Narcissistic behaviour right there he blames you for saying hurtful things to him
Learn to love yourself more than him
Get out and get some therapy to become stronger you are worth more than that 
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Girl, RUN!!! If he really loved you and respected you, there would be no questioning about his feelings for you! I say this from experience and the best advice I can tell you is to leave him, as hard as it will be to do it but you know what, it’s better to be alone than to be with somebody and still feel alone! Good luck, and God bless!!
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When a person shows you who they are the first time BELIEVE THEM !!
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This must be a very difficult decision for you to make, what to do, how to act, other people telling you how to feel and what to do. I hope everything works out for the best and that you feel confident and secure in yourself To make the best decision for yourself and your future.
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I have been thru this. You are providing a service…cooking, cleaning and a lot of other things. He is cheating on you emotionally…you are to good for him. Move on. I stayed because I had kids. If I had to do it all over again, I would have left
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I would not trust this man at all, he’s not being honest with you, you already lost him, move on…
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Covert narcissism (emotional/mental abuse). He is picking favorites and making you feel left out and terrible about yourself. He draws you in, convinces you that he loves you, then pushes you away. All the while this other girl is getting all of his good attention. This will be an ongoing circle until it changes into physical abuse. He will not change, even after you’re gone. Prevent yourself from getting stuck. Get out while you can.
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My husband is my best friend And vise versa I wish he would call another woman his best friend less long be hanging out with her. You are giving him too much rope and besides his female best friend should also be your friend by inviting you to hang out with them, she’s not right either she knows how us women are. You better look at Her with one eye cocked
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He is trouble and I wonder what he has been doing all these years. You will never trust him again. He should leave. He knows how much you love him so he does these things and says about you. He is sending you a message. Terminate the marriage. It is obvious you can’t trust him. You will a much happier person without him.
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Your first mistake was forgiving him. Marriage is complicated but just because he admitted something doesn’t me he is done for good, and if after all that he cannot see what he has with you then he doesn’t deserve you. One day he might grow up and care about the person he is with, but you cannot force it to be you. It will destroy you
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If he isn’t defending you when your not around, then he doesn’t love you. Time to move on,unless you just want to watch him completely walk all over you and make it all look like your the bad guy and the reason your relationship didnt work. You should always have your spouse’s back.
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Your heart already knows what to do . If he’s lying to her about you I’d bet he’s lying to you about her. You can love him but you should love yourself more and stop letting him sell you short… your not happy and you know it … sometimes love ain’t enough
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He is cheating, u dont know what he is doing behind your back, he must have some kind of feelings for her if he blows up about the conversation, he must like her to treat her better than u. Either find u someone, a best friend and see how he likes it.
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Look I use to think that to ,thinking just like you ,guess what my husband left me and married my best friend which she was also his friend as well. Moved in first with her. Took care of her children left me with 2 kids .do dont be a fool like I were. Get out now .
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Stop being a volunteer to this abuse AND DUMP THIS GOOD FOR NOTHING
You may love him so much but he DEFINITELY DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU
I went through same and became stronger wiser and more content
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Why do you want to continue to be this person’s punching bag. You allow him to treat you like dirt, then you get hurt and angry when he does.
GET A LAWYER. GET DIVORCED. GET A THERAPIST.
Live alone for a while. Depend on yourself ffg for everything. If you get alimony bank it. Just survive on what you can provide. You need to become totally self sufficient.
YOU ARE ENOUGH!
You are all you need.
Then if you find a man GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, you date him, you get to know him and his friends and family. You ask a lot of questions, you observe. Before you take him into your heart or your bed.
YOU ARE ENOUGH!
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“Even though he broke something inside me, I’m still the bad guy” classic gaslighting. That shit never gets better. Get out now before it’s too late and you end up begging for scraps of attention. Perhaps a little space will cause him to rethink his priorities…if not, you’re better off on your own
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Well I have a different suggestion. If you love him, show him. Don’t wait for him to do things for you, take the initiative and do something special for him. With no expectations. Doesn’t need to be anything big or spectacular. I used to leave little notes in my husbands notebook for work. Sometimes it would be days till he found it but it always made him feel special. Marriage counseling might be needed too but if you love him, show him.
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Seen this too many times.Leave him now and save your heart from further heartbreak cause you can bet it’s coming! Wish you well but trying to trust a cheater is futile no matter what they say.
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Don’t let anyone in your life that disrespectful to you.
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I was married to a cheater. I forgave him once. 2nd time I got a divorce. He ended up marrying our next door neighbor and my hair dresser who was the person I caught him with. Long story short, she cheated on him several times over and his married life was H—- on earth! What goes around comes around!
