Whenever we have my in-laws over or even my own mother i always did all the cooking clean up clear the table and all dishes while she visited with her son or her grandkids the same when we would go to my in-laws they served us i always offered but my mother in law always said no
Grow up- she is an invited GUEST just because sheâs related does not mean she is invited then expected to help you out! Do you expect ALL of your guests to help you when you invited them over!? When you invite someone regardless of whom it is, the correct etiquette is you serve THEM you do NOT expect them to workđ¤Śââď¸
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Bless your heart 
honey when you invite a guest over in my humble opinion you serve them. A guest isnât always comfortable with serving themselves in others homes, they see it as rude and wait to be invited. Itâs respectful and she is just being polite.
She is the guest. Let her enjoy her grandbabies
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Iâm confused as to what the issue is? Why should she cook andclean in your house? Do you cook and clean at hers? Sheâs a guest do you expect all of your guests to do thesethings?
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Do you make all guests cook and clean? Does she make you do these things at her house. I always host my guestsâŚ
Have 7 seats because that how u would behave if you went for dinner at hers
I mean you clean and cook on your own everyday anyways right why does she have to help you cause sheâs a momma?? Please you mentioned she plays with your daughter while you clean thatâs a huge blessing i wish my MIL world even come to see her grandkids let alone play with them. Sound like youâre husband needs to step to and help or if your so overwhelmed by âhousekeepingâ hire a maid⌠His mom is defiantly not your maid.
Baby, sheâs done her cleaning and taking care of everyone else. Now is her time to relax and enjoy her grandchildren. After all, you invited her to spend time with you and your family. Itâs your house. Your party. Your job and responsibility to clean it up. You are the adult woman of your house. Own. It. If you need help, ask your spouse. Or get off your high horse and ask your mother in law to help you. You can even ask in a positive way. Explain that if everyone helps clear the table, itâs faster and you can all enjoy each others company sooner.
If you invite that means youâre Hosting cooking cleaning !! If you want differently say so - like a Buffett/potluck meal everyone bring something !! That may work better ? Iâd love to have relatives family over but none left ;â( be thankful !!!
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I think maybe the problem the OP has is MIL isnât even offering. As a guest in anyoneâs home most people at least offer to help clean up afterwards. Itâs an appreciative gesture for the invite and meal. But maybe I was raised differently.
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Um I wouldnât expect my mother in law to do anything if I invited her to my house for dinner sheâs a guest 
Grow up, she is a guest!
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Girl be thankful that she donât hate you is not like she live there just enjoy the company of your in-lawsâ¤
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My only issue would be is if she wasnât interacting with her granddaughter. If sheâs coming over all the time, maybe ask her to bring a dish or maybe she can teach you how to cook a family favorite. Otherwise, Iâd just know that if you invite her, how itâs going to be.
𤌠SHE IS GUEST. Thatâs what a host (you/hubby) do when people come over.
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She is a guest, I do not ask my guest to do anything but spend time visiting.
Do any of you at least OFFER to clean up your plate when youâre in someoneâs home? How awful some of you are without basic courtesy.
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If it was your mother would you complain the same
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Could be worse!! She could be like my ex mil and come 2 hours early for dinner insists on helping and cant cook food a starved dog would eat then cause an argument w you and your spouse because you didnât let her help enough!! Be very grateful your lucky enough to have a mil that respects you and that itâs your house and your family and letâs you do whatever you want instead of like mine and expects it to be her house and her way.
Sheâs a guest. Thatâs how it should be. If you want help ask your husband or kids to help.
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Omg, she is your guest, i never let or expect my mother in law to help
Perhaps she was raised with servants that did the work. How are you treated at her house pampered guest or unpaid servent?
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Oh no I would of said something I donât do that to no one I donât care who I are everyone here at home does there part of cleaning and washing my in laws stayed with us for 5 months and my mother in law helped around the house
Thatâs what she is ment to do
She works all her life putting dinner on the table for you guys when you guys are kids . What is wrong doing that for her now. Why are you complaining . Itâs only right to take care of the elder. Learn some manner. If you do not want to deal with MIL donât get marry.
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Be happy she is playing with your daughter. That is priceless.
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Oh wait! You want your mother in law who is a guest in your home to do what exactly? Should she come once a week and do the laundry? My mother in law was not allowed to move a finger she was waited on because she deserved that and more and as a matter of clarification my mother also. I do not expect any one I invite to my home to do anything that is my job.
