Yes you’re wrong.
The first problem was “I was trying to convince him”
No is a complete sentence. You don’t “convince” someone to change their mind about sex. Sounds like he did it to shut you up.
And even IF he did it because he wanted to and he enjoyed it he is allowed to change his mind about anything sexual.
Sounds like you got caught cheating and tried to get out of it 
So you cheat on him with a woman, get caught and then basically pressure him into joining? You should be ashamed of yourself. Imagine you caught your husband with someone else and they pressured you into joining even tho you didn’t want to… disgusting.
I think you need to evaluate why you feel the need to introduce other people into your marriage. It never ends well. Maybe just work on reigniting what the two of you have together and try getting some counseling before you wreck the 8 years you have been together beyond repair.
He’s not greedy he had his 2 slices of cake if you wanted extra cream on top you should of brought an extra bottle Lmao 
He is a very good man…I wish I can meet him:kiss:
Lady u are nuts!! U will be lucky if he dont have an affair behind your back with this woman u practically made him sleep with…I’m smh…be careful wat u ask for !!!
You both tried it for the first time , you enjoyed it and he did not , if it were a man pestering a woman for a 3some he would get quite a bit of hate I think you should try to accept his boundaries that it’s not for him . I’m sure you can spice things up in other ways?
He walked in on you with another woman? And you are around to tell the story… but worried you didn’t get your turn with a guy. Bro…
unless all people in the situation are down for it it will never go to plan a few years back somthing similar happened with me and 3 others e,r,d all was fine and dandy until we was half way and E started chasing me around with a massive pink dildo! No word of a lie it was bigger than me legit shat myself not to even mention on the things that could go wrong
If he was into it from the start it would be different, but he clearly was not, and you pressured him into it. I would’ve killed my husband if he tried to force me to do something like that that I was uncomfortable with. He is clearly upset with it now, and you’re so selfish you can only think about wanting to try it again. You aren’t considering how he feels at all. This may end your marriage. It may show him the light.
If this was the other way around and he spent 5 minutes pressuring her into participating in a sexual encounter she repeatedly did not consent to after walking in on him cheating on her we would all have a very different opinion of this situation and wouldn’t even be discussing his feelings.
You said it took you 5 minutes to get him to do it.so you have no reason to b upset
Wow! You sat there making out with another woman and pressured him into it after him saying no and now you are upset because you can’t try it with a Male and say he initiated it?! I think you need to re-evaluate if you want to be in your marriage. If you feel the need to bring others into your bedroom, you obviously don’t have the desire you once had for him. What a horrible thing for you to say, blaming your husband for your decision to put him in that situation. Being drunk is no excuse. You remember it, you knew what you were doing.
The fact that you had to convince him for 5 minutes tells me it wasn’t consensual you also state that “he gave in” that’s not consent that’s coercion and you are being selfish by saying you didn’t get to with another guy because he is Geri violated and you aren’t being supportive at all if the roles were reversed everyone would be cracking up hard saying kick him to the kerb
Siiiiiisssss he just disgusted now cause he had his fun now you want to bring a guy into it!!! Lol
Wait… Everyone’s talking shit but y’all made a damn agreement. That’s what would piss me off. Maybe you need to evaluate who you are with and where YOU stand with that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what y’all did… But maybe it’s not his thing… And that’s ok too! Maybe you two just shouldn’t be together …
I believe God created Adam and Eve 1 man 1 woman why would anyone want to go against what GOD created as a perfect Union.
And this my friends is why you don’t get married if you can’t be happy and faithful to your partner 
Sounds like your done been married to him, you want out and are trying to justify it
You talked him into it and he said no…this shoulda been a discussion, a sober discussion and then y’all coulda done what y’all wanted to. My concern is, you got caught cheating and that’s the only reason you asked him to join in the first place!
Getting consent after pressing for 5 minutes on the spot in front of others is not consent, it’s coercion.
These things and boundaries all should have been talked about WAY before this. He’s absolutely entitled to his feelings and boundaries on this situation and it sounds like he was pushed into something he was uncomfortable with. Had this been a woman, many comments on this subject would be completely different. His consent matters, his feelings matter.
You also owe your partner an apology for not getting his proper consent.
If you want to continue seeking this type of open relationship you will need a different partner. Because forcing or pushing your partner into something he’s uncomfortable with is absolutely not ok.
Honestly it seems that u push him. I’ve not seen many serious relationships that did that and it didn’t pretty much ruin them because one of them got jealous and couldn’t get over it. I feel like u don’t love him as u think u do if your upset that u can’t have sex with another man. Maybe if that’s what u wanna do u should leave this man alone and let him find someone that only wants him like he deserves. He seems like a respectful man that wants to be with and love only one woman.
