Uh…if my OWN mother (which she hasn’t yet) came over to my house I wouldn’t expect her to do anything other than entertain my girl while I am cooking and clean up afterwards. It’s definitely true when I go over to her house. Now things like if she wanted a glass a of water, I would just show her where we keep the glasses and she’s could get it herself in the future.
If it bothers you and it’s what you expect of ALL family members when they visit then have a chat with her about it (maybe with your husband if that would make it easier).
I definitely expected this to say more… like “she demands we feed her grapes by the bunch while we fan her with branches of leaves and massage her feet” not “I dont wanna have a guest be a guest”
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I mean even when I’m in my mother in laws house I make sure to wash her dishes and help any way I can. If she were in my home I would feel obligated to cook and clean up after her as she is older and not expect her to wash my dishes or cook for me. I think you need to be vocal for sure if this is something that upsets you. Maybe she doesn’t want to step on your toes. Just ask for help and I’m sure she will help
I don’t expect my MIL to do anything when she comes over except play with the kids. That is actually helping me out big time. She offers to help in the kitchen but I’d rather them all just stay out of my way Lol
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She should at least ask if she can help!! HOW RUDE
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I would get in trouble for “taking over” …this is what ij should have done …
Gramma should play with her granddaughter while you prepare and plate the meals …she is your guest !@
She is a guest in your home . Did you invite her to do your job as a mother and wife ?
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She is ur MIL do u expect her to do the house chores for u,
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Don’t let her come over🤷🏼♀️
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My mother law does the same thing. But she is a guest in my house. If I invite her over I don’t expect her to help us cook, or clean up. She tries and I tell her not to worry about it and to go sit down and relax because she deserves that working 2 jobs and taking care of her mom at the same time. My fiancé and I are more than fine to clean up after dinner. I love to cook for my in laws and my family. When we go over to her house or to my parents if they cook my fiancé and I will clean up.
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She’s a guest let her play with the kids lmao maybe you just don’t like her and that’s why it bothers you
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If I invite someone over for dinner family or not, you are my guest. If you ask or choose to help, great I appreciate it, but if not no big deal. I would never ask someone that I invited to my house to help with any of that. It’s being hospitable, do you go to your MIL and clean up do dishes and help prepare food? Is it because she asked or because it is just on you to do help? I also agree with some of the other ladies if it’s a huge issue speak up politely, or ask can you help me in the kitchen? Ya never know what kind of response you might get.
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Where the hell did y’all grow up? My mom always taught me at every family meal or any meal as soon as I was of age (a teenager) you were expected to ask/offer to help with the cooking and always always pitch in with the dishes at the end of the meal. All the ladies helped with cooking and the dishes at family meals while the men did whatever. And at family meals nobody got anyones meals except their own kids and mans and nobody took your fucking plate when you were done.
I treat all my guest like this
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F that, I would never wait hand and foot on my now ex mother in law!!
Agreed, let her enjoy relaxing with her grand babies. Does she ever cook for you?? How does that go. My daughter doesn’t likee underfoot in her kitchen bc it is small. She let’s her sister help though hmmm
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Wow, is she supposed to be cooking the dinner for you? Doing the dishes for you? She is a guest ffs
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I wonder why it does not bother you that your father-in-law does the same as her (nothing). It is not a woman’s work. If you are not happy having guests, tell your husband to share the work or have a seat and ask him to do all the work.
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Don’t invite them over! If they invite you over to their house , do the same! They may get the picture!!
I wish I still had my MIL to cook for, I would enjoy doing it for her in return, as when I was her young DIL she invited us to her home every Sunday and she cooked we brought dessert, my SIL and I washed up and it was such a lovely time, our now adult children have such fond memories of those Sundays with thier Nana. Life is too short for nonsense, your MIL is a guest in your home, she did her lufe if cooking and cleaning, now is the time to relax with and enjoy her grands. I love going to visit my D’sIL, and enjoy their cooking, yes I help with the wash up sometimes, if I’m allowed, and yes I spend time with my grands while DIL is cooking so that keeps them out of the kitchen and frees her up. I know and love that I am always welcome in their homes. Grow up and be a descent DIL. You wont ve wasting energy feeling bitter, its such a negative energy.
