Sounds like lots of anger. Passed that now be the bigger you put your big girl pants on make a visit to your mom’s with your baby. Let her get acquainted with your child. Nicely remind her she was the one who made those decisions for her kids and unless you are truly putting your child in danger she needs to be the grandma not the mom. Tell her you do love her. Don’t make it a longer visit than needed. Do it again… she will come around.
You are not wrong in any way whatsoever! She would have to go by my rules concerning my baby or else! She’s trying to dictate how your child is to be raised without any regard to you and your husband. Put her in her place now and stand firm! Good luck!
Your the baby’s parents. You have every right to decide what is best for your precious baby. If your mom treats you like this now will she treat her granddaughter the same way when she is grown and married and not abide by her rules?? If she wants to see her gd she needs to come to your house and see her!! God Bless you all🙏🏼
No you’re a family, your husband, you and your child. You get to choose who you want in your child’s life, not your mother. She’s being controlling, selfish and manipulative. Unless she accepts all of you ,there is no relationship. It’s sad, but maybe she’ll come around if you put your foot down now. Good luck!
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As a Mother/Grandmother I think As Long as YOUR Child Is Safe and Well Protected YOU have Every Right to Decide Who What and When ANYONE Spends Time with Your child. Your Mother Doesn’t like Your Father’s Girlfriend…not her call…it’s up to You and Your Husband to Decide. Prayers for Wisdom and Strength in Raising Your Child
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Go with your heart. That gut feeling you will follow as you raise your little blessing. Supervised visits maybe best. A person who only thinks of themselves first will do that when the child is in their care too.
Your sister should respect your wishes and not get in the middle. You and your mom work out your issues soon, life is to short people are leaving everyday. Love, peace, forgiveness and joy come in the morning.
I’m sorry to hear this. You don’t need the added stress as a new mother. It’s hard enough without all this drama. You are not wrong. Your child, your rules. You need to do what is best for your family.
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As a mom and advocate for your child I would be careful. If your Mom is going to be so upset over you allowing your child to be around your Dad’s girlfriend. I can only imagine how she could hurt your relationship with your child, in the future. If she can’t be selfless for the sake of that relationship with her grandchild now. What else would she be controlling over (I do think it is ok to be respectful and try to negotiate terms you can both live with like… maybe we can do??? (Fill in the blank) on this special occasion and you, Mom do not have to be around anyone who might cause you pain. But you can start this new tradition with me and your granddaughter… As for me; I don’t know. No one has the right to judge. Relationships with mother’s are special and hard when there are issues. Do the best you can and protect you, your daughter and husband. Just do your best and what is best for the child.
Your mother is broken. It sounds like your daughter has a happy, healthy, loving home. Why bring ‘broken’ around her. I had to walk away from some family when my children were little. I decided my kids were not going to around ‘broken people’ and stop the cycle. It sounds like you are protecting your daughter. Now that is unconditional love. On behalf of your daughter, “thank you”. 
Until the age of 18 YOUR Mom needs to deal With you to be in your child’s life. You r ur child’s number one provider n protector n if ur mom wants to be in ur child’s life she needs to humble herself n keep peace if she is really being sincere
Your mom needs to grow up and keep her and your father’s relationship to themselves. This can’t be a healthy situation for your daughter to have to visit your mother on the side without you and her father being involved and I wouldn’t even consider it. Why expose your daughter to an unnecessary toxic situation
I do not have a relationship with my sister anymore really. We don’t talk at all. We still allow each other to see each other’s children, but we have established a level of cordialness where we can communicate about the children. I would not feel comfortable allowing my child to go with a person who refuses to speak to me. I need to be able to check on the welfare of my child at any given time.
Looks like the issue here is…your Mother is deeply hurt that your Father has brought in a replacement for her and She has been taken to your heart and family’s hearts…Maybe…reaching out to your Mother. Acknowledging her hurt and pain and maybe come up with a plan for her to visit you and your child…without an ‘‘audience’’ watching her every move…to start with…keeping conversation light…show that you are making an effort…if this works…great…if not…im very sorry that you are going to miss out on her involvement…advice and help…and your child not knowing her Biological Maternal Grandmother xxx good luck…
Personally no. You and your husband created that beautiful baby and you have the right as the mother to choose who you let around your baby or not. Her wanting a relationship with her granddaughter starts with wanting a relationship with you as well, at least a mutual pleasant one. I would hate to know what she is saying to your daughter about you behind your back and I would be scared that would hurt the relationship you will have with your daughter in the future. Best of luck and remember you are her mama and her protector so trust your gut
Sounds like your Mother needs to grow up. You are not wrong. I feel sorry for your Mom that she will miss having a relationship with her granddaughter over her jealousy. I hope she changes her mind and comes to her senses. I can’t even imagine not being part of my grandchildren’s life. Good luck to you.
