My MIL came to visit whilst I was in hospital having my first baby. When I got home from hospital, the first thing I did was the dishes. My hubby had been working and not at home… My MIL and BIL had cooked but not washed any dishes and my house was a mess. I was standing at the kitchen sink crying. When my in laws came to stay, they expected to be waited on hand and foot. Even though I had just had a baby. And every visit after that was the same. Visiting and staying they should help out, but for an occasional visit they shouldn’t have to. But if they are over for tea and you have a newborn, or have just had an operation recently ect, then that’s different. But that’s when you order pizza…
She’s a guest in your house. You are the gracious host Right?
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I couldn’t imagine telling my moms to wash their own dishes in my house. “What are you doing go get your (grand)kids!”
If invited over age a guess you treat her that way if just shows up then she should help
I was raised to offer to help. However, maybe she feels like it is “her time” to finally just be the “guest”. Especially if she was always the host when her kids were young, she may feel as though she “earned” this? After putting her time in.
You are being too hard on her
.you are the host …she is the guest family member or not …let her enjoy herself
I guess it comes down to whether she considers herself a guest or considers herself family or considers herself both. At this point it sounds like she considers herself a guest, not family. More of an outsider. That’s sad. But perhaps she actually is waiting to be asked. Not knowing her nor you I can’t really say. But I wonder if perhaps it would help if you just asked her to do a specific task. Is she a good cook? Ask her to help prepare the gravy. Does she set a lovely table? Ask her to help design the table settings. Perhaps she’s one of those people who is waiting to be asked. Maybe she feels like a bit of an outsider, as she is the in-law, and doesn’t jump in to help because she doesn’t want to step on your toes. When you visit her home how do you handle it? Do you just jump in and do what you think needs doing? Do you ask how she’d like you to help? In law dynamics are tricky. Maybe she’s waiting to be asked out of an abundance of politeness. Being included in the preparation and clean up of a gathering is a sign of intimacy. If she feels like an outsider, for whatever reason, it is unlikely she will offer to help. However, if you ask her to do a small, pleasant task to help, that will demonstrate that you have a desire for her to be more involved and increase the intimacy in your relationship. That could be a really good thing for your family as it will bring you a closer. However, you have to remember that when you accept someone’s help, you also must except that they will do it their own way. If having things done exactly the way you want them done is your standard desire, you might need to rethink that a bit.
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Leave it there for her to clean up. Nobody is making you do it
Hmm…GUESS IT DEPENDS ON HOW A PERSON IS RAISED…HOW ARE WE TREATED WHEN WE VISIT?
I would not allow any guests in my home to cook or clean up. They’re guests
I never expect a guest to have to life a finger when I have them over. Sounds like you just don’t like your MIL and you should probably get over yourself
You shouldn’t expect her to do anything especially if shes a guest in YOUR house.
I would rather my mil to stay out of my kitchen while I’m cooking or cleaning. Let her entertain my kids.
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What’s important is she’s playing with your kid.
Enjoy the time’s with her while you still can … Some don’t have that choice Anymore
I would never ask my Male or mother to help when visiting you are the host why complain about it
Wtf? She’s your guest. Lol. I’m the first one to put in laws/grandparents in their place but you’re definitely being ridiculous here. If you don’t like how she is a guest in your home, stop inviting her over. Or, idk, be an adult & ask for help? Then she can choose to help or not come. This is so silly. Over serving dinner & doing dishes in your own home. 
Guest regardless of who they are, are to be treated like “Guest” I’m a grandma & I was raised to never expect to be treated like Guest, to Always offer to help or better yet, get up and help without asking. When I have Guest, I want to do all of the work and cater to my Guest!
When I’m at my daughters home Or her inlaws home as a Guest, I automatically start helping out, with food & setting up & cleaning. I also bring the host a Gift.
Sometimes my daughters or their inlaws very kindly tell me to sit down, Iam their Guest and I honor their wishes 
to each their own.
I kindly suggest to Love & Honor your mom inlaw, Let her be. Kindness & Love matters more
At least shes playing and amusing ur child. Whilst u look after ur guests… sorry that I don’t agree with u
She is your guest.
If you would prefer to help give her something to do with your daughter.
