Financial abuse. Leave. Or you could get a job and start getting your own things but they’ll have a problem with that . The mother is toxic and if he’s not willing to think for himself, what’s the point in being with him?
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Can you say control freak? I’m also a stay at home mom and we have a joint bank account and I have my own bank account. We have it set up so that part of his paycheck is direct deposit to my bank account and that’s like my allowance to use to buy groceries and anything leftover I get to spend on myself. He made sure the amount he chose to give me is plenty enough so I always have money to spend on myself. We had a discussion before setting it up about how much I would need for groceries every month and then added a few hundred extra. The joint account is used for paying bills, large household purchases, gas for the cars, and whatever he wants to buy himself. I also have access to his account whenever, but I always ask before using that card if I’m wanting something thats more expensive than what I have saved up in mine. He almost always says yes when I want something…
Sorry … he/they are controlling you. Never give up your freedom or your power/dignity. Leave.
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That’s messed up to me. If he’s been like this all along I don’t see him changing for you.
You have two options 1) live with the fact that this is your life now, or pull up your big girl paints, open your own account, have the baby bounce put into that account, get a job for now, and figure out what you want to do with your life for a career.
Thats disgusting… so basically if you need anything personal like lady products or just want to buy something but not let everyone know about it you have to run it past him and his mum? Thats controlling! Your in a relationship with him not his mother. And if he cant man up and make decisions for himself when he’s a grown adult, and keeps running back to mummy, then i would leave. Thats a toxic relationship thats not going to end well! If hes grown enough to have kids with you then hes grown enough to make decisions! He can at least give you an allowance! xx
Then he can go and f*** his mother. Smh.
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Leave! You’ll be okay, LEAVE
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Leave him.it will never get better been there
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Get a job! Why are you depending on a man for money! Ask ur mother in law to watch your children and get out there. Ngl I can’t stand seeing women like this, don’t be helpless!
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Financial abuse. My ex did the same thing. I was a stay at home mom as well. I divorced him and he was ordered to pay my court fees on top of child support for 4 kids. Plus my living expenses. Best thing I ever did. Goodluck to you.
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Maybe hes concerned about finances and embarassed to talk to you about it. It could be abuse but mental health should be considered as well.
Im actually just fresh out of a situation like this and i would gladly speak with you through message about my experiemce and offer any advice i can.
Mama boys don’t change… you knew how close the where before, that dosent change after marriage.
Pack your bags and go far far away
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I agree with everyone else…you need to get out that is not a marriage…hes controlling and you and your child/children do not need that
There’s nothing to do but leave. You deserve someone who will shower you with the world
I think I would rather go live with my parents then 
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So you should start your own bank account
Just tell him you want your name on that bank account and if he doesn’t trust you that’s his problem
Uh get a new husband … this one is broken or needs factory reset
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Have you looked into online gigs? Doing small jobs from home?
Check out a app called Steady.
It has jobs you can do from home.
Or There are also driving jobs. One being door dash.
Did you know you can rent a car to do this job? You might be able to get a weekday rental for around 20$. Get a eco cheapest car they offer. (Better on gas too) you can bring the baby! You can sit at home until you get a order you want to do!
I hope you can start to make your own money. Don’t give him access to it. Save up. Find your worth. Decide what to do.
I’m not sure I’d tolerate this relationship. Seems controlling. This is why you need to make the move to start your own cash flow!
You can make money off pictures of your feet. I’m not kidding. You can money off dumb stuff! Start making your own and let him watch you glow up! He’s not a man. Shouldn’t have to ask for money for milk.
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get a job n don’t give him ur $ 
oh n also leave. fuck that
Get a job. Why do so many people rely on others to take care of them? Ya divorce him and live off him like another lady who commented did. Thats terrible and you should be ashamed of yourself for using your children to live off someone. Grow the fuck up and be a mom get a job take care of your damn self your an adult
Bye bye done that never again. I stay home with our child husband works he gives me his bank info so I can get stuff so yea he being control and for that mother in law good luck
My first husband kept the finances from me. I didn’t even know he had bought land and was building a house. Think of this question…“do you want to be in this situation when you are 80years old”. Be important to this universe and not a second rate person to hubby and family.
Why did you sign on?
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Ewwwww. He is a grown man. Time to get off Mama’s teet.
