Seriously?? Do u expect your own mother to do work at your home??if not than your question is invalid. If yes you need to be empathetic towards your elders
Iād never in a million trillion years expect my MIL to lift a finger in my home. Ever.
Be lucky your kids HAVE grandparents in their lives. Mine barely do.
My MIL does the same to an extent except I think she clears her own plate. Idk one of my kids may grab it from her. Sheās also 72 though, we work at the same place and we do a lot for eachother. She is my guest, I donāt mindā¦
When I have guests over I donāt expect them to clean up or cook this is my house which means Iām the hostess so I will do the cleaning up after yes guests have offered to help and my reply has always been and always will be "no thank you I got it you go relax and enjoy yourself " but thatās jmo
My mom and my mil always help or offer to help. Everyone is different. The way I see it is they are family in my home not guests.
When we go visit or have someone over, especially my kids grandparents, I like to cook and clean up for them. Especially when theyāre enjoying and entertaining the kids. When we would go visit my MIL my husband and I would cook supper for them and clean at night so they could sit on the back porch and enjoy some downtime with the grandkids. And in my kitchen I just prefer to clean. I can do it faster and easier. I guess itās just a preference and differences in how people are raised. But also, is this a nightly thing or just every once in a while?
In my home/family, guests donāt help, seeing as she is your MIL she would be considered family not a guest. In-laws are tough cookies. Iāve learned even when I donāt like something to just pick your battles. If you SO agrees with you maybe come up with how you can address it as a whole. One holiday I told my kid if she did the dishes Iād give her extra video game time. She then inturned ask grandma (MIL) to help her. Lol . I help with clean up at her holidays, seems only right she could do the same. But ya now I give the chore to the kid and grandma helps lol
I was raised it is the job of the host/hostess to take care of the guests. If they offer to help, you can accept it or not, but itās not polite to expect it
My mom and MIL help around the house and I get upset because itās my house. Play with your grand babyās. Itās fine.
Host!
A person who receives or entertains other people as guestsā¦ Some people werenāt raised rightā¦ 
Let her enjoy your children, a bond between grandparents and our children are so important.
My husband & I where both raised guest or not, you help clean up not only after yourself but other people. Even going to my sisterās house my husband does the dishes after dinner & I help my sister get her kids ready for bed. š¤·š»
My mother in law is the polar opposite she cleans and touches every surface it used To drive me crazy but Iām over it now lol she just wants to help. But sheās over frequently and spends the night in the guest room etc
When my Mom comes over for dinner she usually brings the food to be cooked sometimes she is the one to cook and if we let her know we would like some help cleaning up sheās more than happy too and when my MIL comes over she is just the type of person who wonāt leave without helping clean up any mess I kind of understand where people are coming from where they are guests in your home but if itās an often thing then yes help should definitely be given at least with clean up we usually host things here at our home because my mother just lives in a small 1 bdrm apartment and my mother in law doesnāt even live on her own but they never come in our home just expecting to be waited on nor do they take anything for granted they show the appreciation that we do host everything here I would say maybe sit down and have a talk the 3 of u or have your spouse mention if she could help a little with clean up donāt overthink it too much and u donāt have to listen to anyone on here if u donāt want to everyone has their own situations in life and only u can decide what is best for yours
I wouldnāt expect any guest in my home, especially my MIL, to come to dinner and be put to work. If they want to help, cool butā¦ Iād never expect or demand it.
You will be a mother innlaw someday, how do you want to be treated by ur daughter in law? She is the mother of your husband. Without her u wont be able to meet the love of your life. Treat her the way u treat ur mother. They have gone through a lot. Let her enjoy her grandchild. They only have few more days to be with them.
I wouldnāt expect my mom to help, so I wouldnāt expect his mom to help either. If they offer cool, but they are guestsā¦guests donāt help
She is a guest so yes you are so wrong. She has cooked meals and cleaned up after her dinners itās now your turn welcome to adulthood
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Sounds very petty. Especially when it comes to your MIL. She should be expected to have fun with your kids when visiting not cleaning and helping you.
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She is a guest in your home. Why do you expect her to do these things? She is older than you and deserves the rest. Let her enjoy her visit. Life is short.
Sheās your mom in law ffs! You invited her and you should wait on her! Itās called respect. And while youāre clearing the table sheās playing with your daughter! Get over yourself geez
Pick your battles. She is your guest. I waited on my mother in law. Happy mom, happy hubby.
