My in laws are demanding I allow them in the delivery room: Advice?

My mother-in-law is demanding that I let her and my sister in law in the delivery room with me…what do I even do? I am not close to either of them and won’t feel comfortable with them staring straight into my vag as I go through something very personal, and for the first time…my husband said I am selfish because this is their family too, but I really don’t want them in there and feel like they are taking away something that is supposed to be a very happy moment for me. I would prefer it if it were my mom and my husband, but he is mad, and I don’t know how to go about this…

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My step mother tried to pull the same thing after helping my husband and I out one time. I simply didn’t tell them when I was set to be induced or when I went to the hospital. They got a call after baby was born.

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Nope. The only person making demands regarding my child , is me. Yes , dad helped create the baby , but he’s not the one pushing a whole human out. The perfect labor is all about the birth giver , any thing that is going to cause you stress

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Put your foot down!! You only get to enjoy this moment once…dont let anyone ruin it. Any emotional or physical discomfort can interrupt the birthing process and could even lead to complications. If you want YOUR mother there, then invite her there. She created you, NOT your MIL. She has zero place invading your personal experience. The fact that they demand to be there knowing it would make you uncomfortable is selfish of them! Stand strong and tell your provider that if they try to attend to not let them even near your room.

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Your husband is being a jerk and a bully! You don’t have to let anyone in not even him. I would remind him of that. You need to set clear boundaries with him now about that baby or this will keep happening to you.

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Ask him if he wants your parents in the room if he gets a vasectomy.

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Just straight up tell them that you don’t want them there. Even the father isn’t guaranteed a place in the room if it makes you uncomfortable, and anyone who demands to cross your comfort zones, after being made aware of them, are not the type of people you want in your life, especially with a new baby.

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Hell No!! This is the your choice. It’s the most personal thjng you and your husband will experience together. Giving birth is not a family event! If you let them take this over be prepared for them to push thier way of parenting on to you. The next 18 yrs will be a struggle. Explain your feelings to your husband and maybe compromise if he doesn’t get on the same page. MAYBE allow then in for a an hour after your settled and then they can wait in the waiting room and come meet the baby after you and the baby have settled in and spent time together just you, daddy & baby. Let them stay an hour tops. You will need your rest so don’t let them push you.

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No one can demand to be in the room during labor and delivery. It’s your choice who you want in there. I was so strict on only my husband that I actually told my sisters who had been hanging out for hours to get lost. Be strong! Your husband should respect your choice and all the family can come in postpartum, when your lady bits have been tucked back away. That’s the way I did it. I laid there recovering while my husband passed the baby around to all the family.

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Your husband’s really gotta understand the importance of your needs at this precious time. Are u able to convey carefully how you are feeling and how much you need his support? He is key to what needs to happen since he is responsible for your care and protection as your husband. If you can sway him round to seeing things from your perspective without sparking any turmoil then you are 90% of the way there. Appeal to the values that resonate with yours that you know will persuade him.
All the best

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If he wouldn’t be comfortable with YOUR MOM AND SISTER** in the room while he was having a colonoscopy or prostate exam he should understand that you are not comfortable with HIS** family looking at your vag! It’s a very VERY vulnerable state for YOU not him it’s not an event that needs spectators! ONLY people you are **COMFORTABLE WITH ** get to go in and if that’s too much for him then let him and his family think you’re selfish for wanting to be comfortable in such a vulnerable position it’s not him that’s gonna be on display with about 5 nurses/doctors already looking at you let coochie !

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I had a baby 7 weeks ago, You’re only allowed 2 birth partners currently with Covid and that’s only in active labour! My husband was allowed to be with me between 9-9 while I was induced

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Wow!

Would he be happy if this was reversed and your family staring at his bits…?

You invite who YOU want in the delivery room. This is a very special moment and if you are uncomfortable with his suggestion then tell him and say it’s not up for discussion.

Some men just don’t understand how personal and intimate this moment is, it’s your body and your choice.

X

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My in laws are demanding I allow them in the delivery room: Advice?

Say no and you can tell the nurse when you check in who is and is not allowed

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I told my former in laws no…they didn’t bother to show at all. Oh well

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Try to explain it’s a happy moment for everyone but you are more comfortable with your mom and husband.

Nope. If you don’t want it don’t allow it.

No way tell him to bad it’s your choice your the one in labour

Not her place to demand things. Your delivery your choice as to who you want in there.

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Tell them they said you can only have 2 people bc of covid. Even if they didn’t 🤷 I mean I usually don’t condone lying, but in this case it’ll protect everyone

Tell him that he can wait outside too if he wants to act like that. The nurses listen to what the mother wants.