Also, my son’s father has an AWESOME girlfriend. I trust her with my son’s life. We get along great and we have a lot of love between us all.
Your Mother is wrong. Your baby is too precious and too young to be taken out of your care. Your Mother’s attitude make her lose out on a precious relationship. Not your problem.
It’s your way not grandma’s way. Your the mom. I sure wouldn’t let anyone even my sister to take the child just to see her. She needs to understand she can’t tell you how to parent your family. It’s time for grandma to keep her mouth shut. Get over herself.
No way, so sad that your mom is being a child. She is going to miss out on being a granny. Stick to your guns you are the mom,your decision
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So my perspective is i dont care if your in my life if you like me if you hate me, what ever. But you do have to respect my authority as mother. If you cant respect my rules or guidelines i have put into place for my childs benefit, then why would i trust you alone with my child.
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You are not wrong your mother is apparently your father has moved on so she needs too as well.
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I don’t want to sound harsh, but…YOUR MOM IS MENTAL. Don’t let ANYONE bring your baby to her, because this is one of the strangest and most dodgy things I’ve ever read. If she’s capable of the kind of weirdness you wrote about, who’s to say what she might do to or with your child in revenge? I’ve heard of looney grannies getting a baby’s ears pierced or hair cut or even BAPTIZED without the parents’ permit. You and your baby are a PACKAGE DEAL.
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So your Mother wants to start teaching your daughter about holding a grudge and using innocent people to help her do it?! Your Mother needs to grow up, and move on. If she wants a relationship with her daughter and granddaughter! Talk about self absorbed and selfish, not to mention hurtful to all. Good luck
I would ask your sister what her intentions were to even get in the middle of the situation. If my mom asked that I would tell her to get over herself and speak to her other daughter as it is her child
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Mom’s out, horrible way to act towards her own daughter, sorry not seeing my baby either…I wouldn’t let my mom see my kids if she couldn’t communicate with me. Period. Mom needs to grow up.
Not wrong! My mother wanted the SAME thing! To be in her grandkids lives, but ONLY if I agreed to live my life the way she wanted. It’s been 10 yrs. My daughters have no idea who she is. We havent spoken a word to eachother and I don’t feel bad about it.
You do not need all these people validating your decision…go with your heart and your gut. This is your child and your life and mama has to abide by your terms. She must decide what is really Important here.
She needs to talk to you and dad, bc if you let her get your daughter and something happens she has to call you. Plus if she can’t be mature enough to keep a relationship with you and your husband than she can’t be trusted to not talk bad about you two to your daughter.
You are far from wrong. Your mother sounds like a master manipulator. Stay far, far, away from her because she’ll do to your daughter what she’s done to you.
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Your Mother is wrong…If she has a problem with you and her son’in’law She really has a problem…No I don’t think you should let your sister be thre messenger
I as a Mother,If my Mother didn’t communicate with me or my husband,I would keep my baby totally away from her…If and when you Mom changes her mood or mind,maybe then she might be welcome at my home to see her grandchild. Sometimes the hurt goes to deep. Sometimes things can’t be repaired…Then everyone loses
Oh no! I hate this for all involved. It would probably do your mom a load of good to hold that precious baby but not on her terms. She seems very spiteful and and seems to have spited herself in the process. I know you care or it wouldn’t even be a thought but do not give in. She is your mother and if she chooses to miss out on you and your daughter bc of her exes girlfriend then that’s on her!!! Prayers for all involved. Why not reach out to her? Maybe try to set up a meeting with just you, her, and your daughter. I’ve seen babies melt the coldest hearts before. She sounds stubborn but so do you. Lol Just don’t give in unless it’s on mutual terms. Good luck
I HAVE WALKED IN THESE SHOES.
