Shiiiiid my own mom gets mad at one of us but goes down the list before she calls us the right name 
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Let it go. Donât waste time and energy fretting and stewing. Be happy and stop making yourself miserable.
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Youâre a brat. Petty
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You are making a mountain out of a molehill, you kid is upset about it because you have made a big deal about it, you acted like a child because an older woman forgot a date??? Have you never forgotten something? Itâs time to grow up.
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I mean you live farther away and she sees the others more often so of course sheâs going to know more about them/be closer to them. Doesnât mean she loves your kiddos any less nor does it make her a bad grandmother. Not to be dismissive of your feelings but I think itâs not as deep as it may seem (from an outside point of view). Also your kiddos are gonna react from the way you are reacting which may cause a rift between them and their grandmas relationship.
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Your acting like a child,you need to grow up. Lot of people are not good at remembering names.
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Perhaps the said child, âalmost 19 years oldâ could have calmly said his "middle " name himself if he was right there!! Maybe even smiled and said itâs okay grandma and reminded her himself!! Sounds like sheâs mostly on her own and the other brother and his family are the ones around . Doesnât sound like you were ever quite close. Her grown Son is a married man with children of his own now so why do you think your mother in law should cater to your needs. Do you cater to hers. You lived an hour and a half away to start with then completely moved away. How much did she get to see her grandchildren or how much did you or the children communicate with her. Sounds like a lack of respect for your elders. I wonder how your mother in law was feeling when her Son and grandchildren moved away and she had even less contact with them then she did when you were 90 minutes away. If it was a fairly easy drive then why didnât her children make the drive to visit her. Too busy???
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Wow, sensitive much. Everyday I call my daughters their sisters name. A few times I had to stop and think when asked their birthday. Crying over silly shit, and the lady is getting older, her memory not so sharp. You sound like an evil pos.
Maybe sheâs getting older and sheâs getting confused 
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It appears you have already successfully taught at least in of your children to be petty and intolerant which has far more lasting impact than an aging grandmother being forgetful. How about teaching them graciousness and compassion instead? After making such a scene at a family gathering, itâs a small wonder few attended the next one if they knew you would be there. You have some fences to mend.
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Honey my own father gets my birthday wrong. He doesnât mean to he is a wonderful man, but every year he calls me on feb 9 instead of the 11th. I was actually supposed to be born on the 9th.
Donât let the little things in life discourage you from enjoying relationships & interactions with family. Family isnât always perfect, but it does sound like they are trying 
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I can remember my mumâs birthday, my step-dadâs, my fatherâs, my brotherâs, my sisterâs and my two sonâs⌠I can remember all theirs⌠but I struggle with my own. Itâs normal. And, if you moved out of state, means she probably sees them more so has more âpracticeâ and/or reminders.
I understand its frustrating⌠but to sit there, at a family gathering while deliberately not talking because of a simple slip up is ridiculous.
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The primary thing I see going on here is the message you are sending to your children. Get over yourself and quit teaching your kids to get offended at the least little slight
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Who calls people by there middle names though ?
I wish these were my problems grow up
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I cant even remember my kids birthdays, always calling other names before theirs. I think youâre being petty about it.
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You are a child, and I feel sorry you have imposed your dramatics on your adult children.
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My Grandmother on my moms side is 70 years old and she has been mixing myself and my cousin first names since I was kid⌠my grandma was my babysitter.Sometimes some family members say my childs name wrong, she has been around for 2 1/2 years. Never has bothered me, I just correct them in a polite manner and move on.
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I couldnât read this all, But did you ever think, just maybe she is in early dementia???
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Cry me a river. Be glad theyâre involved at all. I wish I had your problems smdh.
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My own mom forgets my name sometimes and calls me by my sisters, niece, even my own daughters name sometimes I understand why you are upset though. But you need to understand the other kids are and have always been, a lot closer.
My dads mom & dad barely had anything to do with me & my siblings. They did everything with my aunts kids. They showed major favoritism and treated us like we didnât exist half the time. Never have understood why, other than us being our dad & moms kids.
I donât think this is a favoritism like situation. I just think since yâall live so far away, sheâs obviously alot older, her mind goes blank sometimes.
But you know the situation better than anyone on the internet.
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It seems like nonsense. Especially knowing your a âboyâ mom. Why compare relationships. Yes all children should be considered the same but some do grow up closer, some have different personalities and have closer bonds. Making a scene and continuing to act like that is horrible for not o let the j laws but your husband and kids. I didnât care for my mother in law. At the end of the day you will be there one day, do you want it done to you. A daughter-in-law causing drama over non sense and not seeing your son or grandchildren?
