Let the poor dude go! It’s so important for guys to have guy time.
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If roles were reversed we would be saying the husband is emotionally abusive.
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That’s a grown man, your husband. TRUST him.
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He’s going to start having regrets about his marriage to you. Then you gonna be sorry.
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Let him go. If you trust your husband, he has good morals, you should be ok. Let him go.
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If you trust him, give him at least a couple days.
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Ouch. This sounds really controlling. You seriously shouldn’t keep your husband from his family. You should be supportive and especially TRUSTING. If you feel you have to keep your eye on him when he is away from you, that shows tremendous insecurity. You have to nurture your marriage, you can’t treat him like a child that needs permission… I’m sorry I might sound harsh. There has to be trust and security in your marriage or you have nothing
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I would hate to be married to you.
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You need to trust your husband, not the ones he’ll be with… If you trust him you’ll know what he would and wouldn’t do… Sounds like the problem is that you have no trust in your husband…
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If you have to say you’re not overbearing, it’s a lie. How dare you dictate what he can and can’t do with family he has lost touch with. You’re controlling, and make excuses for it. If YOU have issues with your husband having a social life that’s a YOU problem and should go to therapy. There is something inherently wrong with a grown man saying he’s not allowed to go on a vacation because his wife isn’t comfortable with it.
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WOW…hes a GROWN man! Controlling much???
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I am married 14 years, I would in all honesty let him go. He knows what he got to lose…all in all I would enjoy my peace with the kids. I really could careless if mine went for a month lol, sometimes ya just gotta let it be, and the balls in your court there, when he gets back you take a break. Honestly, sometimes I need a break from him so anyone who wants him for a week go for it or have I just been married too long:grimacing:
Wow, you would be gone. 100%
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Let him go on the trip and enjoy time with his friends. He is a grown man.
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W-O-W!! Your insecurities are showing, you might want to tuck them in for a bit & Let that man go spend time with his family!
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These sound like your insecurities you need to speak with him let him know how you feel but you should let him go if he wants to.
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Just because some bad “entanglements” while they were married does not mean they have low morals… people make mistakes, they are human. Let him go. So what if it is to the beach, a hotel, a bar, or whatever they decide. He hasn’t had 12 years of actual freedom. Let him go with his FAMILY.
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Uummmm if this was reversed we’d all be saying something like 'he’s controlling you" or “leave him” ect…
You may not agree with their (extended familys) choices in life, but you do need to trust your husband. You haven’t given a good reason (IMO) as to why he shouldn’t be going.
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Wow…you are a tad controlling. He is your husband yes…but dont treat him like a little kid… dont you trust him?..
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If you can’t trust your husband why are you even married???
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He is an adult. He can go on a trip… you’re his wife, not his mom.
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They are his cousins why not let him go if your don’t trust your husband then why did you marry him?
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Holy moly!
Your husband deserves time away from you, And he also deserves to be trusted and valued. He isn’t a piece of property for you to control.
Work on those trust issues you have within yourself and I promise you, Your husband going away for a week with family won’t bother you in the slightest.
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Damn. This has abusive written all over it. If you can’t trust your husband to behave, just say that.
He’s a grown adult who can make his own decisions. So he can decide to be a good man while away.
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You must be rich cause idk why anyone would put up with that kind of nonsense. I’ve had access try to keep me from seeing my family and let’s just say it did not turn out well for them
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Oh and by the way there is a lot more to Miami then just clubs and drinking and that is a very narrow-minded thing to think
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You are very controlling. I feel so bad for ur husband im sure he can never do anything fun. Just because ur 40 doesnt meam you cant go out and do anything fun. Women do girl trips all the time and its ok. But if a man wants to do a guys trip it a bad thing. You dont even know these guys so who are you to judge.
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Girl go plan ur own trip lighten up.
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How about if you wanted to do a girl trip he didn’t want you to how would you feel about that
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Um, I would LOVE for my SO to go on a weel trip away. I need time away from him, dang! &&& your husband needs and deserves a trip and a break! Stop being controlling, start trusting him.
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I love how everyone is saying your controlling!
