If they asked you to stay away you should respect their wishes. Why are you even asking us what you should do? They are setting boundaries. Grow up.
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Stay away for a whileā¦ sooner or later your mom will call you and ask you what is going onā¦ then you can tell her what he said. This sounds like he doesnāt want you around and she doesnāt know that he said that and he is trying to stirr the pot.
The fact that he said donāt tell ur mum would be a red flagā¦maybe she knows nothing about this and you should say it to herā¦he should controlling so say it to her
Cut them off and when your mom asks why tell her her husband can tell herā¦
Toughen up and learn to call and ask if theyāre busy first. And it sounds like you were going over a lot. How about once a week?
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Yep,helped make my decision to pack 4 kids& move several states away
You might of worn out your welcome and they are just tired of always having so many people around all the time.
A home should always be thatā¦a homeā¦itās a safe haven for crying out loudā¦.
There is a pandemic. My parents arenāt letting anyone over either.
Have you thought about working so you arenāt bored?
I say this out of love. It is not normal for an adult to spent that much time with their parents. You need friends & it is so hard to find them when you are a mom. I will be your friend if you want to message me.
Another thought is therapy. It can be sooo good for working out whatever anxieties are making you struggle to cleave.
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In saying that you should be welcome.
There is a difference in visiting to spend time, and visiting to do your hair.
Sit down and talk to your mumma about this. And ask her straight out simple. Donāt go on what someone else said, cos they can easily say I didnāt say that.
Do you take food, etc, or do you expect them to stretch their budget to feed you.
Something to consider
I have 1 of THOSE STEP DADSā¦be very careful how you bring it to your mom it could backfire.
That would definitely hurt me! I think you should but I also understand not wanting too to avoid drama .
Itās not your Mom or he would let you talk to her about it.
Bring it up because he could be being a dick and even if he isnāt you need to talk it out and figure out what the issue is asap
They probably want some time to defrag, donāt take it personally. Have a few weeks break and use it to self reflect. She will miss you and maybe even visit you!
First of all, if they donāt want you visiting then donāt visit. Simple. Your place being unsafe is a topic that should be discussed and done something about between you and your husband. You can talk to your parents but ultimately the actions are to be taken by you and husband. Them not wanting to be rude about needing a break from your frequent visits should be respected. There could be a lot of reasons behind stepdad asking not to let your mum know. Maybe heās more uncomfortable than your mum. Wants his privacy as well. Keep in mind that it is his home as well and not just your mumās. He said take a break, he didnāt say stop completely. Talk to your mum. Your sister gets help with kid; you are a grown adult. It sounds like youāre hurt that they donāt say anything about this kid being over as well but again, you are an adult and this kid needs supervising. It is not your parents fault that you barely ask for help so you canāt hold it against them. You have a husband who is supposed to be your partner through everything. Talk to him. Donāt say youāre fighting not to break down in front of him because if itās not in front of him then in front of who??
Dad doesnāt want you to tell Mom he said that? Nah f that. Iād be going straight to her and asking her myself.
It is the most uncomfortable feeling in the world rightā¦
If heās the step dad then the mum probably doesnāt know. I would tell her so she can see exactly what heās like
100% bring it up to your mom. Red flag he didnāt want anything said to herā¦.
Call your mother thatās definitely a red flag since he doesnāt want you to tell her sneaky what he trying to hide
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Bring it up to your mom anyway. I donāt trust stepās. Get your mom to have the nerve to tell her yourself.
I think you should resolve why you feel unsafe at your house. Get to the bottom of it and try to resolve the issue. In the long run it would benefit you.
If your grown n have ur own place than ur parents have all right to tell you spend ur time elsewhere
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I just feel like this cant be the whole story 
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Tell your Momma anyway. Especially since your step dad said to not tell her.
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They need a break, give them a break? Everyone has boundaries that need to be respected.
