With all the men in the world he chooses to confide in a woman. Big Red flag ! And treats her better than you ? You already lost him. Either He is in love with his best friend whom is probably also married or in a relationship and cant physically be with her so He stays with you,or you all have kids involved and He has an understanding with his “bestfriend” that this is the way things are . Don’t be someone’s second option or door mat. Get up and get out !
Break it off. If it makes you feel any better he’ll probably start treating her badly eventually. Sounds like he has zero respect for women and him treating her good is just a temporary narc show!
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You don’t need advise, you already know what to do… LEAVE!
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Omg…dump him. You are fooling yourself and need to respect yourself.
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He should be talking to you . NOT some other woman about any problem he thinks he has with you.
Being on dating sites off and on I have met men that wanted to cheat.
And I told them that they should talk it out with their wife. Start doing nice things for her and treating her well .Communication is essential to a good relationship whether it be marriage or friendship.
The woman who is listening to all , his complaints should tell him to talk to you.
You could try a marriage counselor or the clergy. . I wish you the best. But I wouldn’t take any real disrespect, and if he’s not willing to talk to you about things, you have to make up your mind what you want to do. If the love is still there between you it’s worth fighting for
Prayers and hugs and I hope things work out.
One more thing misery loves company.
And many people will try to tell you to leave. This way you can join the miserable group.
If you love your husband, sit down and both of you talk it out, and try to work it out. Especially if you have children . Sometimes people say things and , your husband or wife misinterprets what you said. Clarify things and be patient…
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My husband made a decision and it was me. He had a best friend that was a girl and he chose me. Need I say more. He doesn’t get on apps flirting with other girls again He chooses me. Get you a man that always chooses you !!! They are out there. And you should not carry around this doubt 
praying for you.
First of all r u really that dumb:crazy_face:
move on.Tell lover boy to hit the road.
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What you need to do is LOVE YOURSELF even more that you believe to love him. Self Love is the best love & when you start to do that; there’s No Way you will allow the mistreatment and disrespect from any other…especially one that is supposed to be your partner in life:exclamation:
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If he loved you he wouldn’t hurt you like this. You can’t trust this man!
The dating app would of had me kicking him out
Girl you get a lawyer and a divorce. He’s behavior is ABUSE Emotional Abuse will destroy you. If you can’t afford a lawyer down load the forms on line. Fill them and take them to a judge… Get out he will destroy you.
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Why don’t you both go for marriage counselling? It should be YOU his best friend NOT her! She needs to be out if the picture if you want your marriage to work. All the best sweetheart 
Leave if he does not give the same attention or even more than his best friend than he is not worth yr time u deserve way better from a man that is going devoted his time and attention to u.
Get out of there nothing will change don’t be a doormat. This is abuse from him however you dress it up.
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You love him yes but does he love you back???Once you get to know that,you will be make a better decision
Woman, he should have married his best friend who should have been you. Personally, I would get my affairs in order and plan my exit. I wouldn’t waste my time competing with someone my husband holds in higher regard. He can keep that relationship. Otherwise, get ready to deal with this bs for the rest of your time with this inconsiderate douchebag. If you are renting, leave. If you are buying, pack his bags while he’s not there and change the locks.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband treats his female best friend better than me and has been talking badly about me to her: Advice?
He’s not treating you right. Something is up and you are better off doing therapy or getting out.
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Girl leave. Sounds like he wants his best friend.
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If he isn’t treating you right it might be best to end things. And yeah he said if he wanted to be with someone else he would but he was talking to other women on dating apps so it sounds like he isn’t satisfied and only admitted it cause you pressed him on it. You deserve someone better. Someone who treats you like your husband treats his friend. And him blowing up at you for pointed that out seems like he feels guilty of something which is another red flag. And you shouldn’t have to make him want to be with you. If he doesn’t now that shows you how much he actually cares.
