Why does he have an issue with him? You need to have a conversation, not an argument. I would just tell your husband you know he feels this way if he wants to explain it more so you understand why he doesn’t like him / why he’s there. He also needs to listen to you. After all those years and barely finding out your adopted is hard, as well as siblings you didn’t know about. It’s literally life altering. I guess I understand your husbands attitude… you both don’t know him much, but that’s why he’s there. You’re being a good sister & getting to know you brother. There’s nothing wrong with that. He needs to be supportive
Marriage therapist here. Your marriage is the most important relationship you have. Your brother can find other options, as he always has. Negotiate with your spouse on a deadline for your brother to leave. Respect his wishes as you would want him to respect yours.
This holds true no matter what else either of you have been through. If you are over-doing if fir him, then stop. But his children and yours come second to your marriage, and your respective other family members take a distant third place to the marriage and any children involved.
I think you just need to take more time in trying to explain everything to your husband. It’s probably just as much as a stressful shock to him as it is you. I know what it’s like to constantly have an argument about things so what I do is write how I’m feeling down so I know for a fact all my feelings is wrote down on paper so everything can be “said” vs getting into an argument and the conversation just ending. See if your husband can bond with your brother on anything. Just don’t stop trying
If there is a FIRM deadline in place to be out and he is being helpful and not causing more work. Then I don’t see an issue with helping out family.
Spouses often get jealous of attn given to other people. I am going through this right now.
My mom passed and my dad moved in until we can finish building his tiny home in the backyard… he has an annoying dog that was my moms… not his… but obviously no one is gonna get rid of my moms fur baby. My dad helps out a lot with works outside and in. He doesn’t contribute financially but that was the whole point of moving him here to ease that burden as well give me an easier time (not having to travel) to take care of him as he ages.
My husband nit picks about everything he does. He does have annoying habits. But only to me thankfully…It is very stressful and I think he is being hateful. His father also died around the same time and I do a lot for his mother who live on our street. I never act ugly about helping her or nit-pick at the things she does. I just don’t understand the behavior… family is family… you take care of your own and don’t make them feel like a burden.
Again we have a deadline too. I know that having him live in the house forever would not be ideal.
But this dominate pissing contest is annoying.
As long as your brother is not going and blowing money, cleans up his messes and doesn’t cause you a financial burden. I think the deadline is reasonable. Remind your husband and brother it is temporary and you would do it for his family as well and from the sounds of it have.
Good luck! It is a hard and stressful time.
I hate stress in a marriage but they need to quit being dicks! Men can be so selfish.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My newly discovered brother is living with us and my husband hates it, what should I do?
Get rid of your husband.
Lots of YOU in that statement. Your married and have children everything is not about YOU. That stopped when you git married and had children. Its about your family they have the right to give their opinions on the situation eventhough your making it all about YOU. I was adopted its not that traumatic when your a adult and know how things go.
You just found out about your brother you’ve had your husband for 10 years get rid of your kids
Seems like your husband is jealous of your brother! How do you get along other than ( brother) problems? Do you love him~ is the marriage worth staying in! Pro and Con!
7 months!?! If I was ur husband I’d be sick of it too….time for brother to move out
Sit down and talk calmly and ask why he has a problem with him being there first. If his reasoning is minor and it can be fixed then discuss it with your brother, if there are problems that are not so minor then honestly the brother needs to go unfortunately. And 7 months seems like a long time for someone to be able to get their own place. I would have set that timeframe a little lower. But, in all honesty your husband comes before your brother in every situation and if it’s not working then brother is out, not worth weakening my marriage over. Yalls kids are not even on the same level as brother either, you mention them coming a lot like that is the same and it’s way different. Once you marry, those you y’all’s kids!!
I completely understand wanting your new found family with you and I am so happy that you’ve found your siblings, I’m sure your husband is as well, but from his standpoint you have basically moved in a complete stranger and that’s quite scary. It’s also a lot of financial burden on your husband to now be responsible for another mouth to feed. This is a tough situation, sit down with hubby and find out exactly what his fears are and make compromises around them. Maybe it’s something as simple as your brother getting a part time job and contributing a little financially while saving up for a place, or maybe it’s the fact that no one really knows him and you could all benefit from a family night once a week to really get to know one another, or hubby and brother can go out one on one a night a week.
Idk. This is a tough one because 7 months is a super long time when u already have a house full of people and ur married. I think you’re both right. But again… 7 months is a super long time and that’s a grown man? 35? Not another child. Tuff. Best of luck
Remind him it’s temporary.
