She’s weird to allow a man to help raise you but have a problem when you do it? Imagine if your stepdad treated you like that? I wanna slap her cus wtf?
Your parents are despicable. Protect your family unit and ALL OF YOUR CHILDREN
That’s That’s toxic woman…that littl girl doesnt need to be subjected to the favoritism to the others by ur mom…I would keep.all.of ur children away from her so none of the kids get their feelings.crushed…I have a step.niece…I love that child since the day she came into our lives …she is not your child biologically…but she’s ur child you have had in ur life for yrs…she can’t accept.that…thats her loss
Shame on your mom!!!
You reap what you sew.
Saddest thing I read all day.
God bless you for loving her
I would cut her out of seeing any of the children maybe that will knock some sense into her head
Your mother is nothing but a rude bitch. How dare she, what a horrible person omg you poor thing. My 2 eldest aren’t my wife’s but by God to her they are her children. When asked how kids you have she always reply 4. A son 40 daughter 38 a daughter 28 a daughter 25. Makes me proud as punch
Prayers for you and your family.
You are absolutely stupid having another child
By blood or by choice your children are your children and if you have family who don’t agree they are the ones who aren’t real family
That is so sad and hypocritical
I would cut all contact!!
You are agreat person
Wow love all of your children unconditionally it’s not her fault your mom needs help how dare she ., god bless you have faith the lord well guid u 
That’s so sad. How hateful can she be.
Geez I’d cut her out of my life
Shame on your mother.
I would find a new person to watch them, the damage can’t be undone
Bitch bye. Grammar can be replaced
Listen to your mother, always
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So ugly of your mom!
Pack up, and move!! Take all your kids, and leave!!
get rid of both of them.
Nasty women!
Brave Mama!
Its a package deal, all or none.
You are a great mom keep up the good work 
That’s very sad and uncalled for
Shame on your mother!
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What a horrible excuse for a grandmother
Ya mama ain’t shit‼️
slap her. that’s how we did it in ancient china.
Blessings on U n Christ Jesus name Amen nd Amen 
I myself kno the Feelings💙
Yur Familiy…U Do whatever nd @l nd everything 4 Yur Family Happiness with Positivity Truth Respect Peace Peace Harmony Luv nd Lite:blue_heart:
Cut out the toxic 
OK…thank you very much
Keep loving her as your own just like you always have.
Have been the Mom with the bonus child that got treated differently by my Mother in Law. My son knew who loved him unconditionally.
You did good. No more speaker call with her. She clearly needs boundaries and filter.
Keep putting your foot down.
Oh hellz no! I think its time to take a break from your mom. Sorry but that’s so immature of her…
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they’re both hypocrites… I bet your mom was singing a different tune when she was dating & made sure your step dad treated you like his own. anyways just stay away. I wouldn’t trust them around the baby anyways. adults who are mad at children for no reason or treat them differently in your face can & most times do worse to those kids behind doors. and it isn’t always beating them. last thing I want is to leave my step kid there & have them shower my kids with everything & just have my bonus kid watching all the fun & not be part of it. they’re gonna damage that kids spirit & you’ll be letting it happen if you keep taking her around & not making them treat her like that rest. or stay away till they can act like adults… 
You have to draw a line with your mom you have to accept Alll my kids and you will treat them all equally or you won’t see us. Maybe it will take couple days or weeks for it to sink in but hopefully that works. Best of luck
Just the simple fact your bonus kid overheard your mom saying that and making her cry etc should be enough to cancel her out of your life. She is toxic and will always from the sounds of your post leave your bonus kid out and that’s not fair. Tell your mom if your gonna leave out my bonus kid from activities you cant see any of my kids.
Mayb it’s time for some tough love towards ur mum. If she can’t accept that u have claimed that little girl as 1 of ur own then that is ur mums problem not urs, and if she can’t keep her unwanted opinion to herself stop going around there
Family is family. PERIOD. Just because you didn’t birth her, does not mean she is not your daughter. Your mother needs to accept that. If she can’t, maybe she’s just needs to stay away. Give her some time to think about it. Plus, your bonus daughter is a child, nothing is her fault. Whether your mom accepts it or not she should not take it out on the child. Shame on her for acting that way.
