Na bruh y’all need to sit down and talk first. If you have a problem with me you’re not seeing my kids. Period.
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Stand your ground, you both are adults
Should your adult quarrel effect the relationship your children have with their Aunt? NOPE! Unless the person is physically DANGEROUS or Certified by a Doctor to be mentally unstable or incompetent their relationship with your and your husband’s children SHOULD NOT BE EFFECTED. Come on now…like you don’t already know that. Keep the kids out of your adult squabbles or act like more like a child than the children do on their worst day. Don’t mix Apples and Oranges dear.
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Growup thats his sister, they are blood. Gees way to nit picky.
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Ladies look at YOURSELVES in the Mirror. WHOM amongst Us has not been toxic at some time in our lives ? Let me see a show of hands and I will show you Denial.
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Bernie Perez mira, la cara de rata 
Nope
No need to have secret meetings
If she wants to see the kids she has to have a talk with you
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Frist to tell someone they can not see their family that is a form of domestic abuse and you need to understand that. DO I agree or disagree with your husband letting her see your kids does not matter if I agree or disagree. You live your life in a way for your children to know that whatever their aunt may say negative about you they know its a lie. You live your life so that your children do not see you hate other people never talk down about other people if fact talk positive about them. When she does say something about you you ask your kids have you ever experienced from me what she has said about me if you live a life where they have not seen what she has said their answer will be no then you tell them do not always believe what everyone tells you use the brain God gave you to know and think about if what they say is true or not. If you have not experience or seen me do it likely I have not done it. FYI demanding your husband not to see someone is abuse of isolation. Marriage does not mean you have to join into each others fights, it’s you love them despite the things your do not like. If you were to get a divorce guess who would have no choice in who their kids see period. When they would be with their dad you would have NO choice so you need to decide what is more important to you your kids and family or this fight you insist on prolonging. Why dont’ you pull up your big girl pants and invite her to your house and have a healthy conversation of let bury the hatchet let the past be the past and let move forward many people say things in anger that would not normally would be said. As well Sometimes its better to keep enemies closer.
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She gets one chance with the kids and that’s it. After that it is when they are adults they can decide. As for the husband, he is an asshole and inconsiderate. You are his wife and he should not try to insult or devalue you.
Conversations are needed for this
Honey, this is a husband problem. Why on earth is your husband okay with your kids spending time with someone who treats his wife, partner, and mother of his children this way? Would he put up with any of this from someone who wasn’t “family?” If the two of your can’t sit down and have an open, respectful conversation about it, then I’d say you should probably get a marriage counselor. I seem to be in the minority based on what comments I read, but this isn’t okay.
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My husband has 1 cousin who I don’t let see my kids. She treated me like shit my last pregnancy never apologized to me. She sees my kids from a distance 1 time a year. My husband thinks about doing secret meetings my husband would be sleeping on the porch. I don’t play that game. She can also hang out with the kids in my presence. 1 family member out of 100s. At this point I point out that I am not comfortable with her alone with my children. She is very manipulating. He can hang out with her alone all he wants but not with any of the kids. Does this make him mad? Yes. But I have no time for ppl like her. On the flip side my whole family is cut off on my choice bc they were doing the same crap she did. I do both sides fairly. My family doesn’t know our 2 year old. My 8 year old hates them. And my stepson doesn’t care. My husband talks to my brother but I tell him to keep my name out of your mouth with him. He filed a cps report and missing person report for me and my daughter. They are very controlling. Since than i was done. Dcs finally left us alone after I told them off. And the police proved I was safe and with my husband at free will. It was a mess for a year.
I totally understand how you feel but be the bigger person and try and have a talk with her to iron things out…your husband is in the middle and I’m sure it causing him some stress because he loves you but also loves his sister…maybe if you just showed up with your husband you both or all three could have an adult conversation and make a mends… Good Luck
My husband and I both cut my sister in law out of our lives when she started the CPS threats. Our stories sound similar, but also very different. My sister in law is fiercely obsessed with me. I can’t make a single move without her making the same one. Everyone tells me it’s the highest form of flattery, but I just find it really creepy. She’s so jealous of how people love me that she literally has strangers coming up to me wondering why I’m bad mouthing them (I’m obviously not) she’s just insane.