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I would leave him my other half provides me with everything because I stay home and look after our children he wouldn’t dream of being like that it’s not a fair on you
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My question to you is, who does your husband sleep with you or his mother? If your husband likes sleeping with you. I don’t thing you ask for these things at the right time, when a woman wants something special, , she will ask at night in bed.
This is a time when she has his full attention !
Is there a reason they don’t trust you with money such as being irresponsible previously. Either way it’s not his moms business. Tell him if he’s not going to treat you like a respectable wife then you will put the kids in daycare which he can then pay for also and you will get a job so you can have your own money. I could never allow a man to control me like that.
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Time to start looking for work and getting independent. When he asks why you let him know you are tired of being treated like a child, not being trusted and takimg a back sweat to his mother.
Say I need to be independent of someone who don’t even reapect me or my wants and needs over his mothers. . not a healthy relationship.
Forge the paperwork!!!
Take it all😁
First thing is to tell mother in law to mind her on business.
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Leave him and go to lawyer and make him pay child support and spousal support. That will hopefully make him not treat women like garbage.
Did you know this before you married him? Because this is absolute bull! What are you a child that earns an allowance for finishing your chores? Often times my husband or I will go to get out bank cards (separate accounts) and either his is in my wallet or mine is in his wallet and we often don’t realise until we go to pay for something lol
No way. I lit will never change. Get out as fast as you can. Life is too short. You are not living in a situation that is not normal. Let him be mommy’s boy and find a man that can take care of you . Most of all my mom gave me good advice “Get an education “ and don’t Rely on any man.
That’s financial abuse and it’s a punishable crime.
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My ex did same thing I ended up leaving I wasn’t happy and it got worse my now husband I take him to work so I have the car all I have to do now is say hey I need to go shopping can you leave the card and he does no questions asked because he trust that I’m just taking care of the family and if I just want to go to my friend’s or my moms he doesn’t care and gives me gas money honey I went to domestic violence for victims classes and groups and giving an allowance is financial abuse my ex was emotionally financially abusive he wouldn’t let me leave the house wouldn’t let anyone over I felt so isolated I couldn’t even go into a store by myself because once someone hit on me even though I told the guy I was taken he didn’t trust me in my opinion I think you need to leave
THIS IS ABUSE, you NEED to LEAVE. what grown man allows his mother to dictate for him? You are not a child and he does not treat you like a respectable wife. You need to let him know this is a you and him relationship and it’s time to get off the tit. And if he can’t do that you just need to reach out to a shelter and take the kids. They will help you.
Would you want a man to treat your daughter this way. I sure as h*** would not. I would beat the crap put of my daughter’s mother in law.
The key ingredient to any relationship is trust. He isn’t going to change as long as his mother is involved. It doesn’t matter if it is you or another woman because she is abusive. She wants all the power. You either need to step your game up and show them that isn’t going to happen by all means necessary. Or you just need to learn to deal with it. YOU are ALLOWING this to happen. It’s not fair or right to you. If he doesn’t want you to have access to the bank account then he needs to at least venmo you money or something so you can feel secure.
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You just did you don’t want a life like that.
First: get a job. Second: leave and don’t come back until he agrees to change.
Third: be prepared to leave again and make sure he knows it.
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Did you forget to discuss any of the arrangements of your marriage before you did it? This will only get worse. Leave. But let me guess…you have 3 kids? Bless your heart.
Didnt you know that before you married him…
Get a job buy a car so him
It’s a form of abuse, he’s making it so that you cannot be independent, either you two agree to be transparent and work through it or you consider what life would be like separated. (I’m not saying you don’t love him or anything, just that this is not right, you need to know and be financially involved).
Nothing. You should RUN
Get a life…is this what you “signed” up for??? To be controlled n manipulated…to be forced to stay home. If you want a car…get a job…
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Same exact situation and it doesnt get easier. Leave. Literally! I wound up in the situation where he walked out and left. Had no idea he stopped paying bills and rent, so I got stuck with the eviction and shut off notices and no money. No job due to being a stay at home mom. Cant find a job cuz no one wants to hire the pregnant lady. It has literally been hell. Please please please come up with a plan and leave before it gets worse for you!!
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Uhhh Beat her up . Lol jk. I dont have nothing besides , leave . 
I would tell him he shoulda married his mommas ass of he wants to listen to her .
This is bullshit. No way I’d live like that. We get one life. That’s it. I’ll not live mine under the thumb of a controlling man and his asshole of a mom. Naw.