When we have guest over whether itās family or friends, I always do the cooking, dish dinner out to everyone, then clean up afterwards. I am still involved in family time after dinner even while cleaning up. But thatās just me, I have a certain way I like my home, so Iām normally the one who does the cleaning up, my hubby does help but I even tell at him to go sitā:joy: I have real bad ocd when it comes to cleaning especially dishes, they have to go a certain way, certain spots 
.
Iām a grandmother and cannot imagine going to my childās house and not doing anything. I actually am the one who does all that AND spends time with the grands and lets my daughter and her fiancĆ© chill because I know what itās like. Iād rather it be like a break for them when I visit than a headache and them not want me to visit!
Maāam, even this question is bothersome in itself. Everyone w/great up bringing knows Your guest donāt have to do dishes. Especially your Mother in-law. No matter what her age. Respect her instead. W/out her you would not have her son.
If I went to my daughters home for dinner, I would be standing side by side with her helping! This is what bonds s family, my daughter is 40, I am 60,
What does your husband say? Call her out next time and state that you would like her help next time. Literally call her by name and say i want your help with dinner or dishes clean up!!
Have her son wait on her! Youāre not her child. I wouldnāt lift one finger with that chic. And I would have my husband know that
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As for my family - we donāt use labels! Weāre all family! We all help where and when needed 
been working for 13 yrs. 
Bc one day it will be your turn to relax and play with your grandchildren!!
Rememberā¦ she once too was in your shoes doing the exact same and maybe feeling the exact same way as well! -just a thought-
Sheās a guest in your house. If you donāt like it then donāt invite her over and go to her house instead. Yeah itās nice if guest offer to help but they donāt have to
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My mother in law lives out of state but when she visits I do all the work, she is to sit back and enjoy the grandkids. When we go to her house I still do a lot of the cooking and the dishes just because I want to be a help.
Sounds like a young immature mom who feels entitled. Glad I brought my girls up better than this.
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My mother in law cooks, cleans when she visits. After driving 6 hours to visit. Iām disabled and I clean before she comes and make sure she has clean towels and blankets etc. Iām blessed to have my mil. I took care of my dad when he was here a couple days ago I made him breakfast and coffee. . I do offer to bring her things when Iām in the kitchen. Drinks etc. My dads house he cooks and we help ourselves and wait on him and my uncle and we clean up our mess.
Um doesnāt matter WHO it is you donāt invite them to dinner to then expect they pitch in unless they WANT to offer .
Sheās a guest in your home you shouldnāt expect her to do the dishes and clean up now what you can do is say at dinner the dishwasher is empty and ready so please rince your plate and put your stuff in the dishwasher please thatās what I do I donāt expect anyone to clean my kitchen if I invite them to my home how ever when my husbandās family comes to our house to visit from out of state yes we all take turn cooking and cleaning up my husbandās sisters and sister in laws they keep everything clean as they go you can be drinking coffee and you sit the cup down itās gone it already in the dishwasher . My mom lives with us and we donāt ask her to cook or clean sheās 71 and my daughter makes her grandma a playe and then picks up the plate when sheās done so I guess its different for everyone
She keeps the baby occupied while youāre cleaning thatās literally half the battle.
Try asking for help at least sheās keeping your kid entertained for you do you expect your other guests to do what your expecting her to do?
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Guests are guests. Theyāre not supposed to do the work. Come on.
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Uuuummmm any guest at my house is a guest. I do not expect them to clean my house while theyāre here. I want my guest to come over and enjoy their time here. Especially my mother in law, I would rather she play with my kids and have a good visit than to be washing my dishes. Besides I donāt like anyone doing anything in my kitchen, even my husband.
You are a HOST. Itās one thing if she offers, but itās really shitty of you to EXPECT her to help. I never expect any of my guests (family or otherwise) to help cook or clean up the mess. IāM the host and itās MY job. Maybe donāt be a shitty host and stop having people over. It may be mean of me to say, but itās true 
First of all common sense tells you is there anything I can do to help youā¦ Second of all you are not a guest you are family
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Sheās ur guest and the mother of ur husband treat her like a queen as if she was ur mother as long as she is good to u and ur kids that is what is most important. I had a crappy MIL and I still treated her like a queen . just my opinion
I feel like my mother in law would be my guest. I would want her to spend time with her grandchildren. If she helps great, if not its ok. My house my turn to host and be nice.
