Umm. Are your parents retired? Do you announce it ask if you can go over? Are you there when they are home or when they are gone? There are aww lot of factors. Maybe you’re invading their adult time. Maybe they’re trying to have some afternoon s3x and you’re killing the vibe. Maybe you’re over there making a mess and using up their food and resources like you still live there and it’s your house. It’s not. This is a very selfish point of view for your post. What you’re feeling, needs to be felt. You need to work through this issue YOU have about rejection and being denied something. Also, there’s no reason for you to be bored if you have kids, a husband and a house to look after. Cook, clean, do laundry, find a hobby or a tv series to watch. Figure out how too contribute financially so you can move from the place that makes you feel so unsafe that you can’t be there alone. Take a self defense class. Go work out. Go for a walk. Get a dog and train it. So many things you can do with your time, besides invade someone else’s space. Honestly it sounds like you have a problem being alone and you need to have someone occupying the same space. That’s not healthy and you should probably work on that.
Expose that guy Mr don’t tell…
Girl, YOU EVEN JUST SAID YOU KNOWWWWWW THEY WILL HELP with your move etc!!! So the truth is YOUR GOING OVER THERE WAY TOO MUCH and they are BOTH good to you… lol… However, talk to your mom and let her know… Oh an fyi, your sister having her baby watched by them IS 100% DIFFERENT than YOU A GROWN WOMAN being over there soooooo… ???.. Idk… I feel bad your uncomfortable but it sounds like you don’t get it… 
… Sry but sounds like you need to get used to YOUR home!
It’s ok to want a break from people you love! Give them a couple weeks. Everything will be fine!
Why don’t you colour your hair at home.? Maybe you could get a part time job instead of going there so often.
Talk to your mother !!! U truly never know other peoples motives. But that is your mother. Never let someone tell u something like that and think she will agree.
If you have that much free time on your hands, do something more productive like get a job or even go to school. It would get you out of the house that you don’t feel safe in, bring in more money for your family, and it’ll get you socializing with adults. Your parents will still help you move, but I don’t want them for wanting some space if you’re over there every single day. They have to deal with your sisters kid. It just doesn’t make much sense to me for an adult with their own family to go hangout at their parents house all day. You couldn’t dye your hair at your house? Go get yourself a job or attend classes, it’ll only improve your life.
You’re not going there to see him (dad) you’re there to see mum. Make that point clear. And, leave them be x seems you’ve learned to live with the way things are. Doesn’t mean you should settle for it. Be straight up lol Good luck.
Talk to your mother, not in an accusatory way but in a ‘if you feel I’m spending too much time here it’s okay to say so’ sort of way so that she’ll feel more comfortable in giving you an honest answer. Honestly, if you’re spending most days there then they likely do need a break, if any family member was spending that much time at our house then I’d feel the same… it’s their home and wanting more time and space to themselves is understandable. What is it about your place that makes you feel unsafe? Do you not work, or is there not some other way you can spend the day out of your house?
I would just go and have a talk with your mom. Maybe your step dad doesn’t want you over there and is just using the excuse that your mom doesn’t because he thinks it’ll cause less of an issue
The idea of having children is that you raise them to be responsible adults who move out and live on their own. That way if you want to chase your hubby butt naked through the house with a ping pong paddle you ain’t got your grown ass kid in the way keeping you from doing so! Just saying give them some alone time it’s hard to be even the slightest bit freaky with a house full of kids. Your adults now let your parents be free to let the “kinky” out. 
Sit and talk with your mom
Nope, I’d definitely talk to my mom. Ain’t no way I’m letting a “step” parent tell me I need to stop coming over and to not mention it my actual parent
You need to move to a safe place and call your mum over .so she gets to spend time with her grandkids.Find other things to do so your not bored.Gardening is a great hobby.You can do some volunteer work.
You literally need to literally get a job. Literally.
Yall are hanging out with your parents for fun??
Well, if you feel unsafe in your current living environment, do something to get yourself out of it. Get a job, save money, etc.
Your parents telling you to not come over all the time, suggests you spend more time over there than you should. I visit my mom once a week and my mother in law 2-3 times a month. I love spending time with them, but I also know not to over step my welcomes.
Girl let them be ctfu they want a break from yall. Shit my in-laws made the comment before “Our kids is older our job is done!” That dont mean they dont love their kids. Shit they wanna enjoy life too. And if you feel unsafe where you live…then its time to be a big girl and move.
