It might suck, but that might be a cultural thing. Some cultures are like that.
Well you obviously have a different idea on how to treat your visitor then most
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She is a guest invited for dinnerā¦ would you expect anyone else you invited over to do anything? Or do anything at a friends house if you were invited over??
I donāt understand whatās the problem?
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I mean if yall invited her then clean up after her. Atkeast she is keeping the kiddo entertained.
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She is a guest in your home . My mother in law comes and relaxes while i cook , she gets her own plate and then relaxes again . Do u make other guests help cook or wash your dishes 
is she very old , does she have trouble walking . I think u r rude for wanting a guest to do anything , your job is to make her feel relaxed and have a nice meal !
She is a guest and your childās grandmother, when you invite her over it should be for her to relax and enjoy her granddaughter, not to become your maid.
Idk most of the elders in my house hang out(but they offer) and the younger ones like myself and sister clean up you could always ask though like I mentioned
Everyone may have different traditions but guest donāt lift fingers in homes in my family. Especially my husbands grandparents they are honored as to be served but they are in thier 80s and like the crowned jewels of the family. Now during big holidays like Christmas or thanksgiving the families tend to help clean up after themselves but during just having people over we donāt ask for help. I had a c section like a week before my sons birthday party and set it up by myself and took and cleaned up by myself then I would of appreciated some help but itās whatever now.
In some cultures guests do that, I think if you visit her in her house she will serve you the same.
Itās got that she just expects it now,I know if I make dinner for family we all muck in x
I never wanted my mother in law to do anything when she cm over .we never expected her to help me if I invite u to my house I donāt want you doing anything unless you want to help
A little sugar goes a long way. I bet she feels your resentfulness. Out of respect for your husband respect his mother. Makes me wonder how you treat your husband.
Kick her to the curb, my MIL would cook and I would clean, it is a give and take
What do you want her to do ?.Maybe she feels you do not want help. Also she is a guest in your house What does your mother do when she comes for dinner ? Sometimes she might feel uncomfortable. What is she like when you go to her house for dinner?
Donāt invite them or treat them as guests.
I can only answer when I see where the problem is.
Sheās a guest in your home my mother in law is the same way . I mean do you really want her all up in your kitchen anyway
I was raised that guests in the home are guests. Although I canāt help myself and I always help. Anyway, maybe she is being respectful of your role in your home? Maybe she doesnāt want to meddle in your kitchen? Maybe she doesnāt want you to feel like she is dominating on your home? If you want help, ask her for it. If you want her to be in the kitchen, ask her to set the table. I hate people invading my kitchen till itās time to do dishes. Lol
Same, mom taught me to cater to guest. I was rhe youngest, lucky me.
I canāt wait to have a MIL to do this for 
I guess if thereās something in particular you want her to do, just ask?
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Guests shouldnāt have to do anythingā¦unless they offer to helpā¦dont expect itā¦thatās how we were raisedā¦
Maybe gently nudge herā¦could also invite someone else that does help as a hey look at me help kinda thing, or you could try asking her to help cook a dish with you or along side you, something she likes to make. It may get her to take an active role. Especially if you praise her a little. Sure youāre sucking up a little but if she doesnt jump it at that point you may just wanna give upā¦or put out a tip jar lol
Girl same. My mother in law is the exact same way!
She is a guest in your house. Why should she be expected to help?
She spent years doing it for ur husband suck it up and have a bit of respect for ur elders you wouldnāt have your daughter if it wasnāt for ur mil.
I think I get it. Sheās coming to āhelpā right? Everyone is different. So when she comes to āhelpā Just treat her like a guest and keep going. My mom came to āhelpā us after we had one off our children. She complained about everything she did. Now, I donāt ask for help. I ask her to be our guest to visit with us. I donāt let her lift a finger.
Wow she is a guest in your house! Do you treat other guests this way too?
I never expected any of my guest to clean up after we are done
Mother in law is like your mom, she should not be allowed to even wash her clothes unless she insists.
Sheās a guest in your house. Sheās an older person and the mother of your husband. Serving her supper is a hardship?
