For what it’s worth, you’re showing your children how they should treat people, and how they should allow others to treat them as well. Give them an example that promotes their future self-worth, along with your own.
As a woman who was in an 8 year relationship with a man of this kind I beg of you to GET OUT! It never stops it’s an addiction, i made myself believe over and over that I could change him… I never did. He ended up cheating several times. You deserve better. Where there is smoke there is fire … sorry
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Number 1 he is a liar number 2 you can’t trust him because he is a liar number 3 it shows little respect for you as his partner and mother of his children because he lies number 4 what you choose to do about is up to you … but understand from his point of view you basically give him permission because you don’t really do anything about it
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Walk away…don’t look back. I know it’s easier said than done but you deserve someone who will treat you with respect.
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You can stay broken up, you just don’t want to. At some point you have to realize that you deserve better than this, and you have to believe it so much that you don’t settle for being treated this way. No matter what you do it’s going to hurt, but the only way to make it stop hurting is to leave and not go back. Sorry to be so blunt, but it’s pretty simple. Either stay and keep hurting, or leave for good and the pain will go away in time.
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Girl put your big girl pants on and stand up for yourself but more importantly your children. That is disrespectful and doing absolutely nothing but creating a toxic environment for your children. If you dont do it for anyone but your children, leave him for good. He has proven he is not worth your time. Life is too short, you deserve better
He isn’t trying to stay with you. Thats obvious by what he’s doing. Id def stop having kids w him…i hope he has a good job to support the 3 you got. Id jump on that dating site and find ya someone better , tell him to get out and pay up.
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I’ve dealt with this too. It took a lot to finally let him go. After being separated for two years we are back together and doing good but I remind him he is wanted and not needed. He knows if he disrespects me again, he will be out for good.
Why are you asking us for the advice that you already know the answer to? This man is not ready to be the man you need…the man you want in your life. If he is still looking while he has you, let him go and let him be single to look for someone else. If hes looking, hes cheating. Plain and simple. The best way to stop being in a toxic relationship is to get out of it and work on your issues that keep sending you back to these kinds of people.
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Go open a child support case. Three kids will cost him 50% of his gross income.
If he cares for you at all that will wake him up, if he doesn’t right this ship, he never will, and you just have to move on.
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This is an incredibly difficult situation. Clearly your partner has issues, probably deeply insecure about himself. If he would agree to therapy and would actually want to change, that’s a different situation. But it sounds like he doesn’t. Your children will be happier with their mother happy and single, rather than with their father and hurt. You have to do what’s best for you and your children if you truly believe he doesn’t want to change.
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Just break up with him,i mean you are mother of his two kids and pregnant with third, and he still is on dating app? Moreover he hasn’t even married you? It’s upto you if you wish to continue living this painful miserable life with him or just get out of this relationship with your kids… You can Co-parent them…Just because you have kids with him doesn’t mean you can’t start afresh and doesn’t mean he treats you like this and takes you for granted… He clearly doesn’t respect nor loves you. Rest is you to decide
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I think you should join a website too. He needs to know how it feels and if he doesn’t care then I’m sure you will meet someone who does. Bet you get asked on a real date before he does.
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Your Partner? What part of his behavior says partner to you? This is not a partner. You are certainly not his or he’d stop shopping. Move on.
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Run! Fast! I was married for 25 years thinking he’d change. Counselors all that stuff. Finally I knew the damage to myself and our kids was not going to change. Your kids are watching…show them the way they should be treated. Six years later I married a man who has character, treats me with respect as I treat him and have never been happier. My adult sons love him too. Blessings and hugs. 
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You know what to do but afraid to do it. Remember you are worth it and you deserve better. Yes it’ll hurt you when you leave him but does it hurt now that youre staying with him? You are awesome and deserve to be loved truly. Remember the hurt will pass and it will only be for awhile.
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He will probably never take your ultimatums seriously ever again. He will just keep doing what he wants. You have to act according to what you’re willing to go through.
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For 1 you’re allowing it when u stay…he thinks oh she stays & disrespects u even more cause u allow it…love yourself enough to leave…he don’t care about you at all why would you want to stay with someone who could care less
What did it for me was the example I was setting to my child. Would you want that kind of relationship for them? They accept what you show them is okay.