Have a date night out just you and husband and blow his…mind…in the hotel room 
Husband is (justified) in his feelings, and prob thinks alot about his lack of privacy (I personally hate having ppl live with me who aren’t my husband or kid). Don’t discredit those feelings or he will have a hard time sharing with you in the future.
Both of you deserve to be happy. Find a compromise (maybe brother needs a hobby and needs to get out of the house more ) does brother contribute to the groceries/bills? If not is he working to save money for moving out ?
You had alot happen in your life. Now your choices have to involve your family. If your brother isn’t lazy sleeping all day not helping around the house and is that causing problems than your husband need to understand. Help your brother find a place show your husband that you are not trying to have your brother live with you forever. You are all adults. sit down and talk about it. Figure out what problems your husband is having with this. Communication is the key.
You do have to consider your husbands feelings here; you can still get to know your brother with him being in a different house; it doesn’t mean he can’t come over for dinner etc… it just means it gives you and your husband a bit of privacy/space. I don’t think I would like the idea of someone coming to stay for 7 months; maybe a few weeks whilst they get back on their feet but not months and months! You say you’ve made a lot of sacrifices for your husband and stepchildren, but ultimately if you married him, you took on the responsibility so it shouldn’t have felt like a sacrifice. He probably just wants his privacy back and to feel at ease in his own home 
I understand your husbands concerns especially with children being involved. How well do you know your brother? And 7 months is a long time. But I also see your point. Maybe take your husband for a meal just you and him and both of you can have an honest discussion in a controlled environment so it’s less likely to turn into an argument,
I agree with the husband. After 3 days, people stink in your house. It’s different when it’s his children and y’all children together. But a whole grown ass man? No thanks. You could have got to know him better without him having to live in your house. Things probably changed between you and your husband that you have yet to realize. I’m all for the “putting the pieces of your life together” but he doesn’t have to live with y’all.
No man comes before my husband. Especially one that just came into my life. I don’t know. This is something that I wouldn’t put myself in personally. My home is my sanctuary and peace of mind. If things are not peaceful at home then there is no home.
I think it depends on the comments he’s making if he’s just being an ass to be an ass and is annoyed he’s just there and that’s it it’s not okay and he clearly doesn’t care about your feelings. If he is voicing real concerns about him staying with you because you have kids and you just met him you should listen to him and understand where he is comin from
Brother has to go…you may be blood, but he’s a stranger, and you have children around him???
Unless you are capable of supporting the entire household when your husband leaves, you best get the brother out. I think it’s totally ridiculous, and selfish on your part…
Tell him to shut the fuck up and deal with.
She can feel like he’s her brother, but let’s be honest, it’s a stranger man that you letting come inside your house and you have kids, sorry but I wouldn’t do it, to me, when you get married, your family is your husband and your kids, that’s the priority, the rest, all of them becomes relatives, including new members. And there’s no way to compare him having kids to your situation, one thing have nothing to do with another, you knew was you was getting into since the moment to met him, and sorry but you can’t compare kids with adults.
I see it from both sides… i feel that your husband should understand a little more and you need to have that talk in a controlled environment. I also say that if you just met him not too long ago, maybe it was too fast and you getting to know him doesnt have to require him living with you. Bringing someone new into the home is an adjustment for everyone in the home. I get that your happy and your husband should be happy for you, but not everyone is comfortable around new people. Myself and my husband have a friend living in my sons room right now… were helping him get on his feet. Hes been here two months and hasnt done anything… he is supposed to start a job today with a temp agency… atleast its something but he doesnt help at all. Its caused myself and my husband to argue at times, my kids loved him being here and now they hate it bcuz dad spends more time with friend than family, we gotta be careful about what we say. I cant sleep or walk around the house in any clothing i want or half naked bcuz there is now someone in our home. I have to think about my daughter who is about to start puberty and a man we barely know in the home… we know his family very well which is why we took him in. Theres a lot of changes when someone new comes into the home so if your family isnt adjusting well there needs to be some sort of changes either your husband understands better or your brother goes somewhere else and u can still get to know eachother. Your days ones always come first. I get that hes your brother… i do… but your husband has been there for you and had your back for how long? Cut him some slack. He doesnt understand like you do and its okay to have different mind sets.
I’m concerned that your brought someone into your house that you don’t really know that well. Your husband has a right to feel the way he does. Does your brother help out around the house? Or pay for anything?? I understand your aching for that family connection. Understand you may not get that feeling the way you want.
