My niece and I like the same guy, did I do the right thing?

There is this guy we dated for awhile and broke up a year and half ago because of outside issue.

We started talked just recently. It’s clearly obvious that both of us never moved on after a year and half and we both care deeply for each other.

Then comes well my niece. She’s has mutual friends with him. And she’s has always wanted to be with him and he has turned her down and looks at her like a kid. I know this bugs her the wrong way.

So him and I made plans to meet up at the park. With my children. My niece calls me up and asked if I babysit her kids. I said yes of course. I called him up and said hey I’ll have two extra kids and it’s going to take me longer to get the kids to the park now.

My niece drops off her kids and then go straight to his house. He’s on the phone with me and says oh your niece asked if he could look at her car (she is having issues with it). He let’s me no when she got there and when she left.
I was slightly annoyed because she was supposed to be running around doing things well I watch her children plus she was all dolled up.
Throughout the day he asked if I need any help. We are texting all day. Then he calls me and I give him an update on my time and he tells me that my niece is over and they are chilling in his drive way.
It struck a nerve because he told me they never hang out, she told me they never hang out. And then twice in one day they are hanging out.

I said I’m sorry this isn’t going to work out and I hung up and deleted him.

I know my niece played him but he was to dense to see it.

I guess my advice is did I do the right thing. I feel I’m way to old for any bullshit and drama. I didn’t explain myself or y I was upset. But I feel common sense is needed here.

I’m baby sitting her children and getting ready to go see him and she went over there to hang out with him well she knew I was getting ready to see him.

She blew up my phone saying none of her friends are home and she finished everything early and was just bored and wanted to chill with someone. But still I’m in my 30s. This guy is two years older then me. I feel this situation is self explanatory.

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You did the right thing. You are a grown woman with kids. You don’t have time to play with these 2. A real man would have told her umm sorry but I am meeting your aunt at the park right now. Here is the number of a mechanic you can take your car to. A man interested in you would not make time to hang out with another women. He does not see her as a child so get that out of your head.
He wants you but also wants attn from the young thing too and prob more then attn…Nothing good will come from this. There is a reason she keeps going there. It’s because he hasn’t shut it down!
You have to know your worth. You and your kids deserve someone dedicated and not distracted.
Move on and don’t look back!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My niece and I like the same guy, did I do the right thing?

Sounds like alot of drama. Your 30 to old for that kind of stuff. Move on and find someone else

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Move on lol no man is worth fighting for.

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He’ll likely be trying to screw you both and brag to his friends about it… and she doesn’t sound any better…

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Tbh your niece is a pos lol. And so is dude if he knows she feels for him he shouldn’t be entertaining it at all. I think you did the right thing also don’t watch her kids no more sounds like she used you

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I don’t like your niece, she’s crossing a huge line… you should wash your hands of your niece as well

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I’d say you were so right. She’d likely stir the pot if you continued. If you’re looking for drama free I’d avoid them both

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What in the family matters is going on here?

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Legit dont watch her kids like that… your niece is gross… and hes no better knowing her intentions

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I think she’s thr one in the wrong here but whatever. He turned her down. I would just cut my loses unless he well establishes that he is just not into her and makes himself very clear to that but even then your niece may try making moves on him even more.

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Too much drama there. I would leave him go too. Not worth the time or heartbreak between all 3 of you. No reason to compete for him, there are other men out there!

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I feel sooner or later he would have finally acted on her advances and she would have came to you to brag about it. I’d say stop talking to both of them. I’m 34 and I would shut that drama down so quick, I’m too old for those types of games.

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Sounds like he’s playing the both of you and a lot of drama. I wouldn’t want my kids around that.

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Call the guy so he knows exactly why and let him know what you think of him hanging out with someone so much younger .than cut that lowlife backstabbing toxic niece out of your life .she knew exactly what she was doing

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You should move on! This dude and your niece obviously have no respect for you. I wouldn’t watch her kids either she shouldn’t be having other people watch them so she can hang out with her aunts ex boyfriend :roll_eyes:

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If a man cared for you or cared for her he would not put either one of y’all in that position. He’s the only one that knows what he is doing

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Tell your niece to fix her daddy issues elsewhere & find another sitter. Don’t watch her kids so she can go see him. Be too busy for a while.
And yes, you did the right thing.
Until he tells her to back off, stay away.

