Eww I’m mad for you, not cool.
Water is a must not the juice
If that was my kid I’d have my husband’s ass for saying then then I’d have his mothers ass for not listening to what she can n can’t do with my child
No ma’am… that’s YOUR CHILD
Water and juice??? Really??
Good grief! Will any of these things kill or maim him for life?? She is a grandma and she loves him. My MIL would never take my kids ever. When they asked to stay overnight - she would say she has to clean the basement. Just be glad she cares enough about him. Your husband survived her parenting and he must have turned out ok cause you picked him to marry. Get over it!!!
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If you are that uncomfortable with it then stop allowing the visits. But I will tell you there are bigger battles to worry about. Yes it is irritating! My own mom doesn’t listen to what I have to say. But grandparents have been parents for at least as long as you have been a live. Maybe longer. Letting go of that control is a very hard thing to do. The best thing to do it keep telling her you are not ok with what she is doing. If she does not make an effort to abide by your rules then you have to decide how big a problem you have with her actions. Somethings that you want done your way, in the grand scheme of things not really be a big deal. There is no one right way to raise a child. It is a matter of opinion. You have to decide which of your opinions you are willing to fight for. It’s a tricky situation. You have to decide if these issues are something that you are willing to give up your free time on the weekends. She is taking him over night which gives you a nice break. Are you willing to give that up to over these difference in opinions? I’m not say you should. I’m not saying you shouldn’t. Everyone has their own line that they just aren’t willing to cross. If these issues are a big deal to you then stand your ground. For me the only issue you talked about that I would be willing to put my foot down would be the taking him out in public right now. To me that is a big deal. I would talk to her about these others but I wouldn’t let them stop her from watching him. But that is just me. I was a nanny and special ed teacher for years before having my twins. Things that bother a lot of new moms don’t bother me. The more kids you have the less ridged you are. So I’m not going to pick fights over a lot of things. But you have to do what you are comfortable with.
In my opinion the Ol’ Hag would not take care of my child ever ever again . Good Lord ?
From personal experience, you and your hubby need to be on the same page or it’s going to cause huge issues with your marriage.
You are absolutely right in feeling upset. Both with her for not respecting your boundaries that you have in place for your child, and your husband for not having your back. This is HIS mother. He needs to have a come to Jesus moment with her.
If none of those things happen, you will grow to resent them both. My child will be 3 in a month and I just now realized that me having no relationship with people who cannot respect my wishes for my child is the best thing for me. Thankfully my kiddo is old enough to say “no” or “stop” and can tell me the things that happen when I’m not around. But with a little one, you gotta put your foot down and be firm. Even if it means walking away from a toxic relationship (the in-laws). But first, talk to hubby and explain why you feel the way you do. If he still doesn’t even slightly get your point of view, you might want to think about couples therapy.
I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. I let my situation completely rob me of my happiness during the first years with my child. Please don’t let that happen! It’s still early enough to set hard lines and make sure nobody crosses them. 
As a grandparent i respect the rules in place at the childs home however, your child is only 8mths old, just say to the MIL something like “gosh i read a really interesting article that popped up on the internet that showed how juice can cause damage to second teeth, would you like me to send it to you, it has some great tips”. “im trying to avoid future dental bills hahaha” supply the fluids you want your child to have, whats wrong with water, my only agreeance with your concerns is to NOT take the child out to shops. It does not hurt the child to cry…self settling is ok, babies learn quickly and although may cry for 5 or 10 mins its ok, if you pick them up straight away they begin to know that they will get “rocked” to sleep, you are obviously a very modern proactive mother and we grandparents are old school, does your little have bad reactions on seeing grandma or are the arms outstretched on sight, does the baby giggle and chuckle and snuggle with grandma, not want to leave when you go to collect the littlie, if the answer is yes then a few grandparent misdomeaners on grans part should be forgiven. My only standpoint would be regarding going to the mall/supermarket, gran can do her shopping during the week and stay home with bub during the the visit. You are lucky to have a MIL who obviously adores your bub, i had to single parent 3 children who are now well educated smart successful parents themselves and have smart well grounded successful children, their reaction to care is “ok mom ill do it my way at home”. These little misdomeaners are what grans do and really in the scheme of things these, not important, i know, i know, the bub is your child and you have the right to want things done your way, but is it really harming the littlie, honestly, another thought, maybe gran may need a weekend break ??? Or you want to spend a weekend with the bub ??? I know ill get rubbished for this but I’m looking from a grandparent’s view. Sometimes small things just aren’t important
No, you’re not wrong. The baby is your child. I would tell her straight you have specific rules and if she flouts them she cannot be trusted alone with your child.
