Um just don’t go over there as much. Good grief.
Is absolutely talk with your mom!!
Talk to your mum, clear the air n see whats what.
Fuck step Daddy! Talk to mom, and yea you shouldn’t go over everyday either.
Talk to your mom. He might just be a jerk and mom doesn’t know it
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Anne Vanspall Abboushi isn’t this sad?
Go talk to mom.a good mother no best
Talk to mom she pbly has no clue
Constructive criticism doesn’t include cruelty people.
Don’t visit thier house 
Don’t visit their house.
Talk to your mother.
Your STEP father is a Douche Bag, a big nasty old Douche Bag , TELL YOUR MUM AND YOUR HUSBAND don’t be a Martyr tell people what’s happening you won’t be as tired or sad, life is to short to carry the load on your own ok… I would start ignoring your Step/ Fake dad he will get the hint sooner or later 
I would talk to my mom
Becky Soliz Ozuna, you better never!! 
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Tell your momma girl
Talk to your mom, I bet your step dad is full of 
Talk to your husband… You need his support and a big hug
Hmmm… talk to your mom.
Talk to you mom about this.
Meags Taylor can you imagine Dad saying this to us? Bahahaha.
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Talk to your mom about it.
Id talk to my mom n tell her, see how she feels. Thats ur mom, n stepdad could kiss my ass.
Tell your mom!!! F him.
Oh no, I’d be telling my momma!
Could u get a part time job or volunteer to help occupy yourself?
Talk to your mom i bet hes the one whos sick of you
Respectful boundries
She’s your mom, talk to her.
Talk to your mommy about this!
Talk to you mom let her know what he said…
Let you mom know, as soon as posible.
Talk to your mom on the phone . Don’t straight up ask her how she feels about it but fish for answers. You’ll have your answer without drama and know her feelings
Dang that’s messed up
Tell your Mama Hunny!
TALK TO YOUR MOM!!! This just doesn’t sit right and he’s just step dad.
I’m telling my damn mama
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I would talk to your mom
I agree talk to your mom
Speak to your mom about it
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Def talk to your mom!
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Def talk to your mom
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Speak with your Mother
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Red flags 
something up tell your mom ASAP! I know if my daughter was in the same situation that you are in my daughter would automatically come and tell me and I would tell my husband never to tell my daughter that ever again or you’re sleeping in the dog house or you know where the door 
is and leave.
Talk to your mom maybe that’s just what HE says my step dad is super controlling and doesn’t allow my mom to have a job or leave the house and complains when she watches my kids while I work… Sounds like your step dad is the same way 
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My parents don't want me visiting their house, what should I do?
You can’t be mad that they watch your sisters kid while she does something productive… your just bored and there. That’s annoying in my opinion. I go to my parents once or twice a week but to go just to lay around is bummy. And I def wouldn’t want you coming to dye your hair, that’s messy. I get why he said don’t tell her. She probably wanted you to get the hint yourself but he’s noticed you haven’t.
And you already mentioned twice how you were going to ask for something but said you rarely do…
You need there help, so you not asking is only hurting you. You can’t be upset that they won’t space. Even if it’s just your dad that doesn’t want you there daily, it’s still his house
also.
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I would absolutely never tell my kids not to come over. Ever. My home is always their home, I will always be their safe place, they will always be welcome. I would definitely talk to your mom and tell her what he said and ask her if that’s really how she feels
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Both my parents are no longer living. I have had many close relatives pass. With so much loss, I believe life is to damn short and we need to be transparent as possible.
I would talk to her privately and say you don’t want to cause problems. Just ask her if being there bothers her or if you did anything. It will help a lot and less friction. Be open with her response.
Don’t compare your relationship w your parents vs your sisters. Sometimes parents help the other sibling more because they know they need it more. They know you can handle it.
If you don’t resolve this issue, you’ll continue to feel sad/ bad about it. A small convo can clear things up. Never assume. It’s not healthy. 
you got this.
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If u don’t live their anymore, its not your space or your place to go in their house
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I would be devastated if a parent said this to me. And I hope my kids always feel comfortable to come over whenever they want.
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I’d tell my Mom. Just him saying it the way he did and to not tell her. He’s lying. It’s he that doesn’t want you around. Good luck.