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I don’t ever expect anyone that doesn’t live in my home to help. It is nice when people offer help but I usually decline it and I certainly don’t get upset if they don’t offer. I dunno, maybe I’m coo coo for Cocoa Puffs, but I believe if you are having people over, regardless of who it is, it’s customary to treat them as a guest
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All I can say is it’s your mother in law, she brought your spouse into this world she does deserve some respect unless she’s Satan incarnate than don’t let her in the house
If she is your mil then she should be the one letting you relax not the other way around !
Stupid c**t
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You can definitely tell, by these comments, the difference in who was raised well, educated on proper manners, and taught the etiquette of hosting guests as opposed to those, it seems, who were raised by wolves.
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I would never expect anyone to come over and help after inviting them over. Just being there and playing with the children shoud be enough i feel 
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I don’t see the problem. If she’s playing with grandchildren and enjoying them I feel as though she’s earned that right as a grandmother and a guest.
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She’s spent her life taking care of her children. 1 being your husband. She waited on him. Now it’s her turn to enjoy the fruits of her labor, being able to enjoy her grandchild. I really think you’re wrong on this.
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If someone is coming to my house, I don’t expect them to lift a finger. You’re my guest, not my maid…
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You said you invite them over ? So she is a guest ? In your house? Showing her hospitality in your home is not her mistreating you. Grow up, read the definition of what being a host is and get over it. She is there to visit and play with her grandchild not work for you.
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Tell her. “If u want to b waited on hand and foot go check check urself into a nursing home”
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Let her son fix her plate!
By the way our guess know they are not a guess after the third invite. They their own plate and clean up behind themselves.
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Do that shit at her house 
Tell her it’s your house she can either help you or don’t come over at all !
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When I invite someone over to my house for dinner I don’t expect them to do a darn thing …it’s called being a host …if you don’t want to be a host than don’t invite her over for dinner …
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Wow i try to help at my kids house but they won’t let me lol
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What the hell is wrong with you? This is how you treat your guests? Mother in law or not she does not have to do anything. You are the host not her how can you expect her to clean or cook or do anything when she come visit. Hell no. This is sooo wrong the way you think
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Um… it’s called respect your elders?? Or is that not a thing anymore for everyone. I mean how often are we talking here…?
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I’m surprised you’re not mad she didn’t help you cook too 
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I don’t see a problem here…she is in your house, if she wasn’t there you would still have to cook , set the table and clean up after…she came over to see her grand child not do your house work.
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If shes a visiting guest it is your job to wait on them hand and foot. If they are overnight or long term guests invite them to help themselves… my aunt told md its called some good ol fashion southern hospitality now I cant sit when I have guests I feel rude or akward so set boundaries with yourself
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If we have my MIL over for dinner as soon as she gets to our house she’s in the kitchen asking if I need help. She has also done the dishes after dinner before. I however never ask her to help she usually insists and won’t stop insisting unless I let her help me. Lol
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So, you have her for dinner and want her to step in and help?
I feel like you’re the host and this is normal behavior, unless I missed something…?
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Next time make hubby buy dinner so ur not so stressed . She’s a guest , how did ur mother not raise u to pay common curtesy to ur guests ?! I do not make any of our parents get their plate or expect them to help with dishes . Siblings I might say help urself but dang there’s a problem for every solution for this person 
Suggest that she either get’s off her ass and helps or you will start charging for your services. If she doesn’t like this option then she can choose what’s behind door number 2, her ass as you close it. I would not have ANYONE expect that of me in my own home. She can just stay away. (wow option 3)
Who raised y’all. Why would you expect an invited guest and more importantly your mother in love, most likely an elder to help.
