I would just do daycare. You’re mother is making poor life choices and you want her to babysit your child? Maybe your state has a child care assistance you may qualify to get a portion reduced? You never know unless you try. And when looking for daycare you want a licensed daycare. You really got to do your homework with them.
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I just read a pile of excuses to try and justify not paying somebody for working…
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When my husband and I both worked, my parents would watch all 4 of my kids out of love. They would only ask for us to buy food to feed them if they didn’t have much. Now that I’m a stay at home mum they still have my kids when I need to go run some errands or even need a breather. I’m very blessed to have parents like this. Once in a blue moon they will ask for money to help out with something but other than that they babysit their grandchildren out of love.
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Find a licensed daycare to take your child so you aren’t beholden to your mom. Also it will help your relationship with her.
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If you could, see if you qualify for childcare vouchers which would help out with the cost if a daycare. You don’t have to take them to a daycare when you receive them either, if you find someone you trust with child they can accept them too.
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Reading these comments I can finally understand what’s wrong with this world.
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I am a mom who babysits her grandson 
I do not charge my daughter anything on a weekly basis, however she does provide all his food/drinks/snacks/diapers/wipes, & she pays for various things that I need, such as $25 a month for my cell phone bill, paper goods I may need at my house, & she pays for various apps on Roku monthly so we all have things to watch.
My husband works & I stay home due to health issues, so it’s really no trouble for me as I don’t go out much.
I would have a serious sit down with her & offer your mother $100 per week (NO MORE on the side stuff) & INSIST she work around YOUR schedules or you will need to find someone else, no offense to her.
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Years ago my mother in law watched my son , I paid her the same as a daycare …it gave her extra money and i had piece of mind he was with family
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It’s not your mom’s responsibility to watch your daughter. It’s crazy to think that you feel you should have to pay her because it’s her granddaughter. Sorry to break it to you but she’s not responsible to babysit your daughter when you work, grow up and maybe get your daughter into daycare and then you will pay a lot more then 100 a week. THIS POST IS JUST SO DISRESPECTFUL AND I HOPE YOUR MOM TELLS YOU THAT SHES NO LONGER GONNA BABYSIT AND YOU CAN DO WHAT MOST PARENTS WHO WORK DO THATS PAY FOR CHILDCARE FOR YOUR CHILD. GROW UP AND STOP ACTING SO ENTITLED.
Also what’s your mom dating a married man have anything to do with this post? Guess what your moms an adult and can do as she pleases and there’s no need to announce what she does. If she wants a day off or has an appointment then too damn bad find alternative child care.
This bitch made me want to choke her stupid entitled ass just reading this 
So you want next to free child care? And are appalled that she has boundaries for her nearly free labour ? You sound entitled and delusional, if you cannot afford to put her in daycare then maybe stop taking your mom forgranted and appreciate all she is doing for you, allowing you to work.
Either quit your bitching or quit your job and watch your kid yourself 
U sound so flipping selfish 
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Is this real? Your mother is doing you a favor by watching your child. And of course you have to work around her schedule, especially if she has doctors appointments. You sound like an ungrateful brat… If you want to complain about having to pay $40 a week in childcare, while you and your husband works full-time, you really don’t have a grip on reality.
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20 to 40 dollars a week? Start off by paying her an actual wage. Then set rules about your schedule and if she doesn’t abide by them fire her. She works around your schedule or she is let go. There’s literally no reason for any of this. It sounds like you think she should work for free or next to nothing because she lives with her mom. Also not sure why someone would mention her dating life when it’s irrelevant other than an attempt to discredit her and get people to take your side. Just be firm and kind and start paying the lady she is not your free babysitter ma’am and I mean that with all due respect.
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20 to 40 dollars a week ? Are you kidding me ? Most babysitters charge 30 to 50 dollars a day or more. My Grandson has to pay 100 dollars a week and that is cheap your so ungrateful. If I was your mother I would make you find your own babysitter and wash my hands of you brat.
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You sound like an entitled brat. You are in no way entitled to make her babysit whenever you want her too. She is in no way obligated to revolve her life around yours. And what you pay her is saving you a shit ton in child care. 20-40 is awful payment to be at your beck and call no matter if she is your mom or not.
Just look up the cost if daycare and pay her that otherwise don’t complain it isn’t your business if she works or not or if her boyfriend is married or not. She doesn’t have to do anything for you just bc she is your mom it doesn’t make you entitled to almost free daycare.
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I have watched all 3 of my grandchildren from birth to after school. My son was paying me $25 a day( $125 wk.) If I cleaned their house that was was another $50- $75 dollars a week. And he thought that was a lot… until…he moved to another county, and had to put them in daycare,$225 a wk for the youngest who was 2… and $125 a wk for after school for the other 2…thats $375 a week for child care. And they worked around my schedule… and did so for 8 yrs.