STILL THERE 10 YEARS LATER.
There is no good answer.
I took the stance of: If she wants to see the baby she doesn’t have to have a relationship with you, but she must respect you and be able to be cordial in your presence while she visits on your terms.
My MIL has no contact with my husband, me, or my children for many years. (Due to a strained relationship after she divorced his father)
Your child, your terms,be nice but set limits,
Allow the relationship if the limits are followed
If she is petty enough to act the way she is currently acting, she will be petty enough to badmouth you throughout your daughters life. She has ABSOLUTELY no right to say who can/cant, should/shouldnt, or will/wont be in your daughters life. That right belongs to you and your husband…no third party input required. To be a grandmother requires being a mother first…if she has rescinded her mother title, she also gives up any claim at the grandma title. Its that simple.
Sad that there will be no relationship with your child whatever the circumstances. How grandparents can hurt a child is unbelievable to me. Childish behavior for sure. I’ve seen the same situation happen from someone who claims to be a Christian. They claim only the ones they want and could care less about 2 beautiful granddaughters. Judgement day will reveal all.
Your absolutely correct to feel that way because what if something happens to the baby and she gets sick or something your mom isn’t going to call you right away that’s not ok tell ur sister to tell ur mother to grow up if she wants to be around ur child
It sounds like the daughter has no respect for the woman that raised her. Or her feelings.
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Nope!! Its one thing if you just dont mutually get along, but you feel shes a great grandmother. Then you consider both sides.
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If she can’t communicate with you and your husband I sure wouldn’t trust her with my baby. What if something happens to your baby while in her care what are she going too do. I am sorry but you are not wrong I didn’t trust many people with my baby anyway but I sure wouldn’t trust my baby anyone who had a problem with me too much is happening to babies these days.
You are not wrong! If your mother has a problem with your rules and your husband’s rules pertaining to your baby, then she does not have the right to be in your daughter’s life. You don’t need that kind of drama in your life. God bless you, your husband and your daughter!
Follow your gut and if your not comfortable then NO I wouldnt. How could you be comfortable not knowing if she’s safe or happy being there, prayers for you to make the right decision for you not your mom.
She doesn’t sound stable. From what you say she is bitter about her x’s relationship. I would not want someone like that around my child. Mother or not. She needs to work through her anger and bitterness.
Never ever in a million years would I allow anyone to bring my baby to a woman who is so callous to me. Make your own life with your husband and child and let her be. She does not deserve to be a grandmother if she does not want to have respect and love fir her daughter
Absolutely not! I am a grandmother and I could not ever consider doing that. Your baby is only 15 weeks old. You and your husband are responsible for who is in her life and the influence that they have. I’m sorry but your mother needs to grow up.
Something is not right. Trust your motherly instincts and I recommend for your mom to put her big girl pants and everyone to resolve their issues. You don’t want your child around drama like that. Trust me… I come from extremely toxic grandmothers. I know 
You aren’t wrong, but unless you take the first step to heal your relationship with your mom…you, her AND your daughter lose!
Take the high road, take your daughter and go visit your mom. Let her know you love her and want her in your life and that of your daughter. (You May even want to let her babysit while you run to the store). It might be best to leave all disagreements and hurts in the past. Start anew.
Don’t even begin having “visitation “ drop off. Do see if mom can help you at your house or hers. Let her be needed.
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I’m all about allowing people to be in your child’s life because there is nothing bad about having more people to love them. But… if your mom isn’t willing to have a relationship with you then no. It would be different if she was your ex’s mom but not your own. If she wants to be in your child’s life she needs to figure out how to be in your life as well.
Oh hell no! She doesn’t respect you as the child’s parents and expects to make decisions for you? Now wants to circumvent a relationship with you in order to have access to her grandchild? I repeat- oh hell no! If she is too petty to come to you herself and think it makes sense to demand, thru other people, access to your child without you would be a firm no for me. Tell those intermediaries that thus conversation will be ignored and if they feel the need to meddle, then they can take a message back to your manipulative mother - until she respects you as an adult and your right to determine who your child will and will not have a relationship with, then any access to your child will not happen. If you don’t stand up here, she will steamroller you and will do what she can yo undermine your relationship with your own child.
