My MIL lives with us and constantly invites people over when my husband and me just don’t want anyone over. We have talked to her about this numerous times, and she threatens to move out every time because she should be allowed to see her other grandkids/kids. I’m not opposed to having people come over, but I do believe they don’t need to be over every single day. I also don’t understand why she can’t go see them at their homes, why they always have to come to our home. Then she proceeds to tell me I should just go back to my bedroom, I’m sorry, but this is my house as well. I should be able to be in the living room without having anyone come over. Every time we argue about the situation, my husband takes her side and tells me I’m always in the wrong. Yesterday she told me she wishes I would just leave in front of my four-year-old daughter. I’m at a lost of what to do, and if we can’t come to a compromise, I’m afraid my marriage is going to be over because I can’t deal with this anymore. My husband and I currently own our home; she pays us rent. I’m just looking for advice or to come to a reasonable compromise for this situation.
Next time she threatens to move tell her ok fine and give her 30 days. Also your husband needs to be on your side unless he wants to move out as well.
She needs to move out. She’s treating your house as if it were hers and she’s violating boundaries
Tell her to leave. Husband has a problem, he can go too.
Simple.
Tell them both to go
Maybe pick days of the week that are “no guest” days at your house, ad the other days of the week are days she can invite people over?
Why is she living there when the ppl that visit everyday should take her in
I would kick her out. Or kick out whoever comes over
Evict her and your hubby, you don’t need all that negativity.
Give her a 2 week notice to quit. You need the room for a family member. Since she pays rent you can’t just kick her out you will have to go the landlord route.
She’s paying rent, therefore it’s her house too. Simple solution: don’t live with her.
She gotta go. PERIOD.
f*ck the old hag out…
Tell her to move out If your husband can’t put his foot down and stand up for you then so be it. Don’t let her guilt trip you with being homeless either. She can go stay with her other family she invites over. She should respect that it’s your home first and she’s merely a “guest” who pays you to live there.
In laws are grown they shouldn’t be intervening in their kids life, my future mil was a nightmare to live with and is currently living with her other son also tearing apart his relationship with his gf they don’t make good roommates and it creates unnecessary problems in healthy relationships I’m sorry you’re going through it I hope you find a solution I left until my man got us a place of our own
If she didn’t pay rent that would be a different story but she does pay rent so it like a roommate situation they pay rent they can do what they want but ur husband should have ur side and defend u yall dont need to live with her if it’s going to ruin ur marriage
Hubs is enabling MIL behaving like the matron of the house. There lies the problem.
She pays you rent so it’s her home to not just yours and your husbands,so sorry but she is as much entitled to have guests as you are
That’s like renting of a landlord to be told noone can come over for a visit.
If you you can’t all come to some agreement then tell her to look for some where else live it’s really that easy ,if hubby doesn’t like it tuff he can go with mummy
You accept rent from her, by doing that she is now a tenant. As a tenant you as a landlord can’t put restrictions on whom she has over or when she has them over or how often. Suck it up buttercup.
First, you need to sit down with your husband and get on the same page. Then you need to sit down with her and come up with some VERY specific guidelines. Maybe it’s that she can have ppl over on Wednesdays and Saturday and Sunday, but other days she needs to refrain from having guests. If she cannot agree to your guidelines, she needs to move. Plain and simple. It sounds like that she thinks she’s the one allowing you to live in your own home…
If she is disrespecting you in front of your child it’s time for her to go.
She needs to go and hubby needs to grow a set of balls or kick his ass out to.
I would kick both of them out lol
Change the locks kick them both out. She’s not on any paper work she has no legal right to be there. As for him hand him divorce papers he’s still attached to the cord let them go live together somewhere else
Your marriage is already on the path to over if your husband is siding with her over you.
If she’s threatening to move out great let her. Saves an exiction notice
Sounds like a sit down with your husband is needed. Your MIL should not be allowed to speak to you like that in front of your daughter for any reason and needs to stop!
I would speak to your husband and see if between the two of you, you can find an agreement of which days work best in your schedule for guests. Put it on a calendar and have your husband take the lead in bringing it up to his mother as a tenant. If she wants to threaten to move out when this subject is brought up then here is a solution.
Also, does your house have a double parlor, basement or another room that can be used as a second living room space? If so, maybe this might work as an option for her.