Tell your husband to get over it and step it up for you as you have always been thr for him n his kids
It doesn’t sound like you involved your husband at all in inviting your brother to live with you and discounted his feelings or concerns about this new roommate and are trying to use your new discovery as a “I wanted to so I did and you have to accept it because I’m hurting” move. (I get it). Fixing this with your husband will be difficult no matter which way you go because on some level, trust was broken 
Your husband sounds like a territorial man (no nastiness intended) maybe having another man around is a bit of a ‘step on the toes’. I would try and plan a family night maybe ask your brother to go see friends or something once a week and have a family night with your immediate. He may also feel like your being taken for a ride, I mean you find out your adopted find your new family and now one is staying at yours for 7 months 
. Why not just ask your husband what the problem is as you want to make him comfortable and don’t like your constant arguing. End of the day don’t risk your marriage over your new found brother l. If your husband doesn’t want him longer than say a month just tell your brother your sorry but he will have to find somewhere else in that time. He should be understanding and appreciate that
He should be your biggest supporter. I could not imagine just finding out I was adopted. Plus finding out I have a brother. Enjoy your time with him! Your husband needs to be more understanding and supportive. He should be happy about it.
Maybe you should seek counseling with your husband and be willing to be absolutely open to an unbiased person. There could be things that neither of you are seeing that can cause concern. Sometimes we let our emotions cloud our judgment so it’s easier to see from the outsider.
Could be he is just jealous of time spent with brother that he used to get. U got to ask and find out. Maybe find more of a happy medium. Or he is a ass. Who knows …
If you want him to understanding your concerns wants and needs you need to understand. Did he agree to this arrangement to begin with? Or did you just do it?
You should understand that to your husband and you for that fact that man (your brother) is a stranger… men don’t like strange people in their home around their kids, their sanctuary (especially men) I don’t don’t think he’s jealous but he is protective and that speaks a lot about him he sounds like a good husband. Now consider this 7 months is a long time I had moved in with my brother recently I lived 3 hours away before but he had a job opportunity for me so he welcomed me into his home. I moved out in just a little under 3 months. That’s how long it took me to find my own place and get my ducks in order and I’m a woman… it’s much easier for a man to get a better paying job… I see your side too I do it’s nice to get to know your brother but you can still do that but he doesn’t have to live in your house and I think that is what your husband is trying to get at… Just my opinion.
Honestly talk to your husband have alone nights with just you two. Make sure your brother has a job and is saving and actually looking for a place if not he’s gotta go.
Oh dear. It’s time 4 your husband to reciprocate. Your brother is not being a bump on a log, he’s contributing at the moment to the best of his ability. Perhaps 
remind the hubs of the times you sacrificed and overlooked things for the health of your marriage. Just tell your husband your bother has until a (certain month) to leave. That way your husband sees light at the end of the tunnel and will see that you mean business with your brother. Perhaps you can explore local resources to help him secure his own place soon, say by Christmas - is that reasonable ? I think it is. Good luck, 
sweetie, it will all work out. Your an angel for helping him out 
Family like fish, after 3 days needs to go. Seven months is too long. Your newly discovered brother is taking advantage of you. Givers need to set limits because takers never will. Listen to your husband.
Fuck that you don’t know this man!!! You have a daughter to think about!!! I would never ever move a strange man in my home with any kids but especially not a daughter!!! Come on!!! That is asking for serious trouble and possibly trauma to YOUR CHILD!!! It’s always the helpful house guest that ends up molesting your kids!!! Maybe there is a reason he moved and is homeless!!!
Come on Facebook and ask for advice 
I understand both sides. He is your husband, this is someone newer and living in not just your home but BOTH of your homes and where your children are. I don’t think he’s being an ass hole in all honesty 7 months to have a strange man living in your home around your kids without having a say would be uncomforting to anyone
I understand where you’re coming from. You and your brother are getting to know each other and that is fantastic. My question is why will he be living with you and your family (give or take) for 7months? That is a long time for a stranger to live in your home with your kids. Yes your brother is a stranger. I completely understand staying with you a month while he finds something, but 7 long months?
Holy cow! My brother has lived with us for over a year now lol he is a valuable asset to our home and helping out with our kids. He is a recovering addict who has been clean and sober for over 8 months now. He has a long road ahead of him. We agreed he can stay with us until our daughter is about 4 years old.
