My mother-in-law left our wedding and is now demanding an apology: Thoughts?

Just needing to rant about what just happened at my own wedding…I married my husband a week ago and the entire wedding/reception his mother was literally pouting because we wouldnt allow her to make a toast at our wedding with literally HORRIBLE JOKES…she wrote it down and told us that she as going to stand up and say something at the reception and my husband and I literally got secondhand embasressment so we would not let her do it…the entire rest of the day she was being a grump…our daighter started gettin tired and grumpy durin the reception so my husband walked her outside to get some fresh air, there was a lot going on for her. His sister tried to take the baby and got offended when my hsuband said no its his daughter and he wanted to make sure she was okay…she went inside and got their mom and again, mom came out demanding my husband give her the baby because its his wedding and he sohouldnt be caring for the baby…but he again said no it is my child and i wanna care for my child…she got PISSED and left the reception and is now demandin an polgy for “how we treated her” like what even? tell me it gets better with mother in laws.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/my-mother-in-law-left-our-wedding-and-is-now-demanding-an-apology-thoughts/19660

Sounds like you got a real monster in law.

You’ve got nothing to apologize for. But this is most likely in indication of how she’s going to act in the future.

No matter how much you love someone a bad in-law can ruin a marriage quick.

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It gets better. They eventually die…

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Weddings bring out the worst in people

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Let it go and keep y’all distance. Let her know that her dramatics aren’t working

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Bruh I have one too. Just ignore it.

Narcissistic bitch at her finest

Meh, she will get over it or she won’t.
Water off a ducks back, you move on with the happy memories you made

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Nope. Hypothetically speaking, she IS an adult. She needs to pull up her big girl panties and buck up.

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Depends on the individuals honestly . My MIL and I used to not get along very well at first ,we had our differences but now we get along amazing and I wouldn’t trade her for the world . She is a wonderful person now that I got to know her .

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Don’t apologize for anything. U guys need to ignore her

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Sounds like she’s a big baby :joy::sob: just ignore it. She will get over w.e mood she was in.

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Trust me. It doesn’t get better once they show their true selfs.

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Mother in laws SUCK!!! and you definitely DO NOT owe her an apology.

Tell her to take her shitty childish attitude somewhere else until she is ready to grow up and act like an adult

Nah, she needs to get over herself. She ain’t special.

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How is the baby/child now? And yalls marriage? If both are the same or better, let it go.

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Mother-in-law’s get better!! This happens the day you decide to cut them out of your life forever because of their toxic behavior.

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It doesn’t get better, but if y’all stand your ground and stay firm on your rules/boundaries for your kids & life… it won’t be as bad💗 we’ve had to speak up and be stern with our parents when it comes to our kids

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Keep your distance and I wouldn’t apology to her neither of u owe her anything!

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It depends on the person. I love my mother in law. But your MIL needs to put her big girl panties and grow up

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She’s literally off her goddamn gourd.

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Yeah, sometimes it never gets better with m i l’s. Im kinda surprised you didnt know about her sooner?

I hate ppl like that. They try to tell u how YOUR event should go. Ppl who try to run weddings, baby showers, parties, etc. They are the ones who crave being the center of attention. If it was me, I would seriously tell her, “until you can grow up & act like a grown woman instead of a bratty child, do not come to anything else we host. If you can’t respect mine or my husband’s wishes, then do us all a favor and stay home.” Then I’d probably make a comment about her being delusional and thinking she can tell me what to do. As u can guess me and my mom in law butted heads for a while. In the beginning she blamed me for everything. Finally after bucking up on her a few times, we actually became pretty close. Now, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Some mom’s imo, forget that when their kids are grown, they have their own lives.

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I have my MIL blocked. I love her but we are clashing hardcore. Starting to get better though. Apologize that she feels that way :laughing:

I’d say it gets better. For me it did she became my Bestfriend someone I could trust but then we decided to move 8 hrs away and my mother in law threw a massive fit.
Use to spend like 2+ hrs on the phone with her and now it’s like maybe a 15 mins convo and my kids running around with my phone talking to her. It’s hard. I’m sorry.