I would explain to your husband how you don’t want to cause a rift between his and his Moms relationship but you need something to improve here because you feel this is starting to threaten your marriage and that isn’t fair to you, your daughter or him. And you need some middle ground. Let him know, you don’t expect him to fix it all but would like to try to fix it as a team you have to work together.
Reasonable compromise??? She’s got to go! Your house your rules, if she doesn’t like them she should go. You can bet if the roles were reversed she’d want you out. Dont be reasonable be forceful. Your husband is a wuss.
You need to tell your husband and her that she is a tenant and if anyone’s moving it’s her . If he doesn’t back you up , kick both of them out !
It depends.are you dependent on the money she pays you in rent? If you are i would try to find a way to make it work so she can have vistors.maybe put in a living room in the basement or something. And if you dont need her money maybe help her find her own apartment.
Kick that cheeky nag right out that front door… along with that limp wristsd mummy’s boy… how dare she treat u like a lodger in your own home… stand up for yourself and your child… if you don’t …she will forever treat u like this … make a stand… for your child more than anything. Kick that horrid women out.
She pays rent so she has rights. It would be like if you rented an apartment but the landlord said no one is allowed to come over. If she wasn’t paying rent that would be different. But if you don’t like it tell her to move out. Go through the process of kicking her out. But you and your husband have to be on the same page first.
Sorry but I’d put her out. She can find somewhere else to rent and have alllll the company she wants. If Mamas boy doesn’t like that then he can go with her
Other side of the coin same situation!
There’s two sides… she lays rent… that’s like you paying rent and not being able to have your friends over… but yes it shouldn’t be every day kind of thing and there should be conversation about it before people come over. But it is your house and you should be able to have peace in your own home…really you need to just sit down with both of them and discuss that it needs to be discussed before people are over. And ask that it not be every day. Don’t completely say no guests when she is paying rent. Because she is paying to stay there.
Sister. I will pray for you. I promise. We love you and your family. Hold hands with your husband and pray. The Holy spirit will find y’all
Its not that hard she respects the rules or gets tf out period. Your husband don’t like it he can go right along with her. Don’t allow them to dictate ur home
She has to go , that’s never gonna work telling u to get out of ur living room like fuck I would , also yes she has other kids and grandkids but how does she not go visit them at there houses sometimes no one wants vistors none stop am sure ur husband wouldn’t like it if the shoe was on the other foot and it was ur family I 100 percent wouldn’t allow myself to be bossed about in my own house and have no say over it.
If she pays rent she has every right to have people over. If you don’t need the extra money that comes in from her paying rent then have her move. The plain fact that she tells you to move out however is ridiculous If you and your husband own the house she shouldn’t be saying that unless it’s her house!!
Either sit down an have hubby see your side an if he doesn’t then take the steps yourself too evict her . You shouldn’t be talked down on around your child nor should you have to tolerate visitors if you don’t want them. Suggest her too something she may be able too afford… make sure your name is on that house…
Can you not convert the garage into a granny flat with it’s own front door? She can have people over anytime she like then without disturbing your peace , brave woman who agrees to have their mil in her house , mine would of been under a patio
She’s got to go and if your husband doesn’t want her to, then he has got to go too.
Try agreeing to certain days for her visits, certain days no visits. Tell her you want her to be comfortable and you just need some down time. It really isn’t too much to ask.
I’d be giving her an eviction notice
Well she could always take her rent money and go get her own place then she ccx an have whoever se wanted over when ever
Legally, the only thing you can do is serve her with a 30 day eviction notice. Regardless of what paperwork she is on, anything, if she receives mail there and pays rent, she is a tenant and there is a legal way to go about evicting her. Also, evictions may not be happening in your state right now. As a tenant to the property, you cannot tell her she can’t have guests over. There is literally NOTHING you can do besides legally evict her. I also read it as she is having her other children/grandchildren over and if that’s the case then yes, you’re in the wrong as your husband says. It’s literal family she is having over. You just sound a little grinchy.
Find her a new place
Tell her to pack up n move out
If she threatens to move out because of it. Help pack her bags… No need to live with parents or inlaws… That’s just asking for trouble
She needs to move out! It never works living with another person.
