Keep her away from Gran!!She doesn’t deserve to see any of them. She’s gonna mess them all up emotionally.
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Wow how inconsiderate especially because she should completely understand the situation! Poor little girl😔
Bethany Pickering Whitten, I agree with you…the grandma should remember how her husband was a stepfather to her child… sad…
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Ur right… bonus children r wonderful… really not ur parents place to say anything
Its ur choice…
Family isn’t defined by blood…it’s defined by love
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I’ll be her new grandma
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Family is family no matter! I am so sorry for you and your daughter!
Sorry, your mom is toxic 
I have a granddaughter that isn’t my son’s but you better believe she has always been treated like she is. She calls us grandma and Pap. We love her. Blood doesn’t make a family, love does
Family is Family no matter how it happens.
I would tell her all of us or none of us…and mean every word!!
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You don’t have to be blood to love a child
Very difficult got to start deleting your your parents
Makes me wonder how she treats that little girl around the other kids …
Your mother needs lots of prayer and a wake up call!
Your mom needs help that is a child
I’d end ALL contact with your Mom!
I don’t even know what advice to give you.
Mom needs professional help. So much hate. Sad.
I would mainly be worried of how my child has been treated while in this ladies care and how this lady has influenced my other children. I think it would be in the best interest of all your children to find another sitter😢
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Your mom is totally wrong. Sad.
My mother only accepts my daughter she mistreats my boys
Pray for her but stand you re ground. Do not allow her to demonstrably love only some of f your children.
Bonus child ,love it!
Then I would ge her out of your life.
Your mother is out of line!
It sounds like your f#*#ing awesome and she’s not!
Just tell mom very nicely…see you latter
Talk very serious to your mother why would she
I understand, we went through this. If they don’t get a hold of this. Problems big time. That’s your child. Bless you 
Wowww that Grandma is toxic af! You don’t treat no child like that! When you marry or are in a relationship, those babies become your babies… she would be put on ice with that attitude!
Grandma and Grandpa are toxic and this is NOT a healthy place for your children to be.
Stand your ground. YOU were that “other kid” and Mom NEEDS to remember that. Until they can accept this child and realize their ugliness, they can’t be trusted around the rest of the kids. You don’t know what they are saying to the other children. Can’t chance it and that little girl NEEDS to know younare in HER corner and standing up for HER. She also needs to know that it isn’t HER…it is a narrow-minded and selfish set of grownups, who ARE acting mean-spirited and childish.
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I’m so sorry. My preemie baby, with CP, (she’s 25), was pretty much ignored by her grandfather. She wasn’t perfect. My family loved her from the beginning.
Mom needs to get a grip.
Your mom was wrong!!!
Keep your mom at arms length if she can’t act right! I understand she won’t be as fond of your bonus child as her biological grandchildren, but she can’t be mean to the little girl. That’s just not right .
Dont choose your step daughters feelings for your Moms. What a cruel and heartless thing to say. None of your kids should be subjected to someone who is that cruel. I would never let her babysit any of them!! She would have a door closed in her face. And I doubt it would ever be opened again. Shame on her!!!
I have a mil who told my wife they weren’t her kids. She has been in their lives for 4 years but according to her they aren’t her (my wifes) kids. I am so sorry you are going thru this it is ashamed people have to be dumb about things like this. They should be respectful of your family
Your mom is rude and mean, shame on her. Don’t allow her around your children if she can’t treat allot them the same.
Ask your mom…what the hell is wrong with you??!
This just proves blood doesn’t make a family, love and caring do. Someday your Mom will eat those words.
The title of mother does not mean you are a Saint. That being said you take the man you takes his kids you can’t commit your heart to the man if you don’t do the same to his children. If not consider yourself selfish and start your work from ther6my dear we as women can correct the wrongs of our own mother. Amen for you and thanks for standing for this child it will sooth her pain
Your mother does not need to accept anything beyond your bond with the “bonus child” but she should be reminded of the wonderful bond you and your step dad enjoy. Hypocrisy in family matters can be very petty and demeaning.
Your mother is not seeing it correctly. She looks at it like the girl has 2 parents. She is missing the point that you have a relationship with your stepdaughter and you live her as your own. She’s looking at it as if you were a babysitter. She needs to also remember that the girl is her grandchildren’s half sibling. She owes everyone an apology and maybe go get some counseling.
