You are completely justified and honesty I would stay kids or no kids u deserve the love u give
Liars usually don’t stop lying. You need to decide what your self worth is and then follow your heart on this.
I think you’re forgetting that it didn’t work out with those women. When men realize in their view what their mistakes were in a relationship they don’t want to repeat them. So I think he obviously felt that his romantic ways weren’t appreciated and that he felt taken advantage of before. So he told you not to expect that from him and you accepted that and loved him anyway. And you’ve had a family and a successful relationship thus far. You can’t look at a persons past and evaluate or compare to how they are now. Having those failed relationships changed him.
If the situation were reversed and you had found out that he was awful and abusive to his ex wife, and he has never been to you, would you then ask why her and why not me?
You aren’t in competition with his exes. You’re his wife. Move forward and tell him you want him to be more romantic and work on fitting that in together, it’s not a one sided thing.
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Maybe the women he sent all that stuff didn’t appreciate it.
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Alix Elizabeth yep, set the standards from the beginning and she even said she had zero problems with it. I would be pissed he lied from the very beginning though.
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Idk on one hand it might be that he did all of this for his ex’s and it never worked out so it’s almost like why bother. On the other hand you are together and have kids so doing something occasionally wouldn’t hurt. Id stop doing things. Let him chip in with household work, doing the dishes and making his own food. The fact that he has made you pay for everything it’s almost like he took advantage of you though. But I guess it could be that you allowed it so he kept doing it, like he saw an opportunity. I would be having a serious talk with him about the future.
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You have accepted and allowed this to go on for too long. You need to let your husband know that you should be treated better than you have allowed him to. If he doesn’t want to change his behavior or continues to do the same, you need to decide if this is how you want to be treated the rest of your life or begin working on your exit plan.
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I literally feel this in my soul… my husband did this exact thing… he even has romantic pictures and videos and cute Facebook post… with his ex. But I don’t even get a happy birthday or a simple I’m lucky to have you post… I honestly think that men get to a point where they pick us because we understand the no romantic thing. They just don’t want to do it after marriage so they claim they don’t understand how to do it
So what you’re saying is you’re pretty much being a single parent and have already shown you’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself and your kids so why are you still with him? He sounds like he’d rather you act like his mommy then his wife. Get rid of the whole man and find one that’s actually grateful for all that you do. Give yourself the worth and grace you are owed.
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Stop doing shit…just take care of the kids and act like he’s not even there .then go buy yourself something nice
Maybe because it wasn’t appreciated in the past it’s made him sour to these jesters. You have the most precious gifts of all. Those 10lb clones as you call them will love you forever and give you more pleasure than anything material
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Wow he’ll no. I’m sorry
The first time he dropped the ball in the romance area, you should have told him how you felt. If he didn’t change, which he hasn’t your choice was to stay or leave. You stayed.
The description of the children 
. Easy fix. Get rid of him and become an ex. Then you will get all the romantic gestures 
.
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You’ve been taking care of yourself & kids this whole time. Obviously his family covered for him too. If you choose to stay you know it won’t get better. Make a decision & stick to it.
I would pour something on top of his head.
I’m so sorry. If the past jesters with other people didn’t work, then so be it. You are his wife and mother of his children. He should always try. Always know your worth. You deserve better. Best of luck with everything!
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Stop doing things for him if he doesn’t appreciate you then give him his marching orders, your his wife not his mother…you deserve to be treated as such x
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They say if he wanted to he would.
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Fuuuuuuuck that. A letter is free so his excuse is bullshit. He could pick flowers instead of buying them. It’s the thought that counts.
Just leave him it’s not even worth any explanation if he doesn’t know why you leave then he’s a dumbass. Already is
I think you know now is the time to leave and go home. Get a lawyer, talk about your rights. Make him get off the cell, stop playing games, and help, parenting is done by both parents not one. Don’t give him any money. Get a separate account for you only.
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Girl you’ve been doing it solo anyway, make it official. One thing I know about men… if they wanted to, they would. He does not care. Go get yours! You deserve so much more 
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My husband said this when I asked for a separation… I’m finally willing to try and you want to leave? I’ve been asking for years just small things. Pick up after yourself. Spend time with us. This statement really proved to me every other time he just told me anything to keep me. Sounds like your husband does the same
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Guess time to get another man that would treat ya way better
Leave Now take the kids .!!!
