I think he’s doing it just as a joke or to mess around with them, or atleast that’s how I took it from your post. If it bothers her I would bring it up to him so he’s aware & hopefully he’ll make the change so she can be more comfortable.
My husband does the same. It used to bother me. But the kids get older and deal with it better. I just “ruin his jokes”. If he says the candy is his, I’ll tell the kids no it’s not, it’s yours. Stuff like that so that they know he isn’t serious. To me, he is bullying them Bc they are not his kids. It seems like that’s his way of being mean without actually being mean.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My partner( been together 22 years, just not married) teases the kids a lot
That’s his way of interacting and having fun. I know alot of people who do this, and I do it myself. It’s just trying to get the kids to laugh and have fun, he’s not actually trying to tease them or be irritating. It’s definitely not bullying and it’s absurd to me that you’d even see it that way honestly. He’s doing nothing hurtful in my opinion.
Don’t overthink it. She’s getting upset cause she can tell it bothers you honestly so if you don’t let it bother you I bet she won’t be upset about it.
That’s his way of interacting with her. Having fun. It’s not actually bullying or being mean. My parents did it to me and my sister my grandparents did it I got upset at first when I was younger because I thought they were being serious but when I finally realized they weren’t I picked right back and still do to my mom she’s the only one still living. I do this with my own kids and they pick right back we laugh and joke and have fun
My husband does the same stuff and it took my first born awhile to catch on but my witty daughter caught onto his shenanigans right away.
I love it! We are a joking household and builds such character and I think helps a lot with quick on your feet thinking.
My dad was the same way. I think you are being too sensitive about it. Reassure her he is joking and poking fun and if you loosen up she will too!
You are way overthinking this I have often told my daughter/little cousins when they get birthday/christmas money “oh wow when are you taking me out to dinner” it’s a joke and they always laugh and say “I’m not” or something else it’s just little teasing no harm
Grow up…. This shouldnt even be a question. Shes his daughter just as much as yours and im sure if she had as big of an issue with it as you do she would say something herself.
I do this, and I never do it to be mean. It’s just apart of my witty personality.
I have a little bit of an unpopular opinion I guess. If your daughter is genuinely upset I would talk to him about not treating her that way. If I was genuinely upset about something I wouldn’t want my family to downplay it and tell me it was no big deal. To her, it is a big deal. We as adults shouldn’t allow people to treat us In a way we don’t like so why would we force our children to?
Try to look at as more of her personality. She might be more serious and not a jokey type. That’s ok. He can keep being who he is and let her be who she is. As she gets older I’m sure the dynamic will change and she can express herself more.
Just because “that’s how so and so is” doesnt mean everyone needs to “deal with it” if the kid doesnt like it and is being told its not a big deal that’s how she’s gonna think about most things that upset or bother her, which is not a road anyone should be directed to
She needs to hear him acknowledge her feelings (he’ll prolly feel bad if has any sort of a heart) if that’s how hes been his whole life than you both need to give him realistic chances and opportunities to approach new skills to interact with a young lady vs how he was with his dad and grandad etc
From the sounds of it that’s how he communicates with the kids to make them laugh because it doesn’t sound like he’s doing it intentionally to hurt them but just overdoes the teasing abit
Most men that love you and his family tease and aggravate. They do get annoying but it’s harmless fun. Learn ways to get him back for his teasing
It’s called bullying in schools if you do that!
To everyone saying just get over it. So, if uncle “John” always wanted Jane to hug him and sit in his lap and it bothered her and she cried would you still make her do it because that’s how uncle John is? Just because that’s his kid and it’s “how he is” and was raised doesn’t mean anyone has to deal with it every person (kids included) because they are people has their own personality and mind and if they don’t like something they should be able to express it. Now, I wouldn’t expect dad to change his ways completely but maybe they could talk to him and compromise. Maybe he can be less joking when it’s a more serious mood or if he sees her getting upset he can lay off so she doesn’t cry or get too emotional. Kids are allowed to have their own thoughts and feelings just like we are.
We tease all the time. Even the 2yr old. My big kids (not my current boyfriends kids) they will come and say my mumma (shes a big mommas girl) and hug me and she will go up and take their hands off and try climbing on me. Or ill randomly grab an older one and say my sissy. She says no my sissy and so on. Its just teasing in good fun.
