I literally would literally stop giving a literal fuck about them. Literally.
TELL YOUR MOM!!! SHE Doesnāt KNOW. I hope
Talk to your mom. Say mom I understand if this is how you feel, but I rather hear it from you.
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Tell mom and let them contact youā¦
Everyday? I have adult children, and yes, everyday would get to be too much. Once a child moves out, and they visit, we feel the need to entertain them (at least I do anyway). Cooking meals, and constant conversation. The children basically become guests. I love seeing my kids, but everyday would be too much for me as well
He could be lying, and your mother doesnāt think this.
Thatās soo sad! My parents are ky best friendsā¤ļø
Go over there once twice a week. Talk to them both together about it and make sure its what your mom wants not the āstep dadā as you put it. Communication is key. They may just want time to be themselves with noone at their home honestly
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Heās probably doing drugs and your mother doesnāt know
Maybe donāt go over for a while and when your mom asks why tell her whyā¦
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If my step dad/ but see him as my dad said that to me id say something luckly me and my mom just tell each other to piss off now if we have had enough
If your close to your mum I wouldnt be worried speaking to her
If you feel unsafe in the place that you live, your main focus right now should be to remedy this. I wouldnāt even address this with your parents right now bc you are probably too emotional to receive whatever they would tell you. We sometimes forget our parents go through storms as well. Who knows maybe they are burnt out from dealing with your sisterās kid(s). Fall back and protect your own peace for a few days or possibly even longer. After that, nothing will clear the air better than good ole fashioned open and honest communication. Best wishes.
He may be making trouble ,tell your mom what he has said
Iām the kinda girl that believes all men are shit. Before we start bashing this mom I suggest the op ask her mom straight up. For all we know it could be the step dad with issue. He could of told the mom and she probably told him she loves having her daughter around so he tried to like secretly lie and say they both think that. Find out the truth directly from your momās mouth first. Then if she doesnāt want you around then just cut ties. Donāt go where your not welcome
Stay away for a while. If they want you over tell them to let you know. Talk to your mom when stepdad isnāt around and see what she says. But it sounds like you really need to let them tell you when they want company. Hugs 
Bring it up to your mom it sounds lije your stepdad is saying things that might not have been said.
I would tell your mom 
Well, give them some space. If what he says is true, youāre allowed to be hurt but canāt really blame someone for being honest. If heās full of shit then your mom will likely contact you and you can tell her. Also sounds like you more still kinda dependent anyway. That gets annoying whether youāre the parent or not.
Do you call ahead of time? I know Iām always welcome at my parentsā no matter the time of day, however, I do call them beforehand out of respect of their home and privacy.
My two adult kids got upset because I moved four hours away. They refuse to speak to me, going on four and a half years now. Even when I lived near them, I was only good enough to buy gifts, cruises, babysit and cook. Breaks my heart, but theyāve said and done some unforgivable things to me. It was really tough for the first two years, but Iām learning to deal with it. You canāt make anyone treat you right. They do or they donāt. Itās not an option for anyone to treat me badly.
Girl you better have a private convo with your mom! This could all be him especially if you say yāall havenāt ever really had a close bond. Girl f*** him! Thatās your mother!!! You know your mom! She may have no clue any of this is going on. TALK TO YOUR MOM!
Maybe theyāre tired of their adult children asking them for help all the time. I love seeing my kids and will help them when they need it. But if youāre old enough to have kids of your own, they canāt be expected to support you.
I would take a break and take time to let the initial shock and hurt dissipate. Then talk to your mom anyway. Especially if she calls to see why you havenāt come over. Maybe she didnāt even say that and itās your step-dad getting annoyed.
I would def bring it up to your mom because heās not even your bio dad and then asked you not to tell your mom what he saidā¦ 
Who gives a shit about him? That is YOUR mom and he isnāt family. Step parents are just there to pick up the slack of the biological parent and honestly a lot of them do not even do that. I would tell your mom and if she doesnāt take your side, fuck her too. I HATE people that try to cause a rift in families
When you go there does your mum cook for you, clean up your dishes feed your kids, clean up after your kids ? I see you said to possibly dye your hair ā¦who cleans up all the mess from this , launders the towels etc ? Why canāt you dye your hair at home ? Maybe your mum is tired and your dad sees it, hears it and your mum just needa a day off from running after your needs and your kids needs ā¦
Get new parents lol if they donāt want to see you, then thatās their loss 
Talk to your mom personally.
