Honestly, I don’t expect anyone to remember my kids birthday other than my husband. The middle name, I could understand being maybe a little annoyed especially since it hurt your sons feelings, but if she is getting older she could just be forgetful especially if she doesn’t get to see them often.
This sounds like you look for something/anything to get upset about. You keep behaving like a petty toxic woman and you won’t be welcomed anywhere.
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My husband doesn’t even remember our kids birthdays… hell I can’t even their names right most the time
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My mom has five kids and calls me and my siblings by at least two different names constantly before she gets the right one, it happens. While I understand feeling upset because it seems your kids aren’t as important which you are allowed to feel that way, it is extremely ridiculous to cause a scene and not talk to them or interact with them over this. Have some maturity and compassion for your mil.
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My granddaughter is pregnant and I cant remember the babys middle name to save my life. Im old 68. 
so please don’t feel to bad. I have 8 grandkids and soon 4 great grandchildren. And it heard to remember everyone middle names and birthdays.
When I was married to my ex husband I used to confuse my sons birthday with my step sons birthday. I once called to make a DR appt for my son and gave my step sons birthday day. Though they were born 4 years and 5 days apart… (9/5/11 & 9/10/15)
Honestly, you’re blowing this way out of proportion and causing problems where there are no real problems.
My daughters name is Emmalyn Kinsley. I can’t tell you how many times her grandfather has called her Emily McKenzie… I don’t know why, i know that he knows her name, so I just ignore it because there are many worse things in the world than getting a name or a birthdate wrong…
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Geez calm down, she could be slowly losing her memories. It happens to some people as they get older. It’s not like she’s doing it on purpose.
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My dad can’t remember anyone’s birthdays. My mother is slowly forgetting birth dates. I get your frustration and hurt, but maybe there are medical issues causing this forgetfulness?
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I’m almost 30 and my own grandmother forgets exactly what day my birthday is.
But she does remember their first name, right?
I have 3 boys & 4 brothers… and i can tell you right now there are times I get their names mixed up. Birthdays are another thing especially for dr apts 
We are human. 
U are petty AS FUCK!!! go grab urself and blankie and pacifier 
Geez, there are more important issues to worry about. Pray for your MIL instead of being angry ir bothered.
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On the real, I don’t expect anyone to remember my kids birthdays lol my mom is amazing, she is a great mom and an even better Nanny and she cannot remember all their bdays. Heck I messed up my third daughters bday last year lol I honestly think some people don’t have brain space for that. You are certainly entitled to your feelings. But for me, I’d let it go and def not cause a ripple. But that’s me 
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Id be mad as hell too 
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I would let it go. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff. I’m 62 years old and I only have two grandkids and I remember the month they were born but have to look on a calendar to remember the day. I have early dementia so I’ve learned after losing my husband and both parents that life is too short to be upset with most things
I have 15 grandbabies and have never forgotten their middle names.
But, it’s really not worth causing a scene over that your MIL did.
Does she otherwise show them love and affection?
If yes, let the rest of it go.
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Yes, you are crazy for expecting that to upset your husband.
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She’s probably going senile. I wouldn’t take it to heart. Some people aren’t very good with birthdays that I know.
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As we get older and more people come into our lives the sh!t gets hard to remember lol
So your mad she remembers the middle name but made it go with the wrong child? I have mixed my kids names up on accident before. Sometimes it’s not intentional but it does happen to the best of us. Maybe stop being so uptight about small things and start spending more time as a family and it might help her to start remembering their names and birthdays more my mom has 11 grandkids and 3 on the way and she doesn’t always remember everything either and we have to remind her sometimes about things but we dont hold it against her
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Get over it this is petty
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In my opinion you are making a mountain out of a mole hill. No everyone is good with dates and middle names. Sometimes the beginnings of dementia make people forget. I am 60 but I forget the date of my Grandsons birthdays. I DON’T do it deliberately or don’t care about them. I can’t retain it. I have written it down so I can remember if nobody is around to ask. I also call my Grandsons the names of my two SONS on occasion.
Thank God my family knows I am not uncaring and accepts me as I am. By the way, I SEE my Grandsons at least 4 times a week too.
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I’d be mad and upset. But I’m petty queen. So 
OMG, you are pathetic.