Having an opinion abt what you will alow in your marriage is not controlling. Just have an open and honest conversation with your husband abt your feelings and worries. Communication is key! If the situation were to be reversed, you going out with the girls, some with questionable morals would he feel comfortable with the whole situation and why or why not? If he has the confort and trust in you to go and keep your morals high even though your around other people who do not. I feel he should be given the same respect. Marriage is all abt trust, honesty and respect. Lots of luck girl.
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This whole post just screams of a super controlling personality. If you’re so concerned about what your husband of 12 years MIGHT BE TEMPTED to do, then maybe you shouldn’t be married. If he’s such a good partner, then it shouldn’t matter when or where, he would ALWAYS SAY NO.
Plan your own trip for the same time and lighten the heck up. Or if your controlling personality can’t let it go, then maybe there are some bigger issues you need to address.
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Mg I pity this poor guy!..let the man go n enjoy himself wif his relatives!
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Let him go everyone one deserves alone time! I go to Florida every year for a week with out kids or husband. I go with a bunch of girl friends
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Just because a couple of his friends have loose morals doesn’t mean your husband does. He is responsible for his own actions. You should trust him and not worry about the others and let him go if he wants. Sounds like he has been a great husband. Don’t you think he deserves a break? Lol not like you can’t call him often and check in. The funeral likely reminded the guys how short life is. Living a little doesn’t mean he will cheat.
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You can feel discomfort about the situation, that’s ok. Feelings arent wrong. What isn’t the right choice is to expect him to rise to your feelings and make choices so that you stay comfortable. If you trust your husband he needs to be allowed to spend time with family and be trusted that if a situation comes up that he knows isn’t right, he’ll bow out gracefully. Take more of the approach of “he knows what he’s got he’s not stupid enough to risk losing it” than “I have to stop him from getting in a situation where he could let temptation get the best of him”. If you have to be so in control at all times, you don’t trust him and/or you went into it knowing he’s not trustworthy. If he is trustworthy…for the love of everything let him walk out the door without a leash.
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If you love and trust him let him go
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Have faith and let him go! Maybe plan a girls trip the same week and go to a local beach or something 
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Omg so judgy on here. Yet u all will be the first ones to say “why would u ever let him go” when her next post starts off with “my man cheated on me during a guys get away” 
darling you are at war with yourself and that is ok. You feel uncomfortable with this situation and that is also ok. You put alot of thought in it and factored in his feelings as well as your own so its apparent you are not a selfish person. You made alot of valid points here but ultimately this conversation needs to be between you and your husband. He does deserve this but you deserve to be at peace with it. If you have a sturdy relationship it can take the hard conversations. Just make sure your approach is genuine. Just know that after you discuss it, he is still going to want to go. At some point you will need to trust him to be the man you married when you are not around.
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Life is short. They probably all realized that at the funeral. Let him go
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Feel very bad for your other half, if roles were reversed it would be called emotional abuse, give him a life, not many guys would put up with you
I just booked a 5 day trip girl trip to Orlando without my man. If he stopped me, I’d be going single and we’ve we together 7 years.
I’ve been there but you can’t stop a man from cheating, if that’s what he going to do. It will always be somewhere. I always give enough rope and hope for the best.
From these comments I can tell alot of you aren’t married, probably never have been! When you are married you cant just hang out with anyone… family or not. I know for a fact my husband would care about me hanging out with a few females I did before we were married. You should care about the company you keep if you respect your union. Family can be toxic too. No married man should be going on a week trip, a weekend is fine. Everyone needs their time away, you still have to be your own individual person… feeling a way or voicing your opinion is not controlling or not trusting your spouse. Some things change when you get married…they’re suppose to.
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You have trust issues. Smothering him won’t help. What if the shoe was on the other foot? What if he was posting the same about you?
Let him go. Men need space too. If he doesn’t even drink im not sure what your worried about. Trust your husband. If you can’t trust him to be away from you for a few days then why are you married to him?
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Ben’s going to Texas with navy buddies and I said go and have a great time!
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Maybe have him go fishing if he likes it. You don’t have to go all the way to Miami to have fun experiences. I’d focus on doing things together. That’s how we bond when we have fun together
Dang woman lighten up! Trust your man. Trust your marriage.
He probably needs time away we all do.
I’m sure you would benefit too.
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What does “my husband has already said he knows he can’t go cause I do not have it” mean?
