Grow up she’s a guest so get over it
Linda Baker is this you?
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Grow up. Your mother in law is a guest in your home, not hired help
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Dont you think it is about time after all thr years she took care of her family I want to thanķ my daughter in law for all she does for me when i am at their place I always have my favorite chair and spot at the table and when i would offer to help she would always say no you just sit there and visit thank you to all of my family daughters and son in laws also i had a favorite son in law who always told me that I was the best mother in law he could have asked for thank you God
If I have any guest in my home, friend or family, even my own mum, I wouldn’t expect them to lift a finger. It’s my house, I invited them, by all means relax and play with your granddaughter. Your husband should be helping you with clear up, it’s his house too. And she’s keeping your child entertained so you can clear up without having to worry about whether they’re getting into mischief. If they offer to help I will say no sit and relax I’ve got it. Don’t invite people over if you don’t want to host
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Its called hospitality, if me guests choose to help with clean up awesome but it’s never expected…its my house not theirs… not their responsibility…
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I just think you’re looking for reasons to bitch about her. Maybe you give off “get out of my way” vibes?
If my MIL was to do this it wouldn’t bother me at all. When nannie is around my kids absolutely take all of her attention. I couldn’t get you how many times when I was working that I came home to my house super clean and all my laundry done and my kids having a blast. So picking up some dishes after dinner is the least I could do. Heck this weekend my husband and I went to her house and leveled her ground for her new pool. She goes above and beyond for us so we do the same for her!
Does she ever baby sit for you and charge you??? That is the least you can do once in a while
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My MIL is amazing, so the few times I do cook for her I hope she just sits back and relaxes 
Typically she is the one cooking for us or bringing us food 
I get being annoyed but in all reality thats how it is supposed to go. Yes maybe she should put her dishes in the sink cause she is family but I would be ecstatic just to have my kids occupied for a moment so I could clean! My mil is very similar, she leave a trail of trash wherever she goes 
but If this is the biggest problem you have with her then your pretty lucky!
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Omgosh…i had to double check to see if my son wrote this!!! 
he finds fault with everything i do or don’t do…
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Shes your guest. Shes not required to do anything… yes it would be nice being a MIL… however if you don’t like it dont invite her over…smh
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Shes a guest at your house… You serve guests… Sorry thats how it works… Would it be nice if she offered sure… But its not required… If you dont like the roll of playing host then make it known you will no longer be hosting dinner at your house… Its real simple… Stop being a twat and understand the roll of a HOST
I call my children for supper everyday. They do not sit at the table and wait for the meal, I’d feel so pressured!
A guest in your home should never have to “lift a finger” to assist in any of your daily chores! If she was not there, you’d still have to cook, clear and clean!
You should feel blessed you have a MIL that enjoys visiting and loves you guys, plays with your child.
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I dont see anything wrong this. I’d rather my MIL play with her grandchild instead of do my dishes.
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That is what a host does. I would appreciate that myself versus her pushing herself into my routine lol
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You should probably not have guests over 
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I believe the whole point of “hosting” a party is that you do all the work while your guests enjoy themselves. If you want help you should make your expectations clear before you invite someone over for whats supposed to be a relaxing meal
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She welcome anytime to entertain my kids while I clean! But seriously have other things happened in the past?
From a little different perspective…I’m not trying to be the “Debbie-downer” from the group of comments but I lost my Mother-in-Law 8 years ago to cancer. I lost my own Momma in 2015…I lost my Daddy in 2013. My Father-in-Law is still living & reasonably healthy! We have a pretty decent relationship with him, however, I can count on 1 hand the number of times he’s been to our home…we’ve lived here for 13 years. I said all that to say this. What’s another plate for the time you’re able to spend with her? And I swear I don’t mean that in a rude manner!! I’m just saying I would love to have my parents or my in-laws over for dinner, even if I knew I was gunna have to prepare everything & clean up after them.
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She’s a guest in your house…
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That’s what a host does 
she’s over there to see the grand kids, not to clean your house.
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Are you seriously right now ?? She is a guest in your home. Of course she isn’t gonna loft a finger. Dear lord you are trippin. I feel bad for your “family”
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She’s a guest 
that’s what you do when you have guests round. Just do it
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My perspective is that you should be grateful to have her! In your post you never mentioned that she is mean just “not helpful enough”. In my opinion that’s pretty selfish, because she is coming over and she is spending time with your child, she isn’t being condescending telling you that you’re not good enough or nit picking at your parenting. She did her job with your husband, she had her time! This is your time your the mom and she is the grandmother. Her only job now is to spoil your baby! You’re so lucky you have that, so many others wish just for a relationship, they’re raising their babies alone, you have help, and extra love, be grateful for what you DO have! What’s a few extra dishes to wash compared to your child not having a grams!? 
