I bet that’s not all she is saying you didn’t marry him to be his dam slave time to straighten out your household
I don’t take marriage advice from women who were wives at a time where a wife wasn’t allowed to have a bank account, credit line, car, medical procedures etc literally without the signature of her husband.
Marriages were like this and women stayed because they legally would have NOTHING if they left and would be the shunned divorcee which also meant you won’t be hired for work.
For me I rather my husband sit at the table with the kids while I prepare everyone’s plates ( including his), this way he can keep the kids entertained and in their seats. Or sometimes I sit at the table with the kids and he serves everyone.
At home or just family get togethers? Our last family get together at his families he made my plate and our kids plate. At home, I make everyone’s plates
Mama needs to shut her mouth…and mind her biz…smh
Did she say it in a super bitchy condescending way? or was she genuinely suggesting this? Cause if it’s the first one I’d lite her ass up every chance I got
His mama can go to hell. Period.
Well in that case then imo, she is a grandma/mil bc she should be helping you gather the kiddos plates so u can fix 1 for your husband. Tables have turned huh? Or maybe husband needs to help you get the girls plates and while 1 of you sits with them the other gets the other 1s plate for them.
I was taught getting a man’s plate is a sign or respect, hell my grandma even fixed her ex-husbands plate at family gatherings n I was like uh grandma he doesn’t deserve you fixing his plate his wife if here but she gave me a quick speach about it with a little of her sass.
Honestly it depends if I have time or not to get my husband’s plate. If he sees I’m busy n he don’t want to wait he’ll get his own n not think nething of it. Or he will start getting the kids first then his. I mean it’s super old fashioned but how I was raised but if a man expected me to get his plate for him I’d laugh him outta town or I’d get it and make it fall all over him. Clearly I need more lessons from my Grandma lol
Girl.your fine your mil is just being a harpy.
Ignore them . He’s no cripple he can get his own plate. What sysyfied people I. This world
I’ve never heard anything quite so stupid…SMFH…
his legs ain’t broke lol
Tell her to go back to 1957
F em lwt them talk… does your hubby say anything to u aboht it … probably not apparently they are miserable
are you supposed to wipe his ass too?? wtf
Have never made my husband a plate ever
My mom tried to get me to make my fiancé’s plate and she didn’t like that I said “he’s got two arms and two hands that work don’t he? I’m not a housewife.”
They’re petty. Keep doing your best. The question is what does your husband have to say about it?
Lord, is she married to my ex-husband?
His mama needs to mind her business
Don’t engage. Be you.
Mother in-law can go stuff it
What does make his plate mean?
Stand up for yourself
Is he broken or something?
You’re not obligated to be around them.
You cook, he get his own plate
Hand her a plate and say please show me how to be a better wife
Its hard when your inlaws dont like you. Good luck with that.
Mama needs to butt out.
Well I do make my husbands plate every night
But THATS extreme…
It shouldn’t really be expected lol
Let mommy make his plate and wipe his but. Ridiculous
If she is so worried why doesn’t she make it
He is more than capable
Put both on them in their place & tell him from now on he can start making his own plates
Tell her to F off and mind her own business. Lol.
What is this 1946?..F them all.
Toxic to you, toxic to yr kids period!!!
Does he want you to chew and swallow it for him too what an ass
Cut his toast with a heart cutter❤️
Damn mother in law’s
Screw him and his family! That’s brutal! If the mother is so concerned she can make her sons plate for him!
Shove her in the oven, then serve him dinner. Then She can die happy
Haha she’s full of shit. The ONLY people you are responsible for is your children (if you have any) but he’s a grown man. If she did her job as a mom then he should be able to get his but up and serve him damn self or send him back her way so she can finish raising him because obviously she’s not done yet.
He don’t do shit? Nah. Send him back to mommy.
This is most definitely a cultural thing. I’m mexican and we are taught at a young age the man of the house always get served by the wife.
I however think its 2021 and papá can get up and serve his own plate. His limbs work…
I cut off my in laws for this same reason, along with others. Apparently they have nothing interesting going on if talking about you and your life is all they have. Honestly, it’s sad their life is so boring. I can’t stand gossips. My husband is little contact and takes the kids around occasionally, I do NOT go around at all. Been a little over a year at this point. I wish I’d have done it sooner, my life is so much more peaceful not dealing with those who thrive on drama and creating it. Your husband is more than capable of making himself a plate. My husband no longer volunteers any information, it’s like whatever you say can and will be used against you. So we are just super private on everything anymore, we have always been to an extent, now just much more. Making/not making a plate is NOT grounds for a divorce. That’s legitimately ignorant for anyone to think it is. We are a century past this type of mindset.