I mean i would cut my mother off in a heartbeat tf!!
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Being the child of a step mom…No she was my Mom and I was hers end of story…
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My advice as a 68 year old woman with kids and grandkids. Tell your mom she does not have to love or accept your bonus child, but she should respect your wishes in your home with your children. Also, I don’t know how s she is a good babysitter for your children. If this hurt your 9 year old, and the f course it did, she’s probably not very nice to the child when she had the children. Treating your husband’s child badly can easily cause you trouble in your relationship. Your mother needs to respect your family and support your happiness. It’s wrong for others to disrespect your family.
Very mean-spirited of your mom especially as you said your stepdad did the same for you and you were just practicing what you learned as a child.
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Your mom is a shallow person. It’s not the child’s fault that her life is the way it is. Keep loving and care for your step child. Gramma needs to grow up!!
Sorry, but that’s the point at which I’d be saying that if she ever says anything like that to me or about my child again, we’ll ALL be done with her.
Ur mom is a jerk, thats awful of her
Say goodbye, walk away ! A toxic family member will never change. Keep your own family healthy 
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My mother i law did this with my only child . Yet her son had 3… she would never recognize him. So for that even when kids were younger and to this day she knows not to Darken my doorway for she will be escorted off premises… people are ignorant ….
I was raised by a guy that claimed 3 kid’s and We called him dad he was the stable adult in our lives I love him dearly
She’s a typical Hypocrite
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What a shitty person. Wow. Glad you stuck up for your bonus baby. So blessed my husbands Mom treats my daughter from a previous relationship like her own grand baby.
Stand your ground. Love is unconditional and your mom is a hypocrite. It worked for her when it was convenient.
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Tell her she is not welcome at your home until she apologizes directly to the child.
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Why are you talking your toxic mother. The only appropriate thing to do is politely tell her you love her but you will no longer be speaking unless she accepts your step daughter as family.
Then you say nothing to her til she wakes up, or she dies and you never speak again. It’s her choice.
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My mom was the same way until she really got to knows them and spend time with them. Now that my ex husband and I are divorced my parents are still in their lives. 
Wow. Your mother is a heartless turd of a human. That child is an innocent party in all of this. How cruel.
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You teach ppl how to treat you and yours. Do not tolerate her callous and hurtful behavior towards you & your children. Maybe some time apart will give her the time she needs to reconsider her behavior.
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I take care of a step child and I love him just as much as he had my blood! If me and his father broke up ever I would still fight to be in his life! Raising a child that might not have ur blood don’t change how much u love and care for them u don’t have to share blood to be family and them be ur child!
Sometimes…it’s best to exclude people from Your life
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Sadly after hearing what your mother said, I doubt very much your 9 yr old would want to be around this ‘Nana’
Very sad
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You are doing the right by your “daughter”, accepting n loving her as like your own. So protect her… from all negativity and harm.
Unfortunately sometimes it has to be from our family members. Actions and words of their behavior.
Your mom n stepdads behavior is uncalled for.
Good for you for standing up for your daughter. I use the term bonus children as well. I have 2 biological and 2 bonus but we have 4 children is what we say. If anyone said that about any of our kids I’d be pissed too!
Sounds if mom has a problem with son n law or know the other mom.
Bonus children are exactly that! Loved & cared like your own…no other way…
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Cut your mother off till she grows up, that’s so toxic. Not only to your children but all parents involved as well. None of you deserve to be treated in such a manner.
I honestly don’t understand people sometimes. My mil treats my older 3 from my previous marriage as though they aren’t her grandchildren and only counts my youngest as her grandchild and yet she says all the children from her step children are her grandchildren. My ex mil considers ALL four children as her grandchildren and even said when I was pregnant she was excited for another grandson. She’s my ex husbands mum and treats my youngest no different to the other 3. It honestly baffles me, blood doesn’t make a family, love does. I’ll forever be grateful to my ex mil, she always shows the same love and affection for all of my children and I’m very lucky to have her
Your mom sounds toxic af to be honest. I wouldn’t feel comfortable allowing any of my kids around that.
