Ave had 2 kids with colic it can be draining and a horrendous experience maybe bit of postnatal depression and the routine is the only way she feels she has any control and maybe being a new mam she may need a brake from the older 2 read before Karen’s get all jumpy when ii had me 3rd a had me two stepkids 11 12 living with me 5 in total and iit was horrendous a was nearly admitted to hospital with exhaustion a NEEDED A BRAKE I wasnt eating a was I’ll am thinking she lady is just learning everything plus colic maybe she fears she ist good enough or doing it right and yes there your children bit it’s not easy looking after others ppls children when your just had baby
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It sounds like possible PPA. If the routine gets thrown off, she gets thrown off. Are there other indicators that it may be PPA? Anxiety to leave the house and if she does, it’s only with you? An irrational fear of losing the baby? Etc
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First off NOT ALLOWED bull crap. Grow some balls and tell him to kiss your sweet butt and I be damn if I stay upstairs till ten. You need to get rid of that abuse. Stand you ground hit me up if he gives you a problem
Um your her parent also do it anyway u have other children to care for sounds like a serious power trip
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That is beyond ridiculous. Tell him to get over himself and bring her downstairs.
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YOUR children… Their schedule if any should be decided by YOU
Then the partner can stay with the baby while you tend to your other 2 children. This is stupid. Bring the baby downstairs with the family.
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That’s strange. I have heard about the wake up clock but that’s for older children that get up super early. If the baby is only 5 months old and getting up at 6am/7am. Thats her wake up time and her schedule should follow her.
Babies need movement in the morning to exert energy before their next morning nap.
Basic guidelines which I’m sure you can find backed up online to show your partner to help convince them is
Feed
Play
Sleep
If your feeding at 6/7am they shouldn’t be staying in their room till their next feed they should get up for the day and play then go down for their next nap at 9am
I don’t understand why she think she is the rule maker?
Do what is best for your baby. That’s absolutely ridiculous to leave the baby upstairs when everyone else wants to see them and are downstairs
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Not allowed? Are you 5?
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When they say that a schedule is important to follow, they mean a regimented bath time, story time, bed time. Not every second of their lives. What about on holidays and special occasions? Nobody can possibly follow the ‘can’t come downstairs before 10 a.m.’ thing all the time, and it’s ridiculous to even try to make that a “schedule”.
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That sounds absolutely crazy…kick the partner to the curb
Red flags. I’d leave that situation immediately. 
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You go down with your baby when you want 
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This screams TROUBLE. Please have your partner get some help, maybe both of you could go together. This is just NOT normal. At all!! Honey, youre partner is being unreasonable.
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No. That is controlling, not a routine. Absolutely not. Your partner can stay in the bedroom until 10am.
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Routines need to adjust with baby. My daughter was always the one to “make” her routine. We followed her lead and is on a great schedule. As she’s grown the last couple years it has changed a bit. Babies/ kids need us to listen to their needs. She can adjust just like you & baby.
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What a control freak. Youre the parent too so get your baby and put your foot down.
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That’s just wierd to me
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That’s the dumbest “routine” I’ve ever heard of.
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kick that partner to the curb
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Thats not right she needs to make it where you and your kids can enjoy the baby too its not just hers
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7am is a perfect wake up time for a baby…
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The first nap should be at 9 . Babies get up from like 5.30 am play have some breakfast go back to sleep at 9 . What do you mean your partner won’t allow it . It’s your baby who you gave birth to and you need to advocate for your baby.
5 mth old should be trying to crawl ,tummy time in a walker,if wakes up early let get adjusted feed all till nap
Babies schedules change with each milestone they achieve, ie: holding their head up, rolling over, and such…
The schedule CHANGES every few weeks anyway. A PARENT must be flexible to change when the BABY changes. Theirs a thing we did called child led schedule.
You’re the parent feeding the baby. My older kids always loved to be around me when I fed the baby. It’s great bonding time for them too! It SHOULD be a family thing.
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Way too controlling. Your baby your rules.
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Wth 
she sounds like one hell of a control freak. And that’s a dumb routine 10am the mornings almost over:eyes:
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Find a new partner… That one’s time is up…it was at 10am lol
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That’s whack, Jack. 
