What is so hard to figure out she is the momma her baby her rules
I don’t give a shit what momma in law wants she should respect the mother of the baby full stop
No that’s your kid you make the rules. if she can’t follow them then she can’t see him! I completely agree with you! Just try talking to her about it.
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I mean don’t let your son go over there if that’s how you feel? But you can’t expect everyone to baby your kid like you when it comes to crying. As long as he’s fed, changed, and has been cuddled for some time, I don’t see anything wrong with it. And I don’t see anything wrong with juice or water at 8 months whatsoever considering some doctors ok baby food even before 6 months. And if she has things to do, I can understand her taking him with to the store. Keep him home if that’s how you feel in my opinion. When my son goes to my MIL house, she knows my rules but he’s at their house, they’re obviously gonna do things they’re way.
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Look, I see it this way… if you are trusting your child in her care and he’s being taken care of, then why bitch? She’s helping and giving u every weekend off… ALOT more than some ppl get.
My MIL is the same way! She doesn’t listen to me so guess who hasn’t seen her grandson since March! I’ve asked her to make changes and she said right now she can’t maybe later so my baby must not be that important.
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No following boundries. No having baby.
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Don’t let him go !!!
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Oh stop… you are lucky to have extended family like you do. Nothing wrong with juice and water at that age. If you are that concerned why is your child going? It always bugs me when people who have babysitters because let’s be real you aren’t letting her have him out of some charity reason, then complain about it and act like the grandma taking him is you doing something for her… your husband seems to have survived and she raised him… be thankful or watch your own child.
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Don’t let her take him then. She won’t ever take your rules seriously if you don’t put an end to it. If she wants to visit, she can go to your place or you/dad can stay while your son is there.
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Having a grandparent is such a blessing, growing up I was envious of everyone I knew that had grandparents and not having them effected in me in many ways, I had just 1 but I never saw him as he lived in another country. It truly made me sad. And to anyone in the comments suggesting she stop letting her babies grandma see him anymore just because she doesn’t follow a certain way is absolutely disgusting. To deprive your child of something so lovely like a relationship with their grandparent. You don’t have to agree with what she does, you don’t have to let her keep doing those things… but there are so many other ways to deal with the situation then just cutting someone out of your child’s life. It’s selfish , even though you think it’s not. When your child is older and asking “why did I never see this grandma of mine” and you say “because she gave you juice and water” then you will have a bigger issue then your child consuming water. You will have a confused kid wondering why you took away their chance at a relationship with grandma over these little things…
talk to her about it, if she doesn’t listen at the most just say she can’t have the kid alone. But in the comments people saying to completely not her see the kid… 
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My mil doesnt watch my kids because of these exact things.
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Your husband mother I need say no more, your baby stop her, every weekend? Why?
This is your child not hers. She needs to follow your rules or just stop letting her take him:
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I would of lost my
Marbles !
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Show her the recommendations for an 8 month old 
and a study on how crying it out isn’t healthy. Show her why you feel this way. Best of luck!
I battled this so hard with my mother in law to the point I lost it and we started yelling at each other. To me it was simple, I set a role and as being the child’s mom they should respect it. Well she yelled at me do you honestly think that I would do anything that would hurt my grand babies. I love them so much I would never do anything if I thought it would cause them serious harm. I had to sit back yes as their mom I will always know what is better or best for my children, but someone going against that isn’t an attack on them they just are caring for my child in a different but best to their abilities way.
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8 months old and he goes every weekend?
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i will tell her in a calm way, " although Im very grateful you help take care of our kid, I will appreciate it if you follow the rules that we have set during these trying times… and if you can NOT follow them then we will have to limit his visits with you… which will hurt everyone if we do…"
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Family is more important and your child’s relationship with that family! Be your husbands peace in this. Say you know what I’m going to stay about your Mom. Be glad she’s alive. SHE will be one of your kids reason they smile, laugh, felt supported. Tone it down a little. Is this your first baby?
