What’s your moms personal life got to do with any of this? As you know, watching children is most certainly a JOB, hence why you won’t fork over the $$$ for a professional childcare service. Be grateful and respectful of your mother. You only get one. That’s my 2¢
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You dont pay her enough for what she does for you
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Does your state maybe offer day care assistance? I know my state does. If you work so many hours a week, the state helps with day care. It’s 28 hours a week here in Iowa, and they help with day care costs.
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get on the daycare assistance waiting list.
Pay a daycare if it will make u feel better 
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Dutch her as the sitter. Problem solved.
20-40$ a week is a joke no wonder she expects you too buy things for her. My sister takes care of my cat and i pay her 20 dollars every DAY. If you pay her the amount she deserves, like if it was a job(it is) you wont need to pay anything else for her.
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She is not wrong in asking you to pay her for babysitting. You wouldn’t have the opportunity to pay a daycare $20 a week. Please be gracious and courteous with your mom. She’s actually doing you a favor. Give her a decent weekly pay and whatever she does with her money is her business.
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I get not wanting to pay for stuff outside of babysitting but definitely should be paid more than what she currently is. But if you really want to go with professional child care look and see if your county has any programs that help with the cost of care.
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I’d definitely maybe pay her $20 a day. What your paying her is clearly not enough for her. But then you are still saving on daycare fees. My mum watched my children for nothing growing up. But now I wish I’d paid her. It’s not an easy job baby sitting especially when she obviously has a life too (my mum mine didn’t back then cause she always baby sat) definitely take care of your mum you only get one and she’s doing you a favour.
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We pay our babysitter $200 a week and that’s only for 3 days, you are definitely underpaying. Either pay her a decent amount or go to a daycare. If your state offers a daycare program get on the waitlist
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If you are both working and can’t afford to buy anything where does the money go ?
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Get your child into a creche. My mom would never ask me for money to watch her grandchild but that’s just how my mom is but I would still give her something.
I would honestly say it all depends on your area and cost of living. I see some of these comments and I never hear of anyone in my are a getting paid over 10 to 15 bucks a day per child for baby sitting. Day care for a normal Monday thru Friday work week is $75 per week. And that’s for about 10 hours a day. I say some areas are more than this for sure. But in general it’s got to do with the area you live. I for one baby sit my grandchild and don’t charge them. It all depends on the situation at hand. My son is young and they are new to the workforce and I am giving them a fighting chance to get ahead.
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Since you both work for money, she deserves the same. Just don’t pay a lot of other things for her then. She maybe can afford things on her own since she would have an income.
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I just don’t think you can be so picky when you are basically getting free babysitting, yes you pay gas money but nothing for her time. I honestly think with all of the complaints you have you have you should just put your children into daycare or find another babysitter.
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If your mother is dating a married man, what kind of values/morals will she be instilling in your daughter?? What you are paying her is a joke! Try pricing daycare and you will be grateful that your mother is watching your daughter. The cost is ridiculous! Give your mom some slack. She has a life too and she has already raised her child/children. Oh yeah, give her a raise too. You should at least pay her 80-100$ for the week.
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My mom watches my children (13 and 4) 5 days a week AND works and I don’t pay her. Sounds like your mom needs to get a job to support herself and be a grandparent. It’s ridiculous to ask for money to watch your grandchild 
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$20-$40 a week that’s nothing go to daycare nd it will b $1000 a month if not more it depended where u leave
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Sure wish I had the kind of family that wanted to care for my children for as little as $20-$40/wk…or at all even. Sounds to me like she’s doing you and your child a courtesy and you should bite your tongue and count your blessings.
Or you could always pay 20x more than you’re currently paying and enroll her in childcare.
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Seriously? What you are paying her is not even the minimum. And why put her business out there whatever she’s doing has nothing to do with babysitting your child. Daycare cost a whole lot more then what you are dishing out. I don’t think that you have to pay for anything extra that she may want but be fair about it maybe even have a conversation at the least it’s still your mom…I promise you if it ever comes down to you paying an actual daycare you’re going to miss your mom
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I agree. You can’t expect your mom to baby sit for basically free and that’s what your doing with the amount your paying. I’m not being mean but she’s your mom be grateful she is still around & that she even attempts to baby sit your children a lot won’t these days! Also It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t have a job or doesn’t do anything I’m sure there are plenty of things she could be doing besides babysitting the grand kids. Maybe offer to pay her more .