Lets hope you never age
it made your husband happy that you were in an uncomfortable situation for a whole weekend?
I could understand if there were too many names to remember (my MIL often calls my kids other grandkids names before making it to mine 
but i don’t see it as an issue, she gets confused as there’s quite a few kids to remember) but if she’s purposely forgetting but remembering the others then she’s got issues.
& the fact your Hubby won’t take your side is silly. Like yeah she’s his mother but your his wife & he has a family… 
I truly could not imagine having such a horrible MIL. I feel blessed to have a great one, they seem rare these days.
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My own mon forgot my kids on Christmas…lol
I call my youngest the dogs name sometimes and he lives with me… don’t sweat the small stuff
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My own husband forgets his kids’ birthdays 
The beginning of this really hits home for me. I think that in itself is very upsetting. The name thing could have been a mistake but your husband not backing you up ever it seems would bother me more.
I gave the hospital the wrong birthday for one of my own kids the other week. Didn’t realise until he said “no that’s your other kid, mum”
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Is this for real? I have forgotten my kids birthdays and mix their names up at times and they came out of my vagina…
Sounds like maybe you’re hurt because your relationship isn’t as close with MIL as you’d like it to be? That’s what I gather from you being hurt/upset by her not knowing these facts 
Why not speak to her and arrange to spend more time together and get to know the children better? Sometimes relationships need encouragement. You can be offended or you can make a change.
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Doing some rough math/guessing here. She’s prolly in her 60s or higher? Could dementia or Alzheimer’s have set in? She sees your husband’s siblings kids more often. They live closer? Just a little personal expirence my aunt couldn’t remember MY BIRTHDAY. She remembered my son’s birthday every year. She couldn’t remember his middle name though (my son’s name is my dad’s, her brothers name). She has always given all us kids $1 per year until we turned 10. Then it was $10 until we turned 20. Adult “kids” (Nieces, nephews, grands etc) all got $20. My son got $10 when he was 6 or 7 then 5 the next year. Then somehow he got $50 for his 10th which was the 21st bday “bonus”. I rarely even got a card (if you knew this aunt, that’s weird). I realized she was older & very confused. I asked my uncle about it. He said “Auntie loves you but gets a little confused. Just remember she loves you.” It was left at that. It kinda stung. Not that she forgot bdays or ages or names but that she went through that. It’s so hard when their minds start to go. I’m sure you made it harder by making a fuss out of it. You said you were close. She didn’t forget because she doesn’t love you or your kids. She can’t control it! Just gently remind her when it comes up. Don’t get mad. You’re just making it harder on her.
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Are they old? If so geez that’s very petty to get upset over. I’m 20 and I can’t even remember my own kids bdays sometimes
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I think you way overreacted….like way out there. People forget things, especially older people. I have 5 kids and I forget things all the time. I be calling them by the wrong name sometimes. I know so many people who forget birthdates. When you have a lot of people in your life, that’s how it tends to get. You really overreacted girl. Maybe that’s something to think about.
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No excuse my mom has 17 grandkids, knows all their bdays and middle names! Also drives hours on the 4 gkids bdays who live out of town to have special bday meals (either lunch or dinner) with the birthday boy or girl. What?!
Been there on the other hand, my ex mother in law put the wrong name on my daughters 1st birthday cake….
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Hunny i forget my own kids birthdays dont be like that as we get older we forget.
I think it’s ok to be hurt by it, but only for a short time. I wouldn’t let it ruin what relationship you do have with her and absolutely don’t let it impact your marriage.
I consider it a good day when their own father remembers their birthdays lol. Why get butthurt over something so trivial? Old people forget things, be supportive not combative.
My nan has over 40 grandkids, we’re just blessed that she even remembers our names and yes to truthfully and respectfully answer your question… yall cray cray for having that expectation
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I mean, I’m just going to throw this out there. My great grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Toward the end of her life, she didn’t even know who any of us were…except my dad, who is only related to her by marriage. Of course we were all devastated, but she couldn’t help it, and we lived in a different state, so she didn’t see us as often as she saw the rest of her family. Now, her daughter, my Gran, has also been diagnosed with it, and she is beginning to be incredibly forgetful as well. She has asked me at least 5 times every time I’ve seen her what our due date is with our last baby. She couldn’t even remember I was pregnant until I started to show. She can’t name all of her grandchildren or great grandchildren anymore. Doesn’t mean she loves them any less. His mother is elderly. Their minds are not what they once were. Frankly, I think you’re being ridiculous. Birthdays, middle names…these are such small things. My dad’s mother addressed my birthday cards to Kay M my entire life…my middle name is Nicole. She just didn’t like my middle name lol. I never got offended or upset. And now that she’s gone, I can’t help but grin when I come across one of the cards she sent me and see that M. Your son is likely making a big deal about it because YOU made a big deal about it.