Snip snip mf! Cut them off. Tell him he can go by himself if that is how they see you. Don’t waste you mental health and time on them. Twins is enough strain, then you have to deal with a foreign place where they wanna touch everything. Nope! Snip snip. He grown, he can either stand with you or behind you, but either way I wouldn’t go to their functions anymore
He’s grown and therefore, capable of making his own damn plate. Does she expect you to chew the food and swallow it for him too? There’s nothing wrong with making your husband’s plate on occasion but, he’s her child, not yours…if she has a problem with it, she can make his plate for him.
Not a bad wife at all, sometimes I make my husband’s plate if things are running smoothly and other times HE wants to make his own. Family should not be inside marital issues in my opinion, if your husband has any respect for the marriage and yalls privacy he would tell his mother to butt out and stick up for you since you aren’t given the opportunity.
This was something I found strange when I moved to CT from ME. We went to a few gatherings and comments were actually made to me,”you’re not going to make your husband a plate?”
Me,” uhhh no. He’s perfectly capable of feeding himself. His mother doesn’t live here”
It was very off putting to them. I was baffled by it.
Still didn’t make his plate though. Lol
Im sure she didnt have her hands as full when she had her kids she has no idea how hard it is. I have 5 kids with mine n another due in July. He also expects me to wait on him hand and foot
Tell her to make his plate since she’s so concerned about her son being taken care of. Fuck outta here with that
Baby. The only person you should serve a plate to is your children. He’s a grown man. He is fully capable of doing things himself. It’s not the 1950’s don’t let him or his family walk over you and make you do everything for him. Shut that shit down, quick. and why do men think it’s okay to bring their mother into their relationships? I think it’s inappropriate like I’ll fight you and your mom lmao. Just jokes.
I love cooking for my man and serving him his plate but baby I dont cook everyday and i am swamped in chores lol he helps with laundry and he helps with the kids… Different strokes for different folks
Mom’s just plain stupid. She must be a slave for her husband. I wonder who made your husband’s plate when he was a teenager and b4 yoi were married. Please not his mom. Sooo embarrassing
Excuse the language but… Bitch, you think he still needs a momma you can have his ass back because if he’s letting you entertain this conversation for more than 2 flat seconds without shutting it down. You can go pack his bag and he can go back home with you.
I always make my husband’s plates but I don’t think it’s necessary lol his mother’s opinion shouldn’t matter its none of her business ! if he listens to her .ur better off without him
You’re not a bad wife. I don’t make my fiances plate all the time. Hes grown he was born with 2 arms n 2 legs for a reason
Sweetheart he is a mamma’s boy. Leave him and tell him you don’t need another child to take care of. You want a real man and he is not man enough for you. You will never be good enough for a mamma’s boy
F**k them in-laws they should make his plate if it’s that serious he grown an his hands not broken lol definitely put distance between you all
No, it’s not right for her to say that and she should keep her opinions to herself, however in certain cultures (in this case I’m guessing Hispanic families) it’s seen as a sign of respect and is tradition.
If you and your husband are both comfortable not honoring the traditions that opposing families see as important, those need to be clearly expressed to your respective family.
So, if it’s important to his mother but he sees it as a non-issue, he needs to correct his mother, defend his wife, and give you the respect you deserve as well as thank you for fixing the kid’s plates; allowing him the freedom to only fix his own.
First of all…thats BS…2nd…tell your MIL to stay out ya business…3rd tell your husband…he needs to check his momma…
I serve the kids first from youngest to oldest, then I make my husbands plate then I eat. He doesn’t make me do it, it’s something I just do…. Sometimes I’ll have him fix his own but it’s rare…. As a stay at home mom it’s just the role I chose to do. He works so I do everything else. It’s not for everyone.
He will never be grown if his mama and family act like that. Send him there so they can try again or do it themselves.
You have to learn to laugh at that shit. It’s petty BS, but so is cutting them off over it. Clearly your husband is ignoring their advice, so unless he’s criticizing you also for it,(in which case I, personally, would be packing up), then Laugh at the ridiculousness.
Defo just a cultural thing but it’s rude of her a petty he needs to tell her all ure good points to shut her up. if his doing his job as a husband then it’s in my opinion fine to be making his plate but not her judgement if not he deserves a corner shop sandwich at best give her one too and say stick that in ya pie hole and chomp it. defo speak to him about ure feelings and even her… He should defo stand up for u tho.
LOL she’s dumb. Your husband needs to put her and the rest of his family in their place. If not YOU leave HIM.