After they help you move talk to your mom about what you step dad had saidits most likely him that said it
I’d ask mom. Step parents are weird but I’d definitely talk to mom
The fact that he told you not to tell your mother says a lot! Feel out your mom in a nice way to find out if your invading their space or just his space either way it could mean you need to find other places to spend your time or try to move to a happier place
Talk to your Mother!
This is what I would do… I’d have a very VERRRY kind conversation with your mother. Tell her that if you coming over during the day gets to be too much for her then please please feel free to tell you personally that maybe she needs a day to relax or an “alone day” and for her not to be worried to tell you. Then you can say that stepdad told you to take a break from coming over and it hurt your feelings but above that you dont want to to be a bother so just try to keep the communication open. No secrets and acknowledge their feelings along with letting them know how you feel. It’s just about good communication.
I’d talk to your mom. The fact that he was like don’t tell you mom is weird flag to me! Ummm no I’m telling my mom everything always have always will.
And everyone tell her to get a job she might not be able to fit a part time job in because she drops off and picks up her kids up from school so has limited hours or has appointments as well. I have a job and still have plenty of time on my hands but cannot really add a part time job somewhere cause I have school drop off and pick up and I have appointments almost every day of the week so to pick up a job the fill the time I have wouldn’t work.
I would ask your mom. Maybe he’s lying.
Talk to mom girl, I feel as if she did not say this and he did.
Y’all ever think maybe he told her what his wife has said to him in confidence?
Maybe mom doesn’t want her over all the time but doesn’t want to hurt her feelings so he stepped up to be the bad guy for his wife’s sake
I agree with step dad. Sometimes people want days without visitors. That’s totally ok. He may have been an A hole in the way he said it, but he isn’t wrong
It’s always good to talk it out and not keep it in your heart. It’s your mom she’s probably the closest it’s not worth keeping this to yourself and distancing. Have a calm conversation with her, choose your words wisely tell her how u feel without offending her in anyway. Maybe the talk will turn out good and u will feel relieved. 
I would definitely find out if mom feels the same way, maybe it’s just him
I’d ask your mom how long the break needed to be before you can visit again. I bet dad didn’t discuss it with mom if he told you not to say anything
Find a job or a hobby, they watch kids and they watch you .it’s tiring
Bring it up obviously it sounds suspicious that he said not to mention it to your mom
I’d talk to
Your mom.
let your mom know what he said… it may be him not your mom… ask her to be straight forward even though it may hurt… if he did this on his own she needs to know… my ex used to do those things to me all the time without my knowledge…
Everyone saying to find a hobby and not visit your mom is ridiculous. I would be talking to my mom to find out what was going on. If my mom wanted me not to come over and visit she would tell me herself. I believe it’s just the stepdad being a jerk and not wanting her to come over.
Why did he say not to say anything? Sounds suspicious to me. Go ask your mom. Tell him to stay out of your relationship with your mom. Also let him know that you don’t go to visit him, only her lol.
Speak to ur mom how u feel
I say red flag…he is trying to isolate your mom and control her
0He told you because your Mom complained to him but didn’t have the nerve to tell you herself…
Sorry but I feel the same way .I love having my grand kids whenever I can but my kids are adults and I sick of them hanging out to do things like coloring their hair or burrowing from me.
I love them but they have homes of their own and this is my time to live my life.
Having them over for meals and holidays and such is wonderful but it’s time to grow up.
How would you like it if we came to your house to hang out and mess up your house all the time ?
I will always be their Mother and help when I can…and I love them dearly but seriously this is my retirement time.
GROW UP XXX
Sit down with your mom and talk it out. Something is up…and its not good. Your mom probably doesnt even know about the stuff your step dad said. She may need a break but let her tell you.
Maybe they just want some space? There’s not really a nice way to say it
talk to your Mom, maybe your step dad is feeling this way but your Mom isnt? if my Mother was still alive i wouldnt care what my step dad said, id be visiting her until she told me otherwise.
Tell your mother! Likely HE doesn’t want you there and is why he said not to tell her.
I would just tell your mom like hey if I’m getting on your nerves or you need some space you can tell me. You don’t have to feel bad about being honest with me. Then you can tell from her reaction if it was her saying that or dad. And for y’all saying that the dad doesn’t have any say he really does. That’s his house and he has just as much right as the mom to be like dude go home.
Bring it up to your mom as if it’s your original idea and watch for her response. Put them on yourself and see if she agrees or attempts dissuade you.
I bet your mom has no clue he told u that. I would most definitely have a conversation with her
Why don’t you get a job or a hobby? Maybe they want to spend time together? But you should bring it up to your mom.
