He has 2 hands, 2 feet & a heart beat. He can do it himself. Ignore his family. They are not a priority in your household, those babies are. It is a traditional housewife chore which is “expected” but um… Hello! We are in the 21st century, a man get make his own plate.
This is ridiculous, you don’t have to “tend” to your husband. He can make his own fucking plate, and if he has a problem with it, send him to my house and I’ll give him a “plate” on the house! 
Your inlaws need to fuck all the way off and your husband needs to handle his people. Otherwise you need to go.
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I personally don’t believe in making a man’s plate, children yes, or elderly people but someone who is capable should do it themselves. I get its kinda just a sweet little favor but it’s not for me lol… I haven’t nor will I ever make my husband’s plate while he is able to do it himself
I’m on your side hell it sounds like you are a better housewife than I am. I make the kids and myself plates unless he’s not home or he is sitting with the kiddos usually we take turns or mostly ill make the kids plates let him go get his then I go and get mine. My husband offers to get mine or what not but idk I feel like he couldn’t make my plate how I would just like I wouldn’t make his plate the way he would. If he doesn’t have an issue with it I’d just ignore it
beat the MIL up and put her in her place!!! Sorry, but we fix kids plates together around here and then we kinda just help each other make each others plate then we sit down to eat. Its all about the thought. If its just the 2 then heck yes im gonna make his plate. But you didnt make thise kids alone!
I can’t even with these comments and it seriously shows just how much the world is turning but one thing I would never do is disrespect my man and not make his plate but then again not all males deserve that respect. I enjoy making him feel good after a long day and everything he does.
My husband is Hispanic and I do NOT make his plate or his food. The first time he said he didn’t like my cooking was the last time he ate anything of mine. Not going to make myself stressed out in the kitchen all damned day just because he wants food that needs to be made his way.
Wtf?? My man and I have been together for 7 years. We have 3 kids. He and I BOTH make our kids plates at family functions and then if we’re at his family’s he makes my plate and when he’s at my family functions I make his plate. Not because of “being a good wife” or whatever 
it’s just because I’m more comfortable telling my family to get tf out of my way and same with him at his
Wow they must have a dull life is this is what they gossip about. He is a grown man, I’m sure he can cope getting his own plate sorted. He should be helping getting the kids sorted aswell not just leaving it all up to you.
My husband will not let me make his plate. He says he a grown up and can do it himself. Tell you MIL to mins her own business and keep her nose out of your marriage. If she doesn’t like it she doesn’t need to see you and the kids.
I sure hope he told her he’s a grown ass man and can make his own plate and that she better not speak on his wife 
Next time you’re there, when he’s made his plate and everyone’s sitting down, say “oh shit guess I forgot to make my husband’s plate like he’s my infant child, god look at me, caring for my kids and not an adult man. What a bad wife and mother I am, shame shame” and then spank your hand in front of her. And then say “good enough for you mommie dearest?”
Maybe she should be making her son’s plate instead of expecting a grown ass man to wait for it to be served to him. Mama’s boy indeed.
I make my kids plates and then my husband’s. Noe if he wants 2nd he gets up and gets his own. But I guess it’s just the way I was raised. Some nights he beats me to it and he makes all of our plates.
You are not a bad wife for not serving a plate for him. Period. It would be the same as saying he’s a bad husband for not help you serve the kids….? Maybe that’s how they conditioned their family to be that way but not everyone follows the “cycle” and that doesn’t make it wrong. Each couple lives their life how they want, your marriage not theirs.
You should talk to your husband. Cause that is ridiculous. I’ve had my inlaws come at me trying to leave for my sake since I do everything in the house. Your mother inlaw should be more supportive of you and helping you if it’s such a big deal to her. My partner doesn’t care if his plate is made as long as there’s food to eat. And even then he makes my plate for me if I’m already feeding the kids. Not to mention that your mother inlaw is not apart of the relationship. It’s between you and your husband. If it was a real problem to him, he should be the one talking about how you don’t make his plate.
