If you have to beg to be treated like you matter then it is time to respect yourself.
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Leave. That’s how it started with my first husband. Became abusive fast. Get out while it’s still semi safe to…
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A lot of people are giving you great advice. It is not easy to move forward when you love someone, but loving someone who doesn’t love you back is a lonely game. This situation sounds like my previous marriage. It was so hard to make the break because he had me convinced that no one would love me or want me other than him (he was wrong and so was I for believing that mess). My point is when you’re up close it’s hard to know what to do. Best piece of advice think about what advice you would give a friend if they were describing this situation to you and asking for advice. I’m sure you would advise them that they deserve to be loved and respected. You do too. In my case I’ve been happily divorced for almost five years. I recently started dating someone who is kind, patient, giving and wants to see me all the time….I don’t know what the future holds BUT when someone truly cares about you they show it hon. I pray that you find the strength to make the right decision for you whatever it is, it’s your life…just remember you deserve happiness and peace in your life. Your home should be your happy place, your safe place and your haven. Marriages take work, but they require two people to be fully committed to making it work. If he’s on dating sites most likely he’s seen or is seeing someone on the side sadly I’ve been there. This has NOTHING to do with you but has to do with him. He’s lacking something within him and seeking it in someone other than you…you are not to blame for that. Hurtful words may have been said…it stinks but it happens. If your advice to a “friend” would be to stay and work on her marriage then I suggest counseling. Best wishes to you hon it’s not easy
Better to be alone than lonely and hurt.
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Love yourself more then you love him. You can’t make a man love you the way you feel you deserve. The only thing you can do is love yourself enough not to stand second best. A man who genuinely loves and wants to be with you, will do it on his own. You will be his best friend. You’ll waste a big chunk in of your life trying to beg someone to love you the way you feel you deserve… Focus on loving yourself and walk away. In order for you to find “the one” you have to love and respect yourself differently. Until then, you’ll always find yourself not being worthy to a man who isn’t even worth half of what you deserve.
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That’s sad I’d tell him the bull stops I get you love him but love isn’t a man picking a female over his own wife.
Seems like she’s guilty as him too I’d tell her so the boundaries are set
" I am wife I come first you need too stop coming between us and find someone for you because my husband ain’t the one"
I’m sure both will understand when boundaries are set.
I hope things better hun.
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Why would you let him treat you like that? Do you have a male best friend? How would he like it if you were treating a male friend better then him. And when he asks you why, or gets mad at you. Ask him how it’s feels to be disrespected by you. Because that is what he is doing. Disrespecting you big time. Your worth more then that. Just remember that. Love yourself. NO MAN IS WORTH BEING DISRESPECTED BY.
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How would hubby feel if you had a male companion.Somebody to chat to and spend some time with?
Do not show your hubby that you are hurt.Get yourselves a hobby and keep your mind busy with things that occupy your mind.
If hubby wants to be on tinder and go the extra mile to have female best friends he will go into a Cul de Sac.
If you play with fire you will eventually get burned.Gain confidence.Believe in your self worth and make it on your own.Never depend on a man.Those strong wonderful men on a white horse are faily tales.Go out and conquer your self worth.You are special!!!
What would you say to your best friend if she came to you with this story? The man is more then likely cheating. He’s treating you as he does to destroy you self confidence and keep you holding on. You take care of him and his home allowing him to do as he pleases. As hard as it will be, it’s time to pack your bags and leave. I waited too long and my boys carry the scars along with me.
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Well I believe he shouldn’t treat any women better than his own wife unless it’s his daughter and maybe his mom lol. But a whole nother women. No thank you!!! I couldn’t deal with that. This sounds so toxic!! Sounds like your gonna get hurt again
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Leave! Once a cheater always a cheater my ex did the exact same thing for the entire 11 years behind my back… towards the end is where he became more distant, flirting with others online, exchanged xxx pics you name it he did it… at some point you have to know when enough is enough and not be a doormat
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You can’t respect your self if you’re not taking care of number one
He sounds like a POS!!! Leve him, maybe that will make him open his eyes & realizes he does love you, or idk maybe he’ll just be fine with it. I wouldn’t want to stay!! Too much to try & compete
You need a best friend too someone that keeps your mind off you all relationship and do thing together…
Start treating him the same way and see if he likes it
Your husband sounds like a bitch! I’d leave, you deserve better,
You should respect YOURSELF more and realize that this is on him and not you. If you have to beg someone for attention, it isn’t genuine. You can be on your own and take care of yourself, instead of trying to appease a man that obviously doesn’t value you in his life.
