My husband and I just bought our first home together and we really want to host Easter dinner…the issue is…my mother in law thinks she has to control every single holiday and I have always kept the peace…but now that we are in our own space i would love to host…she just told me that if i did she wouldnt come and would make a huge deal of it, still host at her house AND MY HUSBAND WOULD BE GOING TO HER HOUSE AND NOT STAY WITH Me…YES she really said that…I dont know how to get him to see her controlling way.s…he wants to jusst do it at her house so he doesnt make her mad…hes disregarding all of my feelings…waht do i do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My mother-in-law will not let me host Easter
So do it a diff night
Claim next year now. Or claim a different upcoming holiday
I’d say that’s fine if you’d like to host Easter but the next holiday get together I’d like to host and try to compromise
Do yours the day before or something.
Invite your family and friends to your Easter and if your husband goes to his Mothers then I feel like he doesn’t respect your feelings.
Don’t let her. It’s your decision not hers.
You could do another one a different night or put your foot down. It’s hard to break family traditions for some people but okay to make new ones too. Could you maybe alternate years hosting? Or even alternate hosting holidays? Congrats on the new home!
Let her do Easter. She might need to get used to the idea of sharing. Maybe ask her can the two of you host together the next holiday at your house.
Host your own…you and hubby and have friends over and close friends
Ugh. MILs are the best aren’t they. I’m not built to give in. She woulda hated my ass from the start. I’d say do it the day before or after but again…we don’t cater to assholes over here so I’d do it when I wanted and if she and your husband wanted to spend it together so be it. I’d be finding a husband with a backbone though. He’s an adult. He could say “No mom we want to do this and we want you there but if you don’t come you don’t”. That’s just me though.
I agree with others do it another day. This might be something she likes to do and enjoy it now because one day she’ll be gone and y’all will wish you had those moments again!
She sounds childish and villain. Do it anyway. Why would you let her control you and dictate you what not to do or what to do. That shiiit isn’t gonna work on me
Do 2 easters… one with your family and the friends you all have together as a couple at your home on the day before or the day after and then allow your mil to do her Easter and allow your husband to go to her house .
Have your own Easter with your people. Allow MIL to do her. If your husband is smart he would want to have his own holiday at his own home. MIL will just have to learn to deal
You just tell her she’ll sure be missed and you have it at your own house do not ever let somebody control you
Do a separate dinner another night or just flat out don’t go to hers
Do it a different night
I would let her host it I would eat gather my things an go home allow her to clean up the mess herself
Same situation over here!! Gurss who we had Easter with last year??? Ourselves and guess how much fun we had!!! Tons!!! Screw them!!!
If he not going to stand up to his mother than he is not worth it.
That’s a no brainer . Do what you want to. It’s your house. Not hers . Tell hubby to split it for peace sakes . MIL ain’t the boss of your house or roost . Head mama chicken is the boss of her own nest !
Let him go and pick her all he wants and when he loses you it will be all on him not you.
I would host anyway. If your husband goes there maybe he shouldn’t be your husband
Do it anyways y’all can go to both and don’t invite her to yours or claim it for next year
Celebrate at your house
Congrats on new place
Host another day or take Thanksgiving/Christmas
Pick and choose your battles. Someday she won’t be able to host…maybe wait till then and keep the peace. Instead of hosting Easter host a house warming party and out do her on the hosting!
Does it HAVE to be Easter? How long has she been hosting Easter? I compromised with my mom; she does Easter and 4th of July and I do Thanksgiving and Christmas
I’m sure your husband just wants to “keep the peace”.
Took me a few years, but realized my son has his own family now and spent 30 easters with me. Now he has his own home and 2 children. So I had to swallow my pride and see their side of it. They have children they want to make memories with…so…I now get the day before and ya know what I am very happy about that. I still get to have everyone at my house….bend…but never break
That is called a selfish mother-in-law and controlling
Do a brunch and she can do dinner.
