He has another family
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08:00am-03:00am Monday to Sunday?
Seriously! Wake up!
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Darling he’s not working
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He’s a cheater…flat out! Sorry but it’s the truth. The only thing you can do if you want him to change at all is become totally dependent on him and by that I mean that your not even capable of taking care of the kids. Pick up an addiction be it gambling shopping drugs alcohol whatever you think will work and stick to it. And if you find you cant do that start socking away money in a account just for you. And then start checking out dating sites because girl I’m telling you you’ve already lost him so you might as well get the most you can out of him. And dont be the loser. Move on before he even has a chance to know what’s going on. Remember he started this by cheating and breaking every vow and your heart. Just look at what everyone is saying…can you honestly not believe what I’m telling you. Take care of you first then the kids will follow. I wish you all the best. You can PM me if you want to. Just remind me of who you are by saying something like advice on fb because I never do this I’ll know who you are. Good luck.
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I feel like some men use the ‘provider’ role as a reason to opt out of being a hands-on parent or at least picking up the slack. I’m so so sorry. You definitely need a break.
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I’d put a tracker on his ass.
But, I know the feeling of being home ALL DAY AND NIGHT with 3 kids… I bathe with my 2 yr old, cook with her on my hip, poop with her by my side, sleep with her, run errands with her, it’s literally 24/7.
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Christine Viña Brown read this and the comments lmao i can’t some are funny Barbara Franklin
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Y’all are TRASH WOMEN. maybe. Just maybe he’s working long hours to provide for his family… so she can stay home with their kids. 
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You need to tell him "l need you to do this for me. Men are fixers. Its the way you phrase things. The two of you need a date night also. You have too take care of your relationship also. If he cannot give the time, maybe hire a sitter for a few hours so you can get pampered at a spa?
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Dont ever feel bad for needing a break mama, they are essential to parenting!
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Offer to help him with his work. My husband is a teacher and I do some of his stuff and he does some of my stuff. It’s the same amount of work either way but it feels like less because it’s not our own.
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I wanna know what the hell kinda job he’s running with those long hours.
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Some off you ladies are out the gate with your comments …
He cheating
Track his arse .
Well let’s just say she asked for your stupid advice and now she probably sitting at home with her kids .
Crying in the corner on the phone to her hubby accusing him off cheating way to go great advice …
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Yeah stop having kids probably…
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I wanna kno what his job is!
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He wouldn’t be able to physically handle that much work something’s off
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Obviously staying home is a blessing… but it can also be a curse. Maybe look into getting a part time job… something easy and minimal hours… to make a little extra cash to help with bills… then maybe he can cut back on his hours a bit and y’all can spend some time together as a family. Even if it’s just one evening a week… ya need to see each other if you plan to have a marriage… otherwise it’s just a business arrangement you have… he pays bills you are his nanny/maid. That’s not gonna work long term in most scenarios. Working your life away is no life at all.
I would have a conversation with your husband first for Christ’s sake!
If he’s a owner and a leader NOT a manager. He should be the first one in the door and the last one out.
Someone sick? Someone quit? Someone fired? Someone need to be hired?
That’s the owner’s responsibility and he’s the one to be picking up the slack. So I could see why he could be legitimately working.
However, you deserve some sort of break too. Have another family member come watch the kids like 2 hours a week or hire someone just for a small break!
It’s a blessing in its own that you have the opportunity and the means to stay home and raise your babies. This day and age both parents have to work their asses off to barely make ends meet!
So again talk to your husband you guys can come up with a solution.
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Something isn’t right here no one works that much or those long hours… own company or not.
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Anyone that’s not even taking 1 day off & working that many hrs at a time,self employed or not,is not working the whole time,idc what type of job it is. I’d be showing up unannounced at his “job” wherever that is.