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He has a female bf. Ok, no problem. But he treats her better than you AND gets upset when that bothers you? Yeah, that’s a huge problem.
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Leave. You should be first no wayyyy…
What makes your husband so comfortable talking to his girl best friend and also the fact he can talk bad about you? Open your eyes because something is clearly going on, Cut ties with both of them
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Get rid of his lying cheating ass. U stay ur only hurting urself and it tells him he can continue to walk all over u. Ur stupid af if u stay
Drop his ass! He’s a manipulator and he treats you like shit. Ain’t worth it trust me. Took me 7 years of me being drained until I got fed up and never looked back when I dropped him.
Once a Cheater, always a Cheater sis…
Just leave him
Leave him find some else
Marriage counseling or divorce are your options. You already admit there’s a problem. Either you work on fixing it or move on. If he doesn’t want to do the counseling you have your answer.
There has to be a reason he turned to a dating site. He is not yours…as others have said you must love yourself. The most important thing in my opinion is respect. It doesn’t seem to have that for you, and how can you have that for him. Protect yourself and kick him out.
He’s probably already cheating on you! Get a divorce and move on!!!
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This dude wants to be with his “best friend”.
Besides, you already caught him chatting to other women…ON DATING SITES. How much more proof do you need that he ain’t the one, sis?
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You’ve already lost him…
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Just admit to yourself, he gotta go. Yesterday was the dating apps, today its the "best friend ", tomorrow there’s a waiting list. Sorry girl, love and respect YOURSELF. He’s not for you. He’s everyone else’s though.
Sounds like the friend and him have a secret going on…
You need to leave if he is treating anyone better then you at all
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What does your gut tell ya?? Go with it.
Leave, find peace and live a better life quality, all the best!
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When you leave the unwanted clouds will leave and you’ll see everything with fresh eyes. Just don’t beat yourself up about why it took you so long.
Leave now. Why because it’s gonna happen either way. Been there done that. Have the scars.
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Move on.Quick find someone that appreciates you!
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Why would you allow your man to have a woman to confide in? That’s a big fat no. Hello, wake the hell up
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I hate to say this but it sounds like they are messing around I could be wrong but either way u should be his number one and if he is flirting with other women online well there u go
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Take it from one who knows I would bet that he’s fooling around with her been there done that I got rid of him and I was right all along.
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Pray about ir, and the Holy Spirit will definitely clarify things for you…it’s like an inner voice.
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Find someone who loves you for who u are and tell him to take a hike. If u got any kids with him put them and yourself first no man shouldn’t be first before yourself and kids.
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U either talk to his "bestie,"or u tell him u take ur forgiveness back. Ur just gna keep taking it and he’ll blame u again the next time he gets caught cheating
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You asked, and I am saying, not easy, but leave this man alone, some men have wandering eyes, always looking for prettier, younger, demand more for yourself, why aren’t you his best friend , get out lady , before it’s too late, leave with your dignity intact !!!
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GET OUT NOW… He’s doing you dirty and if you keep working things out with him, when he gets caught, you are telling him there’s no consequences for his actions. Trust me I know, I was 1 month from my 30th anniversary and had to kick him out. I tried (working things out) for 3 1/2 yrs and the only thing that changed was (me) and his dirty deeds got worse. YOU DESRVER BETTER HUN. It may hurt and you may struggle to get on your feet but it will be worth the hurt and struggle once you reach that point where you say to yourself, why didn’t I do this sooner. Your worth is way more than he deserves. Break free and let your soul breath again. Good luck hun.
Baby you deserve better,he’s as Dick move away from him because I guarantee you that he will stray and you are worth being treated like a Queen and if your not then demand better for yourself and go and find that one dude who’s smart enough to know a good thing when he see’s it and grab him and you won’t need to demand the best because he will be already giving you the absolute best of himself and treating you like a queen just like you deserve…demand the best always!!
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Leave…you will find peace…not at first but you will.
Move on theres someone will treat you God men are sticky God bless you
Kick his ass to the curb because you deserve better. And sweetie that’s not love love is someone to cheerish you. And apparently he does not.
Red flags everywhere! Cut your losses and gtfo
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Ur self worth is more important. Tell him to piss off. Something wrong somewhere. And its him. Don’t take he’s lies. Wrong if he treats so called friend better than you. Open ur eyes. Been there.