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You’re not allowed, ? It’s not a toy you need permission to play with. Don’t think I could go with that
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Leave her and love on your babies!!! She sound ridiculous
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That’s not a routine. That’s some weird awkward rule…and you can say no.
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Take your child down stairs, let your partner be pissed all day. Your child needs interaction with others before 10 am. Ridiculous!
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She may have PPD. I would look into it. She may feel like she has to keep the same routine. Don’t write her off just yet. PPD can make you do odd things.
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While I do not see an inherent need for control as in trying to manipulate or isolate people or trying to make the older ones be excluded from the baby, I do see a first time mom (I assume anyways: you did not mention any prior kids from her side, but mentioned your two older ones) whose child is struggling, got some specific in some areas, vague in other areas, advice in how to handle it presumably from doc and is, like most ftm’s, being hypervigilent, overprotective and a little too by the book.
My recommendation would be to at baby’s next appointment (five months old means within the next month or two, vaccinating on the normal schedule or not, especially with something like reflux at play that could affect her development and her weight to ensure she is developing correctly) make sure your partner is there and bring up any concerns you have about the not even really being able to bring baby out of the room until ten in the morning because she is being so adamant with the routine that it is not just timing (the most important part) but also location that she is stressing and see if the Dr can calm her down about it and get her to stop hyper focusing on one area of the child’s health.
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You lost me at allowed. Take your damn baby where ever you want.
What’s with all these “not allowed” posts from adults?! Is he beating you? Threatening to harm you or the children? You are grown and can do whatever you want. He can voice his opinion but he can’t stop you from coming downstairs.
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Not allowed? Girl get out of here with that. Take the baby downstairs. That’s late in the day for a baby.
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In a relationship… NO ONE should tell you, a grown ass person, what you are ALLOWED to do. Wtf… leave!
A 5 month old doesn’t need to feed every three hours firstly so maybe feeds need to be bigger or longer. Secondly she may just have ppd or ppa or even simply sleep deprivation. She’s probably only getting sleep in two hour stretches. To do that for 5 months is exhausting and it will change her and her emotions
Take the kids and run. She’s going to cause developmental delays. If you don’t want to deal with your kids, don’t have them. You don’t get to just lock your kid in a room until lunch time because “it’s routine “. Why was that ever done in the first place to cause it to be a routine?
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Soooo, at 9am she could be fed downstairs but at 10am she can’t??? FLEXIBILITY is everything in relationships and raising kids!!!
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They are YOUR kids. If she has a problem with it… she can leave!! She has these “routines” because she doesn’t want to deal with the kids. That baby has the right to eat, sleep, play, etc. ANYWHERE she wants and needs to!!! It sounds like your partner is abusive to not only the kids, but you too! She needs to leave!!! Restricting children until at least 10:00 IS ABUSE!
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No partner needs to leave. This is a control issue. Your an adult. Act like one for yourself and for your children.
Your baby is almost 6 months old, you can’t keep them in the bedroom until 10am. I don’t understand how you would get in a routine of leaving them in the bedroom that late in the morning. Your baby will be all over the place soon. Neither of you can seriously believe that staying in this routine is healthy.
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Yall hating on won woman which why you never evolve maybe she going through something serious. You people so quick to judge over a onesided point of you
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That’s your baby as well and your partner isn’t allowed to tell you what you can and cannot do 
That’s controlling in my opinion
Simple: it reads control factor … can we say narcissist traits
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How sad 
some people are so cold … this makes my stomach turn I could never my home is not a prison my home is a safe place for my child to roam free and become they’re own little selfes in a safe place…
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Um that’s a bit late for baby to be getting up to come out of her room and join everyone. Your partner sounds like a jackass. I would be bringing it up to the pediatrician and letting the pediatrician tell her that it’s going to cause issues. If she still doesn’t listen, you need to just leave her ass for the sake of your kids.
It’s same sex couple. She says my partner
Is this your house as well?? Seriously??? These are children not pets! Partner needs to grow up and not be a spoiled brat acting like a 13 year old teenager having a tantrum. Running a child prison? Children are not meant to be confined because crybaby adult cant get her way. I can’t believe you would have allowed someone to treat your children and you this way to begin with smh.
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She has the same britches to get glad in. I would say now there is a new routine since the baby is older. Kids change daily!
When you’re the one doing the work YOU should get to decide when or where it’s done. When she does it she gets to do it like she wants.
