You are a wonderful mother. Period!
She is toxic hun X cut her out and love all your children like you are !
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Cut her out. And explain until her & Pops attitude change about your bonus child. She & Pops are out of the picture!
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I just want to say you are an amazing mom for standing up for your bonus child. Im sure that meant alot to her. And shame on your mom for behaving that way. Just keep being the mom she knows you to beđ
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Until your mother changes her attitude stay away from her.
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Thatâs horrible 
poor baby smh Ignorance at its best
Dont give her any photos. Redo the sboot including the other daufhter and stash the first one. Is very hurtful to a young girl. Is hurting you more than sheâs letting on.
If she canât accept ALL I wouldnât let her see ANY. Especially given you had a STEP parent her behavior is gross af
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I wouldnât be bothered with my mom acting like that.
Wow that is just sad. I wouldnât keep them away from their grandchildren but I would make damn sure your step daughter NEVER has to be around your parents. Nope! Your kids should know they are loved by their family but donât subject your step to that negative bs.
Your mom should not be like that. You were raised whats the difference. What if your stepdad had other children would treat them just cause they werenât hers.thats n it right at all. I have a step daughter so I know its not easy being a step parent. But if your mom canât accept your step daughter then I would just tell her then that you donât want anything to do with her. I realize she babysits your kids but she shouldnât make your stepdaughter feel that way. Cause your step dad accepted you. Thatâs very immature and wrong on your motherâs part. You your husband and your mom and step dad should sit down and talk about thisâŚand you are a very amazeing woman for stepping up to the plate with your bonus child. Ask your mom how she would have felt if your stepdad did that to youâŚkeep being the good mama and step mom your being take it from another step mom itâs not easy. Your husband and kids are your family put ypur mom and stepdad on the back burner. Till they can get their heads out of their asses.
Girl. You have been doing great all this time. You continue doing what you feel in your heart is right. N that child will always remember that. Dont let anyone tell you anything different. Clearly, your a much better person.
Iâm super surprised your mom acts like that. With what you said about your stepdad. Maybe have a heart to heart with your mom. If that donât help you got a couple big decisions to make,good luck momma.
Family pictures include everyone. I have been in my step daughterâs life since she was 2. My mom was like that as well, but I think some of it came from all the problems we had with her and her mother but still not an excuse.
How sad, why would anybody say what she did, I have a daughter-in-law who had a child before she married my son, I have always considered him my grandchild even though he is not my sonâs child, whenever people ask me how many grandkids I have I always say 13, I wouldnât consider him not to be my grandchild, what an extremely harsh woman to say that about your bonus child. You are an amazing mum, keep up the good work.
Tell her sheâs your daughter from the heartâŚtreated just like she was biological.
Iâm afraid if she cuts her mother out until she can fix her attitude itâs gonna just make her motherâs attitude worse towards the daughter. I have 2 amazing step parents a mom and a dad I never felt treated differently by either family but it deff sucks for your bonus daughter 
. Maybe keep your distance enough that your mother asks why and then explain it to her if she canât comprehend it at that point she just simply needs to not be a part of your or your kids lives anymore
As the bonus kid who got asked to step out of pictures I am so glad youâre sticking up for your stepdaughter. Youâre going to be apart of her life for forever so it really makes a difference to treat her like sheâs your own!!
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I would say to your mother ok then if you want that why her partner canât be in them if she feels that way so she knows how hurtful it can be play her at her own games
Unfortunate that your mother is putting herself in this position. Her opinion is a personal problem.
I think its extremely important your 9yo daughters knows & sees that youâre on her side. Iâm sure youâve made it so clear you love her- I would just keep prioritizing that over anything. Your motherâs drama is entirely her own & on her- what the adult parents decide between your homes for your children is none of her business whatâs so ever. Who you choose to love as your own is none of her business. Maybe she needs to be told that. Flat out and asked what on this earth makes her think its right to exclude a child as punishment to a parent for ânot paying for blah blahââŚwhich she also has no business keeping a tab on so maybe she needs to be informed less if she canât stop the way she treats a child based on how she feels about an adult situation
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Double standards right there 
its all or nothing snippity snip 
!! You are amazing keep doing what you are doing 
I would give an ultimatum. She either goes to counseling WITH you about this issue or she is too much of a risk of inflicting emotional abuse upon ANY of your children and therefore will not be allowed to see them. What a wicked woman.