No, she’s being jealous and petty because of the hurt that she feels from her marriage failing. It’s sad but she doesn’t need to worry about your dad’s girlfriend, just about her relationship with you and your family, not just your daughter.
No that’s your child your the parent not her. Her role is grandma and she should act like it. She’s the one missing out she will realize that eventually and get past her selfish reasons. Because the relationship between her and your dad didn’t work out she’s punishing you also for it. Maybe she needs counseling
You are most definately not wrong! I wouldn’t let my child spend time with someone who wanted nothing to do with me either. Your mom needs to learn how to respect you and your husband as parents and people first, then I would consider letting her take your child.
As a grandparent myself , I prefer to stay out of my children choices for a partner. Yes I have my thoughts and opinions however as an adult I choose to keep that to myself. My grandchildren are for me to enjoy time with and parents are excluded…So said if a parent can’t be there for their child and said child has to go thru someone else to be a go between for communication it has all the ear marks of toxic outcome. Children should be able trust the adults in their life. Be love and nurtured while growing up. If you can’t for whatever reason see your parent giving your child/children a nurturing/loving fun filled time? Don’t!!! Personally I love blowing bubbles, we walk my dogs together, play in a park( we have several in my area) my ex-husband and wife have their time with the grandchildren too. And yes we all spend the holidays together for children and grandchildren. A couple of hours together doesn’t kill us and we make memories together for our grandchildren sake… family first… if your mom is going thru anyone else to see your child? Don’t do it if your gut is telling you not to.
Don’t regret not letting your child know her grandmother. All make mistakes…forgive and move on. Jesus keeps forgiving us.
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Does your mom not see the irony in this situation? Problems occurred because she wanted you to restrict your father’s girlfriend’s access to your daughter and you didn’t agree. Now she wants you to allow her access to your daughter, to which you don’t agree. Your child, your decision. But, life is too short. Try to make peace with your mom. However, if she doesn’t want a relationship with you, I wouldn’t grant access to MY daughter. 
You are NOT wrong. I have a similar situation. My daughter’s baby is 7 months old. Been there since day 1. My daughter’s father, refuses to see his grandchild, because he’s upset with my daughter. We even went as far as bringing the baby 300 miles to see the baby and he made up some BS story why he wouldn’t see the baby! WTH. It has hurt the baby’s parents tremendously. Some people are just sorry SOB’s. Sorry for the cussing, but sometimes it just helps you deal. Your baby will have all the love and support he needs without her help. Be brave😍
If u don’t want a relationship with me, you can’t have one with my child. Lord knows what she would say in front of your child!! You are absolutely right.
Your mother sounds emotionally unstable at this time…she’s not handling her own life very well so I would not want my child alone with her until she solves her own issues and problems
Simple Truth is Do Not Allow her in your Child’s life if she has that attitude she isn’t a very good person…protect your child, your husband and yourself!!
My dad’s parents disowned me when I became pregnant (I was a teenager). But when my dad’s mom found out that my child had been born, she tried to be sneaky and find out what my child looked like but would never pick up the phone to apologize for the way she treated me or to ask me directly about my child. She died never have seeing or holding my child. Her loss. Pride can be a mutha…
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Effff no. I’ve had similar issues when my children were young.
If she wants a relationship with your child, she needs to make that effort and go about it the old fashioned way. I would never allow anything like that. Ever.
You are absolutely NOT WRONG! Your child equals your rules! She had hers. I do not interfere with my grandchild’s upbringing and only answer what I’m asked. I love them all!
If you and your husband are not comfortable with her than NO !!!
And if she doesn’t want to have a relationship with you. Your little girl is half you .
Stop this with her trust is important if you don’t have it she doesn’t have her.
Nope. Me and my mom don’t always see eye to eye on most things but because I do want my kids to know their grandmother we both put our differences aside for the kids. My mom has a boy friend I dont care for so them staying at her house wouldn’t be an option nor has she ever asked.
No, this is not safe for your baby. This is a way for her to interfer in your role as parents and is a toxic relationship. You have no idea what she would do or say to your child to turn the child against you. If she wants a relationship you need to inform her you are a package deal and will make all decisions on raising daughter. You are an adult and it is time she respects you as an adult. Your husband and child are your family now and all other relations need to respect your decisions.