I guarantee you you will not even remember this 20 plus years down the road.
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I don’t mean to sound rude but if people aren’t willing to follow my parenting choices I don’t allow them to be alone with them 
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Nope. I’d put a stop to it until they realize your serious 
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That is to much time away from you. Let her come visit.
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Child is far to young to be going on weekend sleepovers.
Stop this at once…look after your own baby.
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Not acceptable at all.
Dont let her take him
Ok I agree with ot traveling with covid but you should thank her for the rest
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Why are you allowing your 8 month old to sleep out every weekend if you don’t agree with what they are doing with your child?
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Why is he leaving every weekend anyway? If you are so uncomfortable then why let him go?
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It’s a toughie! It’s different times right now with Covid, maybe she doesn’t realize how worried your are, shrugs it off. Have a heart to heart with her, let her know you feel upset. Some bad habits the older generation have like letting a baby cry it out, seems way out there to us. Have a good talk
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Yeah don’t let her take him until she’s serious, but how do we know she’s doing what your asking when she goes
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Don’t let her take him again until she respects your wishes. I have cut my grandmother out of mine and my child’s life because she doesn’t listen. Protect your child and your boundaries. Your MIL needs to learn her place now before it gets out of hand.
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No, you are 100% right.
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Nope think I would be keeping my baby at home… she can come visit at your home or u can go there to visit a few hours… especially if she can’t honor ur requests, grandmother or not your the mom and how u believe ur baby should be raised and treated is your say not hers… she should not be taking him anywhere with this virus going around, and I most def dont believe in letting the little angel sit in a room and cry it out at 8 months … nope I would stop the over night visits, just my opinion…
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No one, family or not, would have my child and not respect me enough to follow my wishes. No way would my free weekend be worth it.
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Yeah I don’t think that’s a good idea… I would rather keep baba at home and end those visits. Especially while COVID runs rampant…
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Don’t let him go, simple as all get out. Toxic is toxic. If you let her continue to do it, he’ll come home at 16 with a tattoo gramma let him get.
(Yes I know, unlikely😂)
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Why in the world would you allow anyone to take your 8 month old for the weekend ? Are you working ? No way would ANYONE get my baby every weekend. Dont expect her to follow your request ,shes proven she wont . Watch you own kid !
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I would not let that woman have my child
My Mom could care for my son for a few hours not my MIL for the same reasons as you. Never a weekend though. Not even overnight.
Dude, every weekend. Dont you want to see your baby?
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Uh fuck that. She doesn’t get to see him if she can’t follow the rules. 
simple as that. Wanna see him? Come to my house where I can supervise you. No visits alone if that shit is gonna happen
Nope! Nope! And nope!!! Tell her if she can’t respect your wishes/rules then she will not see him on the weekends until she does. At the end of the day that’s YOUR child
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No, you are absolutely NOT wrong for getting upset. I don’t think I would want to send my baby there again. The things that you have said in your post are completely reasonable. Babies should not have anything to drink besides breast milk or formula for the first year. And as for taking baby out, absolutely not ok. When it comes to crying it out, that should definitely be respected. I understand she is grandma, but that doesn’t give her permission to do what she wants.
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I am a great grand ma, i would never, ever leave a baby to cry it self to sleep. No way, you do what the parents ask you to do with there child. Some say whatever you know what to do, but i don’t believe any child should cry them selvex to sleep
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Nope I would not be ok with it. As i strongly disagree with cry it out method there is no need for that at all. Also my sons 4 and I just started bringing him back into stores he wasnt allowed up until restrictions here got lifted a bit where we are. Also no juice and water is ok but small amounts. Since it’s hot out I would just give a colder bottle of formula or something instead though (that’s what I did with my son he never liked to drink formula warmed up anyways always had to be room temp).
If she doesnt follow rules then she cant take him that’s what I would say
She wouldn’t be taking my son any longer. Mad husband or not.