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I have them all on the calendar so I wont forget them and the anniversaryâs too
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My own husband never says our daughters name right lol I wouldnât worry about it
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You need to quit picking on that lady and trying to conjure up a excuse to not like her. So what about the middle nameâŚso what! Youâre jealous of the BIL and his family and acting like a spoiled child with all of your not speaking to anyone at family functionsâŚ.stay home! If youâre showing these attitudes in front of your kids you really need a reality checkâŚlet them enjoy their NaNa while they still have her. Grow up lady!!!
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Honestly you sound super crazy. Making a huge scene and leaving for a hotel?? YIKES. Because of a bad memory? Girl. You are being the family member everyone avoids. Grow up!
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Nothing to get upset about. As we age our brain tends to forget things.
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I forget birthday and names all the times but hell when Iâm your trying to remember your family of 6 your oldest brothers family of 6 your second brother and his 3 known kids your youngest brother and his with his 2 kids and parents then husbandâs family and then your familyâs of cousins aunts uncles grand parents and deaths as well cause everyone comes to you I get things messed up cause family is to large and I call my kids a list and a half of name before I get the right one even throw in animal names at times cause kids except you to remember dogs and kitty names and birthdays its normal to not remember everyoneâs and I have family all over and only see some once a year
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Your kiddo is an adult who can address another adult about his name. Itâs not your responsibility to fight all his battles anymore. I am curious to know if she knew it previously and now doesnât if its a legit memory issue that should be addressed. Is there favoritism maybe but it seems pretty late to be taking up a crusade now. âA righteous sceneâ has me wondering what you did and said Bc after that youâre prob just tolerated. Iâd suggest counseling for you and the husband though Bc it sounds like your communication could use some work.
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Like the majority of comments, grow up. Stop this now! I forget middle names alot and if I didnât write them on the calender Iâd forget birthdays too.
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You sound like a spoiled rotten brat
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Ever think she doesnt come around because you make it uncomfortable for her?
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Yikes sounds like you have way to much drama in your life and maybe you thrive on it? Not everything has to be such a big deal. I think id probably avoid you too
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Youâre full blown nuts, not crazy. My MIL, sweetest lady, couldnât tell you my kids birthdays or legal names. I know she loves them and asks about them often and sends lots of well wishes for me to pass on. I am a girl mom so maybe that makes a difference, I have seen some overly odd relationships with boy momâs before. My husband couldnât tell your their birthdays but Iâm totally confident he loves his girls.
I canât believe you made a scene, itâs not a big deal. I mean youâve mustâve been crazy for a while, thereâs no way you exploded for only this. They must be walking on egg shells for years and probably the nicest people ever that have been over looking your dramatic ways for years.
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Leave the poor woman alone
At her age youâll probably be forgetting your on Birthday 
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Youâre definitely making too much of it. Just talk to her like a human and I bet sheâll come visit.
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Lmao ⌠if you let something like this bother you, you have issues. If this is how you react then maybe thatâs why she doesnât come around .
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Pretty childish to act like that sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do
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Lol I have two daughter under two but mistake their name for the other. My mum do call me with my sis name sometimes.
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First world problems, an old woman forgetting a middle name. I have two children, a boy and a girl yet sometimes I ask âwhatâs your name again?â. Drama queen much 
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Let it go. Not worth the disharmony. My mil lived with us and though she could do birthdays (she writes them down) but middle names. Doubtful. Not worth the hassle
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I so agree Taylor I have such a time with my memory and Birthdays are one of them for sure I love all 11 of my babes the same !!! When I was a kid we always went to grandmas to visit That was the best way because exploring grandmas was always fun And I am not perfect glad my kids spouses love me !!!
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My husband has no idea when our kids bdays are or how old they are. My grandma (who raised me and weâre very close) just recently asked me to verify when their bdays are so she had their checks ready. Not a big deal. I have a hard enough time keeping all the dates straight.
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Grand children are priceless and should always feel loved around their grand parents. If not than those grand parents would never see them again. I would just mail them a picture of them each year with their full name and birthday on the back and leave it like that.
I raised my boys and best believe they came before anyone even my own blood family
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Ummm I would be mad as hell, too⌠you are right to want to protect your childrenâs feelings, because thatâs what this boils down toâŚignore these nasty remarks, Iâm on your side
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Hell i have 4 kids myself and I mess up their names & DOBs on occasions âŚyour son acted that way cause he sees YOU acting that way. Youâre being petty and your husband is stuck in the middle!
Ummm my mom was in the room with my 2 kids when they were born and she sometimes forgets names and birthdays. If sheâs around the other kids more she may remember them better. It comes with age. Take a chill pill, chances are you could do the same with your grandkids
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Too bad You let a small thing lika a childs middle name come between relatives. Gently saying his real middle name should have been said and add what a great boy he was. You handled it badly
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Wow, I pray pray pray my sons isnât gona marry a woman who lets something so small ruin a family.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
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Let it go life is short
Stop causing a scene. Just let it go.