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He didn’t do anything wrong he told you that she was there nad they were talking in his driveway whats the issue? Your causing drama where there was none. Your niece is in the wrong for sure but also at the same time your not exclusive. You say your grown well grown up people talk not just hang up and delete someone over something that very well could of been innocent. I’d say if you truly have feelings for him be an adult and talk to him and if not then he must not honestly be very important so maybe its better for him for you to walk away.

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The fact that he’s keeping you in the know about what’s going on tells me he’s trying to be honest about it all. But , I don’t understand why he hasn’t told her he has plans and can’t hang.
You did right telling him your not into drama. I would also tell your niece the same. No more sitting.

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You should move on girl… I hate seeing women settling for what they want rather than what they deserve… I promise I have been through the ringer and seen it all but there is someone out there that’s going to give you everything out of a man that you deserve… There’s a man that’s just for you, one that’s not gonna make you feel like an option but the like your the only woman in the world… Wait for him!!! Wait for that man bc I promise you he is there … and your niece🙄 who even does that!!! That’s betrayal and so sneaky.

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Wow your niece is in the wrong

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And him 4 entertaining her

Those are HER kids, give her HER kids back, she can find HER OWN childcare, bc SHE PLAYED YOU

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Ghost the guy and tell your niece to watch her own damn kids :v:t2:

Like, I woulda said “Oh my niece got time to chill, tell her to come get her kids since she ain’t busy”
2 can play, baby.

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Let the trash be together. They both sound like they are garbage people. You definitely did the right thing. Your niece is gross and is obviously using you, I wouldn’t be watching her kids anymore lol.

Don’t watch her kids again. She knew what she was doing and she’s shit for it. Don’t do her any favors, it seems she’s the type that’ll stab you in the back in a heartbeat. Tell him ( if you want him) that you won’t have her around period because of how she is and see what he says then. Family or not, she’s isn’t someone you can trust. Men are stupid like that often but she knew what she was doing and has no respect for you in the process.

Sounds like too much drama for me. I think you did the right thing

One word ; t.r.a.s.h

Don’t think the issue was with him. That’s your niece. He kept you in the loop. Your niece however is going after someone you have already dated & are currently talking with. That’s shady & gross on your niece’s part.

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Too much drama here, doesn’t matter if he is playing which he is, or she is which she is too, drop him. Too much going on here. It will ruin all relationships here

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Drop them both. Delete and block him and stop watching her kids.

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Your niece is gross and disrespectful i would have told her to come pick her kids up

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Boy bye! You did the right thing. Your niece is shady and has no self respect nor respect for you. He needs to man up and tell your niece he’s not interested and to leave him alone. He failed to do so. He’s playing both yall

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If she finished she should’ve come gotten her kids and he should’ve encouraged her to get them and told her he was leaving to meet you. I’d be mad at both of them for sure.

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Your niece sounds like two hands full. I would’ve dropped her children off to her, whether she was still on his driveway or not- and still moved on with my life for him entertaining the idea and blowing you off. Too much drama to stick around either one.

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I would have dropped the kids off at his house. Smh. She clearly had enough time to watch her own children. Kudos to you though for shutting that whole situation down. If he’s going to keep hanging out with your niece then let her have him. He’s not worth it.

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Where are the days of loyalty esp with family! Don’t know why your niece has something to prove or whatever but i think ya did the right thing
Move on you sound mature enough to know that you don’t need the Bs and perhaps fight with a family member while this dude could be gone next week…tell her to shove him up her arse and if he does go with her you knew his intentions all along…best of luck girl

Sounds like your niece is trying to have another kid for you to watch. Yeah. He kept you in the loop but come on dude, that’s too much drama you did the right thing

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I would have dropped her kids off to chill as well. Delete his ass and move on!