You absolutely pressured him into it. Super wrong.
is this chick for real?
what you did is disgusting. there’s no way around it. i agree with the comments on consent. you coerced him into having a threesome, which is a word i won’t use because it can be triggering to others. what you did is unacceptable. if it were the other way around, people would be urging you to leave him and report him. just because he’s a man doesn’t change what you have done. he should leave you and find someone who respects him and his boundaries. at the very least, you need to get therapy.
Seems like this wasn’t your first rodeo. It’s not the alcohol, you wanted this to happen then coerced him into it only AFTER you get caught? You’ve got a lot of growing up to do. Just leave the relationship and you’re free to do whatever with whomever. He sounds ready for a relationship…you my dear, are not.
“I was trying to convince him….”
“He was saying no……”
Coercion isn’t cool. AT. ALL.
Grow the hell up!!! He needs to get out and away from YOU!!
Ahh can’t be mad at him he told you no then you talked him into it. Now after sober and thinking he regrets it. This is why three some should never happen. They aren’t worth the after math.
How are u seriously upset about how he’s feeling when u literally had to beg him to do it? Then u expect him to wanna do it again?? 
Sounds like u just wanna sleep around and want him to participate so u won’t be a cheater on your own!
He caught you with someone else??
He didn’t want to join and you pressured him until he gave in?
Now he feels disgusted by it all?
That is rape.
Everything about this is so wrong.
I hope he will get the therapy he needs for this.
He tried it, even though he was pressured and he didn’t like it… if you respect him and your relationship you’d let it go, and probably should get some counseling.
never bring someone else into your marriage
I think you’re fucking stupid.
You pretty much forced him to participate, then You make a deal to try with a man! It was your idea with the female and sounds like manipulative behavior to be able to have intercourse with another man. I’d be pissed too.
Yea you started it and took advantage while he was drunk. Divorce him if u wanna be a ho
Lol you can’t say it’s not fair and be upset
You put him on the spot, you were already fooling around .
Guess u need to respect boundaries
Regardless of gender of the 3rd person
U now got a definitive no.
U played your cards wrong 
It wasn’t discussed or agreed upon ahead of time, so you were just cheating by doing sexual things with another woman.
You coerced him into joining after being discovered.
I’m no therapist but I’m willing to bet that a lot of his disgust is from being coerced. He is a victim.
It would be different if he begged you for a threesome with another woman and promised one with a man in return, then went back on the deal. But it sounds like that’s not what happened at all.
I agree you never should have pushed him into it that’s not cool to me it’s sexual assault you can’t take advantage of someone cause they are drunk men have been sent to jail for that shit
Because I haven’t seen a comment saying this yet. No means no. Coercion is rape. If he said no and you kept on until he said yes then you indeed raped him. Yall need to end things. You can’t force someone into something and then get mad that he doesn’t want to do it again. You sound very narcissistic saying that. Honestly he should run for the hills because you sound crazy controlling.
Gross… your husband thinks so too
No means no… from the first “No” that’s spoken, with both men and women.
You don’t keep asking over and over—pressuring him to give in, sober or inebriated.
He’s also entitled to change his mind on any sexual topic that makes him uncomfortable, and if you respect him, you should give him that boundary; I’m sure you’d expect the EXACT same courtesy. Educate yourself on SA (coercion) and all its faucets, and do better… Way better.
Definitely need to discuss this kind of thing before hand and understand each other’s boundaries. My hubby wants me to bring a guy in. No females just 1 single guy and he wants to watch him have sex with me. But before I ever would do that I would make sure we both like the guy. The guy knows the stimulations and how he has to leave right away afterwards we don’t meet up without my hubby etc. it’s all about rules that both parties agree on!
So you were caught cheating and now you’re mad…?
I mean he did tell you no, after you had already started with the female!!! Are you saying his feelings don’t matter in this situation and only yours does?? Wow!!!
You 100% forced him into doing it, at this point it doesnt matter how you feel…you are the jerk here…if the roles were reversed it and he forced you into saying yes your thought process would have been different
Eww… he needs to leave you asap… you know what you’re doing and it’s not right… good luck in getting any type of normalcy back in your relationship now
Did you discuss what happens with other females before you started to mess around with her? Is he okay with that? Did he feel like you were cheating when he was pressured to join you?
I don’t think this thread is going the way she thought it would ….
This is why we don’t make rash decisions while drunk 
You insisted he join in! He didn’t initiate it .if I were him I would leave you !
If your husband says no, you’d better listen, he’s expressing disgust in doing this, he may already be gone from this marriage , just a matter of time before he leaves you, if you want to keep your husband simply STOP
He said no for 5 minutes…he was basically pressured. You wanted her so had him join so you could have her. He’s not down for it, some men just aren’t…
You are the one who chose the scenario. You chose to have sex with a girl. For you, not for him. Now you’re mad because you got your way and you can’t further manipulate him. He didn’t slight you in any way. You use vague language to justify your infedelity, “it just happened” one thing let to another. Sex doesn’t just happen, you chose for it to happen. You made a mistake. Leave him alone about it.