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Maybe she should think about how she would feel if your step father hadnât excepted her children as his own.
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Stupid attitude for your mum to have kids can get so hurt from this ridiculous situation, forget about her and just raise your kids as you see fit otherwise sheâll destroy that childâs life!
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In the most humble way ever⌠Fuck your momma ⌠NONE of my kids would be going there its all or none and those comments wouldnât fly towards my bonus babies. Iâd come unglued and ignorant
Reassure that baby that the world can be ugly but sheâs still the apple of your eye and wonât be treated differently
I salute all step parents who treat the children as their own! We have a house of 5 kids and 3 are my stepkids, I go threw the same situation with my mother in regards to my stepkids. I had to distance myself and the kids from her for a period. Giving birth doesnât only make you a parent, being there full-time does! Good job, keep your head up!
My mom was like that in the beginning with my step kids also. Eventually she learned to love them as grandchildren also. I hope your mom comes to understand that as well. A good thoughtful conversation( no yelling) is in order.
Oh hell no, thatâs just sad and makes me so angry⌠Iâd probably have to cut her off. No joke.
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Worry about your daughter and let your mom get some guidance with a counselor, their is a reason for her behavior.
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So wrong. We. Have. Step. Grand kids. And. We. Treat. Them. Just. Like. Our grandkids. Because. They. Are
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Iâd stop communication find someone else to watch the kids and be done.
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My mom would be cut from my life. Thatâs extreme BS
If I was you I would cut your mom and step dad out of your life. Them acting that way isnât okay
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Iâm so sorry! I have bonus children and grandchildren too. Your parents are wrong and are hurting the future generation. Stop them at all costs. You and your children deserve better. Good luck
Remove yourself from your toxic momâŚ
Find another sitter! Cut toxic ties! Family included!
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Time to cut momma outta YOUR family . I have the same situation and no one will ever make my kids feel any kinda way !! Not even my momma . I donât speak to her and its been 5 years. No regrets 
My family comes first
I would cut her out of ALL the kids lives. You treat them the same, or stay away. Period. My oldest in still dealing with the effects of my exâs mom doing this crap.
My MIL wouldnt accept my son , my husband ditched his entire family for me and my son, your mother needs to GO shes toxic af. You and your family are a unit, keep her away from everyone!
Wow thatâs terrible 
She is gonna create a lot of resentment in your family and destroy bonds that havenât even had a fair chance to bloom I would not leave my kids with her at all God only knows how she is treating them or talking to them or what she tells others
This is very very unhealthy and is going to give an innocent child a complex of not being good enough this world is harsh enough she knows better and needs to do better totally unacceptable love them all equally or donât love any of them .
If she doesnât except ALL your kids (bonus or bio) then she doesnât have ANY of them simples
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So sorry, thatâs absolutely 
cruel! Iâd cut her out of my life & my kids lives! Sheâs toxic & it will definitely have an impact on yur lil girl⌠Sorry but yur mom is emotionally abusive!
I would tell her to fuck off. Blood is nothing at all. Family is everything if she donât see your oldest daughter as family then she canât see her way out. Keep standing up for her. This makes me sick to my stomach. My mom(step mom) helped my dad raise me and my sisters her family fully accepted us no questions asked. Family is love not blood
Cut your mother out of your life, the kids dont need that toxic behavior and neither do you
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You can cut toxic people out of your life. Even your own parents 
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Reassure your daughter and cut your mom out. Point blank period. That baby deserves more than someone who cant accept her for who she is.
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Sorry but your mom is an aashole
Toxic is toxic. I wouldnât talk to your mother until she figured out how to act.
Sorry your momâs wrong
I would not let her have anything to do with my family there is no steps in my house your my child no matter what. Let her sit in her self sorrow. I wish all the best with you and your family
Thatâs straight bullshit . Thatâs so wrong. She needs to apologize to this little girl. What a B**** !!!