Honestly, how those other men are does not reflect your husband. Maybe he wants to be able to reconnect considering the situation that brought them back together. Shame on you for acting like a child about it. He’s a grown ass adult and you should back off.
Ew, This whole vibe is gross. If you don’t have trust, you have nothing.
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LOL girl… get a grip! Hes gonna end up with an entanglement himself if you dont get over yourself. Just bc orhers do doesnt mean he will. You married him so you’re supposed to trust him. Hes a grown ass man who needs friendships outside your marriage. He needs to be able to go and do as he pleases n guess what! If he cheats (which I’m sure would be the last thing on his mind) then why the hell would you stay. Even better if you think he would n are so worried about it why did you marry him? Get over yourself and let that poor man have a life before he meets a woman who is secure enough to not keep him hostage and have him thinking she “wont have it” over things he wants to do.
“Let”, “allow”, “won’t have any of that” sound like words/phrases we would use with our children. Our husbands are grown men. The have a brain. When you marry it’s not one person owning another, it’s 2 people coming together because of love and respect. Why be with someone that doesn’t love you enough or respect you enough to mot cheat on you? Besides as you say, he is a good dad and husband. If cheating happens, it’ll happen in Miami or in your hometown. If you have concerns talk to him, he is your husban, tell him your concerns, and the fact that you worry is because you love him. If he wants to go then he should. He’ll take your concern and that’ll be a guidance for him and he’ll feel loved and on his own call you throughout the day. Schedule when he’ll call to talk to you and the girls, that way he is not answering the phone every 5 minutes in the middle of lunch, dinner. We sometimes mistake our husbands as another child - yes, they can be at times childish but I believe it’s because they like being taken care of.- He is your husband, your friend - best friend- your companion. Plan a weekend away with you and him or even as a family so you can have something to look forward to. Communication is the best tool in marriage, and as another person commented should he find himself in a compromising situation he’ll know to bow out and head home to where the love of his life are - you and your girls. Good luck with this and many blessings to you and your family.
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Ok your really controlling. you cant smother him and treat him like a kid. I honestly dont see why hes even still married to you if you dictate everything’s he can and cant do.
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My husband has a “man week/weekend” once a year. I think they deserve a break just as much as we do. He works his ass off all day to provide for our family, then he comes home and is around the kids and cooks and helps clean.
It doesn’t matter if you trust the other people. If you trust your husband he should be able to do anything he wants to.
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I hope he leaves your over bearing ass. You way too insecure in to in a marriage
It seems like you are kind of overbearing. What does it matter what they do on a guys’ trip? If you trust him let him go and enjoy his time with his cousins. You’d probably be upset if you missed out on an opportunity like that because he didn’t like who you were going with
My advice would be for him to leave you immediately, you sound toxic 
Him making a choice not to go because of x,y, and z is one thing but “he knows he can’t go cause I will not have it” is literally insane. Because other people make bad decisions doesn’t mean your husband will.
There are plenty of things to do in Miami other than bars and strip clubs.
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You are not his mother. Stop trying to be. He is an adult. If his morals are so easily led astray you are with the wrong man. If you cannot trust him, you have other issues.
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I swear people in this group don’t know how to be nice y’all sound like some assholes the stuff your saying to her if you don’t have any good advice keep that shit to yourself this group is supposed to be for support and healing uplifting each other ask for advice but damn some of y’all are evil with your reply’s it’s so unnecessary
You sound controlling af !! Let that man go enjoy himself ! If it was the other way around and he asked that question everyone would be saying to leave because it’s abusive or controlling .
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Oh my goodness sakes… really!!! what would you think if he told you that you couldn’t go!!! Come on!
If you don’t have trust you don’t have anything
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Why do ppl really put their life story out in public for advice?..only to be criticized… 
Let him go have have a break especially if he’s never given you any reason to not trust him
You sound more like his master than a wife. Life is short. There is nothing wrong in having some fun with his cousins.
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This post only speaks to your insecurity. He is your PARTNER NOT YOUR CHILD. Frankly, I don’t agree. I think couples ate so quick to place these expectations on their partner or these limitations (don’t hang out with so and so, don’t go there, you don’t “need” to be in that company of friends, etc.) THAT is ridiculous. You know vice versa if he EVER said anything similar to you than you would be offended and you would feel controlled. He is a 40+ yo MAN for God’s sake. I wouldn’t be so quick to say “he doesn’t like those things” and also have you ever thought that maybe him having a good moral compass would be of benefit to those men you think have none (not that it’s your place to judge them).