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Try living with a mother in law that does absolutely nothing not even pay attention to her grandchildren she sleeps in a chair in the living room all day only gets up to eat and go to the bathroom she is in better health than I am
I wouldn’t want any guests to do anything but I would want them to offer at least!
If you need help, then let her know or have your husband say something.
She is a guest. You should never expect guests to clean.
She’s is a guest in your home. Why would you expect her to help clean anything???
I do not let any of my guests help. A guest is a guest. It’s nice if they offer, but I always say no.
Where is your husband’s voice in this matter?? He is the one who needs to stand up for his wife! That is ridiculous!!
You have to hand her some plates and say " These go right in the sink, and can you bring out the coffee pot."
I mean, I wouldn’t have my bfs mom in my kitchen. They are guests…they aren’t supposed to lift a finger lol
My mother is 80 when she comes to our house she always offers, but i telk her to sit and relax
Okay you don’t blurt it out like that and be rude but this is what I would say I would say something like hey Mom you want to come hang out with us in the kitchen do some Girl talk male bashing whatever tickles your fancy we can chat something that’s going to entice her to want to help and only her daughter-in-law would know how to do that
It’s different if they are not a guest but also li e there.
I don’t see nothing wrong ,she’s a guest. You wanted her to come at your home and do your work for you?
Um, first of all…No. I’d straight up tell hubby to talk to MIL or you will. I have never experienced people expecting to be waited on, that’s ridiculous.
She was invited to dinner so she should not have to cook or clean since she is a guest
When you go to her house for dinner does she cook for you? If she does then you have no reason to complain
Try explaining that your home is her home when she is there and if she wants anything then to help herself x
Real question is. How is she in general with you if this is the only think that bothers you if so your picking on pety things. Let her enjoy your daughter while you put the dishes in the dishwasher and so forth. It’s your house shes your guest.
I am old school. She is an honored Guest and should not be expected to do chores.
Honestly, I hope my children wait on me hand and foot when I get older, and visit their homes. U should be proud of urself. Ijs!!
She said mil plays with her daughter so that means she has a young child. I do not blame her. I got a young child myself. It’s too much to take care of a child and a lazy adult.
I had the best MIL in the whole world … she never once came to dinner & lifted a finger I would have told her no I’ll get that … bc guest in my house are not expected to work …THE GUESTS SHOULD RELAX & ENJOY
She’s a guest, she should be served a
meal without being expected to prep it or clean up afterwards.
Your guests are exactly that, guests. Do you have your friends over for dinner and have them cook?
Treat her as you would any other guest in your home.
Your husband needs to have a talk with her.
Possibly…
She does not want to step on your toes. My mom comes over and does everything while I tell her to stop. If I’m not careful, she’d grab the mower and do the yard lol And she is 75!
My MIL was the same. She wanted to be in the middle helping and laughing. We had to force her to sit down. Even when she was sick, she tried.
I’d give my left arm to have her back so I could make her sit down and wait on her.
I would never ask my mother in law to help with a thing when she’s in my house. Maybe that’s just me? 
If I invited my MIL for dinner I would not expect her to do anything but visit with me and grandkids.
I am confused on what the problem is. If you invite someone to your home to visit and/or eat, why are they expected to help you with things like setting the table and cleaning their dishes?
Idk how to tell you this but when you invite people over for dinner you’re supposed to let them relax.
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She is considered company so why shouldn’t you serve her?
I feel like there’s something deeper going on here
Don’t fix dinner. Put sandwich making and chips on table. Tell you have had s busy day! Be polite. Some mil are pain in the neck!
My nan was waited on every Sunday and she should have been too x
My MIL would get the same treatment in my home I give everyone else. You want something - get your ass up and get it. I’m prepping dinner, come help. You’re family and not a guest. Don’t expect guest treatment when you’re family.
Lighten up! She did this for your husband for years. One more plate, one more fork, one more glass. Stop being lazy
You acted like she asks you to make her a drink and refill it and her plate and everything over and over. Calling her to the table isn’t waiting on her…
I dont expect guests in my home to do anything. If she wants to sit back and relax and spend time with her grandkids so what?
What does she expect from you when you are at her house? I Have an Aunt that is exactly like your MIL, however when you are at her house, she treats you like you are the guest and waits on you hand and foot.