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Your baby your house - his rules. Sounds like he is the problem - or “she” or whatever
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She’s a control freak imo. Those are your kids too and you can let your partner dictate whether someone can be downstairs before a certain time. Either stand up for yourself or I would tell your partner to please leave the house until they can get it thru head that their routine with an INFANT is outrageous and you won’t accept it no more
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10am is alil crazy in my opinion. I wish my kid would sleep in and be on a routine like that too but in my opinion earlier would be better for a routine . I gave a 6 month old and she’s up at 7/8am every day. Thats when she’s up then she takes an afternoon nap… it seems your partners way or no way. Id look up schedules for babies your age and go based off that
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Sounds like all this baby is allowed to do is feed and sleep…
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Sounds more like you have a fourth child than a partner
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Yea id walk past him at 630 am when the kids get up with my cup of coffee and tell him to go to the upstairs room for as long as he needs that man is nuts and so are you for listening to him lol do what ever helps your children and thats that
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That’s ridiculous, brake HER dumb rules and do whats right for the BABY.
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Tell your partner to stay up stairs til 10 am and stop treating those children like they’re in a prison! That’s just ridiculous…
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What a freaking asshole! That’s YOUR BABY! You feed, hold, spend time with your baby when ever you want to. That baby needs love and attention. Routine or not, 10 AM??? That’s crazy. And you have other children that want to play with her. You are the mother! Clearly you see that this isn’t normal and you are coming to us for advice. Get rid of your partner. Your kids come first!
Sorry this pissed me off
Routines are cool and all especially for bedtime and nighttime but that’s just extreme. Controlling.
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Feed wherever you want to and allow the others to play and bond. Babies can’t sick to a strict schedule, they need what they need when they need it, and need to be around others
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That’s not healthy for building relationships. Babies need their siblings. She is 5 months soon she should be eating with your other kids for breakfast. Like trying baby food and eggs.
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Maybe it’s not just routine but a fear or control issue she has. Regardless this is not normal. Does she show signs at all of ppd? Did she have control issues before? I have control issues partially due to fear from her birth. I am working on it but even losing sight of my kids sets off my anxiety. I suggest talking with her about what this does to everyone in the home. That this is not normal behavior.
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Allowed? WTF is this Allowed shit? You need to take care of the baby. So do it. She is your priority, not some pouting, temper-tantrum throwing so called adult. Take care of your business and let your partner move on if they don’t like it. They can set up any schedule they want in their own place.
It’s stupid tell your partner grow up or get out it’s not boot camp
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Routines change all the time as a baby gets older. You can not stick to the exact routine forever because it will change. Tell your partner to chill or they can do it all.
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What the actual fuc#? Please consult a lawyer and get the heck outta there. This is highly concerning.
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As someone who had a child with extreme reflux I say this, if the baby is doing well with this routine leave her to do this. Take the other two kids to play the baby cannot play yet. Sounds like you are trying to hard to integrate them. Reflux in babies is hard to deal with, when u find something that works don’t mess it up!
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Sounds like you need a new partner.
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Also too much stimulation for a reflux baby is bad so chill out on the playtime
Huh ? Why is your partner telling you what part of the house you’re restricted to, with who and at what times? That’s not a routine, that’s control.
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Baby should not be on strict schedule that is insane. Not allowed down before 10. She is being lazy doesn’t want to get out of bed. Baby should be up and playing. She needs control, get her help. I couldn’t live like that. My son had bad reflex. He slept on me sitting up on the couch. When your laying down the acid goes back up and settles in the throat. He was fed on demand except when he was on food.
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Does she have some postpartum problems?
What in the fuck, as a parent I don’t get how you could let anyone, even the other parent, tell you where you can bring your baby. You need to make that baby the priority not your selfish partners weird routines.
She’d just have to be in a foul mood and get over herself. Aren’t you grown? I respect my partner but my partner also respects our family. That’s not something I’d be on board with. You’re not gunna tell me and my kids when, what time and where we can go in OUR HOUSE. nope.
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Set rules for, tell her to stay in her room until 10:00
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So your opinion doesn’t matter?
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Honestly…
All these responses are gonna cause an argument.
Sit her down and genuinely ask her what’s bothering her, if she needs to see a doctor or therapist and if there’s anything you can do to help remedy her fears/concerns or whatever.