Tell ur mum wat he said… My step dad done this untill he could keep me away from my sick mum to the point he isolated her may not be the same story but I would definitely tell ur mum n don’t let him put the wedge between u n ur mum I wish I didn’t let him succeed in pushin me out coz my mum would still be alive
I would definitely talk to mom if he said dont tell your mom I told you which means she probably hadn’t said anything about it,
Well slow down with the visits. ask your mom why in front of him Maybe they want alone time after baby sitting and still ask for help. I mean everyone wants some quality time. And when you visit how long do you stay??? Do you think maybe they might think you are trying to move in?
I would NEVER deny My kids or step kids to come over to my house….they can stay and hang out anytime they please. I may not always be entertaining but I would never tell them they can’t come over or they spend too much time…. That’s really sad.
Definitely tell your mum
Leave them alone. Don’t go over there. If your Mum queries your behavior then tell her that your step father told you to stop going. If she doesn’t query you then she probably ranted to her husband that you visit too much.
Talk to your mom and step dad both. At the same time. With your husband present. if you’ve not told your husband, tell him first.
Do you help her with the sister’s kid? Do you keep her from napping when the child naps? Do you help her with household chores or cooking or do favors for your mom and stepdad when you go over? Or do you talk to her (or worse, complain) while she has to watch the child, do you eat their food, use their utilities, sit around and watch TV and are generally a burden? How would you feel if a neighbor came over for 8 hours a day two or more times a week to take all your time and mooch off you?
Why don’t YOU watch your sister’s child while she works and give your mom a break? Or each of you take care of the child 2-3 days a week at your own places?
Volunteer, take a class (cooking language, arts maybe?), get a job, develop a fitness routine, learn to repair things in your house and car or to build things by yourself (You Tube, online tutorials or actual hands-on classes). Develop a skill, get a certificate or degree. You’re a grown woman, act like one instead of running to mommy saying, “I’m boooored!”
Do you have enough money saved as a couple for 3-6 months of unemployment? Do you have enough money of your own to be able to leave your husband and get a place of your own should things go bad? Do you have a budget? If not, why not? Develop short-term and long-term plans for the future. Come up with ideas and discuss them with your spouse. What are each of your ultimate career goals? What do you each hope to accomplish in the next year, 5 years, 10 years, by retirement age, after you retire? What needs to happen for you to reach and have the funds to achieve your goals?
Do you have any investments? It’s how you can build wealth. Do you want to buy a house, a boat, travel or save for another big-ticket item or experience? When will you need to look at new appliances, new carpeting or floor repairs, a new (to you) car? Plan for maintenance and replacement of everything and budget for it.
Do you have children or do you want to have them? Have you saved for their expenses? Have you started a 529 education plan for their education? Have you made a long-term plan for the future? All reasons to start earning money at a part or full time job. Maybe if you contributed to expenses you could move someplace less “scary.”
Are there illnesses that run in your families that make either of you more susceptible to them? Do you need to earn and save money for potential heart, joint, cancer or dementia problems down the road?
Sorry this is harsh, but being self-sufficient is part of growing up. Don’t you have friends you can visit too? Plus, it seems my housework and other chores are never done—how do you keep up and have so much free time?
Good luck! Reading good books is a great way to entertain yourself and expand your knowledge. Libraries are wonderful and have more than books. Try your hand at poetry or other types of writing. Visit museums, volunteer to be a theater or museum docent, there are a million ways to not be bored! Maybe keep visits with your mom to once a week for an hour or two only.
Everyday your over there? I mean maybe they do need a break and that should be ok… saying well she has my sisters kids is not a reason to over step boundaries
Idk I just feel like your dad was putting up healthy boundaries. Maybe they wanted to enjoy their time together. Just don’t go over and if your mom asks why then tell her but I wouldn’t get caught up in the drama. Maybe I’m different but if I’m not wanted somewhere i don’t even wanna go there
Definitely bring it up with your mom. If it was me I’d have to know if my mom really felt that way. You could be feeling down over something your mom never even said!
