I think he should be helping with the kids plates or make sure you have a plate. and he should be taking care of and helping you
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My ex made our plates for us and I thought it was so sweet until I got to know him and realized it was to control how much we ate…. My ex
Any husband should never allow his mother to say some bs to or about his wife Love my momma but she knows what is and what is not her buisness but I would very quickly remind her if she stepped over the boundry.
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That’s old school moms. I make my husbands plate when I feel like it. And if I don’t he knows that his hands are not broken!
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I’d tell them to piss off- are you suppose to wipe his ass too? He’s a grown man and none of their business as long as your both happy! It’s a dinner plate 
I’ll make my children’s plate but not my husband. He is a grown ass man. Thankfully, he doesn’t expect me to this for him. If one of us is up, we’ll ask if the other needs a drink or something but it’s definitely not “expected.” If he expects someone to “make his plate,” he should go back to his mama. Let her do it. If I were in your situation, I would talk to him about this. Let him know how you feel. Make sure he understands how upsetting their comments are to you. I hope you know that your feelings aren’t inferior to his.
I remember being at my in-laws when him and his dad came in while I was changing our baby his mom said I needed to go fix him a sandwich and I said he has 2 hands and knows how they never said I needed to fix him anything again
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You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your in-laws. Ignore them
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I make my husbands plate unless he cooks them he makes the plates I get 50 million questions when it comes to the kids plates but he does his best. At family get togethers at his family’s places he makes his own plate and I am in charge of the kids and my own. At my family’s place I make his plate and the kids. Oh and after he cooks he has to clean up his mess.
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Who cares what his family thinks you only need to worry about what your husband thinks!! If that is what he thinks then you should talk not divorce!! Marriage is hard work
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Yikes, I would for sure just ignore it. You’re in fact not his mother but his wife, so you’re doing the right thing tending to your kiddos. I got rude comments as well before when my Inlaws found out I didn’t pack my husbands lunch everyday. I do a lot for him, but he almost does nothing like that for himself and he never expects it from me so he is the one who told me not to do it. 
things are different in today’s day in age.
I have noticed in some cultures it’s considered “rude” or “disrespectful” if a wife doesn’t fix her husband’s plate. I mostly do make my husband’s plate but it’s because I like it to be plated the way I’m serving. Only a few times a month will I just kind of do a “self serve” thing for the whole family. I’m not personally bothered by it but you shouldn’t only do something so you’re not judged
We’ll put Mallory oh, I agree with everything you said
The only time I’m making my husband’s plate at get togethers is when he is making the kid’s plates. Usually he makes my plate because I’m busy making the kid’s plates.
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Hahahahahaha…no.
My husband makes his plate, I make mine. And we both make the kids, occasionally I will make his or I will ask him to make mine if we are in the middle of something. It isn’t a requirement in our home, and he knows that. 
the kids get their plates made first then we make our own.
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I’m more interested in what your husband had to say to his mom about this than what that old bag thinks of you.
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That’s so funny! My beautiful husband is usually the one making my plate, getting me drinks, and making sure I eat. He knows otherwise I forget while chasing the kids to make sure they eat. He is such a gentleman!
And I don’t say anything like this to brag. I say it because ladies be with the person that treats you like a queen and takes care of you. I also take care of my husband in so many ways… And that is my point. We do things to pamper each other and please each other because we are best friends and lovers.
I see so many questions here and read stories that just blow my mind. People are not mature enough to be in a partnership. They make little fires everywhere over absurd things.
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very sad,… he should be defending you
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Smh. Making a plate shouldn’t be the deciding factor on “being a good mom” that’s a little ridiculous
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my fiancé likes to fix my plate and honestly it doesn’t matter , tell her to fuck off
Hahahahahhaha MIL needs to mind her business
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He has 2 feet and 2 hands what I told my mother in law when I fixed my own plate and sat down to eat
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Shoot your a GOOD woman,but I know his hands are broken and the MIL Needs to stay in her Lane.