Yes this isnât ideal make a gift to give her a birthday book with all the families birthdays anniversaries and names first middle and last as a gift include cousins siblings aunts uncles extended family
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I forget my own childâs name and dob and I only have one. I was in the room when my niece was born and I see her near enough everyday and still forget the age/dob, itâs not that big a deal especially if she doesnât see them often
Huh? who cares dose it really affect your daily living 
My mother is the most loving, devoted and attentive grandmother to my 3 children. I would not be surprised if she has no recollection of any of their middle names or birthdays. Life is short. Donât sweat the small stuff.
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maybe she has the beginning stages of dementia? It would be easier for her to remember the names of grandchildren she sees more often that live closer. I have 16 grandkids and often have to ask how old they are and when their birthdays are. That being saidâmy MIL was awful to my two kids, she would bring gifts to the other grandkids just out of the blue and give them to them in front of my kids. She put framed photos of her other grandkids right out where everyone could see themâbut the photos of my kids in the back bedroom. I could go on an on how they were treatedâI finally divorced her son and lived happily without her in our livesâshe wasnât happy either as my ex and his new wife seldom went to see her!
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19 years old is not a child âŚtime to grow up
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No I love my grandkids but I am losing my memory and so not want to admit it
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I think it may have something to do with her age. She probably has just forgotten. I bet she loves all her grandchildren and just wants to spend time with them without having to tiptoe around your insecurities. Relax! Pick your battles! This isnât worth causing family turmoil over. Life is way to short. Be happy you have family to go home to, many donât.
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Families are different. The best thing to do is just accept what each family member has to offer your children. Yes, it hurts your feelings. There is no way for it not to. But, trust me, it doesnât hurt your children the way it does you. I have found, by experience, children accept each side of the family as they are. You should, too, for your children and husbandâs sake.
I have to write down my grandkids and great grandchildrenâs birthdays. I do not know everyoneâs middle name. I love them all. Iâm getting older and my memory is not as good.
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Iâm a grandma of 7 and cannot tell you any of their birthday s and some of their middle names hell Iâm lucky to remember my own middle name stop being so petty and just be glad you have a nice mother in law
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Waste of your energy. Too petty. And your 19 yo acts too childishly because he sees you act same way about the matter.
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Iâm sorry, are you always such a martyr?
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Just cause she forgot the 18years old middle name and birthday and you go off on one ffs good job she didnât forget they first names
You say you were always close till she didnât remember birthdays or middle names? Pfftt we couldnât be friendsâŚever lol
Shes not young im sure znd tending to her animals might seem like not a big deal Iâd be exhausted. As we get older and Iâm only 52 we tire out. If she has a good heart let the little petty stuff go. We all are not perfect
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My mother used to call all her childrenâs names until she got the right one no one got upset about it, we just laughed, your son probably got upset because you did, its not that big of a deal.
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Middle name not so much but birthday absolutely!
I say pick your battles. To me this is not worth the division it causes between you and your man. Letting it go only frees you from the power it has over you. 
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Dammmnnnnnn! Calm down. My MIL gets mine and my sons birthday mixed up every year, Iâve been with my husband for 9 years. She has accidentally forgot my sons last name before (he has a different dad)
No need to be so dramatic af bout it.
Sounds like you may have the serious issue with what you believe is preferential treatment. Why not just remind her. If she isnt in their lives 24/7 it can be easy to forget. Also did you think that perhaps she may have an underlying health issue?
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Hell Iâm sitting here trying to name all my grandchildrenâs first middle last name and there damn birthdays Iâm struggling. But it has nothing to do how much I love each and every one of them.
Iâm 28 with two children 8 and 6⌠I was raised by my grandma who my kids are very close to, as am I. She cannot hardly remember any of our birthdays & I highly doubt she knows their middle names 
I would NEVER be upset with her over that. Let alone knowing the birthdays of the grandchildren she doesnât get to see as often 
choose your battles, this isnât one I would fight over personally.
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Perhaps it is her ageâŚ
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Omg you are over reacting, you are acting worse than a child! You and your outburst have made the situation even worse and have put your husband in a bad spot, he might not say it but you acting like this with his family hurts him, wtf, woman up, you donât even see them that often for it to be a big deal.
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Buy her a calendar and write their names on their birthdays. My mother canât get MY name right, and doesnât remember ANY of our birthdays.
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Put the list with your calendar and include birthdates so you will know how old each is.
If there is ALOT of people in your family i wouldnât take too much offense. Iâve noticed the older i get the more i tend to space. Not that Iâve forgotten, just that it became overwhelming therefore a calendar comes into playđ
Maybe she has a problem with her memory. Thatâs not her fault. Try some compassion. You will be there one day as well.