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Leave him .He doesn’t love you.move on with your kids.why did you get pregnant from him again.good luck and bless you!
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Dump him and move on. Your kids need a better example of a healthy relationship. Nothing good comes from a toxic situation.
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Simple LEAVE, get counseling, its free in most towns, cities. Start the child support paperwork. Get a job, new place to live. Get the kids in daycare, school program. Go to CHURCH. Don’t even mention I can’t do all this. As the CHURCH family will become your new family
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Time to let him go, he is not interested in commitment with you, or maybe anyone… move on with your life on your own. You will heal. And find a real man.
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That’s a hard pass. No thank you. He doesn’t respect you or value you the way you deserve. I would sit him down and let him know that this is the last straw and his FINAL opportunity to get it together. If he can’t do it now, girl, he isn’t going to change. You just have to decide how much of your life you want to waste.
He’s never going to stop. It will always be a fight. You will be raising your children in an extremely toxic environment. Just leave. Be stronger. Be a good example for what you will allow your children to deal with if their own lives.
You people know it’s different for everyone right. You all say leave well you know what it’s not that easy if you’ve always been a house wife and have no job skills, no apartment, no family that can help, no money, no resources. Women who have the money to leave then that’s great. Most the time housewives have no money of their own. Where are they supposed to go?
Focus and fix on why you’re staying instead of why he’s cheating. That’s who he is. Who are you and who do you want your kids to look up to as they grow up? Every day you’re teaching them of what they should do to a partner or what they should put up with
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Learn to love and respect yourself enough to only allow people in your life that raise you up not let you down!
You don’t deserve to be treated like this. Your kids don’t deserve to grow up in a home full of chaos. Leave him and learn to stand on your own. Value yourself and you won’t let anyone treat you like this again.
What you need to ask yourself why are you still with him. You will never break the toxic cycle if you dont care about yourself. So until you wake up and feel good about yourself then no one can give you advice that you will listen too
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Been there did that for 16 years hun. We have 3 daughters n he still kept cheating n lying. If the relationship is already toxic get out now. Ur babies don’t need to see u being disrespected trust me I’m dealing with teens that don’t give a rat’s about nothing n I have no authority in my own home after bowing down to that man lies for so long n letting my kids watch. U deserve better stop being his convenience
I got on every site he was on to show him if he can do it so can I! Soo… when I actually went on a date with a doctor and he only had skanks hittin him up he changed his way of thinkin a lil
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Sounds like he is keeping his options open. I would leave and never go back. But its easier said then done.
Just up and leave…go back home where you have love from your mom and dad…I am sure they will help you.
You deserve better and so do your children. I know this is very difficult and I am not judging at all!! It is very difficult to leave someone you are invested in and have children with. I went through something similar…i felt so conflicted. I felt like my children deserved both parents…they do deserve both parents however they don’t have to be together, they should be happy. You deserve to be treated with respect and this isn’t respect. He wouldn’t be doing this if he respected you. The sooner you leave the less damage to you and your children.
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You are literally showing him how to treat you. You are allowing it, thus he continues to do it. It is called codependency as in you feel like you need him. My advice is to read up on codependent behaviors and work on yourself and what you deserve and the rest will follow. You wont ever get better staying and doing what you are now. Trust me. I was codependent at one point and am now happily married 3 years with 8 ys relationship. I left my old one on the dust
What does your price tag say?? Are you on sale, reduced price or are worth something?? You have got to love yourself enough to say enough is enough and see your value or else no man won’t. Men will treat you how you treat yourself
I hate to say it…but some people (guys or girls) just aren’t meant to be in a monogamous relationship. It’s not your fault…and it’s not really his fault either. Now the fact that he says he’s going to stop and then doesn’t is just a lie and that’s the truly tragic part here. He should just leave you alone because you obviously want monogamy and he doesn’t. It’s just who he is but he should not lie about it.