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I go to my parents house all the time and it’s always been like that my grown kids there grandkids go over thrrr all the time we are freaking tight iv never been told don’t come here … and if you and your step dad haven’t got along real good and he said it and SAID don’t tell her he said it then that’s all on him NOT her .: that’s your mom and if she don’t care and hasn’t ever cared about you doing it I would talk to her
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This happens. I’ve seen it in my own family just differently. Talk to your mom without telling her directly. Asking questions gives you answers. Be like a detective. But i know when one sibling gets more attention than you or you get pushed aside but the other isn’t 
… it hurts.
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Ur parents probably need some space from all the kids and grandkids coming over all the time. If they are retired then they most likely want some peace and quiet. U are an adult so u should understand about getting some peace and quiet urself. Alone time. Ur parents raised their kids so relax and give them space. If u feel unsafe where u live them speak to ur husband and plan to move so u can enjoy ur home and ur own family. This is nothing to cry over
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I would talk to your mom… especially since he said not to tell her he said for you to not come over… seems a little suspicious to me…I mean who wouldn’t want their kids to come over? Now… if you’re over there all day everyday then I could see them getting tired of it (my fiancé’s 38 year old sister JUST moved out and still comes over all day everyday) but if you didn’t hear it from your mom, then I would most definitely talk to HER…
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You’re a married women who no longer lives there. I understand their comments hurt you and I would absolutely talk to my mom and let her know how that made you feel but it’s not your house to go over there every single day. I wouldn’t want someone at my house every single day either. Grown child or not. I enjoy my own privacy and maybe she wants hers too.
If you feel the place in which you and your husband live is unsafe and that’s why you use that as the reason to go to your parents home daily, talk to your husband and discuss finding alternative housing that you can feel safe in. I can’t imagine living in a place where I didn’t feel safe. I’d be spending my free time finding somewhere else to live 
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I guess I was raised different than some commented. My mom and dad though divorced love having me, my husband and now baby at their homes. They love when I stay for dinner and just chat and have a good time. I call my mom almost every day on the phone to see how her day had gone. This would hurt my feelings also and I would talk to her to get the hurt feelings out and get the concern out in the open between you both. I would hope my son would always feels welcome in my home no matter his age.
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Even if you talk to your mum and you don’t get along with her husband you will get hurt more cos I do not see her throw him out so you can go to her house to color your hair. There’s places for that. Like your sisters house! And if you are bored find things to interest you…watch a movie…volunteer at a soup kitchen…read a book. Or get a job and make friends in the process.
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Your parents already raised their kids they need time to themselves too
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Space is a good thing. You can still call and have conversations and id just wait on her invitation to come over. They might want alone time. It’s healthy to have that even for yourself. It’s not always a reflection or a sign that something is wrong in your family relationship. Maybe your mom mentioned it to him in conversation and didn’t want to bring it up to you because she didn’t want you to take it personally so he mentioned it??? Who knows. I’d give it some time and wait on her invite and continue to call through the week to catch up.
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I wouldn’t mind my grown kids coming over, but doing so nearly everyday, because theyre bored? That’s a hard pass. Especially to color their hair which would stink up my house and has potential for a mess. Watching grandkids while their parents are doing tasks versus not getting you time because your grown adult is bored are 2 totally different things
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What if they’ve established a schedule for sexy time and are trying to get it on… then you show up… like you got your own space in your home now, you’re an adult. If they’ve been watching other kids, they need a break too! Talk to your husband about helping you feel safe in your home and maybe so you’re not bored offer to watch your nephews. Grandparents should have to be babysitters after they raise kids.
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So while you’re there…who’s feeding you and your kids? You pitching in? Helping clean after your kids? Being the one Soley responsible for your kids?
Cuz here’s the thing. My momma is a momma’s mom…
She was born to mother things. But even she don’t want us there for hrs every day unless needed. Like she babysits my neice, but my bro is only there to usually drop off and pick up.
I was there for 6wks 2 summers ago…both she and I were SO happy when I went home…she had her space back and I had mine lol
I don’t think they have an issue with you visiting…it’s the constant visits, for hrs…for no real reason but to use as your house for the day, then you go home to your husband to sleep at night. Rinse and repeat. I’d get annoyed to.
Even if mom did not say that…and it’s Soley the step dad’s opinion…
It’s still that man’s house!!..he helps pays the bills there, and he’s allowed to state he wants less chaos and more peace…
Visit sure…but be there most of the time…that’s mooch behaviour…
. If you’re gonna be bored and lazy…do it at your own home. Don’t feel safe there? Then time to move…or get protection:person_shrugging:(dog, bear spray, gun, bat, hatchet(what I have lol) etc).