It’s not even worth another thought. All that matters is that it was your wedding day. No need to stress or be consumed over what someone else thinks they deserve.

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Don’t even bother with such frivolous, childish demands.live life happy

Pick your battles, keep your distance, and never force your husband/wife to pick sides.

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Not with one like her and a daughter that plays victim and tattles. Good luck you’re in for a mental mind :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:

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Learn to pick your battles

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Nope it wont.but hey block her… make a simple post on both pages saying yall gonna be away for a bit. Block her on everything (hit ignore) and enjoy time as a family

Dude this is my mil 100%

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My MIL is banned from our house. She is not allowed. I haven’t seen her in over a decade and my life is so much better!

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Be lucky you have a mother in that wants to be involved in your life. Some are not so blessed. Just my opinion

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Sad to say you gonn have issues with that one but thank God you have a husband that will stand up for his wife even to his own mother.

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Who knows some mother in laws are different!!

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As long as you and hubby support each other, then don’t let her get to you guys! One of us would have attended our daughter the same way!

How pathetic does she wanna be :joy:

Nope but keep doing what y’all did tonight she’ll eventually run out of steam.

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How selfish and childish of her

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Just tell her to grow up and ignore her

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Sister in law and mother in law smh good luck… They act this way during your wedding what else could you expect.

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She’ll get over it. If she’s that desperate for attention, she’ll move past it to keep your attention on her.

Holy crap…well I would def not be apologizing to anyone. I’d tell her not to make a big deal out of nothing and if anything YOU felt disrespected (if you choose to bring up her childlike behavior)

I haven’t talked to my MIL for two of the four years I been with my hubby. The peace of the silence.

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I have 4 kids with my husband my inlaws only saw my 2nd child till she was a month old. Never even met my 5 and 3 yr Olds. My husband wrote thwm out of his life there for mine and the kids as well as I would newer go behind his back.
But a little back story they treated my husband as Cinderella so to say. His mom use to beat him up and his had would hold him down to let her … there horrid people.

Your mil needs to get off her riotous horse!
Sorry

Wish I could of had a relationship like my mom and grandma they had an amazing bond

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Shes got issues lol I wouldn’t be apologising. Yours and your husbands day, perfectly okay to spend it how you wish and your husband sounds like a lovely dad, nothing to be sorry for

How childish of her :bangbang:

Adios monster in law.

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That is ridiculous you have no reason to apologize if anyone should be apologizing is your narcissistic mother in law. Keep a long distance is my advice to you.

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How petty why couldn’t she say something nice without the embarrassing jokes? Typical narcissistic behaviour just wants to be the “poor me victim”
Watch your SIL too seems the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

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I really wish it did.

Your day— your child — tell her to grow up.

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Apology for what? For her own childish actions? Nope.

Oh it will not get better. It will get worse and worse. Stand up for yourself and make sure HE stands up for you and both of you and not be that Mama’s Boy. And CONGRATS on getting married. :confetti_ball::tada:

That’s not a mother in law that’s a MONSTER IN LAW! She can suck it up buttercup!

Nope. Whole Lotta control going on here. She needs to relinquish and both sil and mil need to grow up…seriously, she told on her brother at his wedding to mommy who’s bent out of shape it didn’t go her way…yeah…healthy

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Remind her whose wedding it was and call it a day;the event was NOT about her!

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Just the beginning or middle… but you can write the ending however you like.

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You have a taste of things to come. Set your boundaries now, if you haven’t already.

My mother in law was awesome treated me like her own I took care of her when she was diagnosed with cancer and passed last year. My husband’s sister is a true peice of crap always has been.

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I’m so grateful I have an amazing mother in law…personally I wouldn’t of cared about the speech but it’s your wedding and she should of respected that.

Seems like the mil was shot down with everything she was trying to do to be involved, I feel sorry for her.

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Nope, it doesn’t get better. I wish I was blessed with a good mother in law.

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Oh it gets better :laughing: She has just got started!!

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Eh with some mother in laws it never gets better… :woman_shrugging:t2:

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MAYBE some but not many you and your husband doesn’t owe her or the sister an apology they should be the ones apologizing to you and your husband

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Wow she’s nuts. Maybe recommend a good phychiatist?