Umm. Maybe get a job? Get your own car and your own bank? Why are you solely relying on your husband? 
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He is definitely controlling you…in every aspect. Insist on counseling so that he may have a tiny chance to see that he is abusive.
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How does she get a job if she doesn’t even have a car???
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Definitely doesn’t sound like an equal partnership. Also when your significant other talks about you with other people that’s not a good sign
This cos u r vulnerable and the devil is rejoicing
Go to couples counseling. This is not acceptable. It is financial abuse.
Did you not discuss finances or staying home before you married? Tbh I am all for sahms but in your situation I would start looking for a job since you have no money and despite being married clearly its not YOUR money but only his.
Get job and get your own acct
I understand. I have 2 children. When I finally left my controlling and abusive husband it was hard. You literally have to start over again. Idk your situation but I was lucky enough to have a very supportive family to fall back on so I could get to my feet again. It’s going to be scary and will take a while to feel like your really succeeding but you can do it. You just have to really be ready to leave. It won’t work out till you are. Ppl don’t understand unless they have been in our shoes. He is what you know, and it’s kinda like a comfort net. It’s not a good net but you have learned to live with it. The world of being a single mom is tough and paved with self doubt but you can do it honey! I and many single moms believe in you. Idk how old your children are but just make a plan. Yes, an escape plan. I didn’t. I saw my chance to leave and finally ran. If I can do it you can honey. I’m sending my prayers and hope to you. Stay strong and don’t let ppl that are being judgy on here affect you. They don’t know your story. It’s ok to be scared but you can do it
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Get out! Anyone who thinks it’s ok to control someone else like that is sending up huge danger signs. Get a job, get a car, and get your own bank account. No one should be at the complete mercy of someone else like that!
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I don’t have access to my OH’s bank account, that’s his as my bank account is mine 
Get a job if you want to buy things 
at the end of the day, he’s the one earning the money, he deserves to know where its going.
I’m a SAHM and I work when I can to help give us some spending money as my OH covers all our food and bills.
We’re a team and we support each other.
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I would find a business that is within walking distance of your house and get a job there. Save your money, buy a car and leave. It’s never going to get better, it will only get worse.
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Sounds like you need to get a night time job. He can stay home with the kids and you work an overnight job so you can get on your feet. Does he not allow you to use the car either? If he allows you to use the car you get a night time job. Save up your money for a vehicle of your own. Once you have your own vehicle then you work in saving money or find someone to watch the kids who are cheaper than daycare. You start working during the days.
When you don’t have access to money you start acting like a single mom. When you start working if he tells you to pay the bills then he’s trying to keep you under his thumb and keep you from your own success. He can’t make you pay for anything, so don’t. He’s paying all the bills just fine.
You may have to use public transport, is there not a neighbour, a family member of your own that can assist you.
Stress how unsafe that is. If there were an emergency, you need a bank card. Or just go get your own job. Maybe babysit from home? Them have your own income. If all else explain that things wont work in your marriage if theres no trust, especially with finances. Your mil did not marry you, he did. So he needs to act accordingly.
Leave … hes controlling and holding you back
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That’s controlling… and it’s sad that his mother is condoning it. You’d think as a woman she would see that that’s not okay… maybe put herself in your shoes. I’d just leave. You’re helping your family by sacrificing yourself to stay home with your children so they won’t have to go to daycare… it’s expensive. And that’s how you’re repaid. I’d just leave.
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Maybe you can get a job where you work at home and make your own money
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Go to JUSTNOMIL ON REDDIT
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Tell your husband that his mommy doesn’t get to have an opinion on your marriage.
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Your job is a SAHM, and you are entitled to half in a divorce and child support so either he stops the financial abuse, OR you get half.
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Not a good situation. His mom needs to stay out of their business.
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That’s a no for me dawg.
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So
My husband is a mamas boy
My boys are gonna be mamas boys
So let’s start by saying this doesn’t matter if he’s a mamas boy or NOT.
This is control and you are allowing it!
Get a job make your own money tell him you want it 50/50 or your out!
This makes me angry, wait till he go to bed at night when u think he sleeping, take a cooy of his bank card matter affect all the cards and the security code when u buy urself open a bank accoun and make sure u transfer a good amount to your account, and go to the post office get a p.o.box and have all ur mail go there in the meanwhile girl go shopping treat urself every week, but u have to be creative and find a nice room or make sure u have a place, when he leave to work move out all ur things, and good shopping again and empty the card man like that u have to teach them a lesson, lord forgive me
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Sounds like a control issue
This is insane… my BF and I live together… we both work so I have my own money, but… we give each other our cards all the time. Its no issue at all. I would have to leave him.