Cuz imagine is someone came over daily, for hrs, without ever really asking. Now you have to put up with them all day, with no choice of your own to matter…kid or not…it’s still annoying. Esp when they married and grown…you’re supposed to grow up and fly the nest…not just go sleep elsewhere but come back during the day…lol
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My door is open 24/7 365 until my last breath ! If I have something to do then I do it. .life is way too short you never know what the next moment brings. Be careful what you wish for.
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Tbh I’m a big fan of people just coming around here without asking or been invited first… Maybe they want their alone time after yrs of raising kids it does seem weird that he doesn’t want you to mention it to your mom though. Maybe also after watching your sisters kids all the time they jist want some peace and quiet.
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No nice way of saying it but it’s time for you to grow up, get your own friends and show your parents some respect by giving them time for themselves. Sorry but your parents are not there to keep you entertained while your husband is working.
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It’s the hair dye. If you go over there and make a mess like my girl did…then? Or it’s him…Have a talk w/mom. No matter what you think your mom is your best friend. Always
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I would just ask your mom. You don’t have to tell her what he said. Just ask her if it bothers her that you come over “so much?”
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I would talk to your mom and dad together. If you talk to only your mom, you’re just going to get her version of the truth, the same way your dad told you his version.
Did your dad tell you an acceptable number of times to come over? I saw my parents several times a week when they were still living. I’d be very upset by this.
If you have nothing to do while your husband works than maybe you could get a job yourself , it would help your husband a lot
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Maybe ask your sibling if you can watch the child? It will take away your boredom! 
Also ask your husband for a home protection device so you are more comfortable with your area.
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Can we see the parents view for a minute? Between the sister, her kids and this woman. They want private time. They weren’t trying to hurt feelings. It seems like there is more to the story. Maybe she can get them privacy for a while. The parents still love her.
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I’d speak to your Mum and see what she thinks about the situation.
It’s a bit like when someone tells a child it’s their secret and don’t tell anyone … dead wrong
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Prayer on it. And let God give you the answer. Because I feel it something going on he don’t want you around. And your mom need to know what going on when she don’t see you come over any more.
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Definitely tell your mom he said that. You are not his child, he is out of line. If she agrees then it’s whatever but for all you know she doesn’t even feel that way.
I don’t care if my kids are 4 or 40 they are always welcome…your mom cld feel totally different about it and want you there everyday…just talk to her
My husband has dementia and im the only person taking care of him i would love for my kids to visit every day we get nothing not evens a phone call and I say something about it and my daughter tells me she works 30 hrs a week your parents should be thankful you want to visit
If he doesn’t want you to tell mom , my guess is these are his feelings, not hers. Or she really didn’t want to hurt your feelings & would be mad at him for doing it for her. Regardless just tell mom if you’re ever wearing out your welcome please let you know & see what her response is, & go from there.
Are you close with your mum? If so then talk to her and ask her… as if you ask for help with moving it could become uncomfortable… especially because you have been asked to keep.it quiet…I can’t understand why your dad/step dad wants you to keep this from your mum… it seems very strange…
Do they look after your children also?.. or just their other grand children.
Your mom could be overwhelmed at the moment, with your sister & her kids, maybe something else too. In my opinion, you should respect your dad/step-dads wishes and wait for a call and invite. In the meantime, you should be working on your own home & life. Make it safer, get ready to move (by the way, get some guy friends to help you move, not your older parents!!), reach out to friends, work, etc. As parents get older, they love when the kids come home, but raised you to be independent, and parents need a break too!
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No don’t wait…go tell your Mom, you was your Mom’s first, he came later…NO talk to your Mom and tell her what he said…Let her answer be straight from the horse’s mouth then it will be easier for you to swallow…Good Luck…
Well, if the step dad said not to tell your mom. That means mom doesn’t know what he said. Tell her and get her truth. If its the same as the mans, then distant yourself and find someone to hang out with while hubby is at work. I personally go to my grandmothers house whom raised me, daily. And she loves it. And so does my aunts. Idk why anyone wouldn’t want that.
If anyone ever told my son that I’d want to know. I’d have a kind conversation with your mom about it.
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Do it on the side tell her not to tell your step dad I don’t care I’ll tell my mom what I want and he’s only a step dad. So no one gonna get inbetween me and my mom never. So I would take her to the side and tell her two days out of week ok or there wow sad is she really wanting that or is it him
Tell your mom what he said and see what she said I am so proud of my kids and in-law that I want them to come all the time anytime and grandkids so proud of all of them pray they NEVER Stop coming wake up parents love your children
Wow. I am so sorry 
definitely ask your mom about it especially if you have never had a good relationship with him. He might be putting words in her mouth. My parents would NEVER say something like this to me. I have 4 kids and I am basically welcomed over there whenever…that just doesn’t make sense to me
Would your mom actually feel this way? I’ve lived on my own since about a year after I graduated college. My parents (no step) never cared how often I went there. I moved out 20 years ago, own my own house since 2008, and I still have a key. If my dad said that to me I’d know my mom never said that and I’d ask her WTF with dad saying that. She’d tell me just ignore him. Def talk to your mom.