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He should still help with the kids and giving you a chance to breathe. I’m in the same boat and I get it. Have a talk with him and let him know how you fee. Good luck
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YOU are workinging 24/7 as a at home mom. I doubt he’s actually “working” that many hours. They need a mom AND a dad so he needs to make some serious changes. What’s the point of having money of he’s not home with his family to enjoy it. He is either cheating or he needs to delegate or hire someonee to help him out at work. Cuz those hours are completely ridiculous and very unfair to to his wife and children for a man with a family
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I mean… maybe he owns a bar… they often times open fairly early during the day or need maintaining and prepping before opening and don’t close until 2… 
Are we sure all those hours are spent at work?
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When this happened in my marriage, I soon after found out he was cheating on me with a woman he worked with. He then left me and our 4 kids for her. Literally the same hours and situation.
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Wait why is he working that late?! That doesn’t make sense at all!! Does he get overtime?! No unacceptable tell him he needs to cut his hours and be home no later than 6pm. You need help and a break.
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“If you can’t handle a hard working man, you deserve a bum”
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U sure he working cuz it sound funny if he his own boss u can clock out when ever he wants to be home with his family unless he avoiding in spending time with u and that’s why he works all the time but girl wake up cuz something ain’t right about that
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Get a friend or family member to baby sit for you and your husband and once or twice a month go on a date with your husband it will bring you closer together and give you both a break.
Why is he working such crazy hours?
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I remember when my husband worked double shifts… I hated it… I appreciated him for it but I hated it… I never saw him… it got really lonely… so I understand what you mean.
What does he do for a living ?? It looks like the only thing he does at home is sleep from 3:00 am to 7:00am and off to work . if that was my hubby he would miss us so much and do what ever it took to see us .
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My husband works a lot too but every spare moment he wants to spend with us! He should be fighting for those spare moments and looking forward to them. Being tired is not an excuse.
We need to know what he does for a living to even be able to comment …
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Work until 1,2,3am??? Bullshit?!
Talk to him he needs to prioritize and balance work and personal life .
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I really wish we got follow ups on all these stories on here!!
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Just because you’re your own boss, doesnt mean you could just do as you please?? Especially if you’re actually hardworking, actually serious about what you do, then yes its very justifiable with the working hours. Not to mention being the only one that works to bring an income? Do people just think being a boss, having to take control of a business you get to sit around and swing on your chair all day? As harsh as it sounds, but being as realistic as ever, maybe you shouldve considered family planning? When you’re a boss, business NEVER stops. Its hard work and its even harder when you have to make sure you are making enough to keep your family of 5 stable and fed.
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Ur husband would not be able to work all those hours if he had shared custody
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You must demand time for yourself or you will start to resent and yell at your kids
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What work is he in?
Does he travel far for work?
What work is being done after 7pm-1,2 even 3am🤔
Something is amiss in this scenario.
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My mom always told me nothing good happened after 12 
. I’ve never heard of those hours:thinking:
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If hes working that much and the owner of a company he can afford to hire you help a couple days a week or a sitter 1 day a week so you can get alone time. I’m a sahm to 1 and my husband works a lot too… he hires me daycare 1 or 2 days a week so I can have some peace and to get our stuff done without child intervention… You gotta have money to survive but you cant set it on fire to keep your lonely heart warm. Might wanna remind him that. You deserve better and someone “making payments for you” isnt a reason to convince yourself you dont deserve his help with yalls children it took both of you to make them.
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Not sure what he does for a living but that sounds shit.
Is daycare an option? It would give you a break as well as getting the kids some away time and doing fun stuff as well.
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Has this always been the case? I asked that because you said your 5yr old is always asking for him, so at some point, he spent more time with her and she got attached. Then SOMETHING changed…
If he all of sudden started working these long hours and is now too tired to spend time with you guys, then something in the mustard ain’t clean! What about weekends? Holidays? Is he ever there for important events?
You have to let him know that you’re getting burnt out. Ask him if something happened to you and you couldn’t take care of the kids, what would happen then? Whatever that is, do that thing NOW!!! Prolonged stress isn’t good for anyone and he needs to step it up or make provisions. Hire a part time nanny, family member assistance or something. Also, pay close attention to him, he could have a whole nother family out there somewhere 
!