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My ex husband and I came to the same agreement. Long story short, he lied and was on several dating sites. It was at least 5 yrs of him sneaking around before I found out. I’m not saying yours will do the same. Just guard your heart and stay aware of what’s going on. Good luck.
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Sorry my dear but you’ve already lost him. NEVER EVER beg for s/ones love & attention. U deserve to be truly loved & not fight to be #1in his life. that spot should be yours & yours alone. W/ out all this drama. U deserve better … good luck
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Trust your instincts. You deserve better. Loving him, won’t change him.
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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck it’s a duck. He’s cheating. And your letting him. Leaving hurts, but face it now or face it later but he’s half out the door, slam it and move on.
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Never make someone a priority in your life if you are just an option in his. Move on, the longer you wait, the more it will hurt.
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If you choose to call it quits have him leave. You keep the home and everything in it plus ask for spouse support and get a damn good lawyer.
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He is too much work and obviously not to be trusted. How much more does he have to hurt you before you wake up? Get out of there!
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Get out, you are not and never will be the number one female in his life, do you have a male best friend you confide everything in? Didn’t think so!!
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Honey, "HE DON’T LIKE YOU " Pick up the leftovers of your pride and move out and on. HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU SIS.
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If he was truly in love with you he would never disrespect u to anyone ! Try counseling if he will go but it sounds like he thinks it’s ok to talk crap about u and he’s doing nothing wrong
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He is going to continue to treat you badly. And try to put you down. Why because that is how he is keeping you. Making sure you lose all you’re confidence and self respect. He is only telling her things to get her attention. My advice to you is get some counseling. There’s a difference between being I. love and just loving someone. And I’m sorry but he doesn’t sound like he is in love or even just loves you. Good luck in your future if you end up staying with him.
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First of all u have no reason to feel bad
He not gonna stop this behavior so I’d divorce him just my opinion I’ve been married 30 years if my husband treated other ladies better than me it would be a deal breaker
Hope you the best
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He may as well be having an affair with her. I endured this for a long time until my best friend was sick of seeing me hurt and cut off all ties. Our marriage got better, then he died. There were many other reasons to leave. I was a fool. I would recommend counseling, if he will not, then be done.
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u can’t say they are not dating when he actually treats the female friend better than u,I can purely relate this feeling,u will be shocked in the end of what u will discover with time,how do husband’s even find it easy to have female friends
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Please find a neutral party to sit down with both of you to discuss this. Your family and friends will take sides even though they may try to not do that. It’s worth the cost of a counselor to work through this before it completely explodes. A counselor can be objective, even more objective than a pastor. Don’t wait if you feel this is worth saving. Keep the language fair and unoffensive as possible. God bless you.
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This is touchy as hell. I have a male best friend whom I can go to for anything, and he does the same with me. We’ve known each other so long, we are like brother and sister. We talked about dating in the early years of our friendship and decided against it for fear of destroying our friendship.
That being said, I’ve had relationships with very insecure men who were so threatened by my friend that I had to end the relationship with those men. I don’t hold him in higher regard than I do my boyfriend, but I have the type of honesty with my boyfriend that I can talk to him about anything. He’s my other best friend basically.
Now this lady’s relationship is in a bad way anyway, female best friend or not. He’s already looking around on dating sites, that tells.me he’s shopping around. This also tells.me he would have no problem crossing lines with his bestie. The wife needs to cut her losses in my opinion.
Best friend or not, the relationship they have is an issue if he cannot talk to or treat his wife the same way.
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My mother use to say where there’s smoke there’s fire. And if someone isn’t doing anything wrong why is he so mad. Because he wants to make u to feel guilty so he won’t feel so bad him self.
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Sounds like he’s a high school girl bitching about her lover. Tell him if he has complaints about you say it to your face and make a decision. It’s you or her and believe me if he’s treated you so disrespectfully he will do the same to anyone else.
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She said that he has not flirted with the best friend. He just treats her properly and that she wishes he treated her that way. It doesn’t mention that she’s in their business or crossing boundaries. Stop putting blame on another woman that has nothing to do with the situation. It is HIM. Only HIM. He’s mistreating her. She should leave, she feels like she can change him so she stays but as history has shown that doesn’t happen. Just leave.
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Love ur/self more,respect always…u owe it to one amazing, kindhearted ,& compassionate person ,look @ ur mirror she’s staring right @ u ,that’s the 1st step, 2nd pack his bags…
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He’s already left. He just hasn’t moved out.
