I have the same situation, would like to chat with you if you would like you can PM me
Youāre getting all bent out of shape as if this is all about you, your feelings, you getting offended, etc a bare mention about your son. This was not about you. You over-reacted and made it worse. Youāre still over-reacting making it difficult for your hubby & your kids. I recommend you make a series of appointments with a therapist & deal with your narcissistic tendencies before you get worse. You made yourself feel like a 3rd wheel due to YOUR choices. Not theirs. And once you calm down after reading this comment, really look at what you wrote as if someone else had written it. Not sure what triggered your ego to make a mountain out of an anthill, but if you donāt seek help, you could turn into a full blown narcissist, which could/might/definitely cost you your marriage & your relationships with your kids.
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Would you be this upset if your own mother did the same? Get over it!
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Forgive.include she did not murder anyone
Get overr it i c nothing that will make u sware u wont come back
Maybe names of people places and things donāt stick in her mindā¦As long as the Love is there it should be enoughā¦
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There are people who have Real problemsā¦ This isnāt a problem to anyone but your ego.
This is overreacting. Seems like there is underlying conflict of some sort. My grandmother forgets my birthday all the time and Iām regularly in her life. How can you expect someone to remember every detail about your children?
Wow. This is stupid. Do you work?
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Life is too short!! Let it go!!
Hunny , the mother of my sons father couldnt even tell u what my sons name is how old he is or etc ā¦ N u upset about a middle name 
yes this is about u and ur feelings ā¦ Ima need u to get mental help bc Ima need u to do way better ā¦THIS IS BEYOND PETTY, n seriously not even tht big of a issue
Iām a mother of 4 and i hardly remember their birthdays or middle namesā¦ who cares?
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You can be a bit miffed, but you are totally overreacting. You may have two kids, but itās fairly obvious your husband has three! Get over yourself!
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You should try to have an adult conversation about it with the mother in law Maybe you can salvage the relationship you used to have with her. I understand where ur coming from with the frustration and feeling hurt but I donāt think she would do this intentionally. They are her grandchildren and she loves them all. Just try to tell her how you feel and move forward. There are far worse things mother in laws do to daughter in laws. But you canāt fix the problem if you donāt have a civilized conversation about it.
Heck my parents at times got names wrong! We would laugh about it! Dont get so mad about it. Not worth the stress. Be funny next time go visit with name tags and bdays on shirts!
You sound like a brat to meā¦ā¦ā¦
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I can understand in that Iām having early set dementia. I havenāt been tested yet but itās very real and scary too. Iām 59. Iāve noticed several times over the last few years that I canāt remember certain peopleās names or states they are living in. Ages , things from the past I should remember. Iām going to be tested for it in a few weeks. Itās very hard on me and Iām ashamed to admit it. Iām scared. I need to have a heart and double lung transplant . It was congenital from birth. So Iām wondering if lack of oxygen to the brain is causing it. Sometimes we love a person with all our hearts and forget certain things. She may have not said anything to anyone else but she is scared to death that it may be true.
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She is older and forgetful You should visit her more.Grandmaās love grandbabies.
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I mean, i have three kids and i honestly forget who goes with what birthday sometimes you should hear me scheduling a doctorās appointment 
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Sheās an older lady who probably has problems remembering every day things on top of other stuff. Why hold that against her? There are more important things to worry about. I donāt see the anger in this one! Sorry.
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This is silly, your going to feel very foolish if this memory loss is a precursor to something more serious
You need professional helpš
Whatās the real issue here? Itās not about birthdays or middle names. Thereās something else bothering you, but you for whatever reason donāt want to talk about it. Everyone forgets something at some point. We are human. You need to be truly honest and say what is seriously bothering you because it isnāt forgetting about a birthday or middle name. I also think you are somewhat jealous of your brother in lawās family. Anyway, good luck with the temper tantrums.
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I donāt know all my grands birthdays without checking my calender. I can tell you the month. Love them all.