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Imagine what she’d have too say about my husband being a stay at home dad while I work - send the old hag back too the 60s
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Girl my ex’s mom told him to put up hidden cameras in the house.
Tell her about the other wonderful things you do for your husband. Make it awkward 
Then ask her if she does those things for her husband. Look her straight in the eye, tell her your marriage isn’t her marriage, and that the things you do to please your husband are none of her damn business.
So why don’t she be a good mom and fix her son’s plate so that she lables u as a bad wife… Let her get off her miserable ass and do something constructive then to sit and badmouth u… I think u a great mother cos u are making sure ur kids eat first and that’s how it’s supposed to be
I’ve never understood this whole make your man a plate thing my man is an adult he has two hands I’m taking care of a kid. Do I occasionally make his plate? Yes is it expected know
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Hang on a minute you said you have twins so why isn’t he helping by getting your food or helping with the twins??? What did he say to his mum?? She obviously still sees him as a baby that needs wet nursing has she not realised he is a man yet. If he agrees with her make sure you point out that you have 2 children and don’t need a 3rd so he either steps up and tells her to back off because what she is saying about you is very hurtful if that doesn’t work and you feel strong enough to then have a word with her yourself and just explain that he is an adult and very capable of helping himself while you tend to both of his children good luck 
don’t be afraid to stand up to her it doesn’t have to be a war.
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Really, his mom is a bad mom because she didn’t make her baby son a plate 
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He is an adult and is and should be quite capable of dishing his own food up. You are his wife and not his mother nor is he a child
“Man baby” comes to mind as a term. Many of today’s men expect everything to be done for them and give little back.
If she’s so worried ab it she can make his plate. The kiddos come first and moms are lucky if they ever get to eat their meal warm bc we’re always doing for someone else first. He is perfectly capable of helping out and making his own plate.
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Why can’t a grown adult man make his own plate? He should be helping with the kids then you can all four eat together. MIL needs to mind her own business.
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Don’t judge this is enough
I’m sure when I was very little she did, but I can’t remember my mother making my plate, let alone, Daddy’s.
I simply remember that our family learned very very early to PASS the dishes to your left around the table. We each took a little bit of everything. Nobody began eating until the last dish was back at its starting point.
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Sounds like she’s old school. Be kind that was what Mom’s taught daughters way back when. If he hasn’t complained no harm no foul.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husbands mom told him he should divorce me because I do not make his plate: Thoughts?
Uhm he can definitely get his own food
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Stupid and insensitive in laws were the problem.
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He can fix his own plate. We don’t live in those times anymore. He needs not to be taking you somewhere where your disrespected like that either…set the standards high for the twins to be taught to serve a man. No thank you
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F that! If he wants someone to make his plate have his mommy do it for him or he can make his own plate. He seems like a big mamas boy.
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No, you are a busy Mom and he is grown. He can fend for himself while you take care of the kids. If she is so concerned with him nor having a plate made why doesn’t she step up and help you with the kids?
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Is his family Mexican, because if so it’s normally a Mexican thing… but he should definitely get his own
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He’s grown, he can get his own food
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I feed my kids first and then make a plate for me and my husband 
though my husband can feed on his own but I love doing it for him, I guess it’s a choice. I have a good in-laws fortunately 
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Nope my husband makes sure we all have food before himself. That’s the way it has always been even before the kids. 
its just her OPINION. Id cut them off but thats just who i am
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My husband makes our daughters and his plate. Then I’ll get mine. We are all different
You didn’t marry them you married a man who’s still dependable on his mom
I’d tell mine he better take up for me or I’d stop slaving over those dinners (with kids under my feet the whole time). Then there won’t be any plates for his asshole family to complain about.
Emily Higgins nailing it
He can make it himself! Long gone are the days when women had to “serve” men. As husband and wife you are in a partnership where both contribute to every facet of daily life. You are already taking care of yourself and your kids. I’m sure he can handle making his own plate.