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40 dollars that’s a joke right 
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Look for a sitter or child care elsewhere.
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I can’t imagine charging to babysit my grandchildren. But I also couldn’t imagine having a married bf so maybe there’s a couple character flaws there. Get a daycare. 
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Damn you sound so ungrateful honestly.
Ew. She has a married boyfriend? Trashy.
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Wow some one sounds like and entitled brat! Pay your damn mom! She isn’t your personal built in baby sitter. She’s doing a full time job watching your child! When my mom watched my kiddo, she asked for $100 a week. However date night sitting she does for free🤷🏼♀️
Face you reality and do what’s best for your own family
If this bothers you put your child in daycare or come up with a salary for her weekly. If you are paying her an agreed upon amount she will be more inclined to schedule appointments around your schedule. If you don’t want to pay her stop complaining
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Be thank full you have your mother helping you out
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As someone who doesn’t have help at all with my kiddos, please be thankful for your mother helping you. I think what she is doing for you is wonderful and a HUGE favor. Sure, grandparents should want to help with their grandkids and help their children but at the same time, you can’t expect someone else to raise your child for you, family or not.
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Stay home and start babysitting other kids.
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I’ve stayed home with my kids for the last 12 yrs cuz I was working to basically pay for daycare befor that. It’s far from easy and it comes with major sacrifices but your moms done her job shes raised her kids
It sounds like you need to make some choices for yourself
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My mother in law doesn’t charge me thankfully. She loves watching her grandson
Get another sitter or daycare. 40 dollars isn’t anything. You said you pay her mainly for gas, so how much is she really making? Daycares can be expensive. And ALOT of qualified sitters charge 15+ an hour.
It sounds like she’s doing you a huge favor by baby sitting, and because she’s grandma, you think she should just do it just because. & usually sitters do have their own lives, so there would be times you’d have to adjust your schedule because they’re not available, or find someone else to cover.
Grandparents don’t equal free babysitter. & i don’t understand why you’d throw in that she lives with her mom, or has a married boyfriend unless it’s to make her sound bad. Yet she’s good enough to be trusted with the baby?
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No one should have to watch your kid for free
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Best of luck finding a daycare for 20-40 bucks a week!
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To all the people saying ‘you should pay her’ and ‘be happy she’s helping you out’ I can sincerely say that it’s not that easy and I completely understand. She already is paying her an agreed upon amount and the mother is causing a fuss for no reason because she feels she’s entitled to all her bloody left over money because she helps with her own grandchild as if it’s such a burden. Can safely say, don’t let her keep babysitting. It’s worth more for your mental health to look into childcare or other babysitters rather than letting someone who’s meant to be your own mother manipulate you like that.
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I have watched all of my grandkids and the thought of charging a fee for having them never crossed my mind. Peggy
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Have you guys thought of working opposite schedules? Thats what we do that way theres always one of us with our kids plus it saves money
Need to hear her side
Well I’d pay more then that for someone your child knows to be watched in her home with her things…daycares here charge 160-180 per child per week…pay more and be considerate that she is helping you out…and allowing you and your child to be comfortable…don’t take child care for granted just because it’s a family member doing it
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There are always 2 sides to a story. A grandparent does not mind helping out but 5 days a week 8 to 9 hrs a day come on u expect way to much.
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$20 to $40 a week for keeping your child and you complaining when she has other things to do? Sounds like your taking advantage of her.
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My mom babysits for free for me. I only work 1-2 days a week, due to severe crohns disease. Every time I have tried to give her money, she refuses. She said she loves the extra time with them. BUT, I hate it. So I buy her random things. Or when I go grocery shopping I’ll make her make a list of things she needs for her house.
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I have 6 grown children and got no help atall I made made out fine and my Xdid not help.
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Your mother has a right to her boundaries; as you have with your boundaries. Ask where y’all could have common ground? Compromise is everything in any relationship. If you can agree? Either buck up and shut up, or shell out for daycare.
Hard facts of life.
Family is family. Respect your mother; as a mother yourself. Raising kids is HARD WORK - especially if she’s an older lady. That takes a toll on any lady - at any age. They’re not her kids, either. They’re YOUR kids. She had her time raising kids and she’s not doing it for free. She likely loves them to pieces too. That’s, honestly, the one thing money can’t buy. You can’t purchase that love and I bet it’s worth something? Maybe she needs those hours to find a job? She could also have appointments to go to. Those also cost money to go to and you may not get a sitter those days. Your mother can’t neglect herself for your time and it’s costing her too (by the sounds of it). Your grandmother, likely, requires care and your mother could be helping her too.