You are supposed to be your Husbands best Friend not another Woman I’ve been in the situation and I took myself out I learned to love myself before I could love anyone else I left him (Not Husband at the time) He realized what we had together and now we wrk as a Team and let nuthin come between us he is an amazing Husband and Best Friend
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Throw the whole man away
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He does exactly what you allow to happen and he’ll keep doing it
Throw him out, nobody blows up about things like that unless they have something to hide. You forgiving him just gave him the greenlight to constantly do it to you over and over now.
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He’s got you wrapped around his little finger.he can basically do whatever he wants because you are are not only going to forgive him but also take the blame for his actions …you only have one life do you want to spend it being happy or do you want to spend it with someone who doesn’t really love you and always taking the blame and forgiving him for his disrespectful cheating actions …just remember you are teaching your children expecially a little girl that is how a woman is suppose to be treated .
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Get rid of him he is cheating , your beating yourself up over what he has done. Move on and leave him as someone elses problem
So you plan on fighting this Golden Girl for him forever? Constantly worrying and feeling less than? Constant paranoia and anger? A deep soul wrenching heartache and longing that NEVER ends sounds like the life you want??
Cuz that’s what you’ll get. Trust me…stop now and leave. It is not easy. And it hurts.
That come back though …
is fire!!!
I wish you the best of everything. Please know this isn’t on you. You are not crazy. You are not over reacting. And he is wrong. This is not how you treat the one you love. My ex is still super close to his girl best friend and we broke up years ago. I refused to be treated like you are any longer and he refused to stop…and she fed off it. I couldn’t stop it. But I sure drove myself crazy and into a suicidal depression over it. And made a huge ass out of myself!!! I used to call them his Golden Girls. They could do no wrong and were valued above all else…like gold lol.
Learn from me and cut your losses now:person_facepalming:
Leave him…if he’s treating another female better than he treats you… it ain’t worth your time…hes just using you cause if he did love you he wouldn’t put another female above you…you would have his attention an this would not be a issue if he was sincere…sounds like a narcissist…blows up on you for asking a simple relevant question…hes a looooossseeerrr! Your better off without him! Best of luck to you…i hope you choose you!..
You & y’all’s marriage comes before ANYTHING !!
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If he says “If I wanted to be with someone else, I would be” then he has his options ready.
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Leave he sounds like a narcissist
Dump him as fast as you can. He does not deserve you. you are too good for that nonsense!!!
He is going to cheat. Or he is. Sorry but it’s the only answer
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Give him the boot. He’s still not innocent. He’s not respecting you enough to work on yalls relationship more. Instead he’s running to his female friend and running his mouth to her.
Not. 
O K .
At this rate he will probably cheat again or still is.
I was married to this kind of man once. Like your husband, he is a narcissist. He still has yet to change with his current wife.
Get out now. Work on yourself and then find a good man or stay single.
YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS.
he is a cheat you just havent seenit for what it is sorry
Trust me when I say, leave while you can! I’ve been going through exactly this for over 9 years. It never changes. I feel for you. 
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Yikes. He ain’t the one
Do yourself a favor and leave. It’s not worth it. Life is way to short! Life will get so much better. Leave before you get pregnant by him. It will just make things harder. Even if by some miracle he isn’t cheating he still isn’t treat you good.
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Actions speak louder (and are more honest) than words. Believe what his actions are telling you.
He may or may not be having some sort of affair with his “best friend” and/or other women; but either way, his actions are telling you that you aren’t the most important person to him, that he doesn’t believe you deserve his attention and kind treatment/respect the way others do, and that he doesn’t care that it hurts you.
His actions are telling you where you stand with him, and it isn’t where you should be as his partner in life.
Most importantly, his actions are telling you that you deserve far better than him.
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This is a no brainer! People fall in love and people fall out of love it’s a fact of life. He is displaying all the signals of someone who is ready to MoveOn you need to let him go now before he hurts you even more
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Oh he’s definitely been there , you don’t talk to a female friend about your partner like that if nothings happened
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so go on letting him make himself feel big by degrading you it will not change been there done that
You know the answer hun and your even proving it to yourself. Nobody should have to work this hard for attention from anyone especially from the ones who are to love you the most. Time to move on my dear take all that energy and tdirect it in moving forward however way that may be for you. Whatever it is you know that we are just a a call away for you
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Love isn’t always enough. My ex husband said and did the exact same things and he was cheating. If he is willing to ruin your marriage by flirting and chatting with others he will do much worse than that I promise you!!