Your first problem was he told you he isn’t something you knew you wanted an you just ok’d it! Sometimes we have to teach people how to treat us! You settled for that instead of setting the tone of what you wanted for your life! We as women have to stop settling!! If he wasn’t going to give you what you knew you deserved then you should have either showed him how or kept it moving!
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I’d be talking to a divorce lawyer, if he’s not doing that for you, you’re not the one he wants, you’re who he settled for
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Leave. You don’t need him. He doesn’t appreciate you at all.
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Time for him to go not u him
Unfortunately you married a deceitful, bad person:man_shrugging:
You probably should move on now, as difficult as it may be (since you can’t trust him for any proposed reconciliation)
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If you’re happy with your life minus not getting gifted things then stay and buy your own stuff 
most of the time guys don’t buy you what you want anyway.
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If he wanted to be romantic for you he would. Does he have other qualities that make staying with him without romance worth it?
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Not saying what he’s doing is right but this sounds like he’s given up and gotten “lazy” based on past relationships.
My guess would be he thinks because he did all that for those girls and things didn’t work out with those relationships then why bother… I would imagine those girls possibly made it clear to him from the start that they expected that kind of treatment.
And when you guys got together you were clearly very independent and said you didn’t care about presents. He never did see the need to start doing extra when you were happy with just him and didn’t need all that stuff.
It’s a very selfish, simple way for him to think, if that is the case. especially after everything you have been through together for him to not think he needs to do anything like that at all for you even now.
You need to speak your mind and say that now especially after having three kids and taking on so much for your family that sometimes you would like a little reminder that he appreciates you and you mean the world to him.
Good luck Mama !
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Leave his ass; you deserve better!!
Girl get out. He isn’t going to change. You are obviously not a priority when it comes to romance. Find yourself a real man and save yourself the heartache. Believe me he will not change unless he wants too.
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Been there! All BS and excuses! No gifts, flowers or cards. 21. Yrs. (Didn’t have time, too busy) never a anniversary celebration! Every day the same. 
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He’s taking you for granted. Speak up and maybe plan a way out since he doesn’t even care to try and you are being treated like a slave anyways. Sounds like your pretty much a single mom already from the sounds of it.
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Wow…
My heart literally hurt after reading this!
That’s insanity.
I don’t think I’d ever be able to get over such thing.
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He doesn’t even like you!
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Omg that is just awful you really need to move on he will never change 
God bless 
you and your little ones
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I’m going to play devils advocate for a second.
Maybe he saw that it didn’t matter what gestures he did with them they still ended up not together. Is he kind to you? Does he take care of those big headed clone babies? Does he make you feel loved without the material things? If your answer is yes then maybe not get as worked up. My husband and I don’t do gifts. We did before our kids were born but now we just focus on them and what they need.
Your post isn’t completely clear though is he still sending the ex’s stuff now or are we talking about in the past when they were together. If he’s still doing it then you’re right that’s horse crap and he can go back to one of them.
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Wow…… I am so sorry…. He is an asshat ……There is no excuse
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Stop doing things for him. Don’t cook his dinner or wash his clothes etc. and tell him he can do his own stuff. Maybe he is just taking your for granted and needs to realize that he has something fab. I believe you don’t need a card or presents but appreciation goes along way. So if you want him to stay make him appreciate you. Make him work hard for respect.
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Told my bf about this and he thinks the other girls ruined it for him … either way fucked up af for you and not cool
Your first red flag was him not chipping in on trips here
He likely feels you are trapped in the marriage no matter how he treats you. I would leave now
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A father said to his daughter “You have graduated with honors, here is a Jeep I bought many years ago. It is pretty old now. But before I give it to you, take it to the used car lot downtown and tell them I want to sell it and see how much they offer you for it.”
The daughter went to the used car lot, returned to her father and said, “They offered me $1,000 because the said it looks pretty worn out.”