Tbh i often prefer to be busy cooking and cleaning when people/family are over, it stops me saying something i shouldnt or putting my foot in it 
my parents are great but my grandparents get easily upset over small things, they can sometimes be manipulative in getting information out of us, drives me insane! I suppose itll change when we have their great grandchildren and my parents grandchildren 
What? You are mad that a guest is not coming over and cooking or cleaning? I donât understand. Everything you say she is doing is perfectly normal. My mom comes over and cooks and helps me but she is NOT required to do it. My MILs for damn sure are not expected to do anything either. Itâs MY house.
Stop inviting them. Stand up for yourself. You know what you need to do, just do it. (Presuming this an ongoing frequently occurring problem). Even when my parents visit from out of state they offer/insist on helping in some way. Next time you go to their house, act exactly the same they do at yours.
Wow, this reminded me of a Thanksgiving I invited my Dad and his gf to come. I asked if sheâd like to make the gravy and she did. My Dad blasted me afterwards for asking her to help. Itâs not good manners to ASK your guests to help. If they offer and you would like them to do something THEN you can request their help. I hated disappointing my father.
WaitâŚ
Its your house AND your MIL comes in (since she doesnât live there, then sheâs a guest) BUT you expect her to do your chores? If you donât like cleaning up after having her over (as you would do with any other guest) then how about you go to her house instead?
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Umm thats your mother in law , show her respect âŚAs well shes an elder and a guest at your house .She shouldnât have to lift a finger if you would like help with the household ask your husband ⌠She sounds like a great grandmother as well âŚ
At some point, you stop being a guest.
Thatâs what my elders did, fussed and cooked a nice meal and let u rest, and I would do the same when my elders came to my home, while I cleaned up it was their time with the grandkids. I thought that was normal.
You will be an elder one day too, and I hope your kids fuss over u and let u enjoy your grandkids.
You sound like an ungrateful spoiled brat with no respect for your elders. Be glad you have a MIL who comes to see you and your kids
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I agree with, sheâs your guest. Whereâs your husband , put him to work, itâs his mommy!
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Tell her âin my house everyone wipes there own assâ
She shouldnât have to do anything. Except enjoy your company.
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Seriously!!! So what she has done her share in life and has earned to be able to sit back and enjoy the family she helped create. Whatâs more important dishes or making memories with your daughter.
Enjoy the time you have with her. I am glad you wont be my daughter in law. Personally I would give anything to be able to do anything for my ex mother in law.
So you would be happier if she came over and tried to be center of attention, tried to do everything her way, acted as the queen of the house? Shut the fuck up you sound weird! Be greatful you have a MIL That comes over in peace and doesnât cause drama. You assholes are never satisfied!
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She is a GUEST
Itâs not the guestâs place to do any chores
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If u have invited her for dinner she your guest, not there to clean. If she stays there like overnight ect yep she should help. I wish I had my mum, dad and in-laws to âwait onâ but they gone now and I would love nothing better than to have my childrenâs grandparents in my home spending time with the kids.
Stop inviting her over and I promise this will never happen again 
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If she is a GUEST in your home, treat her as such!
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She is a guest in your home. You should be waiting on her. As with any other guest. Not to mention, she raised your husband. Thatâs respect that she has earned. Maybe change your perspective. Respectfully, I donât think the problem is her. I think itâs how youâre looking at it.
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Itâs YOUR house, she is the guest. Quit being lazy. Is dinner and dishes really that hard? Oh and be happy sheâs there with you guys and spending time with her grandchild.
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Get over it love. Sheâs done her bit well and truly⌠Just be grateful sheâs there and you have a family⌠Bet sheâs done heaps for you⌠Sounds like your just lazy and resentful towards her. Stop being such a Princess
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Would it be the same story if it were your MOTHER? What happened to COURTESIES AND COMMON SENSE? REMEMBER YOU WILL ALSO BE A MOTHER IN-LAW SOME DAY.
I agree with Buffy. Grandma has done her time.
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Sounds like that what she does at home âŚsimple donât have her over or have your mama boy husband say something to her
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How hard is it to pick up a plate?
Is this shit for real? BecauseâŚwow. Grow up & change your perspective. Be thankful that your kids have an actively involved grandparent.
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But i think that is okay for the elders to just sit around doing nothing. Come on. They have sacrifice their young time for caring your mate. Itâs your turn. 
