Leave. It’s most likely not going to get better. I can understand the in law’s intentions wanting to help but it’s not helping when those lines are being crossed. You and hubby are the babies parents not the in laws, they need to get in the back seat and let you guys do your job.
2 Likes
If you have a baby you should also have your own home. 
Problem solved.
3 Likes
Well they are only trying to help and no offense but you live in their house so if you don’t want this to happen then get your own place…now as for them going over what you say for your child that is unexceptionable
1 Like
I would be super upset. Have you tired mentioning it?
1 Like
You don’t like it, move out.
You can’t do anything if you live there, a child will walk only where ready anyway, but if you want boundaries then you will have to get your own place
2 Likes
Overreaction ma’am…kids walk…they also grow up…maybe give that 2nd one a try 
3 Likes
I used to get mad too. But I then realized they’re just trying to help. My mom and sister helped my baby walk
1 Like
I think you are overreacting and are lucky to have in laws that want to play with and help with the baby. I would enjoy it while I could. And if you dont like it move out!
3 Likes
You did not say if the GMA watched child while you worked. If so not much you can do. If child was in daycare, they would teach them also. If you are a SAHM then you could be there to reach him also.
2 Likes
you’re lucky to have the help. Sorry you feel like she’s stepping over the boundries but she loves your child as much as you do. I’m willing to bet she has no idea you feel that way. Try communicating your feelings but also try to accept her help better. There will be a time when you no longer live with your in laws and you will miss the help.
1 Like
I mean… you can’t really change when he decides to start walking. Are you gonna be made at daycare if he starts walking while there? Shes doing what any person would do - supporting them in their learning development.
1 Like
Be thankful your child is loved
Wow, part of being an adult is having your own place, especially if you married with a child. So, the first step is to get your own place and stop depending on others for room and board.
6 Likes
You live in there house. Maybe it’s time to move out into your own house and then you won’t have to worry about the grandma going behind your back.
2 Likes
I’ve been in a similar situation. People being bitchy in the comments doesnt make sense. Walking is a big first step and of course you want to be there. Maybe tell her youd love the help, but preferably while you’re present. I almost missed my son’s first steps and I was pissed lol. Its YOUR baby.
6 Likes
It takes a village to raise a child. That means there will be many people who help your child grow. Your in-laws are helping in many ways. It is natural.
2 Likes
A Boundary is yours to say no matter how big or small it is your child and if somebody is doing something with your child that you disagree with it is your right to say no and to stop it. I set a toy/gift boundary with our family. I have returned things I asked not to be bought and I was indeed the mommy monster. I didn’t like having to pick up the 50 million toys that were only being played with once every 45 minutes, I was told” that’s what kids do” said nope, I’m not her maid and I do not want the toys. I encourage them to donate or keep them at their own home if it was that important to them. Respect is a hard fight to teach another person, stick to your guns!
1 Like
I get this completely, however a child will walk only when ready. Watching your child learn to walk no matter who is helping him will undoubtably bring you joy. Having ever present in-laws is a different challenge. Engage in an open dialogue to share how you feel, but be careful to remember they love your child too. Respectfully set clear boundaries. And as a momma of 4 without able to help nearby family— take advantage of the kindness and enjoy those few moments of you time.
Y’all need to be living on your own
5 Likes
I think a good way to respond to her responding to baby when he says “mama” is remind her that you want to make sure he learns who is who, so ask her what she wants to be called and start teaching him that that is her name in front of her. Its helpful for the baby to learn those things.
Trying to teach the babe how to walk is a good thing, like people said, its just another way of playing and interacting with baby. Find reasons to be thankful what your mother in law is doing, and thankful for the extra help.
Be more intentional with how you want things to go, in a respectful manner, as it is her home.
3 Likes
I’m 22 years in, and I’m telling you, you must establish firm boundaries now. It will only get worse and you’ll have to live with resentment forever. And your husband needs to be on your side 100%.
1 Like
1st step- Get out of their house! They will not respect your boundaries until you do. Just speaking from experience.