Your Mother is wrong. She should not hurt a 9 year old child’s feelings
She’s petty and ridiculous accept all or see none!
Cut grandma out completely.
Tell your mom and step dad you want nothing to do with them until they can accept all your kids. That will constantly hurt that little girl. They say it takes a villige to raise a child. Tell them you are that childs village.
Ur mother is rude childish and just plain mean.
I agree with all the comments! Shame on your mother!
Read the book boundaries. Bye bye! I’m sorry but that’s hateful. And if she can’t see it. Then it’s your job to protect your daughter from her. Bye bye.
Cut gramma off. Find a bonus gramma.
Grandma is toxic, and a hypocrite! I wouldn’t allow her around any of my children.
I read it all and can only say that for the sake of the children, y’all need professional help.
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I wouldn’t allow her in your life at all. She’s toxic to your family-All of your family since she’s doing that. She is teaching non-acceptance to all of your children. I know it’s hard, but you need to cut them out. You are showing your bonus child (all of them, but especially her) that it’s ok to have toxic people in your life that hurt you, because you love them. And that’s never ok. Your kids need to feel safe and loved, not just some of them.
You sound like a great mom but your mother is just mean and heartless.
Your parents are the total losers in this situation and when the day comes their other grandchildren realize how mean they truly are these grandparents will have no one who wants to spend time with them.
Sorry but your Mom is acting like a hypocrite.
Family isn’t just blood. Family is LOVE. Always.
She loses all kids, not worth the drama. I had the same situation
Be nice gramma they are siblings and your just causing trouble
Tell mom to go FCK herself and stay away until she gets a better attitude.
get rid of your mother.That literally is the most disgusting behavior.
Absolutely disgusting! She should treat your bonus child just like her other grandchildren. It’s no different than adopting a child. If my mom did that I’d cut her off so fast. Protect your daughter at all cost from that toxic person.
Cut your mother off! She’s toxic and would just make the situation worse each year that passes by! Imagine what she is feeding your others kids about their step sister!
She is toxic. Cut her loose. If you allow her time with your other children she will contaminate their thinking and behavior towards their sister. They will eventually begin to refer to this darling girl as “Not real family etc” Your mom will have a bad influence on your other kids. She is toxic and your children’s well being come first. They can live without a grandmother, they cannot live without their sister.
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Dont ask anything from her. Dont talk to her
My mom always included my older brother from my dad’s previous marriage in everything we did. family photos, holidays and vacations. His mom didn’t always let him go on vacation with us but I hope that she was happy we thought of him. My stepdad has never treated my older sister or I as less than just because he isn’t biologically related to us. This mother/grandmother is acing like a hypocritical b****. If her husband can treat her kids as his own, her daughter can do the same for her stepdaughter
Time yo teach her there are ignorant and stupid people in the world even though she is your mother. Tell her , your daughter, how much you love her, how much her siblings love her and that stupid people can not change your love and emotions for each other. Period. Oh, tell her she doesn’t have to interact with her either. I went through this with my daughter regarding my mother in law and her son is my daughters father and we were married.
I had the same question. Why was it ok for your step dad but not you? You’re supposed to treat your step kids like your own kids. Your mom is being ignorant and I wouldn’t want that around my kids. Sorry. But I’d find an alternative sitter. I wouldn’t want my mom poisoning my kids minds with such things. That’s sad
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Surprising that Mom is such a petty woman! If her husband had been a petty, miserable human being you would have had a sad childhood! Tell Mom that she won’t see any of the children if she can’t be respectful to all of the children! Stick to your guns!
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You are right in every way!! Keep up the good work momma. Give them an ultimatum, it’s either all or none. I know it’s hurtful but it’s mentally damaging to that little girl, she needs unconditional love from everyone in her life. Good luck!
You didn’t mention how she feels about your husband, her son-in-law. Couled her feelings toward him be the reason she is not accepting this child? Seems very out of character that she raised you with a step-father and isn’t accepting of your step-child. I would minimalize contact between her and all the children. Be polite, but move on. Your focus should be your children and husband now. 
Unfortunately, that would include finding a new babysitter or at least limiting the time the children are with her.