Listen, it’s like this. I don’t care whose blood runs through your veins. Toxic is toxic and sometimes family is not everything, it’s shit. We drew the line at stooping low enough to threaten CPS. It’s not our kids fault that she’s a lunatic. The one thing I won’t tolerate is someone using my kids to hurt me because they can’t hurt me any other way. I’m a wonderful mom, my kids are my life. I’m super skinny, born that way, nothing I can do about it. She accused me of doing drugs, drugging my kids, and then threatened CPS (whom might I add were at her house a week prior because her son got slung through a wall trying to protect her from his dad).
Toxic is toxic, even if it’s family. Stand your ground!
Please don’t let these people make you think her behavior is okay. Depending on what you posted exactly, you decide your intentions of that post.
Nope too toxic. You don’t need that negativity in your life.
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Wouldn’t waste my time on her. Set your boundaries and be firm if she crosses just one she’s out. This is about healthy relationships for your children not adult feelings.
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Here’s the “thing”
You’re not the only parent. You’re not the only one allowed to make decisions with/for the children.
As moms were constantly encouraged to act with complete disregard towards dad’s and that’s not ok. Unless physical safety is a serious question it should never be “my way or no way”
Theres also this stigma that all in-laws are just awful. Society paints the in-laws as monstrous and leaves the bride/husband to he the “damsel”
Most often the issues are miscommunication and differences in how one has been raised. Where it’s not particularly wrong just foriegn so you don’t really “get” each other. So it’s hard to “marry” the two types to make them more…harmonious.
Keep in mind here…she’s your sister in law…but you’re also hers.
To be perfectly honest it sounds as though everyone in this scenario BUT your husband is acting incredibly immature -yes that includes you- (its immature to promise “secret” meetings…not so immature to just promise she’ll get to see them)
Your husband and her made up. It sounds as though your husband doesn’t believe you’ll actually make up with her. That instead of saying “ok” and letting the past go you’ll put in stipulations to your forgiveness that she as a person may just not be able live up to.
This stance would be more appropriate if this person was just a friend. But…she’s not. She’s your husband’s sister and your kid’s aunt.
And right now…you are the one dragging your children into an adult’s feud. By banning them from seeing thier aunt until she jumps through enough hoops to appease you. That’s not cool.
I’ll give you that some of the things she’s done sound toxic but I do have to wonder if there’s more to the story in some way. Not saying you’ve actually done anything wrong but it’s possible that her issue was that something was misinterpreted in some way.
Yes. You need to talk to her and try to resolve the issue. But you it’s not right put this stipulation in that until you forgive her she cannot be around your children. When you’re only half of thier parenting unit.
And yes. I do get it.
I dont care for my sister in law much. I havent forgiven her for what she did to her oldest kids yet…despite the fact that most of my in-laws have.
I can see that she’s trying and I give her points for it…and I’m hoping to be able to have a better relationship with her one day. I’m just not there yet.
It’s way too close to my own trauma issues.
So this is more of a me issue less of a her issue and I fully recognize that.
And while I’m definitely not up for inviting her to my house for dinner…if we go to visit my mother in law and she’s there I would never put down some crazy law she can’t speak or interact with her nephews and I would never just get up to leave and yank them away from thier grandparents, cousins, and aunt to get them away.
My advice? Find a compromise. Allow your husband to take the kids to meet her at say a park for a few hours.
They’ll spend more time playing with the oldest and taking care of the baby than anything else.
And set up a time to invite her over to talk to her…really try to work past your feelings especially if she’s willing to apologize and try to be a little less…dramatic.
That’s really all I can say. I dont think your feelings are necessarily wrong, but I think you could handle the situation a little better.
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Imo having a conversation with her isn’t going to change her. If someone doesn’t see fault in their actions. Sure ,family is family… but it doesn’t mean you have to put up with the toxicity. Imo if the partner still wants to see their sister, then so be it but you and your kids don’t have too.
I’ve been doing it for 25 yrs … 
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I would bust him out on it and ask him if he thinks he’s doing good by doing this?