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Shitā¦ I have 4 kids of my own and go through all of them to get to the one I want . My mother argued with me for a week telling me my birthday was Jan 7ā¦ Itās been Jan 6 for 36 years yesā¦ you are wrong, yes you are crazy!! She mixed up names and forgot birthdays. She didnāt by Christmas presents for 1 kid and not the others. Get over it
I have one child and have more than once blanked when trying to recall his birthday.
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Iām close to my Dad but he always gets my birthday wrong by a day and my step mom corrects him lol. I think your overreacting
Youāre really mad over someone forgetting? Have you not forgot something?
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All I read was the beginning and im shocked.
This comes with age. My dad used to call me my dogs name, my brothers names and then the grandkids and then my name lol
It happens in a big family and it happens with age.
Maybe be a little more understanding about thisā¦ this could be a very difficult time for your mother in lawā¦ be there for her.
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Stop āæbeing so childish!!! Grow up. I found the short 90 minute drive hilarious!!! Stop making this all about you and allow this man to be close to his family
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My own mother forgets my kids birthdays. Like really who cares. It doesnāt mean she loves them less
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I know my 5 daughters middle names and birthdays. But as far as my 6 grandkids, no. I can remember most middle names but bad about birthdays
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I only see 2 of my grandkids. I see them regularly, they stay over at weekends . One is 6 the other 2ā¦yes I call them the wrong names and forget their birthday. 
. Doesnt mean I dont love them to bits. My DIL reminds me of birthdays so they donāt miss out and they just roll their eyes and laugh when I mix up names
Personally think youāre being a bit harsh tbh. Youāll get old yourself one of these days and none of us can claim to be perfect .
Sort out the problems you canā¦accept the ones you cant. Family is important 
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With the greatest respectā¦get over yourself. Youāre behaving more childishly than your own children. Maybe your MIL just has a poor memory!!
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Your not right for acting in a foolish matter
Do you really act like this as the mom? This sounds like how a teenager would respond. I wouldnāt give a damn about remembering my childās middle name. I barely remember his first name
Listen, yall need to check yourself.
My in laws have 3 grandkids. They disowned all 3 because of hair texture. Be glad your kids got ppl that love them. You dont have no right to be petty. Yall be creating these tensions in family life then post abt how horrible they are. Stop behaving like a 3 yr old. Seriously grow up. Stay in bed till you grow up. Some of yall just donāt like your in laws so every chance to make an issue yall grab at it. Yallreally dont understand what itās like for your kids to just have a mom and a dad . No aunts no uncles no family friends no grandparents no extras.
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I think the other grandkids from your BIL are front and center because she deals with them every day and, thereās possibly resentment that you guys are so far away so sheās lashing out, but it doesnāt mean she doesnāt love you guys or love your children. Just roll with it and every time she forgets their middle name just remind her! Be like, I know you can do this grandma and his name is XYZ!! Donāt forget it, haha 
approach in a gentle joking way. When itās your kids birthday, call her and tell her āitās your favorite grandchildās birthday today, XYZā āget on the phone with him grandma to wish him a happy birthday!ā Oh girl, you just gotta change this whole situation around!!!
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Iām not being ugly but if that the only issues you have with your in-laws your doing great! My own mother donāt remember my kids birthdays, I have 4 thatās including my bonus baby and my brother has 2 kiddos. My mil has 8 and counting she doesnāt remember anything, and I myself get my kids names and birthdays mixed up ALL the time
My mil and his five sisters dont know our kids bdays or how to spell our daughters name correctly lol at some point you just make peace with it because getting mad over it every time it happens takes too much energy for nothing to end up changing.
It is annoying, your feelings are vaild. It makes you feel like your kids are less than, or not as important as the others - and thats a terrible feeling to feel. Hang in there mama and ignore all these rude ass comments telling you to get over yourself.
I have to look at their birth announcements to remember the years they were born and figure out how old they are! We have 3. I donāt think Iāve ever forgotten their middle names. But I probably have.