God forbid you wanting to sit back and relax with your grandbabies and let your grown ass kids give you a break. We all know you were probably āthat kidā. Just chill and let her have a good time and relax her parenting days of slaving over her kids are done now itās your turn to take care of her!
Iām
Mother-in-law went I go over to my son and daughter in-law she tells me no we do the dishes and if she comes to my house , sometime she do the dishes for me , I have daughter in-law feels like my daughter .
Um, idk about you, but guests donāt clean in my house when invite them over for dinner
Itās called being a host, and treating your guest
This is a jokeā¦Iām kinda sick of the stuff from whoever posts this crap from this page??? Because Iām questioning your existence a person??? How do you even have a page? About to delete this nonsenseā¦ joke
Soak your dishes and enjoy your time together as a family. One day she wonāt be here and trust me you will miss her!
You are lucky to have your MIL in your life. If mine were still alive, you better believe I would treat her like a Queen. You should treat her as you would treat your mother with respect.
You should treat her as a guest. I would never expect my MIL to do anything I would help her and make food for her I would take her plate for her, clean up and do the dishes.
I mean sheās a guest in your house? Soooā¦ I donāt understand the issue ā¦
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When you go to her house does she wait on you or do you do all the w. aiting on yourself. When you have guests to come over do you usually wait on them and make them enjoy the evening and let them relax a little . Learn to enjoy your moments that you get to spend with your family
Itās not easy, but I seem to have the reverse problem. When we go and visit my husbandās grown kids, seems I am the āmaidā. I was brought up to be a āhelpfulā guest. But I get to do it all. I finally announced that āthe maid just quitā! They got the message. Donāt know about your MIL, but why donāt you try asking her to help. Canāt hurt??
My guests are never expected to help. Itās nice for them to offer, but i always reject it.
I would ask her to clean her plateā¦ I get she want to play with her granddaughterā¦ But she is being rudeā¦
I have 2 questions. Are these things you normally do in your home when she isnāt there? Then why do you Need her help when she is there? Wow what a demanding spoiled brat! Iām sorry she has you for a daughter in law.
She is a guest in your home, thatās all she should be doing. Thatās not you waiting on her, thatās you being a good host. My mom and MIL donāt do anything but be with the kids when they come over. I make sure they are 100% comfortable. Itās my pleasure. #YouABadHost #Ionlikethat
My Daughter donāt want me to help & that is fine " I did my time cooking & cleaning up after her years ago ā
Is she living there? If so, she should helpā¦ If not she is yoir guest and that should be expected of youā¦ She is the guestā¦
It is YOUR house and yes you are making her dinner as a GUEST in your house, If you need help you can ASK, but dont EXPECT her to come over and help
Huh? She came to her grandbaby not clean your house.
I would never treat a guest in my home like this.
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And honestly if a friend hosts dinner, if I feel like it I offer, but never have I been a guest and had the host say āhey, come help clean upā
I would just suck it up if I were you. Her playing with your daughter and your daughter is helping seeing the respect you give her grandma is a real good thing.
Sheās a guest, guest donāt clean dishes,let her enjoy your daughter.Donāt create a problem where thereās noneā¦
This person has no clue about edictā¦ And elder respect
Idk cause after the same person has been to my house 2-3 times your are not longer ever considered a guest you family so help yourself . Your hungry either go buy something, order or make your own food. And if your literally family you aināt handicap so do it yourself lol
I have never ever expected my mil or my mother to help clean after themselvesā¦i would go as far as serving themā¦BUTā¦in my dil/daughter positionā¦i always clean up afterā¦i even washed dishesā¦that is the way i was raisedā¦BUTā¦now my dilā¦it does bother me that she doesnāt do the sameā¦she wonāt offer to help clean up here after or wash the dishesā¦and its self serve when we go over thereā¦some ppl were raised differentlyā¦but it does bother meā¦
Really, this is what bothers you. Get a life she is your MIL, so what is wrong with picking up and cleaning after her. Iām sure when you go to her place you dont help out. Grow up, geez
Itās your houseā¦ shes a guest so you should.
Would you invite a friend over and expect them to cook the dinner and clear the table?
When you go to her house dose she make you cook and clean?
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Let your MIL enjoy playing with your daughter! The memories your daughter will have of grandma playing with her will greatly outweigh a memory of her clearing the table and washing dishes! Life is short, donāt sweat the small stuff.
