My husband would always spray our daughter with cold water when she would start whining and crying in the shower for no reason
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Lock bathroom door before shower? An apartment for Mom? On SS she could get one and you could contribute some each month?
Are people really getting mad over this? This was the ultimate prank growing up!
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You guys really donât see red flags? For one the mom shouldnât of been in there. And for two it doesnât sound like it was just a joke. Thatâs rude and invasion of privacy.
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I see where the prank part comes in but that still shouldnât do something like that to a child and then say to she deserved it. You need to watch the behavior between them with you daughter slowly becoming older she might eventually end up hating her grandmother. Things like these even words or arguments can affect the emotional bond between the two. Also you daughter is old enough to shower by herself and might feel like an invasion of privacy. Not saying your mother is horrible and itâs wonderful knees to get past drug problems but sheâs an adult and can take care of herself
Child or not everyone deserves privacy⌠I would have been pissed as a child if my parents did something like that. She was probably crying bc it surprised her and make her uncomfortable but doesnât know how to explain it that way so she said she cried because it burned.
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Cold water I a hot shower is not going to harm her however I would not tolerate that behavior
People obviously this wasnât a prank if you read the whole post. The mom said the daughter deserved it and also what grandmother is always causing problems with a grandchild. The grandmother had no business going in the bathroom
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My sisters husband would do this to me when I was living with them. I donât think thatâs something you should do to a little child though.
I used to dump ice cold buckets of water on my sister when she was in the shower. And she would do it back. It was a game for us. But if you think your mom is being malicious and being cruel to your daughter then I would say talk to her and ask her not to do it again. What other problems is she causing?
Seriously what adult just picks with a child constantly thatâs weird af she needs to go mom or not your child comes first
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Thereâs no reason for gma to be in the bathroom while your daughter is taking a shower in the first place. Iâm not sure pouring cold water on her is abuse. I mean sheâs in a warm shower as it is. Violating her privacy in an intimate situation is abusive though. You said thereâs been other incidents? I think you may be obligated to kick her out. Possible abusive behavior, drug use in your home??? If someone would call CPS you could get your child removed for failure to protect if sheâs actually abusive &/or using.
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I can not stress this enough. KICK. Her. OUT!
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Your mom would be slapped
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Am I the only one who thinks that this was just a prank? Good grief most of you guys have no sense of fun in you at all. Youâve never had cold water poured on you while you showered? Itâs harmless fun 
yâall wild 
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Over a cup of water? Jesus H Christ!
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At 10 I wouldnât even go in the bathroom unless my child asked for me. I have 6 kids and once they were old enough to properly shower and wash themselves no one else was allowed in when they were in there unless the other person asked for it (can someone get me a towel? Mom do I have a bruise on my back it hurts?)
That being said, I donât think grandma was trying to hurt her. But if this is just an example of ongoing behavior from her maybe it is time for her to go. Set a date to have her out by and stick to it. Try and help her find somewhere to go that is safe but donât push her out altogether.
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Some of yâall ask the dumbest stuff I swear. 
quit beating around the bush. Youâre clearly looking for reasons to kick your mom out. Youâre mad over something trivial. Put on your big girl pants and ask her to leave.
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A grown adult in the bathroom while a 10 yr old girl showers is very disturbing⌠Am I the only one that sees thisâŚ
Your kids come first⌠Boot your mom to the curbâŚ
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Does your mom have mental illness?
Some of yâall need to thicken your skin. Sounds like youâre just looking for reason to kick your mom out⌠put your big girl panties on and kick her out if thatâs what you want
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Have her pack up & leave NOW
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My mom gotta go. If it was anybody else they would have to go. She better follow suit.
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I donât know what was the intent behind it bc I will spray my kids with the hose
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Well your daughter comes first and if u just moved her in to help her hoping she would get better and if she hasnât and she is mistreating your daughter if I was you she would go mother or no mother itâs not fair to your daughter to pay for the mistakes that she has made so Iâm saying u shouldnât feel bad to tell her that she has to go
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I cannot stress this enough
Yeah she sounds like a delusional adult jealous of your child. Itâs kind of scary and I would kick her out. Your childâs safety comes first.
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Thatâs just uncalled rude and disrespectful.What else is going on with this women .YOUR brought her in your home .NOT in hers so she needs to be a little more mature and stay out of the bathroom. And be a grandma .Bake some cookies.
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Yall are too sensitive its literally a joke my parents and siblings have done this same thing grow a backbone youâre raising cry babys
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Call the police and press charges! If you donât stand up and protect your child who will? Your mother is a grown ass woman she knows better. She shouldnât have been in the bathroom with your child to begin with! This time it was water next time it could be hot coffee. Get her out now!!!