If she finished early she should have got her kids! She sounds like a real piece of work, I wouldn’t trust her at all.

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Yes too old for drama move on

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Don’t look back! Good job!

I don’t think this is his fault. Poor guy is probably clueless.

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Well played niece. I hope she knows about a little thing called karma. :laughing: And karma don’t babysit anymore. :laughing:

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Ain’t no one got time for childish games, find a real man and be happy :purple_heart:

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nope exit the drama is the right thing to do

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DROP your niece too ( after you smack her just once in the mouth hard enough to knock just a cpl teeth out) Clearly there were lessons she missed in life!!

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You definitely did the right thing. If he had feelings for you he would have blocked her and continued to work on a relationship with you. Instead it was like he was playing games.

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Let’s now talk about him…do you want to waste your time on someone like him. It was not only your niece playing. You say his two dense to see her ways. I don’t think so. He is playing both of you.

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Sounds like you were the one that got played and they got a free sitter. You did the right thing.

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Your niece sounds like trash.
I would have dropped her kids off to her, whether it be in his driveway or not. Right there in her face, tell him. “I’m not playing no games here. You want to entertain trash (looks pointedly at said piece of trash) go ahead play that game. I’m not sticking around for this shizz.”
And dropped both of them

Set ur ground tell her get another baby sitter from now own n kick him to the curv r u will continue to have problems with them both

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I’m not sure if this is his fault. He doesn’t seem like he has a clue what’s going on between your niece and you. My question is why are you babysitting her kids still knowing she’s doing this to you after obviously she knows you like this man? I would of gone over there with her children and said believe these are yours. He invited you over, sounds like she just invites herself. Not saying you have to make a scene. Then I would say thanks for inviting me over but I’m not going to stay today. If he texts you and talks with you, why aren’t you telling him what bothers you. Men are clueless. You have to be very open and honest.

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I would drop them BOTH!

You’re too old for the drama. Dude was probably trying to have his cake and eat it too. Move on.

Honestly you niece should b with her kids. Shes playing u and him. Fuck em both cuz they dont deserve a girl like you.

Definitely did the right thing.

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If you know it you know it

I think if your in your 30’s and still acting this childish over a man you need to be single. A grown person would have established boundaries from the begging with both of them. No. Nothing is ever obvious. Only women think that way. It was obvious to your niece what she was doing. And even so, why didn’t you call her out? Why didn’t you take the kids over there to her and start your outing? No man is worth this for sure, and it’s kind of gross that your niece even wants someone you’ve been with but all that you just did was straight childish. Adults communicate.

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Don’t watch her kids she should be taking them with her and obviously the guy likes your niece too or.he is just leading you both on

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Get rid of both of them is the thing to do. Never introduce her to any of your future guys. He’s no good to begin with. All of this is common sense. You did the right thing.

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I’d drop them both . For sure and be done and move on . Because it’s only gonna get worse . And when something happens between him and her she’s just gonna brag . I wouldn’t be watching her kids anymore either .

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You’re niece is in the wrong

Never in your story do you say you guys are officially an item. Saying something is “obvious” and something actually being are different things. It doesn’t sound like you have any official claim on him. Your niece is out of line for sure, but if you guys are not officially an exclusive couple, you really have no cause to be concerned with who he hangs out with. If he wants to get involved with someone like that, that’s his issue. Regardless of what happens, what is currently happening is not healthy and you should cut your losses and move on.

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Nope you’re good stop watching her kids too so you don’t have be the middle man in the drama literally free yourself from it.
You’re told old to play games yes that’s for 20 years olds.

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Rouggghhhh.
But I wouldn’t be so quick to get pissed at him. Men are allowed to have friends ya know? But if you know the niece is playing a game and trying to get with him. Talk to him about it. His actions from there shows his respect for you.
You say you are grown and have no time for games but wont even give the person you are seeing the respect enough to communicate about it? You want a relationship to last you learn to talk things out and ALL of it. The good, the ugly, you talk about it and not let it fester or explode. JS 🤷 like yes I would be very upset with my niece but he hasn’t done anything wrong. He didn’t even hide the fact she was there. So? 🤷😬 he was honest and open about her being there. I say that alone shows he has some respect for you. Idk 🤷

Just do you and stop with the both of them lol

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I think you did the right thing but I don’t agree with everyone saying to drop your niece. She’s probably just young and being dumb and she’ll probably be embarrassed by her behavior when she gets older.