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You say you don’t want to lose him, but sounds like you already have. You’re basically just there in his eyes and he doesn’t see you as anything more than just there. If he did he’d respect you.
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“Hello, Whole Man Disposal Service? Do you do same day pickups?”
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leave. I wasted so much time with someone like this. He was not worth it.
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Sorry but why are you still with him. There’s red flags why is he flirting with other females why is he talking another female about your problems and treating her better. You need to leave this bloke
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You cant lose what you dont have
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I say therapy and if that doesn’t work, start to unravel the marriage. Get out and that that one who treats you like you should be treated.
You are right… you love him more than you love yourself at this point or you would see the red flags, that you are literally pointing out to the rest of us.
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It sounds like your husband needs to be married to his female best friend. Tell them both to take a fucking hike and you do you!
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Leave your. Your better off.
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He wants her not you. Let him go.
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Sounds like he’s narcissistic.
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The best friend is more than a “best friend” there’s clearly feelings there and if he hasn’t acted on them, it’s a matter of time. Do yourself a favor and let the best friend have the loser. 
You won’t be missing anything since it’s not there already. Sorry
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Girl if he admitted to that, the truth is muuuuuch worse. And that best friend? Don’t trust that. His reaction when you mentioned it says it all. I see ALL kinds of red flags here. And then he turns it around on you?? Classic move. Leave him. I know it’s not always that easy, but trust me, you will never be happy with a man like that.
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They are in fact messing around honey. Otherwise he wouldn’t get so mad when you bring her up. He’s looking outside the relationship because he’s a POS. You definitely deserve better.
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Lady wtf is wrong with you. Get your ass out there and have some fun for yourself. Remember: what’s good for the goose is also good for the gander!
You already know what to do
He’s already gone, leave him before he leaves you, you deserve better.
He’s cheating and gaslighting. Don’t let his words twist reality. Time to go and not look back.
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Your husband is not treating you the way he should … It is making you insecure with your relationship… and he’s talking negatively about you and making it look like you’re the bad guy… What he is doing isn’t fair … if you have children they are going to see the way that he treats you and they will think that it’s normal and this is the way you deserve to be treated… don’t put up with it… you can do a million times better than him
Leave HE IS NOT WORTH IT
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Gaslighting and manipulation. He sounds like a narc. Everything will always be your fault. The only way to win is to not play
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do yourself a favor and leave… if you don’t now, you will regret it later.
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I would be more worried about the dating apps then his bf he just wants to vent to someone. And why are you looking at his messages. Go talk to him about how you feel.
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Accept that actions speak louder. Nobody can make anyone do anything. Let it go. Let him go.
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What are you guys 12? What is he doing with a best friend? Especially a woman! Grow up!
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Girl. That’s not flirting. He’s cheating.
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YOU should be his best friend, not another woman. That there alone is a huge problem.
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he is a narcissist and doesn’t really give a shit about anyone but himself. Dump him.
People make time for what and who is important to them. Period.
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He’s definitely cheating with her. Leave. “Best friend”? You’re adults. Who has time for friends when they have jobs and families?! YOU should be his best friend.
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Leave…he is most definitely cheating
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I you are okay with the way he treats you stay but if you are unhappy leave life is to short for all that. Good luck and keep your eyes open the truth will come out if you stay and will break 
even more.
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My husband is my best friend and I am my husbands best friend. We have friends but no one comes before me and no one comes before him friend-wise. That may be your problem
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“…I was angry and hurt and confused and I didn’t mean anything I said or did at all.” Words once spoken CANNOT be taken back. Never say anything you don’t mean just to score a hurt. You cannot unspeak it. So unless you mean it, DO NOT SAY IT. Now too late for you. You done said it. So either decide to stay, apologize for what YOU said and DID. Or leave. And stop dragging his friends in to it. He could as easily have an affair with a man as a woman. So let the sex part go.
KNOW YOUR WORTH. YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BEG OR FIGHT FOR ATTENTION OR TO BE TREATED RIGHT. YOU NEED MORE THAN JUST LOVE TO MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK.
