God Will Give You More Than U Lost Trust Him
Book yourself a flight, turn up unannounced and collect your belongings!
Can you go back and demand to take the stuff?
Thatās Not Funny At All
Call her bluff and call the damn police
I just have one questionā¦ where the heck did u go on a 65 k trip to???
Fly back there and get the important items. You shouldnāt have left his ashes.
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Id go there and start packing my stuff up
Geez if you got money now just take the L and get new shit.
Maybe contact a lawyer to find out if legally anything you can do
Sounds like a trip is in orderā¦
After 30 days in most state it becomes abandoned property. You would have to take them to civil court for your belongings.
Your mother sounds like an ungrateful bitch, excuse my language but that is just not on! After all you done for her itās the least she could do especially since its so sentimentally important to you. She agreed to do it so she should stand by her word but it sounds like she got all she wanted off you and wanted to do nothing in return. Not sure what you can do other than fly back to get it
Unfortunately it would be considered abandoned property at this point, unless you possibly had something in writing
Sounds like you need to cut your losses and move on.
Maybe they want you to go back! Maybe they miss you. 
This is disgusting to me
Where are you located
After 30 days its legally their property in most places. Try and get your priority items and then cut contact in my opinion
Itās showing who they are. Iām sorry 
I wouldāve had an estate sale or yard sale prior to moving but since you didnātā¦ go back get whatās important and chalk up your losses to lesson learnedā¦ Iām sorry for your losses by the way however, you canāt force people to be good, compassionate people when clearly they arenātā¦ now you know
Let it go and move on
I would fly back and bring the cops with me to get my stuff. Also any type of proof itās yours would help.
Go back there with the police. Cut them off.
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Iām going to addā¦ cut off all ties.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mom won't give me my things, what can I do?
Hate to say it but personal experience, not all Moms are giving. Too many are self centered and taking, never giving back what other children experience.
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Wow. Just wow. I am so sorry for your loss. I am also so sad for you that your family is treating you this way. My heart hurts for you. I wish I had advice on what you can legally do, but, I donāt. I do, however, feel I can offer advice on some of you & your sonās belongings. Although I have my doubts that your mom will show any empathy for you, maybe a heart-felt letter describing some items that mean a lot to you & your son that are meaningful & irreplaceable & asking her to send those. Iām keeping you in my thoughts & prayers that she & your brother can do whatās right. If not, I feel the best thing to do would be to cut tiesā¦as hard as it may be, itās even harder being rejected & treated horribly over & over again. You donāt deserve any of their sh*t! Hugs
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First off anyone here who says anything along the lines of āthatās still your motherā after reading how horrible sheās done you, is a toxic person and you shouldnāt listen to them. No one, absolutely no one has a right to treat you this badly & still be in your life afterwards no matter if she is your mom. I would show up unannounced and get your belongings, if you have proof that those are your late husbands ashes then take that proof with you for the police. If they still refuse to give you the things that are sentimental to you (your brother included) then I would tell them theyāll never be in your life or your childās life again if theyāre gonna continue to keep your things from you that they know means to much to you. Sentiment things after someone passed away are absolutely priceless and Iām so sorry that youāre having to go through this and for your loss. Your āmomā and brother both sound like completely toxic horrible people.
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I think at this point. You are out of it all. Iām sure most countries are 30 days āitās considered abandonedā. But you left your country to pretty much marry a complete stranger. The clothes wonāt fit your son no more. Iād tell her to send the ashes and call it good
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Can you fly back and get your stuff? Show up unannounced. The police will be more likely to help if you are physically present
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Have a friend go over and get a few of the most important itens like the teddy bear or fly back and grab what you can.
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God this comment section is full of Karenās. I would fly back and the collect your stuff if you can. Then cut all ties theyāre complete unappreciative wasters.
Wowā¦ your family sure is something
Sorry for your loss and then have to deal with a bunch of savages who keep your belongings hostage while theyāre threatening to flush the ashes down the toilet.