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Why do people expect people to watch there kids for free just because they are family ? Like if it’s just a night once a month then ya that’s fine but Actually taking on a full-time babysitting job. People are so selfish . You are selfish for not wanting to pay her more.
I hope she gets a regular job so she can earn more money. Then what will you do since you claim you can’t afford child care?
Be greatful she’s a cheap babysitter and family
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She’s doing you the favor of taking care of your daughter and your mad because you have to work around her appointments or if she wants to travel ? Ouch. I’d be greatfull to have that support and work full time. If both of you guys work full time and can’t afford to treat your selfs, it’s time to start managing your money way better. $20-$40 is a joke, I would pay my grandma 100 and I would work part time. I would appreciate her taking the time to take care of your child. I would also be more grateful. If you don’t want to pay more or you find it outrageous what she’s asking I would consider finding a babysitter, but good luck with the $$ sitters are pricey and just like how you said it’s YOUR WORK SCHEDULE not hers. The one that needs the help is you… Not her. Be grateful.
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Why not offer her a little more money…?
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I would be greatful af to pay 20-40 a week. It definitely not right to be made to feel like its being held over your head, especially if she offered to help then made you feel obligated to pay, but in the long run she is the one being taken advantage of. And working around her scheduke while yes may be difficult for you and she should try to be understanding of that, you also have to understand she is giving up the majority of her week and personal time to watch your kids for basically nothing. Sure grandparents should want to spend time with their grandchildren, but they are more than just free child care
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Are u kidding me 20.00 or 40.00 I think maybe the person who wrote this posts should read what they just posted and really learn to appreciate ur mom for being their for that lousy 20.00 or 40.00 no wonder she has an attitude she ur mom for God sakes read this over and over to you understand how you just belittled you’re mom the one and only person that seems to be helping you out and it’s just not good enough I’m sorry but day care isn’t cheap and it seems that you are taken serious advantage of youre mother and I can’t see where she is being appreciated when u come on here and put out there that she a problem for you talk to ur mother with kindness and respect and maybe show her u appreciate her time instead of acting like she the problem I feel like ur expecting way to much from a grandmother its not her job to be a free sitter
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I believe in helping family out but what she is doing is a bigger help for you than what you are doing for her, at least be adults and talk about a set amount you both agree on that’s fair and show a little more appreciation
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It seems as though she might not be the best choice for a caregiver. I find that situations where grandparents expect financial compensation rarely end well.
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Either appreciate what you have with your mum and maybe come up with a plan for payment. Or look for a nursery. I’d love my mum to have my little one so I didnt pay for childcare. You are in a good situation.
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Wow! The audacity. I was gonna comment but I saw ppl are already saying what is on my mind.
Read this back to yourself…your choice to have a baby, your responsibility, not your mother’s she raised her kids and shouldn’t be expected to raise yours for basically free.
All I can hear is how selfish you are
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Be more responsible with your money and give your mom more of it… youre being super selfish and its quite annoying you put her personal business out there like that.
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I would look into daycare personally. My youngest is in daycare now and it was definitely scary at first. I looked at many places before I found the one he is in. There are good daycares out there momma 
and I understand not wanting to cause a Tiff between you and your mom. But at the same time you have to look out for your family at home. Or even a private babysitter. The teenagers are actually really good most of the time. Get someone with lots of experience and treat it like an interview. Meet with lots of candidates. Ask for references. I ask for at least 5.
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First of all, YOU are not a bank… 2, YOUR MOM IS A GROWN ASS WOMAN and should only be reimbursed for gas that she waste getting to and from your home which is stocked up on food. 3, Shes with a married man… not gonna end well and you should NOT pay for her travel expenses. If he wants a bootycall then tell HIM to pay for travel. If she needs anything such as stuff for your grandmas house, tell her to make a list and you’ll get it for her… these people commenting are ridiculous, they’re telling you to give her more when you just said YOU have to work around her schedule so she can see HER boyfriend WHO IS MARRIED AND WILL STAY MARRIED? What?