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Wait on her hand and foot. That is what you do. Suck it up buttercup
Have you ever talked to her or asked her for hwlp? Maybe she doesnt realize it upsets you
I have never once asked any of my guests to help with anything. If they ask if they can help Iāll gladly take it but would never invite someone to my house expecting them to help.
How are you treated when you go to her house? Do you offer to wash the dishes? If you offer, thatās you. She is you guest, she spent her life cleaning and cooking for her family. Why cant you do it for her? Itās just a couple platesā¦are you going to let 5 extra minutes of cleaning up after your husbandās mother to wreck your relationship??
I never expect a guest to help prepare or clean anythingā¦ theyāre guestsā¦ if they offer, like most of my guests do, I tell them āOh, you dont have to. I got it. Thank you though.ā It makes them feel good that they offered, makes me feel appreciated that they offered, but I never expect them to. I would just be happy that theyāre interested in spending time with their grandchild/grandchildren while Iām cleaning up so I can get a few minutes of peace and quiet to get it done lol
Sheās in your house. You should be cooking and cleaning for her. Let her play with her grandchild thatās what grandparents are for
Seriously? Sheās a guest in your home and you are complaining about being a proper hostess?
I would only love for my mother inlaw yo be able sit and play with her grandkids while i clean up after dinner.
She waited on your husband had and oot raising him. And she playes with your daughter while you do your thing. stop complaining!
Sorry, but that is your houseā¦she is the guest. She comes over, sounds like she isnāt mean to you, and then spends time with her grandchildren. Are you expected to do everything at her house?
When you go to her house, do you help her do the things that you want her to do at your house? If not, suck it up buttercup!
In my opinionā¦
Let her relaxā¦she raised ypur hubby. I donāt mind serving my MILā¦its what a good hostess does
Your the ones that invite them over and then you expect them to jump in and help ??? Lmao
If you expect a guest to help you cook and clean up Iād suggest you not have any
Isnt that what your supposed to do when you have people over? MiL or not?
Oh fan questionā¦ the answer is in your question. āI would rather not host youāā¦
You are the host, you are the ruler of your own domain. Make the rules, state them and enforce them. In my home, it is catch and kill your own, if you want coffee - you know where the kettle isā¦
If I invite you for dinner, I cook, hubby clears and I provide the coffee. Sounds more like an issue with your partner than with your MIL!
Wow that is not cool!!! My family has always gotten up after dinner to clear the table along with doing the dishes.
I have a DIL like that. No longer invited to dinner. Gets real fāg old, and my son does the same. Done. I grew up in a big Irish New England family and all chipped in getting things to the table and cleaned-up later. I clear my dishes, home or guest, just how I was brought-up.
I wish I could have met my MIL I would get her anything she needed wile at my house or not because she is the mother of my husband. I do it for my mom too and ANY guest in my house. Especially if they decided to come spend there vacation at my home. My sister in law is mentally challenged and I do everything for her. My father in law (recently passed) I did everything for him, when he was in the retirement home I did all of his shopping prepared his meds in his pill containers, then I found him the best nursing home in town with a beautiful ocean view that his Medicare and social security paid forā¦ take care of your elders one day you will be in her position and I hope they treat you as a important personā¦ without her you wouldnāt have your husband sweetieā¦
I think you do not like her. She is an elder guest in your home and should not be expected to do these things. Where are your manners?
Sheās a guest in your home, she isnāt supposed to help with those things.
As a guest, they are not required to come and snoop. Never complain and never explain. You are thusly required to do the same at her house. Unless you want to snoopā¦you have got this. She gave you a great gift, your hubby (on good days) so be gracious.
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In our house my mil is only required to make potato salad she likes to feel shes the only one who can other than that shes a guest
Sheās your mother in law, and also your guest and already old. Thatās only right. I do the same when I visit my son. I just sit down .
ā¦ and your father-in-law? What does he help with?