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I donât know your mother in laws personal situation. However, my memory truly does suck. Fact is I went to the doctor on July 1st to be tested for everything because my memory is so bad. This is NOT something I talk about or tell people. I have 3 wonderful grown boys. All very successful. I mix up their names, call them their brothers names, repeat myself, and rarely get anything right in the memory department. Keep in mind I raised these boys. I was never without them. They are my heart and soul and they know it. My boys forgive me for my forgetfulness. I donât mean to and they know it. I donât have grand children yet. Boys (really young men) are too busy taking big vacations and travelling. And I am happy if they are. 
I am just trying to say, I donât think your mil meant it. She maybe struggling.
Waste of energy. Donât worry about the little things and the big things will take care of themselves.
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Iâm lucky I remember my kids middle names. You are being ridiculous and making everyone else uncomfortable. I have 1 grand daughter and I canât tell you without looking it up her exact Birthday. Some people are good at remembering these things and some are not.
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Really wth would you be upset about that get a life
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Donât take anything personally
Itâs really not that serious. People forget thingâs all the time. There are worse thingâs to be upset about in todayâs world.
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I think that family dynamics are so complicated and complex and things get said and someone reacts or overreacts and things get said in the heat of the moment and then everyone holds a grudge until the other one apologizes but because no one admits fault or talks about the situation like adults then families get more devided and itâs always, always the children that become the centre of this and then feel like they have to choose sides. Your mother in law is behaving childish by forgetting their names its understandable if she forgets their middle names I dont even know some of my cousins middle names. The fact that she hasnt participated in your childrenâs birthday as actively as her jther grandkids is because she may not feel welcome by you because of how you react in situations. There might be health issues that you dont know about she could have memory problems or she could just be pig headed stubborn. For your childrenâs sake and your husbands you need to apologize and maybe if you write down your childrenâs full names with a picture of them and their birthdays and make it into a nice picture frame or print out and give it to her and if she accepts it ask her if you can sit down and talk about how youâre feeling and find out her feelings in the situation you may find that she feels like you have taken her son (baby) even though hes a grown man plus her grandkids away from her my moving even though itâs your life as a married family and you may come to mutual respect and communication and commitment to making a better effort for everyoneâs wellbeing and family time.
Just forgive her. I lost my MIL 8 months ago. I wish she were here everyday. My head aches for her. She was a great person. She could never remember my birthday or my youngest. But my husband canât even remember our oldest. See how funny genetics are? Awww crap. Iâm crying. I just want my MIL back! Just make her a little calendar or reminder. Sheâll love you for it.
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Iâm wondering how old your MIL is? Iâm 66 and I couldnât tell you my grandchildrenâs birthdays are.
I Canât remember their middle names either. Guess Iâm lucky my girls donât turn on me as you have your MIL. In my opinion your husband should be angry for the way you are acting.
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Yikes you are overreacting.
Iâm a mom of three, most days it takes me a few times to get to the right name when Iâm calling for just one of themâŚ
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Damn, talk about overreacting
Wow, you seem like a ray of sunshine. You went wayyy too far. I feel sorry for your husband!
Sounds like its deliberate to PISS u off. Write her off if hubby DOES NOT ENLIGHTEN HER on her rude dismissive behaviorâŚYour welcomeâŚthe end
You over reacted plain and simple. Sounds like you are jealous of her spending time with your nieces and nephews who live much closer than your children who live out of state. You seem to grasp thatâs why she doesnât see them much but then turned it around. I get being upset but causing a ârighteous sceneâ whatever that is was not the way to go. No wonder hubs is mad.
Please donât get where your husband has to pick between you and his mom. I have that DIL it makes it so hardâŚlighten upâŚ
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My goodness. Iâm 74. I have over 35 grandchildren. Iâd hate to have to remember all of their middle names. I have birthdayâs on a calendar, thanks to my DIL, or I probably wouldnât remember them. I also have #8 great grandchild on the way. Please donât test me on their middle names. I love them all dearly and they know it. I would be shocked if any of my family got upset at me for such a petty thing.
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I have 4 children. I forget their birthdays and call them by the wrong name regularly. I often mix up my son and his dogs name; I love him and his dog so much. Itâs old age baby. Canât keep it all straight. If she loves them and treats them well, just love her and cut her some slack.
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She may be in an early stage of
memory loss. I am 69yrs old and
are very aware of how my memory
recall isnât what it wasâŚ
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Let it go! Our own expectations are the cause of our suffering. Just show love and receive love even if youâre called the wrong name. Celebrate your time even if itâs on the wrong day. Love is beautiful stop putting your expectations on it.
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She might have some memory loss going on. Sorry but it is hard. My husband doesnât remember many names and no birthdays even mine. Our 48 the anniversary is next week and I know he will not remember it. Please be more understanding especially as she maybe trying to hide the loss of memory.
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Maybe she is sick. With family, one must live without judgement. Lower your expectations for your own happiness and health and never be angry with your husband for what someone else has or has not done.
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