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If he can’t understand your feelings about any situation even the smallest then maybe he simply just don’t care about how you feel or what you want love doesn’t mean you accept less then you expect Good luck
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work your way into his female best friends life. Evidently you all have something in common. I think that will get the three of you on the same page. If you can’t get that together, go to couples counseling if the relationship is worth saving.
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Open the door for him and close it when he leaves. He doesn’t care or respect you. When you have lost respect for him then your love will die.
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First of all, you should NEVER have to beg your partner to make you a priority in your relationship. Personally, wether something is going on between them or not, you deserve the same (if not more) respect that he is giving to her. The fact that he blew up at you for simply communicating how you were feeling to him makes him seem guilty in at least something.
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I agree with those that are saying to leave. He’s not respecting you the way you need or deserve to be respected. Atleast separate and work on things. But he’s not going to change unless you show him you’re not putting up with it.
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I have to say it his relationship with his friend & reaction to your feelings about it all sounds quite suspicious to me. I hope you are able to work it out & find peace in your situation. Perhaps counseling if he is willing.
Two become one not three
Don’t let him do this to you xx
Explain how you feel you should definitely be the most important person in his life you should be able to trust him with your life
You do not hurt people you love would you do this to him ?
His friend especially being a woman should also put him right and tell him off for talking about you
If you have a problem he should tell you not her it’s totally demeaning and totally wrong
Please don’t put up with this behaviour,
It’s cruel and unnecessary
Tell him you love him but it’s hurting you
If it blows up and he won’t stop tell him to go
It maybe just the push he needs to make it stop
If not you deserve better xxx best wishes from a woman who understands because I too was treated this way xxx
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Lose him! He is not being honest and faithful. If he has issues about you he needs to come to you and discuss them with you not his female friend. Or anyone in my opinion. If you can’t communicate with each other then things are not going to be good.
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Sounds like classic gas lighting. He is making you feel guilty and bad for his behavior. I’m not sure it would be worth the time and energy to make this relationship work.
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I’m so very sorry your heart is broken. You are a lovable person and should not be disrespected in this way. Get a good divorce lawyer and get rid of him. He is sucking your time and energy. Please love yourself more. Best wishes.
Run!! Don’t walk! I’ve been in your shoes and I tried to save my marriage. We are still together but it has been pure hell! Still yells and screams at me, accusing me of all types of wrongdoing and character assassinations. Now we are roommates in the house. He’s in one room and I am in another. Nothing loving between us. This last episode started with a women he was friends with who happened to be my friend first. This was 15 years ago. He ended his association but has been angry ever since and I am the bad guy to him. Too late for me. Hopefully you will be able to break free in time to have a better life and a new healthy relationship.
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You should run I spent years in a relationship trying to make it work he never changed and in the end I lost myself constantly trying to be someone he would want it’s not worth it I had kids to n it hurt them more than I was aware of they were happier I was happier I found myself move on
Time to tell his best friend, that there is a line that she has crossed, and him too. Don’t be the rug that he wipes his feet on. If he wanted to be with someone else, he would be? That came out of his mouth? He would be gumming soup. Two can play this game… just don’t get played…
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Turn the tables on him and treat his friends like he treats yours and treat him the same way he treats you Maybe if he gets a taste of his own actions he’ll see how cruel he has been !
Sounds like you have expressed your feelings and what you want you can just live like that and be sad or move on know your worth
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Same thing happened to a friend of mine her partners female "best friend " used to go away with him all the time showing dogs and it was always a platonic relationship until it wasn’t needless to say they split up and he was sleeping eith her while he was still living with her. She even accepted that for a while…no respect that’s what it boils down to.
He does not love you. If you think deeply enough you don’t like him. Rightly so… What is likeable about him ? Let alone lovable. Leave this toxic relationship behind.
Sorry to say you need to find a way to move on I know it’s hard an it hurts cause you really love him but he doesn’t return the feelings I’m going threw this now an it hurts but he doesn’t love you like he did
Find yourself a new male best friend, and then act with him how your hubby does with his best friend. I bet he totally understands the dynamics of you and your new best friends relationship 
not. He sounds like a selfish little prick, fgs free yourself from this emotional and mental torture x
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Listen to your instincts. Being on the outside not knowing either of you sounds like he is not committed to you the way he should be and takes advantage of your feelings. Does not appreciate you. You should not have to feel that way in any relationship. You need time to yourself and love yourself. Leaving can be very difficult may be what you need. Best wishes.
Honey if you have to beg for attention then he obviously does not love you. Let’s be real here. what is love? is caring for another person ,is showing love, support and affection. It seems he does not do that. It seems you have to ask for it. Dear please you have to know what your worth and let him go and focus on loving yourself.