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I always offer to helpā¦ just my way. If any of my three DILs cook for me itās the least I can doā¦
I never expect any guest to help, maybe lower your expectations?? Playing with her granddaughter is far more important than offering to help with dishesā¦
Yeah thatās kinda how it goes when itās your house. She raised your husband for 18yrs now she gets to relax with her granddaughter while you do that role. 
Put your foot down and tell her youāre not her maid she should offer to help out some mother in lawās are a pain in the ass
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Sheās a guest, why does she need to help do all that stuff ?
Hahahaha I mean she is your guest. And she did birth your husband, father of your child. Itās the least you could do in your house. WTH!
Iād rather she play with my child. Theyāre your dishes etc and she is your guest!?
She is a guest in YOUR houseā¦ Especially being a MILā¦ You caterā¦ Is how I was raised
Iāll trade you.Mine comes and takes over the house!
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In our family, when we visit each other, the host /hostess does everything. Thatās just the way it always been.
Why would you expect her to help?
You have invited her over.
Man and the fact your mad she goes and plays with your daughter after dinner. Iāll tell you one thing be glad your daughter has a good grandma in her life because my son isnt that lucky
That is called having a guest in your home. She isnāt your maid.
In Some cultures you have to politely call your parents to the dinner table.
Wth what do you expect her to do as a guest in your home. Do you treat all your guests that way?
Make some boundariesā¦ I want thisā¦ Itās in the fridge walk awayā¦ Want that or need thisā¦ Itās over thereā¦ Show her I rule the roost
Maybe you could just be a good host and not expect guest to work in your house??
She is a guest in your home. Would you feel any differently if she were not your husbandās mom?
This sounds completely normal. Not sure what the problem is?
Do you ask other guests to cook and clean? Sheās you guest not your servant
People are different. May not be your cup of tea but she is your guestā¦
This is where the āentitledā kids come from
They are guests! Its normal
Tell her itās not a hotel and if she wants to be waited on hand and foot to check into a hotel.
She is your guest and maybe she didnāt want to step on your toes to help you do your dinner.
Sheās a guest and should be treated as such.
Lol are you seriously complaining about a guest not helping pick up?
All Iām seeing is she plays with your kids while you do the dishesā¦
Your telling me thatās a real thing?
When you go to her home who does what?
Sheās not only a guest in your house, but also your mother in law. You SHOULD be waiting on her when sheās in your home.
You sound like a terrible dinner host. She is a guest.
Maybe just me BUT IF SHE IS IN YOUR HOME TO VISIT WHY WOULD SHE SET THE TABLE ECTā¦ sheās a guest even as family if she offers to helpā¦ AWESOME! But if not the last thing you should be doing is coming on here to b*+ch because sheās playing with her grandchildren rather than helping clear a table!!! R U FOR REAL RIGHT NOWā¦ what is your hubbies take on this Iām gonna guess heās with her and would rather she play with kids then clear your table SMDH!! 
grow up and complain about a real issue for the love of Hannah
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Did i read that right when they come over for dinner? So its Your house and u invited them to dinner but donāt want to host this sounds like someone who is looking for a problem where there isnt one smh
Well if shes a guest for dinner than itās not her job to clean or cook. And whatās wrong with waiting to be called to the table for dinner?
Sheās a guest. Not sure why this is a question? You can do the same when you are invited to her home.
YesSo! !!!when you reach old you will how tired you are? And expect your grandchildren and daughters or in laws to do the work
So if she got to your house started taking over you would be ok
Upload grub hub on her phone. The next time she expects a meal., direct her to the app.
Did you invite her or did she invite herself? There is a difference.
Also I grew up where everyone helps each other out and my cousins and I sets the table clears it dries and washes and dishes (one wash the rest dry) whether itās one or two cousins staying for a weekend or a family gathering. Also any adults around they offer and pitched in and helped out with things. I grew up with we all ate so we all do dishes.
Do you expect all your guests to serve and clean up?
I am confused why would u expect this is it cause shes the mil?
She is a guest ? Iām confused by your rant.
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Sheās your guest, would you expect a friend you invited over due what you expect your mother in law to do???