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My mom calls my kid Vincent and his name is victor lol it’s not a big deal
My kids own dad forgets their ages, and their birthdays…one of whom is the DAY BEFORE HIS. But whatever, I’m not expecting much out of him anyway. I guess I’d be more offended if she forgot their actual first name? Other than that as long as she is treating them kindly is it that big of a deal? I mean I would expect my mom and/or mil to know those things but if it slips their mind I’m not going to make a big deal of it especially if she doesn’t see them often. I don’t go around calling my children by their full names (unless they’re in trouble! Lol) so I could see how people may forget.
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I get my own kid’s names mixed up all the time.
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It would upset me too. I’d be more upset your husband doesn’t have your back.
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You are making mountains out of molehills.
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I think you blew things out of hand. my husband doesn’t know our kids birthdays lol it’s not a big deal. if she was sending gifts to one and not the other that would be an issue.but if course she is closer to the kids she sees more.
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I’m 30 my grandma forgets my birthday even though it’s the same as my grandpa’s she even forgets my middle name sometimes totally normal she’s old let it go.
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Get over it. It’s been 19 years she isnt going to remember everything especially getting older. Don’t make it hard on your husband when it sounds like she loves your kids very much. Sounds like petty unnecessary drama that can be avoided.
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I don’t think it’s something to ruin a relationship over. My daughter was 2 when my dad realized her middle name and he still doesn’t know it. He was there the day she was born. I also send him a week in advance reminders for their birthday. If the kids aren’t there alot or as frequent it is hard to remember things. I’m bad with dates as well. I have to have 4 reminders starting a week in advance for any important date. I don’t think you should ruin the relationship with her over that. It does feel disappointing though.
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Every yr my mil calls her own son a day AFTER his birthday. Every yr she gets corrected…but we repeat the pattern still.
I don’t even think my MIL knows my son’s middle names as all, and one is easy, it’s my last name lol never mind the birthday(she doesn’t call or text, so who knows if she remembers).
I’ve just learnt to play civil🤷
When we all together, I stay polite and civil. Engaged but not really.
But ya.
Then another grandma…well, she’s been spelling my kiddos name wrong for 8yrs now…as did his uncle(altho he caught on last month and has since spelt it correctly lol).
So ya…it’s not that serious…lol
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Maybe shes getting old & her memory is off… could be worse… like if she didn’t know who any of you are…
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You blew things way out of proportion.
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I forget names all the time they just laugh because they know I love them
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My MIL spells my kids names wrong even. 
it bothers me she doesn’t remember birthdays but what can you do. Just forget it and let it go.
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You need to grow up. You acted like a child. It’s ok to be hurt and angry, but pouting like a child is ridiculous. You blew things way out of proportion.
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I’d be furious, but I also get over stuff in a few days. Your husband needs to see both sides.
My dad and I are best friends, we talk every single day and he always forgets my birthday and has no idea what my children’s birthday or middle names are… but he loves us more than life itself. It’s okay!!
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My MIL has 10 grandchildren all together and she knows each ones middle names (they all have 2) and can recite their birthdays off the top of her head.
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So I personally think your being ridiculous. But I also know how it feels being left out. We live 1300 miles away from my in laws thank god. They dont count me as family bc of his ex wife & their 3 kids. They basically excule our 2 kids & us from anything. We went to visit when our oldest was 1 & they literally had me in tears for a whole weekend. I never felt so uncomfortable. & they invited his ex to start drama with us for nothing. Since that I rarely reach out to my in laws. So I get the left out part. But I think the whole middle name & birthday thing is kinda ridiculous. I dont expect someone I rarely speak to, to remember birthdays & such. Just my opinion though.