Hes not going to stop because your not doing anything other than asking him to delete them. You know you deserve better and your kids deserve seeing you be strong on your own or even in a better relationship later on… it sucks but sometimes you have to break your own heart and leave to find a better life
Time to move on he obviously doesn’t respect you, your relationship or the family unit. Good luck momma
Honestly hes not good enough for you or those babies even if it was my son I would say the same you and babies deserve better you can be happy I’m just gonna tell ya you need to leave or make him leave even better
So first of all you are not at fault… Yes he sees that you haven’t done anything so far and you won’t do anything. So he continues to hurt you, your trust and your kids. People can say lots of things like “just leave him.” “ you don’t want your kids in this toxic relationship and have them believing it’s okay.” and so on… Yes these comments are true but you my dear will know when you’ve had enough of this BS. It sounds like you have expressed to him how it makes you feel and he continues, because he’s an addict. No one can change a person. The only person that can change is the person themself. If they don’t see a problem, they won’t change. It’s a lot easy for us readers to say what you should do. But only you know and will know when you’ve had enough.
Leave but be smart start looking in your area for programs to help women get on their feet. Get on food stamps and wic. Apply for section 8 have that all in place before you leave. I would start getting it all together tomorrow. You can apply for wic and medicade for you and the kids. Just get your ducks in a row. Don’t leave one bad relationship to be in a worse situation. If you have family and or friends to stay with than go there and get this all together.
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U can’t seem to stay broken up, really? And u got pregnant by him not once, not twice but THREE times? U need to get off Facebook and go see a therapist who can help u understand why u r torturing urself this way and come up with real solutions for how to better care for yourself. If u won’t do it for u do it for ur kids. How would u feel having to watch them do what ur doing? Bc u r teaching them that ur current situation is perfectly acceptable and they will easily grow up thinking it is.
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Leave him and you will have freedom from stress and lies!! I would have been gone second time! Good luck to you! Hit the road!
Leave. Instead of thinking of others who doesn’t respect you, please love yourself and think of yourself and your kids. He’s not scared of losing you because he knows you are going to stay.
Time to exit and not look back. Co parent and let that be someone elses problem. You cannot make him be faithful or want only you. And he obviously wants to play the field and not be faithful… Sorry but that IS the truth. Stop waiting for him to deckde and make up his mind gitl… Its your life too. Go take child support out… Have them take out of check and make a visitation schedule and parent them kids while they’re with you… And leave that little boy alone.
Really??? What wrong with you? It’s hard but get out. You and kids deserve more
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Giving him a chance at first is okay but forgiving him over and over again makes him respect you less coz he thinks that you will always believe what he says and you will forgive him no matter what. It’s time to let him go… and always know that he’s the problem not you.
We women don’t relize our own power.hes doing what he’s doing because you let him.hes a man.but its not his fault.honey its yours.he knows how it makes you feel and he doesn’t care because he knows you are not going anywhere
I guess it doesn’t matter since you can’t stay away from him.
Sounds like a bad situation children shouldn’t have been brought into. You knew this was happening. You allowed it to get this far by not leaving. Now he knows he can walk all over you and you won’t do anything.
Leave and than get on the same dating sites he gets on and make sure to let everyone know what kind of guy he is.
At this point you either make peace with the fact he will not change or pack your things and go.
I’ve been in a relationship for 17 years to a dating sight and porn addict even though I’ve tild him how much it bothers me and is disrespectful…he says he doesnt do it…but hes never stopped and confessed he never will…i take some solace in the fact that most dating sites are robots talking to him and are only trying to get money…but his new thing…at 56…is meth addiction…we have a 15 yr old son…this has sent me over the edge and I’m done…
Everyone is guilty of staying too long. But if he keeps cheating he doesn’t respect you. Or himself. You can’t change a man who doesn’t want to change. No matter what you do. If he’s set on being a cheater he will keep doing it. No matter how good you are. No matter if you have kids together. No matter how much you love him it won’t work because he doesn’t even love himself. So he’s in no position to love anyone else
You just have to leave and everytime you think of going back think about the pain he always causes you. I was in an abusive marriage for ten years. I kept going back thinking he had changed. He never did though and I finally left last September and immediately filed for divorce. Pur divorce was finalized in may. I have my own home with both my daughters. We are alot happier and finally feel free. This may not be physical abuse but it is 100 percent mental and emotional abuse. Think of this way do you want your kids growing up watching this toxic cycle? Your strong enough to leave you just have to break that bond.