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Speaking as a Grandma. Did you ever think she might want to spend the extra time with your daughter? Sorry but if I get to spend time with my kids preparing the dinner and cleaning up or playing with the grandkids my first choice is the grandkids. I love to cook more than anything else but by grandkids come before that. My daughter-in-law knows that. She is great about that. I also was a daughter-in-law and I had the best mother-in-law ever. I wish I had 1 more day with her. She has been gone for 26 years. Sometimes we need to look at each other with more compassion and love and stop the resentment.
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This can’t be a real question or issue?!
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if that’s the worst your MIL does is play with your daughter and doesnt do your housework for you say your pretty lucky…be thankful
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Why do you invite her and then moan shes a guest not your house keeper
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OMG, what I would give for my MIL to do this!!! The grass is NOT greener on the other side!! Mine is the opposite & tends to make me feel like the guest in my own home even though she means well 
I love her to death but I would prefer her to act like a guest & let me continue to run my home & maybe just help here & there but noooo, she even does some of the decorating 
Idk how ya’ll was raised but that’s called being a guest. Not to mention she’s paid her dues raising your husband so it’s his turn to return the favor. If you’re hosting then you’re the host.
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Why don’t you just ask her if she could help you out? It’s really THAT simple x
You know if she was the type to come in and take over you would still be in the same situation. You wouldn’t like that either. You wouldn’t think you could cook good enough to sour her. Just saying.
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Aww, maybe ease up on her, sounds like she’s enjoying the dinner and playing with her granddaughter! Thank God she’s not up your behind every minute.
I mean, it sounds like she’s expecting to be treated like a guest. It would be nice if she offered to help, but she’s a guest nonetheless. How does she handle things when you visit? I’m sure you offer to help, and maybe she accepts, but I’m assuming she expects to be treated the way she treats guests??
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all the work involved in hosting, put more on your Husband since it’s his family. “Honey, could you grab your Mom’s plate, please?”, “Here’s your Mom’s plate, can you take that to her?” Then, he can either do the extra work or speak up. Either way, the work is off you. 
Why wouldn’t you want her to enjoy time with her grandchildren?
I think when you invite someone over to eat and visit it is your job as a “host” to “serve” your guest
At least that is how it works in my house. No matter who the people are
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I always grew up with treating family like guests when they arrived. I don’t even ask my siblings or parents to help out ever when they visit either. But I’m not sure how you grew up, it may have been standard for family to help out while visiting
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We usually meet up with the in-laws at a restaurant, but they do come over sometimes… Father’s Day/ Mother’s day with my family and we make the main dish and everyone brings something to share. She usually asks to help out but I prefer her to play with kids.
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This sounds so much my like MIL my FIL literally waits on her hand & foot. Last summer we had a graduation party for my husband at a baseball game. My FIL spent the entire game running around the stadium buying her food, drinks, souvenirs etc. while she sat there the ENTIRE time talking to people and never moved.
He maybe got to sit for a total of 20min the entire time.
Not to mention he used to work two jobs (just retired from one recently) and she’s never worked for as long as I’ve been with my husband (12.5 years) and he would come home from work and cook, clean, etc. while she’d sit around with her dog or lay in bed talking on the phone.
I finally started putting my foot down with her more recently and she just whines to my husband about me.
It would be different if she lived with you. But if she visits you… I don’t see how you think it’s appropriate to have her cleaning. Ever heard of “serve others with grace and you will receive that kindness in other ways?” Serving her…as your guest will show your daughter how to serve you one day. Let grandma enjoy her grandkids.
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When we have guests I always do everything possible for them and their comfort. After all they are my guests not the other way around! I invited them to my house not to serve me. Sometimes they offer help or just start helping but I’d never ask. Praise God she is there and having time with your little some kids don’t have that luxury.
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ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!?? You sound like a spoiled brat! That woman spent YEARS taking care of your spouse and others. It’s her turn to sit and relax. ESPECIALLY at YOUR house! Even if she offered to help I wouldn’t let her! I’d even give her a glass of wine and make sure she’s comfortable!
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She doesnt need to be called to the table, and she can put her plate in the sink.
Next time, I wouldnt call her to the table, she can see you guys are sitting there. When she is done, just ask her if she could put her plate in the sink while you do something else.
When you are at her house, does she require you to assist in table setting or cleaning? If not then you get what you give
Would you treat your mother in the same manner? Be thankful she gave birth to the man you married. Treat her the way you would treat your mother
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you must not be from the south- you always turn down the help to be a good host. ITS WHAT YOU DO!!!