I cannot imagine not being a part of my grandchildren’s lives, for any reason. My ex has a girlfriend who has been in his life for over 10 years, but he is still a big part of his grandchildren’s lives, and these grandchildren are his step-grandchildren. Be an adult grandma, the more people who love your children and grandchildren the better. I currently have a 19 year old grandson (our oldest), who is ADHD, and is having a very difficult time taking responsibility , but his grandfather has taken him in and helping him and I am eternally grateful. You are the parent, do what is best for your child.
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This is easy.
Your mother is a tyrant…her way or no way…sorry mom but you had your time to shine…this is your daughters right to say no when it comes to her baby. Stop interfering. I am the mom to twins and when they were little…I made it clear my word was law on how to raise my babies. Back off or you might lose both your daughter and grandchild unless you do. And sister…do yourself a favor…MYOB and stay out of this one or you will lose as you are in the middle
Nope I’ve learned to distance from toxic relatives. Now that my kids are older mosly grown its their choice but when they were little…
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That is a BIG NO to me if she can’t have a relationship with ME the baby MOTHER then she does not want a relationship with MY baby the mother and father are the ones who are responsible for raising their child
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no you are not wrong i would not do that with my child … and what ever the trouble is between you and your mom needs to be fixed if you can and if the trouble lays in her lap then she needs to grow up and get over it
My advice, no. Relationships with children involves the parents. It would be putting this child in the middle and there is NO way at some point there would be having to choose. That is why divorced parents need to keep communication open, so kids are not in an uncomfortable place and made to choose. Your mother needs to grow up.
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I think it’s a package deal!! Where there is one…there is 3 forever, always, no bartering. If you do allow this, she will always put your spouse as a non entity…and why was it so easy to walk away from her child??? Set your boundaries and draw very firm lines on your family unit!!!
I would NEVER allow my children to be with someone who refuses to communicate with me. What happens if there is an emergency with the child (God and Heaven forbid!!!) Would she not get ahold of you? It would be a HARD PASS for me!
Nope. You are definitely not wrong. You are her mother she goes where you go. If she doesn’t want a relationship with you, then she has to accept the consequence of not having a relationship with your daughter. She can’t tell you that someone shouldn’t be around your daughter that’s not her place. Sounds to me she’s being vindictive.
Absolutely not! Your mom is acting like an entitled, controlling ass! Until she learns to honor your wishes and respect you when it comes to YOUR child, don’t have her in your life or your daughters life. Just because people are family doesn’t give them a free pass to act like an ahole.
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Please! Your not even talking to me. Hell naww! Let her keep that same energy. No side messages from anyone. Do what makes you comfortable
Your Mother needs to be happy that everyone loves her baby granddaughter!She should be happy to have a beautiful Innocent baby granddaughter! Divorce is difficult, but, Mom get over it! Be happy you were allowed! To be a part of your Granddaughter life! Maybe the new Girlfriend is a lot nicer than you! Apologize to your Daughter and your Son-In-Law! Because, we never know how life will change! Just look at 2020!
No! You are right, your baby is your daughter and you can allow who ever to see her. Your mom made her choice. Since she communicate with you, don’t let her in. Communication is key in all relationships. No second or third parties. It has to be you and your husband that she needs to talk to, not your sister nor others.
No, if she can’t have the decency to try to reconcile with her own child she can’t be trusted with her grandchild. Don’t trust someone that sick and twisted with the care YOUR defenseless baby. She doesn’t deserve an explanation either, she made the choice already.
No way!. If she wants to be in your daughters life then she will make it happen by coming over and spending time with her and mending fences with you. She doesn’t get to tell you that your dad and his SL can’t be in yours or the babies life. She’s going to need to get over it or risk losing you both
Forget it. I would not send my kid anywhere. She’s not even 4 mos old. Grandma needs to grow up. Unless there’s a specific reason to be concerned about the safety of you and your daughter, your mom can stick her opinion about the girlfriend. It’s up to you who is allowed to be around you and your child.
Can’t imagine giving up a relationship with my child over my ex’s gf being around them. They don’t have to visit at the same time but mom has no right to tell you who comes around your family. It might hurt her to know the gf is there but it will hurt worse to lose her family.