Iād be flying out (unannounced) and personally reclaiming all my stuff and arranging a shipping container while Iām out there. Bring police if you have to.
For all those who are saying ātoo bad so sad, you abandoned it for 2 yearsāā¦ you donāt know how much nagging and reminding to send out the boxes, went into those 2 yearsā¦
There was an agreement to get the boxes sent out.
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I understand you want your belongings but that is your mother. You said she had nothing when you left her, be kind & remember that is the woman who raised you. Have you considered maybe she doesnāt have the money to send you your stuff?
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Cut your losses !!! Move on !!! Itās only stuff??? Replaceable!!! Be the bigger person Donāt dwell on it !! Pray for her whatever her reason you will probably never know! But ask her why see what her reason is!! Just live your life like she has passed on & remember the time you & her spent together that was good!! Bible says to honor your father & Mother!!
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65k trip where did you go
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I just wanna know what kind of trip was 65k 
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Good grief what kind of animals are they?? Iād cut all ties and move on. Maybe before you do though theyāll sell you the ashes and some things your sons father had given him. SMH know theyāll have a special place in hell!
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Leave it, what goes around comes around. They will be answerable for this. For your son he has a great mum like you who will share all your memories with him. Donāt get upset
I donāt mean to be the bearer of bad news here but itās been 2 years! Do you/did you have any type of agreement with her in writing that she was to return your things? While I find what your family has done to be absolutely disgusting, after 2 years, if there wasnāt a written agreement to be enforced, the items are considered ABANDONED and there really isnāt any legal recourse for you to get them back. It sucks and itās a shame that your own MOTHER could do these things to you, but from the sound of what you said, if you can afford a 65K TRIP, you certainly sound like your in the position to purchase new items. While you canāt replace items of sentimental value, monetary items like a TV and furniture can be replaced.
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Send her money to ship the items, one at a time incase she really has no interest in giving them to you, maybe she canāt afford to mail them, give her money for the first package the with the second one pay her when you get it and then send money for the next
Fly back unannounced, bring police escort because it is your belongings. If you have text/written proof that they were supposed to mail you your belongings then there shouldnāt be any problems. Dont contact them again until you show up at the door in person. Also, if the apartment is in your name, you can get the locks changed while they are out until you can get your stuff. Them being āhomelessā for a while might help them see their wrong doings.
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You might be able to physically go get your things but two years might constitute abandonmentā¦ If your mother has zero money and no way to stand on her own two feet how did you expect her to have the money to send you a box every month???
Im sick to my stomach and in tears for you.
Make a trip home go through your belongings and ship them to your new home and trash what you donāt need your mother probably canāt afford to ship 23 boxes and your were lucky she managed to send atleast 3 to you
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I feel like if itās been 2 years you forfeited your things ā¦ itās your word against thereās probably not going to get anything but hurt feelings out of it if you push it
My ex husbands family did the same to me even after having a verbal agreement to pack mine and my daughters things up and store them but when I went t get them I was told no I had abandoned them it pisses me off cause I cant replace those things my daughter made me or all the pics of her and baby book
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Sounds like your Mom was mad about you moving. Maybe she āthinksā as long as she has your stuff that you will come back āhome.ā What terms were you and your Mom on before you left? Have you ever discussed with her about her coming to visit or maybe seeing if she wanted to move with you (at a later time of course)? Either way itās wrong for your Mother to not giving you your property and such. Just remember that woman IS and will ALWAYS be YOUR Mother. If your marriage falls apart a year or two down the road where will you go? I can almost guarantee it would be to your Momās. Always remember how you treat someone comes back on you. So while people are saying cut her off or get the police involved is ignorant. Remember your Mother never charged you rent and even though you let her stay with you rent free and etc. that you developed a closer relationship with her now that youāre an adult. Whatās the point of calling the police? She didnāt āstealā your stuff. YOU left it all behind. Sounds kind of liked you jumped into the marriage and ran off to come to the US. I would NEVER call the cops of my own Mother. Let her keep the stuff you left behind or discuss with her over the phone where you both can see each others face about whatās really going on. Push come to shove and you guys canāt move forward take a break for a month or two and talk again keep trying every or 3 months. Then just quit making the effort and see id she calls ypu
why would they want to keep her husbands ashes?