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That is really sad. I hope you stop allowing her near your child. You heard what she said for your daughter to overhear, imagine what she says to her and how she treats her when you arenât around.
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I donât like people who play favorites with my kids.
What a horrible narcissistic pair your parents are. That poor child. A child doesnât have to be biologically yours for you to love them unconditionally. Your mother is plain nasty
Wouldnât want any of my kids around a nasty influence like her.
So wrong, kids are innocent victims everytime
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If she didnât ls her like the other kids then she wouldnât be part of my life anymore. I dealt with that on the daddy side of family and I told them either love all my kids or none at all snd it worked out
Itâs simple you have 4 children if your mother canât or wonât except that then she doesnât need to worry about any of them, itâs not a pick and choose situation if you see all the children as yours, it not up to anyone even your own mother to question.
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Sorry. Iâd have to say u have one of the ugliest mothers ( no other way to say it but sheâs just ugly n cruel on the inside. She will get to understand hers when she meets her maker. Sheâs clearly not even going out of her way to b mean to a child. Itâs disgusting. She wouldnât b watching my kids thatâs for sure. No way Iâd want her bitter ass to rub off on them.
First they are both hypocrites and second Iâd let her know if she cant accept her the way your stepfather accepted you then she cant be apart of their lives. Itâs unfair and extremely hurtful. Itâs awesome to see that youâre sticking up for her but just remove them
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Cut your mom out. If she canât accept all of your children whether biological or step then she has no business being a grandmother. I canât even imagine what she says to people about her when none of you are around.
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Yeah Iâd fall completely out with my mom over this! Goodbye mother!
If she doesnât accept them all then she doesnât accept any.
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She wouldnât be in any of the kids life. Youâve accepted & treated your bonus child as your own so no difference should be made.
What kind of heart does a person have to even act that way towards any child.
Your parents are evil
Shes a total bitch. Time to cut that out. Your poor daughter!!
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Cut her out until she can modify her behaviour and apologise to the poor little girl. You are absolutely right in the fact this will damage the little one and could potentially change your biological childrenâs perspective of how they treat her.
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Your mom is an asshole and your focus needs to be on the family you reside with. This problem she has with the bonus child is hers, not yours.
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Mom is out of place and out of timing. Continue to talk to your daughter though, and let her know how loved and cherished she is, and the family unit will never be complete without her in it.
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Cut her off from all of them
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Time to throw your mom outâŚ
Cut her off⌠anyone who has views like that, especially after being okay with your step dad raising you as his own and now having a problem with it⌠itâs pathetic and extremely hypocritical.
Youâre mother is toxic to ALL of your children, if that is her mind set.
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This is so heartbreaking for the poor girl and for you. Youve been there since she was 1. Sheâs your child
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You keep doing what you do best and keep showing love, donât worry about your mom, she will come round. Donât let her get to you and stay strong! All the best
My dad had 3 kids from different females when I was growing up and together him and my mom have 5 not one time did my mom ever say these are my step kids or even fuss about them coming over for the weekend and for weeks during the summer. My momâs mom never called them her step grandbabies they were all her grandbabies I donât understand why people use the term stepchild I raised my daughter since she was 2 and I legally adopted her when her.father passed away not one time did I ever call her my stepdaughter she always called me mom and I always have referred to her as my daughter. If your family cannot accept your daughter then they donât need to be in your life or the grand childrens lives either.
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If she canât treat all them the same, then she wouldnât see any of them. If she says stuff like that to you when the child is near, what does she say/do when youâre not around. She was a mom who also had a step-parent for her children, how would she have felt if you and your siblings were treated like that by your step fathers family.
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Um, firstly make sure your daughter is okay. Secondly, a conversation with your parents in depth needs to take place. If they are not going to treat all the kids the same then she doesnât need to be around any of them!
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Sheâs toxic, cut her off.
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Thatâs awful, your mother is a terrible person!
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My heart breaks for the 9 yr. old girl. I applaud you for loving her as your own. Your mother is wrong on so many levels. The pain she caused an innocent child was so uncalled for. I wish you all the best of luck. 