Id wanna go too shit
My fiance “let” () me go to Maryland for a week. 1000 miles away. I took our son to see family but still. Time apart is GOOD for your relationship. You need to trust your spouse! Goodness
So I may or may not catch shit, but I don’t care.
So I have trust issues from a previous relationship - even entering into my new relationship. I would be worried and afraid - because anything can or could happen, From death to cheating. But I would also let him go if that’s what he really wanted to do.
First though, I’d make him understand that if anything happens between him and another female that the relationship is terminated, not even a second chance would happen.
Second - if you both have jobs then his money is solely used for his trip. If it’s both your money then an amount needs decided between the two of you that he can be allotted that doesn’t affect you paying bills and taking care of the children.
And third - after his trip you get an entire week/weekend to do whatever you want. That means he keeps the kids, goes to work and does the house work while you go do your thing. If that’s you staying in a hotel room for a week, watching movies and ordering take out - so be it.
Compromise and discussion between the two of you is better than asking a bunch of women on the Internet, that can only provide their judgmental opinion and nothing else.
I would let mine go, but I Trust him and I’m not a control freak.
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Y’all should just go to Miami together and enjoy yourself his cousins sound like trash men anyway and he doesn’t seem like he really want to go anyway if he would’ve insisted. To many people don’t value their marriage enough to want to make sure to avoid problems it’s good that ur husband respects u enough to have already told his cousins no there’s nothing wrong with that everyone lives there life different just keep doing you. It’s good to voice how you really feel.why play with fire and expect not to be be burned. It’s like some people just inviting there husband to cheat and it’s not about trust it’s about making wise choices and this is clearly a foolish one.
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Has he ever cheated… If u cant trust him to go on a vacation with his family and do the right thing u might wanna reevaluate some things… If the man hasnt done anything wrong Let him go
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There’s nothing wrong with him going. Give the man some time away. You said he works and comes home. If it were you and you wanted a break from home life, you’d resent him for not “allowing” you too. He deserves it.
If he does go, leave him alone and don’t constantly text and call him. Plan some fun for yourself while he’s away and you both get well deserved breaks. TRUST your husband to have fun and be smart. Jeebus.
got nothing to do with what his cousins are like its your insecurity fuck I’d more worried about him going to work everyday and all that over time hes doing LMAO 
These are totally short sighted and unfair responses, please don’t listen to these women. There is no reason for a married family man to be going to Miami for a week without his wife. This is not about trust and it’s simple minded to make comments about trust em or leave em, etc. it’s about avoiding temptation, that’s loyalty. When you’re committed you don’t put yourself in positions that could bring temptation or hurt into your relationship. It’s completely valid to not want your husband spending so much time with a group of men who have questionable morals. The company we keep matters. And to expect a woman to be ok with her husband going on vacation with a bunch of men who are either single or who cheat on their wives is insane. Stop shaming women who have some standards. I hate when ppl shame a woman for expecting respect. She is not crazy, or controlling. She is a wife and a mother, with a family to protect. Miami spring break is not a place for married men to go on boys trips. Facts. I’m sure she wouldn’t be reacting this way if they wanted to rent a cottage and go on a fishing trip. That’s an appropriate men’s vacation for married folk.
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I love that ‘I’m not overbearing’.
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Sounds like you have some trust issues. If you trust him, it doesn’t matter what company he is in
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I don’t blame you for worrying about his company. But I’d plan something away too, idk. Would he be willing to spend time with your girls so that you can catch a break too? People who are single act single. Are you ok with your husband acting in the same matter? It’s been 12 years… do you question his loyalty at this point? So many questions. I don’t think you’re controlling at all. You love the life you’ve managed to obtain and are afraid of something changing that. All them young girls out there ready to hop on anything lol it’s Miami. There’s plenty of that. nothing a little alcohol can’t help. Married guys do that all the time shoot most of these females men have cheated plenty of times. My mans probably cheated too. They just know better than to get caught and some don’t even care. It’s a part of life from what I’ve seen. If it happens it happens. But to literally go out there on his own with temptation everywhere and girls being as easy as they are idk Would you bring a dog fresh delicious smelling meat and expect him not to want any? Especially when the guys around him are enjoying a piece lol
You sound a bit jealous. I’m sure you would love to do something like that too
You trust your husband or you don’t… That’s what it comes down to. They havnt persuaded his morals in the last 12 years, I doubt a trip to Miami for a week is going to change that. My husband’s best friends are all single bachelors and I still let him go to other countries if he wants for two week long vacations. Because I TRUST MY HUSBAND.