I used to do the same . Run now
This is ridiculous, my bf and I share a bank account and we have our own cards. This is just financial abuse and it’s rough especially for a sahm. I would work and while he’s sleeping make a copy of his card (writing down all the numbers on it) slowly transferring money to your bank account. Or just get a job and divorce him causing him to really lose money because you are entitled to half more than half if you got a good lawyer and child support
Well I haven’t clue what to tell you as I only heard your side of the story. You could be angry and exaggerating and maybe you’re telling the truth I don’t know. but what I find amazing is that you’re putting it on Facebook for all the public to see. That is definitely not how to treat a marriage. If you need advice go talk to someone you know or go to a counselor. Didn’t you notice how many different opinions there were about this situation, that we really haven’t got the complete story on. How do I know maybe you waste money but then again maybe you don’t I don’t know because I don’t know you or your husband or your mother-in-law.
Not good , I lived like that,he is controlling u,get out!!
My throat is closing up just reading this!
Leave him sounds like you don’t trust you
Get a job, make your own money
LeAve and take half of everything and alimony/child support!!
AMARRIAGE IS BECOMING ONE UNDER GODS EYES. Tell him bye ! Hes selfish and listens to mommy tooooooo much. Baby hubby needs to live with his mommy. It will only get WORSE so ask him to leave if he wont …move on…I really wang you to have a GOOD LIFE.
This is abuse plain and simple. He is controlling you by controlling the money and vehicles… you should look for a part time job working opposite shift as your husband
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Have u did anything in the past for him not to trust u
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You leave him, then he can pay you child support for your “allowance”
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Well if I were in your shoes I’d tell him to either add me to his account and give me my own debit card to it OR he can pay child support for the next 18+ years, pay for his attorney and possibly yours, and most likely be required to give you half of everything you guys own. And that’s exactly how I’d tell it too. What he’s doing is abuse. I’d also ask him when he plans on getting off his mommy’s tit bc it seems its long overdue. If he won’t give in I’d just leave. There are programs out there to help you get on your feet if you don’t have family to help you.
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He is a control freak.RUNRUNRUN
Leave if “his mom always wins” guess it’s time to break up with your husband and mother in law.
Apply for a job and have super mom watch the kids. Or start billing your husband for childcare when he’s not home.
Seriously though, get out.
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Thats awful and it sounds like a way to control you.
This Is TERRIBLE. I am also a SAHM and have been for two years. My husband has always been then one to work and guess what? We have a joint bank account that both of us have access too and our own cards to it. I can spend money anytime I want. I don’t ask before purchasing things but I do let him know (I feel like its respectful and he does the same even though it’s his money). That is seriously so toxic babe. If he wont come around but you dont want to leave him your best bet is to get a part time job and work the hours he’s off so he can watch the baby (if not you’ll literally only be working to pay for a baby sitter). My heart hurts for you
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Leave his ass, he’s controlling you!! It’ll only get worse!!! And I’d tell bitch MIL to butt the hell out!!
get a job, then LEAVE. life is too short to be married to someone like that.
Get a job. You can make your own money while being a sahm.
Leave him . he will get worse as the years go on .
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Emotional abuse. Leave now. It is just going to get worse. They want u to rely on them for everything. Be completely dependent on them. Narcissistic personality traits he has
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This is how it was with my ex husband. Notice I said ex. You need to leave him.
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Its financial abuse and he is holding it over your head to control you. That is not okay! His mother also should have no say what so ever in your relationship, I’m close to my kids as well, but I know my place when it comes to their relationships. I’d get a job and make your own money, do not let him control you like that. Life is too short, you cannot be without a way to even buy medication for your children if needed.
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Wow… ask him why he married you, if he cannot trust you… His mom needs to step away from your marriage or she will destroy it.
If it were me, I would look into finding a job and if he asks why, tell him its because I’m tired of his shit. And give him all of the expenses that he would have to pay for child care. Better yet, he can talk to his mom about caring for the children where he can pay her an allowance.
Oh dear, that’s a BIG problem You need to sit down with him & ask him why. And if he can’t or doesn’t answer you. You really need to rethink your life & marriage with him
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