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If he actually divorces for not making his plate then honey he isnt the guy for u. Its not the olden days anymore. Ill my my bf plate most of the time but that just cause i make the kids plates first then plate up ours after and take both into our living room so we can watch our shows. There is days i dont do it and he dont care. Honestly he gets mad at me cause i do it almost everyday
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Your not alone,I don’t make my husband’s plate at all,I have 4 kids,one that is just now learning how to make his own plate & the others still need someone to fix their plates for them,so I’m usualla the last one to eat when we have a get together with the family. He can definitely fix his own plate & his family shouldn’t be telling him to divorce you cause of that,that’s crazy that they do that,you have your hands full,if anything,he should be fixing you a plate for you 
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Next time tell her ass he don’t need her titty anymore lol
How does your husband feel about it?
If he agrees, then maybe your mother in law should have raised a better man, that was raised to understand marriage is a partnership and y’all pick up on where the other one needs it. At home it’s whatever but family events he needs to get his ass up. You’ll make his and your plate when he makes the kids plates.
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The real question is what is his response to her saying that? I bet there’s more going on that has made her come to that conclusion not just over a plate sorry
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This seems like a cultural thing. I have questions though. How did your husband respond to this suggestion? Does your husband WANT you to make his plate? Get answers to those and then move forward.
If I made my husbands plate, he’d look at me like I had 3 heads. He always says “are your taste buds, my taste buds?” Lol.
Tackle each situation with kindness. It may be very difficult for her to understand. My mom is European. Family dinners are very important. We can’t eat if someone is missing and it’s very stressful for all parties. The ones who are waiting and the ones who are rushing to get home. It’s not necessary.
So, we set a different expectation. Kindly.
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We left the 50’s decades ago
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I’d laugh in any one’s face who told me that. His mother can take him back. 
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MIL can be such judgemental assh*les!
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Tell her she’s more than welcome to come over and make his plate! And while she’s at it, tell her to come wipe his ass too!
Completely ridiculous. I’d tell her to mind her business
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He is a man he can make his own plate or starve. I make the kids plates and then wait for my 15 year old brother to make his then I make mine. He typically makes his when I make mine. Mine would starve before I went through all that.
Sounds like it’s her job
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Send that boy back to his mama:rofl:
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This isn’t 1950 he’s grown his hands or legs aren’t broken. He can make his own
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Thats the old traditional way. God says you are equal…not a maid…You are to submit…I don’t think he means that way…
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Well he needs to put her in her place.thats uncalled for and non of her concern.my husband works 55+ hours a week,we have 6 kids and I stay home.i make the kids plated and by the time I turn around he has my plate made already.its about taking care of each other not what other people feel u should be doing in YOUR relationship
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You dont.need him if he can’t pick his own food put it in his plate
Mother in law.needs to mind.her own life
Your doing your part he grown ass man your his wife not his slave. Let do his own plate
I think you need to worry less about other peoples judgements.
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He needs to put her in her place i wouldn’t deal with that
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What?! Lmao. That’s a grown ass man. I make my bf plate but only if I’m feeling nice
He should put her in her place. The fact that she feels comfortable to say that to him is red flags 
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I make my bfs plate a lot but he for sure doesn’t expect me to. I do it when I can and if I’m busy he does it himself. No reason to call in divorce
Not every wife has to be fully submissive! It’s ok that you don’t make his plate
Well if that makes you not wife material, fine. But then if mom isn’t fixing her son a plate, that makes her not mom material… He should consider himself an orphan… lol what’s good for the goose is good for the gander…
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Tell her to shut the f up if he wants to eat he can fix his own your not the maid
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With my last 2 exes I started making their plates just to be nice and then it became expected and unappreciated. Fast forward to my current boyfriend and I offer to fix his plate or something to drink and he absolutely will not let me. He says he can do it himself. But just an idea, if they’re comfortable enough to bash you to him, he might also be doing some bashing. My ex husband was doing that
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Oh my goodness what a crock of crap. So you take care of the kids, clean the house and do the laundry and all the other million things you do because you don’t fix his plate they think that’s grounds for divorce?? That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. I know with some families it’s expected. I have a specially seen this and Hispanic or Latino families. Ha ha my ex-husband was Hispanic and the women always fixed the men’s plates. Guess what I never did LOL. Sometimes they would look at me funny but I didn’t care I’m American and it’s not my job to fix his plate when I was working a full-time job as well. He was lucky he had food at all. Now my mom and dad have been married for over 60 years and she always fixes his food and his plate but that is just how things were at that time and she still continues to do it I don’t know if it’s out of habit or because she truly likes to do it. But she’s done it for over 60 years but certainly the rest of us don’t do that for our men. I feel like they can make their own. I work full-time I don’t have any kids but I take care of laundry, the house and I work full-time and he can make his own plate if I’m fixing the food.