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That’s just normal…here in our country…they are called GUEST…AND MUST BE TREATED AS A GUEST…be it…inlaws…friends …relatives…they just sit back and relax…we do the cooking…cleaning…dish washing…not a big deal.
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I know ur pain, sadly it’s only going to get worse. No matter how many times me and my man asked both r parents to pitch in it always went in 1 ear and out the other. That is y we no longer invite them over and if they do come over we don’t offer nothing
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Listen Linda I clean now cook dinner, ECT for my mil why because she&her husband,and mine all work so I tend to the house
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I think you’re being dramatic. I would much rather my MIL keep my little occupied so i can cook and set the table in peace. And as for cleaning, im particular about how things are done so i actually hate having help with it. Lol
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How old is she? How is her health? I am only 58 I am in severe pain everyday from arthritis. It’s hard for me to even make cookies. If you knew she would be gone tomorrow would you wait on her today? I don’t have my mom she died of cancer. I think she just wants to spend time with her grandkids. If you ask for her help you might be surprised. Good luck!!!
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Youre being a b##ch… Shes your guest.
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I’d make everyone help and clear their own plate. If she says something just tell her we are working on setting good examples for our daughter.
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When u go to her house, do u do the same to her??? I would!
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Um…this doesn’t sound odd at all…she is a guest and shouldn’t be expected to do any of those things…
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I guess I was raised differently. If i invite someone to my house (or even if they just call and ask if they can come over & i say yes) I don’t expect them to help me do anything. My husband and I will do all the cooking, cleaning and even if they offer help I usually tell them we got it. I’m not sure why an every once in awhile dinner is too much to handle on your own.
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Isn’t that what being a host is about?
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If shes just coming for a meal then no she shouldn’t. Shes your guest.
If shes staying for an extended amount of time, (like several days) well your juggle kids, work, and house hold cleaning, and still expects to be carried to hand and foot, then I can get being upset. I’ve been in that situation with a friend and she never stayed with us again after that.
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Ohhh stfu… for real.
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Do the same when you go to her house .
She should be at least clearing her own plate.
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Shes your guest at your house so yeah you wait on her. But as a guest myself I would clear my plate off of what I didnt eat and put my plate near the sink or dish washer
My guests are expected to pick up their trash, and put their dishes in the sink. 
Sorry but I clean up enough after my child I’m not cleaning up after full grown adults who can be polite enough to take care of their own mess, if not they don’t come back until they can pick up their own mess.
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This might sound rude but at this point I’m so mad it’s not even funny! Your MIL is a GEUST in your house if you invite her you need to be the HOST! Your husband can help you clean up if you feel it’s to much for you but really you are complaining about cleaning ONE extra place setting than your normal routine… REALLY??? IF I am a host I don’t expect my guests to clean because I invited them to have a good time not to clean my house! There is exceptions if they are sleeping over for like more than two nights. You are also complaining about her sitting back and playing with your daughter instead of helping you, theres a name for that, it’s called a GRANDMOTHER! If my guests come over thet are not expected to help with anything but are welcomed with a smile and some good conversation when they do offer to help… Don’t “host” if you don’t understand the meaning of the word!
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Its a priviledge to sit back and let our children cook and clean for us.we are tired from many years of children and their spouses.
Please just remember one day you will be the one sitting back and enjoying this pleasure.And hopefully it will be your daughter in law loving you enough to do this for you.just a bit of advice from a mother in law
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Idk … i never had an issue with that… rather ppl occupy the little ones and stay out my kitchen anyways … also if I’m hosting, I’m the HOSTESS, I do the cooking, cleaning, etc… maybe you’re being a lil dramatic… if its that serious ask her to help
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Shes a guest 
If you invite people for dinner dont expect to clean up too, I’d rather them sit with the children than get under my feet lol
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Who expects any guest to cook and clean the kitchen?
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She sounds like a bitch but a guest none the less. I cant say that even if she wanted to help, I’d let her so realistically it’s just rubbing you wrong compared to being an actual pain in the ass. My advice is to just let it go and over salt her food next time.
Frequency of visits? If you see her a few times every week, then yeah she’s not really a guest. But if it’s once a month or less, she’s a guest.
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I can’t believe this!!!I love having my mother-in-law over and I would NEVER dream of asking her to do anything.shes my guest and it’s my job to serve her!she’s so sweet and helpful and always wants to help but I dont let her.so I cant believe u actually are so bratty😟
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I don’t expect any of my guest to clear the table or do the dishes but if their messing up my house leaving trash everywhere I’d tell them where the damn trash can is lol
She is a guest and therefore should be treated as such. If you don’t want to be a host don’t invite people over.
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She’s a guest. You don’t wait on your guests? I’d never dream of making a guest do dishes.
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She’s probably wore out…
Were you not taught hospitality? Shes a guest!