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I think if he wanted to go he should, you’re his wife not his mother. And if hes got a good moral compass then you have nothing to worry about, period.
If you don’t trust him to go somewhere without you, there’s bigger issues here than what he would do all week. I hope you guys can figure it out. People deserve to have their own time when they need it.
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Relationships are built on trust. He seems to have not given you a reason not to trust him. He is an adult and can make decisions for himself about what to do or what not to do. You need to trust him as your husband, partner, and equal - not be his parent.
Ive been with my s/o for going on 6 years. We have 2 kids. In September I went on a girls trip to Jamaica… had a blast…had drinks, good food, lots of memories and laughs… sometimes that time away is needed.
I wouldn’t do it and wouldn’t expect my husband to do it. I don’t like double standards though. If it is something you’d do yourself then you shouldn’t make him stay behind.
It’s horribly sad that your husband knew before even discussing this with you that you “wouldn’t have it”. Horribly sad.
He needs a week away from you. Js
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He’s not been out with male friends since you got married. Says it all! He doesn’t go out as he’s always working. Sounds like he needs to let his hair down.! If you trust him, I don’t see the issue. Do you go out with female friends.?
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If he’s never done anything to make you doubt him then let him go! And then go take a trip with your girls!
My husband and I have full trust. He’s gone on hunting trips for several days and other things with friends. What any other man does isn’t my problem. I trust my husband regardless of the company he’s in, as does with me.
Seems like there are already trust issues within your marriage. Shoot, I’ve gone to the strip club with my hubby and his friend’s before… best time ever. We’ve been together 14 years. What if your girlfrienda wanted to go on a girls trip to Vegas and he asked questioned your intentions?!
He can go to his place for a week and then ill go to mine for a week
Its his family… Hes a grown man… Trust him or.divorce him… If he decides he wants to.go… Hush and say ok baby have a good time… If you cant trust him then do him a favor and say goodbye
Is he allowed to think for himself…No I think not…
Do you do everything your girlfriends do? Probably not. Just because one or more of his cousins cheat, doesn’t mean he will. Let him go and be happy. He’ll love you all the more for it!
you sound too controling🤷♀️
Like it or not I’d just let him gooo. It’s family. I agree with the other ladies on taking a trip after… or even while he’s gone, it’ll help you to not over think things and you can have fun too
Control issues right there… Let ur husband go… If it was u I am sure I would go… And if hes responsible then shit let him enjoy some freedom… He knows right from wrong… Trust is the main key.
I think if he wants to go, you should support him. You can tell him your opinion some but ultimately he needs to decide if it’s the right environment. Your his wife, not his mom. Relationships are about trust and if your concerned, you have to ask yourself why. Several years ago I would have been the same way, very worried and apprehensive. But the issues that caused me to feel that way are resolved. There is definitely a reason you feel that way. Now I take 2-3 day trips each month or two alone across Florida. My husband can do the same and I encourage him to. It’s good for our relationship.
First of all, your husband is not a child, and if you know he’s married, he knows he’s married. Second, it sounds like you don’t trust him to do right by you even after 12 years of marriage.It also sounds like you think he can be peer pressured into cheating on you rather than make his own decisions. Did you cheat on him when you went to Miami? If as you say he doesn’t get a lot of guy time at home, then allow him some guy time. But it sounds to me like you have trust issues with your husband, and if that is the case, maybe you should re-examine your marriage You spend more time with him than his long lost cousins and after all this time you still don’t trust him? The “low morale” family members are not the problem. He works hard, takes care of you and the children, he deserves to have and enjoy spending time with family his members without fear of reprisal from you when he returns.