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She sounds lazy, controlling, an down right has some personal issues. Seriously, you can’t take the baby downstairs until after 10.
Tell her where to stick her routine …some routine are good and others are made to be adjusted …not allowed downstairs untill 10am or later is extremely controlling expecially if you "disobey’ she basically punishes you the rest of the day ""it’s your house too take control of your and your childrens life and stop being a prisoner
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This is NOT okay at all! I wouldn’t stand for it PERIOD.
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Show her these comments.
What In the what?! I’m sorry, but that’s not ok. No one, and I mean no one will tell me when and where I can feed or bring my baby in my own home.
Someone needs a wake up call.
You are a grown woman, don’t let another adult dictate your life. What a sick and controlling partner.
My confusion is WHY does it need to be in the bedroom/upstairs if the entire family is already awake… I understand if it’s 6am to not wake anyone but Jesus you can still keep a routine without having to stay in the bedroom
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Well, thats the darkest shit I’ve read all day, what’s wrong with people 
I think your partner may have issues
Wow. What the hell… this is scary…
As its your child too id tell her where she can shove her funk ass attitude and her strict shit… Id bring my child downstairs when i damn well feel like it… Having a schedule is important yes… But this is ridiculous… She needs to see a doctor for some ppd or somethin…
Nah nah nah. Listen…PLEASE LISTEN. PLEASE don’t make any hasty decisions. I am no doctor but this sounds like Post-partum depression, Post-partum Anxiety (and yes it is a real thing) or a mix of both. In my opinion, I wud say more PPA than anything. I had PPA. And I know it affects everyone differently but here is how I was with PPA. I was also hyper focused on routines. Everything had 2 b done at a certain time and a certain place. And if that routine would get 'messed up", I would have a panic attack and cry. I was so convinced that if I didn’t do it a certain way in a certain place, either something bad would happen 2 my child or that my kids wud b uncomfortable. It is important 2 note that anxiety does sometimes come out as anger, it is not always panic. Also, when i put my 1st born 2 bed at a few weeks old, (in her own bed, but located in my room, I wud wake up screaming and crying cuz I thot my kid was dead (I had high anxiety about SIDS) I wasn’t sleeping, I was a wreck. But here’s my point, please don’t go in confrontational. She just had her baby not long ago. Doesnt matter if its the 1st or thr 6th kid. These disorders can still affect the mother. I could b completely wrong. But this is what it sounds like 2 me. I would encourage her 2 get some Post-partum counseling if this continues. She may feel like she id doing what she needs 2 do, 2 take care of the baby but it is still affecting the rest of the family. And her also. Just try 2 talk 2 her calmly and see if u can come 2 a resolution together. If not, suggest therapy. I am not trying 2 start a fight, however I am very disturbed by these comments basically saying “u need a new partner”. People these days just give up when even the tiniest amount of effort is involved. I am also disgusted that I have only seen 1 other comment about ppd. People don’t like 2 talk bout it. Ik its not pleasant but 4 gods sake, talking about it literally saves lives. Do not give up on her. B there 4 her. And support her.
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Why seclude the baby? Who gave birth to the baby? Is it post ppd? I’m having a hard time understanding.
I didn’t set a schedule with my son. He ate when he was hungry, slept when he was tired, and I just have a hard time understanding why so much control over a baby and where or how they eat.
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It sounds like lack of sleep, or PPD is altering her judgement. This is late for a baby to start their day. I’d try to have a serious conversation with her and sit her down to get to the root of the extreme routine and mood swings if it’s altered. That’s not normal behavior, and you shouldn’t be treated that way. Be firm in your needs and boundaries, but also supportive of her seeking help.
Ummm…… that’s not okay. Maybe your partner should stay upstairs until 10, see how she likes it.
Oh heck no that would not stand with me and my partner telling what part of the house to be feeding my babies at 5 months old sorry but not sorry that’s not a healthy relationship and that’s down right controlling
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I would suggest speaking with your partner and explaining it is both of your child not just hers. Say you appreciate that she is trying to be a good mom, but you feel that the overly strict schedule is not the best thing for LO and the rest of the family. Tell her she is doing an amazing job and you appreciate her! If she feels more comfortable with consulting the pediatrician first then offer that. I assume LO will be going in for a 6 month checkup soon.
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