Iām so happy me and my parents were close enough that I could just show up when I wanted l, if the werenāt home, I was able to let myself in.
I usually brought grandkids for them to see or goodies 
maybe thatās why
Just donāt go there for a month and see what happens but you should talk to your mother about that too. Parenting doesnāt stop at 18 or when you have your own children.
My step dad would never say thatā¦ But if he did I would tell my mom Iāll be back eventually, but I donāt know when since he says i visit too muchā¦ Then Iād watch wwIII ensue, because my mom would never stand for that.
Wow. Iām so sorry that heās like that. The fact he told you not to tell your mother is a red flag. My mother remarried also and Iām 26 with 2 kids. I visit my mother constantly also because me and the kids get bored during the day and they have no problem with is coming over. Iād be heart broken if my step dad said something like that to me and not to tell my mom. I would tell her and talk it out. But I come from a home where my mom has almost all her adult children come home and visit her alot and bring the grandbabys by. I dunno what Iād do if I couldnāt come visit anymore.
See if your mom notices you not coming around as much .if she brings it up then tell her what the step dad said .all 3 of you should be able to work it out!
Why are you seeking advice from a bunch of people who donāt know you? Seems to me you need to be more independent!
Sometimes having visitors over is a lot. Donāt take it personal. Itās not your house. Give them space and move on
Youre an adult and a married womanā¦
We as parent enjoy and look forward to the days when the house is ours again.
We love our babies and want to see themā¦but we also want privacy and time for ourselves to enjoy ourselves as just a couple like it was before kidsā¦
You do not live there anymore if you want to visit call an ask itās not ok to just pop in anytime you want you should respect that after all they have a life to live to an probably want some privacy once in awhile has nothing to do with not loving you try to be an adult about it instead of being embarrassed an rude
Maybe they want to have swingers parties during the day and youāre interrupting 
bring it up to your mom - she probably didnāt say anything like this or know he was going to blindside you with this. I have found that when ādonāt tell them about thisā usually means the other party had no idea. If she did say it - then ask why what did I do?
They have done their job and raised you. They probably need a lil break. Why not dye your hair at your house. Youāre probably eating their snacks or they probably want to have random sex and be naked.
They might be swingers and want their time 
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Do you call first or just go unannounced?
Hun go over ā¦tell your mom and talk this out with them ā¦maybe they both really do want a brake or maybe someone doesnt want you near your mom for some reason ā¦good luck
Iād be grateful someone felt comfortable enough to let me know.
Maybe he wants alone time with his wife, dudes trying to get a bj
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Id respect his wishes and visit less. Maybe they are going through some things and need some space
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Go ahead and bring it up to your mom but maybe they just want to be alone too
Maāam go and see your mom as much as you want and absolutely tell her what he said.
I would talk to your mom.
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If he told you not to repeat it, then hes probably lying.
Your mom would want u to speak from ur heart
Tell your step dad that you seeing your mom is none of his damn business and talk to your mother about it and find out if she needs space or not , cause he could he bullshitting if he doesnt like you
āYoU cOuLd bE oVeR sTaYiNg yOuR wElCoMEā
Jesus Christ I would never and will never make my kids feel like this, your children didnāt choose to be in this world and if you think as a mother that you could āover stay your welcomeā visiting your parents thatās disgusting. I pray my kids visit me daily or even weekly when theyāre adults.
Id say talk to your mom, and ask her to be honest about how she feels and why. I have a terrible relationship with my mother and never see nor hear from her unless I reach out.
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Iād stop all contact and when they contact you tell them you have chosen to respect thier wishes
They want space. Give it to them geeze. Soemday I want a life simple
Sounds like you should talk to your mom without his weird ass around. Creeps tell people not to say anything not normal people.
