Back in October my husband, kids, and I all went to the fair. He invited his friend and his wife. They started to drink which was no biggie. I’m okay with drinking a few. We ended up leaving the fair and going to their house because they wanted to drink some more. The kids were the first ones to fall asleep. All of us adults stayed awake drinking, dancing and chatting. My husband started to dance with his wife to try and teach me. So he says! I was the first adult to fall asleep & later the rest. The next morning my husband woke me our kids and I up to leave as if everything was fine and normal. A few months go by and I go to eat with my kids where he and that friend of his work. The friend asked if he could speak to me & I of course went to see what he had to say. Never did I imagine what I was about to hear come out of his mouth. While everyone was sleeping that night at their house my husband walked up stairs into his friends wife’s room and tries kissing her & said that they didn’t have to tell anyone. He was rejected by her. Mind you I didn’t find out until months later. My husband never once acted like anything had happened that night & even went to their house not long after to apologize to her. He now doesn’t want our kids and I eating at his job because it makes him feel uncomfortable. We’re pretty much paying for his mistake. My kids always ask to go eat and I always have to come up with some off the wall excuse. I’m just at a loss for words. A word of encouragement would be appreciated!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband tried kissing his friends wife: Advice?
Find a better husband. If he tried it while drunk he will try it again on someone else. He clearly isn’t faithful
Don’t make your kids lose something they enjoy because your husband is a jerk!
The fact he doesn’t want you eating at his work sounds fishy.
That is not okay. It doesn’t sound like a “mistake” he repents of, it sounds like a choice he made and he’s likely to make again. Why is he uncomfortable with you at work? That makes no sense to me unless he’s afraid someone else will tell you more things he’s been casually hiding…
I’m so sorry.
Time for real talk!!!
Take the kids to eat where they want to go. He screwed up. And you may find out more about other flings with customers or coworkers.
Don’t deprive your children of eating out where they love because your husband was a berk and made a move on his friends wife .
Wow. You and your husband need to have a serious talk and maybe seek a marriage counselor. You can’t let this be and just ignore it
Show up at his work at lunchtime with the kids to force him to get over it and get back to normal or he’s up to something
Oh hell nah. He cheated hun. He’ll be sleeping with someone next. So imo he’d be gone
I’m find a more loyal husband… yours has no morals
don’t stop because HE feels uncomfortable! tough doo doo
He apologized to her but never even told you what happened and apologize to you? Hmmm, that’s odd.
Walking into someones bedroom in the night while they’re asleep uninvited sounds like a creep to me .
I would wonder what else may come out that you don’t know about. I think I would catch him alone and ask him. Watch his reaction closely. You’ll be able to tell if he lies to you. It may be time to get rid of this guy.
It’s probably not the first time .and I’m sure not the last
Oh I’d take them there every chance I got just to spite him.
Question is will you ever trust this man again knowing what he was trying to do? I say tell him to hit the road!
Id be asking why neither one told you for months doesn’t seem very loyal on either of their parts. And on top of that id be asking why your presence all the sudden makes him uncomfortable. If he doesn’t want to be seen with you or your kids there’s a reason why. A real man would be proud to have his family come join him so he can show his beautiful family off.
Sounds like he he hiding something & doesnt want to be seen with a wife an kids…
Move on …
Thats alott u are going through with him.
A proper respectful man wont treat his wife an kids in that manner…
Have you confronted him yet? What did he say?
Pretty bold. I’m guessing maybe not his first time being unfaithful. If he doesn’t want you at his work, I’m going to guess there’s one or more chicks there he’s cheated (or tried) with.
Don’t give him second chances. That is the move of many sad wives who held out to long for men that didn’t truly love them.
I’d say marriage counseling asap or divorce. Any other compromise will just lead to more cheating and more lies to hide it from you.
Nah , you can’t be serious … he apologises to her but not to you? You now have to hide so he feels better . Fuck that and fuck him . You deserve WAAAAAAAAAAAY better . And I emphasize WAAAAAAAY BETTER!
I’m not sure what the answer is here but this is not ok. Did he blame this on the alcohol? Even if he was drunk, I think I would still have a major problem with this. This kind of behavior either leads to more like it or usually means there’s been more in the past that you don’t know about. You and the kids should in no way be paying for his mistake. I think I’d tell him we need to separate for a while because he needs to know how serious this is and you won’t stand for it. I’ve been in a similar situation before. This kind of thing doesn’t usually get better. Mine didn’t. We divorced. Hate this for you
Your kids shouldn’t have to miss out because your husband made a jerk move!!
