I have cancer, was getting really sick with chemo, no one took care of me and I even caregive, still had to work. you have easy. thank your lucky stars
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The husbands that can take time off on a dime out of nowhere. Thats not really common.
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One question 
why are you with him?
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I was sick with a 100.4*F temperature with vomiting back in the beginning of November. My boyfriend was at work and couldn’t come home. I also had a 5 year old to take care of and I didn’t complain. You’re a grown adult. You don’t need your husband there to baby you.
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Idk I would beg my SO to stay away from home if I was sick. He’s our sole source of weekly income as I only get a monthly check being on disability. I wouldn’t want to risk him getting sick. So if the little ones or myself get sick I am the caretaker. I don’t think that makes either of us selfish. It’s just us doing what we have to afford to survive. Yes it sucks to not be taken care of while sick but I haven’t been taken care of when sick since I was a kid and had my mom still.
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If my baby daddy lived with me he would work 6-2 while I work 2-10 than 10-6 is ours
l get paid over $167 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18410 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
M0re Info. https://amazingincome891.pages.dev/
You are a grown ass woman nobody takes care of mama but mama always takes care of everybody. You’re thinking that if he took those two days early to come home to baby you, that you wouldn’t miss that money but what happens when he gets sick? What if he doesn’t get over it as fast? Then your out 5 days, 10 days, more? You have no income so now what?
Let that man work in peace.
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I’m sorry that you’re not getting the support you deserve.
From personal experience, my (ex) husband felt his sick time was for HIM only, whereas my sick time was for the kids and I. There was an instance where he and I both had the flu, but of course he was dying and I was expected to power through so I could take care of the kids.
When I had a horrible flu while pregnant with our youngest, he refused to leave work. I had to have someone come get our 4 yr old and I drove myself to the hospital for fluids.
I drove myself home from the hospital after giving birth to our 2nd child. He wanted the overtime pay.
(I worked full-time too)
Some people aren’t partners, just spouses. You need to have a talk with him and give him the opportunity to explain himself, and you need to explain why you feel hurt.
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I can’t believe all the (my story is worse then yours but I still did it all myself comments) this isn’t a competition on who has been more sick but still took care of kids work etc. This Lady was feeling frustrated by the lack of support she had from her other half in a time she needed. Have we all not felt frustrated/upset/annoyed/ needed someone to vent to about our spouses? Sometimes I think we need to step back and have a little compassion for others lift them up, not tear them down
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I’d prefer, if my husband was someone who works like yours does, to stay away just so we don’t pass the cold bug back and forth to each other. I do summer babysitting. I would just personally use a mask or scarf to lightly cover my nose and mouth when getting very close to kids along with taking medicine. What would you do in this exact situation if you were a single mom? You’d find a way to make it work.
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All I see here is a pissing contest with other women- and its pretty disgusting to see.
A lot of women have to be and do it all.
Just be glad he works.
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I’ll be honest. You need to sit him down and have a real conversation about how you feel. Thus arrangement is over. You need to find work and he needs a job closer to home so he can help raise and care for his kids and house more. You are burnt out. Either that, or start calling family and friends to help more and don’t feel bad for it.
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You should get down on your knees and thank God; that you are blessed with such a caring man. He supports you and your needs. What more can you need.
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I don’t take off when my hubby is sick and he doesn’t take off when I am sick. Oh and we keep the kids home with us if one of us is home sick.
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Uhm. That’s what moms do?
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I have 5 kids age range for 21 to 1 my husband has never had to take off of work in 21 years unless I had to take one of the kids to the hospital. But if it was just me being sick and not going to the hospital he stayed at work. No since in him getting sick too.
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Um 2 weeks ago I had a high fever, our 3yo was just getting over one, and my bf 6mo and i both had an allergic reaction to my flu meds… My husband had to go to work. You’ll be fine.
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I understand how you are feeling BUT do keep in mind just because he’s got a good paying job don’t mean his managers going to just let him go 2 days earlier. That might be putting him in a tough spot especially if he has to work away you can’t just up and leave it sucks but it’s true and I am sorry momma. Maybe a relative close by can come help out for a bit
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I feel there is more to this.