Yâall are nuts itâs literally a very common prank. It did not burn her skin. Probably uncomfortable and startling but jeez. If you donât want her there ask her to leave like a grown woman. Quit fishing for excuses.
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Kick that bitch out. Bye bitch. Wtf�?? Why you even asking??
Cold water⌠burned�
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This entire post HAS to be a joke. If youâre really thinking about throwing your parent out over a fucking prank, youâve got some problems.
What was the reason WHY she did it? Iâm curious what your moms rationale was
YOUR BABY SHOULD BE #1! Put her first! Give your Mom a notice, and let her go. Sometimes you have to love people from a distance
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Id kick her out, she hurt your child, its common sense
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I mean - I guess find out the intention? But I see this as a harmless prank. We did this to one another all the time. To our parents, to our siblings, I do it to my husband now too. Itâs a prank. Donât look too much into it unless she was TRYING to be malicious.
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She was just being a granny
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My husband use to do that to our kids when they where tall enough he hot it backâŚThey also used my kitchen chairs and uses our bucket adds ice except it backfired &soaked the. Both my husband said he wa watched the whole thing And had to cover his mouth from laughing Tuffin up shes just playin.or tell them PAYBACKS A BIT H
LOL
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I get it your upset. My dad use to do this to us all the time lol 
he loved us he has always been a prankster I love my dad he made my childhood so much fun. Honey if youâre so mad about it why donât you talk to your mom if you canât live with her kick her out sheâs an adult sheâll figure it out remember sheâs your mom and you only get one.
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That mom needs to go, before someone calls family and children service, and you have no daughter. There are people out there who would love to have youâre little girl. Make her first and forever in their home and life
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I think this really depends on the relationship between your daughter and her. If they donât have the kind where they normally joke around then yes this would be an issue.
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Your child should come before your mom, mom is grown and can fend for self but you are your childâs only defense so
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Iâd sit her down and talk to her. Be stern, tell her thatâs not the way a grandmother treats her grandchild!!
Idk was it a prank ?
If so then no .
Set boundaries itâs ur home .
Talk to your kid and let them know it was just cold .thatâs why it felt like that. Iâm sorry it upset you. I will talk to her and tell her not to do it again .
And then do it back to grandma .
if she doesnât like it say donât do it to my child.
cause she didnât like it . Also grow up .
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Tell your mom to leave if she canât behave like an adult, she might end up hurting your child. But be prepared for any drama.
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Grandma should apologise to granddaughter, and boundaries need to be set and respected.
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If your mother is constantly pulling pranks and attacking your child your child does not feel safe in her own home a grown woman should not be pouring a glass of cold water on a child in the shower your daughter feels she has no privacy you need to point this out to your mother and you need to set down rules and tell her if it comes down to a choice between her or your child she will lose
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Let me get this right, you wanna kick your mom out of a place to live bcuz she poured cold water on ur daughter while she was in the shower? Is this even real? Me and my siblings did that all the time⌠its a joke. You know, like a prank? Be careful of how you treat your mother, your daughter is watching and Iâm sure youâd be heart broken if ur daughter threw you out over something so insignificant.
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Was it a joke??! Lol if itâs not kick her out
Why is your mother in the area where your 10 year old is showering? unless she physically cant shower herself thatâs a private area! She has no business being in there!
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My dad would do this to me and my sisters all the time 
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I do this to my husband and kids all the time
Itâs a joke not a⌠nevermind you prob wouldnât get it.
Seriously though, lighten upâŚitâs cold water,itâs not going to hurt her lol
Maybe grandma sees how uptight yâall are and is trying to make someone in the household laugh cuz itâs prob pretty boring for her with no sense of humor from her family 
I hope you learn to laugh because life sucks when youâre crabby all the time.
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my question was or is is she doing this to your daughter to be malicious and hurtful or is she doing it as a funny haha prank?
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Not even the water that concerns me as much as you saying sheâs basically been nothing but a problem. We are not entitled to care for our parents. We certainly are not to put their well being above our childrens. Mom needs to go like yesterday.
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Terrible. Sounds like she is abusive! Im so sad for all of you. Sounds like she needs professional help.
Iâve done that prank a lot but to a 10 year old⌠Thats not right to me. I wouldnt kick your mom out but your house your rules. Def have a talk and make her apologize. Kids that age have enough going on.
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Kick her out ur child over ur mom honestly choose ur child over everyone
In the first place why you let her in if you knew she has drug problem!?
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Pranks me and hubby have done it for years . May be your daughter done it to her or flushed the tolite with her in the shower. Donât always assume your kid is tye innocent victim when 9 times out of 10 they can dish out but canât take it.