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Wow I don’t think alot of people are reading how I’m taking it I guess… sounds like your mom wants way more than that and guilt tripiing you into doing so… It seems like it’s stressing you guys out. Yes daycare costs more, but also sounds like your mom if she is asking so much can be costly too.
Maybe look into daycare it definitely didn’t cost us a 1000 a month for daycare like others are saying. Ours cost 600-700 that was full time daycare.
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Maybe if you paid a fair, competitive rate; your mother would work around your schedule.
You can’t expect your mother to treat babysitting your child like a job and be at your beck and call if you don’t pay her fairly.
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Grandparents are NOT babysitters.
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I have never asked for money to watch family… and neither has my family or my husband’s family… maybe it’s different here I guess ?
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I would be grateful that my mom is capable of watching my child that I brought into the world. Nothing is free in this world. I’m sure if she had $ she wouldn’t be asking for anything but she’s definitely putting your mind at ease and getting the quality time in with ur child. I’m not saying give her ur check but come up with a decent amount for the week with her understanding that you can’t give anymore and also that she has to work around ur work schedule
I see a lot of comments about how you should re-read your own post. However, you’re clearly asking for advice. …
Here’s mine
Look in to a daycare, or find someone you trust interviews are awesome. Interview the daycare, interview a babysitter.
Most have already said you’re lucky to have only paid $20-$40.
Your mom is a grandparent, not a babysitter.
You should find alternatives. She needs money she should find her self a job. If she gets upset with you finding a different sitter, she’s dependent on you for buying her stuff… and your her child shame on her if so.
You’re mom should only watch your child here and there.
She shouldn’t have to be there 24/7 for your convenience she had her kids and raised them already.
If you can’t figure out an alternative maybe you and your spouse need to switch around shifts, to accommodate your child’s well being.
Alternatively you could pay your mom more and explain that that’s it, your not forking over more money or buying more things, you are cut off and if she don’t like your offer, see as stated above. 
Good luck!
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My mom is very similar. You have to be strong and draw a line. If you can pay her more, i would set a schedule these days for x amount of money an hour but she has to be available period. or if she wants you to work around her, then this is the set amount for the week and that’s it. No more extra for this and that. For me I had to distance myself, almost a year and a half later my family isn’t struggling for money or feel guilty for spending money on us and what we need. it’s not easy and she hates my husband for us moving out of state but I’d rather her resign my husband and be able to live the life that we want to live then to kowtow to her and have nothing
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Why shouldn’t she be paid and you work around her? You’d be paying far more for a professional. Your mum isn’t a nanny on tap for free when you want her and you shouldn’t expect her just because she’s your mum.
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Dang you got off cheap! I think you’re the problem I’m this situation. She didn’t have the kid, you did! She deserves more than just gas money. Working around her schedule shouldn’t bother you with the amount y’all are paying her.
Go to a daycare.
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Well does she ask u to pay her more ? Cuz if she doesn’t then it’s not fair for her to expect u to give her money. But if she tells u she wants more money for watching them than that’s different. But either way sounds like you’ll need a different sitter cuz u need someone reliable to your schedule.
Why would you pay family to watch the baby, its fanily ffs they should want to see the baby anyway! And if the grandma isn’t free ask a different relative or friend… Then you wouldn’t have a problem… Family comes first, and should always help each other out no matter what… But then maybe it’s different here in the UK.
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Look into daycare. Clearly this arrangement doesn’t work for you. I would say how I really feel but I’m just giving genuine advice rather than being rude. Good luck hope it works out.
Erm you should be grateful! Look after your own damn kid!
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My mom used to watch my daughter (back when I only had 1 kid) while my husband and I both worked full time jobs and we paid her like I would an outsider because she was spending 8+ hrs with my child and she did not work but if she wasn’t available I would’ve paid someone else to watch her, I was happy baby was cared for with grandma while we worked and we also appreciated her by paying her a fair amount.
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$20 to $40 a week!! Are u seriously complaining about your mom taking time for herself? First of all your child is not your mom’s responsibility and what she does on her private time is her business. I worked processing payments for child care providers and u are taking advantage of your mother. If u cannot afford child care than u should probably stay home with your child or budget to pay your mom more for her time and service. U are extremely fortunate to have your mom watch your child. Many parents aren’t as fortunate.