There isnāt anything much you can do. If youāre in different countries, youāre out of luck
Fly back and get your stuff.
Iām sorry for your loss and having to deal with all of this but unless you have the agreement in writing then they canāt necessarily do anything about it they can allow you to get your belongings from the premises if youāre present. They may need proof you own/bought the items tho so as long as you have pictures or receipts you should be able to get everything.
Sad Fly back and get it all. The reality is you did leave it there.
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Wow so sad your family is like that. KarmA is a bitch. Id cut my losses and move on. Your husband will remain in your heart ashes or not. Material things come and go in life but lessons learned are forever. āLet go and let Godā.
Why donāt you go there and get them yourself.
Go āvisit.ā Pack all your stuff up that you really want and send it to your address.
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Cut your losses and carry onā¦
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I canāt read past $65k for a trip 
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Maybe hire someone to collect them and even put them in storage until you can get them . I donāt know what horrible ppl behave that way itās disgusting worse being your own family
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These stories make you wonder if this is just somebody making stuff up.
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If you have money for a $60,000 vacation, you have the money to go get your things rather than relying on someone else to send them to you. If your mother agreed to send you your items, she should honor that, but since she is not, itās up to you to retrieve them or to cut your losses.
You immediately lost me at the $65,000 vacation. If you can afford that, you could have afforded to ship your things over yourself. Sorry but this oneās on you
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Jesus some jealous people on here.
Just because someone has money doesnāt mean they donāt feel like a human does.
She has spoilt her mummy and sheās been awful to her back.
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Sounds like my family. I feel bad for you!!
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Go and get your stuff, woman.
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I believe itās illegal to with hold ashes or a body. I believe no matter where you live itās considered malicious malice to keep a body or ashes. Iād get on a plane and get my shit. But I also wouldnāt leave the important things like my husbands ashes behindā¦
Iād fly back and get the stuff and then completely cut her off and I would not mention that youāre flying back I would just show up
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I think I would go back and get the important stuff and have them shipped to the US. Your husbands ashes, your sons sentimental things, etcā¦ Forget about the furniture and washer and dryer. You can buy those here for probably less than the shipping cost. You could also try to sell them back home to recoup some of your money.
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Take it as a loss and move on.
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Move on. Your starting a new life so get new stuff. Let it go. Itās just stuff. You and your sonās well being is more important. That stuff may be the only memory your Mom has left of you and your son to hold on to. Donāt sweat the small stuff. Lifeās too short.
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Just ask for the teddy bear and his ashes and call everything else a loss
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Thatās so sad. That your brother is laughing at you.
Fly back and get your things shipped yourself. You should have just done it yourself.
Sounds like you will be lucky to have anything back. Sad times 
Go get the ashes, sentimental things and watches. I would cut contact with your brother and mother now. This is too much to have to endure.
You have been kind by spoiling your mum and she treats you like this? Awful
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Have her send the ashes and call it a wrap. Its been this long. Ur son cant even use the stuff. Lord.
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Personally Iād fly back without telling them and just show up. That way they canāt do anything to your late husbands ashes out of spite.
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Go back and get your things 
if you can afford a 65k trip then Iād imagine you can afford to fly back home, get your belongings - take them to the airport and pay to fly them back to wherever you live.
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I would advise you to travel and send your things yourself, itās a shame that not even your mother can be trusted.
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You can fly back, but they donāt legally have to allow you in the residence. Iāll call local authorities first to see what your rights are. If anything you can sue them. But that will be a process. Personally, Iād take the loss and move on. The amount of money going into travel and court would probably be more than the items in question. His ashes is a terrible loss, and you have my sympathy on that.