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Was she mean to you? Was she abusive?
Cold water hits you for a split second before the warm water washes it away. Sounds harmless and you both need the lighten up a bit đ
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She would have been gone the first time she EVER mistreated one of my kids. Mother or not.
I did it to John lots of times
It was a joke
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She sounds like the kind of person you would have to worry about leaving her alone with. Iâd kick her out. Sounds like she is really tormenting your daughter. Do whatâs best for your child mom or not.
Sounds like a prank?
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Depends if she was beiing cruel or was she just joking around.
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Man Iâm.sorry mom.would be out the damn door so fast. First my kid is in the shower do not invest her privacy idgaf who you are secondly if sheâs causing problems.for and with your kid its time for her to go. Your kids come first tour mom.a whole grown woman
Mom needs help, maybe family counseling.
If mom is doing things to your daughter to be evil, you need to nip this in the bud.
Just throw the blow dryer in on her while shes showering, problem sold. #whoselaughingnowmom
Maybe she has too much time on her hands, she needs to get a job
What in the hell is wrong with her thatâs crazy
Did I read that right the little 10 year old girl said it burned her? But it was a glass of cold water just saying sorry hun but it sounds to me you yourself are unhappy with her there and youâre looking for any little reason to get rid of her all in all God bless you all
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Pouring cold water on someone in the shower is a classic prank lol , now if it wasnât in a joking manor and she was doing it to be spiteful then I definitely make her leave ⌠my childâs comfort and safety will always come first !
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That sounds really evil to me and I would be having a firm conversation with her about boundaries and if it happens again, kick her out
My mom did this all the time it was so much fun. Lol cold water doesnât but. Your skin!
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Are you sure it was cold water? It burned her skin? Are you 100% sure it wasnât hot water? Either way itâs bloody weird and I would be having a serious talk with her donât leave her alone with your child. Donât take this risk.
I sure wouldnât leave my kids alone with her unless your kids pick up and return the crap back. My kids would have a hay day this lady for sure .
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If your mum is staying⌠Protect your daughter. Are you able to leave your mum alone with your daughter? She has no business being in the bathroom of a 10yr old⌠If you are there⌠Odd situation⌠Mental health problems.
Your kids come first. Period
I feel like your daughter is overreacting. But thatâs just me. Iâd tell your mom to lay off and if she keeps it out then tell her sheâs got a week to get out or something.
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My grandparents threw a bucket of cold water on me to wake me up one time and my family didnât disown them
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Itâs a normal joke, my husband and I have done this to each other since weâve lived with each other lmao. Now I can understand why your daughter was upset, being young and not expecting it can be upsetting. Iâd try to determine if it was in a joking manner or with malicious intent. If sheâs doing these things purely to upset/hurt im sorry sheâd have to go. My daughters comfort in her own home comes first. However if it was a joke Iâd sit your mother down and let her know that was a line she crossed that she will NOT cross again. Be stern.
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If the roles were reversed and I was in your shoes my mother would definitely have to go. She chose the drug past and sheâs choosing to create problems in the house. She should be grateful you opened your home to her. If it was me she would have to go. I have a daughter and I will always take what she says and feels
seriously. Thatâs just my opinion
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Throw a glass of water on her and tell her to get out
Was just a joke calm the hell down.
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If her skin is very sensitive
Nerves are superior sense and cold water would feel like it was burning her
I have fibromyalgia and thatâs how cold water feels so I hate when people spray me with cold waterâŚi dont jump into pools it really does hurt very bad!
AnywayâŚi think it was a prank
Have ur daughter do the same prank
U didnt give us more info on what ur mother doesâŚshe sounds immature and maybe vengeful
I have an aunt like thatâŚ
Give it mother set boundaries and a timeframe
I do this all the time to my kids usually with a full jug unless it was hot water it wouldnât burn
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I would speak to her and tell her in no uncertain terms of she cannot behave like a normal adult you will kick her out ⌠you donât owe her anything
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OK, so you are a grown ass woman whoâs daughter is being terrorize by your mother , another grown ass woman, And you get on this site to ask for our opinions on just what to do !!! We as parents are suppose to protect our child at all c
She would be out that door! No one hurts my kid period. Mother, partner no one!!!
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Personally if sheâs constantly causing problems for your daughter I would say mom has to go! When your children speak⌠listen!! Even if it was a âprankâ it obviously made her feel some kind of way or she wouldnât have said anything. Explain to your mother that isnât what you do in your house and if she canât agree to leave your child alone then 
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Do you not have door locks? Have your daughter lock the door when she is in the bathroom and in her bedroom. You can get locks with a master key to open them from the outside if needed and wear it around your neck or put it someplace your mom canât get to it.