It’s not the fact he didn’t come home it’s the lack of compassion and empathy for how she feels. She sounds burnt out and in need of a much needed break.
I hope you feel better soon mumma.
Please try to take some you time.
You deserve a break you deserve to be heard. You deserve to rest when you’re sick too. Not everyone has support and nobody knows what else is going on in your life and head anyway. Please make sure when his home you take some time for yourself.
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Woah…nah bruh…full stop with that noise. All of you going at her with “you’re a mom and that’s just how it is” “you stay at home and he is the bread winner so suck it up” “I have to work sick and take care of my kids sick” “suck it up and grow up”. NOOOOOO. This is that twisted and toxic colonizer BS that far too many people need to unlearn. Being a mother does not mean you are automatically required to run yourself into the ground through sickness and/or injury while everyone else gets to recuperate and TAKE CARE OF THEIR HEALTH AND WELLBIENG IN A PROPER MANNER ANY HEALTHCARE PROFESSIINAL WOULD HAVE AT THE TOP OF THEIR LIST ON A CARE SHEET TO GET WELL. The amount of generational brainwashing based on antiquated classist and misogynistic and slave based ideals in this time and age is astounding. Who said women are supposed to neglect themselves? Our moms, their moms, their moms, and their moms along with so many others in society for generations as well.? Who told them for far too many generations, dating as far back as can be traced in patriarchal based societies? Rich men in power. Then it trickled down to the men they had power over, who were given power due to being born male, to have power over those they could consider as beneath them…women. This is that mess we as a society need to get rid of. We not only allow this from partners, but our jobs too. And being a stay at home mom IS indeed a full time job. For a while when I was single I had two full time jobs. The one that hands me a paycheck and being a mom with her own household. Now, thanks to my awesome man, I have a full time job that pays the bills and I have help with everything else outside of that job. It gives us more time to focus on building his business he is starting and to focus on the one I’ve started. So we are essentially starting two businesses so we can quit our other jobs and we still have time for family time including little weekend get aways either just us our all of us as a family as we both have kids with exs. One of us gets sick, the other one jumps in to take extra duties while the sick one rests and takes care of themselves. We can’t afford for one of us to get worse or have our sickness prolonged due to not taking proper care of ourselves. Most importantly we love each other enough we don’t want one another to suffer not being well. He has taken days off or time off without me asking because he knew I needed to rest. My 8 YEAR OLD understands this and I never taught him. He began doing it on his own. I get sick and he will tell me has has his waters and snacks, he is just going to chill out with a movie…mom…why don’t you lay down. You don’t feel good and should take care of yourself. If I need anything I will let you know. I’ll lay down on the couch and we will snuggle up with a movie going. I’ll wake up to find he has wiped counters. Emptied out small trash cans. Put dishes away and/or put them in the dishwasher…just little things an 8 year old can do. I’ll thank him and tell him he didn’t have to and he ALWAYS says, but mom…you always take care of things and us, but your sick. So we need to help and take care of you. You need to get better so you don’t get worse. An 8 year old gets it. This is one of the many reasons we are starting our own businesses. Because these companies treat us like we are not worthy of taking care of our own basic needs, much less take care of ourselves when we are bot well. Most of society works far below living wages and work at poverty level. Most companies overwork and severely understaff their employees and have policies in place along with threats of losing your job that keep people from being able to properly take care of themselves and home when it’s needed. They don’t care if you don’t get better. They don’t care if you die. Actually I had one work friend who was still brainwashed with this nonsense who died of covid while at work in her office. Leaving behind a 4 year old daughter with no mom. They sent an email out with a slide show to honor her and replaced her in no time. My best friend had to leave work early because she was brainwashed still with that nonsense to get picked up by an ambulance. She called me and told me it was covid. She felt they didn’t catch it in time for medicine to help. She called to tell me oodbye because she knew she was going to die. She died 2 weeks before Christmas. Her 6 boys had to wake up on Christmas without their mom to open presents up with. She never got to hold her newborn first grandson. They sent an email with a slide show of pictures they had me provide them and did a short zoom meeting as a memorial. They didn’t replace her…they just left us shorter staffed and told us we can handle the extra work load. COMPANIES DO NOT CARE AND PERPETUATE THIS MINDSET KEEPING US ALL ENSLAVED AND OVERWORKED, AND UNDERPAYED BECAUSE IT MAKES THEM MORE MONEY THAN HUMANLY POSSIBLE TO SPEND IN A COUPLE OF LIFETIMES. Then it trickles down to home life. It’s not right for men of the working class, women of the working class and it’s even worse for POC. POC women have it even worse than any others when it comes to this problem. Not only do we continue to allow this, but we help those who benefit the most from this mindset by perpetuating this as well. All the attacks on this woman is a prime example. The oppressors don’t even have to work too hard at it because they have so many still so brainwashed that we do it to one another!!!