I’m not sure if it makes your husband or the other guy uncomfortable but neither one is your kids problem and they shouldn’t have to suffer because of an adults actions
Just leave the dude he isn’t even worth the effort
Go anyway! Your husband can suck it up and deal with it, why should everyone but him have to deal with the fall out of his behaviour
It isn’t the first time he did thos, and won’t be the last. Being drunk is no excuse whatsoever
Sounds fishy to me, maybe try counseling but from my own experience it usually progresses. I didn’t find out most of the bs my ex did till I kicked him out… People can be so sneaky… sounds like he can’t be trusted…
I encourage you to leave him
There are no encouraging words for all of those red flags. Leave is the only form of encouragement you should need. He doesn’t want you around because who knows who else he is kissing at his job
He does that and then he makes the rules on where you can and can’t eat because he’s uncomfortable? I’m sorry but shouldn’t you be the one uncomfortable with what he did… let his ass burn and continue going there, it’s not up to him and he doesn’t make make the rules … don’t let him start to✌🏼
Screw his uncomfortable feelings. I wonder how many others he’s tried that with if he’s ballsy enough to try and kiss his friends wife in their own home
Good reason to stop drinking
Don’t think alcohol is a good idea for him. Men don’t talk…so is very, very uncomfortable for him. Have him promise to cut back on his drinking!!!
Oh boy. Hes definitely unfaithful. Only you know if you can deal with that or not. Personally…I’d leave.
see ya wouldn’t want to be ya…he has to go!!!
Eat wherever you want to he is your husband not boss he is the one that can’t handle is alcohol and tried kissing another mans wife
Perhaps you should all give up drinking alcohol!!! Sounds evil.
Personally, I don’t think she rejected him. She told her husband that to alleviate her own guilt because if your husband’s advances offended her that much that night she would have said something THAT night and all hell would have broken loose. He’s a liar. You should make an appointment with your gynecologist to get checked out. Next stop should be a divorce attorney to file for divorce, child support, and alimony (if your state allows).
You better go and make him uncomfortable, because he made you among other things, uncomfortable. Actions have consequences, and you and the kids do not have to deal with it.
He feels uncomfortable, the audacity. ￼
Does he know you know? Sounds like he’s trying to keep you away from his friend not knowing you where already told.
Just think how far he would have went if she allowed him to kiss her, he probably went up there to do more than kiss her. And it is sad that he apologized to her but never even told you and gave you an apology! If you can forgive him and get over it I would sure be eating at his job with the kids whenever we want too!
Not your problem drunks do stupid shit, can you forgive his stupidity, will you ever trust him? Life is to short to be unhappy and you only get a short time to choose.
and it’s between Your Husband and His EX Friend. Do not be uncomfortable especially infront of your children in a Business establishment The Dude can go get another JOB if he can’t handle it. It’s NOT YOUR FAULT. F’em both they don’t have real man balls those are earned
Pack all his crap up and say peace out Drinking is no excuse, he didn’t even feel bad enough say something to you.
I would bet money that this isn’t the first occasion that he tried something like this - not necessarily with her but with others. He covered pretty well and that is suspect. If she hadn’t shut him down, you would never have known. Cheating is kinda like seeing mice in your home - for every one mouse you see, there are more that you haven’t. …and keep taking your kids out to eat there - and watch your hubby sweat.
I guess it’s up to you how you want to handle things. What would the end result have been if they had slept together? Would he have continued a relationship until he couldn’t get away with it anymore? If you choose to stay and not address the situation that’s your choice however it very likely more of that stuff will occur. Good luck.
You have bigger issues than restaurant choice.
That’s too bad for him if he feels uncomfortable with yous around. Eff him. Either he suck it up, like you seem to be doing because of his fk up or show him the door
Leaving is easier said than done! If this was his first time, I would try to make sure he hasn’t cheated… but alcohol makes people do stupid stuff and maybe he could promise to quit… I would try to make it work, then if it doesn’t, leave
Stop catering to this man and live your life. If he didn’t want to trash your relationship dynamic, he wouldn’t have.