Take care of your elders.
All else fails - daycare. Shell out for it and avoid conflict with your mother. You’re asking for child care and it’s expensive. Sometimes it’s unavailable. You never know “whom” will be essentially raising the children, either.
Choice is up to you.
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Simple do what is best for you and if day care centres scare you look for a local home/ family day care
You are not responsible for her needs or wants.
Daycares around my area charge around $400 a week!! You got a great deal!
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You are willing to pay a daycare but not your mom? I think she dereves to get paid!
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Wow. You’re a really ungrateful daughter.
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Simple, find another reliable babysitter if your mom isn’t making you happy. Keep in mind you will pay way more than 40 a week. With a 40 hour week the going rate is around 100 a week for each child, a lot more in many areas. So figure out which is best.
I have watched my grandkids for 12 yrs without being paid regularly but once in awhile my daughters will give me money to buy myself something.
Fr, 20-40 a week? I’d pay my mom 300 biweekly 
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I’d just pay my mom to keep the kiddo and try to find common ground on the trips she takes. Grandma care is probably better than a daycare.
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Pay her a agreeable amount not just gas money. With agreed on set schedule. Your work hours. If she can’t or won’t. Find another babysitter. If she helps you for free that’s nice if not 
she’s not obligated to raise you now your kid also.
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Omg you sound so entitled!! Ungrateful daughter. Yeah go ahead get daycare $$ thats gonna cut right into your shopping trips. Oh and yes some people do have appts and a life even grandparents.
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I’ve always given a quarter of my pay to the babysitter. Family member or not.
I always figured, we wouldn’t have the other 3 quarters if it wasn’t for them.
A cleaner would honestly make more.
Find another babysitter. Your mum seems to have a pretty busy life. Which is fair enough.
Both you and your partner are working towards a better life, there’s going to be many sacrifices, hard choices, tough work and long hours along the way.
Be respectful to all that help you get there.
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Find a day care. My son had been with me up until I started a new job so he’s almost two and I was terrified that he wouldn’t do okay and just worried about all the horror stories about day care. But so far he loves day care and has made some little friends and the teachers love him.
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I’m sorry what?? Pay her. She doesn’t owe you free childcare.
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Wow … people calling you ungrateful but You shouldn’t mix business and family. I understand your mom helps but it confuses your daughter… grandmas should be “fun” and could be an escape not another “responsibility” , is your daughter even learning anything with grandma ex shapes, letters, sounds ? There’s always resources around u for example head start program or cheaper church daycare. Look and ask around and tell your mom you want her around other children and to learn stuff and find something close to your job if possible. Pray that you are lead to a good daycare and pray that your daughter will be safe always.
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Yeah, um I pay $315 a week for my two girls at our daycare… I WISH it was $40 here & there… be grateful or prepared to shell out some serious dough.
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How do you justify not paying a decent amount for the the childcare you desire versus an unaffordable amount for daycare. You sound very selfish, your mother doesn’t owe you anything.
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Yeah…she don’t HAVE to watch your kids.
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You had the child your responsibility .your mom is doing u great big favor baby sitting for free. 20 to 40 a week.is nothing.you sound ungrateful. They probably get great care from grandma u have please of mind means a lot.be grateful for her
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Maybe she’d be willing to work with your schedule more if she were better compensated.
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Wow, idk where to start with this one 
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Your mom is doing a job. She is watching your child while you work. Feeding your child, keeping your child safe. How much is that worth to you??
You also can’t expect her to not have appointments. Everyone has appointments.
Think about how much good childcare is worth to you and then go from there.
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Just pay her more she not asking for much imagine daycare fees ?
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I never threaten or make them feel guilty. I’m sorry your getting so much hateful grief
Honestly id pay my mom more, youre still saving on daycare. Also, if my mom was watching my child while i worked id be paying her more than that anyways WITHOUT having to be asked for anything. Its still her time shes taking to help you, she did her job raising you so technically you shouldnt expect anything.
I always took my children to my mother. If she had an appointment or anything I’d take them to another grandparent or one of my siblings. I’ve also missed work before for a day or went in later due to my mother having an appointment or whatever. Remember that your mom is doing you a favor. She doesn’t have to this at all.
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You should be grateful to have her, pay her the going rate, and stop trashing her reputation on social media.
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Pay daycare. I had to do it and my mother in law lived w me. Wasnt worth the headache
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Lol. Ya. My mom always complained about it even if i offered to pay.