The fact he’s asked you not to mention it to your mom shows its him making this decision not your mom. I’d ring her and talk to her about it. Also if you don’t feel safe where you live, if possible try move. Life is too short to spend in places that make you feel unhappy or unsafe x
There has to be more to this story. Like does your mom enable you? Are you there with a sob story seeking handouts after making poor choices? Help is assisting where you can without hurting yourself and it may be hurting their household. They don’t have to explain to a grown child anything. The man might just want some peace and ya mama might not be able to say no when she should and he’s putting his foot down as the man of the house. Don’t compare yourself to your sis , we all have different relationships child or no child. Like I know both of mine are different, one needs more attention, one is more sensitive etc
Hope it all works out for you
Why do ya’ll take this so personally ?? Parents need space too, we are older, slower, and well…f*@$ we already raised you. We KNOW it will hurt you if we say something about “our time”, so often we just don’t say a word. And if you ask me outright if I want you there ?? As a mother ?? I would lie and say yes, because what mother can say that without her child feeling hurt…even if they are adults, and see it’s truth. Me ?? I LOVE my four now adult children, AND my grandchildren, even the “add on items” [spouses] warrant a my life for theirs affection from me. But…this is MY TIME. And…MY HOUSE too. I busted my ass raising my kids, and although I LOVE my every family Saturday’s, Holiday’s, Birthdays, and our once a year vacation with everyone…it is exhausting if it lasts more then a few days. You ask a lot of your parents without even realizing it…so be kind.
** As for the Dad in this story ?? Why be so quick to judge ?? He is the person who sees his wife’s most private moments, hears her most private thoughts…and her rock when she cannot do/say the hard stuff…cut him some slack, he just loves his wife, and at this point in their lives ?? All the kids grown with lives of their own?? That is so very important.
I ask this, how would YOU feel if your mother was coming and hanging out at YOUR house every day ??
“So I usually go over to my parents house during the day.” and then “I only went over twice this week.” Do you go over daily or only a couple times a week? I’m assuming you take your kids, do you take care of them over there or does your mom do it? It seems by your saying, “My sister literally has them watch her kid all the time.” that you’re actually going over there so someone else can watch your kids. Judging by what your stepdad said I’d assume that’s exactly what you’re doing and it’s obviously stressing and/or wearing your mom out but being your mom she would never say so too you but apparently has said something to your stepdad. Maybe you should think about why it is you’re really going over there so often and is it fair too your mom. Like literally. 
Do what’s healthy for you. I could spend hours at the library…magazines, books, audio books and the internet. Hope you get to feeling better!
I mean I get it, I have my own life and my parents have theirs, I love them but I wouldn’t want them at my house everyday and vice versa. I appreciate our time together but I also like to live my own life.
It sounds like your parents need a break. At some point as parents we get exhausted caring for our grown adult children still. Do something sweet for them like a gift certificate to their favorite restaurant and let them have some room. They love you, call them, communicate but distance alittle.
My kids hardly ever come to my house as they are busy family and sports, intherarly years they did when their kids were little. And I wish they would come more often
Tell your mom how you feel. If you have a good relationship with her, she should listen to your feelings and talk it out instead of going around the main point. It might just be the step dad who is causing the conflict, not your mom.
I would speak to your Mom! I can’t imagine ever saying that to my child. I hope its a misunderstanding!! Please, talk to your mom and if you need help, ask her for it. I am sorry as that was no doubt hurtful.
Clearly there is favouritism. Though I believe you maybe should not go over to them ingeneral, I do understand why you feel hurt. They might be thinking cuz they let you over so often that they had to let the other sister over too. And she maybe does need their help more than you. Which is why you should stay away because you don’t want to be blamed about that.
Ingeneral they might be telling her too to not to visit and come over all the time.
Ingeneral don’t feel too hurt over this. Shit happens. But I do think you should tell your mum about being told you aren’t welcome over.
Your parents are old yanno. Just think of it as letting them have space. It is what it is. Don’t dwell too much on this or take it to heart. Respect what one of your parent has actually asked of you.
Maybe they wana have afternoon sex.l 
Otherwise talk to your mom. I’m 32 single and still sleep at my parents sometimes when my daughter goes to her dads but they’ve NEVER said I couldn’t come over. Depends on what kind of relationship you have with them
I feel for you so much. I think you should have a heart to heart w your mom if that’s possible. My relationship w my son is strained because I can’t have that conversation
Fuck that. If it’s a step dad and not your dad dad. I would have a grown talk with your mom to find out if that’s true. Or if it’s just the step fathers feelings. To anyone saying you should stay away is selfish. You never know when you are gonna lose your parents so cherish them and love them and visit them while you can now.
I would talk to your mom you should be able to talk and tell each other anything
It’s okay for your parents to need a break.
It’s okay for them to set healthy boundaries for themselves.
It’s also okay to feel wounded and to have a conversation with your mother about what she needs as a woman, a human, not just your mom.
