Join DWIL (Dealing with the INLAWS) if y’all need more support with in laws or family !! We understand what it’s like & are here for advice or just if you need to vent
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Thank God you didn’t marry those assholes 
I wouldn’t be around them. I don’t allow negativity in my life. I don’t even talk to most of my family.
I will occasionally make my husband’s plate, but rarely as I don’t know what portion size he is feeling. Plus we’ve got kids we mostly focus on.
Does he wipe his own a**??
that’s my thoughts!
I think you should divorce him 
Woman to woman , tell his mama she is welcome to make his plate or shut the hell up. If he can’t make a plate that means she didn’t teach him to respect women . Send him back and tell that dumbass to try raising him again.
Send him to her house for every meal then
LaPorsha Anderson!! And to the fan…tell his mama to make his plate & kiss your ass!
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Jamie Buckley count urself lucky hun
Throw that shitty MIL away
Bless you MIL’s heart.
Denise Hudock Tatone I would’ve been gone years ago. 
F**k him and his plate!!!
Lol yes they do that….
Respectfully speaking f%ck her!
Fuck her on all levels
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this reinforced my intentionally single status
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Wow he is a child leave him
I divorce the whole damn family
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This is a joke right?!
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Andrew Evans
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I hope he stuck up for you
Girl fuck her and that 1950 mentality.
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And what does he say to them? That’s key to this. If he allows it, you need to kick every single one of those assholes to the curb. It is not the 50’s anymore. He’s a grown man who is plenty capable.
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You should divorce him over his stupid family smh 
Derrick Anderson lol
Wtf! Every time my husband and I go to a gathering I always get the kids plates and he makes his and mine…if it’s just us then he usually makes both of ours. I’d tell her to shove it 
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Toxic. I make my husband’s plate occasionally but only out of the kindness of my heart. Not forced.
Ignore her and your husband needs to tell her to mind her own business.
Hold that thought! My experience in laws take sides. Might think what you need to do for you. Sounds like they dont care about you. It’s a
only you. Your his “wife” not his mother. Think of your future!! Plz
I make everyone’s plate. Mine, husbands and kids, but ONLY so we can all eat together. I hate eating last. But, do NOT feel obligated to by any means. And it’s not your in laws business.
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Does he need you to put his pull up on at night night time?
I would be livid if my husband even entertained someone like that
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husbands mom told him he should divorce me because I do not make his plate: Thoughts?
I’m shocked to see how many husbands actually cook and help out. Mine sure doesn’t! He works his 8 hr a day job and that’s all he does. I stay at home and do absolutely everything else and I do mean everything else and I raise our 5 daughters. He basically supports us financially and the rest is dumped off on me. He doesn’t even do yard work. He believes that it’s not his responsibility to help me out at all including raising our girls bc he brings home the money and his days off from work are his days to do what he wants.
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My fiancé made dinner and served me my plate last night. I made dinner the night before and served him. We have 3 kids one being 2 weeks old. It’s not a responsibility. Our responsibility is to make sure our kids are fed and they always get their food first. It’s out of kindness and love that we do all the extra for each other.
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It’s y’all’s marriage if that’s not how y’all want it to go then that’s not how it’s going to go. In my house it’s whoever makes dinner makes the plates for the family which it’s almost always me but that’s just what works for my family
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I CANNOT STAND A GROWN ASS MAN THAT NEEDS HIS HAND HELD LIKE A CHILD FOR EVERYTHING. He’s a grown ass man and I’m assuming physically capable of making his own damm plate. His mom spoils him apparently so she assumes u should do it to.
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I’m sorry she said that and even sorrier that someone felt the need to share what she said with you!
How rude and unfair!
I would ignore what she said as it really has no place in your relationship!
I would calmly without being emotional bring up the comment with your husband! Make sure the point of discussing this with him is first of all to make sure he doesn’t feel this way ( I’m fairly sure he doesn’t as he would have brought it up long before now) then you can assure him that you know he’s not responsible for what his mother says.
Ask if going forward if his family says something unfair and hurtful if he would mind telling them that its inappropriate for them to comment on his relationship!
This might also be a great opportunity to point out that honestly if he could help you with the kids during family gatherings that maybe both of you could eat.
Use this as an opportunity to strengthen and unify your relationship!!