That is sexual coercion which is assault. And now you are stating you’re upset because he’s upset it happened and doesn’t want to do it again with a man? You sound very abusive and you need help. You need to leave him alone because it sounds like you’re starting to do it all over again.
That was all on you you had to beg him to join for 5 minutes
This was coercion not consent. The fact you are mad because you now want a man is disturbing. It’s important to do either monthly check ins with your partner or quarterly check ins and ask questions about if you are happy, about goal, etc. In this situation it sounds like you are looking for more excitement and something different. it’s great to talk to your partner and make agreeable decision and not you forcing your ways and agenda to him. He tried it and he don’t like it, respect his decision and if it’s a deal breaker to you than you have to do what’s best for you but you owe him an apology.
Well it kinda sounds like you put his man hood on blast and that YOU wanted the 3 some with the girl, not him. So don’t be mad when he tells you he don’t want you sleeping with another dude. And it’s also not unfair if him to think this way bc once again HE DIDNT WANT TO. If roles were reversed it would be sexual assault for a man to talk a women into doing a sex act she didn’t want to do. Your case is no different miss ma’am!
Oh woww this is all kind of wrong…me and my man do this allll the time BUT it is discussed beforehand and we both choose our 3rd partner. We are both bisexual so its fun for both of us but we never do it behind eachothers back
He didn’t “get to get it” with a woman. Re-read what you described. He walked in on you and at that point you offered to make it a threesome. He said “No” and you pressured him into it. He then says “No” again about trying a repeat performance except with another guy? And you’re upset about that? What you did amounts to sexual assault. If the shoe was on the other foot and you walked in on him and another man without you, how would you feel? I don’t blame your husband. Fair doesn’t even enter into this. I have nothing against experimentation, but only if it’s between two consenting adults. Your husband has no desire to experiment with another man. Respect that and get over it.
I will never be part of anyone that thinks or believe in homosexuality’s. It’s disgusting and irritating. The feelings you get from a man to woman is the best and i can have that as a man and be satisfied, period…
Coercion is not consent
May HE Move on & fast.
He Caught you making it with another woman and you conned him to YOUR sneaky rendezvous.
I am going out on a limb but if it was that easy for you to go into another room with a woman at a party that your partner was AT the same place, I would say you may have done this before when he wasn’t in the same place.
It doesn’t matter because now that he doesn’t want to And you like it it won’t work.
You’ve unlocked a mess, and you can’t go back to being a normal couple ESPECIALLY if you want more and he doesn’t.
You don’t deserve HIM and he should run run run.
Eight years and you weren’t happy… cheating or anything similar is an easy way out when you want a change in your life. Take it, leave this kind man that lives you so much, he tried anything.
I hope he finds happiness. I hope you find peace, because the only one that can make you
happy is you…
And y’all this isn’t her husband…that’s why she keeps saying partner…he’s even more free to dump ths gutter tr ashh than y’all think.
A Christian should never do anything like this. It is sin and there is always a price to pay for sin.
This should have been discussed. WAY before this ever happened.
Yeah this behavior is manipulative and toxic, regardless of gender. You cheated, coerced him despite him saying no, and now you’re mad at him for communicating his emotions about all of it and not continuing to do something he’s uncomfortable with?
Tbh you should drop it, sincerely apologize, recognizing what was wrong with what you did, try to make it up to him, and never do anything like this again.
Perhaps you’d be happier single
You ruined your own relationship by cheating on him and begging him until he said yes only took him 5 mins:woman_facepalming: You guy’s we’re drunk that doesn’t make the matter any better. You guy’s should of sat down and talk about this way before anything happen and sober maybe you wouldn’t be where your at now with your panter … I would be disgusted with myself if i was him too…
No means no. Even when a man says it. You took his consent away. This is the definition of rape. You used coercion and peer pressure along with substances to pressure him into something he expressed he was against in the first place. Then are turning around and gaslighting him by making him out to be the greedy one because YOU want to sleep with another man. You decided coming on the internet, admitting to rape, then saying he is the villain in this story was the best move? Because if this was my brother or someone I loved, I would already be advising him to press charges. SA warrants jail time.
Give him time to process it. But also, it does sound like it was your idea and you pushed him into it so I could see why he feels disgusted and wouldn’t want to go with a guy. Even guys that are on board still don’t typically want two guys in that setting… so I’d say give him time and see what happens… if nothing, maybe let it go.