What a joke 
he’s a grown man, he should be making you a plate for taking care of the house and kids
Definitely confront them respectfully or cut them off, talk to your husband about how you feel disrespected and if he doesn’t say anything to them you should cause that’s not okay.
I’m Mexican and i hate that stupid ass shit in our culture men get babied so much by their moms and then their moms want the wife’s to do the same and when they don’t they’re bad wife’s etc. he’s grown af and can make his own, you have your kids and they come first, he definitely can get up and feed himself. It’s a stupid “tradition” that needs to go away honestly.
I let my husband know that’s not the type of wife i am lmao so if he wanted to out a ring on this finger he knew i wasn’t the “typical” catering Mexican house wife
Divorce his family. Hes adult enough to make babies hes adult enough to fix his own God damn plate. Mommas never get to sit and eat their own food while its still hot as it is!
Why do you fix your own plate? Next time ask him to fix yours and his, while you get the kids their meal. In our house it is everyone for themselves, for food of course. But if we have a problem, we bring it up and talk it out with all concerned.
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Oh honey…I’d hit them with a sassy comment that won’t cause a scene but will shut them up. “I didn’t know serving grown, capable men equated to being a good wife. In my household grown men serve themselves and treat their wives like team members, not maids…but thanks for your concern.” All with a wink and a smile.
This, of course depends on your husbands true opinions. I spent my first marriage being torn down because of this stupidity meanwhile working my arse off working full time and getting my masters degree and coming home at 10pm only to be asked what i would cook for dinner at that hour, to then be berated about not ironing his clothes during family functions…all him saying these things, but his family enabled this because those are things a good wife does. Then I left before having kids because I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have kids at that point.
If he is not participating in this behavior and doesn’t feel this way…then speak to him about putting his family in place with a simple comment in your defense like “i don’t need her to serve me…she makes sure the kids and the house are taken care of and I’m a grown man and we are a team” …I would hope that he would do this naturally, but maybe he is just so used to listening to this nonsense it hasn’t occured to him that it really bothers you.
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If you’re in the South it’s just a thing. I make my husband’s plate then our daughters. It’s not a big deal. My husband is the main breadwinner and it’s just respectful to him for me to make his plate first. Everyone has their own opinion do what works best for y’all. 
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At the next get together, I would make HER plate and give it to her in front of the entire family. Then, I would make his plate and ask her approval on how you did. I then would respond d, “Thanak you for the feedback on my marriage. I sure don’t want it to end in divorce.” That way you are calling her out in front of everyone, including your husband, but doing it I a bitchy way that can sound polite. Embarrass for her behavior and your husband for not sticking up for you. But, I’m a vindictive bitch. So…
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Woah. Make his plate? Never heard of that with this generation. Those times are simply over. Like you said, he’s a grown man with two hands and can and should make it himself. The only reason I can think of for making a plate for a spouse is if they are occupied with the kids and aren’t getting a chance to eat, and that goes for him making you a plate too if you’re at a function and can’t eat because of watching kids running around. Helping each other out is key. Doing stuff for the other because its what women/wives should do is wrong in my opinion. We have evolved to so much more than that.
As for your mother-in-law telling your husband he should divorce you, that is straight wrong. At that time it’s your husbands responsibility to say something to his mother about that being inappropriate and disrespectful.
Maybe ask her why she didn’t find it important enough to be a good mother and teach her son how to scoop food onto a plate.
I used to make my husbands plate until he complained I gave him too much food. I also went on a cooking strike when he said we have the same meals all the time. If he doesn’t appreciate what I do for him then I won’t do it. We now take turns cooking, he does his own laundry, I do however take care of the kids and the house. We both work.
Damn my husband makes my plate usually. The only time I make his is if he is sick. The only reason he makes mine sometimes is because he doesn’t think I eat enough.
That’s ridiculous. It’s not 1933. This shouldn’t even be asked in 2021. He is a grown man. You owe him no servitude.
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I make my husbands plate most of the time, mostly some wives do it out of respect and appreciation knowing their husbands work hard all day, but before some pass judgment I do believe it works both ways also, taking turns help out since both parents have hard jobs to lead, its honestly none of the in laws business on how your marriage works, you’re not his mom and hes not his dad period, and personally I wouldn’t tolerate it and let it be known especially if your children start witnessing these episodes.
