Make up his mind for him and get outta there. It’s not worth the stress; you’re worth more than the way he is treating you. 
Had same happen to me but after 20years, could not get pass it so I left, hurt like hell but glad I did!
Just remember one thing…a cheater will always be a cheater…but come to think about your kids…,counselling is good…but make sure it works…it takes 2 to tango…
I rarely chime in on posts like this but seems like after so long and he shows a red flag like that? I say stand your ground and keep yourself and your kids as your priority.
Kick him to the curb. Probably the other relationship didn’t work out and you are his fall back chick! Better off without him!
I agree, run and never look back, everything will fall
In place, trust me😬
if u truly wanna work things out u need to do therapy together…and by urself. the cut is still frech. my husband cheated when i was 6 months pregnant with our son and i chose to stay…it was rough at first…like really rough…i still have my moments. but we got thru it for the most part. therapy helps alot
If it has only been the one time, and it was just sex with no feelings involved, then I would say give another chance. If he wants to work through things with you, make sure you see effort from him though. Maybe sit down and have a talk about things you both need from the other person.
If he cheated once he will do it again
Some men are not able ‘not to’. He wasn’t truly yours or he wouldn’t have been tempted. Let him go. You would only be looking at divorce down the road or a miserable life with a man who had already told you how he feels.
Leave!!! Once a cheater, always a cheater, you will never be able to truly trust in him again, as you once did. Every time he goes out, or you are not together, you will always wonder!!! Life is tooo short to always be worried!!!
How will this effect the kids? It is not all about u. How old r they and are they close to him? I am of the school if he is a good man not abusive, not on drugs,not an alcoholic, and not a gambler plus has a good job then I would be staying and trying to work it out, See a therapist and give it a shot.
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Everyone deserves a second chance but if they’re not willing to actually work for it then it’s time to leave!
Leave him. Start over and be free. That is not okay. You did not deserve it. No need to pay for it. It WILL be hard at first. But it WILL be worth it.
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He isn’t committed. 8 years together and 3 kids with no ring. He wants his cake and eat it too. If he doesn’t work it out he will have to pay child support. He is taking you for a fool like you will always be there. Run!!!
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How is he as a Partner? How was the 8 years together? How is he as a Father? Answer those questions then make a decision based on that, not one mistake.
It’s going to take time and he has to work through the bomb he unloaded on you. What you do he has to deal with. It will take time and lots of it. You have to ask yourself if you can handle living through this
Nope. Adios. Sounds like he will enjoy yanking you around. No time for all that heartache with 3 kids.
Being in love is different then loving someone.
Walk away. I was with my ex for 12 years and i know he cheated at least 6 times. They do it once they will do it again!
When trust is gone it is damn near impossible to regain. Smh. Don’t be a fool but also don’t give up so easy. He asked to work in it but you need to determine if that is out of love or guilt.
I would say try therapy. I was married to a wonderful man for 18 years til he passed away. Been 22 years I was 45. Still a widow. I realized that if you can’t be with the right one, being alone is just fine, my daughter feels the same. I will put you in my prayers.
He wants to work it out. What do you want to do is the real question. He has zero say in what happens now.
In my experience cheaters will cheat again. Save yourself the heartache. The cheater doesn’t respect the cheated on
If you stay together, and he has already confessed that he’s no longer in love with you, what’s to stop him from cheating again? Would it be fair to your children if the two of you stay together? Keep in mind that children pick up on a lot more than you think!
I’m sorry in my experience once a cheater always a cheater he don’t know what the hell he wants he’s just saying he wants to work it out now because he’s been with you for so long interfab you might not have anywhere else to go I don’t know your situation so I can’t really say but that’s my opinion can’t help but if you both can get past that and he’s going to be faithful and he is in love with you then that’s great God bless you both you’re both stronger than I am because if that were me and my man did that and then said that I drop his ass
I would never stay with someone who told me they cheated and that they weren’t in love with me anymore.
There’s really nothing to work on. When he cheat on you he already made his decision. Best thing is to move on.
Get rid of him!IT IS “ALL ABOUT HIM” SHE PROBABLY DID NOT WORK OUT THE WAY HE WANTED WITH HER SO NOW HE HAS NOBODY TO GO TO ,SO HE WILL USE YOU UNTIL SHE COMES BACK OR STILL IS IN HIS LIFE.HE WANTS HIS CAKE AND EAT IT TOO .NO NEVER TRUST HIM IT IS AFFECTING “YOUR LIFE” WHEN HE IS WITH OTHER YOU KNOW YOU DO NOT MATTER! I WENT THREW THAT CRAP HE HAD 3 THAT I KNOW OF! I WAS HIS MEAL TICKET AND PUNCHING BAG WHEN HIS HOS WHERE NOT THERE FOR HIM ! HE ALMOST KILLED ME!LEAVE GO RUN RUN RUN FAR FAR DO NOT LOOK BACK
No. It doesn’t matter if he told you the truth and was remorseful. That’s manipulation. Don’t fall for that. There’s red flags left right and center there. LEAVE.