Hes cheating. He may not have actually had sex with her yet but hes laying the ground work.
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Way to much work…shouldn’t be that hard…you should definitely be his number one…if not…leave…let his “best friend” do his laundry …keep the house clean…put up with his shit…so disrespectful to you…please don’t put up with that
He has a female best friend? That should be you. Only you.
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You are being used as a doormat. Unfortunately you’ve allowed this type of behavior. He Has broken your trust. I believe you should seek counseling from a couple’s therapist. In reality I would divorce and start over. You have to decide if you really want to be treated this way for the rest of your marriage. Now he acts like a victim. He has broken your trust and for that you should never have forgiven him. How many more times will you forgive him.
I think, by his actions, that his idea of marriage is not the same as yours. I can guarantee you that if it was the other way around he would not be accepting. The fact that he blows up at you shows just exactly where his mind is. Unfortunately I feel like this will not have a happy ending and you need to move on.
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“Run, run, as fast as you can”, or stay and be a doormat. Really, women still feel this way? He wouldn’t have finished the conversation before I had his shit packed. Sorry, truth.
I am sorry for what you are dealing with. I stayed for years because our daughter. He was verbally, emotionally and sometimes physical. I was on my own but I lost the biggest burden! I still am healing. Please get out if you can.
Wake up and start walking, he’s going to leave anyway. You may as well leave with your pride, stop letting him hurt you!
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If she is his best friend than she’ll have no problem having a conversation with you about the lies he’s telling her. Women and men can be very good friends without it ever going past friendship. If she truly cares about your husband she will want to see him happy. She needs to know he’s been lying. If she is not willing to speak with you, or if she completely defends him without hearing both sides of the issues, it’s time to leave your husband. Again, if she is truly his best friend, she will call him out on the lies. Best friends do that. Point out the negative in you as well as the positive. Keep in mind she’s not hearing the whole truth. Don’t start the conversation attacking her.
Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too, guessing he loves you but no doubt in love with his bestfriend, be careful
Well I would get myself a new MALE best friend, and talk to him constantly instead of your husband. When the shoe is on the other foot, he might not like it too much. Don’t shove it in his face, just keep this close confidant for yourself. Me personally, I would give him a heave ho. No great loss.
You last statement says it all! YOU love him and YOU don’t want to lose him! BUT does HE love you and does HE not want to lose you? It has to go both ways for it to work!Ask yourself why he is treating his"best friend" better that you??? It is not you dear it is him???
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You “don’t want to lose him”…??? You already have the minute he chose a “best friend” other than you! Deep down in your heart, I’m sure you realize that!
IF NOTHING ELSE, He’s having an emotional affair.
It’s perfectly fine for men AND women to have friends of the opposite sex…but confiding in them, sharing your personal secrets and business, leaning on them for emotional support is wrong and dangerous for your marriage.
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He may not be physically cheating but hes emotionally cheating. Having lived through this im telling you to leave and rebuild your life without him. I didnt leave and wasted my life, believing the lies. After a 30 year marriage he told me it was time for him to do him. Im so much happier without him…stress free…and sorry i didnt leave when i had a better chance to rebuild my life.
He sounds like a narcissist, be very careful. They are super manipulating. Google narcissist and read about the signs and see if he is.
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By taking him back so easily you basically told him his behavior is okay. I’m not implying that you shouldn’t forgive, but you should n’t forgive without making him work for it. If your partner is truly in love with you they will do whatever it takes to make you trust them again. The fact that he’s shifting blame on to you is proof he hasn’t owned his mistake.
Best friend issue aside… If he is treating you this way the marriage is on the rocks, or maybe over all together…
Seek marriage counseling first to see if it is salvageable… If he refuses, you really have your answer.
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I agree with those who say to get out.
If he is sharing stuff with other people, that is a total boundary violation. He should be treating you like his beloved, cherished wife.
From personal experience, I can tell you that once he starts treating you like manure, the odds of his changing are very poor. Get some professional counseling and make a life for yourself.