I make his plate, my plate, my kids plate and their friends if they are there it’s just much easier to do it all at once and we can all sit down together and eat. And the parents with small kids if they are there I’ll let them make a plate and eat because I know how rare that is to get to enjoy a meal with little ones
This is an antiquated view point & also irrelevant. Your husband needs to ignore it & shut it down
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Me when mine couldn’t be bothered to act right 
now I get to sit back and laugh when I hear her other kids complain about all the dumb shit she says and does but I sleep peacefully at night knowing I don’t have to deal with her.
Culture my big Mexican ass I was born in mexico so was my husband I sure ass don’t make his plate we have 3 kids maybe at dinner time at home but at get togethers he makes his own I’m not his momma fuck the culture crap … Cut them off you dont need that energy period
My husband gets his own plate. Once in a while we get each others plates. But he is grown and knows what he wants to eat. How does he feel about this conversation? At the next get together, I would tell everyone that you need to get your husband’s plate of food first so that he doesn’t die of hunger. Your MIL is picking on this issue, it will only get worse.
I have been married for over 30yrs and the only time I’ve ever made a dish for my husband is if he is sick and i want him to eat something other then that he’s a grown man he can make his own plate i would tell mom to mind her own marriage and stay out of yours
Make him make yours and the kids plates at the next family gathering
But for real, he needs to put them in their place or cut them off. And if he doesn’t and continues to let them disrespect you, cut him off as well. He is a grown man and he is more than capable of making his own plate while you tend to the kids.
Some family member just dont hv any business saying what a wife should dom. Give me a break a man cant serve himself! Mother’s of the past just used to do for their sons. They did terrible job in raising their sons
If that were my husband, he would not only “not get his plate”, he would also be doing his own laundry and cleaning house.
Are we living in the 50s?? Its your marriage, not his mother’s, if it not an issue to him then she should mind her own business and he should be the one to tell her to butt out. It’s ridiculous that women should feel the NEED to make a plate for a fully capable grown man. I make my child’s plate first and then my own and usually by the time I’m done and actually get to sit down and eat myself half the food is cold and I get what little bit is left after everyone else has gotten theirs. I’m not dishing up a grown man also
“Making his/their plate” isn’t a term that’s used in the uk, sooo is it like cooking the food or dishing it up on the plate?? Either seems weird, if you cook the food then why wouldn’t you plate it up? Especially doing it for yourself and the kids. And again, if you’re cooking for yourself and the kids, why wouldn’t you cook for him too? 
Sooooo not okay. He is fully capable of getting his own food. That being said, once the kiddos are older, then fine. Fix his plate. But you’re not a maid. You are a wife. There’s a difference.
Did we go back in time to the 1950’s? No you shouldn’t feel like you’re a bad wife!! Absolutely not! Tell your husband about this conversation and explain your thoughts. Hopefully he will take it upon himself to put his mother in her place. If not then definitely suggest that he talks to her about it, she should not be telling him to divorce you for any reason. It’s none of her damn business! I hope everything gets better.
I don’t make my husband’s plate at family functions bc he is a grown man and I don’t know what he wants or doesn’t want. Now at home I normally make it as I make mine and the kids
If ur Latino is a must 
When I’m around my side of the family i do it because they are shit talkers but when I’m with his side if the family they are chill and laid back!
You should cut them off… you’ll find the family and oh yes the mother in law will be so pissed at you. He will hopefully defend you and tell them all to f… off and should have a long talk with his mom so she knows what’s what.
Funny reason to ask him to divorce you. It’s obvious they never like but who cares? Let them deal with it.What did your husband say/do when they made you a topic? Did he defend you or busy enjoying mum’s rant and indirectly indulging her? Some of these men play double standard. They gossip to their family as well as their wife.Well, i pity people who make me their buisness because they will be frustrated. Just do your best and forget they even exist. Na them go taya according to Little Success .