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I pay my mom $20 a day! Even tho she fights me to take the money, i still pay her cause 1) i know shes taking good care of my son,better than anyone else will. 2) it’s her time too 3) taking care of a kid is a big job/responsibility. We live together but i still buy her stuff here and there bc im grateful of what she does
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Would it be cheaper to pay for a professional babysitter
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Alternate work schedules so one of you is home with child. If not…maybe pay your mom $100 week
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I would never pay my mother to keep my child. And if she asked my jaw would hit.the.ground. However, my kid is in daycare and my mother is not obligated to keep him and is excited for her time with him…I guess every situation is different.
See if you qualify for childcare assistance. Would be my best advice. Your mom does not have to watch your child or help you out, but she does. $20 a week and a few extra things she wants is nothing compared to daycare costs.
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Uh, enroll your child in an actual daycare? Or pay your mother an actual wage for watching YOUR child.
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My mom would watch my daughter everyday for free if she could that’s messed up imo!! But you could still work around her appointments!
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Wow…your mom is bot a built in babysitter. She us basically doing it for free if you are only paying her gas. If you are unhappy with that free daycare…then by all means, put her in a daycare.
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Are you serious? Fuck your momma drama. Get daycare!!!
I pay my grandma $30 a day to watch my two kids … 15-20 per day would be better for you to pay her.
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Having someone loving to watch your child is priceless. I wish my mom was around to do that. If you’re not really paying her for her time than you should work around her schedule. If not then you aren’t really respecting her time. If you want her to be free for whenever you need her than work out a wage to do so. What she does with her free time though is none of your business.
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Get a new baby sitter
How I see it is your mom is ALSO working a full time job and deserves to be paid more for her services. Honestly, would you work a full time job for $20-$40 a week? You would be paying WAY more at a daycare. It’s also good to have a back up sitter for when she wants to take her trips! Everyone needs some days off
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Find a real babysitter and pay a shit ton more?
Your mom still has a life. Why should it revolve around YOU!? She did her part, she raised you. She don’t owe you anything. Stop using your mom as a free babysitter and put them in daycare.
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You pay her $20 a week to watch your child full-time and just expect her not to have a life…wow.
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Hire a child care provider then maybe you will appreciate your mother’s help!!
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Find a real daycare provider… one you pay who is available on your schedule but will charge you a LOT more than a headache and some schedule adjustments.
Otherwise look into your budget and be a stay at home parent
$1000 a month is what I’d be paying for a Monday through Friday schedule. And that’s an awesome price for my area for 3 kids…
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Your mom doesn’t have to watch your child. So if she doesn’t want to do it for free, she doesn’t have to. Be thankful you have her. Because day care cost a lot more than 20-40$ a week. Try doing it without her for a month and see if you survive. If so, do that and try rebuilding your relationship with your mother another way.
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What are you planning on paying the daycare? Instead pay your mom that (if she can commit to babysitting during your work hrs). No additional money would need to be given (unless she does additional hrs babysitting outside of what is originally agreed upon) and no guilt and no drama because now she has money to live off of. That way you’re helping each other.
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I’m blessed to have my mom and MIL to watch over my son. If they would want to charge me, I would pay. The peace of mind of having someone that loves my son and will take good care of him is priceless.
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Your mum is toxic! find a daycare and you and your husband enjoy life without feeling guilty 
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Your mum is paying your rent and food for your family! Like you said you cant afford childcare!? If you add the numbers your mum should be getting more pay as babysitter. And then she maybe able to afford things for herself abd would not need to ask you for it. I would of paid my mum half my days pay! At the end of the day…
You still have a mum,
Your kids have a gran!
Communication! Talk… tell her… listen… its all for the children. Best wishes x
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I would pay her more as she is not working and that is her income
I look after my nephews three kids and they pay me wat they would pay a creche i would rather pay her more if u say u don’t want your baby in a creche
If she is good to your baby i would pay a lil more
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I see this as a building boundary issue with your mom. How is the quality of her care? If you are happy with it and would like to continue, negotiate a more reasonable to market rate salary with the understanding that it is a job with specific predictable hours. Pay her as much as you are able to for child care instead of constantly negotiating payment for other things. There is no harm in meeting with child care providers to explore options, especially one who is flexible to cover for your mother’s absences, or to use daycare part time.
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Your mother deserves to be paid more than just gas money and yes you base your schedule on the days she can watch your kid because that’s what you would have to do if you hired a babysitter or sent it to daycare.
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Pay her more than $40 a week…
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Just because she is your mum doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be paid for baby sitting while you work.
That is really selfish.
If my children’s grandad had them for me to work I would definitely be paying him because 1 he would be allowing me to actually have a job and 2 it would be a lot cheaper then childcare as well as comfort in knowing my child is 100% safe.
In my opinion you’re very lucky you have her
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