Give that love to yourself, YOU are worthy of being treated with respect. You deserve to TRUST your spouse. You deserve a spouse that puts YOU first.
His friend is blind/dumb if she believes he’s innocent in all this. If she were a true friend she’d set his a*# straight.
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Leave his ass… he is cheating!!
I see all these people pretty much saying opposite sex can’t be friends. People who say this either doubt their partner or have no trust in themselves my best friend outside of my husband is a male but my friend also knows my husband will always come first he does have problems in his relationship and Vents to me. And I always tell him the relationship is worth it in the long run if you want your man to treat you better then you treat him the way you want to be treated in your post you say you haven’t been the best. It’s gonna take time patience and understanding to nurture the marriage back. Everyone is so quick to just say divorce and that’s what’s wrong with the world today
Nope, Im sorry but the ONLY female best friend a man should have is his wife. Idk im old fashioned like that
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Sounds fishy to me. First of all he shouldn’t be trash talking you to anyone. That’s BS that he’s going to her and I personally don’t think you can be best friends with someone of the opposite gender. Someone usually gets feelings and wants more. Don’t attack me if you have a friend of the opposite gender, that is just my personal take on it. My husband is my best friend🤷🏼♀️
Either seek counseling or be on your way out. This relationship sounds absolutely exhausting. From the lies, betrayal, lack of attention or love. This is not how love is or should be. I RARELY say this, but this relationship would be absolutely over for me.
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He is probably sleeping with his bf. Time to file for divorce hon
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You might love him so much, but how much does he actually love you? If he doesn’t consider you his best friend, and treats you as a door mat, because just from what you wrote, you basically let him treat you as one. He knows you love him more than he loves you. He knows you wont do anything or leave. Is it really worth being with someone who treats you the way he does? Is it worth it to your mental health, your kid (s)? The best advice I have ever gotten was to be in contact with a therapist. Even if they are only there to help you sort out your thoughts and what steps you need to do to keep your mental health and marriage in check.
Girl he has been cheating with his “best friend” and any other girls he may have seen behind your back. You will be better off without him
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Talkin badly abt you to her is a huge fuckin no sir. Hed be hearing wtf i had to say then! Boy bye. No respect for you and tbh hed jump in bed w her the first chance he got by the sound of things . adjust your crown, you deserve better
i would not have that he would be out the door
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Why is his best friend telling you what he says she is part of the problem if my husband had a female bestie i would be gone not enough room in my world for another woman
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Dump him like yesterday’s trash he wouldn’t of blown up if he wasn’t guilty why do you have to keep deciding what you can do for him he should be doing something for you to and that’s giving you inner peace and security you’re never gonna be able to trust him again if you’re honest with yourself get the hell out of there find somebody who will appreciate you
Trust your gut, they may not be right now……. But he doesn’t respect you
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Isn’t your spouse supposed to be your best friend of the opposite sex?
If a man wanted to, he would and you wouldn’t have to ask for it. You’re blocking your blessing because of an emotional attachment that YOU created for him & he’s literally showing you that he doesn’t feel the same. If he cared about your relationship then he wouldn’t even flirt with other people.
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Run. Don’t let a man make you think that your reaction to his disrespect is the problem!
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Y’all have given great advice. I’m just upset this is anonymous and I can’t creep on this douchebag and his “friend” 
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You can do better…go find someone else that deserves you!
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Get rid of that man. Nobody should be treating you like shit and then putting the blame on you. That’s narcissism
His best friend know exactly what to say on text messages and so does he. Friends with benefits.
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You gotta love yourself more than you love him. If he’s treating another woman better than his own wife, that’s not okay.
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When your ready to love yourself first more then all the questions your asking us you will be able to answer them yourself.
Sounds like your with a narcissist and that you need to part ways.