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If we’re home and one of us is cooking typically we’ll ask the other about making each other’s plates out of courtesy because we’re already dishing them up. That’s just what we’ve always done. Especially if what we’re making is portioned just enough for ourselves and daughter. But our daughter always comes first. And there are many times when we make our own plates if we’re cooking together, and he’s a kitchen eater lol but there’s always gratitude and NO expectations. If we’re out somewhere we make our own plates unless of us asks the other because we’re busy with our daughter. Every family is different and it comes down to what works best for YOU. I was in an abusive relationship before meeting my partner and he expected me to do everything and I never got anything in return. I’m talking I was serving beers to him and his friends trying to be a good fiance and accepted by his mother. don’t change what you do if y’all are both happy with your system.
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So old fashioned. He is capable and obviously doesn’t mind getting his own plate, so she should mind her business. That’s super hurtful though, that his family is talking behind your back. If it were me, I’d get his plate before the kids’ just to make a point since they all can’t see the whole picture.
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“I may not make his plate, but I do that thing he likes in the bedroom… he’s welcome to trade it out for my plate making skills anytime he chooses” say it loud and proud and walk out the room.
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I always make my husband his plate, he gets his plate right after I serve our 2 sons first. It works for my family
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Unless he Wanted to stand up to his mother for being disrespectful toward you I wouldnt eat with them again.
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Too bad the mom didn’t teach her son to be a independent man that can fix his own plate. Does she want you to chew the food for him too?
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That is not something that should be expected. It’s a kind gesture. I’d laugh it off and expect my husband to stand up for me in showing his mother he’s perfectly capable of fixing his own plate, or better yet, serving me in front of the MIL. 
This is probably why I’m divorced and single.
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My husbands cooks, cleans, helps with kids, finds time to be at every sports function and is a full time police officer with a second job working security at our local hospital, there is no excuse for a grown man not to help out.
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How does your husband feel? Both about the accusations and the nerve of saying something like that. Sounds like you need to throw the whole family away…and him too if he feels she’s right 
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I was so pathetic in my previous marriage, not only did I make his plate, I cut up his meat!
He still cheated on me with 2 of my “friends.” Is married to one of them now.
It is evil that his mom says anything other than positive things about you. The real problem is why she feels comfortable talking bad about you to your husband without fearing he will cut her out of his life. Get his fam out if your life ASAP.
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Your relationship is with him not her… I would cut her off until she understands her place… also if she really wants to get technical she is his mother tell her to make his plate and don’t forget the apple slices shaped in little hearts… we have 7 kids we take turns doing plates but we make our own plates unless one of us is sick
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My husband does all those things for me when I’m taking care of our baby. & I do the same when he is. It’s a give and take. These old folks need to get over themselves.
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Who cares what they say or think they don’t live in your house and I would hope you don’t live in their’s. And if you already know how they feel about you, why keep going to those so called family functions. And since it’s not your people but his rude people. If he’s insisting that he goes let him take the kids and you get some much needed rest. Not Mad or Upset Just Be Done With People And Their Foolishness. God Bless You And Your Marriage
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That boy is grown! Or I should hope so… if he can’t make his own plate, let his mom. But in reality WTC? That’s so dumb. I mean I always serve the kids if they’re at the house first, and he would help. Then we got our own plates, he doesn’t know how much of a fat kid I want to be that day and vice a versa I’d rather let him do it.
The mom seriously sounds like she needs help. Way to many mommas boys out there when they’re grown AF
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I’ve literally never heard of this . Weird. I was shocked by the OP because MIL is clearly insane! I’m even more shocked by the responses! I don’t want anyone putting food on a plate for me and I’m not doing it for grown ass adults any day of the week. What a strange ritual!!
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This is so damn silly to me. He’s a grown ass man, his hands aren’t broken he can get up and get a plate his damn self!
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I don’t make my husbands he has two arms two feet and two hands to make his own plate
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Maybe momma should have taught him how to fix her plate
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If he isn’t grown enough to make his own plate then have his mommy do it for him, since she seems so concerned.
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After we had children I informed my husband that since he’s a big boy now he can fix his own plate while I do the kids plates. We’ve been married almost 56 years now and apparently he hasn’t starved to death yet!