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Ask her if she likes your sloppy seconds

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They’re both playing you.

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Girl he is not worth it

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how old is your niece? fs she has kids shes old enough to know basic boundries… If she knows you like him or are dating him, why is she reaching out to this guy? all i know is id be telling my niece to back tf up and id also be telling this guy to bounce… There are far too many men in this world to fight over some guy who clearly seems to be playing you both

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Yeah I would text her back and tell her that she can have him. That both of them can just do what they do and leave you out of it. She’s not gonna stop chasing him, and he isn’t going to put her in her place.

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You’re her aunt. I mean. This isn’t some female. Y’all should sit down and have a talk. Point blank period. Like you said you are in your 30s. Let’s communicate instead of trying get one up.

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First off, I would’ve told her to come get her children ASAP!!!

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Holy shit
Jerry Jerry jerry

I mean, he did tell you she was there. A dude trying to play wouldn’t have said :poop:

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Your niece SUCKS man.

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Your niece is young, single and has kids, she’s looking for someone to take care of her and she thinks he’d do a good job. He’s older and probably likes the attention more than he’s willing to admit, but at least did the right thing by being honest with you about her being there. It’s not like he lied to you about something “coming” up and then blew you off. By you acting the way you did, you sort of created the drama by throwing a little hissy fit instead of taking control of the situation. You should have been like, “Oh that’s awesome! That means she’s done with her errands. Tell her to wait there, I’ll bring the kids by and then you and I can walk to the park.” … If you are going to be the bigger person, you just need to act like it.

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You had already dated him once which means he’s permanently off bounds for her
Common sense
Also I’d stop watching her kids see how free she is then

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Niece is being scandalous and should not cross those boundaries.you probably need to put some distance between yall

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Talk to them both. If you want him, have him. He obviously doesn’t want the neice.

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Eeeewwww.
All 3 of you are out of line.

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Stop watching her kids and she won’t have time to run around….
Also, not worth the drama.

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He should have told her he had a date and left.

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I wish this said your age and the nieces age. I would simply be done with him AND MY NIECE!!! DUPMP HER TOO!!!

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I wonder if anyone on this page actually realizes that these posts are not “real.”
The person who runs this page puts a lot of thought and imagination into these posts and these are just posted to show the differences in everyone’s reactions and opinions.

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Smh oh f*ck all that BS. I’d tell them both to shove off. She’d be finding another babysitter for awhile cause that would piss me off. That’s weird AF too…he should know better and so should she.

Your niece a hoe a dangerous relentless one at that I’d stay away too because in her head she has plan and she not gonna stop till she gets what she wants. And men sometimes are purposely dumb and he may fall into her trap it’s only a matter of time. And after it happens you’d never look at them the same way as far as your niece goes I’d never babysit for her again neither.

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Oh she definitely played you and I think he’s playing y’all both. I would run the other way! Way too much drama bs there. I’d drop them both. Bye :wave: :wave:

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Are you positive He is to blame too? Sounds like your neiece initiated the contact, not him. Personally I wouldn’t let any woman make Me that suspicious, even a relative. Did you at least talk to him and explain what is up.

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They both stuck… She may have played him but he let her… And she majorly disrespected you. I would never watch her kids again

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I’m sorry . Your being played. By both of them. Respect yourself.

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Let your niece have him, you sure your over 20?

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Guys can be dumb in these situations. Your niece was the vindictive one. You already have a history with this guy, so be honest and forthright, tell him you don’t want the crap or any family drama and decide from there

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I’d be more concerned with him….why does he keep hanging out with her, that’s nowhere near appropriate. How old is she? Also tell your niece there will be no more watching her kids

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I’m calling Jerry Springer

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