How you haven’t read the fucking riot act to her I do not know.
And I’d tell your husband to man up and bollock her too.
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Omg… You are very valid. This is your baby. She raised hers already… If she can’t follow your rules she won’t be allowed unsupervised time again. I was a bitch about my in-laws with my children. I limited it to like 2 hours in my house … Usually they were already in bed asleep…
I dont know what the deal is with in laws. They think they can do whatever they want.
I dont know what the deal is with in laws. They think they can do whatever they want.
Your baby your rules! If she doesn’t like then tough titty!
You don’t really have a right to bitch when she has your kid every weekend 
That’s her baby now😂
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I just wouldn’t let her take your son 
until she’s respectful of your choices.
Or maybe I’m just that much of a bitch lol
My MIL hasn’t watched my son in months…
Dont let her take him anymore
Quit sending your kid
Idk i do all that stuff girl
Don’t let that fly 
keep the baby for the next few weekends and say “if you can’t respect my rules I can’t trust you with my kid” it’s that simple and YA M@N SHOULD HAVE YA BACK PERIOD
Do not let her watch him.
Suspend grandma’s privileges…periodt!!!
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Do not let her have him again
Ur child ur rules. Hope they understand
Communication keep it REAL
She doesn’t need to have him!!!
My friends pls like my page for positivity every day
Your baby. Your rules.
Laura Monaco-Martino 
Sont let him go if it makes you that upset. Your the mother
If it bothers you that badly, keep him home.
Nope if she can’t listen I’d stop the visits. I didn’t sleep train my kids til they were 1 and that’s leaving them to whine in their cribs not cry themselves to sleep so 8 months is a little too early in my opinion. Juice and water they can start having at 6 months so that’s not so bad, but taking him out during COVID-19 is a no no.
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When I had our Children, my Mother in law, would step in and enjoy our Children. My Husband is one of eleven. She gave my son and daghter juice and water. They need water, I dont understand not giving a child water…it baffles me. You are lucky she has anything to do with your child…Good luck. How many children did she have. She is older and wiser. You are a new mom with new ideas, but some older ways didnt hurt us.
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Letting her cry herself to sleep thats OK.
But I would only give my child at this age water or milk ( no milk at night) as I am a dental nurse.
But if you feel that she needs to listen to you I would stop some of her visits to maybe she can can have her for the day every other weekend.
I know quite a few grandparents who don’t listen to their kids about their grandkids. As a baby yes she needs to listen because your son isn’t able to talk. I expect my parents to give my son candy and sweets and let him stay up late but he is 8. But as a baby they had to listen. If they didn’t I limited visits. If you are uncomfortable and she refuses to listen get a sitter. I’m especially cautious and agree about her taking him out during the pandemic. Good luck!
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In my opinion juice and water is fine but she should stay indoor with the kid. Sometimes you can let her do things she thinks is fine as they r more experienced but not crying until baby sleep. You better talk to her openly about things you think is not good and advise not to repeat it. My MIL was awesome but unforfunately passed away when my baby was 6 months. She took great care of our family.
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Lol. Watch youre own kid. If you don’t like what she doing. Keep him home thats it
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You are the mum. If you feel something doesn’t sit well with you then you need to do something about it. Its not about choosing your battles. Its about how you want to raise your baby. Your mum and mum in law shouldn’t step any boundaries. Have a open honest chat with mum in law and tell her how you feel. If nothing changes after the chat you should think twice about allowing these visits. Just my thoughts.