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I think the better question here is what does the husband say when his mom starts saying these things about you.
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Very high conflict of the MIL. I’d be pissed too at my husband if he didn’t tell her to mind her business & stick up for me.
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my husband cooks and serves me most of the time. I do not expect this. we both work hard. even when i was a stay at home mom i would not.
As for mother in law, mine would smack her son for that. RUN
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Does your husband expect you to make his plate or just his family? If he doesn’t then I feel like it’s his place to step in and let his family know that even though they may function that way that is not how your marriage works and they should respect how you two choose to do things in your relationship. If he expects it that is a whole different ball game and you should dump the whole lot of them!
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Cut them off. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life… when my MIL would come to my house for dinner. Everyone serves themselves - I’m no ones maid. I serve my kids because I’m their mommy. But that’s it. She started serving my husband and I told her to stop. He’s a grown man with full capability of serving himself. She didn’t argue it with me. Cause we’re in my house, and I would win.
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She should make his plate if she’s so upset about it.
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This isn’t the 1950s. He’s an adult and should make his own and one of your twins plates so you can all sit down to eat together.
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How about she serve him food! I swear in-laws can be such a pain and the reason for some divorces, your husband should put his mom in her place, cut them off before they destroy your family!!
I’m a stay at home mom/wife…my husband gets upset at me for making his plate…you shouldn’t have to make his plate & run after the twins…he should be helping you!! And id like to tell his mom we’re she could stick it…she needs to come to reality that the world has changed it’s not the 50-60s anymore!! My husband cooks (still working on the doing dishes thing ) but I’ll take what I can get…he does help when I need it!!!
Lmao. Wow. Sometimes I get my boyfriends plate ready, sometimes he gets mine ready, sometimes we get our own plates ready. Sometimes I clear the table, sometimes he does.
They’re grown men…they can make their own plates. If she has such an issue with it she can make his plate.
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That sounds like old school. My grandma does this for my grandfather and it’s like second nature to her. Tell her to mind her own business
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If you’re not a child, and not incapable for some reason. I’m not serving you. Point blank. Now, if my husband was busy with the baby then yes I’d do it for him because he’s done it for me and literally hand fed me when we were fresh out of the hospital with our son. But hell no would I do that all the time.
People can be so petty. Sounds like some other underlying things going on.
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Lol I don’t even know what to say! I got 3 kids to look after, the only chore hubby has is take out the trash… he should make my frickin plate 
I do more in a day then he does at work, yes he works and works hard but he also comes home to a clean house, food, kids clean and taken care of, fresh laundry, and so much more! I’m on mat leave but this doesn’t change either when I worked 50 hour weeks. Soooo if that were my in-laws up theirs lol
I’m a stay at home mom and I serve my fiancé sometimes. Not all the time it just depends most of the time he gets his own plate! Sometimes he’ll serve me my plate, more specifically when I’m pregnant cause he thinks I eat too little
Don’t take it to heart.
Your married to him not his family. Can choose your partner not his family!
Kids come first, sorry not sorry.
This isn’t the 50s.
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Men are just like kids and want to be treated as such. Just make the extra plate sometimes. Is what it is. Little things that count. A lil gratitude goes a long way… especially if he has worked all day… it’s some people’s culture and also how it was back in the day so his parents don’t understand this new generation and their ways. Heyyy they’ve could’ve said something worse.
Does it really matter what they say or think? If you’re happy, and your husband is happy … who cares???
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If he divorces you over that he’s not much of a man letting his mom but in, that is between you and him, no one else
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I usually get out a plate and utensils for my husband, but let him fix his own. I have no idea of his hunger level as it varies day to day. He also cleans the kitchen after we’re done with dinner. We both work 40 plus hours a week.
Each to uour own. Do what works for you and uour husband. With my ex husband I never served his food. And I had my own reasons. But in my current relationship it is different I do serve my bf. But it is a different relationship. So bottom line do what you andyour husband agree on and tell everyone else to worry thier own relationships
I made my husband’s plate all the time till we had children, then it was time for him to make his own
I have at times made his plate but it’s as a kindness it’s not expected. If he’s worked all day and he’s tired I’ll do it but only after both kids plates are made.