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Something smells 
y.
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BIG red flag 
the second I read he’s his own boss n works all them hours. . .he ain’t working all those hours sweetie
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What industry is he in that he’s working 19 hour days, 7 days a week? No time off, he’s only home to sleep? Sorry honey but something has to be up. Maybe I’m wrong but this seems a little odd. I hate to be the girl getting personal, but my husband works 6 days a week, either opens (8am to 5-7pm) or closes (3pm to 11pm or midnight). He still takes the baby so I can run errands or go out with friends, even when we’re both home he’ll take baby or cook/clean. Honestly I would be asking for pay period slips / pay stubs. I’ve never had to do that with my husband, but in high school my dad made me do that so he knew where I was all night. I would confront him and if he’s off putting during the conversation, that needs to be fixed. If he’s not home to see you or his kids, let alone help take care of them AND you, why even be married? Why live together? Worst case scenario, divorce but you’ll get half — easy to get you into an apartment, get a job, and find daycare or a nanny during work hours.
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He’s a hustler; that’s his job.
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Sounds like he has a side piece.
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You need to get a job to help him
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Go back to work so he doesn’t have to work 19 hours a day. But unless you can prove he isn’t working . That leaves less than 5 hours for him to sleep. He can’t help you .
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All these folks so quick to say he’s cheating. My husband owns his own business. He work ungodly hours. He also pays all the bills and affords us groceries in the cabinets. Owning a business is hard and takes a lot of time.
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Study’s show that being a stay at home mom is actually harder than having a full time job.
Don’t feel bad for wanting a little help with the kids. Don’t feel bad for needing a break.
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Doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out that HE CHEATING SISSSS🤦♀️ He living 2 whole lives out there and you letting him🤷♀️
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It sounds like you two need a date night to reconnect. Is he willing to make the time ? Ask.
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Sounds like hes cheating noone works that many hours especially if hes running the business 
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There is some sour women in this group. He works, a lot obviously. It doesn’t always mean he is cheating. Some men are workaholics. My man works three jobs right now, he’s an electrician by day, cleans for his dad in the evenings and it has just started his own company.
He’s rarely home, and on his spare time he’s at the gym. I hardly see him. But I ca guarantee he is not cheating 
so don’t let all these comments saying he’s cheating get to you, you would know in your gut if he was.
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Everyone saying he’s cheating I don’t agree. My husband works 7 days a week sometimes morning til late night. I know exactly where he is all the time, it’s the industry that he’s in and we need the overtime(his paychecks are amazing!) I’m assuming a lot of the women on here their men don’t have industrial jobs🤔but I don’t get very much help from him and I don’t expect much either. There just aren’t enough hours in the day. Are there any friends or family who can help?
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He really shouldn’t be working all those hours! 
It’s not good for him and why have a family if you never see them?
Most families manage fine financially working far less hours!
If this has always been the situation I wouldn’t have had 3 children as you know how hard it is after having the first one if he was never there then.
I’m hoping it’s just a brief spell for you all but if it’s his permanent working hours then maybe look into getting some help at home, a friend, relative or even a childminder/baby sitter if you can afford it just occasionally to give you a few hours break. I honestly couldn’t do it and quite frankly wouldn’t want to.
It’s no life for you, your children and especially your husband.
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Man, all these men haters. It doesn’t mean hes cheating but it may mean hes a workaholic. Maybe he feels like this is what he has to do to provide. You aren’t helping him at his job so how can he help with the kids if he has no time
He needs to realize that family is more important than money. Him giving up working may mean you getting a job or downsizing your life. Communicate with him and see what you guys can compromise on.