Confront her maybe itās a misunderstanding you have no idea how many people have stopped talking to each other because of a misunderstanding like this
Call your mom. Fuck what he said. Call your mom and talk to her about it
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Awe, Iām sorry 
I couldnāt imagine my mom or step dad saying this to me. Take a deep breather and find comfort in something you love doing. Donāt allow this to affect t you. Your so use to home and thats ok. I would suggest bringing in things to make you feel more at home in your own house. This can help in so many ways. Its ok for adults to want alone time especially if their children are moved out of the home. Give them a little space each week and pick certain days you do go visit with them. This will create a better bond between all of you. Even though space is not what u need, it may be what they need. 
Ummm talk to ur mom. Step dad or not thats ur mom
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Are you going to their house every day to moan about your problems 
or just to kill your time drinking coffee all day ?
Do you help around the house or expecting to be served ?
Red 
?
Invite your mom over to your house and give her a break of being stuck at home every day because of you
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Definitely speak to your mum hun x
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Honestly I would talk to my Mom about it. It canāt hurt anything. Best of luck. :)!
Talk to your mum. He doesnāt have the right to hide the conversation from your mum. Hope all works out x
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Maybe youāre overdoing it by going over there so often? Youāre invading his privacy, intruding on his home, etc.
maybe your step dad just wanted some peace and quiet that day, (something heās earned the right to have) and then, in you walkā¦ again. Itās probably getting old and heās feeling super frustrated by the lack of privacy.
I have four children and I love them all dearly, but when my youngest is old enough to be on his own, Iām gonna throw a party and then set up my house the way Iāve wanted to for years, but couldnāt. And while my children will always be welcome to come over and visit me, I donāt want them hanging out in my house when Iām not there! Thatās kinda like theyāre still not out of the house.
Also, ask yourself how your parents are benefitting from your constant use of their home?
Are you making them dinner and leaving it for them to enjoy when you leave?
Are you filling up their fridge with groceries? Are you scrubbing their floors while you āhang outā at their house? Are you doing their laundry? How are they benefitting from you being there so often?
Now ask yourself how you are benefitting by the constant use of their home? Are you using their house as a place to feel safe while your husband is at work? Are you avoiding your household duties by hanging out in a house thatās already clean? While youāre there, are you welcoming yourself to food and drinks? Do you put your dirty dishes in their sink, etc?
Your parents have already raised you. Your actions, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, should never become an added burden to their expenses or their household responsibilities. They shouldnāt have to buy more OJ any sooner than they otherwise would have, they shouldnāt have to wipe one more counter than they would have, shouldnāt have to load one more dish or sweep the floor sooner because of your visits. You are an adult and your presence at their house should only add to their life, never steal away from it. Theyāve earned this right.
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Tell your mom what he said and ask is that what she wants
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Maybe she does need a break everybody needs a break sometimes
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Iām sorry, it sounds very hurtful!
I would definitely speak with your mom!!
Make some friends join some play dates call first
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Definitely talk to your mom.
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Call and talk to mom and clarify what he meantā¦ that way itās clarification question not a he said this ā¦
Um you should tell your mom becsuee he shouldnāt be telling you to hide things from your mom
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I couldnāt do that to my kids. They will always be welcome!!!
I find it weird that heās your step dad and he told you to stop coming there and to not bring it up to your mom im sorry if that was my step dad Iād say f**k you and tell my mom regardless of how long theyāve been married if he raised me any of that heās still my step dad and only what my mom says matters if she doesnāt want her child coming to her house fine but someone who isnāt my blood doesnāt get to tell me to not visit my mom plain and simple
Thatās too sad. I would tell or ask my mom regardless. āIf thereās an issue, let me know and Iāll gladly do my best to not be a bother.ā
I hope to be able to welcome my grown kids until I die.
Heās honestly probably tired of you coming to his house every damn day!
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Maybe heās just tryna have sex with momma dukes and doesnāt want you barging in. Your sister kid being there is probably plannedā¦ you coming over probably isnāt. I wouldnt take it personal maybe heās just trying to get some 
I would tell my mom RIGHT QUICK!
Talk to your mom because he said not to say anything to her,so he prob came up with it his self.