Is your mom in therapy? Does she have a job? She needs to deal with whatever drove her to drugs in the first place & be active in Narc Anon, and yâall need to go to the counterpart organization for family of addicts to be constructively supportive of each other. WHY does she pick on your daughter? Once you have the answer you can find a solution/s.
If she is employable, find her at least a part time job. If not, find somewhere she can volunteer to give her some self esteem, a sense of purpose and something to focus on besides you and your daughter. It will give her something new to talk about & her life wonât be so wrapped around you & your daughter & maybe give her the tools to eventually move out on her own.
Keep in touch with social services to see if there are any other options for her (halfway houses, group homes, subsidized retirement homes).
Maybe some family counseling sessions with your mom would help to set boundaries everyone can live with. If itâs too tense discussing things with her by yourselves, a third party can be really helpful & give you each strategies to live harmoniously. If you have an EAP at work, you can use it three times. Otherwise look up whatâs available in your area at lower cost. Itâs worth the money if you have to pay full price though. Sometimes reframing can make a HUGE difference in how you see & react to others.
Decide on what you can & canât live with & set some rules. Then have a family meeting and discuss. Put a reward system in place for achieving goals for each family member. Have family meetings every week to discuss problems & successes.
Give the speaker a set number of minutes to talk and something to hold. No one is allowed to interrupt until time is up or the person relinquishes the object, whichever comes first. Each person gets equal say. Ask the person with the problem what they think should be the consequence for not following through (maybe just no gold starâyouâd be surprised at how well adults respond), then have others weigh in if needed. Only the person with the object can speak at a time until theyâre done or time limit is reached. Give people paper & pen to write down their ideas if they are afraid of forgetting them while someone else is speaking. It takes a while to master not interrupting, so keep at it and donât expect perfection right away. Maybe have stress balls for those not speaking until everyone gets the hang of active listening.
At the end, have everyone say something nice about each other & something they are thankful for/something good that happened this week. Say as much good stuff as you want at a time. We often are so focused on the negative that we forget all the positives we have. Roof over your head? Shoes on your feet? Not living in a war zone? Not living in a car? Free K-12 education? Access to healthcare? Living in a mostly free society? Food on the table/in your stomach? Sidewalks? Occasional sunshine? Safe neighborhood? Flush toilets? Thinking positively on a regular basis can actually alter your brain and moods after a while.
You can determine solutions for problems right at the family meeting then or have people think about it through the week and come back in 7 days with solutions and then decide on them. Remember no interruptions when others are speaking. Break actions down into the smallest parts.
For example, in marriage counseling my husband said he wanted me to keep the house clean. Too big & overwhelming & not specific. Then pick up the living room. Still too big. Finally he said I should hang up my coat when I get home. Done! Iâve done it ever since. Each week you can add one specific chore. Donât add much more than that to increase the chance of success. Baby steps!
Make a rewards chart as a reminder & give stars for complying X number of times per week. Decide how many stars are needed each week to get a reward. Donât expect perfection. Maybe 50% of the time is good enough. You can also award stars for NOT whining or complaining about the change in behavior!
Try not to make rewards all food like going out for ice cream; maybe the other two give a facial or manicure, you get to pick the next nightâs dinner, a nice new pen, a hair ornament, a quarter or a dollar, you get a bedtime story read to youâthis can be charming as an adult too. Maybe have a variety of rewards to choose from.
Tell your mom living with yâall is contingent on complying with house rules. You donât expect perfection or instant turn around, but she has to make consistent effort at improving (as do you and your daughter). Everyone needs to have chores/actions to make this work. Decide what threshold has to be met after 3 months for her to continue living there. After 3 months, re-evaluate. If things are going in the right direction she stays, if not give her 30-60 days to make new arrangements with your help (youâve been in touch with social workers, Narc-Anon sponsors, etc.). If change is happeni,ng but not fast enough, give her another month to consistently up her game, then re-evaluate.
Good luck! We all need to relax & compromise some, but we also need to have boundaries. Itâs never too late to have a happy (enough) ending! People are the hardest things we ever have to deal with.
My father used to do this. Buckets of ice water.
Invaded my privacy each time.
Sometimes things just arenât funny when they humiliate the subject.
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I think u need to chill out
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Pouring cold water on doesnât burn u and was it a joke ? Iâve done this to my bf and he done it to me
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, chuck her out? I would of fkn knocked the scum out firstâ:rage:
& wtf is she also doing invading a 10 year olds privacy in the shower 
⌠it would be gone in 60 seconds if that was me get it out & keep it out!!!
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