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say no simple it’s your vag hun it’s not their place to be there just say no

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Just because they are family does not give them the right to be in the delivery room. You are the one giving birth to that baby you have every right to choose who you want in the delivery room.

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Heck no. You’re the mom, you’re the one giving birth, it is YOUR choice. Doesn’t matter who you make mad, it’s not about them.

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Oh well, stand on how you feel. Say no

Hell no. Especially since they’re demanding it. I’m very surprised they would even be allowed in there with Covid-19 restrictions and all. Good luck with that crew going forward.

Tell them no that’s your choice to make not theirs

Say no and tell him you will have him out yo if he doesnt respect your wishes. The family can wait to see the baby when You are ready.

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Say fuck off I said no. YOU are the one delivering. It is about YOU

Tell him if he wants them there, he can take his pants off the entire time too and see if he’s comfortable with your mom being there :upside_down_face:

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Make it just you and your husband and no one else.

Tell them no, and tell the nurses. They won’t allow anyone in that you don’t want :blush:

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Tell them no… It’s a very private thing for YOU! it’s your body, your vag, your choice.

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Hell no. That’s just me I’m not very close with my in laws either. I had my mom and husband. No one else, it’s definitely very personal and your the one giving birth so ultimately that’s up to you honey.

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It’s your body your baby your choice

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Dont give in…itll hurt you later
Say no and ask them to understand. Period.

Or just blame it on ur dr
Say only 1 person is allowed

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Tell them no and tell him if he don’t respect your wishes, he will be in the waiting room with them! You are the boss in that room remember that! Your body your rules.

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It’s your decision, the nurses will help you manage who you want in and who you don’t.
Blame Covid!!! I don’t think they are letting more than one person in anyway! New baby and germs nope! They can wait in the lobby.

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Tell the nurses when you go in that you only want your husband and mom in there. They will do all the dirty work of telling them they can’t be in there! Also, your husband is being a bit childish by getting upset about this. It’s your body, your the one that’s gonna be there with your legs spread open for everyone to see, your choice. He he can’t respect that and be on board with your decision, then I’d be sitting down having a pretty serious conversation with him.

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Tell them no. Your the one having the baby. You need to be comfortable, not him and not his family. Mother in law can be in delivery room with the daughter in law she wants in the room. Stand your ground this is about you ur husband and ur child, not them.

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When I see posts like these I’m glad in my country Malta :malta: they only let one person in delivery room.

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Tell them no and from the sound of it your husband shouldnt be in there either since hes tell you they should be in the room

Tell your husband to spread Eagle in front of your parents for at least an hour - then you will consider it. :roll_eyes: this is YOUR day. You demand- no one else.

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Have dr say no. Just blood relatives and hubby.

Trust me, my ex father in law was in the room and it made it suuuuuper weird.

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Girl BYE. No one had a RIGHT to be there. It’s your decision only. Tell the nurses station NO VISITORS. Stand up for yourself.

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Its ur choice… say no…tell the nurses and doctor…

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Umm NO! This is where your husband needs to step up and tell them no as well. If he has a problem with it I’d be telling him he can wait outside with them.

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Apparently your husband ( mammas boy)is used to catering to his mother’s desires no matter How Absurd…Your Opinion Is The One That Matters

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U have a right to say no . Ur the One givingg birth and dont need anything that Will cause u more stress. U need to be as comfortable as possible.

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Only one person allowed case closed covid rules once he there he can’t leave

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Could you compromise? My SIL was there while I was in labour, and she doesn’t need to sit down by your vag either, so my SIL had that with us and than when it came to the actual pushing she went in to the waiting room, baby was born and she came in. They should be willing to compromise since it’s your BABY and your vagina on display spread eagle. I think you get the say.

Tell him he can decide who is and isn’t going to be in the room, when he has a baby shooting out of his vagina. Do not let them pressure you. You and the baby are the ONLY priority, and it’s whatever makes YOU comfortable, since YOU are the one birthing the baby. If he doesn’t get on board, his ass can wait outside too! :woman_shrugging:

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I had like 10 people in the room the first time I gave birth, the last time it was just me and my partner. It is so much less stressful just the two of you. They should understand if you don’t want them in there. And if your husband has a problem with it kick his ass out too.

Tell your nurse. They usually are really good gatekeepers.

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Then just make it your husband only.

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As long as that is the reasoning and no underlying agenda put your foot down. Lol.

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It is up to you and only you. Tell them you just want it to be you and hubby.