These are his children as well? I’m assuming, since you’ve been together 22 years and have a 6 year old.
Now you’re asking if you should tell your child’s father to stop joking with his daughter ??
I would tell my daughter he thinks your toy IS SO COOOOL that dad wishes he could have one, too.
He’s literally picking so she will say nooooo that’s miinnnneee!
I feel like your daughter would not see an issue with this, unless you’ve shown her she should have an issue with this.
Your grown partner does not want the marker set, or actually want a 3 day birthday because your daughter did. I find this crazy you are taking it to this level
I see nothing wrong lol I just see a playful Dad.
Maybe he needs to leave you and find someone else that can take jokes like really…hes just joking that is not bullying. Id hate to be around someone like you that cant even joke…i feel sorry for your child def will get picked on since she cant even take a joke also because of you. Aint nobody gonna wanna be around people like yall if yall cant even take a joke smh
Some kids are more serious. I was one of those kids and my dad and his whole family love poking fun at everybody. It’s definitely not done with bad intentions and they do it to those they love especially. I didn’t really understand it and would get upset alot which set me up for even more teasing but once I got older I felt ridiculous for how upset I would get and find it funny now. I went froma very serious kid to looking for any reason to smile and feel good and laugh especially. Maybe talk to her a little more about different personalities and love languages and have the conversation about not taking things personally. Maybe help her with some witty comebacks for when she’s had enough because her feelings matter too. I hope this helps!
My Dad, my Papa… I really think it’s “Dad” thing.
It just sounds like his personality isn’t your style.
Sounds like Dad needs to find other ways to interact with the kids
Wow is this all you have to think about in life. I do this to my kids. They think it’s funny.
When your kid says they are uncomfortable by your actions- your actions being making fun of them and belittling them- you should probably take a new approach
And people wonder why their kids have social anxiety and can’t function in work type environments. People wonder how Karens come about…wellll…here ya go! Susie who is 6 is serious and doesn’t like teasing…so we all as a family must lose our sense of humor to accommodate because Lil Susie has deemed light hearted teasing as bullying. Ok…she changed the dynamics of the family… then she practices the same tactics in public and it doesn’t work so well for her…so she just throws an insane fit…because she doesn’t know how to cope…so Lil Susie turns into Karen.
My husband has done this with our daughter since day one. At first she was like your daughter and would get mad and upset. When he told me that is who he is I sat down with her and we talked about how he just likes teasing and isn’t mean about it. So together we thought of ways we could tease him first. Now they have the best relationship and enjoy teasing and prancing each other every chance they get
Unless homeboy is teasing the kids about their weight or choice of hobbies or interest or anything that is actually hurtful, this isn’t bullying. This is how he interacts and has fun with his kids. Chill.
Not everyone’s child is the same so stop comparing your children to her daughter. If my child told me something someone else is doing is making them uncomfortable I’m not gonna make them conform to it… the behavior is gonna have to stop. Making them just “deal with it” is a terrible way to go about it. if someone else who isn’t her father makes her uncomfortable is she supposed to be okay with that too?
Looks like you have mixed views and comments here.
I’d speak with him, just maybe ask him to dial it back, explain it makes you and your daughter uncomfortable. Explain that you understand it’s endearment to him, but not to you. Don’t ask him to change his entire personality, but maybe wait until the 6 yr old is a bit older, like in her teens before giving her a hard time all the time lol.
It’s a dad thing. It’s normal
Wow! This is harmless. You need to go read the news and see what are actual kid problems instead of teaching your child that everyone around her needs to change to placate her.
My daughter is like that and I’ve tried to tell her they are just picking and joking. It seems like I’m the only one allowed to do it to her. In 14 years tho she’s kinda used to it from her pops still don’t like it.
Just talk to him and let him know show she feels.