The father said, now “Take it to the pawn shop.” The daughter went to the pawn shop, returned to her father and said,”The pawn shop offered only $100 because it is an old Jeep.”
The father asked his daughter to go to a Jeep club now and show them the Jeep. The daughter then took the Jeep to the club, returned and told her father,” Some people in the club offered $100,000 for it because “it’s an iconic Jeep and sought by many collectors.”
Now the father said this to his daughter, “The right place values you the right way,” If you are not valued, do not be angry, it means you are in the wrong place. Those who know your value are those who appreciate you…Never stay in a place where no one sees your value.
Credit: Unknown
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You need to set the record straight. Call them out for it. That’s a end of story he did for everyone else but you. You made that truck all the way from another country, you might want to rethink it. Start thinking about what you can do for yourself and your children and start leaving him out of things, and see how he feels. Like no more celebrations of his birthday‘s anniversary‘s Father’s Day nothing go cold turkey and the kids wanted to say no so he can’t do it for us, we can’t do it for him.
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Leave him. Figure out custody child support and Find a Man that treats you right.
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You did state when you came to visit, he never paid for anything! 
When ppl show you who they really are , Believe them!!!
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I suggest you send him away . No if ands about it. And don’t look back
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He’d have to earn every single thing he got from me from now on, and he better start sending me flowers because it’s a nice day outside.
It’s one thing if he wasn’t that way at all, but it’s another thing when you put your desires on the back burner in order to be understanding of his lack of ability.
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Girl, you deserve so much better. I would get now
Get rid of him. Get alimony and child support. Get a good lawyer who will make him pay. Make sure you get copies of all his missions and financials. Good luck
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This is what happens when you settle.
My ex never gave me shit, not even a piece of chocolate for my birthday.
I wasted 2 years with the prick and then I let that weight go.
My now husband is the sweetest more thoughtful person to me!!
The right guy will do all the sweet things for the woman he wants, not for the one that ask him!!!
I learned that the hard way!!
When a woman plays hard to get then the man will go out of his way to win her over. If you were an easy catch & didn’t make him basically beg you for attention or for a date then he feels like he didn’t have to earn you. Sounds harsh but its true.
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You are entitled to feel angry…It seems like he has been taking you for granted for a longtime. I would take a break from him with the kids and reflect on what you still want out of the relationship ( if any).
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You know where you stand with him. I’m sorry you have been mistreated but please see this as a MAJOR sign that it’s time to get the hell out. He’s a pathetic excuse for a human being and doesn’t deserve all you put into the relationship.
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He sure is disrespectful. I’m sorry. He did those things cause he’s selfish and to blunt because he can. He’s gotten away with for years. Don’t allow it to continue and stay in the marriage too.
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I would have dumped him when he said he wouldn’t be paying for any of your flights to see him. You need to leave him, he’s been lying to your for years. I’d pack up all my stuff and move back home once I saved up enough money because he’s a boy, not a man.
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I feel your pain. I would go on strike and demand that he gets his shit together and stop taking you for a ride
I suggest you leave the kiddos with in the care of someone you trust and take “vacation time” with him. Go for the day to somewhere that’s a couple of hours away, like a beautiful nature reserve or National park 
. Stop at a gas station there and ask him if he can go in to get coffee/snack… whatever for you both. Once he goes in. Wait a moment and leave . Just LEAVE his ass there & drive back home.
By the time he’s gotten back. That’s IF. His shit should be out on the curve. He’s taken you for granted & made you look & feel like a damn fool up until this point so you may as well be petty AF & do a double take as to how F’N stupid & ungrateful he’s been up to this point. I would NOT stay with him. Sounds like you’re a strong woman & I have faith you’d be able to do without him. Stay strong! Don’t take shit from him anymore!
Im so sorry this happened. What a douche bag. He used you. Leave him and make sure you get everything. The house, the kids, alimony, child support, ect. Get it all! He was emotionally cheating probably trying to physically cheat as well. You dont deserve that.
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Couples therapy for both of you and individual therapy for him. I’m guessing he feels burned from those previous relationships. Also discuss finances with the therapist. He’s taking you for granted by remaining terribly guarded. And he’s modeling this behavior to your sons.