I’d talk to your mom. If he said not to say anything then more then likely she doesn’t know about it.
Definitely talk to mom. It’s possible she didn’t say that but if she did then y’all can talk about it and hopefully she can explain to give you a better understanding of why she said it instead of assuming the worse. Communication!!!
This broke my heart for you. First talk to your mom calmly let her know what was said. I love having my family around me it gets chaotic and wild. I wouldn’t have it any other way. My family is my blessing 
There was 8 of us and we were and still are welcome in my moms home ( even now she’s in assisted living) there is only 3 of us left but my mom always told us just because we don’t live with her anymore her home is OUR home I never ever felt like a guest I felt like I belonged and I’m pretty sure that’s the way it should be.i am the youngest siblings moved back home and moved back out, my sister and my nephew were at my moms everyday when us younger 3 were still at home, parents don’t usually consider their children " imposing" even on a daily basis, my heart hurts at this post and some of the comments l, I’m so very thankful my mom didn’t consider us intruding as adults, her home was always the most comfortable place to be. I couldn’t imagine EVER feeling like I wasn’t welcome anytime at my moms EVERYDAY ALL DAY even at 50 years old!!!
Well if you’re there everyday while you’re husband is at work. Then your parents really don’t have any alone time for themselves now do they? You need to find yourself a hobby. Something else to do or someone else to see. Your parents have lives too.
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I personally have 4 daughters and one son. Im 37 my oldest is 16. I personally would want the conversation. I would not go threw my husband. Id tell you to your face if its was true and what I wanted. Also as a mother I would like the chance to explain myself to you so you didnt have the wrong idea or hurt feelings. I dont know how your mother is. Does she let him talk for her? Does she go threw him to ever speak so she can hide? Idk. I wouldn’t. My older kids have no problem with their step dad but cause I had problems with my step parents coming between my parent and I. I make sure they are with me and talk to me. Go talk to your mother. A mother would not want you feeling this uncertain way about her and her home. Our dreams as mothers is to have our kids come with their kids as adults and to come eat n take food.
Could you get a little part time job or something to fill in your time? Don’t take it too personally, everyone needs their space.
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Give them space. I am the other way around. My dad will come to my house 5/6 times a week! Sometimes I just want to be able to come home to my family. If you feel unsafe maybe it’s time to move 
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Just talk to her, openess and honesty is best option. Allow her to voice how she’s feeling with no judgement and then voice how your feeling and come to a resolution you can both be happy with.
Maybe Covid has them a nervous wreck idk I’d tell my mom anyways if it means that much to you
I got both kinds of parents. My dads door was always open. I never knocked. I walked in, helped myself to whatever in the kitchen, plopped down beside him in his bed and watched tv with him. He passed away 4 years ago and he was my best friend. He had a gf whom I didn’t care for and she didn’t care for me, but she never made a big deal of his kids just walking in the house uninvited and no warning. That’s how we were with each other. All the kids did this as grown adults. My mom on the other hand is still living. She lives 15 minutes from me and we see each other maybe once a month sometimes longer. I only go to her house for holidays. I have to ask which bathroom to use at her house. It’s very fake at my moms. She’s really not involved with any of the kids or grandkids. Complete opposite of my father. I’m not sure what your relationship is with your mother but if she’s a good mother, definitely talk to her. My kids are welcome to my house at anytime they ever wish to come. They will never have to knock. They will never have to ask to come. I pray they come to me like I went to my dad. I miss him every single second of every day and I regret all the times I didn’t go see him when I could have gone. And if my kids ever had something like that said to them, I would want to know bc no man will ever tell my children that they cannot come to my house
You should tell your mom he said that and see what she has to say about it. I know he told you not to but he doesn’t have a right to say something like that without you talking to her about it. Your mom obviously didn’t want you to feel unwelcome or he wouldn’t care if she knew he told you that. It sounds like he’s just trying to cause problems between you and your mom. Open up to her about it. I think I speak for most women when I say she probably wouldn’t want to be with him knowing he doesn’t want you around.