First of all that was between him and his sister… No reason for you to get pissed to the point your trying to brake up family bond between him and his sister… If you dont like her so what. You dont have to go around her but belive me if his family are close your not going to stop them from talking
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I see alot of people saying that “she’s family, forgive her” nah! Just because she’s family does NOT mean she’s healthy or good for your kids nor you! Just because she’s family does NOT mean that you HAVE to forgive her or have her and her toxic ways in your families life. If she disrespects you in front of the family and sees no wrong in it, what makes anyone think that she won’t say worse about you around the kids or in private? Kids are easily influenced, they go off or what other people say or do. That’s why you are told to watch who you have around your kid/kids when they are growing up (amongst other reasons) because kids will imitate what they see and that carries on into adulthood. Why would you want your kids around someone who has absolutely no respect for you or anyone really. That’s teaching your children that it’s okay to be like that and it’s okay to disrespect you and their father. Cut her out completely and if your husband wants to continue to see someone who clearly has absolutely no respect for you then let him, but also know that if he’s okay with keeping contact with someone who disrespects you and is pretty much allowing it, then you might have a bigger problem on your hands because if he’s okay with her being like that towards you and disrespecting you like that then there’s obviously something wrong. No man would EVER let anyone disrespect his family and most definitely wouldn’t allow them around his family either, no matter who they were 
it’s not like it happened once and she was let back in and everything was fine. This was more than once and she continues to not see a problem with anything she has done.
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Sounds like the kids are more grown up than the adults. Kids are always the one’s that get hurt.
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Wow. If my husband tried to keep my children from my family for ANY reason, I would cut him OUT.
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You be there in person if she starts her bad mouth against you leave and dont go back its up to her
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Wow, I am so glad I am not married right now.
Go along with it, then confront her about all the garbage.
So have a talk with her about it 
set your boundaries.
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It is his sister and his kids too so you have no control over that but let him know that you will never have anything to do with her. Block her and if she starts to try to poison the kids against you then all bets are off, siblings or not.
Toxic people will always be toxic. Having it out with her isn’t going to change anything, honestly. Hubs should understand your views. If he wants to hang out with his sister, fine but he needs to respect your wishes and not bring the kids around the toxicity
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Id cut her off if anyone called cps on me its over i know i take care of mine and I value my piece of mind. Id even leave my man over him not respecting my wishes and going behind my back like that
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I see a lot of people pretty much telling you that that’s his sister and his kids too so you have no control over it!! Bullshit!! You are his wife, therefore his family is your family!! And toxic is toxic. This is something I’m learning in my marriage as well! If you don’t feel comfortable with your kids going to see her alone, express that to him and tell him do not do it, if he does anyways, that would be a final straw for me. You don’t put my kids in a situation I told you specifically not to with a toxic person. Good luck darling.
Grow a set and leave him
It’s concerning that so many people think because someone is “family” that they can treat someone how they want and it’s just supposed to be ok…that’s not healthy.
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I’m sorry, but I really don’t see why there are so many people saying to forgive her. Someone who insults me to my face and behind my back, claims credit when they weren’t even there, threatens to call CPS for bs reasons is a bully and I would not want someone like that around my kids, whether they’re family or not.
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Nah, I’d be pissed that my husband was doing this. His sister sounds spoiled and toxic. I wouldn’t allow this behavior to go on in front of my kids and my kids are someone’s pons in their sick games… your kids are yours also, so if your husband goes behind your back, what type of husband is he?? Just because the sister is family doesn’t mean she is above all and can do whatever she wants. You are the kids mother so if it’s toxic for you it’s toxic for them. Just my opinion .
As soon as anyone ever says cps they need to be cut off immediately. The end
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Yea…ummmm…no. I do not feel the issues can’t be fixed between y’all or should tear a family apart.
I do however feel there needs to be a conversation and boundaries set moving forward, between all parties. If she is not grown enough to this with you, she isn’t mature enough to have around your children. Period.
Nope. He can hang around her if he wants, but don’t bring kids around that toxicity. Especially if she’s threatened with cps among everything else she’s done. The bad mouthing as well, because she will likely make subtle comments and your kids will pick up on that, I promise. I don’t even know if I could stay with my husband if he were willing to be around his sister after all that. My husband’s sister and I had a fall out and it wasn’t even close to being as bad as your situation and he’s still just as angry over it now as he was a year ago… we haven’t had anything to do with her since
Honestly i would just wash my hands with the situation and be the adult the situation that yall had is over and done with. Whom knows she may have forgot about it or prushed it off. I would volunteer myself when your hubby goes over with Yalls babies and just smile. Kill someone with Kindness 
it does work. And life is to short and family need to learn to get tighter.