6 Likes
I LOVED living with my in laws when our 1st was newborn (shes 7 1/2 now). It was AMAZING. Yes, there were things that bothered me. Yes, there were times me and Mom had fights. I told her how I felt and she told me. We worked it out LIKE ADULTS. She has taught our daughters (we now have a 2 yr old as well and have been out of her house for many years) SO many things that I could NEVER teach them. She has wonderful advise for me as well!! Does that mean that EVERYTHING is ALWAYS wonderful?? NOPE!! Sometimes she tell them yes when I say no. Sometimes she buys them things I don’t want them to have. She’s like EVERY SINGLE GRANDPARENT. She loves them beyond words and would do anything for them. They are her baby’s babies!!! Try talking with her!!!
3 Likes
Over reacting for sure
I am a grandmother and great grandmother and while I feel what you are saying, you have no idea how much joy the little ones give us. Please try to share. Maybe you could just talk it over calmly with them and explain that this is your first time with these experiences and they had theirs.
4 Likes
I’m a full time granny nanny and if I can do anything to improve a child’s development I am willing at anytime- I know when to stop like if the mum wants to be the first to introduce her to anything new to Eat or do stuff like pearce ears then it’s her right as a mum but development like toilet training trying to say the abc or rhymes I’m there and the parents are happy
2 Likes
I feel you! I always wanted to do the FIRSTS with my girl but had to go back to work as much as i appreciated help from my mum and hubbys mum i felt disappointed if she did something new and used to get annoyed but i had to just get over it i was a working mum x
1 Like
I feel you, I have lived in a similar situation. I even got the phone call whiel at work that my daughter took her first steps… (I cried like a baby after I hung up) I know how frustrating it is. I have no advice tho… I got fed up took my kids and moved. 🤷
Answering to mama? That’s a hard fucking no & everyone telling you to deal is an asshole 
id save up money to move out
4 Likes
Its best to live on your own when u have a family or in laws do get in the middle and cross the line
2 Likes
When baby says mama she needs to correct him but you probably just need to move out
Move out right now!!! They think they have authority and can do what they want and they will never get that they can’t …trust me! You and your husband are the parents not them. Let them know the boundaries and if they can’t respect that and that you will always have the last say then don’t let them see the baby anymore
1 Like
All Your babies frist are You.I understand if You can’t afford to move out.But I would spend more time with the baby away from the house if possible💞
If it matters to you, it’s a big deal. All you can do is talk to them and tell them how you feel, or move out ASAP. It may be their house, but your family = your rules. I hope it works out for you. 
1 Like
As a mother who this has happened to I totally feel your pain. I do not believe you are over reacting, because simple fact being that is your child. Now you should be telling them why this is hurting you and trying to talk it out before anything else is done. Now if this doesnt work I suggest you guys move, it gets worse.
But if the baby is being looked after by strangers is he or she still going to do these things with them as you have to work. So I would much rather my mother or mother-in-law be the one with them and not strangers. I don’t get it.
1 Like
My daughter, son-in-law and my almost 2 year old granddaughter live with us (they’re saving to buy their own place rather than rent) and I do completely understand it can be messy sometimes and lines blurred but I can assure you that the grandparents absolutely mean no disrespect and rather than berate them you should consider yourself lucky! I promise you as the baby gets older he/she will absolutely know you from Gma! My babes calls me Lola and my mom GiGi , when she accidentally calls either of us mommy we just correct her with the right name
I can also promise you that even tho us grandparents love, love, love our little ones we certainly didn’t plan on parenting again when we should be empty nesters living the good life! 
4 Likes
Unfortunately this is the price you pay when you live with family members the best advice I could give you it’s for you and your husband to get your own place as soon as possible because no matter what you do is never going to stop
I would do anything to have my kids experience their “firsts” with my parents or in-laws…i didn’t have the option…so a creche witnessed our babies’ firsts…whilst we. Dad and Mum, worked. Appreciate the Grans and Grandpa’s that Love Your kids unconditionally. You will never get these years back. However these are memories they have created for you and your Kids…be grateful.