We would be having a long talk and I also would be eating there whenever I want if he is uncomfortable tough he made his bed
Ughhhh yea no he would be single the day i found out
Absolutely make his life hell!! Do not make this easy for him !! at all second I would lose all trust in him that’s a hard pill to swallow because of what he said
Nah dumb him keep the restaurant. He’s a unfaithful cheater and a liar
So here’s the thing…sounds as if he has pretty much 2 drink. Everything including our thinking & judgements if that was the only time…when under the influence I wouldn’t worry about it
Red flag:cn:not d first time:see_no_evil:
Why can’t you eat there?? Because HE says Don’t let your husband that F’d up, control the situation…Pull up your big girl pants and tell him to go F him!! Did he have his friend quit his job because he should be uncomfortable around the friend who’s wife he kissed… Don’t tell him and take your children there to eat!! Ignore him and have a nice time with your children. STOP letting him control when it was HE who messed up, not you and your children!! Tell him if he wants to continue this attitude you will tell the children what he did and why they can’t go there…right in front of him!!! I’d be Got damn…
I would eat there every day!!!
Drunk or not… he consciously went looking for her, made the move, and then later went back and apologized to her because he didn’t want it told to you…. She turned him down, if not things would have went a lot farther… his friend is a better guy then he is cause at least he had the decency to let u know your husband is a cheater. This will happen again
I think you need to have a long discussion about it all with your husband, it’s not good enough!!! As for you and the kids staying away from his work, I would raise that in the discussion and tell him that that’s not going to happen.
Sounds like something else is going on.
Why can’t you go and eat there ? …your hubby might tell you that it’s no big deal but it is because he went looking for her for sex .who else has he " gone looking for " .
In my mind (which is not the truth)
- this is the first time he tried that
- he doesn’t want you guys at work because something’s happening at work
Boo hoo he dont own the restaurant you guys can go any time to eat there or talk to his supirior about how his acting
The fact that he said no one has to know huge red flag if she didn’t reject him who knows how far it could have went
You have much bigger issues with your husband than this. He doesn’t want you at his job because he knows you’ll find out more. Time to be done sis. You deserve better.
He made his bed, he can lie in it. You shouldn’t suffer because of it. Continue as you wish.
Go there as much as you want, he don’t want you to find out how shady he is. He tried kissing her but wanted to do more than that. I definitely couldn’t forgive that. Drunk actions are sober thoughts usually, so hes definitely attracted to her…
I would still go there and I would also be leaving .
Forget it and remember alcohol is the boss and causes everything from death to broken families
Honestly the only word of advise I have for you is… leave. He is a cheater. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
If hes brazen enough to do that with a friends wife, just imagine what would happen with a stranger or possibly another coworker which would explain why he doesn’t want you&the kids there… honestly imo its unforgivable
Oh I’d go eat everyday as I was waiting on paperwork for him to sign
Screw him being uncomfortable. Go there all you want. And make him suffer!
Ugh. Thats disgusting. Alcohol is no excuse for being a cheater. Or a piece of trash.
Do what’s right for you. Take care of you and your kiddos.
It’s so hard to have trust after being embarrassed over your husband’s actions.
Is his place of work where he picks up other women?
Or he doesn’t want you around his friend?
Anyways, eat there if you want to. He has some audacity to try to tell you that you can’t.
Leave the dirt bag and eat where you want to
That is really sucky. He doesn’t want you at his job because he doesn’t want people to know you. Sounds like he has intimacy issues. Counseling is the best option but many don’t do that. They’ll talk big game but end up finding an excuse.
WOW. So for months he just went about like nothing is wrong. Didn’t fess up to you and you had to find out from the friend, doesn’t sound like he tried to apologize and even if he did…waaaaaay too late. He only feels uncomfortable because he got caught. There is not even guilt there. This is not the first time and won’t be the last. Trust me…I did this rodeo with my ex. Then to essentially punish his wife and kids by asking them to no longer eat at the restaurant he knows they enjoy eating at??? Fck him. Not literally…personally I wouldn’t touch him again. Don’t even believe the “I WaS DrUnK” bs either. You don’t do things you normally wouldn’t. Your inhibitions drop and you are more likely to act on what you want to do or already do. Example…my boyfriend and I go 4 wheeling with friends. At times there can be about 50 to 60 people and we camp out. At night we cook massive amounts of food and drinks flow freely. One time my boyfriend and his friends got a bit carried away with shots of some super duty drink from Guatamala. He got up and went to get a pack of cigarettes out of his truck. Suddenly I hear his voice raised and angry and a woman was standing in front of him and looked like she was about to cry. So I go over there and apparently she had grabbed his arm and tried to run her fingers down his back. He was yelling at how trashy that was. How disrespectful it was to me and him especially since he had introduced me as his girlfriend so she knew he is in a relationship and I mean he verbally tore her apart and when he saw me he made her apologize to me. I had never seen or heard him raise his voice like that or sound so angry because he is always so laid back and quiet. All I could do was . Never ever believe the lie that it was the alcohol. Go eat there as much as you and the kids want and get those divorce papers going. It will be the best thing you ever did. My boyfriend till this day will find groups of friends to ride with where that woman isn’t and when we do run into them he makes sure she keeps a respectful distance. That is what a respectful good man is about. No matter how much or how little he drinks.