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Your husband sneaking visits is the huge red flag for me. It shows his priorities are to his sister and not his wife. All 3 of you should be adult enough to sit down and discuss the situation, and badmouthing or talking behind someone’s back is never okay. You definitely don’t want your kids growing up that way. You may have to be the bigger person and forgive. You’re not overreacting, but focus more on the best environment and relationships for your kids.
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My daughter-in-law continues to hold our grandchildren hostage. Every time she gets mad about anything she will tell us we can’t see the kids. This is so bad on the kids, they cry and they beg nana and papa to stay at their house when they can. cps showed up at their house because it such a bad house. This said DO NOT use your children as weapons. Aunties are so important to kids.
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Toxic is Toxic…being family doesn’t change that.
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You and her not getting along has nothing going to do with the love your children and her share. If you don’t like her don’t be around her but don’t punish your kids for grown up issues they probably don’t understand anyway. You will lose nothing by letting them spend time with her, after all she is family whether you get along or not
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Yall haven’t grown up in a Hispanics family and it shows lol #latoxica its his sister, just ignore her everything she says is bull shit and let it go. Mabey its just me tho my family be talking shit on the regular but at the end of the day its just talk lol
Just tell him she can see with you and him both been there and done that
They have a relationship with their aunt.As long as she hasn’t harmed them. As a good mother you shouldn’t push your feelings on to them. You have a choice to be mad and not talk to your sister in law. And so should your children. Give them the freedom to make their own relationships choices just like you. Or you can disregard their feelings and use them as a weapon for your own selfish reasons.
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Alot of people aren’t getting the fact that her sister in-law is threatening to call CPS and file FALSE claims because she’s not getting her way. If that doesn’t scream toxic, then idk what does. Children fall, fight with their siblings, ect. and get bruises. If she’s willing to call and make false claims on her because she’s not getting her way who’s to say she wouldn’t try and use whatever she can as “evidence” for her claims to CPS. Yes there are some people who are willing to go that far when they don’t get their way because they throw their fit and expect everyone to bow down to them but if people don’t then they use what they can to try and MAKE people do what they want. It’s not safe nor healthy to have someone like that around her children. Idc if it the fucking pope, if someone is willing to hurt children along the way to get what they want, (yes I did say hurt, because that’s putting a child threw the trauma of being taken away from their parents and that hurts a child) they don’t deserve to see them. The sister in-law is literally way too WILLING to have her nieces or nephews taken out of a home away from their parents and put into a home of strangers where alot of kids have been killed or “came up missing” way too many times and alot of the times those kids were taken out of good homes because of false claims. I just don’t understand how people think that she’s just supposed allow her kids around someone who is way too eager to call CPS all because she’s not getting her way. Your husband might say she won’t call CPS and that she’s just saying it out of anger, but people surprise us every day with things that we never thought that they would do, why take the chance? If your husband would rather take the chance of her doing that, he obviously needs to be asked where his priorities stand within your family because if he’s willing to risk your children getting taken from you, then he has some explaining to do as to why because any good parent would take them and their children out of a situation like that, not keep their selves and their kids in it, to feed them more ammunition for them to use against you
Everyone definitely needs to sit down together and sort this out.
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Oh hell no. Your husbands obligation and priority is to you, not his sister. Secrecy is a marriage killer. You are not overreacting.
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Sounds like a bunch of petty, childish drama.
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I’d say if she wants to see the kids it should be in your home. Since she is toxic you dont want her influencing your children and in your home she has to behave otherwise it’s still not good for the kiddos if she gets out of line . No fighting in front of kids. They dont need grown up stress.
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Also keep Jesus close let Jesus walk you through this cause I know this situation word throw me out of character…
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And if she threatens CPS for no good reason, she can get cut off. She obviously does not have the childrens best interest at heart if she is willing to put them thru all that unnecessary stress.