Don’t do it, your child’s well-being far exceeded your mother’s desire to see her grandchild. My dad tried that and when he realized it wouldn’t work he let us come in with our son and our relationship was mended. He loved his grandchildren very much
Heck no. That’s absolutely ridiculous. You’re the parent. Your decisions, your rules. And, make sure she doesn’t see that baby or form a relationship with her on her terms because if she does, depending on the state your in, she can file for grandparent’s rights.
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That is a sad situation I believe your mother has a controlling spirit and you and you husbend need to handle this together , You say to your mother I love you and I would love for you to be part of our baby’s life but that would include my husbend and my self!! AnD my father will also ne part of her life!! A child can never have to much love!
Sorry, grandma needs to take a back seat! Too many horror stories start like this. Your baby and hubby are your family. Jmo
In my opinion this is your child , you should protect her no matter what. Drama, negativity, toxic situations. If your wishes aren’t are to keep all of that away then you are doing the right thing. Your rules, your love , your daughter.
NO ONE WOULD TAKE MY CHILD TO VISIT A FAMILY MEMBER, who wanted nothing to do with me! And I WILL decide who can be around my child. You are in the RIGHT, do not feel guilty or whatever about her not seeing your child. SHE MADE that decision!
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Nope. I went through this with my x husbands family. They wanted to tell me what to do. How to do it. When. To do anything. And that I should leave my baby with them. It wasn’t until my kids were old enough to understand right from wrong and speak for themselves that I let them go to their dads parents house without me. But an infant. Hell no. The can wait until the baby is a tween and wants to have that relationship. My mother doesn’t have a relationship with me or my kids Bc she told me when I was pregnant I wasn’t welcomed to the house Bc I was pregnant out of wedlock. And she just shunned me after that. And so did my grandmother. And my kids are her first born great grandchildren. So. You are not doing anything wrong. And don’t let anyone try to guilt trip you
Wow. The sister who wants to sneak your baby over there wouldn’t be in the baby’s life either. Not sure if I read that right, but no. Granny can see the baby with you or not at all.
Why would you ever want to expose your child to such negativity…Have you thought about what your mother would be telling your child about her mother and father as she gets older. You are her parents and no one is going to raise her but you.Raise her with your morals not your mothers.
You are not wrong. You have to set the boundaries and expectations. That is your child and just because your mom may be a tad jealous, my opinion only, she does not get to call the shots. I would not be comfortable with another family member taking my child over for visitation…that is not acceptable. She either comes to see your child at your house or you can visit her but either way, it at least involves her seeing you and your child. She needs to swallow some pride, show some maturity, and respect your rules.
Sometimes you just have to step away from your Mother. There should be unconditional love and no judgment on who or what she wants. That’s just messed up. I think you are doing the right thing.
My family wanted the same but we are a package deal and being alone she could feed your daughter things you don’t want her to hear, love is one things but emotional manipulation is abuse and trying to control your kids no way, God is the only one, she being childish.
You not wrong do what best for you and child if she can does not want talk to you both then no you both this child parent she has no right to tell you how to raise this child if any thing she respect your wishes I a gamma my kid has wishes I follow
You are absolutely right. If she really loved your daughter she would put aside her petty differences and be a part of your life also.
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It is not up to your mother to say who are you can I have your child around That is up to you and your husband she just does not want your father’s girlfriend to be a part of your daughters life but that’s on her that’s not on you you don’t have to let her go to your moms if you choose not to
She doesn’t have to be in your life to be in hers but she needs to at least be able to communicate with you and your husband and be civil. Like y’all dont gotta get along or wanna do stuff with each other. But she needs to talk to you still if she wants to be in her grandbaby’s life. That’s just my opinion. Me and my mom cant get along but we are civil for my kids.
You are not wrong. Stand your ground. No one would get my child after 12 weeks of totally ignoring her or me. How in the world would it be okay to have to explain to your child when she is older why grandma wants her but not her mommy??? Leave that can or worms closed my dear.
My thoughts are probably not the most popular but they are mine…if me and my husband are not good enough for you the neither is our child!!! You take all of us or nothing; it’s just that simple!
Boy, Dr. PHILL would love to work on your mom. She is wrong, and can not control your children. Does your sister have children also? We all have blended families, and she needs to act like an adult and work with everybody. Plus you do not want your child to learn if you don’t get your way then stomp your feet. She needs to understand she is missing out on your life. That has always been important to me, my children’s feelings are more important than me.