Time to move on … it’s hard but he will regret it … you will find someone much better.
all I can say is that you both have to agree not to bring it up again. Also he has to know that you will now have trust issues and that us hard. He will have a lot of work to do
He obviously doesn’t love you because he said so. Love yourself and leave.
I feel like trust is like a ladder… if the step breaks, it can’t be fixed with glue and tape, it has to be REPLACED
Time to move on. He told you he isn’t in love with you anymore, and he’ll do it again eventually.
I was with my ex for 23 1/2 yrs 5 great kids out of it ( 8 total 3 were mine before hand). He cheated every chance he got. He was abusive. We were just toxic. Nobody can tell u what to do sweetie. I have always been told once a cheater always a cheater. Also remember its a choice on whether or not either or not stay faithful.
Ask yourself could you ever feel the ame again. If the answer is yes then work on it, if the answer is no move on
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People always think the grass is greener on the other, but when they get there they realize that’s where the sewer is!
Know your worth, and understand that those who cheat are exponentially more likely to continue
So,let me get this straight.He cheats,then tells you he no longer in love with you.
And he wants to workout things and you feel like you’re the only one trying to save your marriage.
You’re doing this for your kids,but its not worthy it…
So,what will you do when he cheats again?
Just leave him.
Leave now! I put up with lies and cheating for far too long! This is the one you found out about , there are others.
My Dad told me once when I was upset over my husband kinda the same deal… But he said its not what they do its what they mean by what they do. 
On mine it meant he didnt give a rats butt about me .
He’s the one that cheated he should be the one that move mountains to keep you. 3 kids are worth staying for.
Only you will be able to answer this question. If you’re having a hard time letting it go, you have your answer. Follow your heart.
Leave. He just panicked afterwards and wants his safe space. Don’t deny the inevitable.
There’s a million ways he can try to win you back. Know your worth.
He is not in love with you honey! He cheated on you it’s time to move on
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Make him marry you. Obviously , both of you were holding out for better. And he found it. Now he wants you back…tell him the price is commitment. What you had was not that. …that is why he cheated. You both basically agreed to "we like each other now…but if something better comes along…then okay. " So don’t act like he cheated…you told him you were okay with that by not having a marriage.
Do the right thing for you kids and marry their father.
So I am going to be honest. If he wants to work on it, it’s worth a shot.
He wants to work on it because his other fling didn’t want him. It’ll be tough, but get out now.
My husband cheated on me,with that said,First Step,Do you want to work it out,if so,Ask GOD to be front and center of your relantionship. Second I would advise go to marriage counseling at your local church and let GOD guide you.When i did this 15 yrs ago I can proudly say we have been happily married going on seventeen yrs this september,FYI WE HAVE GOD in the center and contine to learn from each other daily
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Once someone kills the trust in a relationship it is almost impossible to regain. If it was just once it may be possible but if cheats with more than one person get out ad fast as u can.
The problem is that he loves you but not inlove with you. Chances of him hurting you and staying with you for the sake of the kids are very high. You cannot build a relationship alone. Being inlove and staying inlove is very important. Focus on yourself and your kids for now until he’s mind is made up.
He’s broken your trust. Your mind is in turmoil. You must think of your self just as he has done. There is no point in keeping your family together to break up later. You need to work thru your own feelings and emotions. Decide if you still love him?if love is enough?if you trust him?if the risk is worth all the energy?Is he worth it? Please do not marry this man. If he isnt making real efforts to win you over by showing his love and humility, understanding how much he’s hurt you then dont waste any more time. If any friends or family are not supportive of you at this time then stay clear. This is your time, your decision because life is precious and this is your life. I divorced my ex after 13 mths of giving him time to come to his senses and me time to grow in emotional strength. It was the best thing I ever did. I taught our children to love and respect their dad and I moved out on, remarried 3 yrs later and been married for 27 yrs very happily. I have never stopped having occasional contact with my ex and still care for him as he gave me 3 beautiful children. My marriage to him was awful, all one sided, his side but I was young and in love. He killed that love by betraying me and our children. It was his loss not mine. I have a wonderful husband and great relationships with my kids and 4 super grandchildren. Life goes on but we dont owe any one who betrays us our loyalty or respect. X
After 8 years and 3 kids if they aren’t in love with you why waste your time?
If it was one night stand then i would consider working it out. If it was an affair with emotions involved then no
You must give it a try…! for your own sake…for your children. Believe me you ll be happy to save your marriage in future. These things come and go…its really hard to put up with infedality but such is life!!! Nobody s perfect…life doesnt stop here. Trust me you ll be happy again!!! God bless you!!