Sounds like you need to find a place with your brother if he makes you that happy
I’m going to side with the husband. Having a man you are not super familiar with in your house especially with kids that has a parent that is concerned. You should absolutely not be going against what your husband asks especially when it’s about kids.
What is the reason it taking so long for him to find his own place? Seven months is plenty of time.
Did you talk to your husband before you moved your brother in? Seems like everything is about YOU and not your husband and kids.
So I’m not married or have someone I’m with but my understanding in a relationship is communicating. So if I where you I would take your husband out and explain to him about everything you just posted. And explain what ways okay. But make sure you know your brothers background and rap sheet
I’d say definitely sit down with you’re husband and talk things out tell him how you’re feeling
My opinion: Did you both talk about this when this all came about? Did he agree? How much in the “ know” was he? This isn’t something you get to decide on by yourself no matter the situation. Your married. Any and every life changing decisions out of respect should be discussed and agreed on too. As far as the “ sacrifices” you feel you’ve made, I wouldn’t go there. You knew he had kids, and you don’t get a free pass or a “ break” for making sacrifices one makes as a mother or stepmother. You sure as hell don’t get to use them as cards. That being said, you literally just met him. Brother or not, this isn’t just about you. This is an adjustment for everyone involved. It literally affects every single person in your home. Full time or part time. You might be feeling all the feels and I get that, but your husband doesn’t have to feel your feels. He doesn’t know the man from a dude on the street and his kids live in the house. This is something you need to work out with him and in my opinion apologize for not taking his feelings into consideration with all the change your also bringing into your home. You are going through this traumatic thing and I’m sorry you went through all this, but try thinking about how this affects everyone. It’s obviously affecting your marriage. I’ve been through a similar scenario with my Dad and little sister moving into my already packed house for two months and it became to tense I had to take a step back and hold myself accountable for these changes because at the end of the day, I did this. The victim mentality won’t get you very far my dear. You have to hold yourself accountable and do what you have to to make things right with your husband. That’s who your married too. Your husband comes before your newly discovered brother. Good luck.
I don’t really have any advice but he sounds like a very unsupportive husband
If your brother is helping out and pulling his own weight then your husband should deal with it. It takes some time to get a job a place and enough money to move. I say you your brother and husband all need to sit down and come up with a time line everyone is happy with and that is realistic. You do need to respect his feelings and he needs to do the same. But Also ask him if it was his brother would he be so quick to get pissy and shoving him out
Get a new husband because you’re married to an asshole.
The topic of you brother can not be pushed aside. Your husband and you need alone time to talk about this whole thing. It’s so new to you and your family. Its alot to put on your plate. Trying to put yourself back together with a family you didnt know you had im sure is hard. Have a talk with your brother as well. Maybe he can move out sooner.
Try getting the two of them to bond and get to know each other. Maybe they can work on a project around the house
Instead of her husband being madd maybe he should get to know her brother maybe that’s the problem I would wanna know the person living in my household
Tell your husband that you are the happiest you have ever been by getting to know your brother and how traumatic it has been to you to have to go through what you went through… With that said, be aware that your brother is still a stranger to you and the others in your family. Keep your eye on him and do not let emotions fog your vision if he oversteps boundaries with you or anyone else in your family.
I would tell him you don’t fight about his family. Say snooty remarks or make him feel bad about his family.
Does he not have any compassion? Understanding?
He might be jealous of the attention that you are giving your brother!!
If it were me I would blow off any neg. remark made.
I think he’s jealous of your relationship with your brother.
First ask yourself do you still love your husband? Or do you feel he still loves you? Then go from there. Is the relationship you’ve given so much of your life to still worth it. Your brother is a blessing.
Some people just don’t like others living with them. It’s hard on a relationship when theirs other people living with you other then kids. Sometimes in-laws but usually still don’t work out. My grandparents raised me. My birth mom was always in my life but as a sister figure. So since I’ve been an adult my birth mom has lived with me twice. Her house burnt once so it was a need. We can absolutely NOT get along living together. I mean just NO! Lol!
Sorry, but I think your husband is right. He has a say, what if he moved another female family member in that you found irritating ect. It’s a house for you and your husband + kids. A few weeks maybe but 7 months is asking far to much.
Ps you are getting to know your new brother. You don’t know him. That’s a big risk to take with your children.
TBH, I would be mad too. 
Even though this is your biological brother, you really just met him and is it really fair to compare a stranger biological or otherwise to your stepchildren of 10 years? 