To the op, yeah you should be upset. You are a human being that has a full time job and you are sick and need help. You should be able to rely on your PARTNER to be able to help when needed. Though, take into account what I said above. He is still probably stuck in that mindset and if his company has certain policies in place that perpetuate this problem we have in society…he may not be in a good place to do so on different levels. It’s hard to step out of that mindset and see the bs for what it really is. Many don’t want to. I’ll even go so far as to call it a trauma response. It’s not comfortable to go against what you have been brainwashed as just how it is when it’s oppressive and yeah…abusive. especially with the THREATS to loss of money and resources to provide you and your family with every day BASIC NECESSITIES. See…abusive. I wouldn’t so much be mad at him completely. Maybe frustrated that is still stuck…but rather lay my anger where it is more deserved. Try to rest and take care of yourself the best you can. 
That’s what moms do. Never once would I expect my husband to come home early when he was able to work. Be grateful he works.
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When I was with my ex-husband I had to take care of him the kids and myself when I was sick now I met my boyfriend and he’s quick to come home if I’m sick or if I need anything jump and go
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I don’t ever have anyone to help me, I’m a single parent and I work and I have no family to help, sometimes you just have to suck it up
Are you kidding me? I remember a day when i had a stomach virus. I was sitting on th pot nursing the baby. My 5 yr old practicing reading a story and tying tie the 3 yr old shoes. Your pain, frustration will become a memory before you know it. You dont need no stinking man. We are warriors and its ours to do.
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I know it sucks! It will pass. I’m sure he didn’t mean to make you feel like he didn’t care it’s so hard to get off of work sometimes and bosses make you feel crappy for it often times. Just take it easy order in food let the kids watch tv and get your strength back. It will be ok.
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I can’t believe you people! I feel sorry for you if you wouldn’t DARE to Ask your partner for help. My ex would take off when I was sick! I take care of our 5 children 75% off the time. Girl you should be upset your hubby wouldn’t come home. Smh
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Talk to him and tell him how it made you feel. See if he is willing to find a job closer to home and you get a job also and work around each other’s schedule so that way you both help out with the kids and it doesn’t all fall on you. I hope you’re feeling better though
l get paid over $167 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18410 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
M0re Info. https://amazingincome906.pages.dev/
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Welcome to motherhood. You don’t get help like dads do
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Try being a single parent to a preschooler and having surgery and coming home to take care of the child and yourself with nobody to help.
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If he is working and you werent critically ill needing to go to the hospital you did not really need him with you. Big girls know when they are sick( not feeling good, throwing up, slight fever, etc) vs hospital sick. Difference is when sick pull your big girl panties on, take a couple of tylenol, drink liquids and only do what needs to be done. Hospital sick call 911 and then husband to come home. Its called being an adult.
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I read some of the comments you ladies have said and yes myself I am a husband and my wife is a stay-at-home and she took care of the kids even when she was sick and there are plenty of times and I was at work and I had to be there and I know she was home sick and yes it’s hard on us too to think about that but we do we must do to take care of the family and even though we know our loved one is home sick taking care of the house you still make that sacrifice to go and do what we have to do thank you ladies for taking care of your family
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I can understand where you wanted him home however if the family was there for you to ask, you def should’ve reached out to them. I’m sure it’s not easy for your husband to just hop on a flight home. Hopefully you’re feeling better!
