He cheated bottom line. These are all red flags believe and trust your gut!
This is up to u all this it’s in your hands if think about it to much them u are the one that’s going to be dump think about it
Is his best friend a dog?
You flirt with him act like you have texted a wrong number don’t use your number and flirt with your husband. Sometimes things get boring it’s just something different to do.
It’s very telling when they get angry with you for something they did.
In my opinion… you’ve never had him…. He was always hers (the best friend)
If it takes someone else to make you happy, who really has the problem. ONLY you can make you happy!!!
Two can play the game. Sauce for the goose sauce for the gander. Dress up make up go out treat him indifferently ss if he’s not there pretend you don’t care. Get involved more with you do stuff for you and don’t self pity and wallow in it. A tip get closer to his ‘female best friend’ keep your friends close but your enemies closer…see then how he will turn…
RED FLAGS. He is flipping out because he is guilty of EMOTIONALLY cheating at the very least and we all know that leads to physical in most cases. Girl you need to lay down the rules ie boundaries or leave this marriage. How would he like your best friend to be Male and you be flirty with men on dating apps? This man is a boy and his bad moods are reserved for you not her. People treat you how you allow them to. If you loved yourself more and had self respect t you would not allow him or anyone go disrespect you. I was at your stage once and it isn’t easy but once you truly discover you don’t need a man but want him for the right reasons you will find an exclusive relationship. Right now there are 3 people in your marriage. Your husband has NO loyalty. You deserve much better than this bad habit of a man. I have a great Fiance he was a bit flirty but God forbid he has a female best friend bye bye boy!
Go on laugh your way to a better marrige by mark gungor. He has several books out and one serious/hylarious vidio . Mens brainswomens brains. And how to treat
your husband. Focus on being the one to change for the better. And do not expect your husband to do so. Work on you. First. Go to you tube type in mens brains womens brains
By Mark Gungor. Be open to what he says. I learned so much about myself. As to why I am the way I am. As well as how mens mind works (this is one big key) tat will unlock the mystery that we all are unaware of.
“we decided to work things out.”
Exactly, what kind of things did yall decide on working out?
“He hasn’t been flirting with anyone anymore”
That you know of most likely.
“and he’s been telling me if he wanted to be with someone else, he would be.”
He can be with you and other people too which is exactly what he was doing with the dating apps behind your back so him telling you this is him saying he has done it already and will do it more.
“Well, his best friend happens to be a woman, and I’ve seen the way he treats her and talks to her, and I wish he would do that for me.”
It’s easier and normal behavior to treat other people kinder, when theres no negative emotions connected to those people. As long as he has negative emotions connected with you, you’re not going to get the same treatment from him that he gives his best friends.
“But when I expressed this yesterday, he blew up at me and flipped out.”
This could be from how you approached him about it or that he just doesnt know what to say to you to help you understand why this is happening. Men are not usually good at communication skills.
“He’s been telling her all these things about me and saying I’ve said or done hurtful things to him”
That’s what having friends are for. To vent to. If he was telling YOUR friends these things that would be a different story but hes simply telling his own friend in confidence and you are pushing yourself into their text messages and conversations.
“I didn’t mean anything I said or did at all.”
Try to only say things you do mean. What did you say and do?
“Now today, it seems like things are looking up”
I see the trend that today seems fine, then it doesnt, then it does again. This isnt ok. You two need to put aside the anger and come to a mutual agreement.
“but I don’t know what to do to make him want to spend more time with me”
You dont do anything. A man gives his affection as he wills not because that’s what you want from him. If he isnt freely doing this for you it’s because it’s his choice. You need to figure out how to handle that without trying to change him.
“and pay me as much attention (if not more) as he gives his best friend without him getting mad and thinking I’m suggesting they’re sneaking around behind my back.”
Jealousy will always turn a man off.
“I love him too much, and I don’t want to lose him.”
Unfortunately, he doesnt feel this way about you.
Have a mature chit chat. Let him do the talking while you decide how to manage how you are going to feel when he says things you dont want to hear.
No amount of crying or yelling you do, he may not care. Make a plan and follow through with it.
So how long has this woman been his best friend? From childhood?
The fact that you said your ‘husband’ has been flirting on dating apps- uh, I’m thinking the best friend may be the LEAST of your worries
Love Yourself MORE & Walk Away!!! It’s Never going to change. Trust me, I learned the hard way. That’s 23 years of my life I can never get back. You teach people how to treat you by what you’re willing to except & not except. Boundaries Sweetie. If the person doesn’t have consequences for how they treat you, they think it’s Ok & you let him think it’s Ok. He doesn’t Respect You by doing what he’s doing. It’s Hard but you have to respect yourself & find your self worth. You Deserve Better!! A broken will heal, you stay he will continue to break your again & again.
Without Respect & Trust Love Can’t Exist.