I would rearrange the photoshoot with All the kids, send the pics to your mother and tell her to take a good hard look at them cos itll be the last time she sees them! Her behaviour is deplorable!!
I have a sister that is 16 years older than me. I went to stay with her hubby & my nieces. Anyways her MIL comes over wants a pic of family, my sister puts me in the group pic MIL pulls me out saying Iâm not family. I was 8.
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Tell her that she needs to accept your step daughter as a part of the family and treat her respectfully and nice! Tell her If she canât do that then she will not be involved in your guys life and you will distance not only yourself from her but her grandkids. Also wouldnât even allow her to watch all the kids anymore because she is probably treating that poor child differently when there in her care!! I am sorry that she is behaving so poorly! You need to put your foot down though and stick to it! Because thatâs incredibly unfair and hurtful to treat a 9 year old child that way not too mention disgusting!
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Thats absolutely horribleâŚ
Tell her to accept them all or none of them. She wouldnât be allowed near any of my kids with that way of thinking.
Mum needs an ultimatum & a good hard talking toâŚ
You need to make it clear to her that all of your children are equal! She wouldnât say anything like that about your âbirth childrenâ so this is not acceptable! If sheâs not interested then I would absolutely point out about ur step dad and if she is set in her ways then I would suggest explaining to her that, if this is how she feels maybe she doesnât need to be a part of your family! You canât live your life fighting a losing battle you need support from people around you regardless of the size of your family so utilise what you have around you because the real people who care, love you and know you are amazing!
Your poor kiddo. Iâm so so glad she has you in her corner!
Iâd cut her off temporarily and see how it goes from there.
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Donât interact, hang out with, or even have her watch the kids unless she also includes bonus girl. She can learn to treat them all the same, or not have any of them.
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Iâm sorry, but your momâs a bitch. No other words for it. If she canât accept all of your children then cut her off and wash your hands. If she cares at all sheâll change her tune, or wonât but itâs her loss.
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Any grandparent that is not accepting all the kids will be getting told off or at least spoken to immediately. If my kids arenât invited then neither am I or any of MY kids. Get on board or go away. Your choice.
Well you better keep fighting your mom for that little girl, she doesnât deserve to see that.
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my oldest son that i raised is not biologically mine âŚbut hes mine ! and anyone who disrespected that would be out of my life period!
My heart breaks for your bonus child⌠you are an awesome mummy
You are doing the right thing so hold your ground. And love love love on that bonus child!
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Cut her off
Its been 8 years and she hasnât changed her tune. If you really want that child to feel like she is yours, standing up to your mom and telling her she will none of the children till she can treat them like equals, will show her YOUR commitment and will lessen the blow of your motherâs rejection to her.
I have 2 bonus children, none I birthed myself but just like you, have been around their whole lives. My mother treats them just the same as my niece honestly probably better cause we live closer. I would of cut her off if she didnât treat them like her own, because i see them as my own and rejection of my child is you rejecting me. Their feelings mean more to me than a relationship with anyone.
Amazing mum having her back, sheâs lucky to have you. Hold your ground, you all come as a package n itâs either all of you or none of you, no negotiations. Bonus child⌠I like that, so sweet
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Firstly, the world needs more step parents like you
If that were my mum, Iâd be telling her itâs all or none, very wrong of her to treat her so differently, especially given the fact she met a man that brought her children up like his own, some people baffle me!
I do hope your daughter is OK 
that must of been really distressing for her to hear
Keep showing her the love she deserves to be shown, and if your mum doesnât change then Iâd reconsider any contact any of your children currently have with her. But to be honest if itâs always been the same and your now 8yrs down the line I donât think she ever will change. Your step daughters mum must of been upset to, because Iâd hate to think my child was being treated differently xx
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My STEP mother does the same thing to my bonus baby⌠like they fkn forgot what we had to go threw with OUR âstepâ parents Whether itâs bad or good throughout our lives they are still considered ânot bloodâ
SMH at ur mom⌠
Stand your ground. Never treat another child different