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At 8 month we started working on self soothing not all night but I did 5 min increments and after 3 night we just had to lay her down and she’d go to sleep as well at 8 months it’s fine to have water and diluted juice but again those are your rules and I’d be having a serious discussion with your husband about not supporting you
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I know exactly how you feel. My own mother thinks just because she watches my child in her home she can do whatever she wants with my child and have whoever she wants around my kid. I asked her to respect what I say when it comes to having my child with her. If you can’t respect what I say as her mother then you won’t have my child. Ever since then I DO NOT trust my mother alone with my child because there are some people I do not want around my child because they are toxic and full of drama and my mom ignores that. She is MY child so my mom needs to listen to what I say when it comes to my child. So ever since she decided to disrespect me and my wishes she no longer is allowed to take my daughter unless I go with them. Until she can learn to respect me and my wishes 
We go to my moms every weekend if we can. We FaceTime my mom every night before bed. But that’s it. She is not allowed to take my child unless I am with her until I can trust her.
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If she doesn’t respect your boundaries don’t let go back until she states she will.
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Um no that’s nuts if she can’t respect your wishes and boundaries for your child she shouldn’t have the privilege of having him, period. Very disrespectful in my opinion
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I think you have the right to be upset because at the end of the day you are his mother. At eight months it is okay for him to have water. As for the juice I can understand you not wanting him to have it. How long is she letting him stay in the room and cry?
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No you are not worng! Be upset, set boundaries. She had her kids, this is your child. She is taking advantage of you ALLOWING her to take him. I don’t even let my mom take mine for longer than a 12 hour day & I love & trust my mom.
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That’s a big nope!! You are the mom and if your husband doenst have your back than they both need to get in line! He is supposed to be partners with you and she should be respecting what you say, if he doenst respect you enough to ensure her respect for you, than you chose the wrong partner plain and simple. You and he discussed these things so to top it off when is showing, she has no respect for his words either!
No, end the visits if she can’t listen. You are the parent and his mother and your wishes should be respected. It is very disrespectful to you as a parent for her to do that. And your husband should respect you as the mother as well and make it clear that the rules need to be followed. In my opinion, when it comes to my kids…I don’t care who you are, if you cross me, I will not tolerate it for a second.
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Being upset is changing nothing, you can’t have it both ways if she refuses to follow your rules then she can’t take the baby. You need to tell your husband to back you it’s his mother.
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I am a MIL to my sons wife and a mom to my daughter. I didn’t always agree with their way but it’s their children so I followed the rules. Their rules. Once when my grandson was with us and he was about a year my DIL never gave them sugar. We went walking my husband and I with my grandson and stopped at an ice cream shop. We had ice cream and gave the little guy some. We didn’t tell. It was our secret and a few years later we told my DIL and son. All was good. When we had to put them to bed we followed their instructions. Crazy ones I felt but for the one or two nights we had them we followed so they wouldn’t be paying for my selfishness. Have a talk with your MIL and say it makes life harder for you when yeh baby comes home. She needs to understand or don’t send him there. I’m a grandmother that has my Montreal grandson (DIL and son live in Ottawa ) every Friday and now that he’s 6 we are allowed to do what we want with him at our house our rules including our Ottawa grandsons. To a limit. But all good. Be truthful and talk to her.
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Well if you don’t like what she does the keep your child at home. My sister in law watch all three of my kids and there where things I didn’t like that she did. But I could not afford childcare and for the most part she did fallow my instructions. If anything she loved on my kids and spoiled them that’s why they so bad now lol. I say talk to her again tell her if you have to go out let us know so we can bring him over after you get back or we’ll pick him up early so you can run your errands. Water is not going to hurt your baby at 8 months most Dr suggest that parents start cup training there babies around 8-12 months anyway. As a grandparent to two kids I always ask my daughter before anything she knows how we are and I know how she is. If you don’t like it then stop the visits or go over there with him.
No, if she doesn’t respect birth of you and your rules I wouldn’t let her take him anymore. Be respectful but that is your child.
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Definitely dont agree with taking him around while theres still a threat of covid19. I would put my foot down or stop the visits until the threat of covid19 subsides. Your child’s health is most important here.