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I have no advice . My mom never charges me for watching my boys , but if she asked I would gladly find a way (and I’d offer to pay her)… I really don’t understand how grandparents aren’t just happy to do it because they love their grandchildren ? Of course mine is only like two-three days a week , but still …
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You should be extremely grateful she’s watching your daughter at all let alone for almost free. Mine never has even helped me. It’s a full time very hard job. You try it. She has a life and appointments. Hire a nanny or daycare if you’re so unhappy and you will be paying much more too.
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Did half of you not see the part where she said her mom EXPECTS money outside of babysitting 
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Put the kid in daycare.
Grandparents aren’t nannies or a daycare you just drop your child off at. YOUR child YOUR responsibility. In my opinion your mom is actually doing you a favor… daycare monthly is over $400. Your moms job was to raise and take care of YOU, not your kids, now if she’s going to help out and watch your daughter for you at least pay her a decent amount for her help.
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PAY YOUR MOM BETTER! People I know charge $100+ weekly…
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That’s not her baby why shouldn’t she charge 
Look after your own kid if your gunna moan. $20-$40 is nothing
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Why the hell u expecting for free and she has a life too.
I find this rude asf
I don’t have my mum in this world anymore, so appreciate what you got.
Your kids your responsibility.
Get over it.
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This is coming off pretty entitled. Your Mum doesn’t have to watch your son and you don’t have to let her.
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Umm you are lucky girl I paid my mother 15 a day to watch my son…and day care will be way higher than you are paying now…the way I looked at was I had my child not her so it’s not her responsibility…and as far as her trips and stuff just ask her to give you enough advance notice to arrange somewhere else for your child to go…but girl you got it lucky
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I get that she wants paying for her time like but all these demands are a little much and off to see her married fella 
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Sooooo she is doing YOU a favor by babysitting. I’m sorry but you sound really entitled. It sounds like she is taking good care of your child so maybe you should kick down some funds to her. You say she doesn’t work but how can she when she is watching YOUR child all day. Then you get mad when she wants to spend some time to herself? Newsflash, even daycare workers take vacations. 
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Daycare is $150/week
Your mum is doing you a very big favor. Daycare is expensive. I’d pay her because it’s her life. She’s not obligated to you. And it’s better your mum watch your baby than a stranger.
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I want no money for looking after my Grands but if it suits others to do so, that’s fine. My children work their childcare around my life, not just around their own. It’s not taken for granted that I’ll look after them and we work out a schedule between us. This works for us.
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Wow, I know I rely on my family alot when it comes to my kids, which I’m super grateful for! But you just sound super ungrateful for the time your mother is offering. It’s the entitlement for me 
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This sounds so entitled. I know there are alot of grandparents who can and will look after their grandchildren simply because they want to and nothing more…thats great amd beautiful of them, but this grandparent doesnt sound like she is in the same position as those grandparents. She sounda like she has a life she’d like to live and she should be able to…maybe you need to arrangement fair payment to her fot some days of the week and use a daycare for the rest. If it costs too much, then maybe reconsider your work options because it isnt your mums job to be there to look after your kid for nothing. Thats a privilege, not a right
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I pay my mom’s phone bill as payment and if she needs gas to get here I give it to her and I leave my card out so she can buy snacks and drinks for herself. But I make my schedule so my mom only has to come over once every two weeks on Friday overnight till 1pm Saturday I use to actually pay her but I talked with her and this the plan we came up with.
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I read about the first 5 lines and stopped. Your mother owes you nothing. She raised you. You need to raise your kid. She has things she wants to do with her life. If she is willing to stay with your kid, you should be willing to pay a little. You would certainly be paying someone else a lot more. Keep complaining, and you may get to experience that joy. If you are struggling, do what you can to get a better job, find a way to cut expenses, or stop doing things that cost money.