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You invited her, and honestly she raised and took care of your man. Itâs respect for her to set back and relax and play with her grandchildren. I always ask if ai can help (which I often do), but usually my family says no mom we got this. Respect for your elderly should be given, trust me they worked their butts off when they were young.
Maybe this is one place she feels comfortable sitting back and letting others do. As we get older .We all like to have a break every now and then. I wouldnât know. I feel guilty if I donât get involved. Thatâs just me.
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Honestly she is your guest, so yes I would expect to do more if Iâm inviting people over to my home. Family, friend, or anyone else included. You canât expect her to pitch in consistently, and maybe she truly enjoys spending time with her grand child. However, thatâs not to say she shouldnât pitch in a bit, especially if sheâs a slob at your home, you could asking her if she minds taking something into the kitchen for you? Donât be bitchy either, say it with a smile or please or both
And if she isnât willing to contribute, screw it⌠do things to make your life easier like using paper plates, and cutlery you can throw away. If she makes any comment say âwell you know I want to enjoy my visit with everyone too, and not clean the whole time so weâre going what is easyâ. Thereâs nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately though my dear I think when you invite other people over you basically just have to expect that you (and your partner, etc) are going to be doing the lion share the work, and hopefully whenever they invite you over thatâs reciprocated. Try to let the little things go and enjoy time with family.
Sheâs your guest. Youâre supposed to clean up and be a good host. If she lived you with itâd be different.
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Um i dont see the issue?
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Behave yourself, you sound like you have a issue to resolve and picking on things that is not a big deal. If you need help ask for it, because they have some in-laws, that would come in your home and try to rearrange your entire life with their nonsense. Be grateful they even come around to play with the grandkids 
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Sheâs not only your guest, sheâs your mother in law. You should be waiting on her. Millennial generation. Smh
Im sure if she came and start doing things in around your home you would find that a problem tooâŚproblem is you resent her being there .
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Um you are the host she is a guest⌠Sit down your entitlement is showingâŚ
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I guess if she comes over all the time, uninvited and unannounced, it could get annoying. If she is invited, yeah girl suck it up.
Maybe your family was different, everyone pitches in when they are together, so you just naturally expect it from her, could be that isnt how she was raised or acts in her home.
I cook, my Mom will do the dishes and vice versa. Cleaning up after yourself is just polite and called home training in my opinion.
Guest or not she is your elder and your MIL she shouldnât have to lift a finger to help. Set the table put the food on the table tell everyone itâs time to eat everyone fixes their own unless itâs a child when done eating everyone can take their plate to the sink making sure all leftover food has been cleaned off the plates put plate by the sink put up leftover food and then do your dishesâŚthis is ridiculous btw should not even be an issue. Smh!
This younger generation is just a bunch of unappreciative cry babies. In a Hispanic home, this is part of the culture and would be shamed if you even asked or expected an elder to clear the table or wash dishes. They have done their time and you should be happy that that the grandparents would like to play or engage in conversation with the grand children. If the children are older, they are expected to get up, clear the table, do the dishes, and clean the kitchen. If your mother-in-law were to host dinner at her home, she has done the majority of the cooking all day, all the women and especially the younger generation of woman are expected to get up first and do these things and not complain. You donât work then you donât eat. I have taught my children this early in age (they are all in their 20âs) and that is exactly what they do when we are invited to someoneâs house for dinner. I donât know who brought you up and or whether you had customs or traditions shown to you but you sound very immature and ungrateful. If you canât get past your own selfishness, then talk to your husband and ask him to help you with the dishes and clean up. I am sure that wonât be a problem because it does not sound like your husband is Hispanic.
This is NORMAL, you expecting a guest to clean your house is not. Youâre welcome. 
All my daughters are very happy to serve me because it is better to give to mothers because some day they will pass and the still living will have good memories of kindness they gave them when they were living
You invite her⌠! Itâs your house! Let her enjoy her granddaughterâŚsounds like your wanting her to cook and cleanâŚ
grow up please. She a invited guest.
Pffffft, sheâd be out that damn door as quick as she walked in it, Iâm no ones slave and certainly not a slave for a MIL, Iâm glad mine is dead to me.
I mean she is a guest why you want her to help for yea it would be nice but your the host that what you do when people come to visit i thought
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Wow! How times have changed, I would never expect my mother or mil to lift a finger at mine, they already had a lifetime of cooking and cleaning. I would just be ever so grateful they watched the kids while i attend to things.