Sounds fishy! Speak to your mom ask her what the deal is. I’d never allow a step dad to tell me that about coming over to my moms place, I don’t have a step dad, my parents are still together and I still live with them but if they should even tell me something like that I’d probably still come lol
I’d talk to your mom. Invite her over for coffee and have a chat. If indeed she does want space (could be just him saying it) then arrange for 2/3 days a week to go visit for a few hours. Or even have your mum over at yours. Him not wanting you to say anything to her could be it’s just him that feels that way and he is saying it’s your mum so he doesn’t look/feel bad about it x
This is my relationship with my family. I’m so sorry you feel this pain too. My dad did this. He complained to my grandpa and my grandpa called me to tell me to stop going as well. My two brothers still live with them and are over 18. It’s heart breaking and I would say it gets easier, but part of me is filled with spite and something that feels like hatred towards my dad. I’m so sorry you feel this way.
I feel compelled to comment. We have 7 grown children and all but 1 have families of their own. We have 14 grandchildren who we love dearly. I also have some health issues. I’m surprised at the amount of people saying “ I would want my kids and grandkids around all the time”. While we are a huge family and we love our kids, grandkids and kids spouses, we also need to have time for just us. We are also farmers who run our own business. We babysit when asked to ( if we don’t have prior commitments), each child has access to our home. They all know where the key is. It can be very tiresome if the kids and grandchildren would come and spend the whole day, every day here. Doesn’t mean we don’t love them. We also buy a zoo pass and take a couple families at a time for a whole day at the zoo. We take each family a couple times a year……. So we go to the zoo A LOT !! Lol At the end of the day, my husband and I aren’t dead, and enjoy doing things that we like to do. We also have a family pond that we have family cookouts at several times during the summer. The families have never just come to our house all Day without calling or texting first to make sure we didn’t have plans for the day. I think it’s important to understand that although your parents love you and your kids…… they also have a life. And if the parents are home everyday, all day, then I question whether there is health issues. Maybe the parents need rest and can’t because the woman is there all the time with her kids. There are soo many variables in the post that I believe all the adults need to have a conversation and hear and respect each other’s feelings. Have a great day !!
I can see why you should and why you shouldn’t say something to your mom, but I personally think you should talk to her for multiple reasons, 1 you need it for yourself, 2 he may not be telling you something from her, 3 this is just me being an ID channel watcher so this is hopefully unlikely in your case, but he might be trying to keep you away for some reason it could be good intentioned or it could be not. Goodluck and im sorry you are going through that, I have actually been in exactly the same spot before and it really hurt me for a long time so I get it and feel free to pm me if you ever need to vent or cry or anything, if you lived near me I would say you could come to my house if you needed.
Ask your mom to be honest with you about how she feels about you spending time there. Honesty is the best policy.
Give them a break and then talk to both of them together. Explain why you go there. If it is just for your self like described then maybe you should look in to a different place to live that you can feel safe to stay home alone in. Don’t get me wrong your mom may want you over all the time. If that’s the case then go and make peace with the step dad. Now there is a limit that you all can live up to. When my mom was alive I went over a lot too.at one point I was asked to stop, but not by mom. So we just which to weekly visit where we went out to lunch or to the movies. After a while my dad started wanting to join us. So it became our thing . once a week we go out or stay in and play cards .I tried to keep it to 3hours and everything worked out.
Don’t go over there unless you’re invited and if your mother asks why you don’t come over tell what her dickhead husband said to you.
Ask your mom about it. There’s a reason he doesn’t want you saying anything to her. I’m guessing he doesn’t want you around as much if y’all don’t have a good relationship.
You should mention it to your mom. Chances are, she may not have even said that or felt that way. And even if, then the two of you can talk about it.
I would take a break and see if your mom calls to ask why you haven’t been over. Then take it from there. That would be a hurtful statement tho, sorry you’re going through this.
Don’t go someplace you aren’t wanted. As a side. Is it possible just he doesn’t want you there and that is why he told you not to mention to your mom?
I would definitely talk to your mom…is there a possibility he’s lying?
TALK TO YOUR MUMMMMMMM not in a confronting way though but more conversational…?
Don’t go over. Dont call. When mom reaches out to you. Let her know what was said and how upset you are 
Talk to your mom, if she feels that way she can tell you herself. It’s not step dads place
Tell him that you are coming to see your mom not him and for him to kiss it
Just ask your mom why she couldn’t be more direct with you.
Tell your mom. No man has a right to say “don’t tell your mother”
I’d have to talk to your mum, especially with him saying don’t tell your mum🤔
Talk to your mom. Invite her out for a girls day. Get her opinion, not his.
I would talk to your mom about it he’s just being sus about it when saying don’t tell your mom
You totally need to talk to your mom
i think you should tell them how your feeling🌹
Talk to your mother he is not your parent. She is. Your there for her.