This sucks and all. But I was a single mom raising my babies, when I was sick i still got up and had to be a mom… I remember not even being able to walk and stuff… but I still managed just to do it alone. Maybe cuz I never had anyone to depend on… but, I just got up and did it… sick, broke, exhausted… us mothers are tough AF! 
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Is this real? My husband worked away and we just moved my boys both under 4 and I got mono from the stress of moving etc
Never did I think my husband should come home and help, they can’t leave a job everytime you throw up, it’s called a job and being responsible. My husband would lose his job and our income as I was a stay at home mom. I put on movies, my kids played and we are popsicles lol
I fed them etc it was tough to get up but we made it. You have to be a single mom while he’s working and do what you can, I did for years and even when my husband worked in our home town eventually he never stayed home when I was sick. Kids loved it as we watched movies which was a treat and toys were in the living room, we camped out for a couple days lol
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Don’t you want to be a dad sometimes instead 
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If you didn’t need the money, and he could’ve taken off easily. Then yes, be upset. Obviously you felt really bad and feel angry about it. It leads to resentment. Sit him down and discuss it. Let him know where you’re at. Unlike all the other women here, I won’t be the one to say suck it up. Men get coddled over a cold and yet can’t help with the kids or care for their women. Men can and will, when they want to. Sounds like some shit ass partners to me and they accept it.
I’m sorry it’s definitely rough being a mom
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Yep. These are things they don’t tell you when you become a mom. It’s just how it goes 
you’re stronger than you seem
Partners aren’t obligated to anything. Stop putting PARTNERS and HUSBANDS/WIVES in the same category.
With that being said, a Husband’s number 1 obligation is PROVIDING for his family; which he was doing. A man’s purpose has never been a caregiver not to say that men cannot provide care; but we are not naturally wired that way. Stop expecting men to think and act in the same nature that woman do and you will not keep being disappointed from your unrealistic views.
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Mamas need times. Period…
I’ve been in your shoes. When you only have your partner and you have EXPECTATIONS (don’t rip the head off) we’ve all been there… Yes you need REST AND SUPPORT.
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Your a grown up u don’t need someone to hold ur hand while being sick I would never ask hubby unless it was something serious to come home ur the one staying home while he’s making the bread n butter suck it up attend to ur sickness as it’s only vomiting
Welcome to motherhood
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Single moms do it constantly I did it every time I was sick
Now that I’m with someone who works a physically demanding job just so he can pay the bills while I stay home I’m grateful that someone actually is still providing for our family while I’m sick at home
Be grateful you’re not doing it all on your own
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Girl, my ex would leave me to take care of our three kids sick, along with them sick as well. If I called him because I was sick, he would come home and go to bed.
I just wanna say, in this economy, I’m still working when I have body pains and migraines cause I wanna save my STO for something more severe, and I also don’t want to take the time off. I understand wanting someone to take care of you, but a days worth of work to some can mean the difference of barely staying ahead vs getting behind in just the basic bills.
It’s a mom’s life. I wish I had my husband’s help sometimes when I’m sick and he is at work…but that’s just not feasible on one income.
That’s why we are the superior, in reality we can and do handle more emotionally and mentally than the man…not an opinion just a fact.
As a mom and wife. It’s is hard but we are strong that’s why we do it all. I been so sick that it felt like I was dying. But I still manger to take care of all 4 boys plus cook clean and all. My husband and oldest son calls me wonder woman because I still do everything like I’m not sick. Even when I was working i still helped it a matter if yall. Could afford him to miss or not as well.
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How sad that so many comments are full of no empathy.
When I am sick, my husband will go to work, but he is calling and texting constantly to check up on me. He makes arrangements for someone to make sure I’m not just laying in bed suffering and makes arrangements for the kids to be taken care of.
I guess he knows how important it is to take good care of me, his wife. Since the last time I got sick, it caused me to go into early labor and get abused and neglected by the nurses and Dr, which then cost us both the life of our youngest son.
Yes, his job is to provide… part of that means to provide care as well.