I would do it the weekend before let her have Easter… if she’s not alright with it that’s not your problem
Let her do it, she can clean up then
Throw that whole family away
Just let her have it. You’ll have your turn to play hostess
Host it at your house at a different time. Thing is it’s his mother. You may not always get along but he’ll only have 1. Besides its alot of work so with me I’d just let her lol
Do yours the night before at your house
Compromise. If she has hosted the holidays for as long as you have been with your husband, then it’s a family tradition. Don’t take those for granted. So, compromise. I’m sure that you have family also, so host Easter dinner on Saturday at your home and invite both families, then spend Easter Day between both of your families homes. It sounds like she came across a bit crazy over the whole thing, but if preparing the holiday dinners for the family is her tradition, she most likely enjoys it.
Call her bluff. Host it. She doesn’t come, it’s her loss
Hopefully he sees it now. Maybe she would be open to trading off hosting and she could catch a break.
Host your own event with your family and friends. Your husband should absolutely stay with you. If not, might be time to get a husband who puts you first instead of his mommy.
Sounds like you are married to a mama’s boy. Ask him who is more important. He vowed to put all others aside and put you first.
He needs to have a talk with his mom and come to a compromise but definitely neither one of you should disrespect each other or it puts him in a bad place. If she does not budge then maybe things can escalate to the next level because it cant be one sided
Ummmmmm… if this is legit… you put your fucking foot down. Sorry. I put up with the same shit in a way… and if he wants to continue kissing his moms ass and she makes you feel less than… tell him step and go live with mommy. You don’t need a mommas boy and her taking control of your house… cause that’s what she’s trying to do. So host your Easter at your house and enjoy those that come to celebrate with you. Sorry not sorry.
Have yours another Day!
He needs to stand up to mom, unless he had not untied the apron strings. Have your dinner at your house if she does not come it is on her
She can’t control you. Host anyway without her being involved and you’ll have a better time. Invite your family and friends and let your husband know he has a decision to make and he better choose wisely lol.
I would just do it at your house see if your husband can stand up to her
Have your family at your house and immediately announce to everyone the next celebration (whatever that is) will be at your house. Plenty of time for adjusting
Let her have Easter, claim Christmas.
Sounds like my mother in law. Stand up to her, my mil was staying with us and her and I got into it I told her she needed to leave and she told me that she wasn’t going anywhere because her son would not make her or choose anyone over her. Well guess what my husband told her she needed to leave and she actually started to respect me
Just let her have it. Karma bites people like that. One day she will be dead and you can host.
I just wouldn’t go. If he wants to act that way and always do what his mother wants and not stand up for you then there is something really wrong there.
I would have it my house and tell her to kiss my ass she is selfish and I wouldn’t invite her she is absolutely rude
Host it at your house. Tf? whoever comes comes. I’m sure other family members would love a different scenery plus I’m sure your side of the family and friends would come.
Host for your family and she can host for hers…
Go to her party get pissed! Don’t help clean up
I would just stay home and do it home and invite whoever you want … holidays used to cause so much stress when my daughter was a baby then I started making a meal at home every year and telling people we may stop by but don’t worry about us either way because I’m cooking at home
congrats, and let her mess up her own kitchen and dining room. You have a momma’s boy man child.
OK you know what I would just hold my own party whether she comes or not he cares and your husband needs to be there with you to support you.
I say let her hosr Easter keep the peace. She won’t be around forever. And throw a big summer bash to celebrate your new house.
Either compromise by having yours the day before or maybe try to reason with her and say you are offering up your home for the holiday and that you’d love for her to help show you the ropes of Easter dinner. I feel like if you make it like she’s doing you a service maybe that would make it a smoother conversation?
Tell him it’s either me or your mother
Wait til she dies or divorce him…lol
Just have a gathering at your house and invite her and everyone else you want to invite she will either come or she won’t.
I would go. So much is changing for the mother in law, and this is one thing she has control of—or thinks she does anyway. Life is too short. Let her have this one thing.
What you allow is what will continue.
I’d start my own tradition. And host anyway. She can accept it or not.