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Stop sending your 8 month old to your MIL if she can’t respect your rules. As soon as I found out someone especially my MIL let my 8 month old “cry it out” it would have been done with immediately. My kid my rules you don’t like that then to bad.
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Thing’s was different in the days we had babys so she’s probably doing the things she knows to do.things were different back in the day
No your not wrong. If she can’t play by the rules then she doesn’t get unsupervised visit. This is your child NOT her’s. Your husband needs to Man Up and stand with you on this.
If you want to self isolate because of COVID, then just keep him home. She doesn’t have to isolate just because you want to, and he’s potentially getting exposed every time he goes there whether she takes him out or not, because she’s not isolating.
Honestly I’m the mum that has rules. I have a no juice rule for my 3 year old, a no sugar rule (fruit I’m fine with but no cakes, chocolate ect unless special occasion like birthdays ect.) people laugh at me, I’ve had grandparents, family members and other parents roll their eyes and tell me to calm. I think it’s really disrespectful. She had her time raising your partner when he was a boy. It’s now your turn.
I know grandparents want to spoil their grandchildren. What I try to get across is kids don’t remember if you gave them a chocolate 5 weeks ago but they do remember that their poppa took them to the park and spent time with them.
When it comes down to it you are the parent and if you really don’t want your child having juice ect you are going to have to have a tactful conversation about the giving of juice. It doesn’t have to be rude or heated. I would most likely ask your partner to talk to his mum as he is her son. He should be on your side and you shouldn’t have to ignore it. It’s not even really about the juice but the ignoring of instructions that would concern me. I would just say I really would prefer if he had water Only. (Or formula only - sorry just re read your post) I really don’t want him having too much sugar can you please stick with water.
If it still keeps happening after that Especially the crying it would - which would personally be my biggest worry - I would be limiting from every weekend to maybe just when you need it(every few weeks or only when you are desperate) she needs to respect you every house has different rules and people need to understand that this is what works for you.
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Stop sending him. Period.
You are the mother you decide
Your husband needs to put his foot down with his mother. Men have a hard time doing that but once they do it the very first time they usually never have to do it again. Until he does it his mother will not respect you. She treats you this way because he allows it. As soon as he puts his foot down she will respect you from now on.
actually getting him to do it isn’t easy. Try not to come off demanding or like you are ordering him to do it.
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Nope. First offense would’ve been it for me. Baby’s safety and health is most important, if she can’t respect that then I wouldn’t let her around him alone period. Idc who she is. Not worth your baby’s safety appeasing some woman who clearly doesn’t have their best interests in mind.
No you are not overreacting. I would be furious and my child would not be going back. No matter what age you can set rules for your child and her going against your wishes, especially putting him at risk, is unacceptable.
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Tell her it’s your rules or she’s doesn’t have the babe x
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I would not let that fly. You made those specific choices on how to raise your kiddo. I’m sure you’re a great mom who’s researched and consulted your pediatrician.
I have to tell my mil the pediatrician says we can’t do this or that and that’s honestly the only way she listens.
I’m the mom I make the rules. If you don’t respect them or undermine my parenting you lose privileges to visit with MY child.
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If you’re watching someone else’s baby you should do what they want done with their baby. I am firmly against CIO for babies. There have been multiple studies done to show that it raises a baby’s cortisol levels and can be emotionally harmful for them. I’d be pissed if my mother in-law let my baby cry themselves to sleep. If it’s not what you want done with your baby then don’t leave the baby with her anymore. Wait til baby is older
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Speak to your partner first and explain why it bothers you so much. Talk and get on the same page then you can speak to your MIL and just explain how grateful you are for all her help but you would like xyz to happen and just see how it goes. If you can’t explain to your partner and help him understand where you are coming from you will have a hard time getting thru to your MIL and may end up causing a rift with your partner. So start there.