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I was paying my family member over £700 a month to look after my child when I was working full time which was half my wage I choose to continue to work as well as my partner, my mum wanted over £600 a month, in the end I had to give up working for a while due to some costs and issues, I’d never expect anyone to have my children for free, if they were in a private nursery it would be more ( when I went bk to work after a break my son did go into a private nursery) xx
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I paid my mother 100 a week for one child she didn’t ask for anything but I did it anyway
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Having your parent babysit your child is a heaven sent, especially with daycare rates thru the roof ($800+/monthly), nobody wants to keep somebody else’s child/responsibility for free and when they need a vacation they can’t go like it’s some type of obligation they signed up for. PAY THAT WOMAN! also she’s entitled to have time off even if she is paid
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Your expectations of your mother is going to damage your relationship. Its ridiculous to think she needs to borrow a car to come watch your kids, and your are only paying her gas, and chump change here and there. Also, why not throw her some extra cash if you know she isn’t working, after all you both have fulltime jobs. Create some reasonable boundaries. If you treated your mom right, maybe she wouldnt be so aggressive towards you.
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You are literally asking her to travel to a full time job to work for free, and then complaining that she wants time off for her own life or even medical appointments! It shouldn’t even be a question whether she should be paid something, you are massively taking advantage of her. This post makes me so angry. You decided to have a child so they are your responsibility, not your mums. You’re not the only parent in the world either- other people make it work, so you can too.
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Wait… WHO’S CHILD?
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Maybe make up a contract regarding what your after in terms on hours n payment etc. But also not to sound rude but if you can’t work around your mum and her life I suggest you put your baby into daycare and change your work schedule around that. Saves the drama with your mum.
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Scrolls past because I agree with OP.
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Thankfully my mother in law watches our children for nothing. I am a stay at home mother though. She watches them when I have doc appts. Why is it that you’d be ok with even thinking about paying another person more money to watch your child but not your own mother? She comes to you and watches her for you. The money she is getting is for gas and nothing more. She could just say no to watching your child and do what she wants instead because she’s basically not getting paid crap and she already did her job raising you.
You are very ungrateful 20 to 40 a week for watching your daughter full time smh just because she is your mom doesnt mean she is a free babysitter smh. Grow up
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You cannot afford daycare yet you dont wanna take care of them yourself so you rely on your mother but yet when she wants more than just gas money she’s the problem…how about have children when you’re actually ready??
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Pay her more, she’s giving you so much of her time, I’m sure she’s happy to do it, but right now you’re giving her cents an hour.
If she is babysitting while you work, maybe pay her for watching the baby… If she gets paid( not just gas) maybe she would take it seriously
I never charge my kids but they pay me and not only pay me, they spoil me rotten snd show their appreciation every day. They order lunch for me and have it delivered, take me to get my nails done, surprise me with a beautiful purse and other amazing gifts. I ask them to please stop but they tell me they wouldn’t have it any other way.
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I have the same situation except my mom never asks for anything in return. I’m a single mother working a PT job with no child support paid. I have my own place with my baby. My mom is my only baby sitter. She is on fixed income SSI and also lives with my gma n is still raising my 12 yr old brother. She never asks for it expects anything in return. She’s happy to watch her grandson. I kind of make my own hours as to what time I go to work and one or 2 days are flexible enough to go in one day instead of another. So we’re able to work with both of our schedules. I help her out when I can with a little money here n there without her asking. But she’s happy to babysit for me. I wish I could give her n help her more because of how much she watches him no questions asked. This is her grandson tho. She doesn’t see it as a favor or job. She happy to do it.
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I used to babysit full time for about 60$ a week, food and drinks provided by parent. 80 if it were 2 children.
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Find a daycare …asap
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Unfortunately at that rate you will have to give her all the time she wants for her bf etc… but if you were paying her lets see 4$ an hour then you could ask her if she can work around your schedules instead.
Entitled much? 
Grandparents are NOT free babysitters. Technically their “job” ended when you turned 18, or decided to start your own family. If you don’t want to pay your mother a FAIR wage for babysitting then find another sitter. Look into the cost of actual childcare (I promise you it’s about 10x what you’re paying her weekly). Expecting her to show up for FULL TIME work hours, give up her own life to cater to you and your child, and do it all for basically FREE…is selfish. It also sounds pretty controlling that you expect her to schedule her life around your needs. Your local welfare office will help cover childcare costs if you meet income guidelines. Look into that, or come out of pocket for a sitter. Either way, let your mom live her life.