2 Likes
I’ve been thru this… Draw that line and NOBODY cross it… Period
1 Like
As someone who also lives with their in laws, I can tell you it is okay to speak up. My MIL has told me several times that if she’s over stepping to please tell her. But I am grateful for everything she does.
1 Like
Also, you people saying “get your own place” may be overlooking the fact that they may be struggling, or the in laws may need help health wise!
1 Like
I had to deal with this with my first born! And yes it hurts but if you don’t have anywhere else to go you learn to just deal with it because no matter what you say or do them in laws gonna try to take control.
1 Like
The first baby steps of walking should be with the babies parents
1 Like
Move out on your own and then you will realize how blessed you were.
3 Likes
Are you really complaining about his grandma? While cares who teaches him first. Don’t like it? Move out of THEIR house
5 Likes
It may seem like they should just realized they are inappropriate, but they obviously don’t. You will need to make it crystal clear for them. Such as doing a separate meal time with you and your child and not them so you are the one parenting. When they chime in while you are disciplining or talking to your child, hold a hand up and say no please, I’ve got this. When they answer to mama, say no you are grandma. I am the mama. These are my children. Important things like meals, bedtime, naptime and bathtime do alone without them. Even if they want to help. It established you as the parent. Tell them the boundaries that you need them to follow. Your husband needs to back you up on it too. You will likely have to repeat yourself. It is important to set the pace now for how they interact. I hope you can move out on your own soon as that will make it easier.
3 Likes
Responding to mama is a habit. It takes time to reset your brain. Especially if you live with them. Trying to show your baby how to walk is interacting with them. It doesn’t matter who shows them. They are not going to walk until ready. I never showed or worked with my second daughter, and she walked around things at 7 months. This sounds more like you resent the amount of time they spend with your child than a boundary issue. Maybe it’s time to move. That would solve your problem. If you can’t, then stop being so territorial. Spend more time working with your child on walking. That way you won’t know who taught him. Cut her some slack for mama. She answered to that for a lot of years. Old habits are hard to break.
2 Likes
I find open communication works wonders
1 Like
Depending on his age it might be developmentally appropriate to call others mama. If he is just learning to walk he prob can’t say grandma. Ugh.
I guess you would rather him sit in front of the tv all day? You should be glad they are interacting with him.
Let me guess…they are providing free baby sitting as well. 
2 Likes
Have you tried having an unemotional conversation with them about how you feel, no blame like you make me feel, but just explaining your feeling upset and vulnerable and how much you value their support and advice but how it’s so important to you to be active in these milestones?
2 Likes
You live with your in-laws and u think u get to set boundaries?
1 Like
Wow folks…is this not meant to be a supportive thread? Let’s cut the judgment and offer kindness and encouragement? The world’s dark and sad enough! In terms of my advice to you, dear Mama, I’d say speaking up doesn’t have to sound mean or rude. The baby is your child and it’s perfectly understandable why you would want to experience “firsts” with them. You can still appreciate and love your in-laws while still setting boundaries in a loving way, “_____I appreciate all that you do for us and how helpful and good you are to the baby. It really means a lot to me to teach him/her to walk. I appreciate you understanding…” 
1 Like
You are right to feel the way you do. This is motivation to get out… you can’t be a parent living WITH your parents. Everyone is gonna start to resent eachother trust me. Done it.
You have every right to feel the way your are ! Speak your mind and set boundaries ! You are mama and always will be mama no one can take that from you ! You got this girl speak your mind 
Maybe y’all could think of getting your own place…problem solved!
You’re in there house of course things like this will happy. Either be happy that your child has so much love under one roof or move out.
Maybe you should be a grown up like your supposed to be and move your ass out and then you wouldn’t have that problem.
You have every right to feel that way and you need to put your foot down or things will get way worse!
2 Likes
Your in their house, their gonna do what they want to as grandparents. Bottomline, move out.