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All of this over forgetting a name and birthdays?!?! First off, if forgetting that was the only thing on my gripe list about family members in our family Iād be the luckiest mom in the world. Secondly, my own dad is the worlds worst with names and birthdays, he doesnāt have dementia or Alzheimerās heās just getting older (63 years old) so I make it a point to gently remind him the week before and then the day before each birthday of every grandkid and myself and my sister. If your MIL has a big family it may just be a lot on her to remember everything. Iām 31 and canāt remember crap as good as I used to. Please be kind to her and cut her some slack before it takes a toll on your marriage. One thing Iāve learned is no matter how many ācrappyā things your manās family does, theyāre still his family, you keep your opinions to yourself (for the most part) or risk it affecting your relationship.
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Kelly, Wow this really hit home, especially since all the children involved for me are yours, I love the boys, but know I always got it wrong, still do. I am getting better with the girls (I hope) The bottom line is, like you said, I love them all dearly and would NEVER do anything to make them feel less than love.
Get a life!! Your husband, the man you claim to love? Thatās his mother! Apologize for your behavior -and be the bigger person.
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My own dad doesnāt even remember our birthdays 
also my middle child name is Jaxon and the entire family spells it Jackson. I just remind people and move on. A lot of times things like that arenāt done on purpose.
Does she own a cell phone?? If she does than you go to the calendar put their birthday and full name in it problem solved.
I have 5 children and got their names mixed up all the time, now I sometimes call my grandchildren by their parents names. They all think itās funny. GET OVER YOURSELF.
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Maybe sheās got the beginning stages of dementia??? Might need to get her checked out
My dad forgot my name 
he had Alzheimerās
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My dad sent me a birthday gift in April my sisterās birthday my birthday is in May he
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My Mom who has one child (me) forgets my youngest two middle name all the time,I have 4 kids,she remembers Birthdays.Some people are not good at Birthdaysā¦heck my one daughter doesnāt remember me and her Dadās exact Birthday and she lives with us, sheās 11, she knows the month but canāt remember the day.She remembers her siblings thoughā:woman_shrugging:t6:
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I mess up my own kids names sometimes. I just keep going down the list until I say the right one. I do not know all my grandkids middle names unless I sit down and think about it, much less their birthdays. I keep a calendar with things like that written down. The older I get, the more difficulty I have remembering each and every middle name and birthday. Itās family and love is what matters not a name or a number. Grow up and be thankful for your family.
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How bout you talk to her about it woman to woman?? Tell her it makes you feel a certain way. Then youāll know for sure how she feels too.
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Ummm so can I say that I forget MY OWN middle name all the time and wanna drop it because Iām dyslexic and literally miss spelled it on my own marriage license 
figured Iād drop that in as a little info on forgetting names! Do you keep in contact? Call? Try to connect? Maybe thatās whatās missing?
I have 5 grandkids. I consistently forget the youngest oneās middle name, because we never use that name. I only remember the older kidās birthdates because they are close together. 10/13, 11/18, 12/18 (also my momās BD), and 1/20. The youngest showed up in July. Maybe the 22nd or maybe the 29th? I honestly donāt remember. I see the kids weekly as they live one town over. It doesnāt mean I love the youngest any less than the other 4. Cut your MIL some slack.
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Good grief grow up! Youāre ridiculous! 
You all couldnāt have been that close if youāre posting this anonymously and not talking to HER!!
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The older you get the more you forget. Iām sure she loves her grand kidsā¦ Honestly you should just tell her how you feel & Ask her If it was intentional because Even if she doesnāt admit that it could have been intentionalā¦ Talking to her about it right away shows Her that youāre not going to put up with this behavior if it is. Itās OK to create boundaries as long as you do it respectfully.
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Part of the problem with families today is everyone talks but never to the person they have an issue with, always to everyone else about the issueand the person! Why?