Sadly, that’s when it all ceases, and may resume when and only when your MIL gets the message that this is your child and whatever you choose for your child is your right as their parent. I’m all for a tiny bit of spoiling here and there, but things of this magnitude, there is NO WAY other than the way that you have chosen period. It doesn’t matter if she agrees or not, it isn’t her job or her right to adjust certain expectations to suit her, this is your child and I’m sure you’ve made your points crystal clear and by her blatantly disregarding how you feel, isn’t only a huge disrespect to you, but your child as well. Shame on your MIL cuz I’m pretty sure if the tables were turned, she would in no way shape or form find that behavior acceptable… Good luck and I hope it can be something shes willing to hear and abide by for her grandchildren’s sake and yours 
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She needs to respect your parenting. You may consider seriously and sternly (but nicely) telling her that you plan to raise him in the manner that you’ve chosen, with limited input from anyone other than your husband. And why does she want to “hang out” with an 8 month old anyway? Some grandmas like the idea of doing mommyhood all over again. Be blessed!
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Not wrong. If you know this is happening I wouldn’t let her take him until she can do the right things that you ask.
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YOU are the kids mother not her, she had her moment with her precious son (that clearly needs to grow a pair).
People regardless of how they are related need to remember asking for help doesn’t mean somehow you gave up parental rights. Help with time and support is just that: help.
Seriously disrespectful behaviour and careless attitude taking care of someone else’s child.
p.s.your feelings are ALWAYS valid, don’t dismiss them, and anyone who makes you doubt that is not worthy of you. It’s that simple (imagine your child in your position 20 years from now and what you would say).
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My 7 yr old son’s dad did that he didnt tell any of his friends or workmates. Also his grandma didnt know anything about him until easter and my son was born in December. So yea they do that and yes its upsetting but screw them they are the ones that are messing it up. I have a very hard time to get him to even spend time with his son.
If she’s doing what you already asked not to, why think anything would change just because you said something else? Why are you still sending him with her?
Time to cut someone off, just saying
This is why I dont let people watch my kids. Cant imagine my baby sitting in a room alone crying and nothing being done.
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Well let’s see IS YOUR HUSBAND ALIVE??? The. There is your answer
I’m 51 and every single generation raises their kids differently
I get the Covid worry I really do but stop being a helicopter parent come in for a landing … cuz your husband made it to adulthood your child will too
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You carried the child 9 months, rent free. If she wants to " raise" one her way, tell her to put a " for rent" sign out at her place
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It’s nice she wants to spend time with her grandchild. However, she needs to be considerate and respectful of your wishes in concerns for your child. Your husband should also be supportive of you and your concerns.
Time to cut off visits with grandma. If you don’t put your foot down now, it will only get worse!
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As you said when you started “your parenting rules” she is a grandparent …in my experience “grandparents rules are vastly different” He catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Sometimes it’s best to show how your way is working very well and you know how much she loves her grandbaby and you’d really appreciate it if you could both agree on some ways to spoil that grandbaby other than what she’s doing.
She’s raised a child (your husband) before has years of experience so she knows what she is doing. However, she should no better especially traveling to the store with COVID-19 running rampant… ask her if she could just do her grocery shopping before she gets your son
If she won’t respect your feelings then find someone else to keep him. She is being a grandma. I’m not one yet but I can tell you now that although, I will completely respect my DIL’s wishes as long as they are reasonable, I have raised my children and nothing I did killed anyone so chances are those same things won’t kill the grands either. I understand about covid and keeping the child away from people though. That’s valid. Keep a good relationship with your mother in law but at the end of the day, he is your child.
You have every right to be upset. Stop the visits until she can respect your decisions.
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It’s a difficult situation as easy as it is to say mil is not having him anymore, do you want to burn that bridge permanently? As this could cause a massive rift.