24 Likes
Yes! I’d be so mad 
I see why it hurt you but kinda hard for them not to be part of your child learning new things when y’all live in their house. Move out
16 Likes
The walking doesn’t get to me as much as answering to “mama.” That would drive me insane if anyone did it- my mom, sister, in-laws, etc.
5 Likes
You are absolutely allowed to feel that way! Your in laws had their turn at all those milestones! It is now your turn to enjoy and have those milestones for you and your hubby!! Stand up for yourself and your child! Don’t allow the overstepping
3 Likes
Move out. Get your own house?
17 Likes
Not at all the first time walking is a huge milestone. And if you want to be the one to help him along the way you should. My sisters friend kept trying to my sisters first son to say I love you to her, and it worked. To this day that still breaks my sisters heart.
I lived with people and they don’t know it bothers us. I simply ask people/family/friends to let me be a parent. I’m the parent. I decide for my child, you don’t.
You aren’t their parent. I am.
If they try to argue.
I sternly say I said what I said. It’s not up for discussion. 
3 Likes
First time she’d answer to “mama” I’d be more hurt than anything. 
Thats YOUR child. Whether you live with them or not you’re the one that sets boundaries when it comes to YOUR baby. You have every single right to feel this way especially as a first time mother.
4 Likes
My own mother oversteps her boundaries, but its really because of love. It can be a pain, but i I wouldnt hate them for it. No matter how angry i get, she loves my kids and thats important comsidering ive read horror stories of grandparents not wanting to be involved. It takes a villiage to raise a child, and not everyone is going to constantly agree with each other. If it bothers you so bad and hubby and in laws wont comply with your wishes, move out because it probably wont change. They are used to their habits. That’s why i hate living with people lol
8 Likes
You live in their house. That’s going to happen. You need to move out.
13 Likes
You can’t really say much since you are living in their house…move out and they will not have the opportunity they have now to do these things.
Also…many infants call other women momma so this isn’t really a huge deal. My nieces and friends children have called me that…I just correct them as they do.
9 Likes
No. If you want people to stay out of your business, move out.
9 Likes
I would be greatful. I have AMAZING in laws. I have 2 daughters ages 1&6. I would be lost without my mother in law. We live down the road from them. She is like my girls 2nd mama. I’m so thankful they have someone besides me to lean on. Alot of people look at it as a bad thing. But try to change your perspective of it. If they are active grandparents and treat you with respect you have something to be thankful for.
13 Likes
They’re just trying to help him. Lol this is funny. I guess you don’t want your child to walk
5 Likes
Get your own place, problem solved.
14 Likes
Grandparents just see it as they’re helping out and loving on the child, they won’t know you think it’s a problem until you tell them. Cmon, they can’t read minds.
3 Likes
I wouldn’t like that, either.
1 Like
Get your own place Duh!
7 Likes
The mom thing. No.
The walking thing…girl bye 
7 Likes
Stand your ground. You are momma and no one else
Sit down and tell them how you feel. Tell them you understand that you live with them, but she is not allowed to answer to Mama and she isn’t allowed to do whatever with your child. Set your boundaries now and start looking into moving out soon.
1 Like
Yikes. All kinds of wrong going on here. Yes you have a right to be upset, that’s your child. They’ve experienced ‘firsts’ with their children, why would they take that away from you and your husband? Extremely weird she answers to mama as well, like what?? I’d move out asap.
4 Likes
Nobody is supposed to ‘make’ a baby walk… but if it makes you feel better my inlaws are the same when they visit, standing the baby up, and encouraging her to ‘walk’ between them and so on! I think its what GPs are supposed to do (be annoying like that!) In any case no advantage to the child being encouraged to walk any earlier than they are developmentally ready, if their muscles aren’t ready they wont be able to support themselves. Its not a matter of them wanting to do it, more being physically ready! If you live with them you’re choosing to parent with them too, and such a blessing for the wee one to have many adults ready to help and love them. Probably not worth rocking the boat over
5 Likes
I see alot of comments saying move out maybe there not in a situation to move out on there own right now, that’s why ahe on here asking for advice
2 Likes
While you do have a right to ask them not to do things that you as the momma don’t approve of, you can’t really do a whole lot if they don’t listen. You live under their roof. They’re going to be with your child a lot. I love how much my boyfriends mom helps with my son, but if I lived with her I would kill her! Because I know how she gets. I think a lot of grandparents overstep. They usually do it out of love and because they’ve already raised kids, so they think they know how it should be done.