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The amount of grandparents on this thread that have the mentality of it’s my house my rules, and I’m a grandparent I don’t have to follow the rules makes me even more thankful that my kids grandparents respect me as their mother and follow the rules I have set for them🤦🏻♀️
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I’m a grandmother and I let the parents make the rules. I don’t give advice unless asked. I am more permissive when they are with me than I was with my own children but the big stuff is decided by their parents. I have a great relationship with both of my DIL and I intend to keep it that way
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I am a grandma and I spoil my grand babies. I and I am sure that grandma is not putting the child in harms way. Grandkids needs their grandparents. If you have a problem then don’t let her babysit. If you and your husband can’t find a sitter and don’t have funds to pay for one then you will be staying home. Until you don’t have a grandparent then you won’t remember the memories and love they give to a child.
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Grandparents spoil kids, they also go by old school rules. My parents let my boys watch movies to go to bed, eat donuts for breakfast, have can’t, pop and whatever else. Not following a schedule.
We don’t see them often so I just let them enjoy their time.
I’m not in the same boat as you with having grand parents close for the kids but I hope you can give a little grace to them. Grandparents won’t be around forever. You want your kids to grow up and have great memories with them.
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I wouldn’t be comfortable with that many rules broken. I’d suggest getting your husband on board first and then having a sit down talk about it with MIL. Unless you can come to an agreement or compromise you’re both comfortable with, she may not be needing to take your baby for so long. Also the trips with baby would be a nonstarter for me. No. She can’t take him out right now. She can grocery shop when he’s not with her. Period
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I get the fact that it’s special time with Grandma but it is possible to spoil a grandchild without undermining the parent’s rules in the process. He isn’t old enough to understand the difference between your place and Grandma’s place yet, so having the conflicting rules will lead to trouble down the line. I think your biggest problem in this situation, though, is lack of support from hubby. If he’s not willing to enforce your rules, MIL never will either. You have to both be on the same parenting page. None of your rules are unreasonable. Cry it out doesn’t work if there’s no consistency; there are other non-sugar options for drinks (water should be fine as long as it’s with food); and she can absolutely go shopping on the weekdays without him.
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I wouldn’t worry about juice/water. I did at that age with my kids. Small amounts. Is not going to hurt them. Most grandparents believe in CIO. If it makes you uncomfortable, then you just have to have a serious talk with her, but chances are, it’s not going to change. She may say it will but you won’t be there to know. As far as going out during covid, she should respect those wishes. She can do her shopping when she doesn’t have him.
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Personally, I’d be super ticked. I don’t make up rules just because…and I’d be absolutely livid about taking him everywhere with the COVID thing. Also, if I’m not sleep training, and you’re doing that, it’s just cruel, because it’s not doing the baby any good or helping him sleep. If you don’t want to rock him to sleep before I sleep train, then don’t take him. 
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In my opinion, grandparents are more than welcome to bend the rules and spoil kiddos-----when at a more appropriate age.
I do not believe that at 8 months old she should be allowed to over ride your requests. Absolutely not. Especially when it comes to diet and health precautions.
I would allow her supervised time only until she can learn to respect your wishes.
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No, you’re the Mom and you make the rules. I’d stop allowing her to take him. If she wants to see him and spend quality time with him, than she can at your home while you’re there to monitor what goes on.
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I would speak up if I were you. My husband and I spoke up with my MIL. She didn’t like it but too bad. They’re not her kids. For me, if you can’t follow my rules then you don’t get to have the kids.
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No, you are not wrong. He is your child. You make the rules and decide what is best. Talk to her and let her know if she cannot listen to your instructions, then she no longer will have extended day visits with your son
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No she cant have him if she isn’t going to respect reasonable parenting requests. Trust me it only gets worse. My mother in law has no respect for me. Never did. My husband died 12 years ago and she has tried very hard to turn my daughter against me. After I gave her time with her granddaughter
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Had a similar experience…my child, my husband and my house! You have to take a stand, esp. now! Sorry, hubby, you, too! Mamas not always right…love her but, boundary must be set! Good Luck!