Invite her to help: how do you make such 'n such?, you make this(?) better than me show me YOU do it… while I wash the dishes come tell me about how your family came to/from …(homeland).
May be she only needs to be invited?
I did that for years , she played with the kids for us
It was hard , especially 3 meals a day like that but we got used to it . It was just a few days at a time
As kids got older we asked for babysitting while we got away for dates !! It was great
She can cook , clean
Just needed a break too ?
Shes a guest…unless its a long term visit, she sits and plays with grandkids…
Your daughter is her granddaughter and her wanting to ay with her is probably the reason she came in the first place.
Have you tried inviting her to help you in the kitchen? Maybe she is trying to respect you in your own space and does not want to step on your toes. Talk to her and not FB?
Do you expect everyone that comes to dinner at your house to pitch in?
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Throw her in the yard and hose her down.
Your child will not remember the meal, but that she got to play with grandma. Don’t make it about you!
She is a guest and she spends time playing with your child.
You’ll probably complain if she started washing dishes and cooking in your kitchen cause it is “your kitchen” lol sounds like a “you” problem
Umm… that’s what you do when you host family. You don’t expect them to do a damn thing around your house. If she’s playing with your daughter she’s already doing you a favor by keeping kiddo busy so you can clean up the dinner you hosted in your home. She’s there visiting, she is a guest.
As a gma an ggma …i love when i visit my kids out of town .they dont expect me to do anything…they treat me good
It’s called respect…she raised your hubby and now it’s her turn to have time with the grandkids…
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What? Is she supposed to cook your dinner and clean your dishes? 
She’s a guest in your house, she is not required to take care of you. This is silly.
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She is your guest. Your husband’s mother. Show her that respect. She earned it.
I would wait on her like a queen.she is my husband’s mother
Divorce your husband then his mother will not come to your house again if it is bothered you with her presence. You are not a good daughter in law and loving wife either.
Ask her to help. If she says no and you really have a problem with it, dont ask her over.
She felt the same way raising your husband. Lol
Sounds like my MIL I had her over once for Christmas my husband had to work the next day he finally had to tell her he was going to bed…she stayed another 2 hours. Never invited her again problem solved.
I always helped my mother in law and would expect the same thing in return!
I see it as shes a guest and time to play with her granchild If offers that’s nice but if you invite her over you cant expect her to do it. And her playing with your daughter gives you break from doing it.
I’m sorry I would invite her in the kitchen to help out put the dishes in her hand and instructor what you want done. That’s me
Awe, you should let her. I mean she is your MIL and she is playing with your daughter while you take care of other things.
Mothers in law are family if they are there for one meal one several. Family help.
She might think that playing with your daughter is assisting you.
She is a guest in your home you should wait on her
Well you could have one that shows up and takes over completely not sure which is worse?
Let her play with kids ! Or ask her to bring a dish??
Their at your house as guests, and grandma, my does she have to help?
Sounds like your lazy as Hell expecting a guest to help with your dinner party…do you cook and clean at her house 
I waited on mine…didn’t want her in my kitchen
What a treat for her! It seems like she’s blessed by your hospitality and enjoys the time with her granddaughter. (I’d prefer my mom to play with the kids than fuss in the kitchen when she visits.) Pray and ask the Lord to continue to give you the grace to serve her and honor her well.
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Get over it…let her be a grandma. She might not do things the way you want anyway.
You need to check your manners or lack of them! You are rude! She is a guest in your house. She’s your elder! She’s playing with her grandchild. Get over yourself. Should she offer to help, your answer should be, no, please, go play with your grandchild. Grow up!
just look at her and say would you like to spend some time with the grown women in the house cleaning cooking and waiting on the man in children
Lol. I only wished mine would have done this. To me it would have been a show of respect from her. Trust me, you don’t want her all in there critizing you and trying to do it her way. It actually shows she has respect for you.
She is a guest in your house. Stop being rude. She birthed and raised your significant other. You should cherish her.
Edited to change husband to significant other. I should not assume genders.
She is a guest in your home…if you go to her house does she not do everything there?
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Sounds like you don’t like or resent your MIL about something else entirely. What’s really going on ?
How much extra work is it to cook for one more person? How much extra work is it to pick up one plate, utensils, and glass…then to clean them?? Hmmm…