What? Lol. She’s a guest at your house? She’s spending time with her granddaughter not coming their to help you. If you can’t handle it order take out
I never expect my guests to do anything. Family included.
I may ask for help if they’re around for a while. We are a military family so oftentimes we only see family when they come to visit for weeks at a time. At that point I’ll hope they help. But in all honesty I still won’t expect it.
Definition of both my Mother & ML🤦♀️
Guest or not we all pitch in to help I stopped hosting or cooking your grown figure it out
If you don’t want your guests to be able to relax and enjoy visiting you then you shouldn’t invite them over. It’s your house not hers and I’m sure that if it was her house she would be the one coming and cleaning and not you. The host does the work not the guest.I will host over 30 people for birthdays and sick and not ever will I let them do the clean up or the cooking cause I am the host and that’s my job not the job of those you invite to your home.
I pretend i cant hear half the request i just check out lol
Welcome her in and say, make your self at home.
Where we all get in and help.
Asked her to help with cooking or dishes. She family not a guest
Sorry girl but if that’s all you can find to complain about your MIL cou t your lucky stars lol! Let her enjoy her playtime with the grands! Never know how long they will be around. Time is precious and should be enjoyed! If you dont want so much to do when you host order take out to enjoy your visit. Just quit stressing!. There are so many worse things in life!
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Well I mean, does she come over often? She’s the guest. And is she rude to you? How does she treat you when you’re in her home? So many questions not answered here.
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I’d stop doing all that. Don’t wait on her and don’t call her to the table. Act as if she isn’t there. When she says something say “I’m busy running this household, I don’t have time to wait on adults, please serve yourself.” Better yet, next time she comes for dinner say just that. Your welcome to visit and eat, however, you will need to serve yourself and pick up after yourself. I have enough to do. Leave it at that. If she still doesn’t get the hint then don’t have her over. I disagree that in laws are guests. They may not live there but they are a functional part of the family. They shouldn’t expect to be waited on.
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She is a guest in your home and you invited her for dinner. Her only “job” is to enjoy her time there and spend time making memories with her grand babies. Why can’t you take care of her? Making dinner setting the table you’d do it anyway
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I make and clear all the plates in my house daily for the ones that live here , so I certainly wouldn’t expect a guest in my home to do it. Doesn’t matter if it’s a MIL or not. You are my guest.
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Why would you expect a guest to help?? Do you feel the same if you all have friends over or is it just her? Someone offering help is usually done but for you to expect a guest to help is wrong imo
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You wait on her with gracious hospitality and foster a love and humility toward her as your elder and the mother of your husband. Guests don’t clean and wait on themselves. #manners
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Stop being stuck up. Don’t want to do it all then don’t have and guests at all. That’s your job as the host when you have anyone over, not your guests job.
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Be lucky you have in laws that want to come and visit with your children first off! Second off she is your guest, I’m sure you’re not wiping her butt, bathing her or tucking her into bed! So stop bitching and let her enjoy her time at your house!
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It’s her turn to be waited on; enjoy the Grandkids.
Some people prefer their guests don’t help. I think you have an issue with MIL that has nothing to do with this pettiness.( don’t invite people ,if you don’t want to be a hostess)
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Are you for real lady? She should be an honored guest. You don’t have to wipe her butt when she uses the bathroom but you can surely bring her something to drink and fix her a meal.
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She as a mother has done all of those duties most her life. While yes it would be nice to get help it’s not required when you’ve invited them over as guests. You should be thankful she comes over and treats your kids like Grandchildren. My MIL hasn’t seen my children in about 5 years. She chooses to not speak with us because my husband won’t drop everything to put her above me and his children.
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She spent your husbands entire childhood & teen years probably taking care of him and cleaning up, etc after him. the least you could do it let her relax and enjoy her grandkids while she is there. When I have guests over they are exactly that, a guest. I dont expect them to cook or clean, etc.