I’d try explaining to her that you have set specific parenting rules and you want anyone and everyone who looks after your child to follow them and if not you may have to stop them having him alone. But obviously word it a little better. If that fails speak to your partner and tell him exactly how you feel and what you want him to tell his mum and if that fails to then you will have to put your foot down and stop mil having bubba. At the end of the day it’s your child and your rules should be respected. Good luck
If you take your schild away now, they will have a terrible relationship with her later years. Had trouble with my hubbys family and my hubby, moved out and separated got back together after couseling, my children were not treated like her grandchildren ever again. When my Mother in law who had Parkinsons, on her deathbed, told me she was so sorry for not having a loving relationship with my Children, because even now they hated my In laws, not my Parents who died also.
Put your foot down and don’t let her take him until she can follow your rules. If she doesn’t like it she doesn’t see him. If hubby doesn’t like it he can go live with his mommy. YOURE THE MOM NOT HER
I would be mad too and visits would stop. But it’s alarming that she literally has your 8 month old son every weekend…
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I would never let a 8 month old cry themselves to sleep, some of these things she is doing is all about her. It is your child , men don’t know how to really care for a baby, you have to say NO MORE!
No. It’s your baby. I never let mine cry their self to sleep. That’s cruel and if she’s doing this I personally would not let hero keep my child. Your husband is what you call odd man out or between a rock and a hard place.
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Your husband needs to set rules or not let him go to her house. I would not be OK with any of those things.
Water and juice is fine what is not cool letting the baby cry until falling asleep that’s a big No no!! You need to rock babies 8 month’s old is a baby they want to feel warm comfortable secure while they are falling asleep. Another no no is taking them out in pandemic time do not expose babies to covid19 their systems is weak not as ours they don’t even have their all shots! Talk to granma and explain her your concerns.
Your child. Set and establish boundaries now.
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That is your baby! You have the right to have rules. Set real boundaries and let her know you are serious!
My in-laws were the same way… worse yet, she would usurp me in front of my kids… That didn’t last long.
Stop letting her take your son unsupervised if she will not follow your rules. It’s that easy.
My child, my rules & those not followed… then no trips/ visits without me
The water and juice isn’t so bad. Her taking the baby out with Covid still around is a concern. Tell her that if he gets the virus, she may not have a grandbaby to love. Letting an 8 month old baby cry it out is wrong. Tell her your concerns, and if your husband can’t back you up, tell him to grow a set.
Water isn’t good for babies. It’s limited ok for formula use but itsnot ok just by itself. It can cause developmental delays. Water intoxication is a thing
ehh kinda. its not the end of the world for watered down juice and crying it out at bed time…and if she gotta go out then she gott go oit. if ur so uncomfortable with it then stop letting her have him on weekends
Stand up firm about this…remember you carried your son and gave birth to him, not your mother-in-law…do Not let anyone take control over your decisions regarding your kids…I don’t care how old they are.
No way that is your son she had her son and raised him now you take your son back and raise him the way you want and if your husband doesn’t like it tell him to go live back with his mommy he should be the one talking to his mother
This is too much. Every weekend at I months? She feels entitled to do as she pleases with him. Why don’t you stop him from going?
Every weekend? When do you spend time with your child?
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OK everything apart from bringing him outside isn’t bad, juice and water at that age is normal and really should be something they have as for crying it out, its a good way to teach self soothing
Choose your battles carefully.
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Tell her she’ll be allowed to take your son when she starts listening to you.
No your child and your husband needs to present a united front when requesting his mom follow those few and reasonable requests.
Nope. My rule is if you don’t like or listen to my rules then you don’t get to watch my kid.
No you should tell her if she can’t follow your rules for your son then she won’t get to get him for the weekends. Ask her what if the shoe was on the other foot and he was her son?
Your kid, your rules. She can’t follow them, he stays home. Plain and simple.
I wouldn’t let her take him period you are the MOTHER and she isnt respecting you at all, your hubby should sit her down and explain that
Stop sending your son over, and so often at such a young age.
Absolutely not! Your baby, your rules! Put your foot down now.
My in-laws did the same when they had the kids and my ex would tell me relax it’s ok
She needs to respect your parenting. If she doesn’t I wouldn’t allow her to keep him
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Why are you not comfortable with him getting water?
No you are right 
That child is your most precious possession she should follow your wishes otherwise find someone else who will