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When I call my parents house and my dad answers always knowing I want to talk to mom 
she ask who it is and he always responds with ONE OF YOUR DAUGHTERāS we are triplets (2 girls and 1 boy) so dad has a 50/50 of getting it correct so he chooses not to pick the wrong name. Also about 21 years ago when I got married (my first marriage) my mother made me a home made cookbook in the front cover it had a loving note from my mother and my name is Justine with a E on the end and my mother wrote JUSTIN (without my E) clearly a different name all together. And she named me!! So is it a big deal um not so much I am 39 now and little things like this still happen. Am I mad about it. NOPE because life is shortā¦ enjoy family why you have them. Not everyone remembers everything. I have several nieces and nephews and I dont remember all of there birthdayās or even know all of there middle names but of course they are my siblings spouses children but still I include them in things even though they are not blood. Itās not easy. Yes she should have remembered but make sure your children know itās not the end of the world and Nana still loves them even though it feels like they should be more important. Best of luck
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like really
I understand your frustration but how old is she I forgot my own sons name wait lets take that back I donāt forget I call them one of their brothers names all the time . But honestly I can not remember anyones name .
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I think that there are plenty of other things to get butt hurt over in lifeā¦this one you should probably let go of. Itās not worth it.
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I was that kid where my grandparents forgot my birthday and never spelled my name right. Iām 31 tomorrow and they still donāt remember. Neither of my parents stood up for me even when they got my other cousins birthdays and names wrong.
I think the issue isnāt with forgetting a name but more towards the blatant favoritism towards the other grandkids and the anger is misplaced. I donāt take my kids to family functions because my oldest is 4 and asks why the other kids get so and so and she doesnāt. Or why didnāt they come to my birthday but they came to theirs. Iām gonna protect my kids first and I have already sat down and explained all of that with my partner and he has my back.
Take a cool down day, talk to your eldest who was hurt and have all of you sit down and talk out the feelings.
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Life is too short to be mad and create so much tension over something thatās so minimal maybe sheās around the other kids more and thays why she remembers
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I donāt think anything wrong with forgetting a name or a birthday as long as she loves the child. Life happens sometimes people forget.
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I wish this was my only problem.
ā¦ your acting very immature. She may have memory issues and you causing a scene on something such as this is childish.
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Summer Ann Savannah Rose
Get over it. Some people donāt have memories that allow them to remember specific things like that. Some people are horrible at remembering dates. Some remember faces better than names. Youāre being petty and it seems like youāre looking for something to be upset at her about.
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He should be upset as well , 1st him then you and 3rd his/your son got hurt as well !!! 
You my dear have no grasp of what real family troubles are! You are obviously looking for negativity! What a shame! Your attitude is very damaging. Like others have said, Grow Up!
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Honestly, grow up. You sound like you are looking for a problemš¤·š»āāļø I feel bad for your husband.
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First World problems Fml 
Seriously! Iām the oldest of 5 and my parents only remember my birthdate and none after me.
I have 6 kids and they only remember My eldest ones birthdate. No biggie! Some people just have good memories and some donāt. Get over yourself, what a lame thing to worry about so stupid.
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Yall are ripping this lady apart but if her concern is coming from her childās welfare then I donāt see a problem. If gma blatantly got it all wrong in front of the kid imagine how that kid would feel? I canāt say I would get hung up on it but for christs sakes, put the same effort in with all your grandchildren. They feel thatā¦
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If these are the āproblemsā your having, you donāt really have problems.
My grandma sang happy birthday to me in a room full of familyā¦ā¦ it was my sisters birthday. She also calls everyone of us by the wrong name, even the dog. Itāll be alright.
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I guess if youāre looking for something to be mad aboutā¦ 
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Good grief, get over yourself. You are making a big deal
Over nothing and behaving in a way that will affect family relations for years.
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My grandma used to just list all the names til she got it right, and we would just laugh. And the older you get the less people remember your birthday, itās a sad fact of life. My mom hasnāt acknowledged my birthday in many, many years.
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If she has a calendar hanging, write in your kids name ( middle included) and birthdate.
Donāt be childish. We all forget. Youāll forget something important someday too
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So your upset she doesnāt know information about children she barely sees? Coupled with the fact that age makes things easily forgotten. My feelings would be hurt sure, but not enough to make a ārighteous sceneā.