Could be she’s losing her memory. Either way I’d suggest letting it go and putting your time and energy into more important things. I speak from personal experience-your marriage and family relationships will suffer if you don’t.
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I havent a clue what my nephews middle names are… They are 12 and 9. 
I know their bdays are sometime in march and close to Halloween but other than that, I got notta. I have to remind my hubby to call his mom on her bday every year… And if it wasn’t for fb I wouldn’t know it either.
Be easy mama… I am sure its not intentional.
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I mean my Grama is 60. I’m 25. I even forgot how old I was. I was born in 96. And I honestly dont care if my grandparents forget my birthday. Or what. I lost my great gramparents this year. Well my great Grama almost three years. My great grampa because he had sergury. But any way. My great Grama always confused my name with my mom. And I didn’t care what she called me. At least I got to spend her last days with her. So to me if my grandparents forget my name or what ever I don’t care. Cuz I just love spending with my grandparents.
Oh my goodness. I’m sorry if this is brash, but there needs to be a lot more grace given here.
No one is expected to be perfect, I get my own children’s birthdays mixed up from time to time LOL.
My mother has called me my sisters name on accident from birth
This whole situation is wildly blown out of proportion and seems like it stems from jealousy quite honestly.
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I get it but just let it go there older I could see if they were really little n for some odd reason someone need there hole name n she couldn’t do it then yes it would be a problem but there older it’s not like their there all the time
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As you get older unless constantly around something you forget things. I know ur hurt cause their relationship isn’t as strong as you want it. But I think I side on the it’s not as big a deal as you think…
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Too much to read. Get over yourself.
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Be true to yourself and admit that your reaction is rooted in your own insecurities.
You somehow have this unspoken competition between your kids and their cousins, including grandmas attention. You interpret her forgetfulness of your kids’ bday or names as unfairness when it might have been unintentional on her part, and does not goes to say that she loves your kids lesser.
Your actions of sulking for almost a year is childish actually. If you value relationships, admit that you and your kids do not always have to be 1st place and that is ok. That is reality in the real world. Do not be insecure in that because kids inherit the parents insecurities too, if left unchecked.
Whatever unfairness you experience growing up, deal with your emotions and be done with it. Do not involve your kids in your emotional traumas.
But if you really find it hard to let go of this scenarios, then seek counsel. Find somebody who can help you. For this attitude of yours is making another problem with you and your husband.
1st your in laws, now your husband. Who will be involved next?
I hope you find peace…
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My mil always misspells my oldest name. It irks me I’ve told her once but she continues to still misspell it
Maybe depending on her age her memory is starting to go. It often starts with little things.
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My father doesn’t know my birthday I doubt he knows my kids. My grandmother only knew 2 or 3 of her grandkids birthdays.
My nana who lived with us for the better part of my life used to call me ten different names before she got to mine - sometimes it’s just age
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My father knew NONE of his kid’s birthdays. After my mom died 5 years ago I had to write them down for him. And my birthday is exactly 7 days after his in December! And my 2 sisters are 2 weeks after 4 days apart.
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Who cares either be in their life or don’t. This could be where she hated you and did everything possible to ruin your marriage. I get it… It hurts… But don’t make this much bigger than it is. But do not take this out on your husband. He can not control them. It’s not right to have him be the punching bag for this.
Personally it sounds like you are dramatic and attention seeking behavior is very unattractive. You being childish is most likely the reason the 19 yr old was so offended, its learned behavior. I think you’re on a high horse and need to lower expectations a little bit. My kids have a brother who lives near their paternal grandparents and spends weekends there when pur kids see them every 3 months or so… Obviously they know him better and we don’t expect any different. I really dont think its a big deal at all. My grandma spells my 12 yr olds name wrong every time and I just roll my eyes and laugh it off. Things could be so much worse!
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I hate to say it but I do.think you are overreacting a bit. It would frustrate me for sure but perhaps there is something more profound going on. Perhaps early on set dimentia or something like that. I am assuming she is older so it is not uncommon for someone to forget and yes it sucks that she seems to remember her other grandkids info a little better then yours but she does see them more and that is bound to happen. I am sure she loves them all the same. I would be more concerned with how she treats them more.then remembering stats. You have a right to be annoyed for sure but acting the way you described in your posts seems a little excessive and childish to me. If you felt like a 3rd wheel it sounds like you brought that on yourself. Life is too short if she loves your kiddos and shows them attention and affection that is all that matters. I lost my MIL a few years back and my boys only got to know her for a few years and they adored her. We miss her dearly and value the time we had.