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Well. My mother in law literally fought with me during my wedding, a screaming match calling me every name in the book because she got drunk off a beer and I let my cousins wife go feed our dogs instead of my mother in law…because my mother in law always overfeeding them by sometimes triple and fed them so much ppl food they got sick…but my cousins wife offered and I said sure! And my wedding is a blur after that bc she made me drink a LOT after she stormed off and left… buuuuuuuttttt…10.5 years later and she lives next door to us. We get along amazing.

Shrug it off. Bc in 10 years, you guys will laugh about it. Hopefully.

You got children too, I hope one day they don’t do the same thing to you and call you embarrassing because you want to just have a little part in your child’s wedding and the sister was only trying to help. There are so many people out there who get zero help with their kids from family or family wants nothing to do with their weddings etc. You made it sound like it was the worst thing in the world.
I’ve worked at many weddings and some people had no family attend, some people were nearly in tears trying to care for their baby and celebrate their special day at the same time.
I wish my sister in law was here to help me or that my mother in law had wanted to participate instead sitting there frowning all day and night dressed like it’s a funeral.

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Don’t even bother to respond

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Sis……it don’t get better. You adapt or divorce. Just saying. May the force be with you on this journey. Seriously. :expressionless:

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Do not apologize. Do not feed into her nonsense

My (now ex-) husband feared his dad wouldn’t come for our wedding if he didn’t have a free place to stay. They had been astranged for years but started talking a year before we got married. Nevermind that all of his aunts and uncles had homes to offer, but he insisted he stay with us for the week leading up to our wedding. He was a massive chain smoker and sat out on our apartment deck smoking away with the sliding glass door open. 3 days before he wedding I lost it and one of my bridesmaids took me out and got me drunk.
Fast forward to the wedding. The ceremony went off fine. At the reception we did assigned seating for family and the wedding party. We placed my FIL at a table with his own siblings (aunts and uncles of the groom), my MIL at a table with her siblings and mother, and literally the same for my parents.
As receptions would have it, we walked around before and after the meal and talked with people. Then the dance.
Shortly after the meal my BIL noticed their dad hightailing it out of the reception for his car. We didn’t know about this until the next day.
When we got home we found a card and FIL was gone. The card was mean. It went on and on about how he didn’t feel welcome at the wedding.
They never spoke again.

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It in fact does not get better with MIL’s and SIL’s. They just find new shit to complain about each time :roll_eyes: Godspeed

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I don’t understand why you just didn’t let her get up and embarrass herself let her make a fool of herself big deal

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Set boundaries early.
Seems you guys have a good grip on that.
Best of luck.

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It was your day. There is no need to explain yourself. Parents sometimes have a way of over stepping . I had to learn that with my daughter. They have their own life and children. She did not have the right to infringe on that. She missed your celebration. That’s called all out wrong.

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Sounds like a narcissist, good luck to you! I don’t think it will get any better sadly with age or time.

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Oh boy I’m so very sorry but unless you set those boundaries now I can’t say ot will. She may been trying help but was told no and it should been end of.

My answer would be I’m sorry you feel like that however it was our wedding day and we did what we saw fit for our day and our way.

Qshe might just been overwhelmed

Good luck x

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You don’t owe her any apoly

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Oh boy. Bad news is it probably will not get better. Good news is at least your husband stands up to her.

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Nope…until she learns her place and learns to behave. That will hopefully happen if he tells her to act better .

You dont even wanna know!!! It’s his Mother though, so I’d let him handle her himself.

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This all seems petty on both sides . Also , why did your husband behave like this toward his sister ! That’s not exactly respectful!