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It doesnt mean he’s cheating, good grief! Without info on what his job actually is thats a big conclusion to jump too. Maybe instead, ask him for yall to have a “family day” once or twice a month. Where you all go out or spend time together doin something as a family. Also some churches run a “mommy day out” at least the churches where in from do. You can drop the kids off inna safe environment and it cost little to nothing to do so, and you can have a day to yourself and you pick them up in the afternoon. May check into something like that so u can have a break momma 
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Why don’t you get out and find a little part time job, even if all it does it pay for childcare. Give you some time away from the primary function of being a mum.
You’re reliant on your husband. He’s working to make sure you dont have to. But sometimes you need to be busy doing something other than caretaking.
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Theres no way that he is working 19hr days every day. Something is up id either confront or do some snooping. Put the kids in daycare cpl days a week to get a break for yourself. I did that cause i needed a break when I was way overwhel.ed with both of them and house shit
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I am a stay at home mom for 16 years a long time ago I demanded date night once a week hire a sitter and get away you need it and deserve it. If he can not take off go do you! But you deserve 1 night a week for you!
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I used to be a stay at home mom. Seven years. Now I work full time. I’m not my own boss, but I work and my husband stays home. I often CHOOSE to work overtime. I don’t even ask him, I just tell him. It adds money to my checks, stuff like tech club for my son, and “sulfate free shampoo” for my daughter, birthdays and Christmas… are nice to be able to provide. I know he gets tired of the kids. We have an 18 month old that goes non-stop… but I need him to step up even when I get home and he needs a break. Being the working parent is just as hard, and it has aspects that, after having stayed home, and working as the sole provider, are more difficult than the average stay at home day. Taking over at the exact moment the other parent needs a break isn’t always possible. Communicate exactly when you want that time, schedule it.
That being said, I didn’t read all two hundred and something comments to find out if anyone else asked… as a stay at home parent, you are queen of the house, you are in charge of the kids, the schedule, the meals, everything home and child. When he does help, does he hear complaints about how he is doing whatever? Do you let him parent his way, clean his way, etc? Is being the money maker the only job he does right for your family? Is it easier to work all the time to provide than it is to try and step into your world?
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Strange. Anyway, might have to hire a babysitter one day a week or something. Also, you may want to communicate to your husband about this.
My man is the knly one providing financially and i know if i want him to help out more ill need to get get a job. I know once he became sole provider his stress level went up too. Providing for a family is hard work. Hes tired. Hes working. I have my job to do too. Thats why im a stay at home
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I’m in a similar situation. But my husband and I are both students too. I’m sure he knows what you’re going through. Right now is a tough time but it’s not forever. I know it feels like it. Everything is on your shoulders and you feel alone in it. But he sees it all and knows what you do. My suggestion would be plan a date night for you too. Call a baby sitter and take him out. Even if it takes you a month to get all the details worked out. Plan a night for you and him together. Or plan a day with the kids too. Let him know its important to spend time together even if its planned. Good luck momma. I know it’s hard but it will get easier. He wont always have to work like this. 
Look for support through Mommy and Me groups, play dates, etc. There are other families dealing with these parenting problems too. Some will even swap kids so you can have some Me Time. Check with your church, YMCA,etc. Dad’ s working hard for his family.
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Do you have any family that can help out and watch the kids for you. Because I feel like your both in the same spot your doing a full time job and so is he. But he does need this job to provide I know it sucks me and my hubby were on opposite shifts I did 3-11 he does 6-3 and we would litteraly never see each other but we absolutely need these jobs then he got a promotion and I went down to part time now i only work 11-2 at a school my family babysits for us but that’s why I was asking if you had family around try to make a date night once a month so you both can relax because you both deserve it but I do feel like it’s wrong to ask him to not work so much because if he working hard to keep up with the bills food ect but then takes a half day or a day off and that cuts a huge part of your check for that week but now you dont have something you need because he took that day off and itll make him feel bad because he’ll think he should of been at work
Trying doing it as a single parent. I only have one child but try working and doing everything you do on a daily . There is times where I have to pick up two jobs. Be grateful you only have to take care of the kids and not the kids and working and helping your elderly mom . At least you have someone providing for you.