Oh hell no!! Thats such a minor thing, and for her to think its divorce worthy is insane! At least you cook for him! Just because you dont serve him on a platter doesnt make you a bad wife! You have children to feed, and a PARTNER who can get his own plate and lighten your load. Id tell her exactly that, then tell her until she can stop talking badly about you, then she isnt welcome in your house to see what goes one there. Dont add fuel for her fire!
You have no obligation to make a grown mans plate I remember when I was in hs, my boyfriends mom would make her husbands plate, prep his lunch for him to take to work, have his breakfast laid out for him in the morning. My 16 year old self said hell no, I will NEVER. 13 years later and I really haven’t I even make my bf wash his own damn laundry.
Okay, so that is extreme. And it’s really none of her business. Call me old fashioned…I take pride is being a Housewife and stay at home Momma…I keep a tidy house, take care of our children, cook clean, and at the end of the day, I will serve the kids. Sometimes 3 sometimes only 1, we have 2 from other relationships…I serve everyone. I dont care if he is grown…I dont care if I am tired. He is my husband, my spouse, the provider of the family, he busts his ass and works 65+ hrs a week so.I can be home with our kids. Im teaching our boys how to be men, husband’s, fathers later in life. It’s not just letd teach them to be a great man for a woman…I want them to see how a Great woman treats her man… so yes I serve him his meals…I will love and care care spoil him as he does for me.
Total opposite with my mother in law. I usually make my husbands plate and she always tells me hes a grown ass man let him make his own plate lol
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Wow they sound toxic! I make my kids plates and my husband is a grown ass man that can make his own. I will offer every now and again to make his plate but unless he isn’t feeling good he will make his own.
If the shoe was on the other foot after a day at work would you want pampered 
by your teammate you chose to spend your life with? I’m sure there’s more to it all but if he’s out supporting you to be at home with the kids don’t you think making him a plate of dinner you made say something 
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I didn’t make his food OR do his laundry OR have sex on demand OR brush his teeth for him OR hold his hand when he crossed the street. I understand the culture thing, that’s different. I respect that. But I had 5 kids under 7, worked full time, ran a house, cooked, cleaned and took care of my kids. He was an adult (ish). Maybe that’s why I left him boo hoo he had to do it himself and I didn’t feel bad. Last I heard he was still trying to find someone to do it for him. 14 years later, I don’t regret a thing!
My kids plates come first, than my husband, than me. If he don’t want to wait, he makes it himself. If it’s leftovers, usually he’ll make his own since he hates how I heat his up, lol. He makes mine sometimes too though, we help each other out.
Tbh, you are not his maid and deserve to eat just as much as he does.
Who cares about the in-laws. Ignore that negativity.
Now, the real question is, what did your husband say? Did he have your back? Did he defend you?
He should have shut all that down real quick. No one should be talking about you behind your back and your husband should put an end to that. He needs to make it known that he loves you and he’s going to be with you regardless of some petty opinions.
My husband would be mad if I made his plate! He would say I was trying to control him. Honestly, he would probably leave it sitting there and go make his own.
I would have his mom “ well if your so worried about his plate why don’t you plate one up for him yourself “
did he build the house that ya’ll live in from SCRATCH? does he have a garden in his backyard to feed his whole family? perhaps YOU should be the one questioning HIS WORTH if you answered NO to thee above questions LOL
I dont need to be anonymous, tell her to grow up .and give up being a slave to her husband because U will not be a slave to anyone not even her. also to mind her own business and if U are lucky enough U may not see her again. Good luck.
His response is what matters. If he feeds into their bullshit you have a problem. If he brushes it off or defends you you’re good and I’d just ignore it. Also I wouldn’t say anything to them. They’re banking on a reaction. Don’t give it to them. Do right and hold your boundaries it’s all you can do short of divorce.
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Your hubby should be getting one of your twins their plate. You should find a way to have more confidence & self esteem, it will only get worse. Good luck!