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As you’ve already stated plate making is a mothers job and you are not his mother. You juggle multiple responsibilities already, hold your head up high and give the middle finger to his family
At bbq’s etc my partner will ask “is that mine?” When I start serving just say “nope” and carry on serving myself. He has arms and legs he can get it himself im not his slave its a social event that he is normally standing next to the bbq for anyway. At most ill hand him an empty plate lol
How it works in our home is who ever cooks makes the plates kids first (guests if any) then spouse and self. And everyone gets served at the same time. Kids plates are made first to start cooling off. You guys are a team help each other out.
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Is she Hispanic by any chance 
it’s ridiculous people focus on one “bad” thing when you’ve done hundreds of good ones. Ignore her his hands are not going to fall off because he has to fix his own plate. What is his opinion on it?
Hahahaha. Divorce because of that? Wow.
He’s grown - he can make his own plate.
My husband and I do make each other’s plate on occasion, but mostly we make our own plate. We have 2 small children, so they are served first.
She is a bad mom for not making her grown ass son a plate she should be divorced. After all our kids should be our top priority.
I’m not a making plates for anyone over 8 yrs old. Wtf they think this is?? Stop handicapping your families and over burdening yourself ladies. Also would not want someone else making my plate either.
I think you should point out she should be the one to make his plate not you. She is his mother, and the kids always come first … The question isn’t why aren’t you doing it but more why isn’t she ? LOL
I would just tell her to mind her own business really,
Every marriage is so different,
Mine and my husband’s marriage is 50/50, at this point of time I’m a sahm because this pregnancy is absolutely taking a toll on me, causing heart issues and all, I see my husband goes to work long hours and doing a job he absolutely hates but it’s needed for the time being, yet he still comes home on days to make sure if me and the kids are ok if we need anything, if either of us get up and get food or a drink we offer to get the other some or something different, we automatically dish each other’s meals out when we cook, kids get sorted and done first then ourselves, if we are out at family get togethers at a meal Time he panics to make sure I get food or will make a plate for me when I’m busy sorting kids out, as I do the same if roles are reversed…
Everyone will find different things or ways that work with them and their family, my in-laws honestly the less I deal with them the better always has to have their nose in everything and anything and drives me crazy, always wanting to tell you how to do things or what you should do, instead of been happy for us and what we are achieving together they will always be the negative Nancy’s and fake to our faces,
If she says it again my smart arse mouth would just say, if you aren’t happy I’m unable to dish it out while I sort the twins out you do it, nothing wrong with her hands I’m assuming
If women can make our own plates, men can too!!! I understand if you’re a sahm an he works hard hours yes make him a plate, but if yall both work he can make his own. Sorry but not sorry, that’s what’s wrong with this generation. Every man wants waited on hand and foot, but yet can’t do a thing for a women.
Are his arms broken??? That’s the ONLY excuse he has for not serving himself. What is he a toddler ? Lmfaoooo
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Calm down…you are doing nothing wrong.Your mil is over reacting.She raised her son w to omg…good luck
Is he incapable of making his own plate?! No, screw’em. He is a grown ass man and take care of himself. Shoot, he should be stepping up and make your kids’ plates. Or better yet, she can do it, if she really thinks he is still a child. 
I think that your relationship is between you and your husband. So the real question is how does he feel about it. If he doesn’t care if you make his plate or not then just ignore them. If he agrees then some serious discussions need to happen.
My fiance does 90% of the cooking and he always makes my plate. I never make his plate. We basically do everything else 50/50 in general.
However, with my ex he worked and I took care of the home. I cooked and served him his plate sometimes. But that is how our relationship was.
Did he actually tell you what his mom said?? He shouldn’t have and told his mom where to go. My man gets his own food most of the time and if I cook he does the dishes and my son puts them away while I tend to our baby. Everyone pitches in.
I think you should divorce him since she didnt do her job right as his mother and teach him how to be a self sufficient, decent member of society. Fark that noise
First of all it’s no ones business what happens in your home. Second of all he is grown and can make his own plate. I do all the cooking and we all make our own plates. Once in a while I will make my significant other his lunch but it’s not expected and always appreciated. Tell your mother in law to stop.being nosey.
He’s capable of making his own plate. If his mom feels that way, she should come make his plate every day for him then. It also wouldn’t kill your husband to help make your toddlers plates and give you a break too