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Wow!! Sheâs done her time raising her kids, cooking, cleaning and probably having a job all at the same time and now sheâs in your house AS A GUEST who plays with your kid and youâve got a feeling of entitlement, if my son brings home a girl like you he better head straight back out the door
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Shes a guest thats wot you do, and she was spending quality time with her grandchild
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I canât stand my MIL but I wouldnât expect, nor want her to do anything in my house besides put her plate in the sink. If she left her plate on the table tho we would have a issue lol.
I grew up always seeing guests anywhere at least take their dishes to the sink to rinse them. I would probably say something like, âCould you put your plate in the sink for me before you goâ (a) âwhile I (insert a task)â or (b) âso I donât miss anything?â But as for playing with your daughter, thatâs great. And maybe sheâs partly doing it to take some responsibility off your hands while you clean up?
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I would never ask my mother or any other guest to come over and help prepare the food, set the table, and then do the dishes afterwards⌠I feel like thatâs pretty normal. Sheâs a guest.
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Thatâs what a host does. Iâm not sure I see a problem. I cook & clean up when I have guest over. If you had friends come over and you cooked for them, you wouldnât be demanding them in the kitchen to help cook or clean up. If she was coming to your house every day I could see it be annoying. If your hosting a get together, you signed up for cooking & clean up, so suck it up buttercup.
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I would never expect a guest to help prepare dinner or clean upâŚshes a guest and visiting. Let her play with your daughter.
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Act the same way her house and let it go.
Clearly youâve never had guests before. Youâre the rude one.
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Do you typically expect guests to do your housework? Thatâs weird
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I think maybe the question we should be asking is is this everyday? If sheâs there everyday expecting hotel service I would be more likely to get irritated, but if sheâs visiting on occasion (say once a week) then she is a guest visiting her granddaughter and should be treated as such. Be grateful she is there to occupy the child while you cook and clean xx
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Well, she is a guest 
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Dont have her over. Problem solved
I would not dream of expecting guests to clean or prepare dinner but I would not refuse them if they offered
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Iâm kind of confused ⌠she is a guest and youâre mad she acts like a guest? U want ur MILâŚsaid guest to cook ur dinner, set ur table, and do ur dishes? Hmmmm⌠how young are you bc thatâs not what âguestâ means
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After keeping your husband alive during his childhood years, Iâd say she deserves to be waited on when visiting his house!
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When you have guest over isnât that what they are supposed to do? Iâd never ask my mom or mil to help clean up if Iâve invited them over.
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Idk I think itâs a given when you have company too serve them or atleast clean up after them. When im at MIL ill help set the table or help clean up. When my mom comes over I donât let her do anything. She keeps the kids busy while i take care of everything else.
Wow youâre rude, Iâd hate to be a guest in your house lol
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I dont expect anyone yet alone my MIL to do anything if im hosting dinner. If they wanna help fine. If they dont then they dont. If i do need a helping hand i would simply ask them (ex. Bring the cups or plates. Very minimal) but thats just me. I was taught if you host an event. YOU cater to the event.
Unless if she comes over each and everydayâŚthan I would just simply ask her to help at least set the table or bring in some dishes after.
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Thatâs the way at my house with my daughter and when I go to her house, my turn.
I think thereâs a deeper issue with her, or maybe you just simply hate cleaning/ doing dishes but my MIL always brings food, snacks for my babies, new clothes for them, and when she comes over sheâs strictly spending time with my kids even while we are eating. I am appreciative of that and have no problem cleaning an extra dish because sheâs there. This is my home & she is my guest. Sheâs already helping me by keeping my babies happy.
I look at it as time to myself, even if I am cleaning. I also love cleaning & I love having her over, my babies have such a strong bond with her. I wouldnât want them to lose time with her over some dishes everyone thinks differently. Put your view in a new perspective if you donât want this to keep bothering you.
Sheâs a guest in your home??? Keeping the kids occupied would be help enough in my opinion. I donât expect anyone to help me but of course I appreciate when they do help or offer to.
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Shes a guest in your home ?
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Do guests usually set and clear the table??? Iâve never invited anyone over and expected them to do that even family
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Sorry, wouldnât you rather her be spending time with her granddaughter than coming over and helping you with your household chores? Especially if youâve invited her over as a guest for dinner.