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Dianne Buys I couldn’t have said it better myself That’s what a host does You are a spoiled brat I’d be ashamed of I was you
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Good! I prefer everyone to stay the F out of my kitchen - they never do the dishes properly and mess up the food anyway!
#sendherhere
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Sounds exactly how I treat guests at my house.
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She’s not a guest she’s family, and should be treated with the up most respect, and should be waited on with honor…
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Talk to yo husband and tell him to converse with his momma. It’s not YOUR issue, it’s his momma, his issue. (Comes from my husband) we had the same problem
Aha I would honestly stop doing things for her. Make the food set the table minus one. And make her get it herself. At the end of dinner I would go ahead and clear everyone’s plate but hers
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I treat all my guests this way when they are in my home. Mother in law or not, in my opinion if she doesn’t live there she is a guest.
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She is a guest in your home, but with that being said, she is also family.
When I have people visit, family or friends I get them what they need, but I also expect them to at least put their dirty dishes either in the sink or on the counter, so I can clean them. I also expect that if they make a mess, to clean up their mess, like put garbage in the pail, or fold up the blankets and sheets, if they were used by said guest.
When I have people over I expect them to do this… I didn’t invite them over to help clean up and cater to me! Even if they ask if they can help, I say no go sit down Aha. Also, let her enjoy and spend the time with your daughter… if you don’t want the mess, don’t have them over… this post is ridiculous
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I swear some of these posts have to be made up
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My dad does this too…is she single?
You sound so dumb. This is literally what being a HOST is! 
This is basic etiquette. If you don’t understand that then you weren’t raised right.
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I would prefer my MIL do this instead of trying to help. When she helps it frustrates me and she actually ended up ruining my counter tops even (she did dishes and instead of putting them into the dishwasher, she had washed them and placed them directly on the counter and soaked my counters and by the time I got home, my counters had bubbled up and were ruined (they are Formica, and there are seams right next to the sink that we have sealed a bazillion times, but water can still get in them some how if you’re not careful). She also puts things where she thinks they should go, instead of actually where they go. She also did our dishes using pinesol instead of soap 
I have OCD to add to it, so all of this caused a huge breakdown because it was all 100% wrong and screwed up and made me physically sick. I would rather do everything myself than have anyone else do it and end up causing more work for me.
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Girl you sound sooooo immature. That’s what she’s supposed to do. 
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She is a guest in your house so she might feel stepping in as being to invasive. The only ways to break the habit is longer and more frequent visits so she is more comfortable
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Waiting on someone hand and foot no but guests do get served as they are a guest. With that being said tho i was also raised to help out who ever i visited. You at a minimum offer to help with whatever is going on cooking, clean ups, whatever if they say sure you help if they say no tou ask if they’re sure if you get a second no you respect what they say but thats just how my family is.
If that’s all u can complain about with ur mother in law then count yourself lucky. She is after all tho a guest in your house. Would u really want her underfoot while u cook messing with the food adding this or that to YOUR food to SUIT HER tastes. I wouldn’t no can’t stand for others to interfere with a meal I cook. …now if she did nothing but complain and criticize every move you made and run her mouth about how she would’ve done things then yes I can see reason for u to bitch about it but to me it sounds like your just pissy for having to do that Lil extra work…I don’t even see how u would compare a meal to being in a hotel anyway. Should’ve said restaurant
It is called being a guest.
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Talk to her about your frustrations. Nothing will change unless you speak up to the person you have an issue with.
Maybe she feels like she doesn’t want to intrude and make you feel uncomfortable or feel like she’s stepping on your toes in your own house.
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First of all you invited her over which means she’s your guest! She is also your elder, show respect. You wait on your mother in-law and be thankful she’s there in your home. What is the matter with you that you expect her to do chores? So very rude! When anyone comes to my home I don’t expect any help with cooking or cleaning. How hard is it to wait on her anyway?! 
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Speak up and let her know that u would appreciate her help with preparing dinner and dishes . She’s not a mind reader and she is your guest . She’s not thinking your expecting her to pick up your chores while she’s there . But if it bothers you then speak up . Unless your trying to find excuses not to have her there at all
Assign everyone a task and tell them if they dont help they dont eat. They r family I have no trouble doing that. Growing up everybody showed up at my moms for a good meal and when weather was nice moved to front porch to relax. I would always clean up since my mom prepared the meal. From the beginning I’d go out and pass out dish towels - no dishwasher- unless u counted my hands!!! Everyone would have to pitch in. I was only 9 or 10 at the time. That’s the way it was done. I always help no matter whose house we r at. Always have always will
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Everyone in the comment needs a hug she’s asking for advice because a mother-in-law’s family not company