Omg that makes me so sad , I hate that !! My daughter goes though this she has a son before marrying the guy she’s with now and they had 3 more kids , his side always always always treat him like he isn’t there , they buy gifts send to house and they open in front of him nothing for him , my daughter told them they don’t get for all then do not send anything at all !!’ I do t know how the hell they can even do that !! You’re mom is horrible treating your bonus child any different !!if she can’t then she can’t be around your others !!! Tell her straight up you’re not letting her do that to this poor girl and she heard her !!! If she can’t do it then byyyyyy ! Treat them all the same end of story !! Go get them family pictures with all you kids !!! Good luck mama 
Your mother is a bitch! She is your child. I have a nine year old step daughter, she came into my life when she was 5. She’s mine. She lives full-time with me and I parent her everyday. My mother and sister took her on holiday during summer so she is very much accepted as mine, it’s exactly how it should be.
Let’s be clear here, your mother’s husband that raised you is your stepfather, he did not love or care enough about you to adopt you. You never shared his last name yet he was in all of your pictures. Maybe you should bring that to your mother’s attention since she has all this hate for an innocent beautiful child that she should have welcomed as her grandchild. If not cut her off you do not have to have a toxic mother in your life around your children that you love and who loves you in return. If she persists… Refer her to my first two sentences.
Cut her out of her life until she changes her tune. She is your child and you seeing her that way is amazing. Your mom needs to grow the fuxx up.
Your mom should have no say . You are a grown woman, stand your ground. If she does not help you out of kindness of her heart, she is a hypocrite. She owes that child an apology for her stupidity.
She’s being a hypocrite clearly and it’s mean and hurtful. Just ask her how she would like it if your stepdads family treated you like that. If she can’t understand then maybe she shouldn’t be around any of your kids. And since your stepdad is doing it too I’d tell him well than I guess we aren’t family either. See how they like that. Ugh this annoyed me so much.
The grandmother is a hypocritical bitch… this type of mentality screams I didn’t love your stepdad-just used him to raise you and that is what is happening to you by the birth mom of the “bonus child”
meanwhile scarring a child emotionally-like wow the kid probably thought this is grandma?why doesn’t she love me? Orrrrr a person like this does she even treat the kids equally when watching them - free babysitting might not be worth it just saying
Your mother is a cruel individual and ignorant. You are doing the right thing.
Your mother is a jerk. It’s all of your kids, or none of your kids. Take it or leave it. Her loss. None of your children need to be exposed to this toxic behavior. Take a stand for the 9 year old. Her future depends on it.
if you love them as your kids, then you keep on loving them, you can love step . or adopted kids just as much a the ones you give birth to,
The child of your daughter or son whether it be adopted, natural , or step is still your grandchild and should be treated that way.
It’s her loss. She would see all or none. Treat all the same or see none.
That is the saddest, most heartless thing I can imagine. How do you stand to allow this woman to have anything to do with the other kids is beyond understanding . I would cut her off from ALL OF THEM.
What a heartless witch!
Your mother is toxic and wrong. Cut ties for awhile. You need a break.
Cut her off until she complied with your say so. This Child is your family. Grandma needs to chill
Good for you for protecting your child. Bonus children and grandchildren rock
She’s wrong and I’d be pissed 
too!! She is your child and she needs to accept that !!!
Gramma needs a time out
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Cut her (mother) out of your life
Oh no. All or none, Gma. Not even sorry. Let her make her choice.
Cut her out of everything she will learn her lesson then.
Your mother is very selfish period.
Your Mother is mean.
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Sorry but your mom sounds evil!!!
I am a mom of 5. Four I birthed, one was born before I became her mom.
I had 3 daughter’s, fiance had 1 and we now have a son together.
Anyone disrespects ANY of my children and they are gone!! Stand up for your baby girl and cut ties with your evil mother!!! To be so cruel to a child is gross.
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Awful. Cut your mother off.
That’s so sad this child will remember this forever
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Cut ties with your mom no matter how hard it is to do so. She is toxic. I had to cut my father out of my life even though he’s the only parent I have left because he’s also a very toxic person. It’s hard on me but I made the right decision
Apparently YOU are a better mother than YOU have.
Your mom is a beotch.