Both you and your kid need to stop being babies it’s literally harmless, he isn’t bullying them. If he was putting then down with the teasing it would be different. This whole post is so sad
Karen in the making…
Everyone is different. Sorry you are getting some of the comments On here. I hated that crap when I was a kid…and I’m far from a Karen & don’t need to lighten up. Yeah, in some respects it is a dad thing …probably super harmless… but it’s bothering your daughter…That alone would make me address it with him. Maybe he could lighten up the jokes. What bothers one child , might not bother another. What might feel like jokes potentially could feel like bullying to a young child…best of luck to you
It’s just joking around to me , me and my son’s be sarcastic and jokey to one another they enjoy the banter but I know ppl can do it to a point where it can annoy and piss u off cus my partner loves to wind me up and knows how lol
He is playing with the kids not teasing them. I am sorry your parents didn’t play with you
Absolutely tell him to cut the nonsense. They don’t like it.
As long as its not belittling and bullying then it is what it is , but if you’re daughter says stop and he keeps doing it he is teaching her that he doesn’t value her saying stop , this also teachers her that men or people don’t have to listen to her needs or wants. teasing is fun and funny but only if both people are laughing.
You’re trippin get a grip
Sounds like a child himself
I know the feeling because every situation is different and everything has it place and time. Not every time I feel like joking. I want to be alone. So y’all to him and tell him how you feel.
Pretty sure it’s a dad thing.
Sounds like he has a wonderful sense of humor! He likes to make you all laugh. Sounds like you and your kids don’t do that enough. Teach them not to be offended by everything. It’s okay to be happy.
My dad always teased us like that and we found it funny
We tease a lot in my family…as long as it’s not hurting their feelings or name calling, I’m fine with it. But I also know when to stop. My nephew likes when I play with him like that, but if he starts taking it the wrong way & getting upset & angry I back off and reassure him I’m teasing and we stop for the day. Maybe he can just watch for signs & see how they’re taking it & then realize when it’s time to quit
Ok I’m gonna sound like that one…
If she is taught to just deal with it, how is this addressing her boundaries? And how is she to know in the future if she is being verbally abused or just being sensitive bc that’s what ppl always called her when she complained about the teasing?
This could quite literally set the tone for future relationships.
I married a jokester type and my one rule with our children is if they aren’t laughing and having a good time then it ain’t funny and you should stop.
No one understands why I’m so adamant about that but now that she’s a teen she can say things like, no and stop and that’s not funny. And she can do it without a trembling in her voice. I personally think that suits her better than saying, suck it up I’m just being funny.
Have her talk to him and her tell him how it makes her feel
Teach your 6 yr old to take a joke. He won’t be the only trying to tease her as she gets older.
I don’t think dad is the problem here
There’s a lot of terrible parents in these comments.
I feel there’s a fine line Dad has to learn not to cross. Its ok to tease and play…its not ok to reduce a child to tears because of it.
If she doesn’t like it , she doesn’t like it . I’m not understanding why force her to like something she clearly doesn’t . Just because he’s her father doesn’t mean she has to like every one of his personality traits . As long as she’s respectful, then it’s okay . If he can see she doesn’t like it and he keeps doing it , that’s on him
Wish my dad was still here to tease me! He was a big jokester and I miss it and him
Give her a witty comeback when dad is teasing her so she knows how to do it and not let it upset her. Reinforce that he’s not serious, just trying to get her to laugh. See if she can learn some jokes or you or dad teach her how to kid around with others. Watch kid-friendly comedies with her & explain why they’re funny, not mean. It’ll build her resilience. Tell dad maybe be gentler or don’t tease as often if it continues to bother her. If she is just too serious, tell her to say, “that’s not funny and it hurts my feelings,” but give her a chance to catch on and give it right back first.
Mine loved to aggravate the kids. If anything was purchased for a child, he had to have something too. Kids birthday parties, he would be drunk, embarrassing the kids, he’d break their favorite toys or dolls or movies and when they cried he’d laugh at them. Called my boys names if they cried. Emotion was a no no
My hubby and daughter tease each other daily as well.if my girl expressed how it bothered her I would stop in and insist my hubby refrain from doing it anymore and explain to him why.
Well everyone has their own boundaries if she hates it that much make her tell him so it is clear it’s her that doesn’t like it but at the same time teach her that that’s how some people joke and play that kinda goes both ways ig they both have something to learn here
It’s a dad thing my dad and husband both do it as do all my uncles I know it’s hard to tell a 6 year old but she needs to learn to take a joke or she will get hurt a lot in life because people joke and pick in every walk of like
Sometimes I read these questions and then I think to myself “are people really that soft now”
Sounds like the dad has a personality you knew this before getting into a relationship and having kids with him.