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When I was a kid idk how many family members couldn’t spell my first name right. I mean to be fair my kids grand parents are not active my exs mom knows the older girls birthdays. I had the first grand kids. Pretty sure my mom knows their bdays but prob not full names so far 3 out of 4 have super long names (two middle names)…my dad nah… he wouldn’t remember. He prob doesn’t even remember mine half of the time. Lol.
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I am not only a grandma but a great grandma. Grandpa is terrible about remembering birthdays and middle names especially of the grands we don’t get to see as much. But let me tell you he is crazy on love with all of them. You said you have stopped going around your MIL much how lovely for her.
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Let it go… let it go… let it gooooooooo!!! I get where you coming from but damn if these are your true concerns and problems consider yourself lucky!
Ive been married 15 years and my last name is childers, my own mom still spells it childress on everything…checks, court documents, everything. Ive told her numerous times but who cares. It’s an honest mistake.
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My mother isn’t even in my children’s life as she chose to move away when I was 8 so be glad she’s involved…
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Maybe it’s a memory thing. She knows your bills kids middle names because she sees those kids & uses the names on a regular basis.
Does she speak to your kids on the phone? How often does she interact with your kids?
Give her a break on the middle names. If she doesn’t use them regularly, she may not remember.
My mother in law got youngest sons middle name all.confused when he was born. His middle name is Declan and she called the family and said “his name is Avery dunkmeyer or something” she loved her grandkids dearly and I knew that so I thought nothing of it and we laughed about it. In fact my then 2 year old started calling him Avery dunkinhead and we still call him dunkinhead or dunk with affection. It reminds us of her.
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My ex MIL spelled my name wrong for years. I took it as a jab because she clearly knew how to spell it. I even reminded her a few times.
Point taken….you’re the Alpha.
My mom called me on my sisters bday to wish me a happy birthday, and added 5 years to my age (the age of my other sister, not the one she called to wish me a happy birthday about).
I also draw a blank when people ask me my kids birthday lmfao. Like idk he’s 7 I have a bunch of kids. Lol.
I don’t know there’s so much more to be angry about in life 
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Omg you’re just creating a problem where there isn’t one. So what if she needs to be reminded of things, she’s old! If it bugs you so much send her a personalized calendar every year with pictures of the kids on each of their birthdays! Also who cares about a middle name? You know cultures didn’t even start with middle names until the 17th century? They’re literally just extra fluff. If she remembers the name the kid goes by and their correct pronouns everything else is moot. Get over yourself and maybe also get some counseling bc you sound like you have at least some kind of personality disorder.
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My own mother messes up her hrandchild’s first name but what does it matter ? With age comes difficulties. Especially when the name is not front and center all the time. It’s just a name. And a middle name at that. Your reaction seems to be rooted somewhere else within you. Search for it.
As for birthdays, I’m glad I can remember my own birthday. My siblings usually send me a reminder that it is so and sos birthday so I don’t forget to call. And I’m not yet mid 40. 
You are just dramatic.
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You’re over reacting…forget about it, causing unnecessary problems
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You sound like an entitled brat. Lol. Get tf over it.
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Ummmm is it just possible that MIL is not as sharp as she once was…things that you know and don’t often havd cause you recall …like once a year Birthdays and middle names could easily escape her.
It seems you are deeply hurt which is very sad…but try to remember MIL will not be around for ever and I’m sure it wasn’t a deliberate lapse.
You sound like a big baby! Lower you expectations, and grow up!!
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Maybe you need to slow down and first of all realize as we get older we do forget
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You are definitely overteacting and being dramatic! One day your husbands mother will be gone. Get over yourself!
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For real?!? My oldest sibling is 51 and the youngest is 38. There are 6 of us. Only 1 boy. My dad has always, always called us by the wrong name at some point. Even My brother. Give it a rest and quit being a drama queen.
My Dad still forgets my birthday, but he loves me.
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And I’m 38, so he’s had that many reminders lol.
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You sound like a joy to be around at parties.
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I forget my kids middle names and birthdays sometimes lol
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I would be upset too lol.
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