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You said you have family that can help but didnt want to bother them but were ok doing that to your husband that you said works far. Why??? If i had family near theyd be the first to ask. Honestly, maybe the logistics of it made it too hard. Ex. If he works in the oil riggs they cant just miss when theyre on site. Does he drive or fly to work, its not as easy as if youre just 30 minutes away. You said hed be back in 2 days, once hes home, rest.
Geees some of these comments are really harsh, insensitive, I’m actually a little triggered. You are making this woman feel like her health doesn’t matter. When some people get sick, it really does kick their butts. Some people have really low immune systems. It’s really hard to function let alone continue to take care of kids when you’re really sick. What if she was running a high grade fever? Those can be very dangerous. Ugh, I know under most circumstances you still have to make a go at it sick or not. If you are really bad off health wise talk to your husband/boyfriend and talk to your family. Be straightforward with them. Good luck!
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I have been through all this but I got through it and you will too. We are tougher sick or well, but yes we do need help sometimes. I’ve been through this same mess. Prayers
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When life is tough.
Get tougher.
Hard times are the reality we are living in.
When he sick tell him he will be ok and care for himself
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Definitely in the single mom club here. But I can’t relate to wanting someone else to take care of me. I’ve had to take care of my toddler with no help with a freshly amputated hand after a car accident. The only person I can depend on is myself.
You hate asking family but want him to leave & travel for vomitting?
If you were hospitalized, I’d get it.
Sometimes we have to suck it up.
That said, you should talk to him. Tell him how you feel. But understand, it’s not feasible for him to just leave.
I get you were feeling awful but that’s adulthood. Put your big girl panties on and get over it because that’s not something you should be upset w your husband about. He works his ass off so you can be home with the kids so being upset with him for not rushing home every time you get a stomach bug is pretty crappy of you.
Put on cartoons, whine, cry, feed the kids TV dinners for 3 days, whatever it takes to get by til you feel better but don’t take it out on him.
Not to sound harsh, but his sick time is for when he gets sick. He has someone to care for him, because you’re there. If you were working as well, he’d have to be home alone as well.
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Sounds like he was working out of town. It’s hard when Moms get sick when Dads are out of town for work. They can’t just come back home when we want. There are other things to take into consideration like transportation or flights if he flew out. Can’t leave the other guys stranded if there is only one vehicle if they drove. My husband did the out of town thing for 6 years.
I have took care of my kids with the flu and Covid and after surgery, and I did it all while my husband was at work.
Two comments…
you said he works away. How far? Many viruses (especially gastrointestinal) run their course in 24 hrs. So if he was 6-8 hrs away you would most likely have been on the mend by the time he got home. He would lose out on those days of pay and placing unnecessarily.
You commented “unless I get family to help and it makes me feel bad to ask them”. Why do you feel bad? Do they not live local? If they do you are blessed to have them nearby. Most families are more than happy to spend time and help out with grandkids, nieces, nephews etc so they probably wouldn’t have minded at all. Or did you not want to feel like you were burdening them with doing your work? If so that’s probable how your husband felt as well.
You need to come up with a backup plan for childcare. This will not be the last time you get sick or need to go to the dr and not want to drag kids with you (think your teeth cleaning or annual gyno appointment) or just want to go to a store alone for an hour or so.
Find a family member or friend or drop in care center that you can leave them with and arrange it ahead of time. That way you know that they have already agreed to do “emergency” (last minute or no notice care) so you won’t feel bad. Military families, and single moms do it all the time. And that is essentially what you are (your husband is “deployed” to an away job site) leaving you alone.
You have a right to feel that way. Just because other people did it themselves, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t depend on your husband. I was a single mom the majority of my life but when I got married, my husband would stay home when I was just too sick. You should be able to depend on your husband and shouldn’t have to depend on other family members all of the time. That’s not what being married is about. If you other women have to depend on everyone else but your husband, why did you get married?
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This group is full of hurtful hateful people. So many of these comments are just proof most of you are terrible people. “Well my life is harder, get over it” “Cant expect him to take time off of work” “I did it so can you” PS: not everyone is like you all. Learn to be empathetic. Maybe she’s vomiting and shitting her pants and can’t even safely monitor her children? Ever think about that? And as for her family she could call, I’m sure they don’t want the stomach bug. He absolutely should come home if he’s able to do so and take care of his OWN children so she can rest.