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I’m a be straight up if that’s his schedule you shouldn’t of had so many kids.Like what did you think that was going to be a cakewalk you’re gonna lose your mind.People that have all those kids and their husbands have to work every day long periods of a day.Or they’re gone over the road anything in that type of work environment should not be having that many kids. and in less you have somebody to help you every day because all you’re doing is Going to go crazy.Really bad for the mental state.
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Thays crazy that he works so many hours. Not sure if it’s due to debt or because its expensive to have multiple kids but holy cow. Thats unheard of. Anyway, there are at home babysitters that can come to your house and babysit so you can get a break to shower/sleep/whatever. It’s usually a bit cheaper since they have access to you for emergencies. It’s a good option outside of daycare and a full time babysitter because yoy can do short bursts like an hour or two here or there. If he’s working that many hours, I have to imagine yall can afford a sit-in sitter for like an hour or two a week…
I’d assume he’s not just his own boss but also boss of many others. I think sometimes as females who are Mama’s we need to realize being your own boss doesn’t mean slacking off deciding when you get to go home. People rely on him. It’s a catch 22 you can have a man who bust ass to provide for you and yours or a man who blows off responsibilities to be home. If you have nice things and your kid has nice’s things. Your bills paid and such. I’d be grateful. You didn’t get them by him not working. Let him do what he does and keep being an awesome man. We are mom’s your life may not be the way you expected it and kids are demanding but we can’t just say it’s to much and then demand more from the other parent working their best. In that case how does the man win. If he works less your life changes and risk stability etc. Some men can’t win these days. Everyone wants a man that will be the provider but also want them home to play that role and do it. If they stay home suddenly they become that man whos not doing right by his family.
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I’m a stay at home Mom boss with a three and one year old. I completely understand your plight and it’s extremely exhausting. My husband works third shift so he’s home during the day but sleeps mostly. However, he does his best to help me when needed and I do my best to help him get the rest he needs. I think bottom line it has to be a balance somewhere. My Dad helps a lot by getting our kiddos on weekends. Try to reaching out to your support system if you can. Team work makes the dream work. Good luck 
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I think you are being selfish.
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Personally, I’d get a part time job and take my to a babysitter 2 times a week or so. You need to get out of the house and away from them. Even if it’s work. You probably will only be working to pay that daycare, but it’s really a stress relief.
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People have this notion that if you are your own boss, or own your own company, you should have ALL the time in the world. Wrong. It takes so much more time and energy keeping your company going.
Start supporting him and I bet he’ll come around. Get involved in his work, its supporting you and your kids. Bring him lunch, help him with a project, or paper work. Tell him the kids miss him, and like to help him at work if possible.
My hubby has always worked 14-16hr a day plus travel. He started at 4am, and wasn’t home until 8ish. He went months without seeing her. I helped with paper work in the evening when he got home.
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I’m really cynical, but I was thinking the same thing, something doesn’t add up. She really needs to
Look into things.
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First off, no more kids. Second, either get a job yourself or suck it up as he is busting his ass so that you can stay at home with the kids. I understand that you need a break (I’ve been there myself) but what about him?
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Hmmmm I just have trouble believing those working hours 7 days a week
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I think you need to sit down and ask him the important questions like why he doesn’t want to see his family and why he needs to work so much. Sit down and write down income and expenses. I have a feeling if you look at the facts you’ll realize something isn’t adding up. If he’s really working 8am- 3am M-F that’s 17/18 hours a day depending on how long it takes him to get to and from work. I agree with the momma who suggested bringing him lunch- I’d show up at his office without him knowing, probably more than once. Idk what he does for work but offer to switch roles while you’re there, I’m sure if he’s for real working those long shifts he wouldn’t mind feeding the baby while you organized a stack of papers or opened mail for him or anything really. Good luck!