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Red flag 
he did something to hurt you and you’re the bad guy?! Nah seems like it won’t be long before he is back to flirting or maybe more. Get out before he breaks your soul and you’re left picking up pieces of yourself and trying to get your life back
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I’d be pissed that his best friend was telling me these things especially if he was talking like that behind my back. I’d put him as a cheater and move on with my life. That isn’t cool at all. Because once to starts it doesn’t end
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Too far gone. Been there already. Take a guess what happened as soon as we broke up…
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BE good to your self.you don’t need him.what he is doing is playing you.until he’s ready to leave.
Love yourself more then you love him. Personally just bc u seen messages doesn’t mean anything they both know what to say and not say. It’s a huge red flag that he’s treating another woman better then u
Better wake up . Is all I can say . He’s gonna keep treating you this way because it’s allowed … and doesn’t sound like he’s really into you … but doesn’t sound like you wanna leave either . Cause you love him to much . So it’s really up to you what your gonna allow .
I think you are in denial your man is gone already, don’t waste more time with him
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Choose yourself above him, you owe yourself that much. Also what’s love when it’s one sided? Trust is broken, respect is none existent, love is one sided, now ask yourself why it’s worth it?
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I was with someone for 15 years. He treated me badly, getting drunk and insulting me, gambling the money away. He always managed to be nice to other women, and said nasty things to me when no one was around. He had cheated and I forgave him. Then I left him, 2 weeks later I found out he had been carrying on with a young girl behind my back, and she was pregnant. They had a little girl 5 months after I left. He is now being nasty to her and her little girl by a previous partner. I feel so sorry for her little girl. But I know he is unhappy, good, and she is unhappy, serves her right for sleeping with him behind my back. I am happy because he is so unhappy, she thought she’d won him from me but ended up with the booby prize. I got to keep the dog who was better than him. Wish I had left years ago. My advice is, if he is unkind to you, get shot of him. He is not worth holding on to. Let another mug have him as her problem. X
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You’re not the problem. He is. You gotta love yourself enough to leave. Right now it’s just words he’s blowing up. It will progress to physical in time. He’s a cheating abusing a**hole that don’t deserve your time and heart ache.
Love him?! Why!! Ughh let’s stop being naive. I mean do you need to see him in the actual act!! He is definitely not the one husband or not when a person shows you who they are!!! BELIEVEEEE THEMMMM
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turn about is fair play start flirting see if that wakes his sleepy butt up
Losing a lover is better than loving a liar!
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actually leave the phone open to these commentd mayby he will see he is a dog
If I tell my husband I don’t like when his female friends. It’s not me being insecure. I come before any other female in his life. If he said that about me with any of my guy friends they be out the door because he’s my husband. And he comes before anyone else. But don’t you put I am first in your life if he’s not gonna do the same for you. If you tell him you don’t like her or he’s been to her and you don’t like it. Then leave. You’re not an option for your husband you’re the only damn choice unless you say otherwise. I’m not saying for the ladies on here they’re gonna be like you’re controlling. If your husband respected you enough he wouldnt be doing the things that hurt you.
Best friend or not u should be number one not this girl ur husband should have ur back 100%!
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When anyone puts out negative relationship issues to someone of another sex —that’s a problem
This is way over, I’m sorry. It’s done and things won’t change.
He’s cheating plain and simple, you don’t have to have sex to cheat (as if he’s not) 
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Get a guy best friend.
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Why do I feel like this is me minus the flirting thing on the app. Its hard admitting this but. If he wanted to treat you that way he would without you asking. But now I feel like I need to take my own advice 
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I was the girl best friend at one point. And no I wasn’t a home wrecker and no he didn’t cheat on the girls with me. BUT he wanted to date me before he met these girls he would end up dating and I would say no cuz we were friends. Well now he left her and him and I been dating for 5 years. And he said he always wanted to he with me but I rejected him so he went out with them. Hope that not the case but it’s a possibility he had feelings for her before you.