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That’s waaaaay too much drama…time for him to go
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As I read this, my question is: what exactly attracted you to him? He has done nothing so far for you, how did you end up marrying him?
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Well…he spent a lot of money on exes. Maybe him spending so much money on relationships that didnt work out made him not want to do it anymore? 
His family probably has the same mindset. Spent a lot on an ex that didnt work out. Only reasoning i can see to it. Just do for him what he does for you from now on. He doesnt get you anything for holidays and bdays…do same to him and ignore those days. Maybe then he will want to start making more of an effort when he feels like crap too. Never know. Worked for me a little bit. Now my husband at least gives me money to get my own stuff on dates if he forgets…and he actually makes an effort to get me flowers at least 1 time a year. Before there was no effort at all. Good luck. Men are hard headed. Hard to get them to see the error of their ways.
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I would get him some edibles and chocolate and a nice card and tell him you don’t know how to stay married no more and send him away no questions asked but first I would drain the bank account you deserve it after all he spent it all on his V ex all these years
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idk why you would put up with any of that in the first place
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He needs to go u don’t deserve to be treated like that u honestly deserve to be treated like a queen if it were me he would of been gone a long time ago…
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Get rid of him. He’s nothing but SCUM. Don’t hurt urself any more over a man that u know isn’t worth it
All i can say is WOW!!! That’s every kind of WRONG!!!
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Send him chocolates, flowers and a card with some divorce papers.
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Posts rarely can make me cry but this just breaks my heart. You deserve way better than that!
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You’re acting like he’s sending these things to those women right this second, stop. He told you up front he isn’t romantic. From what you found looking in places in the past something obviously caused him to stop being romantic. You have children with this man, and you’re over here acting like a child who didn’t get to pick a toy from the toy aisle. This was a moment you could have talked to your husband and asked “what happened” “how can we change this because I want to be romantic going forward and I want you to be comfortable being romantic” sheeeesh.
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What a horrible slap in the face. He is a user. What they do is they slowly sneak it up on you. They test the boundaries here and there, testing you, seeing what kind of person you are. Constantly pushing for more. Until they have complete control. Further, they distort the truth by studying you to find your weak points so they know how to bring you to your knees. (never tell them your bad stuff, it just loads their proverbial gun). They are not fixable. And they will do this to everyone they meet until their dying day or until they run out of victims. So sorry you got caught up in the web. Life is better on the outside of that prison.
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THE BIG QUESTION IS EVEN WITHOUT FLOWERS AND GIFTS HOW DOES HE SHOW YOU HE LOVES AND RESPECTS YOU RIGHT NOW
by the looks of things you always travelled to see him and not vice versa…so you chased him and he didnt go out of his way to pursue you…
Maybe he stopped caring about being romantic because it didnt get him anywhere but heartache…not every guy wants to be like that anymore
When he started dating you and realized he didnt have do those things to get you to love him he knew you didnt care about those things
You have put up with him not helping you do anything in the house but you let him get away with this from the beginning so now you are complaining…my hubby does housework because i said im not here to be a maid and a cook and he does work because he lives here too and eats …if i dont feel like cooking i make grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner with no complaints from him
But try getting out of the house and going places with the kids or getting a babysitter and making time for yourself…go to the park or beach anywhere where you can meet other people and make friends…you sound lonely as hell
Also a good thing to do is go to the gym and work out to relieve some of this tension that you have built up some gyms have babysitting places there
Alot of people are saying leave him but if you really love him just let it go and if he shows you in other ways that he loves you then work on things
After kkids go to bed once a week set up a nice take out dinner for you two and have some drinks and make time for just the two of you…wear a nice bra and panties…
Or go out for dinner every couple of weeks …start date nights with him
Bring out the romantic side of him its there just have to bring it out…its never to late to try
You could be sitting down with him and try communicating with him about what happened that he stopped being romantic and say you would love it if he was to try for you…
Thats why marriages fail lack of communication …if you have a strong marriage you should be abke to talk about everything and anything without fighting and tell him how you feel…geepers
I think you two spend so much time working and looking after kids that you forget about each other
You need to get that special feeling back so start trying
With the money you make from home you can afford to do this…i would love to know what kind of work you do
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So what’s the problem here? That you invaded his privacy or that you didn’t tell him expensive gifts are important to you? You were fine enough to not complain for 6 years why on earth would you back date your irritation? Seems unfair to him. Maybe your individual therapist can help you develop some basic communication skills so you can learn how to speak clearly to other adults I dunno.