Your 6 YO needs to soften up he’s her dad and is trying to play around with her, lighten the mood
I tease my kids and my kids tease me even my grandchildren do it. Shows love I reckon rather have abit of laughter in our lives than whinging ect
I get annoyed when people do that all the time too. It doesn’t matter how you or I find it though…your daughter doesn’t like it so he should stop or at last rein it in. If the point is that “it shows love” the fact that she’s uncomfortable with it to the point that she’s thinking about how she’ll parent negates that point.
This all seem like pretty normal dad things ? The one with the markers is super normal
Omg this sounds like my dad he likes to aggravate & tease has done it all his life just part of who he is. My he does it to all the grands an of course all of his kids but he doesn’t care who he does it to honestly lol. My grandpa is laid back quite calm so it annoys him so bad an aggravates him especially when it comes to the grand kids lol. I think it annoys aggravates people more who doesn’t share that kind of high energy personality! My 5 year old just starts talking smack back an then tells him to fight him lol
I’m 30 years old and my dad still teases me like this. I don’t think it’s something you can opt out of
It sounds like he’s just playing around. Does it bother the kids? If so teach them to stand up for themselves. If he doesn’t listen to his kids then he is doing it to hurt them.
I understand dad is teasing but it still hurts. My dad was the same way. He has a very dry sense of humor. If you can talk to him, let him know she does not like it, that it hurts her feelings. He may be receptive and doesn’t realize how she feels because that is how je grew up he sees nothing wrong with it.
A lot like how my step dad was/is with me. It’s out of love, guys are just silly. Lol
That’s a dad personality to me
This is mostly normal and harmless for the kids except the one that states she doesn’t like it. At that point she is put into an uncomfortable situation that she isn’t capable of stopping and she feels helpless. He can tease all the other kids in the world that are ok with it and like it but he needs to leave that little girl alone and anybody else that says stop or don’t. Have a talk with him and explain that some people are fine with a bit of teasing but other people can’t handle it at all and he needs to learn to read the situation when she’s getting uncomfortable so he can turn it around and they can both enjoy spending time together. Also teach your daughter to tell him STOP, I’m uncomfortable. A lot of times people don’t fully realize how they are making a child feel until the child speaks up for themselves
Well maybe that’s his way of trying to bond with her. It could be a little hard for him to find something in common with a little girl. When I was around 4/5 my mom started dating my dad and he used to tease me the same way I used to say I didn’t like it or him but I did, I was just little and didn’t know how to tease back… to this day I’m closer with my dad than my mom…
It’s no big deal but if it truly bothers your daughter, validate her feelings and tell your husband how it makes her feel and that he needs to put a lid on it when it comes to her.
Lol don’t step in my house
My partner likes teasing us all .my dad did it too when I was growing up
Lol I “tease” my daughter all the time. I tell her things like “wow, daddy bought me ice cream!” Or “no, that’s my mawmaw”. It’s just the way I was raised. It’s definitely not even close to bullying and I can’t believe you would compare the 2. You ever heard of a dad joke? I swear some of these posts can’t be real, or you’re just too uptight. You been married for 20 years and the biggest complaint is he pokes fun with his kids?
My dad used to tease us. I tease my kids from time to time. Generally if I see them getting upset tho I reassure them that I’m only picking on them and not being serious or trying to hurt their feelings. They also tease us right back lol
If he’s not respecting your daughters wish to stop teasing her he’s a jerk
I understand that you didn’t grow up in a household like that, but it really is normal. My dad used to do the same thing to me and my brother. It was always jokes. My husband does the same with our 8 year old. She will walk in the house with a milkshake and he will be like “oh, you brought me a milkshake, that so sweet of you” and as he goes to reach for it, she will hold it tight, give him an evil little smirk, say “it’s mine” and run off. He will head after her going “gimme my milkshake. That’s mine”. As they get older, they learn that personally and join in. My husband does the same with our 13 year old son, only our son will go back at him. Dad says “boy, your breath smells like teeth” and our son will come back with something just as goofy and off the wall. My dad and father in law, my brother and brother in laws are all the same way. I honestly think it’s just Dad jokes. My 8 year old also says what your daughter says, that she will never tease her kids like that… but she will. I learned it from my dad. I tease the kids too. One will come and tell me that she knows she is my favorite kid. I’ll remind her that the cat is my favorite kid. One will ask what’s for dinner, and I’ll say liver and onions with brussel sprouts because I know it’s something they don’t like. I understand you were raised by just mom, but after 22 years with a jokester, you should have adapted by now. Lol. I really do think it’s dad just picking and teasing. Maybe to help ease the way your daughter feels, you should help her tease dad back. When he says “all that cake is for me”, you help her cut the smallest piece possible and put it on a plate for dad and have her tell him that’s all he gets. Eventually she will feel comfortable with the back and forth teasing. I think maybe she is looking to you, as mom, on how she should react.