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Honestly maybe all 4 of yall need family counseling. I mean MIL just basically lost her baby boy. The one that she raise, lost him to another woman. She prob just wanted to be involved. So what she wanted to make a toast with some horrible jokes. That probably would of been the highlight of the wedding js. As for the sister. Geeeez she was just tryna help yall and let yall enjoy your special day that u didn’t want ruined. I think all 4 of yall need to apologize for yall own actions and move on from there. Either forgive and forget or not be involved with the In laws.
I’m a single mom of 4 and man do I wish I had some sort of help sometimes. Yall two should be grateful that atleast ur sister was the only one who was willing to help with ur kid and that mommas loosing her child to another women . Have u seen the movie monster in law… js

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Nah you owe her nothing my dad done the same thing kicked off and went home the day was better because of it just remember the good :slightly_smiling_face:

a lot of the time it does if you just deal with the crap and move on but DO NOT let her walk all over your family preferences. i’m worried abt mine and we’re not even engaged yet.

His mother let him handle it…stay outta it …or you will be the bad guy in the end

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You dont owe them anything Thay was a day for you two . If she was that upset she should’ve stayed home. Your husband sounds like he enjoys being a dad . He told her he had it and she went to pout to mommy like a kid Keep your boundaries don’t let yhem bully you and Congratulations on the wedding

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I think she got upset cuz she is a mom and you might get embarrassed by her but she wanted to say something for your wedding I’m sure people who know you guys probably know how his mom is and knows she would embarrass her and you guys my best friends mom was like that and everyone who knew her knew it was just crazy Lori and she just wanted you guys to not have to worry about your kid on your wedding day I know on my wedding day it was so nice everyone else taking my kid and now with 4 kids if someone offers to take care of my kids I’m more then happy to be like yesss take them pleasssseeee. They just wanted to be helpful.
But I really think you both were harsh on his mother honestly. I think you should talk and tell her you recognize she was just trying to do something nice for you guys.

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It sounds to me as if she was trying to feel included in her son’s wedding and was trying to take the stress off of you and your husband on your wedding day by helping with her grandchild :woman_shrugging:t3:. If you can’t suck up a few moments to let her crack a few jokes and give a minute or two speech, which I’m sure would have made her day, then maybe it isn’t her that’s the problem. Just like a father gives his daughter away on her wedding day, a mother is also giving her son away. The brides mother gets to go dress shopping usually but what does the groom’s mother help with? Not much. They also want to feel included. Just because he got married doesn’t mean it is all about you now. What if your child dropped you and chose a spouse over you and called you embarrassing?

Tell her to build a bridge and get over it!

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You definitely pulled a doozy for a Mother in Law (MiL). I think it is wonderful that your husband sees things as you do. This bodes well for your marriage even if things never get better with your MiL.

You do not owe your MiL an apology. This was your and your husband’s special day, not hers. You two are the parents of your little girl. Your MiL and SiL should not be questioning your husband’s (or your) parenting skills.

You two did nothing wrong. Let your MiL come to her senses. If she raises the issue or makes a comment about your wedding, you could come up with a comment such as ‘It was nice that you were able to join us for our wedding’ or We certainly enjoyed our special day’ or ‘Thank you for offering to help at our wedding. It was nice to see how much you care.’ Or something that lets you make a comment you feel ok saying but doesn’t let the battle continue.

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I don’t believe children should attend weddings, its a long day, its boring for them and it’s unfair to them! Mother in-law sounds like a nut job, let your hubby handle his sister and mother

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Uh… probably not. This one sounds like a doozy. I don’t get the resentment about the new hubby wanting to take care of his own child. She was obviously a little out of sorts. Maybe she didn’t want to be palmed off on someone else. As for MIL making a bad toast, I’m sure that’s not the first or last time one of those has been passed over. Has everyone forgotten that the couple is not trying to be bridezilla or groomzilla here? They are just having their wedding and reception celebration as a newly married couple. This isn’t being rude, just trying to have a good day.

You don’t owe her an apology, it is yours and your husband’s day… Butttt I personally would have had someone take the kids home at an hour in as weddings are too much for kids.

Sometimes you just get a rotten egg. Sounds like your husband understands that. If it’s nasty already it’ll get worse from here if you and hubby let it. Don’t let it.

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She’s nuts. I’d be proud to have raised such a responsible son

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His mum let him handle it. Honestly, I would say that till she is ready to stop throwing a tantrum over not getting her way that I wouldn’t be contacting her.

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