Look I get where your husband is coming from. Exactly how long do you plan on having your brother live there? I mean it’s been 7 months. Is he working? Has he been looking for a place? Have y’all even set up a time frame? I mean I get your need to get to know your biological family, I really do but you have to be realistic. Having a grown man stay with you rent free for 7 months is a pretty big break. You also didn’t mention what size your home is. Is it big enough to accommodate all of you or is it crowded? Maybe you should sit down with your brother and try to work out a time frame for him to move out. Maybe if you can at least give your husband a reasonable time frame then he will have something to look forward to.
I like Patsinda Gonzalez comment. Seems a place to start anyhow
I thank that if if your brother helps out and is not doing anything that hurts your family then your husband should be ok with it you cant get back the time you lost with your brother and you dont know when Gods going to say its time for him or you to go so spend as much time with him as you can if your husband dont like it then he can leave
How long you’ve known this newfound brother? Why is he staying with you to begin with? You can get to know him while he lives somewhere else. I think you should take your family into consideration. However, if it was an issue your husband should’ve said something about it from the beginning.
Maybe your husband feels it’s weird bringing a stranger to the house and have him around the girls . Even tho he is your brother he is still a newly stranger and I’m not insinuating anything but I would definitely feel that way. I believe 7 months is a long time to find a room or place he can rent , I mean did you ask your husband if it was ok for him to come and live with you for that long ? In a way it will be a little invasion of privacy and I would feel uncomfortable. And we’ll at the end you have to talk to each other and ask what is it that really bothers him and try to keep calm ha much as posible . Ask him to support you for this time and make sure your brother doesn’t stay longer than planned otherwise it will be another argument. Hopefully he is working already so he can save up .
Tell him he can list your brother as a dependent on his Income tax! That’s $1,100 in his pocket for enjoying a relative who makes his wife happy and cleans up the place. That’s a good deal.
Maybe your bother taking up his and Ur home was what Ur gut feeling was about. U may have Unconditional love for this man but u should understand he’s a stranger to Ur husband.
Ps. Family likes to take advantage of family, your husband might catch on to it first! He is the man u loved and found to be a part of Ur life
Try to see this from the other point of view. Say it was him that found a long lost sister. Moved her in and all. Probably fine until it’s been several months and for whatever reason you don’t like her being there. Shouldn’t he encourage her to get a place of her own? Or should he just expect that he can do whatever he pleases and you should shut up about your feeling on it because he’s happy. Maybe for awhile but…7 months? Dude. Help him get a place of his own.
I understand you want your brother around but me careful you really don’t know him
I agree with your husband. I wouldt be okay with that. That’s a very long time to be staying with you. You don’t even really know your brother. You shouldn’t have him in your home with your children
I agree with your husband. He’s still technically a stranger, and if he isn’t paying Bill’s, he’s freeloading. .
Wow people on this thread are so selfish! If it’s as she said , that shes sacrificed a lot for her family as well? It’s bringing her happiness from a very much traumatic experience, then so be it . Now 7 months is a bit long. Need to have the what are your plans talk and by 9 months should be on his way .
He is acting like a little brat…a little kid. Idk girl?? Fck that
Brooks but she excepts his children , so they don’t live with them , but she puts up with them nearly every week-end , he’s selfish .
Get a new husband! And your brother had plenty of time to find his own place!
The biggest question is did you and your husband have a conversation about him staying with you for that length of time before you move to men because if you did and he agreed then he’s not really holding up to his end of things but if you did not and you just moved to men then he kind of has a right to be upset maybe he’s not upset that your brother’s there maybe he is upset that you didn’t talk to him first there’s a lot missing I mean more context is definitely needed to make a better judgment as to whether or not your husband is being unreasonable or if you’re being unreasonable
Don’t push it he will come around
Which relationship is more important? Would you really want to lose the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with? Kindness is one thing but marriage is another.
Help him find a place to stay, keep your relationship as a wife to your hubby.
Kinda shocked by the comments. But. Gonna say this family first yr husband can suck it up … yr all yr brother has. So help him out but let him take advantage of you …give him a time limit on how long he can stay help him find job or a place to go
Your husband should be supportive. Especially if you’ve sacrificed for him and his kids and this houseguest is clean and respectful. It almost seems as if he’s okay with your selflessness as long as it benefits HIM and his kids. For him to act that way when you’ve found a brother you said yourself you’ve grown close to is unfair and childish. You said you’re the happiest you’ve ever been and anyone that loves you would support whatever your journey is without petty selfishness.