If he can tell the other chic sorry ur sorry should have came 1st fuck him n his feelings he wasn’t thinkin bout u n those kids that night if it were me I’d leave n who’s to say he hasn’t found a side piece at work by now n thays prob y he doesn’t want the fam there ma’am please use ur head n not ur heart I know it’s not easy when lil kids r involved best of luck to ya hun
You can do so much better. You think you’ll never move on but you will and do it for your kids. Their mental health and your own is what’s most important. Your husband doesn’t deserve nothing more than to pay child support
Take your kids if you want. Just don’t go to that friend’s house.I would honestly leave the husband. Drunk actions were sober thoughts acted upon.
Sounds like my now exhusband. He worked at gas station near us and of course our daughter wanted to see dad. At first he was fine then flip of a switch we couldn’t come in while he worked. About a month later I left work early cuz I got sick. Came home to him and a customer half naked in my bed. To find out she was coming into his work for months. I gave him second chance, bad mistake. 2 weeks later gun in his hand looks at me and says ‘i so wanted to put a pillow over your head last night and shoot you.’ Packed a bag and loaded up daughter and left. He remarried a year later to another customer he was messing with.
Ya his guilty pleasures (conscience) are making him uncomfortable…my guess is the alcohol makes promiscuous behavior…obviously her rejection of him showed good character…if possible forgive and absolutely do not be around those who indulge in drinking so much again. It depends on the age of the kids whether you explain this situation and behavior. If he could apologize to her, then he can also humble himself to the kids by confessing…and welcoming you to continue to eat together where he and his friend work.
Where was , the wife he tried to kiss, husband? He went to his wives room? Where was her husband…just curious … did I miss something?
Leave your cheating @$$ husband
You tell him to fu€k off. If he’s going around with that secret acting normal this isn’t the first time he’s attempted it or even succeeded possibly with another woman.
I wonder how many times this has happened and was successful he seemed pretty confident to walk up stairs to her room with his family in the house and her husband/ his friend WTH? No
How many times has he done this? How many times do YOU know of? One? He’s doing this every chance he gets. I know you asked for a word of encouragement, but the only word I can use to encourage you is: LEAVE. You’re better off with someone who’s not tryna stick his tongue in another women whenever you’re not looking.
Worked in restaurants for 30 years.Had a manager who was married,but slept with multiple servers over the years.(2 different marriages).So this guy probably nailed a few coworkers and doesn’t want her to figure it out.
Leave him. He wanted to do it sober just didn’t have the balls. And he never even told you when everyone else knew. He doesn’t want you coming in because there’s more you don’t know and he doesn’t want anyone to have the opportunity to access you and tell you.
Your own husband doesn’t feel comfortable with his own wife and children eating at a public place because he drank too much and tried to do things to another woman that rejected him!? I’d wonder what else he is hiding. Obviously at this point I think it was the excessive drinking and would advise never to drink to excess and sleeping over at another’s house either u less it’s just the two of you but yet you have children. I know you’re adults but when you have children in order to be safe getting drunk even at your own home is a safety concern. But anyway I don’t understand his uncomfortbility for what his enebrated actions? Because of this I would wonder what else he’s hiding from you since he’s not even the one that confessed and it took months for this woman to finally tell you. I’d let him know his secret keeping is uncomfortable with you and you’ll do as you please since he has no conscience or concern for you and his own families well being and his actions show it.
He’s the one who messed up so why should your kids pay for it. I’d take them and tell him it’s his issue and not yours. If he didn’t try and kiss her then not even tell you then it’s his problem to deal with. Don’t let his mistakes mess with you and your kids it’s just not worth it and also why should you lie to them about why you can’t go there.
I’d be getting a divorce & draining the bank account
First time he was caught… not the first time he’s done something like this. Guarantee that.
So he tried to cheat and it makes him feel some type of way when his own kids come and eat with him: oh no. You’re bigger than me. I woulda left him.
Fuck that. You and your kids don’t have to live in the shadows of his shame. Eat wherever you want to eat.