Talk to your mom. Tell her you would like to spend at least one day a week with her.
If that was me I would say what was said in front of everyone
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Talk to your mom. That would be what I did instantly. She doesnāt know if thatās what he said.
Speak to your mom. Hear it from the horses mouth
Idk. But anytime someone says donāt tell mom. You should probably consult mom. Js
Call the family meeting with all the family members you your sister your stepdad and your mom and you sit down and you figure out what needs to be happening
I would talk to your mom!
Find out the situation!
I would love for my kids to come over every day.
Let your mom know what was saidā¦ then let her know exactly what u explained in the postā¦
Lol Iād be telling mom on him 
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I would talk to your mom. This may be just him talking
Let them miss you. Stop going over and they will invite you
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I would definitely speak to your Mom.
I think ya need to talk to your mom since he specifically said not too
Tell your mother heās possibly lying and she could be in an abusive relationship
Talk with your mother for sure x
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Talk to your mom even if its uncomfortable. You need answers
Sometimes family gets too much of family. Be cool.
I would just not call/text/go over. Iām sure at some point they will reach out and I would just tell them Iām respecting their wishes 
Thatās not being rude or vengeful itās truly just doing what was asked of you.
I however cannot imagine having the heart to say those words to my children. Even when theyāre on my nerves I canāt imagine telling them I donāt want them to come over as often. Iām their safe space. And plan to be until Iām no longer around.
Mention it to your mom
Find a new hangout place
Get a degree
Take up yoga
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Talk With Your Mom Cause I Know If My Husband Said That To My Daughter Iād Be Pissed Off As Having Kids Are Blessings Even If You Come Over Regularlyā¦
Talk with your mom and dint ever let anyone tell you nit to no matter how old you or they are.
Talk to your mom and hear her side first.
Leave nothing unsaid life is short say what U need to if you dont you will regret it
I would talk to my mom about it. 
Tell your Mom he said that. I guarantee she has no idea & thatās all him.
Sometimes you need to give people space to miss you.
Time to talk to your mom.
People set boundaries when they feel their privacy/time/space is being invaded. I would try to respect that and give them space. Talk to your mum privately, maybe make plans and go out with her away from the house
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Talk your mother. Most people who say things like this are hiding something.
I would be calling my mom to talk about it, but thatās me.
Girl tell your Momma she prob gonna kick his a$$
Idk. My folks get like that too. May grandparents werenāt. I will never be that way.
Bring it up to your mom.
Iād be telling my mum.
Ask your mom if she needs a break from you coming over
Talk to your momā¦get it out in the open as to why he would say that.
I would absolutely talk to your mother. Your step dad might be way off the mark speaking for her, until you know how she feels for sure I wouldnāt hold a grain of salt to it. Especially knowing youāve never had a good relationship with him.
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When you go over there do you pick up and clean after yourself or treat there their place different? Just a questionā¦cause you could dye your hair at home ā¦and why I ask that is because I have a friend that has a daughter that comes to their house everyday and never picks up after her self and eats their food and walks out and her mom is really needing to know how to bring it up to her about Not coming over or bring her own maidā¦
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I love my girls and my sil and my grandkids. I love seeing them. That said, I donāt need them hanging in my house daily or a few days per week. A phone call, a walk, a half hour visit are all ok and an occasional dinner i could handle preparing. Going to dinner out or shopping, running errands together also ok. It doesnāt mean I donāt absolutely adore them allā¦it just means my home is now a quiet place with my own, boring routine - anything that disrupts that is unfair to me. ļæ¼
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i would say something to your momā¦
I couldnāt imagine doing that to my kids, and couldnāt imagine my mom doing that to me 
donāt say anything or go over there and see if she reaches out 
How sad! This is your step dad, right? Go speak with your Mother!
Iād drop them from my life. Period.
Same situation. If you find a solution, let me know.
Talk to your mom. Maybe she needs her space, or maybe itās just him.
Tell your mama!! Thatās ridiculous that a father would tell his daughter that