She pays rent, sooo… yeah, she can have people over. As you said IT IS HER OTHER GRANDKIDS…,Not strangers and MAYBE there is more to the story and that is why your husband is taking his mother’s side. If you don’t like it, let her move out and stop complaining about her seeing her grandkids
If she threatens to move out then let her move out.
She needs her own place. Girl bye.
Yikes. Serve her an eviction notice and if hubs isn’t on board with it, he can go with her
Compromise for the situation would b leaveeee. It’s covid and she’s bringing people over every day she’s endangering ur households & if hubby can’t understand that then mayb he should go with her!
Time for her to leave
“She threatens to move out…” so let her? If you don’t want her to move out, A. She shouldn’t be paying rent B. Deal with the situation you’re putting yourself in. Also, without further information, kinda sounds like she’s doing it because she knows it bothers you. Awful and childish, but more reason to wish her well, that the door doesn’t hit her on her way out.
Talk to him.
Tell him you’re stressed out and annoyed. That its she leaves or you do.
Oh hell no!! You should leave???!! Wth!??? And he didn’t put a stop to that right then and there!!??? Um. Nope!!!
Nope there needs to be a conversation, mom need to move to the others siblings, her own place or an assisted living place if she needs more care. I don’t care who you are , my home is mine and you will respect it or you won’t live here!!
If my own spouse couldn’t respect me and my wishes I’d be rethinking the whole relationship!
If she’s paying rent she has as much right to do as she wishes in her home as you do in your home. Besides compromising & coming to a solution which doesn’t sound possible at this point it only option is to move out. Take your daughter. File legal separation & child support immediately. Have him file for visitation right before he can see your kid. He’ll get mad & fix it to get you back.
Give her certain days for company. Either that or the next time she threatens to move out. Tell her you will help her find a place. Your husband needs to support you.
We are in a pandemic tell her to move out if you don’t want ppl there you don’t want to risk getting you or your kids sick.
Any other time I would say pick your battles. But during a pandemic, nope. She can go see them. It makes much more sense than everyone bringing germs into your house.
Husband should get in board with this unless he wants a divorce
Hmm sounds like a situation where you tell ur husband either she leaves or you leave
When you take rent from someone that’s what you will deal with
This is why you can’t have people living with you. IT’s hard enough when nobody lives with you much less adding extra stress. I would advise working toward getting her out of your home before it ends your marriage.
Since she pays you guys rent you cannot tell her who she cant have in the home. What these other folks keep saying about her leaving well legally she has every single right to be in that home because the poster must of not known about the laws regarding other ppl living in their home especially someone who pays them rent. They will need to legally go thru the courts to evict her after giving her a 30 day notice and if shes not out by the 30 days then they can evict BUT they have to give a judge a good reason besides her MIL having ppl come over. But if u wanna go ahead and leave then you’re more than welcome to leave but legally you cannot kick your mother in law out cause you got your panties in a wad over her having ppl over cause you should’ve thought of that before allowing her to live with yall and before accepting any type of money as rent from her.
Maybe all three of you sit down and discuss all the issues, see if you can compromise somewhere, if not then maybe it’s time to leave
If she pays rent it’s her home too she should be able to invite people round the same as you should be able to if you both can’t agree maybe you should both look for separate houses
give her certain days to have people over and for her to tell you go to your room dont think so maybe send her and her guests to her room rent or not dont let her treat you like this and if hubby dont like it put them both out
she tells you to leave and in front of your daughter? … and your husband takes her side ? … maybe you should tell her to leave since she is choosing to disrespect you in your own home … and maybe you should tell your husband to leave since he is letting his mom disrespect you and won’t take your side like he should
Giiiirrrlllll !!! I’d be petty and give the silent treatment AND tell hubby to sleep on the couch. When he asks why, tell him “You don’t care about what I have to say? You wanna disrespect my feelings? You want to treat me like an outcast? You wanna act like I don’t matter? You gotta lot to think about so until then, since you don’t want a partner in this marriage, you don’t get the benefits either. You either love me and want us to work or you don’t.”
For the record, just because someone pays rent in your home, it does not give them the right to do whatever they want in your home. The renter does not have the same privileges as the homeowner. Period. There may still be rules and conditions. Just like landlords can have a no pets or no smoking clause in a lease, this homeowner can choose to limit the frequency of visitors to HER home. She didn’t even say the MIL couldn’t have guests occaisionally - she just doesn’t want people in her house every single day. I think the MIL is being very inconsiderate and I she feels comfortable doing so because she has the support of her son. If the MIL wants daily visits with her other grandchildren, then she is free to go visit them at THEIR homes sometimes.