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I feel like thereās missing information. On one hand sheās a guest, and sheās elderly. She may feel awkward, or she may not have realized it was offensive to you. She may have been distracted by grand kids, or the TV etc. If your spouse is also distracted by their parent that might be a conversation to have privately about sharing the responsibilities, but again entertaining is hostingā¦ but something about this says thereās more. Is she giving you a sense of entitlement? Is she critical of your cooking or your home or job or something?
Iāve always thought of it this way, my mother taught me to help. Thatās how I was raised. But I was also taught that being a good hostess means anticipating what your guest needs or enjoysā¦ and you hope that your guest is taught enough manners to be polite and social, but being a good hostess means you plan for no help and youāre pleasantly surprised when they offerā¦ but you shouldnāt be outright asking guests to workā¦ but I guess thatās just meā¦
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Youāre the hostessā¦ she is a guest. I would never expect any guest to help prepare or clean up. If they do, thatās freaking awesome and I appreciate it, but never ever do I expect it.
Next time she plans to come just tell her you guys donāt have the room
If they are guests at your house nothing should be expected of her. Thatās how itās suppose to be
She did her years of hosting itās her turn to be waited on an enjoy her time with family
She is a guest, thatās how it should be at all times. Grow up women and learn some manners!!!
Oh ,You Mean The Very Same Woman That Birthed Your Husband , Raised Him , Fed & Clothed Him , Nursed Him While Sick & Taught Him Right From Wrong ? The Same Woman That Plays With Your Little Girl While You Clean Up Dinner ? Sounds To Me As If Her Son Did NOT Make A Very Good Choice Picking Out A Wife ! WOW !!!
Shes a guest in your home. You are the host soooo is it different that shes your MIL instead if a friend? So you expect all your guests to cook and clean when they come over too. Smh. Pick your battles wisely girl, this isnt one of them.
Is that not the point of hosting ? Your the host itās your job to cater to your guestā¦ my MIL tries to help and Iām constantly telling her to go relax or play with the kids ā¦ your house not theirs
And for that matter I cook and clean at my milās house out of respect for her
This is interesting. I always helped my mil clean up , food away, dry dishes, wash dishes, take trash out. Whatever needed to be done after the meal so I was not in her way before.
I was the only one who ever did, the brothers girlfriends never offered. Not even his now wife.
Guest is a guest their in ur house and u have to serve them thatās how I raised with my family.
We were raised to cater to our elders . His momma has raised him and she deserves to sit back and be spoiled sometimes . If she wants to help thatās fine but I wouldnāt mind it , if she is visiting . Of course if she lives there that is different
She cooked for your husband all his life when she comes to your house you should be serving her
Lol dinner is at her house next time!
She is a guestā¦that means you do the workā¦
Be lucky your in-laws come around. I lost my mom last year and have totally been alone since. What I would give for someone to come be a guest in my home and just get that time with them.
Thatās when you say please take your plate to the kitchen. Atleast get her to do that. She probably assumes since she is a āguestā in your house that she doesnāt have to do anythingā¦ ehat does your SO say?
No. Sheās a guest in your house. Thatās what youāre supposed to do. Sheās also a grandma, just get used to it. Welcome to adulting. I would also count your blessings and stop bitching. You wanted to play house, so now act on it
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Really??? āEvery time we have them overā you extended the invite, meaning YOURE HOSTINGā!!! WOW, Iām beginning to understand why our world is so jacked up!!!
Keyword GUEST, you never expect someone you invited to dinner to help cook or clean after it, I have never expected my MIL to do anything but just enjoy the evening with family.
I was raised if someone feed you clean the plate .
Idk when I have company over for dinner I donāt expect help. They are my guests.
Sheās not a guestā¦ the proper thing to do is offerā¦ At least she spends time with the grandbabyā¦
This way you know were you stand and when she gets there ask her to help her self to refeshments
When someone is a guest in my house they are a guest in my house. Guests do not wash up the dishes after dinner.
If you want to bond, then ask her to come over to teach you one of her sons favorite recipes together from childhood.
If you invite them over they should not be expected to clean up.
Sheās a guest and if she did you would probably complain about it also.
One thing: do you like your mil? Sometimes when we do not like certain people, they can never do no
Good. Not to offend but look within and see what you see/feel about her
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