Oh hell no girl, you clearly pressured him into it all because you were already getting hot and heavy( your words) with her in the room then he walked in…you practically bullied him into it and now your upset that you can’t get with another man…id get your priorities straight before this turns horrible
This is something that should have been discussed thoroughly, not just sprang on someone. Your partner’s feelings are valid.
Go find God and let that man find a non toxic female.
He kept telling you no until he finally gave in. He didn’t want to do it in the first place. He only did it to get you to leave him alone about it. He didn’t like it and he feels disgusted. It has nothing to do with him being fair. It has everything to do with you not listening to him when he said no.
This question is titled wrong. Should be” I got caught cheating on my partner, coerced him into joining, now I want to do it again, but he said no. Am I just a bimbo”?
My answer is yes. You are a bimbo
you did sleep with someone else you slept with a women that is still having sex even if it is the same sex. Your husband expressed himself and you pushed him to have threesome unless there was prior conversations about this situation or wanting to play that out I can see why he was upset. NO you cannot be upset that he doesn’t want to do it with another person. He is more than likely super monogamous where you maybe fall into the poly spectrum also having relations with a women puts you on the queer spectrum. And if it’s just a different cock you need have ask that lady you slept with to strap up.
17 years ago I met my husband on a swingers website. He and I played with several women and couples for about 4 years. We still every now and than have another girl with us, He’s been talking about wanted me to do him and at least 1 other guy. I don’t mind doing that. But I just worry who to get involved with. Good thing is my tubes are tied and no worries there.
Girl You Need Help. That is a Evil Sin .What is Wrong with you. No Respect for him or your self. Seek the Lord before it’s to late for you two.
You seriously trying to come at the guy for being uncomfortable and not wanting to do it again? Fkn
Ummm your the one that did it first with the girl then offered him to join when he clearly didn’t want to. And now you think because he got to do another girl even though it wasn’t his idea you want to sleep with another man. You’re pathetic divorce that poor man and go be with someone who wants to sleep with multiple people. He deserves better!!!
You made that bed. 
Girl you basically forced him into participating 
thats really selfish on your part
Is this for real? Whether it male or female, you started the hot and heaviness, you got caught, your partner stated he wasn’t interested, you pressured him into joining, and NOW you’re mad bc you can get another dick after having another pu$$y in your guy’s bedroom. Get real.
Damn this comments are fucking RUTHLESS. I’m glad so many people are saying she’s in the wrong
You sound selfish … he sounds traumatized.
That’s a form of sexual assault. He continuously told you no to wanting to join you with this other female. You continued to beg and plead for him to join. So he did. That is rape.
Another thing. You’re the one who cheated. Not him.
The fact you are so upset that you forced him to get with another female and and now you can’t get with another male blows my mind. Let that poor man go. Especially since it seems that you just want to be able to have sex with other people besides him.
So you cheated on him, he catches you, so you pressure & coerced him to participate in something he wasn’t comfortable with after saying no for 5 minutes, & now that he’s saying no again you’re mad? Make it make sense.
Poor guy 
you seem very selfish and it sounds like he deserves better and sounds like you should prolly be single.
Wrong in all ways you all need Jesus in your life
You are terribly wrong.
Sounds like you just wanna be with other men to me. You cheated. You got caught and turned it into a game he didn’t want to play. Then you bothered him so much he agreed basically to shut you up. He didn’t want to do it no means no. No matter what YOU want. HE said no and if you cared about said partner at all you would have respected that answer and you didn’t. You are 100% in the wrong for the way you feel. And he is 100% right in what he feels
… you pressured him for 5 minutes??? No means no lady you’re a fucking problem get therapy ! If a man pressured a woman for 5 minutes he’d be burnt at the stake … wake up mental asf if you can’t see you’re a predator of some sort fucking peer presuring people into sex 
Nope he is legit in feeling this way! I felt the same exact way when I seen my ex husband with a female my whole world came unglued it was a 4 some though however I didn’t want no part with the guy and didn’t. They actually ended up having encounters without me afterwards.
You are totally in the wrong. You had to convince him participate and now he’s sorry it ever happened. You’re just selfish
Seems you’re really mad that you don’t get a free pass for another D. You pushed him into a situation with the lady friend and he doesn’t want any parts of it. Respect him it or respectfully end the relationship.
You are the one that pressured him to be with her. This is on you. I feel sorry for your husband being pressured to cheat then knowing you want to fuck someone else, who cares who
I could never idk how some females are okay watching your spouse have sex with another female I don’t share
You are sick, sounds like your husband as some morals and he is right to be disgusted
Orgies, threescore, foursomes etc aren’t for everybody. If he is uncomfortable, don’t push it. If he said no the first time, don’t push it. Your getting upset with him for a decision you decided to leap into first. Instead of discussing it together for a decision.