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When im invited over, Im pretty much served hand and foot (but, not all the time). Its the same when i have people over. I want them to relax and enjoy themselves. If they want to help clean up, i’m fine with that, and if they don’t, i’m fine with that too. When I go to my daughter’s house, I play with my grans while they make me a plate and what not. See, when I invite people over, it’s to relax and visit. They may have had a long day with their kids or work. And by having them over gives them time to relax and enjoy😁
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Sometimes mother in laws, especially, dont want to over step their boundaries in your home.
Guests shouldn’t be expected to help , but Definitely should offer to help! - at least how I was raised.!
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When my In laws come over, I don’t expect them to do anything! They do however offer to help. When I go to their house I also offer and start to doing clean up as well. It is a respect thing and that’s how I was raised.
If she lived there, I could see an issue. But, in our home we cater to our guests. Especially parents. And when I’m at their home. I assist with everything! Cooking and cleaning. My parents tended to my every need growing up, as did his parents tend to him. And I will forever treat them as a guest in my home. I hope my children will one day do the same.
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That is my husband’s mother to whom I will give the same respect and courtesy that I would give my own mother. My mother and my husband’s mother have both passed. I would give anything to have them back for one more meal! When they came to dinner, my husband would help me with serving and clean- up.
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I wait on my mil at my house and at hers. I clean up after dinner when I go to her house and I do not expect her to at my house. I would rather watch her spend time with my children.
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If i had the chance to do those things for my mother in law i would in a heart beat, but she isn’t here and my kids and i were never able to meet her 
but i do cater to any guests that i have over like my mother and stepdad…grandma etc…i dont give them an opportunity to clean up after themselves…i make the food (sometimes even serve them), i take their plates, i do the dishes, i clean the table etc. Not only that but, isn’t her playing with your daughter a good thing!?
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I would never invite someone over for dinner and expect them to do anything. If they volunteered I would tell them it’s not necessary unless they really want to. I would much rather my company enjoy my children and be able to relax. How can anyone complain their mil is paying attention to their grandbabies instead of helping you?! She is building memories with them and you’re fussing about a few extra dishes. Feel blessed you have a mil that wants to be with your babies. Some people dont have that. My opinion is that you’re being petty. Enjoy her company instead of nitpicking over things that amount to absolutely nothing. You sound blessed; enjoy it!!!
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I don’t expect my guests to do much but when you have a huge family it is only fair that some pitch in. Plus it makes them feel helpful and dignified !
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Do the same when you go to her home. I personally don’t let my mom-in-law do anything other than relax, enjoy some time with your son and granddaughter. Just a respect for elders!
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That was how it was in the years before the 90s. This is how I still treat my guest, I don’t allow them to even get a soda , I do it for them even if that are not my in-laws. There use to be manners, they included how to invite, how to serve and how to show appreciation, they don’t teach it anymore.
Instead we have taken things for granted like invite people out to dinner and sit and talk on the phone, or take pics of our food.
Be grateful that think enough of you to even show up
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I go and visit my daughter in law. I do help out but that’s because I like to not because I’ve been asked. I wouldn’t expect her to help when she comes to mine but she does sometimes.
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Here’s an idea. You host the dinner it’s your house. Idk but old school way is she is a guest so wait on her. Let her spend time with her grandchild. If you need help just ask. She probably says it’s so nice not having to do anything at my son’s house. My Dil is such a gracious host. Maybe bc I’m finally to an age where this little kind of thing doesn’t bother me. Idk🤷
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She earned the right…remember, she waited hand and foot on your hubby for how many years? Plus she plays with the kids…sounds normal to me.
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Your MIL deserves to sit back and be served with honor. Think about it… you wouldn’t expect any other guest to help you… she raised your partner and served them their whole life… do it and be happy she raised the person you love.
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My advice is, when your MIL wants to see you, instead of having her over at your house & you doing all the work for her, meet her at the restaurant & let other people do the work for all of you. You can all relax & nobody feels like a server. Also, your house stays clean & untouched. For me, spending $ at the restaurant is more important than cleaning my house by myself after guests.