Sounds like you have all the relevant information.
1: He’s on dating sites- he’s looking elsewhere.
2: He keeps saying he’ll stop but he doesn’t- he never will.
End it and stop going back.
So then leave! Stop threatening him and not pulling through! Why should he stop if you stay and forgive? You and your kids deserve better. Make a plan. Get yourself the support you need to get on your feet without him.
Please leave. He won’t change and it’s not healthy for you or your children .
From my own experience an having a kid. Look at this way an its hard with pregnancy hormones i know but is the relationship you have with him the type you want your kids to say yeah thats an okay relationship. If have boy you want him to feel its exceptiable to basically cheat while in a relationship or with a girl you want her to say okay like you are. Yes its hard to walk away but once you do you will find lot of clarity from it. I did when I finally look like i said about my own kid and it was hard i want to go back but then realized I dont want my kid to just settle because I showed her its okay to.
Time to get yourself on all the dating sights and find yourself a new man…
If he’s never attempted to stop dating I guess I don’t understand why you’re still with him?
Leave him because if he wanted to change or treat you better he would have!!!
Walk away and don’t look back! You and your kids deserve a real man!!
How many times have the police been to your home? If you answer more than one you need help.
And yet you are still bringing innocent children into your obviously unstable relationship? Grow up…
Took me 42 years to be taken seriously. I got out and so should you.
He’s not your “partner” if he’s on dating sites. Dump him and get on there yourself!
He is never going to stop pack up those babies and leave.
The only answer is to leave and stay gone. What kind of example does that set for your kids?
Dump him. He’s cheating on you. Fight for custody of the kids, and only talk to him through a lawyer. Feelings are like a switch. You need to switch your feelings for him off because it will cloud your judgement. Kids shouldn’t be brought up around cheaters.
Get out. He isnt going to change. He obviously doesnt fear losing you.
He has made his choice you need to take your kids and run
Get some counselling for your co-dependence. He treats you like that, because there is no lasting consequences.
Youre in a relationship with a narcissist. Its the worst ive even experienced.
Men wont change so you either leave or if uou cant or dont want yo leave uou find a way to live WITH
LEAVE!!! He’s only continuing this because you’re allowing him to!!!
He’s not going to stop. You need to put you and your kids first and leave.
He cheated on me in 1984 with…
- Esther
- Michelle
- Lynn
- Therese
- Tammy
(And those are the ones I found out about).
We had a child. He asked my new husband to adopt because he didn’t want to pay child support.
My son looked him up when he was 18. Life has not been kind. He looks like he’s 70 years old and he’s STILL cheating.
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He isnt your partner in anything if he betrays you like that. Empower yourself and walk away.
They dont stop i left mine over it and he still gets on …leave him
Grow a pair and let him go. Know your worth. He doesn’t.
You’re going to have to move on. The sites are all you know of, so far.
First, stop having kid’s with him!!
Red flags… they NEVER change…
Get rid of him. He will never change. They never do and they lie and rules don’t apply to them. Narcissistic behavior
Obviously actions speak louder than words. If he really does care enough about you and your relationship, especially now after having 3 children together, then he will get off dating sites he has absoluty NO business being on, ot it is time to show him and leave. Easier said than done, but better than having 3 children growing up in a household where the father does not respect the mother.
Have you tried counseling?
Get rid of him! Hes going to keep doing it. You deserve better
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Leave and GET YOURSELF SOME COUNSELING !!!
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Learn to be by yourself and love your self you are settling and you know it
Listen to what you have asked, he’s not worth it, drop him and find a decent bloke.
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You’ve given yourself the answer already.
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If you do what you have always done,…YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS GOT…its not going to change …LEAVE HIM !
Please do it I did it’s the only way to happiness
Hes going to keep doing it. Leave. Get counseling and go live your best life with your kids.
Time to move on! He’s never going to respect your relationship.
Leave! You deserve better & why subject yourself to such disrespect?!
Read Codependent No More.
It’ll change your life.