It’s your body your choice. Just be straight up. You can always tell the nurses who is allowed and not allowed in beforehand too

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I am very close with my mother in law and still she was not in the room my mom and fiance were there and i had 1 friend that was in and out of the room the whole time. I looked at it like i have to push this baby out i get to pick who get to see me in that personal/vulnerable place. My mother in law was one of the first to see after waiting in the waiting room

Woah! That’s a mess they are mad and demanding to be in the room. Your pregnancy, your body, your baby, your experience. Please, just say no. No sorries. No apologies. No means no.

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With covid thats too much people …only your husband should be there

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You are the one giving birth, it is about YOUR COMFORT, and your experience with YOUR BABY. Their presence in the delivery has zero impact of the bond they have with your child. Stand your ground.

I didnt want anyone but me and the babys daddy the only reason my mom was there the first time is because I was 19 and scared as all get out he was only interested in watching his baby be born lol after that they all stayed out no one even came to hospital really

Say no, if you are worried asked the nurses to help keep them out. You need to be comfortable during this time.

Tell him Covid restrictions prevent more then 2 people. It may not even be a lie depending on when and where you give birth.

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This is just the beginning…

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I only allowed my husband in the delivery room. Tell him he is supposed to support you. Just say no. You will have a life time of trouble where your child is concerned if you do not set boundaries now.

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Let him stay mad! You said NO!

Who cares what they want?

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yeah, that’s a hard no. that’s completely up to you.

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Don’t tell them when you go into labour. Simple

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It’s 100% your choice. You want your delivery to be as stress free as possible, if that means having only your mom and hubby there then that’s what you do. It’s selfish of your husband to not back you up! Also, with COVID. I doubt they allow that many people in there.

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Then I’d tell him he can sit out in the hall with his mom and sister and I’d have my mom in there with me!!!

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Mom and dad need bonding time with baby first and skin to skin nursing not to mention some people poop on delivery table

It is your right to refuse or allow someone into the delivery room don’t have anyone ruin that for you. I honestly didn’t care I had bunch of people in the delivery room with all three kids lol.

Tell him get over it. Your vagina, your choice. My sons dad tried that with his mom and i threw a fit!

Set things up NOW with boundaries, starting with this, or it will only get worse. Saying “NO” as a sentence is essential for not only you but your baby. You can do this plus tell the nurses that only your husband is allowed in the delivery room, and they will make sure no one busts in. This is YOUR family’s moment, a very vulnerable one for you as well, don’t let anyone take it from you.

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Your vagina, your choice

Demand that they pay the bill…

In the uk you can only have two people in with you. And currently due to covid its been only when you are in established labour so like 5cm + xxx

I wouldn’t even let my own mother in until the baby was all the way out lol. Thats something you and your husband need to enjoy. Not the whole neighborhood.

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You can always ask the hospital not to let them in

Nope wouldn’t happen. Let the hospital know you don’t want them in.

Because of covid only he will be allowed x

This is your delivery and baby. You have the right to decide who you want in the delivery room. If your husband can’t let it go, he can stay outside of the room as well :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Even having as good as a relationship as I do with in my laws I would not have them in the delivery room. I feel that is completely a moment for the parents to enjoy. Plus I did natural & ill admit I screamed I dont want anybody to be apart of that lol. You’re not selfish. They can see the baby once the baby has arrived.

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I only allowed my husband in delivery with me for both my kids. This is a special moment the two of you… they can wait outside until the baby is born…

The medical staff will take care of who you choose to have in the room. Make a call to the Dr whose delivering and be specific. HIPAA protects you all the way.

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Stick to your NO! It is YOUR vagina :rofl:

I had my Mom and husband. Hell no on inlaws

Its ur choice no one elses its ur body and ur baby if it makes h uncomfortable then hubby should respect that my ex when i was pregnant with my son demanded his mum was there and I stood my ground x

You tell them no and make sure the hospital knows they are not allowed in.

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Don’t call anyone till baby born

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Your the one having the baby, your body is exposed and if he doesn’t like it than he doesn’t need to be in there either!!! No way in hell I’ll be letting my mil in the delivery in December. Boundaries need to be set!

No. That’s all there is to it… no. You don’t even need an explanation to your husband. Keep your foot firmly pressed to the ground. Stand your ground mama. This is NO ONE’s decision but yours!

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If you don’t want to make your in-laws upset, tell the doctor before hand who you want in there with you. Besides we’re in the middle of a pandemic, I’m sure their not allowing a lot of people in delivery rooms anyway.

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They’re demanding you?… sounds toxic. No thanks. This is YOUR and your HUSBANDS child. They’re not entitled to ANYTHING.

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I don’t know where you’re at but since covid they only allow 2 in our hospitals. We’re in Alexandria, louisiana

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