Run and don’t stop. He is not a faithful partner
He won’t stop just be more sneaky once a cheater always a cheater run run fast get out he doesn’t deserve you
Once a cheater always a cheater one night stand or not your forgive the first one and they will always do it again
If nothing changes…than nothing changes. Follow your intuition.
Baby girl in my opinion you need some space to process. You probably have soooooooo many racing thoughts being only further battered around by everyone’s comments. There are so many things to consider and if you invite the internet into your home life you’ll get mixed sincerity, resentment, codpendent, sick, and healthy responses. If you can let your mom take the kids so they’re not suspicious and either you OR he go to a hotel. You need space to digest on your own mama and do what’s right for you not what everyone else thinks is right for you. 
i hope you find your peace and whatever that looks like thats okay and whatever you choose thats okay. Just be true to you and dont let anyone else make up YOUR mind
You have to love yourself first and think About your kids first. Talk is cheap but actions are a must.
Sounds like you have your answer…you have to head on out…once you let him get away with this, he will do it again and probably after your married…
Take it from someone who has been there and done that and forgave and tried to work on things. Leave. one thousand times leave.
3 children with my ex he cheated while I was pregnant I left him, I could never forgive him, best decision I made.
Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater…run… find someone that always wakes up thinking they are the lucky one for having you and will faithful.
He’s not in love with you. He will cheat again.
Run! In my book that’s the ultimate sin on a relationship.
love as is an ACT, as in: the ACTions of one considering the other…
Take a break and decide? Some time apart might help you obtain clearer vision.
Always remember the saying…there is no accident…there is only choice…
At the end of the day I don’t think he is the one for you. Don’t waste more time.
If he wants to work then make him do the work… thats what I did… still creeps on my head haven’t forgotten but have forgiven… we talk about it when it creeps in
Draw a line down the middle of a paper on One side write the things you can live with and on the other write what you can not live with not which one is the longest ??? Answer
Bottom line in any relationship is TRUST. It’s be broken.
If he’s not in love with you…no matter how hard you want it or he does, it won’t work…he will just cheat again.
Leave, with your head up. Don’t let your kids see you being treated like this.
Leave. Been with my partner 24 years. If they love youbthey won’t cheat
I am sorry but cheating is not a mistake…He made a choice not a mistake…
Leave it’s not worth the headache or heartache.
Once a cheat always a cheat and second time is easier the guilt fades with each cheat
What’s best for your kids? Leave or stay but do right by them
Nope, real love doesnt lead to one night stands. Dont waste anymore of your time.
Leave…you arent married…I know it hurts but there is something better out there
In my experience they did it once they’ll do it again
I would take time apart before trying to work on things
He cheated on you during the pandemic!! Is there really any question about what you should do?!?
I couldn’t be with someone who slept with someone else, especially a one night stand!!!
Forgive, but do what’s best for you. You can forgive and love them and still choose to walk away.
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It took him 8 years and 3 years to propose. Then he cheats. Dump his butt.
What would you say to your daughter if it was her going through this…you deserve to not have to wonder…love yourself
I would move on. He is one way or another has
What are you confused about? Your family with three kids didnt mean anything to him. He told you the truth. Were you listening? That one night stand could bring StD, another baby and drama from another woman. So is he really worth the drama?
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So sorry for you. I went through my husband cheating on me after being married with 4 children. We decided to work it out through counseling. You need to sit down with him and see what you both want. For the relationship to work you both have to want it and both have to give 100%. Therapy will help you to move on separately or together.
Dump his ass take your babies and move on. Leopards don’t change their spots.
wish you luck, I couldn’t stay,I wouldn’t want my kid’s to think it’s okay to be treated that way.its your decision.
Love yourself 1st!! Love yourself enough to walk away.
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I would leave personally. I wouldn’t want someone who doesn’t love me anymore. Life is short. Go find someone who will love you and not cheat.
Do you. Don’t compromise. What you are comfortable with is what you do. But remember whatever we accept will continue. Stay true to you!!
I have it’s not going to be easy but you have to try and leave such relationship, it’s not good for you
I don’t know the right answer for you, or anyone. I feel for you, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. We can all give you diff opinions, but none of that will change how you feel. Only you know that. Don’t let anyone’s opinion, as in judging you, make your decision either. At the end of the day, it’s your relationship, your life, your children. I can tell you that I have several friends that have been married and:or together for soo long (some 10-25yrs) and they are great. But I’ve learned over time that they were cheated on at some point, or did the cheating. And they moved past it. I can not ever imagine that knowing them now. But am amazed at how they survived it. So I’d never say it isn’t possible. IMO relationships/marriage/love all are decisions yo commit. Feelings go up and down over time and based on life circumstances. You decide if you think it’s possible to forgive him, if you believe he is remorseful and committed to change, and decide what you want, or what you think is best. None of it will be easy, sadly. Praying for your peace and comfort over deciding what’s best for yourself and family.