Punt her ass along with the other strays
I would tell the people to leave. Just because she pays rent doesn’t give her the right to just do whatever she wants. Just tell her either she clears people coming into your home with you or your going to start telling people to leave simple as that.
Even though it’s annoying/wrong whichever way you want to put it. She’s paying you rent so she can technically have whomever she wants over and you can’t exactly evict her until it’s allowed again or you can end up in legal trouble. All of you need to sit down like adults and talk about a compromise without arguing or y’all will just keep on fighting.
Kick her out.and him also
At this point my “ two can play that game” button would be deployed. If she can invite people in, so can you. Post Covid- I’d be picking my loudest friends, or hosting local community groups perhaps.
Family counseling so u can see its a symptom of their disrespect of u, and that u should get a lawyer
I’m confused… You said your husband feels the same way and has talked to her, but then you say your husband takes her side all the time?. Which is it?. Then you said she treated to move… So let her move then. If she pays rent and bills she should be allowed to have over who she wants when she wants. So if she wants to leave let her leave it’s simple, I think there is more to this than what’s being said.
Kick her the fuck out
No offense but if the husband takes her side then it sounds like he wants his siblings and nieces/nephews there too. You said you and him don’t want them there but if he’s agreeing with her then he wants them there and you’re the only one that doesn’t. He owns the house too so you and him need to come to an agreement on when to have them over then discuss it with the MIL.
This is her home…to bad you don’t have seperate space for visiting…
If she wants someone over its her right as she rents…
I can understand never having time in your own space . maybe set up date…for instance say Monday,… Wednesday nobody over etc…this is something you two have to discuss…sounds like you are berating her for having company in her home…
Literally tell him you want couple counseling because maybe someone outside the marriage can point out how much of an inconsiderate asshole he is to you. Someday his mom won’t be here but you both will be. Does he want to be with you or not because eventually you’ll be done with being second to his mom. It’s damaging your relationship every time he side with his mom
Kick her ass out. And if he doesn’t side with you, he can go with her.
Start Eviction process now or start divorce proceedings. Do NOT put up with the disrespect in your own home.
Why don’t you want your nieces or nephews to come over?
I get wanting time alone, but the minute you accepted rent you screwed up. You can’t accept rental money, and dictate who she invites over. I feel for you, it’s not easy to live with someone who is very social on a daily basis if you aren’t but unless she were to move out it’s not going to stop and you have no recourse… unless you go naked which someone else suggested and I guarantee that will be affective lol
Three choices:
- Move out
- Evict her
- Write her a formal month to month rental contract with all restrictions and allowances listed, including quiet hours, specific spaces rented, etc. This can include her using shared spaces but her guests being limited to only privately rented spaces such as her bedroom and bathroom.
I’ve rented and been legally bound to limit the length of my guest’s stays, the number of vehicles I could have in the drive, and the hours in which I could be audible to my neighbors. You can write anything you want into a rental agreement. If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t have to rent from you. There’s this saying that goes”this isn’t working out”.
Just leave let hubby have mum
If you are the owners and shes living with you tell her its your way or the highway, and you can find a new border easy as if she doeant like. It
Tell her to move out
Mama has to go. Only one queen in your castle. And hubby would be getting an earful, because I doubt if your father would be able to pull this stunt and still be welcomed.
Honestly if you own the home !
Tell her that if moving out will make you both happy maybe that’s what’s best …and see what happens …
You deserve happiness!
Sounds like she is using her paying rent as a weapon
Ultimatum time. Her or me. Ive done it and meant it.
If she pays rent there is not much you can do other than find a healthy compromise. I would be speaking with your husband on why he can’t see your side of it. Set certain days or times when she can have people over. That or tell her she needs to find another place live, if your husband doesn’t like it then they can go live together else where. Living with family usually doesn’t work out.
The movie Home Alone has some great tips to keep her out of your home.
She gotta go and if hubby thinks otherwise, then u gotta evaluate the situation and see if its really worth staying either
But I think issue should be resolved once the old crow is out
Tell her it’s lockdown and Boone should be coming over