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Wow. That sounds exhausting. What an awful way for your mom to treat you and your step daughter. She sounds like a bitter woman. I would ask her what’s her problem is and ask her why she thinks your step daughter whose been in your life for 8 years, is not your kid or your responsibility. Shes obviously your responsibility when you married her father thats what happens. Whats wrong with this lady? Im just over here shaking my head that she actually thinks your husband’s ex, baby mom should have absolutely anything to do with or any responsibility for your and his kids and your kids together. What the f#ck? Is she really that ignorant or just stupid? Why would your step daughters mother do anything for kids that are not hers or the man she’s with. Your mother sounds Terrible tbh. I wouldn’t allow any of my kids over there. Who knows what toxic things she’s putting on your kids heads. You may think she’s not but I can tell she would if she could get away with it. Maybe little slick remarks about their sister but thats still toxic. I wouldn’t waste any more time trying to talk to her cuz it sounds like you’ve tried many times and she always has some excuse or nasty thing to say about your step child and no amount of trying to make her see the light and similarities in her life with you as a kids and your life will ever make her change her mind. She sounds like she needs therapy. Maybe there’s something in her life that has made her feel this way. Dont blame yourself or try to make excuses for her anymore. I wouldn’t let her see any of my kids until she proves she had had some change of heart. I would cut her right out. Its nit ok the way she’s acting nit even a little. And I know your kids probably love her and she watches them alot but that’s not ok at all. What a hurtful mean way to treat a child over something she has guilt or hurt over in her own life. She’s a grown ass woman now. She needs to treat all the kids in your family the same. Its not like its just some little girl you know. You have been with her dad for at least 8 years. She should be able to accept that this is you’re family now and it doesn’t matter if she likes it or not she’s your child just as much as the ones you gave birth to. Wow what a toxic woman.
your mom is an douche
That’s gross. Good thing your step dad didn’t have that mentality. Fine. She gets no kids. Easy.
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Cut her off . If she can’t accept your bonus daughter then she shouldn’t get to see the others.
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Why is your mom and step dad still involved I yalls life. If you been around this little girl since she was 1 and they have always been this way that’s too many years of holding onto and keeping toxic family around. I’d tell them to go fly a kite in a thunderstorm sis.
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Oh man that’s terrible:(
Sad truth, lots of women are like your mom. They expect a man to step up and take care of thier kids but no way in hell will they except the mens children, because “they aint thier family”.
Just got to cut them out.
I had to with my in laws. They dont accept my children. We don’t get invited to anything, no birthday parties, no Christmas dinners, no Easter dinners, no trips, nothing. I was hurt, but I finally told my husband that I didn’t want to hear about anything that his family was doing, because it hurt knowing that they didn’t invite us. We just do our own things. But it is different with my family. They except his children, they buy them presents, give them money, take them shopping, include them in trips. Im glad i was bought up like that.
Just keep being the awesome parent you are, and dont stop. Your doing an awesome job.
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If anything protect that lil girl from hearing any of this…I would have hung up the second she she ok but only ur kids. I went through something similar…but only they accepted my son in front of us…but treated him differently when alone and would discuss it when he was home…he over heard rude conversations…he wasn’t aware that his dad wasn’t his biological…which we choose not to let him know to protect him…his biological was never ever there and was very abusive to me in the past…thats how he ended up kind of suspecting something…cause of heartless adults that should know better…sorry your fam is going through this, especially her…poor girl…
My suggestion is tell her that until she can learn to accept your bonus daughter and treat ALL of you kids the same then she she won’t be allowed to be around any of them. She is a child and no child should be treated like that. Also she has been in your life for a long time.
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Dont let her be apart of any of your kids lives.
If she can’t love ALL of your kids, then she doesn’t get to see ANY of your kids. I would never let anyone single out one of my children like that, let alone speak about them that way. Time to cut ties with mom until she can understand that they’re all your children.