You just found out your father is not your biological father. You sure he is your brother? With kids I would never allow anyone to stay with me then 7 months fuck no where was he staying before that?
If you’ve been supportive of him, made sacrifices for all of them then he needs to stop being an ass and actually be supportive.
I’ve been through a similar situation myself where I found out my dad was not my biological dad…and in finding the biological dad I found a heap of half siblings. I have met one of them and interacted with others over social media, but I would never invite them to my home for 7 months. They are strangers to me, and at the end of the day just because they share my blood doesn’t mean they share my heart. I am all for you getting to know your brother, what an amazing experience. But living in your home for pretty much an indefinite amount of time with your daughters is not something I agree with. Just my personal opinion though 
I’m sorry I completely disagree with most of you. Imagine not having a family and then one day you are lucky enough to find them. It’s better than winning the lottery. If you are married to somebody and you love them then their happiness should mean more to you than how long their newly connected brother is staying, especially if he is helping out and he has a move out date already set. You can replace a lot of things in life but family isn’t one of them. Seven months goes by fast and why not give her that time to make up for all the time she previously lost. He is being selfish and she deserves to be happy.
Pick witch relationship that means the most
So everyone can have a piece of mind about your brother do a background check on your brother. If he has nothing to hide then there shouldn’t be an issue. Just saying you do have children. I did a background check on my fiance when we first met. I had two teenagers and 3 you younger ones from 10-5. I have three step children and embraced them like my own 11 yrs ago. I am just as protective of them as if they were mine. Honesty and communication is the best policy.
Maybe he’s a bit jealous for your attention or sees your brother doing more than he does? And he’s scared you’ll expect those things of him? Just a guess. Explain to him how important this is to you. Try planning a date night for just the 2 of you and don’t bring up your brother. Show him it won’t take anything from the 2 of you. But I think it’s wonderful that you’re getting to know him! Yes 7 months is a bit tough but as long as he’s trusting, helpful and gives you guys alone time, I think it’s great!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My newly discovered brother is living with us and my husband hates it, what should I do?
Is your brother working and saving his money? He should at the least help with groceries and some cash for electric and such. Make sure you keep the deadline for him moving out. Also, make an effort to spend more time with your husband.
Write or record what you said above.
7 months to find his own place?
Too much drama for me!!
Tell hi to leave give him 7 days to find his own place.
It sounds like your marriage is 1 sided. If you’ve done a lot for his family and your brother is actually helping then your husband should be more understanding
I would probably agree with your husband, sorry. He is practically a stranger, it sounds like. Just my opinion, but I don’t like extra houseguests.
Before you found all this out, what was your relationship with your Hubby like? Could he maybe feel insecure because you are paying him less attention? Have you changed? Not necessarily physically, but emotionally? Maybe take a step back and see try identify what changed on your end so you can address those changes with him. Most men don’t know how to communicate when their egos are bruised or when they feel insecure. Good luck.
Ur husband sounds selfish. Especially since uv bent over backwards for him and his kids. And given the fact that u just found out ur adopted and trying to figure things out and make a connection with ur brother, ur husband is being completely selfish and unreasonable. Hopefully u spoke with him before ur brother moved in with u both, and got his approval, including living arrangements. If not, that is where some of this resentment may be coming from. Maybe ur husband doesn’t see ur brother as helpful and as nice as u do. Try and find out why he doesn’t want him there. I get that it may be a huge inconvenience for him and the kids, but given the circumstances, maybe u guys can come up with a compromise. For example, instead of 7 months, maybe 4 months he can stay with you. Perhaps if ur brother spends some time with ur husband one on one, that might help too. Explain to ur husband uv bent over backwards for him, and cite examples. Ask him how he would like it if the shoe were on the other foot and u no longer did those things for him and his kids? A marriage is a two way street, and if he can’t see to helping u out in such an important situation, I don’t see how ur marriage is going to survive. Selfishness has no place in a marriage.
I will be more than cautious to let a stranger( your brother has miles to go to warm up to your whole family) live in my house, when my kids are there as well.
Please keep your eyes open too and never leave your kids alone with your brother.
I actually don’t blame your husband as it’s like bringing a stranger to your house and that too for 7 months. There are plenty of ways for your brother to find his own lodgings. The first step is to tell him to get a job( from what i gather he’s just a tag-along), your marital bliss should come before .