Of course she will know more information about people she regularly sees and is around. You lived far away and then moved further. Your husband is happy when he gets to see his family, yet you make it uncomfortable when he actually gets to see them.
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How old is she? People who get older, in general, lose their memory. Itās sad. You shouldnāt be upset about it if itās not malicious or sheās at least trying. How many visits do you think you might have left with his mom, anyway. Like 30? Less? Like 5x a year for 6 years, or like 2x a year for 15ā¦ and maybe thatās a stretch. You could probably step back and and look at it from a different angle. Perspective is everything. Be grateful for what you do have.
If you have $24 and someone takes a dollar, are you going to throw out the other 23? No. So donāt do that with your time and energy either.
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My grandma had 28 grandkids names/bdays to remember and love. She did her best and yeah there was a decline in the accuracy of it in her later years but I never let it piss me off when she forgot mine or asked me what my sonās middle name is. Iād give anything to have her back. Youāre being petty and affecting your kidsā relationship with her negatively when you donāt even have to. You could have just gently reminded her but instead you chose to do this, and that speaks more about you than her. Give the lady a break. Your children and husband will thank you.
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Wow I donāt remember my grandkids birthdays either! And guess what? And you believe they all love me to death anyways? It takes two people to make a good relationship
Do you know how many times I have to stop and try to remember my grown kids birthday? And I love them.
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My dad to this day NEVER spells my name rightā¦ Him and mom are the ones that came up with itš
I get a kick out of when I get a bday card from him and it reads Dani or dannie
Itās Danni!!! Cmon nowš
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Iām sorry to say but you sound a bit too petty. My own mother used to call me one or two wrong names before getting mine right and I wouldnāt be mad. My father doesnāt even know my birthday without checking in his records, but I still love him anyway. My fiance is also not very good with names, he meets people and forgets their names before we leave. I canāt blame him for his bad memory, sometimes we joke about it and itās not a big deal. My dear, choose your battles wisely
Old people forget stuff that is just life
Wow lady you need to let that go sometimes my own mother forgets my name its always Kelli , Kati or whichever one you are!!!
Maybe sheās getting dementia. It happened to my grandmother. It was the beginning of dementia too. She would call me my Aunts name. I would answer no matter what. 2 weeks later we lost her and I would give anything to hear her call me the wrong name just one more time. I think you should maybe talk to her and make it water under the bridge b4 its to late.
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If this upsets you talk it out with her not yelling and screaming. Try to understand why. We canāt control others only ourselves.
Iām 32 and canāt even remember most peopleās names and birthdayāsā¦ Shit I canāt even imagine what it will be like when Iām a grandparent. Lol. Itās not that serious girlā¦ relax.
Donāt let them in, if they arenāt willing to be in all the time! Donāt put your kids thru it, itās not worth it!
Maybe it isnāt your Mother in law who is making the difference, but you and your kids making the difference. Do you and your kids talk to her often by phone. Do you show an interest im her. It may not be that she loves them less than the others but that she knows the others better because they stay in contact with her
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You all miss the point that she can remember all of them except hers. Yes, I would be a little upset, but not to the extent you are. Have you talked to her about it? Tried to find out why that is?. In the family interest it would be a good start.
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Get down from your pedestal
If thatās all you have to get upset aboutā¦!
Life happensā¦ even you will find this out with time. Let it go!! On a scale of importanceā¦ this doesnāt even register
I do not think you should be mad at her. If she does not see yalls kids as much as she sees the other grandkids than that is why she forgets their middle names. Just kindly remind her what their middle name is. She might have a memory problem.
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I mean my dad forgot my daughterās birthday, and she was born on his birthday. Sometimes you just gotta take it with a grain of salt.
And no, neither me nor my stepmom who was there, has let my dad live it down since. 
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Get over it. You live away, so donāt see her often. Iām sure she isnāt doing it on purpose. She may be forgetful.
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Thats lifeā¦i gave her her name and i get it wtong sometimes.my mom would go thru all the names before she got ours right.it was funny
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