It’s called forsaking all others. That includes the female “best friend”. Show his ass to the door.
Woowww… ever looked up the definition of narcissist?! He is the very definition!
You can’t be seriously be sitting there WISHING he would treat you the same as another female friend or not that’s just damn ridiculous. Know your worth! You are so much better and deserve better tell his ass to go ahead and be with someone else why the fuck is he on dating apps at all?! What the hell!
Move out. Let him find out who and what he wants and find yourself a male friend. Whats good for the goose is also good for the gander
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He is trying to get sympathy from her by trashing you and trying to make it look like you treat him badly so that she will feel bad and give him see type of sign that she wants to be with him…either way if he isn’t treating you better than any other female in his life then you are setting yourself up for failure. Please run before you get anymore hurt
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Denial. You dont love him, just the idea of him. It’s comfortable. He has been freely disrespecting you and your marriage contract, nevermind relationship or love. Kick his ass to the curb.
That would not be happening in my house… that’s totally wrong. I would be gone. He should have 100% respect for you and he should be putting your feelings first. A real man would see that his actions where upsetting you and would do whatever he could to make it up to you, even if it meant breaking it off with this women. You should mean more to him, having said that noone should have to give up friends for their partners insecuritys but you should atleast work together to come to an adult solution on how to best support eachother.
What should you do? I’m pretty sure you already know what to do 
I was married 10 years to a man who always gave the world the best of himself and I got the rest. For years I tried to explain how badly he made me feel. The thing is every time I tried to explain my feelings, he always made me feel like my feelings weren’t valid.
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Stay strong and ask him if he is having an affair with this so called best friend I think you know the answer already just be prepared for all the lies and putting the blame on to you good luck
Clearly he’s not the guy you should be with. Anyone that can hurt you doesn’t love you.
Fuck him for putting you on a guilt trip
I’m going to be honest, he’s either in love with her and has been since they’ve been best friends, or he’s cheating with her. Otherwise he would have no reason to blow up like that at all
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Run!! Seriously. You just described my last relationship. All I can say is, thank God I didn’t marry him. But I wasted 9 years of my life with him. He even made me take his last name and tell people we were married!
I ran 12 years ago. Married my best friend. And I’ve been happy since.
So seriously, run!! Find your true love, because he’s not it.
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First: you are suppose to be his female best friend. Second: LEAVE.
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Don’t ever love a man more then you love yourself. 
Is your BFF a man? No need to beg anybody to spend time with you either they want to or they don’t🤷🏼♀️
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This sounds all to familiar…. RUN!!!
He is manipulating and gaslighting.
He did the wrong and has turned it on you. RUN RUN 
If he wanted to spend time with you, be more nice to you he would. Also sounds like maybe he really is hiding something or has feelings for this female friend with the way he gets angry, almost like hes guilty. Also him on dating sites and talking to other women he doesn’t respect you. If he cared how you felt he wouldn’t be doing half these things! That trust that you once had will never be the same. It will always linger in the back of your mind if he is talking to someone new etc. I think maybe you need to distance yourself and eventually if he doesn’t make an effort then move on!!
G a s l i g h t i n g
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband treats his female best friend better than me and has been talking badly about me to her: Advice?
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Love yourself. Don’t put up with that. He’ll just get better at hiding it and 5 years from now you’ll be wishing you’d left sooner.
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CLASSIC NARCISSIST!!! They never change. He will always blame you for everything wrong with him. At some point when he is through getting his high from verbal/emotional abuse towards you, IT WILL TURN PHYSICAL. Close your ears to him. Leave when he is not home. If you have no where save to go, scout out a battered woman’s shelter such as the YWCA. Even if he takes up with his best friend, be assured the behavior will be turned towards her in time and any other woman he pursues. GET OUT NOW!
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I see it as cheating. Anytime a spouse gives intimate conversations to someone who is not your spouse i see it as cheating. His best friend has put herself into a home wrecking situation. She needs to BUTT OUT
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Move on, sorry to be blunt but your marriage isn’t going to work. Be strong and move on. Good luck
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I bet he’s said to the “best friend” that his wife just doesn’t understand him. 
If he loved you, you would be his first priority. Leave.
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