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Information you already know what it is . My hubby own his own business and granted he does work a lot of hrs but he always make sure he see his kids in the morning because they will most likely be sleep . . Sound like he may have a family or doing his own thing else where . Do you have friends or family you can ask for help . I would see if someone can watch the kids one morning and follow him see if someone can stay with the kids while they sleep . Go to his job random different days different times 8 pm 12 am 1 am … I know it sucks but he not going to tell you truth you have to find it . Not saying when your
Find it it will make it better . Start saving and building a plan to leave because no respectable husband or father would act this way
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Do you have any family that can watch them for a couple hours to have some you time? Im assuming this has always been his schedule? Not to sound like a bitch but if thats the case, you knew what you were getting into as far as his availability goes
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With all do respect something isn’t right about this situation. Can he work from home? So he could see the kids more. At this point it’s really effecting your children and something needs to change or it’s going to cause them problems in the long term.
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I would hire someone to clean once a week or every other week or so and hire the occasional babysitter to watch the kids. It sounds like he has a lot on his plate trying to keep up with the bills. Of course it’s not easy staying home either, but he was probably working a lot before you had 3 kids. I would also suggest to him that he needs one day a week to unwind and have family time. You both need that.
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He works from 8am to 3 am everyday and hes his own boss… Seriously something aint right.
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Intergalactic Adobo comments
I’d be making a visit to his work at 10pm…kids in tow. They gotta kiss daddy goodnight every now and then. Bring him a late dinner and some investigating too.
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My husbands gone for months at a time. Our first year of marriage he was gone for 8 months. And when he’s home it’s only for a week or so. You got to do what you got to do. I also work a part time job and have 5 kids. It’s not easy but when their a little older it will get better. All these people saying he’s cheating or he shouldn’t have to work so much cuz he owns his own business are stupid. It takes A LOT to get a business up and running and to keep it going. He probably already feels like garbage not being home for you guys. Don’t make it worse.
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While your 5 year old is in school, put the other 2 in daycare 2x/week… get some me-time
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I get both stand points. But! He needs to realize that he is a parent. His children need him. Once you become a parent, it’ll all about them. There are days when I’m able to leave work early and sometimes I jump on it just so i can see my son an extra few hours. I also agree with an above comment of getting a part-time job. It might help him to be less stressed about money if you are also bringing in a little. Good luck!
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He isn’t working all those hours. Decide if the financial marriage is enough for you because the financial benefit is all you are getting out of the marriage. You are a married single mom and will continue to be if you stay with him. That may be okay with you because you value your kids having married parents or being able to say that you are married. People value different things. You have to do some honest self reflection to decide what matters most to you.
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My husband has a similar schedule (leaves at 6am, home at 11pm) he works 2 jobs so I can stay home with the kids. He wasn’t helping at all with the at home stuff. It’s taken some time, but he does “what he can” now. If the dishwasher is clean in the morning, he’ll unload it. He takes out the trash on his way out the door. He’ll bring the laundry to the basement for me. It isn’t much, but it helps and makes my life just a tad easier sometimes.
I just do not at all believe he’s working that many hours. Take the kids to his job and drop em off. Make him take care of them.
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You’re feelings are very valid because you are also making sacrifices for your family to be home to raise them so he should do his best to make time for his family.
Even if it’s a couple hours of helping with the kids or letting you have a break do you can be your best self for your own mental health.
Its great that he’s a financial provider but quality time will be valuable in a child’s mind.
Each relationship is different but my husband helps with cleaning, cooking, giving me a break when I say I’m exhausted and feeling stressed etc.
And he works for about 11-12 hours each day with the weekends off.
He isn’t working all those hours
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Get your own job. A few days a week can do alot for your sanity
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He isnt working all those hours.
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You need to find the safest way out of the situation for you and kids. Because he is doing nothing but hurting you. You just dont know about it yet . take the upper hand you have right now. And leave while you still have your pride. Because my boyfriend is his own boss and I can tell you he does not work that much still make ends meet… If he did he would say whats the point of being your own boss?
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