Her opinion is irrelevant as she isn’t married to you. My grandparents and aunt and uncle are like this, the husband are SO dependent on the women bringing them everything. My husband calls them out on it. We may fix each other’s plates if the other is busy with the child but no one is forced to do it
It’s a respect thing. I would just make his plate. It’s important to show family you respect your husband.
I cook and take care of the kids. My husband makes all our plates at dinner time. Maybe he should leave me. He wants to help me out as he should.
Are his arms and legs broken? No one should ever feel this entitled. Shame on her for teaching him to expect that
Wowwww that blows my mind. Shame on them, he’s a grown man. Especially if you’re busy with the kids!! You and your kids (who cannot on their own) are priority. If anything HE should be the one to get your plate while you’re helping the little ones. You should not feel bad at all, tbh I’ve never considered to plate my mans food, yes I’ll get him a napkin (cause he always forgets) but as a grown ass man he can absolutely get his own plate. You should not feel bad and most definetly not be labeled as a bad wife. You’re keeping your kids alive and doing a kick ass job at it!!
I make the kiddos plates first and then my husband’s. ALL the time. Even if we aren’t on the best of terms. In my mind it is a sign of respect. A thank you for providing everything we need. I don’t feel like it’s an inconvenience or anything. Yes, he is fully capable. But I am sure there are some things he does that you don’t yet are fully capable of doing. Marriage is a team effort on so many levels and some don’t get it because they are worried about who does what.
I would cut them off that is ridiculous divorce because I don’t make a plate for him,what the hell wrong with his hands?
At home, I usually make everyone’s plates at the same time, while my wife wrangles the 4 kids to the table after washing their hands. At functions, I make 2 kids plates and she makes the other 2 while we’re each responsible for the 2 kids were making the plates for then we usually meet up at the table put the big kids in charge and go make our plates together. Sometimes I’ll stay and she’ll go make both ours or vice versa. But it’s not my job to do anything for her nor her for me and if someone told me to be making her plate I’d probably say something sarcastic “yeah I cld…but here we are.”
Youre his wife, not his mama. If it bothers her so much she could make his plate. Perhaps if she had finished raising him he could make his own?
I set out the number of plates that we have here to eat as my kids are older, best I’m doing is putting the main course on each plate and that’s to portion out where 6 ppl all get enough, then they can do the rest. At the same time if he cooks he will make my plate. I think its changed over the years depending on our circumstances. If hes working 16 to 18 hours a day so I can be home with kids his plates gonna get made, if hes not working long shifts and the kids are older we share. To us it’s just about who’s standing the closest, who cooks, who feels better, but it’s never a demand or handed out job.
My husband makes his own plate and his mom usually makes him make mine or she will because I’m usually feeding my 2 kids
I’d be telling his mom to allow the grown man be a man and not be treated like a baby. I wouldn’t put with that crap from anyone.
It’s HIS job to manage HIS family. If he’s does not do this, you have a marital problem that needs to be dealt with first.
i couldn’t even imagine. i make my mans plate occasionally because that’s how my family is but even his family says that he should make his own damn plate lmao
I make my whole families plates buttttt that being said if I didn’t he wouldn’t even blink an eye he would just get up and make his own. And my kids are older now so it’s not like I am feeding a baby or anything when our youngest was still high chair age he dished plates. I didn’t even know it was a gender duty… such a 60s mentality on her. I say do what works for you tell her she can come dish his plate
As long as your husband is fine and ok with it, who cares what anyone thinks. However, if he has no problem with it, he needs to shut his family down with that talk. If he DOES have a problem with it, he needs to speak WITH you on it. So ask him his position and listen to him, them let him know what you think and how you feel and you guys carry on with your marriage. Life is just too short for this. Don’t hurt your head so much. I have 4yr old twin girls…no husband. I’m giving communication advice😁 Continue your awesome job with your babies,!!!
She’s a dumb betch. If he isn’t complaining about anything then she needs to shut her mouth and keep her immature antics out of your life you are raising children not adults. Her opinion is just that. Doesn’t mean anything unless he agrees.
Is his arms broken? Missing? No then he can make his own plate. Tell his family to kick rocks!