1 Like
I would talk to them. Tell them it hurts you and also not to answer to mama.
I feel like everyone involved in the child’s life is supposed to do this. They are encouraging the child’s developmental milestones. I understand why you might feel hurt. But I’m sure it wasn’t done to “overstep” or “hurt” anyone.
You wouldn’t want to have people in your child’s life that don’t want to help them in their development
3 Likes
Do you usually get along is the first question? If you are bumping heads prior than I would have to let them have an ear full. Been in this same situation only a bit different. My in laws had my son walking and never shared the video they had till a year later of his first steps. My husband didnt have a problem but it had me furious. All depends on your relation between the in laws . <3 best of luck. Cause in laws can be awful to live with
There is absolutely nothing wrong with grandparents working on milestone skills when you’re not around. The reality is, many moms miss the first time a child does something because they’re not with their child every minute of every day. If they are involved enough to be actively engaging with and teaching your child, be happy. You and your husband are not the only people in the world who will teach your child things.
That said, the “mama” stuff is weird, and going beyond your decisions or word is overstepping. Be clear about your boundaries, and if it isn’t working out, you two need to figure out how to move out so you can make your own rules under your roof.
2 Likes
Not healthy to live with the in_Laws.
5 Likes
Be grateful! It takes a village!
2 Likes
Nip that in the bud…trust me it gets way worse as they get older and you have more kids. Mine are just like that.
1 Like
Have you talked to your mother in law? Let her know you understand at this stage of development it’s exciting to see and hear the new things baby is doing! Then follow it with something like “please correct him/her when he calls you Mama. Let him/her know _______(Nana, Gigi, Grandma) will be right there”! As for the walking thing, unless you are there with your child 24/7 someone besides you at some point is going to encourage many “first” activities! This is developmentally appropriate in a way that teaches baby and also creates a play based learning environment. So unless there is some reason outside of “mama should be the one”… you’re going to have accept that it takes a village! Ask your in laws to record like crazy so if a “first” does happen it’s caught on tape!
2 Likes
My mother in law and my mom tried to take over quiet often when I had my son and even 6 years later when I had my daughter and now being pregnant with my third they are always telling me to this or that , I just smile and say okay and do my own thing .
2 Likes
My husbands aunt watched my youngest son and he came home walking when I picked him up 
I wasn’t prepared and I felt bothered I didn’t say anything and maybe I should have flash forward 5 years I wish someone would get my new baby to crawl 
3 Likes
Yeeees you are so very right to feel that way. You must set boundaries and STICK TO THEM.
1 Like
Honestly, my young kids call my sister, their sitter, and basically any mom at a play date “mama”. They know I am the real mama, but they also can’t remember everyone. If you hear your child call grandma “mama” just correct your child by saying, “Oh that’s grandma. Do you want grandma to pick you up? Do you want grandma to get you a snack?”
As far as walking, no one is going to teach your child to do that. It is something they learn on their own honestly when they are developmentally ready (and kids reach that readiness at different ages).
As others have mentioned, you can’t do much when you live with them. Saying something could make things very awkward. Only you can decide if it’s worth it.
1 Like
Even if she’s in their house, set boundaries about answering to mama and about over riding rules and discipline because if you don’t nip this in the bud it will get worse. Trust me. My mother became the reason my son had no respect for me because every thing I said to him she would say tell him it was different or take away a punishment or tell him “mommy’s overreacting. There’s nothing wrong with candy before dinner.” As far as the walking thing… She probably just wants to share those moments with you. Grandparenthood is just as exciting as Parenthood in some ways so let her enjoy some of those milestones too. But do NOT let her take your place or undermine your authority.
1 Like
Hurry up and move out then!
5 Likes