WALK AWAY.
New hair new look. Make yourself look completely different.
Your husbands best friend should not be another woman.
I had a friend that told me. If thinking it. He probably is. My ex. Was selmer
Give that man his freedom. Gift wrap it with a divorce.
He may have closed the door time ago. It is a very bad sign but try anyway.
Cheaters never need an excuse to cheat but they will use a hundred excuses as to why YOU failed and how YOU are responsible for them cheating… You can be the best wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend you can be and still not satisfy a cheater… He sounds like he takes you for granted maybe yall need to separate if he loves you and decides to come back you can make and set some ground rules…if he decides hed rather stay separate its no loss to you you just lost an entire selfish ass baby… I caught my husband bad mouthing me to some chick in messages this was after I gave up my job to care for our son this was after I stayed awake all night with our son getting zero sleep cooking dinner for him which he always had something to complain about (he was a picky eater) doing our laundry and still being sexually available to him whenever he wanted it… It was such an insult and such a betrayal I ended it right there let him live with me until he got an apt and he moved out… Once a dude thinks its cool to bad mouth you after you sacrifice so much of yourself they will never appreciate you ever or respect you or even understand where you are coming from…at that point throw the whole man away… Im happier now with a guy who appreciates me and the sacrifices I make for us and our daughter we just had last sept… My ex still can’t find a girl willing to deal with his bs… Dont stay in a relationship that is one-sided… Know your worth you might think you love him but if it’s onesided is it even worth it? … You might find a man to treat you better or find peace within yourself and be happy being single
Is his friend married?
Maybe you could confide in his friend?
You don’t know what to do??? First, YOU SHOULD BE HIS BEST FRIEND!! I think that’s enough said. Let the evidence speak for itself!!
Well I see that I am not the only one that has this going on in my life. If I wanted everyone to know our business, I would post a bulletin on our front door.
See that front door. ??? Go thru it and find a safe place to go…a gift to you, for you, from you. You
DESERVE RESPECT, let him play his stupid game…you do know exactly what you should do. !!! Go visit a friend WHO lives out of STATE… breath in that self respect that you have temporarily lost. We teach PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US…TIME TO REVERSE WHAT YOU HAVE TRIED TO IGNORE AND ASK YOURSELF…" WHAT AM I AFRAID OF IF I LEAVE
You should be his best friend, period. Not some other female. Completely unacceptable.
Either this is a joke or you are the most nieve woman on the planet
I’m so sorry that this is happening to you. But, just the fact that you’re asking for advice means that you know what you need to do. It’s just really hard to do it. My heart is sad for you because I found myself in the same situation a few years ago. I tolerated it for 6 years before I decided I was worth so much more. You are too. Be tough. Stand tall and have courage. You will feel better when you no longer have to fear what he is or isn’t doing when you’re not there.
Walk away … you don’t need to feel that way … someone who’s loves you will love you just the way you are, and treat you like you deserve. I was in a 7 year relationship where he was horrible I and put up with his crap … thinking that one day he will be different … guess what ?? He never did
I found someone who loves me and treats me amazing and been with him almost 16 years
Pray for him, pray that he’ll love and please God with all his heart and then love you as he should. Be grateful, tell him thanks for all he does and love him anyway. Don’t bring up that friend, leave that relationship in the Lord’s hands. Miracles still happen.
Things aren’t going to get better only worse if you want to live with him stay
If not get yourself a good divorce solicitor
Leave
He doesn’t respect you. Start loving yourself, and it will all become clear. Hes abusive
Stop being a fool. And a doormat. Find yourself a backbone and get away from a bad situation. It’s not gonna get better. It takes two to make a marriage. Not one going overboard because you’re too afraid to take that first step and walk away from the degradation and humiliation. You deserve better than that.
You should be his best friend, you’re his wife!
Why stay with a man who doesn’t respect you
Leave! He is giving u no respect as a wife.
Find a private investigator, then make a choice to keep loving him or leave him.
You love the thought of him. The real him is a cheater.
That would suck.
I expect my Grubby (grumpy hubby😄) to speak of me the way I do of him behind his back. Highly respectful.
(Of course, to his face is different:rofl:)
I sure hope he does.
My mother in law told me before he is always touting my personality. Saying how “smart” I am and such (not book smart).
The verbal disparaging would be more hurtful to me because it’s intangible. If he speaks of me disrespectfully to others, it shows his lack of respect for our union.
Lose him and find someone who really wants to be with you.
Forget the title for tat!
You don’t treat anyone you love like that. You knowing every part of your body this isn’t what you signed up for .you can’t change people.
Put on your big girl panties and Get ot now!!! You don’t love him anymore either. Just don’t want to get into all the drama of leaving.
Get every thing you are entitled to and Get out!!!