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Your husband is a big boy and he should be taking one of the toddlers to get them food. He should man up. That is what his mother should be telling him
I make my kids plates, then my husband’s and then mine. I do it out of habit and he always shows appreciation. No one has ever told me I had to though.
No Mama you’re doing perfectly fine!!! You are his wife NOT his mother. The only time i make my man a plate is if we’re at my friend’s or family and he holds the baby.
We usually both help the kids fix their plates. At home I usually fix his. If we are at a gathering i will ask if he wants me to but he usually does it himself. He’ll even offer to fix mine any time.
Ahahahaha what? This is ridiculous. Since when can’t a man manage to plate up his own food. That might be how it’s done in her family but that’s not the same for everyone’s family. I sometimes do it. I sometimes don’t. Depending on what I cook! Xx
Lmao And when you’re gone he will not only have to fix his plate, but do EVERYTHING you already do. All because he couldn’t dish his own food. I seriously hope your husband and his mother realize that.
The would hate me. I make dinner, make my kids plate and if my husband is home I sit down and he makes mine and his plate
Girl he is grown enough to do that himself. He needs to stick up for you when they talk like that. I will admit I do make my fiancé’s plate because I love him but he knows when I say I’m not making his plate he can get it himself because I’m exhausted and he doesn’t mind when I don’t get it for him. He loves me no matter what and when his family has something to say which they don’t anymore because he told them he will stop talking to them completely if they keep picking on me
Tell her to fix his plate if it’s that much of a problem, you’re tending to the children that he helped make, so while you are tending to your children, she can tend to hers bc at the end of the day, she is still his mama, and if she wants to make sure her GROWN son eats, she should make his plate…
People need to mind their business, hell where’s her husband???
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I think he can get his own plate unless he is sick or has a handicap. He should fix yours while you fix the twins plates. The in-laws need to fix his plate if they don’t like it.
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Talk to your husband tell him how you feel about it. If he agrees with his mom then you can show him the dam door because that is ridiculous
I always serve my man, kids and then if I’m lucky I’ll get something. But they come first. That’s how I was taught.
She has an old world view. Your going to get mixed opinions because everyone was raised differently.
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Well, she was to extreme with the divorcing part. But different women have different views on making their mans plate.
you’re his wife/partner. not servant. y’all did not get married so you could serve him and do everything for him. that’s his mommas job if she still wants him to be babied like that. no thank you.
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I only make my husbands plate sometimes. Like he has arms and legs. If I have to cook everything he can make his own plate while I deal with the kids. If your husband doesn’t feel like his mother does don’t worry about it. Mother in laws do that stuff often.
If he doesn’t back you up, that means that you’re married to his mother, not him. That’s what happened in my marriage, Mil manipulated him into divorcing me, which we would’ve done by ourselves at some point (more to the story,obviously). Your marriage will be an uphill battle if he doesn’t back you up, so be prepared for that.
Unless he has no hands, he is PERFECTLY capable of dishing up his own dinner. Just like he is capable of wiping his own arse.
Next time she makes a comment and your in ear shot, tell her to pipe down and keep her unwanted digs to herself.
Also what did the husband do or say in this moment? As if he sat and said nothing, then he needs sitting down and a little conversation needs to be had.
I’d make mine his plate but he works 3rd shift so he’s normally asleep when the kids and I eat. I will say when we do have dinners together, he makes his own plate but that’s because the kids eat something different (I’m normally making that) and if it’s meat, he will cut it for me. 
but, if he asks me to get him something I will and vice versa.
Sounds like a lightbulb change. Not a sell the house and get a new house change.
Don’t know Any of You, so this is My Opinion, Sounds like Your MIL is Looking for something to Complain about,And if ONLY thing She can Come up with is Something so Petty and unreasonable Your Husband is One LUCKY Man ! Tell His Mom to Butt out.
When I cook dinner I make his plate, when he cooks dinner he makes mine. If we go to a family function and its my family I make his plate and if it’s his he makes mine. It’s just what works for us. Who cares what MIL said, do what works for you.
He should do his and one twins you do yours and the others. We don’t live in the 50s anymore
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