I don’t get my fiance his plate he is grown he can get it his self.
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Have him start making ur plate at said functions, then u are guaranteed a hot meal, he can feel good doing something nice for you, and it’ll put her right over the edge , check mate♟️
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I would say that to my DIL but I would be playing around. I would also tell my daughter to make her mans plate.
My son’s would probably be the ones making their wives plates honestly.
If that’s the only thing they can find wrong with you honey, let them talk. In the mean time pack his bags and send him back to his momma and she can fix his plates
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Hahahaha he is a grown ass man and can make his own plate. If it’s that big of a deal, he can move back in with his mama since she wants to do it so bad. Also, he should tell him mom to mind her own business and I’d tell her to kiss my ass
Mine makes me a plate when he sees me struggling with my little one at a get together. As you said it’s sometimes difficult to get a bite in yourself (btw cannot imagine how crazy twins would be). I try to make his at home when he gets home from work. Because it’s teamwork. We take care of each other.
I’m not sure I’d cut them off but definitely talk to your husband. What is he saying in response to this nonsense? Obviously he didn’t take her advice but if he is standing up for you awesome. If he is not he needs to know how you feel and tell them to stop.
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Hahahahahah she wants him to divorce you over that? I think maybe she needs to learn thT grown ass men can get thier own plates. Kids should always come first. If he can’t make his own plate he can wait till last or not eat at all 
The fact he’s using “wife material” and “job as a wife” is enough of a red flag.
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Why is he such a mommas boy when he’s got himself a wife
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How does he respond?
I fix my SOs plate(usually) but when I’m busy he fixes mine, along with the kids of course. I think she should be ignored unless he’s being a dick about it now.
And he said what to his mother in regards to this and other comments? My ex I’ve told me that he liked the way his mother made hamburgers because she toasted all the buns before hand. I told him if he didn’t like the way I cooked to go back home and live with his momma. He told her that and she laughed. She turned to me and said good for you!!!
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Don’t make his plate and make sure when she’s there to call him in there and announce he’s about to make his own plate like a big boy.
Then walk away…like.a.boss. 
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Isn’t the guy the one suppose to make a woman’s plate??
I make all my mans plates and we have a 2 year old. He works 6 night a week over nights and hes an awesome father … I love him and he works hard to support us . He is so tired that is why i take care of his plates
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Either he can make his own or he can wait a few extra minutes for a plate, Next time serve her ass dog food
It isn’t the 1950s! If she thinks he needs a mommy to take care of him, then he can live with his mommy
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She needs to mind her business. I loathe women like her. Disgusting that she thinks that way.
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I can’t imagine fighting over who is serving plates. But my husband and I are a team and switch off making plates. We always include eachother AND the kids. It’s not hard. I wouldn’t cut off in-laws based on that comment. Talk to them about it. You’re family. You guys will irritate eachother sometimes. But to cut them off because of one comment is bizarre. At least talk to them about how the comment upset you.
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His not a baby…get up and do it youre self
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