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Why don’t you try being the bigger person and calling her and trying to talk it out. It is wrong that your husband is going behind your back though. Try having a simple
conversation face to face just the two of you
Petty and childish 
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If she trash you to YOUR HUSBAND she will surely TRASH YOU TO YOUR KIDS…You 3 need to talk before she has time with the kids!
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Restraining order on her from being around the kids and then police when she violates. Shes wanna run her mouth, give her a reason.
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He needs to grow up. If you had plans to try and work it out he should have supported the meeting and then make plans to visit as a family.
He should want you guys to get along. Other wise no…not welcome.
… And it has nothing to do with the kids because she just went a year with out a care so it’s not just you being childish
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If she is not willing to sit and resolve the issues then she doesn’t deserve to b a part of their lives.
This sounds to me like narsasitic manipulation on the husband’s sister side and it will only get worse if you give in and let her get her way.
Stand your ground and give your husband an ultimatum and that will tell you where his loyalty and priorities are.
Sry there needs to be sit down and talk and if she can’t do that then she can’t be around the kids
I think that you are trying to handle it reasonably. With so many issues at play, they should definitely be addressed, and I can’t blame you for worrying about her badmouthing you to your kids.
So you want to keep him and the kids away from her. Like a control freak. She is Family, not just a friend. People make mistakes. Its all childish. One day he won’t have his sister. Do you want him to resent you for keeping his sister away.
It will be healthy for all of url to sit down and mend things… if no1 wants to talk about the past, that is fine…but move forward and out of the rut.
Mayb you can try to move away from it and maybe she will and can change…give it a try, if she goes back to her old ways then u have every reason to deny her seeing the kids and ur husband will know that u have tried
You have a phone. Be the grown up.
Girl Bye ! Just Bye ! You’re Toxic and you will learn that he will always pick his blood siblings over you ! He is your Husband that is it baby ! Grow up and stop hating on their siblings bonding! Go chill with your siblings and stay out their business! Stop using your children as a pawn in your Simon says game ! You’ll eventually lose your Husband if you keep it up ! Girl Bye ! Just Bye 
You’re not mad that she ever disrespected your children directly! Y’all be wanting control like he is your Son ! Weird much
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You can still have that talk with her. Your husband should support you.
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This is something that won’t stand. One thing about my husband is he will cut you off in a heartbeat. With that being said I think a lot of people have different family dynamics. You should just sit down and talk it out you guys are family l. No matter what the kids shouldn’t be involved in issues of the adults. You’re just assuming she’s bad mouthing you but also you guys are of one flesh so ur husband should 100% have ur back. No sneaky shit at all.
My brother picked his wife over his family and his wife was the one being toxic. Slamming me on parenting and always letting the kids down. So i said that is ok I will protect my kids from constant let down. It will be a year in may since I last saw him or my niece. It sucks but I have to protect my kids. My husband agrees to it. My sons father agrees to it. My mom is trying to force us to get along and I said not until there is an apology for slamming me as a parent in front of a kid old enough to understand it and when she can stop standing my kids up and letting them down month after month. I have them blocked but they haven’t even attempted to contact my husband . You do you, protect yourself, your kids (and yes she is causing trouble for them if she wants cps involved) and sit down with your husband and explain everything to him. And if he can’t respect you, tell him you want counseling together.
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ur husband is trippin.
fuck ur SIL for getting her way without getting along with the kids mom.
that’s all i’m saying.
Why do yall post yall bs ass drama on here. Grow up
So. Sick. Of. People. Using. Kids!! Leave them out of it! What a damn shame that he has to sneak to let his sister see his damn kids. Something is terribly wrong with some of these woman!! Sorry to be so extra about it. I have been through this. I still haven’t been around my nieces for 2 years. Over drama between the mother and I! So messed up
Sounds petty. You don’t have to be anywhere near her, but your husband has the right to decide who he wants to have in his and the children’s lives as much as you do. When they’re old enough, they can decide on their own.
What does he say about his decision, and how does he accomplish this since it’s clearly no longer in secret?
No ur husband should be standing up for u and taking your side! No secret meetings either that’s just wierd
Or maybe you just need to show up at one of those “secret meetings” and show her who’s fucking boss as well as mama bear.
There was a quote read somewhere in my internet travels that stuck with me…“Your title to my child doesn’t make you entitled to my child”…let that be a reminder to yourself.