H
I would rather be alone by myself than alone in a relationship
She doesn’t need a man like that
My philosophy has always been what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
Start the divorce proceedings. He will not change.
Shouldn’t have to beg somebody to love you…
There’s no respect I wouldn’t hang around you deserve better xx
oh stop.you know the answer. the answer that gives you dignity. toss him to the curb.
I doubt that’s his best friend??? She sounds more like your enemy
Once a cheater always a cheater. Like a jungle cat, 1 kill isn’t enough
In time he’ll want another
Keep your self respect and kick him to the kerb
leave his sorry as, how would he like it you had a male friend
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman & marriage counseling
State expectations. Listen to his expectations. If either one finds those expectations unacceptable- go separate ways.
Find someone who will tray you with respect.
You already lost him along the way. You never had him
Hes #Selfish
Now he loses you.
It has nothing to do with love
Its what he wants. You don’t matter…enough xo
Y’all need marriage counseling.Tell him he goes with you or I personally would say goodbye.If he cares enough about your relationship he will go.
If a married man gives more attention to supposedly a female friend than his wife he’s cheating
I’d find me a male best friend that talks to me like he does to her. Simple
He’s having an affair with her, get out now
Living with those thoughts will destroy you. You can do better.Talk to a marriage Counselor.
Where there is smoke there is fire! Nuff said
He’s playing you. Kick him to the curb.
That is cheating and he will continue to do that. I would leave him
First thing I’d do is get me a new best friend. With friends like that you need no enemies.
Kick him out of your life! I know it is hard to do.
You love him more than you love AND respect yourself?
Just leave him , you deserve much better, don’t walk on egg shells , you only get one life
Say bye……
Any man that doesn’t put you first doesn’t deserve the loyalty
Say bye
A woman can be best friends with a man, Aman can be best friends with a woman.
Change his cell phone # … if he gives it to her…clean out bank accounts and move on …
Bro… leave. This whole post is nothing but a giant red flag.
Do YOU love yourself More? Would you disrespect Yourself and Your vauls made before GOD? I don’t think so. YOU may love him BUT do you LIKE HIM?
Tell him dump the side chick or peace him out…u lov him tho? If he’s not loving u bk it’s not lov
Go to a marriage counselor. This does not belong on fb
I read this to my partner and his response … . mind you from his perspective … DIVORCE HIS ASS.
Lol
I would leave him. He’s going to keep hurting you.
No Man should speak or talk about his Wife in a Negative Way, Period…
People are their own worst enemies.
People can have real friendships with the opposite sex and everyone should have a friend to vent to but when in a relationship I think you should want your partner to know everyone who is important to you. Unfortunately, he’s gaslighting you and that’s not okay. You’re feelings are valid. I think if he didn’t have slight romantic feelings he’d want you to meet her asap so you’d get along. He’s not likely to get better for you if he doesn’t seem to think he’s doing anything wrong. HE messed up. HE should be trying to be a better partner. Not just you. I’d move on. You deserve better.
I’m sorry but that’s awful.
Married or serious relationships should never have friends of opposite sex period.
Don’t trust it.
They maybe be having a relationship behind your back.
Misplace aggression. He get ready to cheat. Been there all the signs
My husband and I were best friends for 10 years before getting together. Sometimes, you realize that you are the other woman. He should be with his best friend. If that’s not you, then you deserve to be with the man who is.
Dump him, he’ll never change, they never do!!!
Seek counseling from professional…not fb
Buy a horse! Start riding. Find a hobby. He’ll never change.
You aren’t the problem, he is
That’s one best friend would have to be a exfriend I don’t play that shit
He’s cheating. Not physically but emotionally. Y’all better get some counseling
Do yourself a big favor-LOSE HIM. You may love him but if you can’t see it then let me tell you-he doesn’t love you. Actions speak louder then words. His actions speak very loudly-just listen. Are you that desperate that you will let someone you love to treat you that way. He is disrespecting you, betraying you, emotionally cheating on you flirting on DATING websites-what part of that don’t you understand or see? Sorry if I offend you but I speak with honesty and straight forward and realistically.
He’s .moved on. You should too
You’ve already said that you loved him too much and that you don’t want to lose him so there’s not a whole lot you can do because you’re allowing him to treat you a certain way because you’re afraid of his reaction. To me, that is not love.
You have a real problem here you will never feel good about yourselve
Dump him, life is short,enjoy it!
You need a HERO not a ZERO!
This is why I am still single
Hes playing you. Move on fast!!
Believe me if he is getting excited over the things your saying,then he is guilty of something! The trouble is they want to turn it around and blame you, no matter what you say. Its got to be you who did it all by complaining and not letting it go. He’s going to do what he wants until you decide what you want. Good luck.
Maybe get rid of him would be an idea
Lose him,he,s not good enough for you!!!
U should have more self esteem , stop taking the shit.