Your not a “bad wife” because you dont make your husbands plate, he is a grown man he can make it himself! You worry about your babies
We don’t have a set thing. I’m a SAHM, and he’ll help me clean, we take turns cooking, he will fix my plate if he cooks and I cook I fix his. I’d put MIL in her place and tell her maybe he husband should divorce her for being such a judgemental bitch.
Cut off the mom and if your husband isn’t defending you, off with him too.
I always make my man and kid’s plate. It’s just what I was taught women do.
The only people who can determine if you are a good or bad wife are you and your husband. Other people’s chosen perception of relationships should not effect yours.
However, he might oughtta out his family in check.
For the record, my husband serves me. He makes my coffee every morning (and id I don’t wake up before it gets cold, he makes a new cup). I never make my own plate or get my own drink. He rubs my back and feet every single night.
He chooses to do this. I fought it at first but we’re 18 years in and that is his love language so I let him express it.
If I’m cooking I’ll make up all the plates. If my partner cooks he makes them up. Sometimes we both do it depending on the day and time and situation but so what if you don’t. I’m sure it won’t kill him to come help you for 5 minutes
I make my husband’s plate. Wouldn’t think too much of her if my son brought a girl home that didn’t make his plate. Just my opinion.
Ignore the old lady’s norms. If your husband is happy - it’s really none of her business. Tell her that.
he is a GROWN MAN… he can make his own damn plate! You are not your husband’s maid OR servant. contrary to what your outdated MIL thinks…
If he wants his plate made, he can go live with mommy.
Hes a grown man. He can make his own plate.
Tell his mom to make her son a plate herself if she’s so pressed about it.
Their opinions are definitely formed from a toxic, outdated, belief system. You’re not in the wrong at all. Keep doing you. But I feel that maybe you and your husband should have a talk about boundaries with them. He absolutely should tell them not to talk negatively about you or y’all will be going no contact. If they’re not willing to respect that then, yes, you should absolutely cut them out.
I’m sorry but his family can eat a fat one…it’s the 21st century and he’s a grown ass adult and he can make his own plate
Girl forget the cutting them off, I’d straight up feel like cutting them That’s ABSOLUTELY absurd for his Mom to be encouraging her son to divorce the Mother of his twin toddlers She sounds like an incredibly petty woman and it’s your husband’s job to take a stand and tell them to shut the hell up about his wife and respect his wife or they can stay out of your lives, period. Your marriage comes first, not their petty and ANTIQUATED opinions.
If he’s too scared to tell them, you do it. Sometimes feelings need to be hurt and people need to be confronted to get it to stop for good.
My sisters ex husband was raised that way. Eventually she told him to eat rocks and he kicked her and his kids out.
Let irrelevance be irrelevant. You’ve got a household to run. Haters will be everywhere and family is usually the worst. Remain unbothered momma.
I wouldn’t get a divorce or call you a bad wife over it, but I do believe in making your mans plate. But that’s also how I was raised. And my man doesnt expect it either.
They speak that way about you bc he allows it. They’re obviously comfortable in putting you down. He lets them.
Id make a plate and throw it at them. In my family kids always comes first.
I also want to add, I’d tell my in laws to kiss my entire ass and move on without em.
Forget what they say. What does your husband say/do?
If his dumb ass listens to his mama and believes she is right then drop his ass
I always ask my fiance if he’d like me to make him a plate while I’m already up there making my daughters plate just to save time and so he can sit with our daughter but it’s definitely not mandatory. It’s a nice gesture, that is all. Really I benefit from it cause then my daughters hands aren’t all up in the food on the tables. And at home my fiance is the cook so he normally brings me and our daughter a plate after it’s done cause he likes to prepare the plate. There is no right or wrong choice. But like i said, if he’s gonna agree to divorce you over some stupid shit cause his mama says it then peace out girl scout
The real question at hand is why is she comfortable saying that to him he should definitely be standing up for you when you aren’t around.
Tell her to sleep with him too since she’s so concerned you making his plate. Otherwise, have your man check his mama:joy:
Don’t explain yourself. He can make his own plate. Period.
I’d divorce his ass just because of his punk ass mother
Dont let her stupid old school ways bother u. If hubby agrees, punch him in the dick. If he doesnt, dont give him hell for what came outta her mouth.
Lol. She can make her own son a plate
Shes a dummy and if he listens to her he is too. Thats what I think
I wanna know what he says about it.
You’re the woman. You should be making his plate. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Tell her to go to wipe his ass and feed him. It’s not your job!
Tell his Mama to eat a
CUT that bitch off. She wanna be his mommy still then so let it be
Do they want you to wipe his ass for him too ??