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Sounds like ur a single wife. Your husband is inconsiderate and sadly he will not change. You have to ask yourself if this is something you’re willing to put up with the rest of your life.
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Was 911 called…did you fall and could not get up ? People can not drop at a hat come running for you when you are throwing up or have a headache…it’s been stereo typed years ago…that the wife is the caregiver of sick kids and husband’s…You could be falling over half dead and they’ll still want their dinner on the table…that’s why Virginia…I’m single…not playing that game…
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I understand how you feel. When dad’s are sick they get to rest, but a mom doesn’t get to. 
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Did you die? Single parents do it every day!!! Go get some ginger ale
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I broke my foot when my husband was away at work and couldn’t even walk with the baby. We also live in a town I know literally NO ONE. I had to figure it out.
Being sick is not a reason for him to come home if you have family around.
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Welcome to womanhood. Nobody takes care of the woman.
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I would have jumped in that car with my kids found out where he was and go to him. I dont play that game with no man.
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Welcome to motherhood. Mom’s don’t get sick days unfortunately.
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Welcome to adulthood
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I guess I’m just lucky my husband would of taken off work and used the “ sick time” as she said means he would still get paid.
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Probably best to discuss this with him and not random strangers.
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- This is called motherhood/being a wife 2. Stop being selfish and be great full that you have the opportunity to stay home and care for your children and husband a lot of us didn’t have that
- He is caring for you by ensuring your financial needs are met. Your not dying your ill
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Are you serious??? How old are you???
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Lawd u sound ridiculous.
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Unless you needed to be hospitalized I wouldn’t have left either. It’s only 2 days. He was smart in his decision
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I’m sorry you were feeling bad but unless you were dying why would your partner takeoff work to come home and take care of you
Part and parcel of being a parent
Grow up and welcome to Adulthood.
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I feel your pain. We are there for everyone, but whose there for us?
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Wait I’m sorry what? Why would you expect him to come home when he’s the only one working and your an adult? I’m so confused by this post lol
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I think you’re being too much when it comes to this situation. You want him to leave work to come take care of you however family is an option you could’ve had family or friends just keep the kids overnight for you and maybe have them grab you some items and just vegged out on the couch or bed for a day and got better. I mean had you been hospitalized yeah I could see your frustration however you got the flu or a stomach bug. Does it suck being mom and being sick yeah yeah it does. But when you chose to stay home and be mom you made that choice. He doesn’t want to use his sick leave he shouldn’t have too especially when you just said family is an option but you hate to ask. I would’ve made the same decision he did. It’s sucks but it’s the right decision.
I had flu type A back in May, fever, chills,throwing up, upset stomach, and cough. I felt like absolute death and I still had to take care of my 3 yr old and 16 month old while being almost 8 months pregnant. My hubby farms an hour away from home and as much as I needed him, he had to work. It’s difficult at times but we as mommy’s don’t get sick days.
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I would start taking up working at your own job, if he does not value you, then you should!
I get you were only 2 days iII, but it’s the idea that you can carry on, and we all know he wouldn’t if iII, he would plonk himself at his hotel and stay in bed !
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l get paid over $ 135 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 19265 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Welcome to motherhood and parenting. When you’re sick you take care of your kids.
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That’s the way it goes for us stay at home moms. And sometimes even for those moms that are working they do it all sorry about your luck sweetie put on your big girl panties!
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Welcome to the grown up world. We’re you bed ridden …couldn’t walk etc.if not grow up. He May not could have took off. He is supporting your family. Suck it up buttercup
He’s the only income and maybe concerned. I’d give him a break
I work and post surgery I was at home alone with my kids while my partner worked, it’s not easy but if he didn’t care, you would be working full time taking off to take care of the kids when he’s sick! PERSPECTIVE !
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I mean I guess I’m on the opposite side of this cause my husband came home and took over the kids just because I was throwing up so much I could hardly stand up. No he doesn’t leave work all the time if I’m sick but I’m also stubborn unless it gets really bad ill do it myself
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