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She doesnt have to help. But you can ask for her to give you a hand with clearing the table. While clearing explain that she is always welcome. And thank her for helping…since youve had a long day and her helping has been great. Thank her and get ur daughter involved. No matter what age if she can walk she can help. Children love accomplishing chores. If dessert is available. Enjoy. Betcha next time she might volunteer. Let your MIL know how great that she has a wonderful relation with ur daughter. Ur husband will be happy. Good luck.
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She is a guest not a servant. She is playing with her grand daughter. Even when i go to my mother in laws house i make dinner and do dishes. Sometimes i will clean her bathroom it’s called family
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She’s enjoying her grandchild. Nurture that relationship. I don’t expect guests to cook or clean
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I was raised to be “the hostess” whenever we have company. It is an honor for me to make them comfortable, give them great food, and allow them to relax after years of serving their own children. It also gives them time to play with the grandchildren and visit with them.
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I always treat my mother in law to a relaxing time when she’s over! She has put in her time raising kids and taking care of people! She deserves to be taken care of
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That does not sound like she’s expecting to be waited on hand and foot it sounds like she’s coming over for dinner and to see her grand babies. She shouldn’t have to lift a finger.
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While reading just one more entitled whiner I was wondering how many people expect their mother or mil to come home to help clean. I’m glad not everyone feels that way. I never expect any guess to clean while at my house I would feel a little offended if they insist. A grandmother coming to visit grandchildren should be doing exactly that playing with grandkids. Shes not your maid so no shes not there to clean.
I always offer to help if I’m visiting , but never accept the help if im in my house.
If she was there living more than 3 months then I would say ok she could help sometimes.
I don’t ever expect guests to help with cooking, cleaning, or dishes. But, that is just me. When my in-laws come over, or my parents, for that matter, I do wait on them hand and foot, but I don’t mind. They play with their grandchildren which is great to see. If it is really bothering you, I would encourage you to discuss with your husband, but honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with your MIL’s behavior. Good luck.
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Crazy, I don’t let my guest clean up. It’s one dish two max I don’t see the issue. If you don’t like waiting on her tell your husband it’s his job but you kinda just sound petty and mean to be honest.
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I think it’s great she takes time with her grand daughter. My daughter lets me choose. But sometimes she’ll say please let my children do their assigned jobs. I know that she wants me to be able to take time with my grandkids so they will know me and have a relationship with them. Of course when she is pregnant or has newborns or isn’t feeling well I am so happy to pitch in and everything if necessary. By the way my, my daughter I am speaking about has nine children and I am happy to say that we both love every minute we have together. And she doesn’t treat me like a child. If she wants help she just kindly asks!
She is a guest its ok if she want to help but if she’s a guest it should not be expected
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I dont expect anyone to clean up when we have a get together. They offer and I say no because I made a choice to host. The MIL might think that occupying her granddaughter while she preps food and cleans up is her way of helping (I would).
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She’s watching and playing with your daughter … the greatest gift she could give your child is her time. Cooking and dishes are not her responsibility, count your blessings! 
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If I had a mother or mother in law I wouldn’t expect them to do anything. I would think they were coming over to play with the kids. When I go to my daughters house I don’t help really I play with my grandchildren!
In my house I prefer to do it myself… I dont want guests in the kitchen doing things. I like things done my way and its easier/faster to do it myself. If a guest brings a dish from the table to the kitchen I am grateful but then just ask them to put it on the counter and I will deal with it later. I want them to sit and relax and enjoy themselves.
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Umm that’s what happens when you host people in your home. I don’t expect my guests to lift a finger in my house. If I need help I ask for it like a normal person.
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Is this a joke? If someone doesn’t live with you, related or not, they’re a guest in your home and should be treated as such.
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WOW!! I love having my in laws over and catering to them 
. But my mother in law