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Be blessed she takes care of your daughter for $20-$40 a week, do u know know how expensive daycare is now a days!!!
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Important thing is if she’s a good grandmother loves baby and u trust her baby first . I had bad experience leaving my baby with a sitter. Stick with a person Know loves ur daughter
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Check your state they may have a childcare assistance program your mom can sign up for as a provider in IL we have it and it takes 6 weeks to be approved but then they back pay it may help
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Man, I hope my daughter doesn’t ever act like this towards me.
Listen, coming from a single mom with NO financial or childcare help… that is YOUR child, not hers. She doesn’t have to be helping you out like she does just because yall are related. You’re not willing to pay her OR accommodate her schedule? You’ve been too blessed for too long.
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Look for in home care it’s more affordable than daycare most of the time it’s half the cost per week
We don’t know her mother or her personally so we don’t even know the mother’s character or hers. I’ve known parents who use, manipulate and live off their grown kids because they still out there acting like kids themselves…if it’s true that she is dating a married man then that says a lot about the mom off top… so we don’t know that she’s just some sweet old grandma lol. Sounds like their relationship is a bit rocky.
And I am sure there is a reason and no one can truly say who’s at fault for that aspect…
From what I’m reading in the post is that they can’t afford a whole lot but they pay her what they can. They pay her anywhere from $60-120 a month. Which isn’t bad considering she only lives a 10 minutes drive away. Plus, they do what they can for her outside of babysitting but she wants more and more. She’s saying that she does what she can but feels like the expectations from her mother are really high and getting to be demanding for watching her granddaughter. And like I said we don’t know if her mother is acting like a child out partying, going seeing a married man I mean come on… Some people on here say that it’s not the Grandma’s fault that her daughter chose to have child therefore it’s not the Grandma’s responsibility to take care of the grandbaby. The same can be said about the grandma if in fact she’s anything like a grandma that I know. Grown children should not have to pay for their parents mistakes while trying to raise a family of their own especially if it’s just constant irresponsibility from grandma/her mom. Also, let’s take into consideration that this grandma still lives with her own mother… I’m not judging I’m just saying that we can’t just think of it like oh it’s this sweet old lady ya know? she should see that her daughter is trying the best for her kid and her family and yes that includes her… And honestly, what’s so wrong with spending time with your grandchild? I can understand the Grandma’s point of view that she’s got appointments she has to get to and she still has a life outside of being grandma and that should be more than understandable to the daughter. She’s blessed that she gets to spend so much time with her grandbaby though. As a family you do what you can for each other and we all struggle with money and that’s the reason why we help each other this shouldn’t be an issue. The way the writer of this makes it sound is that the grandmother is capable of getting a job and just wants to be paid like this is a job and honestly it is a job to some extent yet to some extent it should be looked at as an opportunity many don’t get and that is to spend time with and help raise your grandbaby.
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We were terrified of daycare but we looked at many of them and found one that we are able to watch her from our phones and get consistant updates. If your not able to afford it check with your state they may have child care assistance to help. When ever my family watches her we don’t pay them they enjoy being able to spend time with her.
You have 2 options do what your mother wants (working around her life isn’t an odd request) or get another sitter.
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Your child your responsibility, im sure if your mum was in the position to financially shed love to have her grandbaby without relying on you for help. Yes you need to work around her schedule because it is YOUR child. Anybody else related or not that goes out of their way to help out is a privilege. Nana time is nana time not for your convenience. Practice gratitude 
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Why did you feel the need to throw in the part about her boyfriend being married. You sound selfish and nasty. You are lucky to still have your Mum. My Mum passed away 2 weeks before my first child was born and my 6 kids never had the pleasure of knowing her.
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Wow that awful what your mothers does. She just wants control and that’s no how things work. Anyone who babysits for daycare works around your schedule not theirs thats kinda the point. Ignore most these ignorant fools. Go find you a real daycare or something. Some just think they entitled. And her behavior is unacceptable
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Accept the bad situation, find different daycare accomodations, or quit your job and stay home or work from home.
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