Sorry but you need to learn boundaries. Once you move out yes go visit but maybe call first and see if they want company. Parents need alone time too.
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Talk to your mother and confront her infront of the dad. Seems maybe he is just saying this to please his self vs the mom saying it.
I would. Be blunt and honest. Be respectful and ask mom, why did so and so say I should take a break coming around. Am I bothering you? Are you mad at me ? Did I do anything wrong. I think that is legit and fair to ask and also make known he said such.
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Youāre a grown woman with children, why does your mother and step dad need to babysit you while your husband works? If you feel unsafe, get a dog, security cameras and a gun. Also, mess up your own house with your hair dyeā¦TF? As the husband who shares the marital home and bills, he has every right to ask you to back off for a bit.
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Heās probably sick of his step kids constantly needing something. Itās their time to enjoy life. Not be burdened all the damn time.
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I would never, ever not want my kids to come to my home. My kids are ALWAYS welcome wherever I am and would never be turned away or told not to come. I honestly canāt even wrap my brain around the fact that there are some parents who donāt feel this same way.
You say āliterallyā a lot. Lol. Anyway, Iām sorry that youāre hurt. Parents are allowed to want some peace and quiet in their own home, and to get a break sometimes from watching the grandkids and having their adult kids over. They spend years raising their children, and deserve to have some space once their adult children move out. Nothing wrong with that. Kinda odd that heās telling you to ānot tell your mom he said that.ā If this is how she feels too, itād be nice if she could just politely say so. Maybe she was afraid to hurt your feelings, and thatās why she didnāt say anything? Maybe instead of visiting twice in one week, you could cut it down to once a week, and visit for like a half hour to an hour (But call or text beforehand)? I know I was just telling someone that Iām not a fan of āpop-upā visits.
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I can go to my parents house whenever I please, completely unannounced because thatās what theyāve told me I can do. I however, donāt want my parents at my own house like that and request to call before they come over to make sure itās okay. Itās not your house. Itās your parents house, both mom and dad. Respect it or ask why you canāt come over more and see if itās a different answer. Respect it either way.
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Wait. You dont feel safe in your own home but have kids there? You need to reevaluate your life.
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There is 7 of us and my mum told us the exact same. Then 2 weeks later she is calling us up crying because we havenāt been to see her. But we did get the hint, we deffo donāt all go round there anywhere near as much as we used to and we have a better relationship x
I would speak to your mom. I would be devastated if my step dad told me this. My mom was my rock, so she is the best to answer, and we donāt lie when our kidās ask us or need us. I love my children and always want them to come over.
Maybe it bothers your step dad and not your mom. Seriously ask mom.
I would talk to my mom. Donāt let that asshole get between you and your mom. He could be flat out lying to you. Or maybe it was misconstrued communication? Maybe your mom is frustrated with people always coming over in general, not just you. You wonāt know till you ask and find out. Good luck with whatever you do.
Get yourself a JOB or go back to school so you have something else to do. Then maybe you can move to a safer neighborhood.
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You go to your parents because your bored? Look for a job.
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As a momā¦ of 4 kidsā¦ 27 15 13 and 8ā¦ if any of them needed help I would be more pissed that they felt they couldnt askā¦ cause whatās that say about me as thier momā¦ your mom WILL WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE SAID!!! I PROMISE U!!!
The minute someone tells you NOT to tell your mom, GO and TELL HER. What a piece of garbage. I guarantee HE is the one that doesnāt want you coming over because it takes your moms attention off of him. Typical jealousy crap. Maybe you should remind him you were around before he ever was and that you will still be around even after heās gone. Whether thatās by choice or your momma kicking him to the curb or not. Sorry, but I am a mom and Iād be madder than hell if my husband EVER told my daughter (his step daughter) to stop coming over.
Get a job. Why are you sitting on your ass all day, bored? No one teach you that most adults work?