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Toxic toxic toxic. Run as fast as you can. You are a wonderful person for stepping up and making sure that child isn’t treated any different than your own. I deal with this shit too.
Look for a new babysitter, and only bring the kids around when your there. God knows what she can be telling the kids so they can recent the older sister.
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That is so sad! Shame on your mom! You’re a wonderful step mom and just keep her away from your mom.
I grew up in a family of “yours, mine, and ours” kids. My dad had two kids, my stepmom had four kids, and they had one together. My stepmother was the sweetest woman in the world, and we called her Mom. She never once, in the 50+ years she was married to my dad treated my sister and me any different. And my dad didn’t treat her kids any different. We were all one family period. Our entire family welcomes everyone as if we are 100% blood. Shame on that grandmother for even thinking what she said. It is her loss. I would get the picture taken and post for all the world to see, and not give grandma one, but see if grandpa wants one.
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Ouch!!! This is tough because you are going to hurt some one of your kids either way. If you stop the gparents from seeing the bio kid then they hurt. I would have a 1 on 1 sit down with mom. Be proactive and explain how much you love and need stepdad and you want to pass the love forward. Explain to her the damage she is causing the family dynamic and your hopes of a healthy blended family.
Coming from a blended family and now having one of my own…that’s disgusting she would act like that. I don’t even like the term “step-child/parent etc”. My bonus kid is my son. I’m not his birth mother, but I’ve been raising him since he was 3 and he’s 9.5 now. If my parents or my spouses parents acted like that towards any of our 4 boys I’d be done and cut them off. That’s me. You do what’s best for your family. That kid looks to you for protection and care. Her life comes first and her feelings.
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I believe your mom needs a very long and well deserved time out from your life do not allow her to hurt that child like that or you are just as guilty of child abuse as she is
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Honestly your mom disgusts me. How could she treat a child that way especially after having your step dad raise you. You should turn it back on her and say and what if dad refused to clothe feed and protect me cause I wasn’t made from his sperm?! Would you still have wanted to be with him after he treated your child that way. Ugh this is just upsetting. I would have so many words for your mom. Your poor baby girl
Your mom needs to grow up and act like an adult ! You as her daughter are more mature than she is. I give you much respect that you are a great step mom. My sister has 3 step kids and you her they are her kids as they are my nieces and nephew. Not Step Anything !!! Maybe you need to distance your kids and self from her, then maybe she will think about your point. Either way keep up the great job.
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I’d cut mom out until she could learn respect. It’s been 8 years she needs to grow the hell up. Cut her off and cut her out before you let irreversible damage get done it’s already gone too far
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First, I’d cut your mom off. It’s despicable when family treats stepkids vs biological kids different. I was in your bonus daughters shoes and still as a 30 year old woman it bothers me.
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Tell ya mom to kick rocks. Your child doesn’t deserve that hurt and your mom doesn’t deserve your other kids in her life until she can accept and love all of them equally
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My exes mom was like that with my 2 from a previous relationship, saying she wouldn’t accept them til I married her daughter. Needless to say I let it be known that she was tolerated and we didn’t go over there much. I grew up with that crap and I’m not about to let my kids go through it. Enjoy watching the babies grow up through pictures.
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Wow!! Immature and SAD! I have a lot to say but I rather not. All I will say is ur mother needs to be cut off if she can’t accept your bonus child! So mean and hurtful to leave a child out. It’s not their fault they did NOTHING to her 
… ur a good mother, keep doing what ur doing and treating that child like she’s urs! I can’t imagine how ur husband may feel that his in laws are acting like that. Smh
If she can’t accept and love all kids then, she can see any of the kids.
I’m sorry but if my family couldn’t except my step kids they can’t except me or my kids…. There’s absolutely NO exception 
that little girl is probably hurt, I’m so glad you stood up for her though. It’s a shame that your mom and step dad feel that way… that would hurt me too.
That is not okay. All children need all the love they can get from any family members. They should be blessed with the extra love and not as if they are an issue. Unfortunately, this happens more than not and is so sad to have to deal with.