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Leave!!! What’s broken inside you isn’t going to be repaired if he loved you he’d do anything to make sure you’re ok, even if it meant cutting ties with someone & he should especially since he’s the one that broke your heart. I wasted 20 years with someone that broke me within our first two years of marriage I don’t believe in divorce & there would be small periods of happiness but it never lasted & that part of me that loved him that was broken within that first two years was unrepairable & he was never faithful even when he said he was, listen to your gut it won’t lie to you like your cheating spouse will & unless something drastic happens such as God comes in his heart. when people say once a cheater always a cheater it’s true. I’d put my money on IF him and his “best friend” haven’t fooled around & just cheated emotionally the physical absolutely will happen. It seems scary to leave but trust me when I say there is happiness. Take that leap of faith and go find your happiness! I am now married to the most loving caring man & now I know what it feels like to be loved I know my narcissistic ex husband never loved me & that’s ok after he hurt me I really didn’t love him I just lied to myself & didn’t know any better.I just wish I would of known how life could be I’d of left my first 2 years in & wouldn’t have looked back. Your peace is everything you will be ok. Leave girl!!!
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Leave you are in a 1 way relationship and deserve better than that why should your feelings be pushed to the side don’t let him do that to you. leave
You should be the number one person in his life. He should be talking to you and not her. I lived with a narcissist for 28 years and leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but you need to learn to love your self and know that you deserve better. You sound miserable and that isn’t how a good relationship should make you feel. You need a partner who loves you as much as you do him. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. A narcissist will blame you and make you feel crazy. They will make you the bad guy even though your trying so hard to make it work. He’s the problem here not you. So many red flags. This all sounds too familiar. Leaving now is the best thing you could do for yourself.
Talk to her about it. Ask her advice. She probably knows him better than we do. Making friends with her is the best unless you think it’s an irredeemable situation and then get a lawyer.
You need to make a once and for all decision about what you deserve from a relationship and what this means you need from him eg respect. Love. Caring. If you decide that it’s ok for him to behave like he has then just shut up and put up with it. If not then walk away and find someone who is right for you.
Sorry. I would be gone. Without respect you have nothing. You are not in love you are scared. Put your big panties on and open your eyes. How would he react if the roles were reversed? Move on. Always gonna be a “girl” friend somewhere. Praying for you.
Him saying she is his best friend is bs. No man and woman can be best friends and not have something going on. I had someone whoninthought i knew very well. He kept saying they were just best friends. Needless to say i was convient for him at the time but he ended up stop talking and seeing me and married his so called best friend.
I would not be happy if my husband treats his friend better than me especially if he treats me like crap and treats her better I would have put up with that crap I would have put up with it
I have no idea what your situation is. Whether you have children or are a stay at home mom. If you’re restricted financially because of him. But I do know this. You should not put up with any of that. Life is way too short to wonder whether the person you love loves you as much as you love him. Divorce is hard. However, you can see this as an opportunity to love yourself and eventually find someone who loves you the same.
First of all his best friend should be you. He might have female friends, but he should not be talking about you to her. Where is his male friends? Thats bullshitt. Would he like it if you had a “best” Male friend ? Open your eyes go with your gut, because we women have a gifted intuition about what your man is doing.
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Unfortunately once this behavior starts and you let them get away with it…it continues. You will forever be wondering whats he doing?where is he?what is he saying about me. NO ONE DESERVES THAT!!! The fact that he is lying about what you haven’t said after the fact he had been basically cheating on you is a tell tale sign of more of what is to come. You deserve better.
I would say that trust in a relationship has to work both ways but that also if your husband loves you he should respect your wishes and understand where your coming from maybe suggest going out for coffee with him and this friend to see if this would help to mend the gap between you and your hubby and sit and really talk to each other about your feelings because your husband should also be your best friend and you should be able to talk to him with ease not to feel upset that will just cause anxiety for the both of you hope things work out for you both good luck take care .
When you’re married to someone or in a relationship, the guy having a girl or the girl having a guy for s best friend never works out. You’re better off being alone than being alone in a relationship
He’s just waiting for what he thinks is better to come along, resect yourself, if he doesn’t, you deserve better!
Why would he change or no his true feelings, when he’s got the both of you. Separate and see who he truly wants to be with.
This sounds like the story of my marriage. He was spending HOURS every single day talking to his female friend. I found out about it while looking at our phone bill, and I confronted him. He swears they were “just friends” and I wouldn’t have a problem with it if it were one of his male friends! Well, 6 years later and he is about to marry his “just friend”. It is so much easier said than done, but please, spare yourself the years of heartache that I subjected myself to and get out now.
Dump his ass. Its clear he has bigger feelings for his female friend. Is in all the signs he us giving you. He wants his cake and eat if too.
Meaning she is his mistress even ifvyhey are not dojng anything, which I personally think is bullshit. If he wasn’t doing anything withbher he would blow up and he would take your concerns and feeling into concideration.
#moveon
Give him an ultimatum do not let him treat you this way! If he doesn’t comply hightail it out of the relationship! Life is too short to be hurt and sad! Good luck🍀