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Nope! Tell your husband to grow a pair and address your concerns with his mother. Your child, your rules.
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Your your baby and if your uncomfortable step up and say something!! My parents are FANTASTIC grandparents, and they respect our rules. My mom says “we can spoil them, without undermining you as parents!”
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I’d be WAY more mad about the sleep training than taking baby places honestly. But I’ve also had to take my kids everywhere since everything started and their immune systems are doing great! Mine are also a bit older than your babe and 9-10 months was a rough time for my son getting sick because his immune system WASN’T very strong then because he was small. But this is also about respect and if they can’t respect you, the mothers parenting, then they don’t get baby.
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Put your foot down and set boundaries. With her and your husband. You are the mom and clearly have his best interests at heart.
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The first time she ignored my rule not to take my baby out shopping during a global pandemic would be the last time she saw him. Mom, put your foot down and tell her no more visits.
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No do not feel bad. My 19 month old, 9, and 8 year old haven’t been in a store in months. I would keep him away from her until she respects your boundaries! I dealt with the same thing. It was horrible
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He is your child and it’s your rules. The more you let her do and say nothing the more she will do what she wants and think it’s ok or if you’ve said to her what you want and she ignores it and you say nothing she will walk all over you like a door mat. Think you need to speak up. Good luck x
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Your baby your rules. I am a grandmother and I follow the rules. I have never been fussed at so I follow the rules out of respect and love.
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Absolutely Not. Refuse to let your child go with her and if your husband is so laid back about it, let him go with his mother.
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I wouldn’t be comfortable sending an 8 month old off every weekend.
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give them an inch and they take a mile!! If it were me I would tell her if it doesn’t stop, she ain’t getting him no more. It will soon stop then, Your baby your rules!! 
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Personally I don’t see a problem with any of these… it’s personal preference. By at this point your getting the weekend to your self so if you don’t like how she’s handling it just visit and don’t let him stay.
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Nope
Raise your own baby.
She can come visit. She’ll still be a grandmother. You will be sorry in years to come if you don’t. I promise you.
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This is just my thoughts, she raise her son good enough for you to fall in love and marry him. I don’t think two days a week she will do harm.
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YOU are the mom- if she won’t listen to your rules she doesn’t get to babysit. Full stop.
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In a few months you will forget all about it when your kids picks up random food on the floor and eats it. It isn’t worth getting upset over. All grand parents spoil the grandbabies. At least she doesn’t lie about it. I don’t like the cry it out method when it is not under my care. Maybe limit over nights if that is her style.
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Come on having juice on the weekend isn’t going to kill him choose your battles. Mil isn’t going to be around forever so let him make those memories. He’s only8 months so who knows if he’ll remember her or not. But these things seem petty to me.
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Cry himself to sleep. Nope. She would not get my kid
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Your child = your rules. If she can’t respect that, then she shouldn’t have him.
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Spoiling him is not letting him cry. That alone would make me stop letting him go over. Juice??? At 8 months? No. Taking him around during hell to the no. Put a stop to it.
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Moms rule should matter more than anything. If someone isn’t complying family or friends, they can’t be left alone with the baby period. That’s extremely disrespectful to ignore what the parents want for their child
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Your child, your rules. If she can’t follow, she doesn’t need to spend that time with him.
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I think you are being nitpicky and should feel glad and lucky your child has a grandparent who takes time with them. Juice water isn’t going to hurt your child crying isn’t going to hurt your child. As far as her taking your child out with COVID going on talk to her… maybe she isn’t going out as often as you think maybe when she goes out she is being cautious and caring hand sanitizer and keep you child clean and safe IDK just talk to her… The other crap just let it go
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Totally valid, if you want things a certain way with your child tell your MIL that and if she cant respect it then your child no longer goes with her alone
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I’m looking at it as sges doing you a favor … be happy or keep him and dont get alone time .
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