Honestly if you can afford the 65 k trip and to help your mom out then you can afford to go back with some muscle and movers and get your shit. If it was items meant so much they shouldnāt have been left, not for that long at least.
I think its family n let it go odds are ur son has grown out of shoes and clothes if its been this longā¦ cut ur losses.
Zero to stand on your own? And your expecting what? And mind you thereās only 23 boxes, sending with zero income, humm, if it had been me, Iād been shipping boxes befor I left, ya know, for my important stuff.
Iād go back for the ashes & try for your sonās things but that may be a loss. You should have put them in a storage unit and then flown back, mail the stuff to new place. Good luck and if you do get your stuff back, ashes that is, Iād cut that family out of your life. Thatās a shitty thing their doing. Smh. Been there though and happier without certain family!
If you can afford to take her on a 65K trip canāt you afford to buy new things, you donāt say where she lives but it is expensive to ship things
That is just stupid of them. They need to grow up and respect your boundaries!
Okay but if the items were that valuable why wouldnāt you make sure they came with you to begin with? Donāt get me wrong itās an awful situation all together I just canāt understand why youād leave such precious items there. Especially if you can afford that expensive of a trip.
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Let it go. Move on. It isnāt worth it and will only continue to make you unhappyā¦ So sorry!
Iād fly out there and smack the shit out of all of them, in all honesty. Let them read all of these in print outs you take with you. Pieces of shit for family they are.
It doesnāt worth the fight. Let it go! Call the cops on family from a distance doesnāt make any sense. From distance I canāt even get information from my family. Leave alone 23 boxesā¦.
Wow what a shitty mom. So sorry that happened to you. Sometimes family are just ungrateful and careless. Makes you not want to help them anymore. I would fly back just to get your husbands ashes. Very sorry. Remember those are material things and karma will get her and your brother too.
What a proud Daughter
If you knew your mom needed help getting on her feet, how did you expect her to send your things from one country to another? I donāt agree with what she is doing, but financially you sound stable, why not fly back there and have it packed up and sent over? Iām sure it will cost less than that 65k trip you took. Other than that not much else you can do. Good luck. Sorry you are going through this. Sounds nasty.
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While I do not agree with what the family is doing for reasons of morals, what you did was effectively abandonment of material things. As you explained yourself, your mom was not capable of taking care of her own responsibilities. So I donāt understand how you thought she would take care of your wants by sending these things. If you were as financially able as you state, you should have just hired a moving company and shipped a container load to yourself. Sorry that you have such a sad life lesson. Hopefully they are at least willing to give you a few of the sentimental items, but if I were you, Iād just cut my losses for my mental health sake.
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Why does she have to pay you back for a trip you took her on? Was that not a gift? I would have shipped everything, especially the sentimental things myself. I would just ask for the sentimental items to be sent to your son, cut your losses on the rest.
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Time to take a trip back to your old home if only to get your husbandās ashes. She relied so much on you in the past, Iām sure she will need you again in the future. Get the ashes (or not,) cut all ties, and move on. There will come a time she will need you again.
Praying you can get an attorney and get your things back, I donāt know about the laws in your homeland, but theft is a crime in most places. It is horrible of your family to steal from you, especially as you were so kind. Sadly, sometimes we just have to look forward and write them and the past out of our lives. They have demonstrated that they donāt care about you or your son. 
Peace.
Iād just worry about the sentimental stuff(your late husbandās ashes,teddy bear,shoes) and leave the rest.
My 19 year old is in a similar situation with her Dad. He moved away and took her things. They say there is nothing she can do of he wonāt give them back.
Is there no way you can go back there to go and get the most important stuff that you want back?
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I would take a tripā¦ pretend itās for a family visit. Pack your stuff and bring it to a shipping place and send it all back to America yourself.
If they flush asses flush your moms an brotherās alsoā¦ thatās what I would tell them get your shit and cut all ties
Thatās so toxic , your family should be ashamed.