Sounds like a typical dad… a loving, playful dad…
When I was little I used to say “dad, I’m hungry” he would say “hi hungry, I’m dad!”
I absolutely hated… But, I love doing the same to my kids… Who indeed, hates it just as much as I did.
Man yall wouldnt survive in my house if you react like this to alittle bit of dad teasing pretty sure it’s just a dad thing my whole entire family be like that we love picking on each other, I think you need to calm down and learn to take a joke
Its fine. My husband is like that. When my middle child was younger it would make her mad. I just kept reiterating to her that its him joking. Just the other day he said something teasingly and she told him he was a rooster without the cock a doodle doo. (She has no clue what kind of burn that could be considered since she’s 8 but it was funny as hell.) It might also help if dad talks to her and let’s her know that he’s just trying to play with her and agree to stop if she really hates it.
He’s teasing honey, teasing makes for fun he’s not being malicious and hey maybe your kids won’t grow up to be offended by everything or another cancel culture
Wow everybody is on here saying she’s overthinking it and needs to relax and that it’s normal. Only problem is it bothers the child. Teasing his only in good fun if everyone is on board. Knock it off and show your affection in a different (better) way. You are the adults. (And I say this as a silly jokester/teaser myself. )
You’re going to have a rough time in life if this upsets you this bad to whine on Facebook
I do wonder with all the people laughing at “it’s just a joke”… do you all really not listen to your kids and what they want?
Stopping to think what lesson it teaches if the girl says “I do not like this” and dad says “I do not care, I do” what lesson it teaches her?
I think it falls under the “you have to give them a hug/kiss it’s (insert family member)” logic really.
Teaching kids they have no voice or say in how they are interacted with is just weird.
“That’s how they show they love you” by doing something you don’t like and have said you don’t like? That’s the lesson y’all want to teach your kids? That adults and people who love you get to do whatever even if you say you don’t like it?
We tease a ton in our house, snarky from all sides but there are some topics our youngest has said she doesn’t like being teased on, sooooooo we don’t
It’s not life changing, not because she’s overly sensitive, doesn’t set her up for anything but knowing we care enough to hear her and as adults, control ourselves and that she has a say in how the people she loves interact with her.
Don’t think it lands in bullying but for sure lands in teaching your daughter those around her get to treat her however under the guise of “love”.
Sounds like he just has a fun wind up kind of personality…and believe me u could have worse. Doesn’t really seem like a big deal to me…he actually sound like a really fun guy to be around. Please don’t ever come to my house as me AND my kids are like that…and spend half our time winding and slagging each other off…all in good faith! I think u should maybe teach your daughter to lighten up (not trying to sound nasty) but in this day and age, we all need to have thick skin and not let tiny little things get to us xx
Its ONLY harmless if it doesn’t affect the child. The child doesn’t like it so it’s bullying and he needs to stop. I would talk to him about it.
My husband does the same thing. However you should talk to him about doing it with the 6yr old since she seems to really hate it! He can still be him and respect her boundaries at the same time.
If she doesn’t like it and it’s hurting her it’s bullying. Playful teasing is only playful when everyone is having fun.
Sounds like a fun loving dad. She’ll miss it one day.
Poor guy, he needs to run far far away from you and your kids
Tell your daughter to learn how to take a joke. Not one single thing you said that he does strikes me as abnormal. Sounds like she is in for a hard life if something this mild and innocent upsets her.