You do it at your house…I went through the same thing…she will get over it…and if not… that’s on her…For YEARS I did the same thing…always went over her house…then it was TOO BAD…So sad…lol
You call YOUR parents and invite them to your new home for dinner let the pussy mamas boy go and have yourself a wonderful time with your own family
I have a sister like this. I regret not standing up for myself sooner. Do what you want for you and your family. Create your own traditions. They don’t need to control every holiday.
Go to hers, eat and enjoy, less stress! Lol
In all honesty run run now because it’s not gonna get any better that’s with my mother is
Are children involved?? If so, think of them first. Whichever way you decide
U must be that submissive wife. Pull her together. Might lose ya man or it might spark something in him he never seen in you.
I have Impulse disorder. Still separated I was her son match.
You should go to her home.
You don’t have to cook or clean… What’s the problem
Same issue here with my mother in law. She thinks she has to have control and always plans everything her way her place. This year we are doing our own family Easter plans. Just my husband and all 7 of our children.
Just host your own thing at your house, stuff her.
I am thinking- pick a different holiday. She isn’t going to be around forever and it won’t hurt you to host a different holiday
Go to hers, have one at yours with your own family & friends, no need to invite or tell her … have fun!!!
Ummm So why not schedule one for Brunch and one for dinne or the day before??? What’s the issue here? Do you not ever make anything the day before to leave just a few items to make on Easter? Whats the big deal here ?
Make it an Easter weekend, and host a dinner/event on Saturday. I found after my divorce it’s really not about what day you celebrate with kids/family it’s about being together, and enjoying it. If she has a fit over that, and doesn’t come there’s a lot more issues.
Did you marry him or him and his mother ?
You have two options: a) host a different holiday b) host earlier (like the day before or even brunch).
It’s so tricky because you want to keep the peace, but also be able to do your own traditions with the family you and your husband create. The precident needs to be set early, especially with holidays and extended families. It can get crazy going to 2+ parties for one holiday. So…the next BIG holiday is the 4th, so BBQ and fireworks. Claim it now!! Then y’all will have to figure out Thanksgiving and Christmas (or unless you throw a Halloween Party). Plus, with Christmas you can divide it into Christmas Eve maybe with her and Christmas at your house that way it allows you to set your own traditions. You also have your own extended family to consider and share holidays with. Your husband needs to back up whatever decision y’all decide.
Do it the day before Easter and go all out! Make sure your party is better!
I’m a tad evil, when it comes to people trying to control me. Or you could be nice, let her have Easter and you claim Mathers Day. Say you want to make her feel special.
I would go to hers , let her do all the stress of preparing and cleaning up afterwards.
Honestly, I see this as a win. Let her do it and have the clean up and alternative is you throw a house warming shortly after.
Let her. She won’t be here forever… sincerely from some one that lost my mom and wishes she was still here being all controlling and stuff
Great, sounds like Easter at your home will be more enjoyable without MIL there anyways!
Start your own traditions. If she comes good if not good. Tell your husband to grow up and be a man and tell his Mom to please come and enjoy a stress free day. She can enjoy not having to clean up after anyone.
Do your own thing, you’re a an adult, not a child and you don’t have to accept bs like that from another grown adult. I treat accordingly.
When I was growing up, holidays were always at grandmas house. Aunts and uncles moved and it was still always at grandmas house. I think she’s acting like an ass, but I would suggest hosting a dinner some other time. I know that may seem like giving in, but keeping the peace and tradition is kinda nice.
Now that I’m grown, we typically have family holidays at my house. But any time someone wants to host, I say yes please!!
Maybe you can host an Easter egg hunt/dinner on Saturday! Then still do her house on Sunday.
Do not go to her house give your husband an ultimatum do it at your house or he can stay with his mother
Keep the peace it’s always better in the long run thats what I’ve learned. You could always do something earlier with your immediate family.￼￼
Have your own dont worry about her, life will be difficult sometimes so dont deny yourself what you deserve
Plan Easter for you and your loved one. If your husband chooses to LEAVE his house to go to his mother’s, make sure he packs a bag lols