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Please get rid of this 
& get yourself some happiness " & is he still doing this is what I would like to know " sounds like he is " pack him out the 
" worthless piece of crap 
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Aside from these romantic gifts etc. does he make you feel like you are the ONLY one for him? Do you ever doubt his feelings? You did all the traveling and paying before the marriage. Is it possible that he was just going along because you made it easy? Why did you get married? (Shotgun wedding). It’s possible that he married you out of obligation rather than true love and adoration. The post doesn’t give us ALL the details. How do YOU feel about him? Right now, I understand that your feelings are hurt, but if you had never known this, would you be perfectly content in your marriage?
Now, as far as working hard and doing the work and parenting.
Marriage is not a 50/50! It’s 100/100. Each person should be giving 100% to the other. Household responsibilities need to be shared. If you continue like this, you will end up angry and start to resent him. You have young children, life is too short to be unhappy. Feel free ro PM me if you ever need to chat. Good Luck.
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Sounds like he took advantage from the beginning, he didn’t need to spend money on you. Instead of giving to him have flowers delivered to you and nice meals and use his credit card since he is too lazy to do it for you. Obviously he doesn’t care that much for you, that’s why I trust in the Lord and look to Him for my happiness. Trust me I have been married over 40 years, he’s not worth the effort. Find your happiness elsewhere
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Honestly I’d move on find somebody who actually shows u how much they mean to you
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So you equate love with material things. Sounds like he should leave you behind, gold digger.
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Leave girl leave.things will just get worse .he’s had enough of you.he wants new toys.
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Snake in the grass is to got a word for him
What a dirt bag. He would be nothing without you!! Leave his butt and send him a Get Well card!!!
Yea I’d leave him …he is taking advantage over you and isn’t going to change
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He’s a jerk!!! I’m sorry for you. You deserve better.
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I’ve been in a similar situation. My partner never wants to do anything together, it’s difficult to get him to do a “date night”, go to a nice restaurant, come shopping with me, take photos together, rolls his eyes when I ask him to pose for a selfie with me, etc. My partner won’t even hold hands with me when we’re out together. When I saw photos of him and his ex hanging out, holding hands, heaps of photos he took of her doing stuff, hanging out in the shopping centre, heaps of selfies of them together, that he actually took!, them generally doing stuff, them kissing etc I asked him why he didn’t ever want to take pictures with me, or do any of that stuff with me and he said “Because that was all fake, what we have is real” when I asked why he didn’t think he had to do all that stuff with me, or to keep me his answer was pretty much the same. I realised I had made it too easy for him just to be and he didn’t have to chase me. I realised I had done that and I just had to get over it and move on 
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Time for that spect lawyer
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Well I think people do these things naturally…I mean you can’t tell someone to do something for you because that isn’t worth it…if he wanted to he would have done it for you…I think you need to stop questioning your self worth and let him find someone who won’t do half the things you do for him maybe then he’ll realize your worth
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Send yourself flowers don’t wait for a man to do it theybare hopeless… uou deserve better get out of the relationship it’s just gonna kill you inside…
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Fuck him move on check him doing one But years out out
Get out and I bet it would be a quick dose of reality for him seeing how much you do for him while he can’t even do something simple for you to show you he cares.
Then find someone better who treats you properly and shows you how much you mean to him.
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He probably did all of those things for other women because they would leave if they felt unappreciated. He knows you’re not going anywhere at this point, so he’s able to treat you worse than he did with them. Why put in the effort when he has you? You need to stand your ground and find someone who will actually care. Talking about it won’t change him.
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Maybe you should move back to Australia and take the kids with you
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And this is why I’m single!!!
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I would take his debit card/credit card… and spoil myself while he stays at home with the kids then I would pay for myself a lawyer with his card!!
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