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Youāre not a child anymore, you do not live there. Parents are and this might be shocking to someā¦theyāre entitled to actually have time to themselves especially when their kids are grown. Iām sorry It might not be what you want to hear, but you literally have to deal with the fact that they have their own lives you might be interrupting. Maybe mom wants to walk around naked and Dad has been waiting for his chance for yearsā¦to me full time parenting ends at 18 and then your parents want to have their own lives.
I would definitely talk to your mom to see if she actually said that. Iām sorry you feel so unsafe where you are living. Voice that concern to mom Im sure she would understand. If you can, get some friends & other relatives to help you move. Good luck hon!!
Thats weird. If i dont call my mom shes calling me checking in. Because thats out of the norm. When i was driving past her house i was stopping by a few times a week. No dinner. No nothing. Didnt really ask her to baby sit. Even if i didnt say much while i was there or only stopped in for a few minutes.
Okay, I am a mother and I would absolutely 100% positively want to know if someone said this to my child. Mothers have an unbreakable bond with our children and when a man comes between us that is never okay. Please tell your mother, I myself and my mother and that would kill me if I found out something like that happened and I never knew
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I would be having a conversation with my mom only
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There is not a world where I would ask one of my kids not to come to my place. She needs to tell her mom, because I bet she has no clue he said that.
Noā¦ doesnāt seem right especially if heās telling you not to tell your mom he said anything and if you two donāt have a great relationship. I would talk to your mom , let her know what he said and ask her to just be up front with you herself if thereās an issue or she needs a break. ā¦ itās just wrong if he tells you not to bring up the conversation with your mom
I feel like this is coming from stepdad and mom has no idea. I would talk to my mom. See if she feels the same way. I doubt she knows anything about it.
Please talk to your motherā¦ She may not know what your stepdad said. I donāt know if you are out welcoming yourself or if this is just a problem on their end. Conversation is crucial at this point.
How about you talk to your mom? Bc maybe heās being a jerk.
Iād talk to your mom about what boundaries she would like to set in place and ask if she feels youāve broken/overstepped any unspoken ones. Try to keep your emotion out of the conversation to get a better read on hers.
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You should literally stay home, they literally want their space from you. Literally get a job and spend your time there.
You should talk to your mom! Sees your Step dad runs the show there and does not have enough balls to let your mom in his decisions on your visitsā¦ seems heās the one with the issues not you
Tell momā¦ She will take care of it !!! There is going to come a time when mom asks why you donāt come around much anymore.
Bring it up to your mom. And tell her he said not to. He canāt put a wall up between you and your mom and thatās what heās trying to do
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Donāt talk to him no more.
Only mom.
Whatās weird is the other grandkids are watched. Not yours so much.
He is the step. Not bio
Call up bio dad.
Ask your mom about it. Heās probably making it up.
If they were coming to your house every day for several hours (that means you hosting them), how would you feel?
No words I am sorry hunā¦ Even though I get tired my daughter sometimes as well I could never ever say that.
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Talk to your mom. If he told you not to bring it up to her, itās probably because she doesnāt know.
Im sorry u were treated this way. Try talking to ur mom, maintain a relationship with her via the phone. Dont bother with him. Hes clearly ignorant.
I feel like thereās more to the story hereā¦
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Mom knowing, or not, respect his wishes!
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Moms need breaks sometimesā¦
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Definitely talk to your mom see whatās really going on
Youāre too clingy. Get your own life. Find a hobby. Get a job.
Maybe get a job if yiu are healthy
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I would ask her how she feels about what he said.
No father figure is entitled to say (āDonāt tell your Momā) you should feel free to talk to your Mom about anything. If it feels wrong in what he said to you , check those red flags going up and eating at your gut. Follow your gut feelings and bring it up to your Mom. Heās a jerk to say such things to you or anyone. The world couldnāt keep me away from my Mother unless she feels the same way he does. The,Donāt tell your Mom is a control issue on his part as if your Mom isnāt on his same page. If My folks are not up to having company they will tell all of us not just one if us. All 4 of us kids, and all 29 Grandkids and their 12 great grand childrenās parents. Not, (āDonāt tell your Momā)!
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